BluObieZ

Really had say that? my decision was not personal at all. Hell I was willing to play with Kendrick. He wasn't even a factor in my decision. It came down to I have been in Davos through a rebuild. They now have a team to take a shot at it with. I just wanted to be the one hoisting that cup for them in the end if it happens. I was C for the last 2 seasons and will be for the upcoming season. It would be the ultimate payoff for the 2 shitty ending seasons. That is why I am staying in Davos and not joining the amazing and stacked Cologne. Nothing personal at all. I loved your pitch and how players on your team tried to get me to come. It was a real sense of team work. I liked that. And no that is not sarcasim

So after mauling it over I think I came up with a better reason as to why I picked staying in Davos The "voting" kinda broke down like this Cologne came very close to getting me they just scored .5 on the last one. If they got the 6 and it was the tie they would have won a tie breaker. I really wanted to join Cologne. They got a great group of guys over there that I get along with or at least lately tolerate. I enjoyed the back and forth between me and players on Cologne during the whole process. Until that trade Davos made that trade they weren't even a thought in my head. But once I saw it, I thought hmmmm... because that top line we will make there will be killer. As it was stated above. It will be Davos Offense and goaltending against Cologne D. SWC3 is a offensive player and I wanted him to play on a more offensive team and that is what it really came down to. Hope everyone enjoyed the FA antics. I know I did

So I know why you all are here. You want to know where I will be taking talents in s50. Well after a long pondering I have made my decision. A decision that is hard because I leave very good anday strong offers on the table. First I would like address the first loser so you can call them 3rd place. Seattle had a very strong offer. Tons of money to play for a horrible team for one season. Then less money to play for a shot at the cup. I turned it down because ultimately I want to win as many cups as possible and sacking for a season makes no sense to me. I wanted to do it but I couldn't. Next up is is the 2nd place team. This was VERY HARD to turn down. Every inch of me was saying Covington you fucking moron go there. They have a legit shot at the cup this season. They have many guys that I like. But in the end I could not sign there. Why? I'm not exactly sure at this moment. This maybe something I regret at the end of the season. But the 2nd place team in the Covington sweepstakes is... Cologne. Thank you for the offer and the tons and I mean tons of messages from multiple players on the team. But in the end after that trade Davos made it made it hard to leave Davos. So yes I am staying in Davos for another season with a PO on season 2 but we all know I won't pick it up. If we fail in Davos this season I will not waste another season there. I also have the GM's word if things go south this season he will trade me. This is all. The hockey world can lose their minds now. Mic drop

SWC3 walks to the podium and taps the microphone. Test... test... okay now fuck off you still have to wait about 2hrs

Well if you put it that way... But as a parting gift for coming out late to the party I give you this

So are you saying we are getting Lahey drunk?

Don't you mean PHIL'ER UP

Who wants shots? i'm buying

I Robbie Zimmers when I don't start things like this always have the pcorn ready and popped and the whiskey ready to go

Robert FUCKING Zimmers wants to toss his hat in. Already have a backstory for the most ridiculous player ever! Oh and he's a goalie

Oh I have to do the next one at a Best Buy. That would be epic. maybe even do a podcast as I do it. That video gave me ideas

Well hello out there in VHL world, welcome to my announcement press conference. It took a while to get to this point, countless beers were consumed on my boat not thinking about what I was going to do here. Why? it's because I just didn't give a fuck that people were waiting for it. Plus I actually just wanted to enjoy my boat since I don't get out on it that often due to my busy schedule. Some people understood and other decided to pester me for a answer. Do I blame them for pestering? no I do not because I would have done the same thing when I knew someone was dragging his feet just for the sake of dragging their feet. But now it's down to two teams. One of which is a team that does not "need" me but they want me. Cologne would most certainly last longer then five games with me on their roster. Hell they may actually beat Toronto. I would be stupid not to join Cologne they are a powerful team and one that can win the cup. So why is this decision so hard? well Seattle offers me tons of money, the "C" on my chest and a cup shot one year later then Cologne does. So it's strong in other aspects then Cologne's offer is. Sure I want to win now but if I wait the one more season of shittiness I get a ton of money suck and then the next season BOOM I get my shot. That is why my decision is so tough and took me this long to make it. But without further stalling lets get to the words that the team that won the bidding war has been waiting for. The infamous words that only I can say. I Sir William Covington III am taking my talents to... wait no... First I should thank the losing team. I would like to say that you had a great offer and you gave me what I wanted but I felt that the other team had a better offer not contractually but overall. I like their LR, I like their players and I like how I can be myself. So with that without naming the losing team I will name the winning team. The team that can put Covington III on the back of their jersey next season is...

INT-ATU-MORNING Mail dude is crying as he is fighting the pain. Buck is pacing around the room waiting for him to crack. Mail Dude just continues to cry and shake his head in hopes that Buck will realize that he is trying to tell him that he cannot talk. Buck @JardyB10 You are one tough cookie to crack. Not like those fucking pathetic fortune cookies. You sir are a terror cookie. Buck leans in and whispers in the ear of Mail Dude Buck I hate terror cookies We now go behind the two way glass as Phil @Phil, Fre @frescoelmo and Ken stand watching the interrogation Ken Does this man even know how to interrogate? I can get answers out of that man in five minutes… hell give me just four Phil Give him a chance, he called dibs after all Ken I have a track record of cracking terrorist in just mere minutes. Watching him waste time is just that, a waste of time that we don’t have Phil You may have a track record but so does he Ken Oh he does? Of what? Phil shrugs Phil Didn’t think you would question that… He has a track record of… flying off the handle? Ken Oh and that’s really going to help here Phil It may INT-WAREHOUSE-MORNING Rob is sitting at the head of an obscenely large table with Angelo and Alec standing at the other end of the table. Alec @ADwyer87 Oh this is what the table was for Rob Shut up and start with the presentation Angelo @Molholt Yeah shut up Alec Alec I don’t need to be told by two people to shut up Rob Both of you shut up and start The lights go out and projector turns on to reveal live streamed aerial video from above a pier. Angelo Whiskey Foxtrot is ready to go in on your mark sir Rob Are we sure that this the place? Because if this is one of your fuck ups the authorities will be alerted and we will be fucked Angelo Intel tells us that it’s in there, we will probably encounter endless amounts of security to keep us from getting it. But we will have the element of surprise by cutting the power out Rob Tell the team the mission is a go Angelo puts his hand to his ear Angelo You are a go Whiskey Foxtrot, I repeat you are a go INT-ATU-MORNING Buck is intensely looking at Mail Dude in the eyes as he hold a syringe in his hand. He is so excited and worked up his hand is shaking as he holds it. Mail Dude looks at the syringe as he shakes in fear Buck I’m going to enjoy watching you in pain. I’m going to so enjoy it Buck looks at the syringe Buck mmmm… fuck you don’t even want to know what this one can and will do to you Buck licks his lips as he almost drools at the sight of the syringe. He slowly brings it near Mail dude but then brings it to his own arm, his eyes gloss over almost like he has done this before. After a few seconds he snaps out of it and slaps himself in the face before stabbing the syringe into mail dudes arm. Mail dude opens his mouth like he is screaming but nothing comes out. Buck You like that? It pleases you don’t it? You sick son of a bitch. Time for the big guns Buck rushes for the door but before he can grab the door handle the door flies open and Fre stands there with a glass of water. Buck Assistant Fre what are you doing with that? Fre I am not your assistant Buck You are not an agent so you must be something Fre You are not an agent either, we are garbage men Buck Don’t you dare say the “G” word again Fre What? Garbage? Buck Shut up Fre walks past Buck and towards Mail Dude Buck Put the water down and step away from the water Fre No, you cannot keep torturing him. He has rights Buck You just accosted a federal agent. If you do not put down the weapon I will be forced to arrest you Fre Arrest me?... wait what? Weapon? It’s water. He must be thirsty Buck Yeah for more blood to spill Fre offers the water to Mail Dude but before he can drink any Buck runs up and takes the water away from Fre Buck You are under arrest for aiding a known terrorist Fre You can’t arrest me Buck I can and I just did. Now put these on Buck tosses Fre handcuffs INT-PIER-MORNING FONG AZN @tfong is leading a group of terrorist into the pier they encounter stiff resistance from the security detail. But Fong being Asian has seen every bruce lee movie and even every Jackie Chan movie who he viewed as less of a Martial Arts type dude but a better actor. Fong sprung into action and quickly kicked, flipped, and snapped necks his way around the pier before the security detail was all dead or on the ground rolling around in pain. Fong leads the remaining men towards two massive doors as he puts his hand to his ear Fong I have the doors in sight Rob Proceed with caution there maybe security forces Fong Correction there was Rob Was? Fong Affirmative, there was before I went Asian on their asses Rob Copy that INT-ATU-MORNING Fre is now cuffed to a chair next to Mail Dude as Buck sits on the table in front of them intensely staring at them Buck What I want to know is why you were so quick to try to help the terrorist Fre He’s not a… Buck Shut up! I wasn’t done talking. You only speak when I am done. I am the authority here and you are the scum Silence fills the room Buck You claim you were just trying to give him what every human deserves which is food and water. But then where is the food? What is so special about this water? Buck looks at the water then smells it as he tries to investigate it Buck There is something off here Fre Yeah your brain Buck glares at Fre then looks down at the water inquisitively Buck If you are here to “help” him then you put something in the water. Something that… Buck pauses as he is grasping at anything he can come up with Buck Helps him combat what I am injecting him with… OR! You dissolved a cyanide pill in the water so he will die and I will never get information out of him. Well you will never and I mean NEVER outsmart Agent Buck Bunkuer for he is the most agenty agent in the world. He is always two steps ahead of the game. I will not stand idly by while you try to give this terrorist scum an easy way out. So he can be a martyr and get his virgins in the sky. Buck pours all the water into his mouth and swishes it around Fre You do know if there is cyanide in there you will die right? Mr most agenty agent in the world Buck thinks for a second before spitting out the water all over Mail dude who drinks what he can because he is so thirsty. After a few moments Mail Dude tries to speak Mail I’m… not…a…Terrorist INT-PIER-MORNING Fong opens the doors to find a weapons cash. He approaches a big box in the middle of the room. As he opens the box the episode fades to black.