BluObieZ

EXT-STREET-DAY

The sound of birds, flies and frogs fill the air as we come up to a road that goes through a forest. No person, animal or Zombie can be seen. It is almost too calm. But as we almost get used to the new norm shouting can be heard.
 
@JardyB10
Move faster you fucking Llama’s you are making me look bad
 
@Draper
Maybe Higgins was right
 
Jardy
Don’t you dare speak that man’s name, he’s dead! DEAD I SAY!
 
Higgins now can be seen running from around the corner being chased by a slow moving group of Zombies. Higgins shouts out as he gasps for air
 
@Higgins
Jardy… STOP! Please… I said I was sorry a hundred times
 
Jardy
It was thirty four
 
Higgins stops to catch his breath but then looks behind him to see the Zombies slowing chasing him. So he goes back to slowly jogging towards the carriage that is going slightly faster than him and the zombies.
 
Higgins
Are you seriously counting?
 
Jardy
Yep so if I were you I would start saying your sorries
 
INT-GEO-MORNING

Kendrick is sitting in the passenger seat of the small overly stuffed Geo as Robert drives the car and the new guy and his dog sit in the back.
 
Robert
Let’s play a game
 
Kendrick
Oh god
 
Man
Like what?
 
The dog barks
 
Robert
The name game. Try to guess my name, if you get it we move onto Jo… oops almost said his name. But as I was saying, as soon as you guess my name we move onto my friends name then yours
 
Kendrick
Please no
 
Man
That sounds fun
 
Kendrick
It’s not
 
Robert
You can’t go into the apocalypse with this attitude bud. If you do then you will have a horrible apocalypse and that’s just how I do the end of human kind
 
Kendrick
Oh it’s not?... I’m so fucking sorry that I am ruining your apocalypse there bud. I will try to cheer up for you
 
Kendrick sarcastically smiles
 
Robert
Oh, why thank you. That’s very considerate of you
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma is walking behind the two men who are carrying rifles as Ahma is eating porridge out of an old dirty can they must have found along the road.
 
Ahma
That’s some grade-A porridge
 
Man 1 looks at Man 2
 
Man 1
I’ve never seen someone eat so much porridge
 
Man 2
He’s like the Porridge monster. We need to lose him somehow Jarpi
 
Jarpi
I know Jukka, don’t talk to me like I am a dumb American
 
Jukka laughs
 
Jukka
American’s so stupid
 
Jarpi and Jukka both laugh as an oblivious Ahma eats his Porridge
INT-LIMO-DAY
William is driving down Las Vegas BLVD very fast. Going around cars that are abandoned and on fire. Everyone in the back are holding on for dear life.
 
Vincent
Will you slow the fuck down?
 
William
No! no fucking way. This is the apocalypse and I want to get the fuck out of dodge
 
Vincent
So do we but we need to get out of here ALIVE
 
William
That’s an overrated side objective
 
Vincent
Overrated? Side objective? What in the holy hell are you talking about. If we die in a car crash you cannot live anymore and you become one of them
 
William
If I do… then I do. I will become the master Zombie. But to clarify my previous statement for all you undesirables. I don’t care if you (points at Rick) or you (points at Carl) you (points at the baby) or even you (points at Vincent) die. You are people that I will use to get me to my final objective which is my plane.
 
Vincent
Well that’s not really nice of you
 
William
And it wasn’t really nice of you to bring the two family fuck with us. Rick and his lame jokes almost makes me want to kill them all. Carl so he doesn’t have to hear the jokes anymore, the baby because it’s fucked and Rick because I cannot take another one of those fucking jokes

Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl
No dad
 
Rick
Where did Noah put all the bees?
 
Carl
Please kill me
 
Rick
In the Ark hives
 
Carl
Please
 
Rick
IN THE ARKHIVES CARL! THE ARKHIVES! Where am I getting all this grade-A jokes?
 
Carl
I don’t know…
 
William reaches for a gun that is under the passenger seat and cocks it.
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is still slowly chasing after the carriage as he says sorry over and over
 
Jardy
And that’s one hundred
 
Higgins stops out of celebration
 
Higgins
Ok now let me on
 
Higgins watches as Jardy does not stop
 
Higgins
Jardy? Are you not going to stop?
 
Jardy
I can’t or they will catch up. Do you see a criminal stop in a high speed chase so the cops can catch up?
 
Higgins looks at Jardy then the zombies. Only about twenty yards separate them. Higgins now realizes that Jardy will not stop and the Zombies are getting close to him.
 
Higgins
But Jardy this is not even close to a high speed chase
 
Jardy
A chase is a chase so giddy up higgy
 
Higgins begins to run after the carriage as fast as he can with his tired body. Draper nudges @Victor awake and points at Higgins as he runs. Victor and Draper begin to laugh at Higgins. They now begin to throw things at Higgins in an attempt to hit him.
 
Higgins
What the fuck are you guys doing?
 
Victor
Trying to hit zombies?
 
Higgins
You are aiming at me not them
 
Victor throws an empty beer bottle at Higgins that barely misses him
 
Higgins
Aim higher
 
Jardy
No lower, hit him in the balls
 
Draper
Cold…
 
Victor
Ice
 
Jardy
Ice cold indeed Victor my drunken friend
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
Robert
Is it Jim?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
James?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jason?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jaybert?
 
Kendrick slams his fist down on the dashboard which hurts his hand.
 
Kendrick
Fuck!
 
Robert
That will teach you not to hit my car
 
Kendrick
Maybe it will and maybe it will not. But nothing will fix your brain. Who in the monkey fuck comes up with a name like Jaybert?
 
Robert
Maybe his family already had a son named Robert so they moved onto the next best thing which is Jaybert
 
Kendrick
I cannot even compute how stupid that is
 
Robert
I don’t see you trying to guess his name. It’s a guessing game for a reason you know. For the simple fact to win it you have to make guesses. A simple fact you cannot grasp and you call me stupid
 
Kendrick
Because you are
 
Robert
I am not
 
Kendrick
Oh yeah? Here I will point out why you are. You only want to play this game because you want to know his name. Something you could have gotten by just asking the guy what his name is. You just around the easiest way of getting it and came up with an annoying and stupid method that is very annoying
 
Robert
I don’t see you asking him his name
 
Kendrick
I didn’t because I didn’t care but now this so called game has gone on too long. So…
 
Kendrick turns to the man
 
Kendrick
This is Robert the idiot (pointing at Robert) and I am Joey (pointing at himself)
 
Man
Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jimmy?
 
Jimmy
That’s my name
 
Kendrick
Robert guessed Jim and you said no
 
Jimmy
Jim is not Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jim is the short version of Jimmy
 
Jimmy
But it’s not Jimmy
 
Kendrick turns around and stares out the front window
 
Kendrick
I stand corrected, you both are idiots
 
An awkward silence fills the car
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT
Ahma sits down at a tree as Jukka and Jarpi stop in a clearing
 
Jukka
Did you hear that?
 
Jarpi
The rustling?
 
Jukka
Yeah it came from behind us
 
Ahma is behind them against the tree
 
Ahma
Guys it probably was me sitting down
 
Jukka
No it didn’t sound human… It sounded dead
 
Ahma
Do dead things make sounds?
 
Jarpi
They do if they are zombies
 
Jukka
Ahma you stay here as me and Jarpi go scout out the sound
 
Jukka and Jarpi head off in two different directions as Ahma nuzzles up against a tree and closes his eyes. After a few moments screams and gun shots can be heard but it does not wake up Ahma who now is snoring. As the screams die off the rustling sound comes back and is coming closer.
 
INT-LIMO-DAY
The limo is approaching the airport that is guarded by the military. A big crowd of people form near a fence that has a big sign saying “LAST PLANES LEAVING” The crowd is getting angry with the army personnel who refuse to let more into the loading area. William rolls up and pulls down the window
 
William
Big Will coming to see Putin
 
The army guy just nods and waves William through. Vincent looks at the crowd that is filled with families.
 
Vincent
How many people can fit on your plane?
 
William
Does it matter?
 
Vincent
It does if you want to sleep at night
 
William
I sleep quite well on my gold flake pillows actually
 
Vincent
Answer my question
 
William
Let’s just say we won’t be crammed on the plane
 
Vincent
Can we take a few families?
 
William looks at kids crying and mothers pleading the army to let them get onto a plane
 
William
No
 
William speeds off
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is now running alongside the carriage as the zombies are right behind them. Draper and Victor are too busy laughing at Higgins to even care about the Zombies. As Higgins finally dives into the back of the carriage he punches both Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You guys are a bunch of ass hats
 
Victor
I like big butts and I cannot lie
 
Jardy turns around and snaps his fingers then points at Victor
 
Jardy
No! Bad Victor. No signing
 
Jardy turns to Higgins
 
Jardy
You shouldn’t encourage him to sing that song you know how much he loves it
 
As they talk pointlessly about the song the Zombies get even closer
 
Higgins
Oh because our biggest problem is him singing?
 
Jardy
Actually yes, because once he starts he never stops
 
Higgins
What about…
 
The zombies now begin reaching into the carriage which makes Jardy realize the problem that Higgins was pointing out. Jardy quickly reaches under the front seat and pulls out a desert eagle
 
Jardy
Maybe we need ole’ Betsy
 
Jardy kills all six zombies send blood and brain matter all over Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You had a gun all this time and you just now thought to use it?
 
Jardy
I knew we would need it but I wanted to wait till the right time
 
Higgins
Which was?
 
Jardy
Till you guys needed my help and only I could save you
 
Higgins
And now we are covered in blood and shit
 
Jardy
Brains not shit Higgins my dimwitted friend. Brains are in the head and shit is in the butt. I shot them in the head. Besides we are here
 
Higgins
Here?

Jardy
Yes my farm. Where I have yet another surprise
 
INT-GEO-DAY
The car is filled with the awkward silence still as Robert drives. After a few more tense silent moments Jimmy taps Robert on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
I got to piss
 
Robert begins to pull the car over
 
Kendrick
What in the hold moose cocks are you doing?
 
Robert
He needs to piss so I am pulling over so he can relieve himself
 
Kendrick
Why? Why? You have a ton of empty shitty bean cans that he can use
 
Robert
First off that is not sanitary and second that would ruin the patina on the cans. I cannot risk lowering their value
 
Jimmy
I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable
 
Jimmy picks up a can and looks at it
 
Jimmy
Forty two Yanson
 
Robert moans
 
Roberts
That was a good year
 
Jimmy
Some might say the best
 
Robert
I prefer the forty four Hays
 
Jimmy
Oh good argument. I heard after Yanson bought Hays in forty three they repackaged the unsold forty two’s and called them forty fours
 
Robert
Damn I haven’t heard that bean conspiracy. If it’s true then it goes straight to the top. I mean if they used forty two’s in forty four those beans already had a two year cure period thus making them better than the aforementioned forty twos
 
Kendrick smacks his head out of disbelief as the car comes to a full stop
 
Kendrick
If the beans are from forty two the beans packaged in forty two and the beans in forty four are the same beans. Thus making the so called cure period the same. It’s like me putting a Lamborghini logo on this shitty Geo. People will see the logo but we will still know it’s a shitty Geo.
 
Robert
We will know it’s a Geo but not a shitty one
 
Jimmy taps Kendrick on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
Let me out so I can piss
 
Kendrick sighs as he gets out of the Geo
 
Robert
Stay within eye sight so if there is trouble we can go help
 
Kendrick
More like I will go help and you will watch
 
Robert
Someone’s has to supervise
 
Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
Yeah your idiocy
 
Jimmy gets out of the back seat and goes towards the woods. Kendrick stands next to the car keeping an eye on Jimmy.
 
Jimmy
Stop looking at me, I can’t piss
 
Kendrick
No because the second I look away something will happen
 
Jimmy
Yeah me taking a piss
 
Kendrick looks away as Jimmy letting out a groan of pleasure can be heard. But a few seconds later the groans turn into screams. Kendrick looks down to see Jimmy being attacked by a zombie. Kendrick jumps into the Geo
 
Kendrick
DRIVE!
 
Robert
But… but… what about Jimmy?
 
Kendrick
He’s dead so fucking drive already
 
EXT-FOREST-NIGHT
Ahma is snoring louder as the rustling gets closer. The very next second Jarpi runs out of the tall grass yelling
 
Jarpi
Get the fuck up
 
Ahma slowly wakes up and looks around
 
Ahma
Where is the other dude?
 
Jarpi
Jukka is dead the Zombies got him
 
Ahma
But he had all the Porridge
 
Jarpi
LET’S GO!
 
Ahma begins to cry so Jarpi picks him up and puts him over his shoulder then runs off just as Zombies come out from the tall grass.
 
EXT-AIRPORT-DAY

The limo pulls up to a full sized A380 that is guarded by guards in suits. As the group gets out of the limo and head up the ramp.
 
Vincent
You have a fucking A380 and you can’t help those people
 
William
God damn right, more people means more annoyance and more mouths to feed. It’s the survival of the fittest and they aren’t fit.
 
The episode ends with Jardy and the group getting to the farm. Jardy is leading them to the barn to show them something. Kendrick and Robert are in the Geo driving in silence with Jimmy’s dog in the back. Ahma and Jukka are fleeing the zombies and the A380 taking off just as the air force begins the carpet bomb the Las Vegas strip.
 
 

VHLM is a boring league, some might say it's dying. Why not infuse it with some life. AKA ROBBIE FUCKING ZIMMERS. I obviously put my hat in the ring here

VHLM is a boring league, some might say it's dying. Why not infuse it with some life. AKA ROBBIE FUCKING ZIMMERS. I obviously put my hat in the ring here

I would like announce as my first order of business as USA GM I am building a wall around my teams net. Mexico is paying for it. 

EXT-STREET-DAY

The sound of birds, flies and frogs fill the air as we come up to a road that goes through a forest. No person, animal or Zombie can be seen. It is almost too calm. But as we almost get used to the new norm shouting can be heard.
 
@JardyB10
Move faster you fucking Llama’s you are making me look bad
 
@Draper
Maybe Higgins was right
 
Jardy
Don’t you dare speak that man’s name, he’s dead! DEAD I SAY!
 
Higgins now can be seen running from around the corner being chased by a slow moving group of Zombies. Higgins shouts out as he gasps for air
 
@Higgins
Jardy… STOP! Please… I said I was sorry a hundred times
 
Jardy
It was thirty four
 
Higgins stops to catch his breath but then looks behind him to see the Zombies slowing chasing him. So he goes back to slowly jogging towards the carriage that is going slightly faster than him and the zombies.
 
Higgins
Are you seriously counting?
 
Jardy
Yep so if I were you I would start saying your sorries
 
INT-GEO-MORNING

Kendrick is sitting in the passenger seat of the small overly stuffed Geo as Robert drives the car and the new guy and his dog sit in the back.
 
Robert
Let’s play a game
 
Kendrick
Oh god
 
Man
Like what?
 
The dog barks
 
Robert
The name game. Try to guess my name, if you get it we move onto Jo… oops almost said his name. But as I was saying, as soon as you guess my name we move onto my friends name then yours
 
Kendrick
Please no
 
Man
That sounds fun
 
Kendrick
It’s not
 
Robert
You can’t go into the apocalypse with this attitude bud. If you do then you will have a horrible apocalypse and that’s just how I do the end of human kind
 
Kendrick
Oh it’s not?... I’m so fucking sorry that I am ruining your apocalypse there bud. I will try to cheer up for you
 
Kendrick sarcastically smiles
 
Robert
Oh, why thank you. That’s very considerate of you
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma is walking behind the two men who are carrying rifles as Ahma is eating porridge out of an old dirty can they must have found along the road.
 
Ahma
That’s some grade-A porridge
 
Man 1 looks at Man 2
 
Man 1
I’ve never seen someone eat so much porridge
 
Man 2
He’s like the Porridge monster. We need to lose him somehow Jarpi
 
Jarpi
I know Jukka, don’t talk to me like I am a dumb American
 
Jukka laughs
 
Jukka
American’s so stupid
 
Jarpi and Jukka both laugh as an oblivious Ahma eats his Porridge
INT-LIMO-DAY
William is driving down Las Vegas BLVD very fast. Going around cars that are abandoned and on fire. Everyone in the back are holding on for dear life.
 
Vincent
Will you slow the fuck down?
 
William
No! no fucking way. This is the apocalypse and I want to get the fuck out of dodge
 
Vincent
So do we but we need to get out of here ALIVE
 
William
That’s an overrated side objective
 
Vincent
Overrated? Side objective? What in the holy hell are you talking about. If we die in a car crash you cannot live anymore and you become one of them
 
William
If I do… then I do. I will become the master Zombie. But to clarify my previous statement for all you undesirables. I don’t care if you (points at Rick) or you (points at Carl) you (points at the baby) or even you (points at Vincent) die. You are people that I will use to get me to my final objective which is my plane.
 
Vincent
Well that’s not really nice of you
 
William
And it wasn’t really nice of you to bring the two family fuck with us. Rick and his lame jokes almost makes me want to kill them all. Carl so he doesn’t have to hear the jokes anymore, the baby because it’s fucked and Rick because I cannot take another one of those fucking jokes

Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl
No dad
 
Rick
Where did Noah put all the bees?
 
Carl
Please kill me
 
Rick
In the Ark hives
 
Carl
Please
 
Rick
IN THE ARKHIVES CARL! THE ARKHIVES! Where am I getting all this grade-A jokes?
 
Carl
I don’t know…
 
William reaches for a gun that is under the passenger seat and cocks it.
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is still slowly chasing after the carriage as he says sorry over and over
 
Jardy
And that’s one hundred
 
Higgins stops out of celebration
 
Higgins
Ok now let me on
 
Higgins watches as Jardy does not stop
 
Higgins
Jardy? Are you not going to stop?
 
Jardy
I can’t or they will catch up. Do you see a criminal stop in a high speed chase so the cops can catch up?
 
Higgins looks at Jardy then the zombies. Only about twenty yards separate them. Higgins now realizes that Jardy will not stop and the Zombies are getting close to him.
 
Higgins
But Jardy this is not even close to a high speed chase
 
Jardy
A chase is a chase so giddy up higgy
 
Higgins begins to run after the carriage as fast as he can with his tired body. Draper nudges @Victor awake and points at Higgins as he runs. Victor and Draper begin to laugh at Higgins. They now begin to throw things at Higgins in an attempt to hit him.
 
Higgins
What the fuck are you guys doing?
 
Victor
Trying to hit zombies?
 
Higgins
You are aiming at me not them
 
Victor throws an empty beer bottle at Higgins that barely misses him
 
Higgins
Aim higher
 
Jardy
No lower, hit him in the balls
 
Draper
Cold…
 
Victor
Ice
 
Jardy
Ice cold indeed Victor my drunken friend
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
Robert
Is it Jim?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
James?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jason?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jaybert?
 
Kendrick slams his fist down on the dashboard which hurts his hand.
 
Kendrick
Fuck!
 
Robert
That will teach you not to hit my car
 
Kendrick
Maybe it will and maybe it will not. But nothing will fix your brain. Who in the monkey fuck comes up with a name like Jaybert?
 
Robert
Maybe his family already had a son named Robert so they moved onto the next best thing which is Jaybert
 
Kendrick
I cannot even compute how stupid that is
 
Robert
I don’t see you trying to guess his name. It’s a guessing game for a reason you know. For the simple fact to win it you have to make guesses. A simple fact you cannot grasp and you call me stupid
 
Kendrick
Because you are
 
Robert
I am not
 
Kendrick
Oh yeah? Here I will point out why you are. You only want to play this game because you want to know his name. Something you could have gotten by just asking the guy what his name is. You just around the easiest way of getting it and came up with an annoying and stupid method that is very annoying
 
Robert
I don’t see you asking him his name
 
Kendrick
I didn’t because I didn’t care but now this so called game has gone on too long. So…
 
Kendrick turns to the man
 
Kendrick
This is Robert the idiot (pointing at Robert) and I am Joey (pointing at himself)
 
Man
Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jimmy?
 
Jimmy
That’s my name
 
Kendrick
Robert guessed Jim and you said no
 
Jimmy
Jim is not Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jim is the short version of Jimmy
 
Jimmy
But it’s not Jimmy
 
Kendrick turns around and stares out the front window
 
Kendrick
I stand corrected, you both are idiots
 
An awkward silence fills the car
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT
Ahma sits down at a tree as Jukka and Jarpi stop in a clearing
 
Jukka
Did you hear that?
 
Jarpi
The rustling?
 
Jukka
Yeah it came from behind us
 
Ahma is behind them against the tree
 
Ahma
Guys it probably was me sitting down
 
Jukka
No it didn’t sound human… It sounded dead
 
Ahma
Do dead things make sounds?
 
Jarpi
They do if they are zombies
 
Jukka
Ahma you stay here as me and Jarpi go scout out the sound
 
Jukka and Jarpi head off in two different directions as Ahma nuzzles up against a tree and closes his eyes. After a few moments screams and gun shots can be heard but it does not wake up Ahma who now is snoring. As the screams die off the rustling sound comes back and is coming closer.
 
INT-LIMO-DAY
The limo is approaching the airport that is guarded by the military. A big crowd of people form near a fence that has a big sign saying “LAST PLANES LEAVING” The crowd is getting angry with the army personnel who refuse to let more into the loading area. William rolls up and pulls down the window
 
William
Big Will coming to see Putin
 
The army guy just nods and waves William through. Vincent looks at the crowd that is filled with families.
 
Vincent
How many people can fit on your plane?
 
William
Does it matter?
 
Vincent
It does if you want to sleep at night
 
William
I sleep quite well on my gold flake pillows actually
 
Vincent
Answer my question
 
William
Let’s just say we won’t be crammed on the plane
 
Vincent
Can we take a few families?
 
William looks at kids crying and mothers pleading the army to let them get onto a plane
 
William
No
 
William speeds off
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is now running alongside the carriage as the zombies are right behind them. Draper and Victor are too busy laughing at Higgins to even care about the Zombies. As Higgins finally dives into the back of the carriage he punches both Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You guys are a bunch of ass hats
 
Victor
I like big butts and I cannot lie
 
Jardy turns around and snaps his fingers then points at Victor
 
Jardy
No! Bad Victor. No signing
 
Jardy turns to Higgins
 
Jardy
You shouldn’t encourage him to sing that song you know how much he loves it
 
As they talk pointlessly about the song the Zombies get even closer
 
Higgins
Oh because our biggest problem is him singing?
 
Jardy
Actually yes, because once he starts he never stops
 
Higgins
What about…
 
The zombies now begin reaching into the carriage which makes Jardy realize the problem that Higgins was pointing out. Jardy quickly reaches under the front seat and pulls out a desert eagle
 
Jardy
Maybe we need ole’ Betsy
 
Jardy kills all six zombies send blood and brain matter all over Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You had a gun all this time and you just now thought to use it?
 
Jardy
I knew we would need it but I wanted to wait till the right time
 
Higgins
Which was?
 
Jardy
Till you guys needed my help and only I could save you
 
Higgins
And now we are covered in blood and shit
 
Jardy
Brains not shit Higgins my dimwitted friend. Brains are in the head and shit is in the butt. I shot them in the head. Besides we are here
 
Higgins
Here?

Jardy
Yes my farm. Where I have yet another surprise
 
INT-GEO-DAY
The car is filled with the awkward silence still as Robert drives. After a few more tense silent moments Jimmy taps Robert on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
I got to piss
 
Robert begins to pull the car over
 
Kendrick
What in the hold moose cocks are you doing?
 
Robert
He needs to piss so I am pulling over so he can relieve himself
 
Kendrick
Why? Why? You have a ton of empty shitty bean cans that he can use
 
Robert
First off that is not sanitary and second that would ruin the patina on the cans. I cannot risk lowering their value
 
Jimmy
I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable
 
Jimmy picks up a can and looks at it
 
Jimmy
Forty two Yanson
 
Robert moans
 
Roberts
That was a good year
 
Jimmy
Some might say the best
 
Robert
I prefer the forty four Hays
 
Jimmy
Oh good argument. I heard after Yanson bought Hays in forty three they repackaged the unsold forty two’s and called them forty fours
 
Robert
Damn I haven’t heard that bean conspiracy. If it’s true then it goes straight to the top. I mean if they used forty two’s in forty four those beans already had a two year cure period thus making them better than the aforementioned forty twos
 
Kendrick smacks his head out of disbelief as the car comes to a full stop
 
Kendrick
If the beans are from forty two the beans packaged in forty two and the beans in forty four are the same beans. Thus making the so called cure period the same. It’s like me putting a Lamborghini logo on this shitty Geo. People will see the logo but we will still know it’s a shitty Geo.
 
Robert
We will know it’s a Geo but not a shitty one
 
Jimmy taps Kendrick on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
Let me out so I can piss
 
Kendrick sighs as he gets out of the Geo
 
Robert
Stay within eye sight so if there is trouble we can go help
 
Kendrick
More like I will go help and you will watch
 
Robert
Someone’s has to supervise
 
Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
Yeah your idiocy
 
Jimmy gets out of the back seat and goes towards the woods. Kendrick stands next to the car keeping an eye on Jimmy.
 
Jimmy
Stop looking at me, I can’t piss
 
Kendrick
No because the second I look away something will happen
 
Jimmy
Yeah me taking a piss
 
Kendrick looks away as Jimmy letting out a groan of pleasure can be heard. But a few seconds later the groans turn into screams. Kendrick looks down to see Jimmy being attacked by a zombie. Kendrick jumps into the Geo
 
Kendrick
DRIVE!
 
Robert
But… but… what about Jimmy?
 
Kendrick
He’s dead so fucking drive already
 
EXT-FOREST-NIGHT
Ahma is snoring louder as the rustling gets closer. The very next second Jarpi runs out of the tall grass yelling
 
Jarpi
Get the fuck up
 
Ahma slowly wakes up and looks around
 
Ahma
Where is the other dude?
 
Jarpi
Jukka is dead the Zombies got him
 
Ahma
But he had all the Porridge
 
Jarpi
LET’S GO!
 
Ahma begins to cry so Jarpi picks him up and puts him over his shoulder then runs off just as Zombies come out from the tall grass.
 
EXT-AIRPORT-DAY

The limo pulls up to a full sized A380 that is guarded by guards in suits. As the group gets out of the limo and head up the ramp.
 
Vincent
You have a fucking A380 and you can’t help those people
 
William
God damn right, more people means more annoyance and more mouths to feed. It’s the survival of the fittest and they aren’t fit.
 
The episode ends with Jardy and the group getting to the farm. Jardy is leading them to the barn to show them something. Kendrick and Robert are in the Geo driving in silence with Jimmy’s dog in the back. Ahma and Jukka are fleeing the zombies and the A380 taking off just as the air force begins the carpet bomb the Las Vegas strip.
 
 

With the recent success of "Deadly Tide" the network has put in a "stop work order" on "Life in Times" they are calling it a "hold" and not a full on cancel. CEO and executive Robbie Zimmers said "HBO canceled "The Brink" due to not being able to put a full effort into making the show. A show that clearly worked for them and people loved. Hell I loved it. So this isn't the "death" of "Life in Times" it's just going on vacation to fuck a bunch of hookers and do a bunch of coke so when it comes back it can be more fucked and coked up. Till that time we will be bringing in a new show called "The Front" to give this new show a chance the mid season finale of "Deadly Tide" will air tomorrow. Deadly tide will return May 25th"
 
"The Front" is hailed as a "fucked up version of 24 but a pinch of Austin Powers. It is about a wannabe secret agent named Jardy Bunk trying to save the world from a evil mastermind Roberto Zims. Jardy must come up with a plan with his ragtag team of government employee's in the Sanitation Department to "Take out the trash" Will Jardy be able to stop Roberto? find out starting next week"

EXT-STREET-DAY

The sound of birds, flies and frogs fill the air as we come up to a road that goes through a forest. No person, animal or Zombie can be seen. It is almost too calm. But as we almost get used to the new norm shouting can be heard.
 
@JardyB10
Move faster you fucking Llama’s you are making me look bad
 
@Draper
Maybe Higgins was right
 
Jardy
Don’t you dare speak that man’s name, he’s dead! DEAD I SAY!
 
Higgins now can be seen running from around the corner being chased by a slow moving group of Zombies. Higgins shouts out as he gasps for air
 
@Higgins
Jardy… STOP! Please… I said I was sorry a hundred times
 
Jardy
It was thirty four
 
Higgins stops to catch his breath but then looks behind him to see the Zombies slowing chasing him. So he goes back to slowly jogging towards the carriage that is going slightly faster than him and the zombies.
 
Higgins
Are you seriously counting?
 
Jardy
Yep so if I were you I would start saying your sorries
 
INT-GEO-MORNING

Kendrick is sitting in the passenger seat of the small overly stuffed Geo as Robert drives the car and the new guy and his dog sit in the back.
 
Robert
Let’s play a game
 
Kendrick
Oh god
 
Man
Like what?
 
The dog barks
 
Robert
The name game. Try to guess my name, if you get it we move onto Jo… oops almost said his name. But as I was saying, as soon as you guess my name we move onto my friends name then yours
 
Kendrick
Please no
 
Man
That sounds fun
 
Kendrick
It’s not
 
Robert
You can’t go into the apocalypse with this attitude bud. If you do then you will have a horrible apocalypse and that’s just how I do the end of human kind
 
Kendrick
Oh it’s not?... I’m so fucking sorry that I am ruining your apocalypse there bud. I will try to cheer up for you
 
Kendrick sarcastically smiles
 
Robert
Oh, why thank you. That’s very considerate of you
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma is walking behind the two men who are carrying rifles as Ahma is eating porridge out of an old dirty can they must have found along the road.
 
Ahma
That’s some grade-A porridge
 
Man 1 looks at Man 2
 
Man 1
I’ve never seen someone eat so much porridge
 
Man 2
He’s like the Porridge monster. We need to lose him somehow Jarpi
 
Jarpi
I know Jukka, don’t talk to me like I am a dumb American
 
Jukka laughs
 
Jukka
American’s so stupid
 
Jarpi and Jukka both laugh as an oblivious Ahma eats his Porridge
INT-LIMO-DAY
William is driving down Las Vegas BLVD very fast. Going around cars that are abandoned and on fire. Everyone in the back are holding on for dear life.
 
Vincent
Will you slow the fuck down?
 
William
No! no fucking way. This is the apocalypse and I want to get the fuck out of dodge
 
Vincent
So do we but we need to get out of here ALIVE
 
William
That’s an overrated side objective
 
Vincent
Overrated? Side objective? What in the holy hell are you talking about. If we die in a car crash you cannot live anymore and you become one of them
 
William
If I do… then I do. I will become the master Zombie. But to clarify my previous statement for all you undesirables. I don’t care if you (points at Rick) or you (points at Carl) you (points at the baby) or even you (points at Vincent) die. You are people that I will use to get me to my final objective which is my plane.
 
Vincent
Well that’s not really nice of you
 
William
And it wasn’t really nice of you to bring the two family fuck with us. Rick and his lame jokes almost makes me want to kill them all. Carl so he doesn’t have to hear the jokes anymore, the baby because it’s fucked and Rick because I cannot take another one of those fucking jokes

Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl
No dad
 
Rick
Where did Noah put all the bees?
 
Carl
Please kill me
 
Rick
In the Ark hives
 
Carl
Please
 
Rick
IN THE ARKHIVES CARL! THE ARKHIVES! Where am I getting all this grade-A jokes?
 
Carl
I don’t know…
 
William reaches for a gun that is under the passenger seat and cocks it.
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is still slowly chasing after the carriage as he says sorry over and over
 
Jardy
And that’s one hundred
 
Higgins stops out of celebration
 
Higgins
Ok now let me on
 
Higgins watches as Jardy does not stop
 
Higgins
Jardy? Are you not going to stop?
 
Jardy
I can’t or they will catch up. Do you see a criminal stop in a high speed chase so the cops can catch up?
 
Higgins looks at Jardy then the zombies. Only about twenty yards separate them. Higgins now realizes that Jardy will not stop and the Zombies are getting close to him.
 
Higgins
But Jardy this is not even close to a high speed chase
 
Jardy
A chase is a chase so giddy up higgy
 
Higgins begins to run after the carriage as fast as he can with his tired body. Draper nudges @Victor awake and points at Higgins as he runs. Victor and Draper begin to laugh at Higgins. They now begin to throw things at Higgins in an attempt to hit him.
 
Higgins
What the fuck are you guys doing?
 
Victor
Trying to hit zombies?
 
Higgins
You are aiming at me not them
 
Victor throws an empty beer bottle at Higgins that barely misses him
 
Higgins
Aim higher
 
Jardy
No lower, hit him in the balls
 
Draper
Cold…
 
Victor
Ice
 
Jardy
Ice cold indeed Victor my drunken friend
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
Robert
Is it Jim?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
James?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jason?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jaybert?
 
Kendrick slams his fist down on the dashboard which hurts his hand.
 
Kendrick
Fuck!
 
Robert
That will teach you not to hit my car
 
Kendrick
Maybe it will and maybe it will not. But nothing will fix your brain. Who in the monkey fuck comes up with a name like Jaybert?
 
Robert
Maybe his family already had a son named Robert so they moved onto the next best thing which is Jaybert
 
Kendrick
I cannot even compute how stupid that is
 
Robert
I don’t see you trying to guess his name. It’s a guessing game for a reason you know. For the simple fact to win it you have to make guesses. A simple fact you cannot grasp and you call me stupid
 
Kendrick
Because you are
 
Robert
I am not
 
Kendrick
Oh yeah? Here I will point out why you are. You only want to play this game because you want to know his name. Something you could have gotten by just asking the guy what his name is. You just around the easiest way of getting it and came up with an annoying and stupid method that is very annoying
 
Robert
I don’t see you asking him his name
 
Kendrick
I didn’t because I didn’t care but now this so called game has gone on too long. So…
 
Kendrick turns to the man
 
Kendrick
This is Robert the idiot (pointing at Robert) and I am Joey (pointing at himself)
 
Man
Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jimmy?
 
Jimmy
That’s my name
 
Kendrick
Robert guessed Jim and you said no
 
Jimmy
Jim is not Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jim is the short version of Jimmy
 
Jimmy
But it’s not Jimmy
 
Kendrick turns around and stares out the front window
 
Kendrick
I stand corrected, you both are idiots
 
An awkward silence fills the car
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT
Ahma sits down at a tree as Jukka and Jarpi stop in a clearing
 
Jukka
Did you hear that?
 
Jarpi
The rustling?
 
Jukka
Yeah it came from behind us
 
Ahma is behind them against the tree
 
Ahma
Guys it probably was me sitting down
 
Jukka
No it didn’t sound human… It sounded dead
 
Ahma
Do dead things make sounds?
 
Jarpi
They do if they are zombies
 
Jukka
Ahma you stay here as me and Jarpi go scout out the sound
 
Jukka and Jarpi head off in two different directions as Ahma nuzzles up against a tree and closes his eyes. After a few moments screams and gun shots can be heard but it does not wake up Ahma who now is snoring. As the screams die off the rustling sound comes back and is coming closer.
 
INT-LIMO-DAY
The limo is approaching the airport that is guarded by the military. A big crowd of people form near a fence that has a big sign saying “LAST PLANES LEAVING” The crowd is getting angry with the army personnel who refuse to let more into the loading area. William rolls up and pulls down the window
 
William
Big Will coming to see Putin
 
The army guy just nods and waves William through. Vincent looks at the crowd that is filled with families.
 
Vincent
How many people can fit on your plane?
 
William
Does it matter?
 
Vincent
It does if you want to sleep at night
 
William
I sleep quite well on my gold flake pillows actually
 
Vincent
Answer my question
 
William
Let’s just say we won’t be crammed on the plane
 
Vincent
Can we take a few families?
 
William looks at kids crying and mothers pleading the army to let them get onto a plane
 
William
No
 
William speeds off
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is now running alongside the carriage as the zombies are right behind them. Draper and Victor are too busy laughing at Higgins to even care about the Zombies. As Higgins finally dives into the back of the carriage he punches both Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You guys are a bunch of ass hats
 
Victor
I like big butts and I cannot lie
 
Jardy turns around and snaps his fingers then points at Victor
 
Jardy
No! Bad Victor. No signing
 
Jardy turns to Higgins
 
Jardy
You shouldn’t encourage him to sing that song you know how much he loves it
 
As they talk pointlessly about the song the Zombies get even closer
 
Higgins
Oh because our biggest problem is him singing?
 
Jardy
Actually yes, because once he starts he never stops
 
Higgins
What about…
 
The zombies now begin reaching into the carriage which makes Jardy realize the problem that Higgins was pointing out. Jardy quickly reaches under the front seat and pulls out a desert eagle
 
Jardy
Maybe we need ole’ Betsy
 
Jardy kills all six zombies send blood and brain matter all over Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You had a gun all this time and you just now thought to use it?
 
Jardy
I knew we would need it but I wanted to wait till the right time
 
Higgins
Which was?
 
Jardy
Till you guys needed my help and only I could save you
 
Higgins
And now we are covered in blood and shit
 
Jardy
Brains not shit Higgins my dimwitted friend. Brains are in the head and shit is in the butt. I shot them in the head. Besides we are here
 
Higgins
Here?

Jardy
Yes my farm. Where I have yet another surprise
 
INT-GEO-DAY
The car is filled with the awkward silence still as Robert drives. After a few more tense silent moments Jimmy taps Robert on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
I got to piss
 
Robert begins to pull the car over
 
Kendrick
What in the hold moose cocks are you doing?
 
Robert
He needs to piss so I am pulling over so he can relieve himself
 
Kendrick
Why? Why? You have a ton of empty shitty bean cans that he can use
 
Robert
First off that is not sanitary and second that would ruin the patina on the cans. I cannot risk lowering their value
 
Jimmy
I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable
 
Jimmy picks up a can and looks at it
 
Jimmy
Forty two Yanson
 
Robert moans
 
Roberts
That was a good year
 
Jimmy
Some might say the best
 
Robert
I prefer the forty four Hays
 
Jimmy
Oh good argument. I heard after Yanson bought Hays in forty three they repackaged the unsold forty two’s and called them forty fours
 
Robert
Damn I haven’t heard that bean conspiracy. If it’s true then it goes straight to the top. I mean if they used forty two’s in forty four those beans already had a two year cure period thus making them better than the aforementioned forty twos
 
Kendrick smacks his head out of disbelief as the car comes to a full stop
 
Kendrick
If the beans are from forty two the beans packaged in forty two and the beans in forty four are the same beans. Thus making the so called cure period the same. It’s like me putting a Lamborghini logo on this shitty Geo. People will see the logo but we will still know it’s a shitty Geo.
 
Robert
We will know it’s a Geo but not a shitty one
 
Jimmy taps Kendrick on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
Let me out so I can piss
 
Kendrick sighs as he gets out of the Geo
 
Robert
Stay within eye sight so if there is trouble we can go help
 
Kendrick
More like I will go help and you will watch
 
Robert
Someone’s has to supervise
 
Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
Yeah your idiocy
 
Jimmy gets out of the back seat and goes towards the woods. Kendrick stands next to the car keeping an eye on Jimmy.
 
Jimmy
Stop looking at me, I can’t piss
 
Kendrick
No because the second I look away something will happen
 
Jimmy
Yeah me taking a piss
 
Kendrick looks away as Jimmy letting out a groan of pleasure can be heard. But a few seconds later the groans turn into screams. Kendrick looks down to see Jimmy being attacked by a zombie. Kendrick jumps into the Geo
 
Kendrick
DRIVE!
 
Robert
But… but… what about Jimmy?
 
Kendrick
He’s dead so fucking drive already
 
EXT-FOREST-NIGHT
Ahma is snoring louder as the rustling gets closer. The very next second Jarpi runs out of the tall grass yelling
 
Jarpi
Get the fuck up
 
Ahma slowly wakes up and looks around
 
Ahma
Where is the other dude?
 
Jarpi
Jukka is dead the Zombies got him
 
Ahma
But he had all the Porridge
 
Jarpi
LET’S GO!
 
Ahma begins to cry so Jarpi picks him up and puts him over his shoulder then runs off just as Zombies come out from the tall grass.
 
EXT-AIRPORT-DAY

The limo pulls up to a full sized A380 that is guarded by guards in suits. As the group gets out of the limo and head up the ramp.
 
Vincent
You have a fucking A380 and you can’t help those people
 
William
God damn right, more people means more annoyance and more mouths to feed. It’s the survival of the fittest and they aren’t fit.
 
The episode ends with Jardy and the group getting to the farm. Jardy is leading them to the barn to show them something. Kendrick and Robert are in the Geo driving in silence with Jimmy’s dog in the back. Ahma and Jukka are fleeing the zombies and the A380 taking off just as the air force begins the carpet bomb the Las Vegas strip.
 
 

EXT-STREET-DAY

The sound of birds, flies and frogs fill the air as we come up to a road that goes through a forest. No person, animal or Zombie can be seen. It is almost too calm. But as we almost get used to the new norm shouting can be heard.
 
@JardyB10
Move faster you fucking Llama’s you are making me look bad
 
@Draper
Maybe Higgins was right
 
Jardy
Don’t you dare speak that man’s name, he’s dead! DEAD I SAY!
 
Higgins now can be seen running from around the corner being chased by a slow moving group of Zombies. Higgins shouts out as he gasps for air
 
@Higgins
Jardy… STOP! Please… I said I was sorry a hundred times
 
Jardy
It was thirty four
 
Higgins stops to catch his breath but then looks behind him to see the Zombies slowing chasing him. So he goes back to slowly jogging towards the carriage that is going slightly faster than him and the zombies.
 
Higgins
Are you seriously counting?
 
Jardy
Yep so if I were you I would start saying your sorries
 
INT-GEO-MORNING

Kendrick is sitting in the passenger seat of the small overly stuffed Geo as Robert drives the car and the new guy and his dog sit in the back.
 
Robert
Let’s play a game
 
Kendrick
Oh god
 
Man
Like what?
 
The dog barks
 
Robert
The name game. Try to guess my name, if you get it we move onto Jo… oops almost said his name. But as I was saying, as soon as you guess my name we move onto my friends name then yours
 
Kendrick
Please no
 
Man
That sounds fun
 
Kendrick
It’s not
 
Robert
You can’t go into the apocalypse with this attitude bud. If you do then you will have a horrible apocalypse and that’s just how I do the end of human kind
 
Kendrick
Oh it’s not?... I’m so fucking sorry that I am ruining your apocalypse there bud. I will try to cheer up for you
 
Kendrick sarcastically smiles
 
Robert
Oh, why thank you. That’s very considerate of you
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma is walking behind the two men who are carrying rifles as Ahma is eating porridge out of an old dirty can they must have found along the road.
 
Ahma
That’s some grade-A porridge
 
Man 1 looks at Man 2
 
Man 1
I’ve never seen someone eat so much porridge
 
Man 2
He’s like the Porridge monster. We need to lose him somehow Jarpi
 
Jarpi
I know Jukka, don’t talk to me like I am a dumb American
 
Jukka laughs
 
Jukka
American’s so stupid
 
Jarpi and Jukka both laugh as an oblivious Ahma eats his Porridge
INT-LIMO-DAY
William is driving down Las Vegas BLVD very fast. Going around cars that are abandoned and on fire. Everyone in the back are holding on for dear life.
 
Vincent
Will you slow the fuck down?
 
William
No! no fucking way. This is the apocalypse and I want to get the fuck out of dodge
 
Vincent
So do we but we need to get out of here ALIVE
 
William
That’s an overrated side objective
 
Vincent
Overrated? Side objective? What in the holy hell are you talking about. If we die in a car crash you cannot live anymore and you become one of them
 
William
If I do… then I do. I will become the master Zombie. But to clarify my previous statement for all you undesirables. I don’t care if you (points at Rick) or you (points at Carl) you (points at the baby) or even you (points at Vincent) die. You are people that I will use to get me to my final objective which is my plane.
 
Vincent
Well that’s not really nice of you
 
William
And it wasn’t really nice of you to bring the two family fuck with us. Rick and his lame jokes almost makes me want to kill them all. Carl so he doesn’t have to hear the jokes anymore, the baby because it’s fucked and Rick because I cannot take another one of those fucking jokes

Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl
No dad
 
Rick
Where did Noah put all the bees?
 
Carl
Please kill me
 
Rick
In the Ark hives
 
Carl
Please
 
Rick
IN THE ARKHIVES CARL! THE ARKHIVES! Where am I getting all this grade-A jokes?
 
Carl
I don’t know…
 
William reaches for a gun that is under the passenger seat and cocks it.
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is still slowly chasing after the carriage as he says sorry over and over
 
Jardy
And that’s one hundred
 
Higgins stops out of celebration
 
Higgins
Ok now let me on
 
Higgins watches as Jardy does not stop
 
Higgins
Jardy? Are you not going to stop?
 
Jardy
I can’t or they will catch up. Do you see a criminal stop in a high speed chase so the cops can catch up?
 
Higgins looks at Jardy then the zombies. Only about twenty yards separate them. Higgins now realizes that Jardy will not stop and the Zombies are getting close to him.
 
Higgins
But Jardy this is not even close to a high speed chase
 
Jardy
A chase is a chase so giddy up higgy
 
Higgins begins to run after the carriage as fast as he can with his tired body. Draper nudges @Victor awake and points at Higgins as he runs. Victor and Draper begin to laugh at Higgins. They now begin to throw things at Higgins in an attempt to hit him.
 
Higgins
What the fuck are you guys doing?
 
Victor
Trying to hit zombies?
 
Higgins
You are aiming at me not them
 
Victor throws an empty beer bottle at Higgins that barely misses him
 
Higgins
Aim higher
 
Jardy
No lower, hit him in the balls
 
Draper
Cold…
 
Victor
Ice
 
Jardy
Ice cold indeed Victor my drunken friend
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
Robert
Is it Jim?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
James?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jason?
 
Man
No
 
Robert
Jaybert?
 
Kendrick slams his fist down on the dashboard which hurts his hand.
 
Kendrick
Fuck!
 
Robert
That will teach you not to hit my car
 
Kendrick
Maybe it will and maybe it will not. But nothing will fix your brain. Who in the monkey fuck comes up with a name like Jaybert?
 
Robert
Maybe his family already had a son named Robert so they moved onto the next best thing which is Jaybert
 
Kendrick
I cannot even compute how stupid that is
 
Robert
I don’t see you trying to guess his name. It’s a guessing game for a reason you know. For the simple fact to win it you have to make guesses. A simple fact you cannot grasp and you call me stupid
 
Kendrick
Because you are
 
Robert
I am not
 
Kendrick
Oh yeah? Here I will point out why you are. You only want to play this game because you want to know his name. Something you could have gotten by just asking the guy what his name is. You just around the easiest way of getting it and came up with an annoying and stupid method that is very annoying
 
Robert
I don’t see you asking him his name
 
Kendrick
I didn’t because I didn’t care but now this so called game has gone on too long. So…
 
Kendrick turns to the man
 
Kendrick
This is Robert the idiot (pointing at Robert) and I am Joey (pointing at himself)
 
Man
Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jimmy?
 
Jimmy
That’s my name
 
Kendrick
Robert guessed Jim and you said no
 
Jimmy
Jim is not Jimmy
 
Kendrick
Jim is the short version of Jimmy
 
Jimmy
But it’s not Jimmy
 
Kendrick turns around and stares out the front window
 
Kendrick
I stand corrected, you both are idiots
 
An awkward silence fills the car
 
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT
Ahma sits down at a tree as Jukka and Jarpi stop in a clearing
 
Jukka
Did you hear that?
 
Jarpi
The rustling?
 
Jukka
Yeah it came from behind us
 
Ahma is behind them against the tree
 
Ahma
Guys it probably was me sitting down
 
Jukka
No it didn’t sound human… It sounded dead
 
Ahma
Do dead things make sounds?
 
Jarpi
They do if they are zombies
 
Jukka
Ahma you stay here as me and Jarpi go scout out the sound
 
Jukka and Jarpi head off in two different directions as Ahma nuzzles up against a tree and closes his eyes. After a few moments screams and gun shots can be heard but it does not wake up Ahma who now is snoring. As the screams die off the rustling sound comes back and is coming closer.
 
INT-LIMO-DAY
The limo is approaching the airport that is guarded by the military. A big crowd of people form near a fence that has a big sign saying “LAST PLANES LEAVING” The crowd is getting angry with the army personnel who refuse to let more into the loading area. William rolls up and pulls down the window
 
William
Big Will coming to see Putin
 
The army guy just nods and waves William through. Vincent looks at the crowd that is filled with families.
 
Vincent
How many people can fit on your plane?
 
William
Does it matter?
 
Vincent
It does if you want to sleep at night
 
William
I sleep quite well on my gold flake pillows actually
 
Vincent
Answer my question
 
William
Let’s just say we won’t be crammed on the plane
 
Vincent
Can we take a few families?
 
William looks at kids crying and mothers pleading the army to let them get onto a plane
 
William
No
 
William speeds off
 
EXT-STREET-DAY
Higgins is now running alongside the carriage as the zombies are right behind them. Draper and Victor are too busy laughing at Higgins to even care about the Zombies. As Higgins finally dives into the back of the carriage he punches both Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You guys are a bunch of ass hats
 
Victor
I like big butts and I cannot lie
 
Jardy turns around and snaps his fingers then points at Victor
 
Jardy
No! Bad Victor. No signing
 
Jardy turns to Higgins
 
Jardy
You shouldn’t encourage him to sing that song you know how much he loves it
 
As they talk pointlessly about the song the Zombies get even closer
 
Higgins
Oh because our biggest problem is him singing?
 
Jardy
Actually yes, because once he starts he never stops
 
Higgins
What about…
 
The zombies now begin reaching into the carriage which makes Jardy realize the problem that Higgins was pointing out. Jardy quickly reaches under the front seat and pulls out a desert eagle
 
Jardy
Maybe we need ole’ Betsy
 
Jardy kills all six zombies send blood and brain matter all over Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Higgins
You had a gun all this time and you just now thought to use it?
 
Jardy
I knew we would need it but I wanted to wait till the right time
 
Higgins
Which was?
 
Jardy
Till you guys needed my help and only I could save you
 
Higgins
And now we are covered in blood and shit
 
Jardy
Brains not shit Higgins my dimwitted friend. Brains are in the head and shit is in the butt. I shot them in the head. Besides we are here
 
Higgins
Here?

Jardy
Yes my farm. Where I have yet another surprise
 
INT-GEO-DAY
The car is filled with the awkward silence still as Robert drives. After a few more tense silent moments Jimmy taps Robert on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
I got to piss
 
Robert begins to pull the car over
 
Kendrick
What in the hold moose cocks are you doing?
 
Robert
He needs to piss so I am pulling over so he can relieve himself
 
Kendrick
Why? Why? You have a ton of empty shitty bean cans that he can use
 
Robert
First off that is not sanitary and second that would ruin the patina on the cans. I cannot risk lowering their value
 
Jimmy
I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable
 
Jimmy picks up a can and looks at it
 
Jimmy
Forty two Yanson
 
Robert moans
 
Roberts
That was a good year
 
Jimmy
Some might say the best
 
Robert
I prefer the forty four Hays
 
Jimmy
Oh good argument. I heard after Yanson bought Hays in forty three they repackaged the unsold forty two’s and called them forty fours
 
Robert
Damn I haven’t heard that bean conspiracy. If it’s true then it goes straight to the top. I mean if they used forty two’s in forty four those beans already had a two year cure period thus making them better than the aforementioned forty twos
 
Kendrick smacks his head out of disbelief as the car comes to a full stop
 
Kendrick
If the beans are from forty two the beans packaged in forty two and the beans in forty four are the same beans. Thus making the so called cure period the same. It’s like me putting a Lamborghini logo on this shitty Geo. People will see the logo but we will still know it’s a shitty Geo.
 
Robert
We will know it’s a Geo but not a shitty one
 
Jimmy taps Kendrick on the shoulder
 
Jimmy
Let me out so I can piss
 
Kendrick sighs as he gets out of the Geo
 
Robert
Stay within eye sight so if there is trouble we can go help
 
Kendrick
More like I will go help and you will watch
 
Robert
Someone’s has to supervise
 
Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
Yeah your idiocy
 
Jimmy gets out of the back seat and goes towards the woods. Kendrick stands next to the car keeping an eye on Jimmy.
 
Jimmy
Stop looking at me, I can’t piss
 
Kendrick
No because the second I look away something will happen
 
Jimmy
Yeah me taking a piss
 
Kendrick looks away as Jimmy letting out a groan of pleasure can be heard. But a few seconds later the groans turn into screams. Kendrick looks down to see Jimmy being attacked by a zombie. Kendrick jumps into the Geo
 
Kendrick
DRIVE!
 
Robert
But… but… what about Jimmy?
 
Kendrick
He’s dead so fucking drive already
 
EXT-FOREST-NIGHT
Ahma is snoring louder as the rustling gets closer. The very next second Jarpi runs out of the tall grass yelling
 
Jarpi
Get the fuck up
 
Ahma slowly wakes up and looks around
 
Ahma
Where is the other dude?
 
Jarpi
Jukka is dead the Zombies got him
 
Ahma
But he had all the Porridge
 
Jarpi
LET’S GO!
 
Ahma begins to cry so Jarpi picks him up and puts him over his shoulder then runs off just as Zombies come out from the tall grass.
 
EXT-AIRPORT-DAY

The limo pulls up to a full sized A380 that is guarded by guards in suits. As the group gets out of the limo and head up the ramp.
 
Vincent
You have a fucking A380 and you can’t help those people
 
William
God damn right, more people means more annoyance and more mouths to feed. It’s the survival of the fittest and they aren’t fit.
 
The episode ends with Jardy and the group getting to the farm. Jardy is leading them to the barn to show them something. Kendrick and Robert are in the Geo driving in silence with Jimmy’s dog in the back. Ahma and Jukka are fleeing the zombies and the A380 taking off just as the air force begins the carpet bomb the Las Vegas strip.
 
 

#MAKEVHLMGREATAGAIN #BUILDAWALL

You will learn young padawan

Be it Llama's or horses you won't go far on 3 and  a half wheels. But hey you got the first ban of the apocalypse

INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING

We look across an eerily quiet casino. Not even employees or even looters are in the place. Poker tables and other gaming tables are overturned with casino chips are strewn all over. The sound of the elevator arriving can be heard. We now see William, Vincent, Rick and Carl who is carrying the baby walk out of the elevator. While everyone is looking for any dangers that may lurk in the now quiet casino William strays away from the group and walks to a roulette table that is still standing. Vincent turns around to make sure everyone is staying together. He sees that William has wondered off
 
Vincent
God damn it
 
Rick turns around and looks to make sure Carl is still with him.
 
Rick
That guy will just weigh us down, let’s just go to his plane and take it
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
I wish it was that easy, but the guy who has the plane will not leave him behind. They are like brothers from different mother
 
Rick
Another
 
Vincent looks oddly at Rick
 
Vincent
Excuse me?
 
Rick
It’s Brothers from another mother
 
Vincent rolls his eyes
 
Vincent
No, that’s only if you saying it in the singular not plural
 
Rick
What are you a fucking English teacher?
 
Vincent
No I play hockey
 
Rick
Hockey? You’re fucked
 
Vincent finally spots William who now has found the bar and is grabbing all the booze he can carry.
 
Vincent
William! Let’s go!
 
William
No! I have to do something
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick watches on as the figure nears him. He begins to look for something that he can use to defend himself if the person is hostile. As the figure gets just a few feet away Kendrick grabs a water bottle from the nearest rack and gets ready to swing. The figure enters a patch of natural light where Kendrick can see that it’s just a man in pain. The man looks at Kendrick then the bottle in his hand
 
Man
Were you going to hit me with that?
 
Kendrick looks at the bottle
 
Kendrick
This? No… I was uh… thirsty
 
Man
Bullshit! I think you wanted to cold cock me with it
 
Kendrick
Why would I do that?
 
Man
You may think I was one of them
 
Kendrick
Them? I was just watching… uh a movie
 
Man
Wow
 
Kendrick
What?
 
Man
I didn’t think anyone went to the movies anymore since people just downloaded movies now. I hope it was something good and not a movie like Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
 
Kendrick
What if it was?
 
Man
Then I would call you a homo
 
Kendrick shakes off the odd comment
 
Kendrick
Ok enough of that shit, tell me what’s going on
 
Man
Zombies
 
Kendrick
Is that a new movie?
 
Man
No! There are actual real zombies out there and people are running scared
 
Kendrick puts two and two together and steps away from the man
 
Kendrick
Um… why were you groaning? Did they get you?
 
Man
NO! I was hungry and I ate way too much popcorn
 
EXT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Jardy is leading the group out of the building. The parking lot is full of abandoned cars but a carriage is parked right in front with four Llama’s attached to it. @JardyB10 enthusiastically hops onto the carriage and looks down at Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Jardy
Let’s go guys
 
@Higginsstands there in amazement at what he is seeing
 
Higgins
Are we really getting into that? You do know there are cars here we can take
 
Jardy
Llama power all the way baby, we will be laughing in a week’s time when all the survivors cars run out of gas
 
@Victorsmashes an empty bottle down on the ground and hops on
 
Victor
Going to sleep boys
 
@Draper
Where will we sit if you lay down in the back?
Victor
Voctor go to sleep
 
Victor lays down and goes to sleep
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is now out of the net but is now tied to a rock. A rock that he can easily lift up and get untied. Ahma looks at the fire in front of him almost hypnotized by it. As the man from before walks up to him
 
Man
What’s wrong with you?
 
Ahma looks around then back at him
 
Ahma
Me?
 
Man
Um yes you
 
Ahma
I’m Finnish…
 
Man
That explains everything
 
Ahma shakes his head
 
Ahma
I wasn’t finished. I was going to say that since I am Finnish there is nothing wrong with me. But… well… I haven’t been the same since Liz left
 
Man
That’s nice I don’t care about your life story
 
Ahma keeps talking like he doesn’t even notice the guy is speaking
 
Ahma
It’s like why did she leave? I gave her a great little setup and she loved it. But I left the door open and she left me alone to my drinking problems.
 
Man
That’s not your only problem
 
Ahma keeps talking almost like he is talking to himself
 
Ahma
Now I have been living off the land because I need to find Liz or I will lose all purpose in life. I might as well feed myself to the zombies
 
Man
You truly are a sad little guy
 
Ahma bursts into tears
 
Ahma
LIZ! Where are you girl? Daddy needs you!
 
INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING
William is standing at a roulette table putting all on Red Twelve with what appears to be all the chips that were inside the casino. He motions Vincent to spin the wheel. Vincent sighs and spins it. The ball lands on Black eleven.
 
William
Again
 
Vincent
You know you can just take the chips. You can say you nailed it we won’t tell anyone that you didn’t
 
William
That would be a lie now wouldn’t it. I need it to hit Red Twelve now spin the god damn wheel
 
Vincent spins the wheel while sighing
 
Rick
You know he is like a little kid, you need occupy his mind with something else so he doesn’t just fuck off and do something stupid.
 
Vincent looks at Rick not pleased
 
Vincent
Look, I appreciate you trying to help me but William is a bit more complex than your little kid
 
Rick
Oh yeah? Watch this
 
Rick gets down on one knee and looks at Carl
 
Rick
I couldn’t get my seat belt on in the car Carl
 
Carl
Not this again…
 
Rick
But then it clicked
 
Carl
We don’t have a car dad you gambled it away
 

 
Rick
It clicked Carl, it CLICKED!
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Vincent
How will that even help me?
 
Rick now crying as he is laughing as he looks at Vincent
 
Rick
IT CLICKED!
 
Rick begins to roll around laughing as the ball lands on Black Eleven yet again
 
William
GOD DAMN IT!
 
Vincent
Just make your bet eleven
 
William glares at Vincent
 
William
Would it be Red Twelve?
 
Vincent
No
 
William
Then shut up and spin
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the man are now sitting at a table as they talk. The man is now eating a big at burger as Kendrick is trying to understand what the man is saying
 
Kendrick
So the whole world is fucked?
 
Man
Yep!
 
As the man speaks he spit food from his mouth. Kendrick wipes food off his face
Kendrick
I can’t believe I am saying this but its best we stick together
 
Man
I agree. You with your survival skills and me with my uh… unique skill set we make an unstoppable team
 
Kendrick sits there annoyed
 
Kendrick
Yeah unless you eat popcorn
 
Man
What?
 
Kendrick
Never mind
 
The guy goes back to basically inhaling his burger as Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
What’s your special skill? Eating?
 
Man
Its many things, but you need to teach me the survival skill bro
 
Kendrick
How do you even know I am good at survival?
 
Man
The way you grabbed the bottle at the last second. That was your survival instinct
 
Kendrick
More like grabbing the nearest thing
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Higgins and Draper sit on top of a passed out Victor as Jardy who seems to be in his own world as he drives the carriage.
 
Higgins
Where are we going?
 
Jardy
Somewhere safe
 
Higgins
Like?
 
Jardy
You’ll see
 
Higgins
Will there be a car there? This is a bit stupid
 
Cars are passing them on the road honking at them and yelling at them things like “Idiot’s” “who fucking uses a carriage anymore?”
 
Draper
Higgins shut up already. I think we should sit back and assess the situation. We at least we have this. It’s better than walking
 
Jardy
See that’s why Draper runs the league and you just show up to keep up the appearance. He thinks outside the box. You think inside the box which sucks in the new reality
 
Higgins
Which is?
 
Jardy
The Zombie apocalypse of course
 
Higgins
Oh because you are so much better suited to survive? You couldn’t even stick around to run the league. All you can do is make those stupid drive casts
 
Jardy
That reminds me
 
Jardy pulls out his phone and turns on the camera.
 
Jardy
And we’re rolling
 
Higgins
Turn that shit off
 
Jardy
Hello VHL, how is your zombie apocalypse going? We league minds have gotten away on our three and a half wheel Llama Carriage.
 
Higgins
Half wheel?
 
Jardy
Yep! One wheel is half the size of the rest
 
Higgins
This officially is the worst idea in the history of me knowing you
 
Jardy
Nope! Not perma banning Robbie was probably worst
 
Higgins thinks for a second
 
Higgins
Fucking Robbie
 
Jardy
Yeah I hope the zombies got him
 
Higgins
Don’t wish that
 
Jardy
Why? It’s Robbie. Are you a Robbie lover?
 
Higgins
No because if you think he was bad living imagine how bad he is as a Zombie
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is sobbing now as the man is now trying to calm him down
 
Man
Look if Liz is out there you will find her
 
Ahma
But what if she isn’t
 
Man
Then she isn’t but she would want you to move on and not cry
 
The other man can be heard burping from the lizard he just ate as Ahma wipes away tears from his face
 
Ahma
You really think so?
 
Man
I know so
 
Ahma
How? Are you a lizard expert?
 
Man
No, but lizards are fucking stupid and they don’t give a fuck
 
Ahma tries to collect himself then motions towards the rock he is tied to
 
Ahma
Can you untie me now? I am ready to move on
 
The man turns around and walks away
 
Man
Untie yourself
 
Ahma
How?
 
Man
Stand up and the rope will fall off
 
INT-CASINO-MORNING
William finally wins, Vincent now quickly puts all the chips into a bag and tosses it to William
 
Vincent
Let’s go
 
William looks around the casino and it brings a tear to his eye
 
William
I will miss casinos, so many good drunken and high moments
 
Vincent
LET’S GO!
 
William begins to start walking towards the exit as Rick looks at Carl
 
Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl rolls his eyes
 
Carl
Yes dad?
 
Rick
Why can’t a nose be twelve inches?
 
Carl sighs
 
Carl
Please stop
 
Rick
Because then it would be a foot
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Carl
Make him stop
 

 
Rick
A FOOT CARL A FOOT!
 
EXT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the guy exit the theatre and they both look around. Kendrick now realizes that his car is gone. Someone stole it while he was inside the theatre. The only car left in the parking lot is a small little Geo. The guy leads him towards it.
 

 
Kendrick
Fuck that, I am not getting into that sardine can
 
Man
Dude don’t talk about Gina like that. I can get six hundred K on a tank with her.
 
Kendrick
That’s yours?
 
Man
Yep!
 
The man unlocks the car
 
Man
Pretty sweet huh?
 
Kendrick
I latterly have no words to explain how I am feeling about getting into that
 
Man
It’s called Excitement
 
Kendrick
Sure let’s go with that
 
The two get into the small little car that is basically packed to the brim with things. Kendrick has to toss things into the back just to sit down properly. As Kendrick looks for the seatbelt he cannot find one
 
Man
Don’t have any. I opted to throw them out because in this new world we live in we don’t need them. We’re like doc and Marty. Where we are going we don’t need seat belts
 
Kendrick rolls his eyes
 

 
Kendrick
It’s where we’re going we don’t need roads
 
Man
Same shit
 
Kendrick
NO! NO ITS NOT! One is a road that you drive on and the other is for safety. Safety that you “opted” to take out of the car to fit what in?
 
Kendrick feels around the car and pulls out an empty beans can
 
Kendrick
An empty beans can
 
Man
Hey that’s a good year for beans, it was a good vintage year. They were aged beans.
 
Kendrick tosses the can out the window
 
Kendrick
That’s what I think about your dumb can
 
Man
Well that wasn’t so nice
 
Kendrick
Let’s just go
 
Man
Say sorry
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Yes you will
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Please?
 
 
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
So that’s it for this episode of the drive cast. Here’s hoping that all of you are safe and sound… Just like that song! Actually… I just found the best song to sign off with today guys. Can someone cue that up? I don’t have a deck in the carriage. Which reminds me when we get to where we are going remind me to put one in. It will help break up the monotony of the apocalypse
 
Higgins
Stop please stop
 
Jardy
Why?
 
Draper
Yeah why?
 
Higgins
Because no one will listen to it
 
Jardy
I think they will
 
Higgins
I’m pretty sure they will be too busy trying to not die
 
Jardy
That’s a pretty dark thought bud. I would like to think my listeners are smart and they know how to deal with zombies
 
Cars keep passing them as they honk at them
 
Higgins
Yeah like you do with this amazing idea
 
Jardy
Pretty much
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is looking around the place that they are camped out in looking for something he can make into a weapon
 
Man
We need to leave soon. I heard over the radio there infected headed this way
 
Ahma
Infected? Is anyone really sure they aren’t just drunk people. It is Finland after all. We are drunk twenty four seven
 
Man
I’m drunk right now
 
Ahma
Me to
 
Man
Good! The best way to survive the apocalypse is drunk
 
Ahma
Agreed!
 
EXT-CASINO-MORNING
William leads the group to a stretch limo parked out front of the casino. Screams, sirens and gun shots can be heard in the distance. As William looks out at the strip one last time from the front of his beloved casino a tear rolls down his face. Knowing he will probably never be back. Vincent pops his head out of the limo
 
Vincent
Let’s go!
 
William
One second
 
William calls Putin
 
William
We’re on the way. We will be wheels up in half an hour
 
Putin
I got hookers
 
William
Random, but good
 
Putin
Thought you would say that. One thing you need in this zombie world is plenty of pussy to fuck so you don’t go mad
 
William
True
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
The guy is driving as Kendrick is sitting there annoyed. As they are driving down a road littered with cars on fire and other things they see a man with a dog walking off in the distance
 
Man
We have to stop
 
Kendrick looks around
 
Kendrick
Where will they sit?
 
Man
We will make room
 
Kendrick
How? You will toss your shit out the window?
 
Man
No… god no you silly goose. We will tie shit to the roof
 
The guy pulls the car over and honks at the guy walking with his dog
 
Man
Oh I’m Robert but people call me Robbie
 
Kendrick enters a flashback of all the horrible things that Robbie has done and said to him
 
Kendrick
Robbie? As in Robbie Zimmers?
 
Robert
No, I have no idea who that is but sounds like a stand-up guy
 
Kendrick
He’s not
 
Robert
Why would you say that?
 
Kendrick
Because he’s not. Let’s just say he is one guy I hope the zombies got first.
 
Robert
That’s harsh
 
Kendrick
It’s life… I mean reality now
 
Robert
I guess
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
Guys we will arrive where we are headed in about three hours so sit back and relax
 
Higgins freaks out
 
Higgins
Relax? Relax? How on earth can we relax when we are sitting on a drunk in a carriage that is pulled by fucking Llamas. I liked you before the zombies Jardy but now you are just an idiot
 
Jardy pulls the Carriage over to the side of the road
 
Jardy
Get out
 
Higgins
What? You want to kick me out right here?
 
Jardy
That’s the meaning of “get out” isn’t it. You can mock me all you want but don’t you dare mock the Llamas. They are trying their best to get us away safely and they can hear you making fun of them. You know they have feelings right?
 
Higgins rolls his eyes
 
Higgins
Oh so I hurt their feelings?
 
Jardy
Yes you did, haven’t you felt they are going slower then they were in the beginning? It’s because of you and your negativity
 
Higgins
Maybe it’s because they are animals and they are getting tired
 
Jardy
They maybe tired but they wouldn’t want to disappoint me. Who would have thought that Llama power would be this slow? Not me
 
Higgins
EVERYONE BUT YOU
 
Jardy points to the side of the road
 
Jardy
OUT! AND OUT RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE LLAMA CARRIAGE
 
Higgins gladly gets off
 

 
Higgins
Who’s coming with me?
 
No one stands up to go with him
 
Higgins
Damn… that was going to be my Jerry Maguire moment
 
Jardy looks at Higgins stone faced
 
Jardy
And you failed
 
Jardy drives the carriage away just as groans and rustling can be heard from the woods next to Higgins. Higgins now sees what appears to be zombies coming towards him so he starts chasing the carriage.
 
Higgins
Stop! PLEASE STOP! I’m sorry, I was wrong Llama power is the best. JARDY PLEASE STOP!
 
The episode ends with shots of Ahma grabbing a stick that isn’t even sharp before leaving with the two mysterious men. Kendrick sitting annoyed in the even fuller Geo with the dog licking his face, Higgins chasing the carriage as he is being chased by Zombies and William driving his group to the airport with Rick in the back laughing at another one of his “jokes”
 
What will happen next episode? Someone will die but who? Will it be Higgins because Jardy left him for dead? Or will they reconcile before it’s too late. Will it be Kendrick and his little band of idiots in their little clown car? Or will it be Ahma at the hands of the Lizard eating mysterious men?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING

We look across an eerily quiet casino. Not even employees or even looters are in the place. Poker tables and other gaming tables are overturned with casino chips are strewn all over. The sound of the elevator arriving can be heard. We now see William, Vincent, Rick and Carl who is carrying the baby walk out of the elevator. While everyone is looking for any dangers that may lurk in the now quiet casino William strays away from the group and walks to a roulette table that is still standing. Vincent turns around to make sure everyone is staying together. He sees that William has wondered off
 
Vincent
God damn it
 
Rick turns around and looks to make sure Carl is still with him.
 
Rick
That guy will just weigh us down, let’s just go to his plane and take it
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
I wish it was that easy, but the guy who has the plane will not leave him behind. They are like brothers from different mother
 
Rick
Another
 
Vincent looks oddly at Rick
 
Vincent
Excuse me?
 
Rick
It’s Brothers from another mother
 
Vincent rolls his eyes
 
Vincent
No, that’s only if you saying it in the singular not plural
 
Rick
What are you a fucking English teacher?
 
Vincent
No I play hockey
 
Rick
Hockey? You’re fucked
 
Vincent finally spots William who now has found the bar and is grabbing all the booze he can carry.
 
Vincent
William! Let’s go!
 
William
No! I have to do something
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick watches on as the figure nears him. He begins to look for something that he can use to defend himself if the person is hostile. As the figure gets just a few feet away Kendrick grabs a water bottle from the nearest rack and gets ready to swing. The figure enters a patch of natural light where Kendrick can see that it’s just a man in pain. The man looks at Kendrick then the bottle in his hand
 
Man
Were you going to hit me with that?
 
Kendrick looks at the bottle
 
Kendrick
This? No… I was uh… thirsty
 
Man
Bullshit! I think you wanted to cold cock me with it
 
Kendrick
Why would I do that?
 
Man
You may think I was one of them
 
Kendrick
Them? I was just watching… uh a movie
 
Man
Wow
 
Kendrick
What?
 
Man
I didn’t think anyone went to the movies anymore since people just downloaded movies now. I hope it was something good and not a movie like Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
 
Kendrick
What if it was?
 
Man
Then I would call you a homo
 
Kendrick shakes off the odd comment
 
Kendrick
Ok enough of that shit, tell me what’s going on
 
Man
Zombies
 
Kendrick
Is that a new movie?
 
Man
No! There are actual real zombies out there and people are running scared
 
Kendrick puts two and two together and steps away from the man
 
Kendrick
Um… why were you groaning? Did they get you?
 
Man
NO! I was hungry and I ate way too much popcorn
 
EXT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Jardy is leading the group out of the building. The parking lot is full of abandoned cars but a carriage is parked right in front with four Llama’s attached to it. @JardyB10 enthusiastically hops onto the carriage and looks down at Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Jardy
Let’s go guys
 
@Higginsstands there in amazement at what he is seeing
 
Higgins
Are we really getting into that? You do know there are cars here we can take
 
Jardy
Llama power all the way baby, we will be laughing in a week’s time when all the survivors cars run out of gas
 
@Victorsmashes an empty bottle down on the ground and hops on
 
Victor
Going to sleep boys
 
@Draper
Where will we sit if you lay down in the back?
Victor
Voctor go to sleep
 
Victor lays down and goes to sleep
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is now out of the net but is now tied to a rock. A rock that he can easily lift up and get untied. Ahma looks at the fire in front of him almost hypnotized by it. As the man from before walks up to him
 
Man
What’s wrong with you?
 
Ahma looks around then back at him
 
Ahma
Me?
 
Man
Um yes you
 
Ahma
I’m Finnish…
 
Man
That explains everything
 
Ahma shakes his head
 
Ahma
I wasn’t finished. I was going to say that since I am Finnish there is nothing wrong with me. But… well… I haven’t been the same since Liz left
 
Man
That’s nice I don’t care about your life story
 
Ahma keeps talking like he doesn’t even notice the guy is speaking
 
Ahma
It’s like why did she leave? I gave her a great little setup and she loved it. But I left the door open and she left me alone to my drinking problems.
 
Man
That’s not your only problem
 
Ahma keeps talking almost like he is talking to himself
 
Ahma
Now I have been living off the land because I need to find Liz or I will lose all purpose in life. I might as well feed myself to the zombies
 
Man
You truly are a sad little guy
 
Ahma bursts into tears
 
Ahma
LIZ! Where are you girl? Daddy needs you!
 
INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING
William is standing at a roulette table putting all on Red Twelve with what appears to be all the chips that were inside the casino. He motions Vincent to spin the wheel. Vincent sighs and spins it. The ball lands on Black eleven.
 
William
Again
 
Vincent
You know you can just take the chips. You can say you nailed it we won’t tell anyone that you didn’t
 
William
That would be a lie now wouldn’t it. I need it to hit Red Twelve now spin the god damn wheel
 
Vincent spins the wheel while sighing
 
Rick
You know he is like a little kid, you need occupy his mind with something else so he doesn’t just fuck off and do something stupid.
 
Vincent looks at Rick not pleased
 
Vincent
Look, I appreciate you trying to help me but William is a bit more complex than your little kid
 
Rick
Oh yeah? Watch this
 
Rick gets down on one knee and looks at Carl
 
Rick
I couldn’t get my seat belt on in the car Carl
 
Carl
Not this again…
 
Rick
But then it clicked
 
Carl
We don’t have a car dad you gambled it away
 

 
Rick
It clicked Carl, it CLICKED!
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Vincent
How will that even help me?
 
Rick now crying as he is laughing as he looks at Vincent
 
Rick
IT CLICKED!
 
Rick begins to roll around laughing as the ball lands on Black Eleven yet again
 
William
GOD DAMN IT!
 
Vincent
Just make your bet eleven
 
William glares at Vincent
 
William
Would it be Red Twelve?
 
Vincent
No
 
William
Then shut up and spin
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the man are now sitting at a table as they talk. The man is now eating a big at burger as Kendrick is trying to understand what the man is saying
 
Kendrick
So the whole world is fucked?
 
Man
Yep!
 
As the man speaks he spit food from his mouth. Kendrick wipes food off his face
Kendrick
I can’t believe I am saying this but its best we stick together
 
Man
I agree. You with your survival skills and me with my uh… unique skill set we make an unstoppable team
 
Kendrick sits there annoyed
 
Kendrick
Yeah unless you eat popcorn
 
Man
What?
 
Kendrick
Never mind
 
The guy goes back to basically inhaling his burger as Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
What’s your special skill? Eating?
 
Man
Its many things, but you need to teach me the survival skill bro
 
Kendrick
How do you even know I am good at survival?
 
Man
The way you grabbed the bottle at the last second. That was your survival instinct
 
Kendrick
More like grabbing the nearest thing
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Higgins and Draper sit on top of a passed out Victor as Jardy who seems to be in his own world as he drives the carriage.
 
Higgins
Where are we going?
 
Jardy
Somewhere safe
 
Higgins
Like?
 
Jardy
You’ll see
 
Higgins
Will there be a car there? This is a bit stupid
 
Cars are passing them on the road honking at them and yelling at them things like “Idiot’s” “who fucking uses a carriage anymore?”
 
Draper
Higgins shut up already. I think we should sit back and assess the situation. We at least we have this. It’s better than walking
 
Jardy
See that’s why Draper runs the league and you just show up to keep up the appearance. He thinks outside the box. You think inside the box which sucks in the new reality
 
Higgins
Which is?
 
Jardy
The Zombie apocalypse of course
 
Higgins
Oh because you are so much better suited to survive? You couldn’t even stick around to run the league. All you can do is make those stupid drive casts
 
Jardy
That reminds me
 
Jardy pulls out his phone and turns on the camera.
 
Jardy
And we’re rolling
 
Higgins
Turn that shit off
 
Jardy
Hello VHL, how is your zombie apocalypse going? We league minds have gotten away on our three and a half wheel Llama Carriage.
 
Higgins
Half wheel?
 
Jardy
Yep! One wheel is half the size of the rest
 
Higgins
This officially is the worst idea in the history of me knowing you
 
Jardy
Nope! Not perma banning Robbie was probably worst
 
Higgins thinks for a second
 
Higgins
Fucking Robbie
 
Jardy
Yeah I hope the zombies got him
 
Higgins
Don’t wish that
 
Jardy
Why? It’s Robbie. Are you a Robbie lover?
 
Higgins
No because if you think he was bad living imagine how bad he is as a Zombie
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is sobbing now as the man is now trying to calm him down
 
Man
Look if Liz is out there you will find her
 
Ahma
But what if she isn’t
 
Man
Then she isn’t but she would want you to move on and not cry
 
The other man can be heard burping from the lizard he just ate as Ahma wipes away tears from his face
 
Ahma
You really think so?
 
Man
I know so
 
Ahma
How? Are you a lizard expert?
 
Man
No, but lizards are fucking stupid and they don’t give a fuck
 
Ahma tries to collect himself then motions towards the rock he is tied to
 
Ahma
Can you untie me now? I am ready to move on
 
The man turns around and walks away
 
Man
Untie yourself
 
Ahma
How?
 
Man
Stand up and the rope will fall off
 
INT-CASINO-MORNING
William finally wins, Vincent now quickly puts all the chips into a bag and tosses it to William
 
Vincent
Let’s go
 
William looks around the casino and it brings a tear to his eye
 
William
I will miss casinos, so many good drunken and high moments
 
Vincent
LET’S GO!
 
William begins to start walking towards the exit as Rick looks at Carl
 
Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl rolls his eyes
 
Carl
Yes dad?
 
Rick
Why can’t a nose be twelve inches?
 
Carl sighs
 
Carl
Please stop
 
Rick
Because then it would be a foot
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Carl
Make him stop
 

 
Rick
A FOOT CARL A FOOT!
 
EXT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the guy exit the theatre and they both look around. Kendrick now realizes that his car is gone. Someone stole it while he was inside the theatre. The only car left in the parking lot is a small little Geo. The guy leads him towards it.
 

 
Kendrick
Fuck that, I am not getting into that sardine can
 
Man
Dude don’t talk about Gina like that. I can get six hundred K on a tank with her.
 
Kendrick
That’s yours?
 
Man
Yep!
 
The man unlocks the car
 
Man
Pretty sweet huh?
 
Kendrick
I latterly have no words to explain how I am feeling about getting into that
 
Man
It’s called Excitement
 
Kendrick
Sure let’s go with that
 
The two get into the small little car that is basically packed to the brim with things. Kendrick has to toss things into the back just to sit down properly. As Kendrick looks for the seatbelt he cannot find one
 
Man
Don’t have any. I opted to throw them out because in this new world we live in we don’t need them. We’re like doc and Marty. Where we are going we don’t need seat belts
 
Kendrick rolls his eyes
 

 
Kendrick
It’s where we’re going we don’t need roads
 
Man
Same shit
 
Kendrick
NO! NO ITS NOT! One is a road that you drive on and the other is for safety. Safety that you “opted” to take out of the car to fit what in?
 
Kendrick feels around the car and pulls out an empty beans can
 
Kendrick
An empty beans can
 
Man
Hey that’s a good year for beans, it was a good vintage year. They were aged beans.
 
Kendrick tosses the can out the window
 
Kendrick
That’s what I think about your dumb can
 
Man
Well that wasn’t so nice
 
Kendrick
Let’s just go
 
Man
Say sorry
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Yes you will
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Please?
 
 
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
So that’s it for this episode of the drive cast. Here’s hoping that all of you are safe and sound… Just like that song! Actually… I just found the best song to sign off with today guys. Can someone cue that up? I don’t have a deck in the carriage. Which reminds me when we get to where we are going remind me to put one in. It will help break up the monotony of the apocalypse
 
Higgins
Stop please stop
 
Jardy
Why?
 
Draper
Yeah why?
 
Higgins
Because no one will listen to it
 
Jardy
I think they will
 
Higgins
I’m pretty sure they will be too busy trying to not die
 
Jardy
That’s a pretty dark thought bud. I would like to think my listeners are smart and they know how to deal with zombies
 
Cars keep passing them as they honk at them
 
Higgins
Yeah like you do with this amazing idea
 
Jardy
Pretty much
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is looking around the place that they are camped out in looking for something he can make into a weapon
 
Man
We need to leave soon. I heard over the radio there infected headed this way
 
Ahma
Infected? Is anyone really sure they aren’t just drunk people. It is Finland after all. We are drunk twenty four seven
 
Man
I’m drunk right now
 
Ahma
Me to
 
Man
Good! The best way to survive the apocalypse is drunk
 
Ahma
Agreed!
 
EXT-CASINO-MORNING
William leads the group to a stretch limo parked out front of the casino. Screams, sirens and gun shots can be heard in the distance. As William looks out at the strip one last time from the front of his beloved casino a tear rolls down his face. Knowing he will probably never be back. Vincent pops his head out of the limo
 
Vincent
Let’s go!
 
William
One second
 
William calls Putin
 
William
We’re on the way. We will be wheels up in half an hour
 
Putin
I got hookers
 
William
Random, but good
 
Putin
Thought you would say that. One thing you need in this zombie world is plenty of pussy to fuck so you don’t go mad
 
William
True
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
The guy is driving as Kendrick is sitting there annoyed. As they are driving down a road littered with cars on fire and other things they see a man with a dog walking off in the distance
 
Man
We have to stop
 
Kendrick looks around
 
Kendrick
Where will they sit?
 
Man
We will make room
 
Kendrick
How? You will toss your shit out the window?
 
Man
No… god no you silly goose. We will tie shit to the roof
 
The guy pulls the car over and honks at the guy walking with his dog
 
Man
Oh I’m Robert but people call me Robbie
 
Kendrick enters a flashback of all the horrible things that Robbie has done and said to him
 
Kendrick
Robbie? As in Robbie Zimmers?
 
Robert
No, I have no idea who that is but sounds like a stand-up guy
 
Kendrick
He’s not
 
Robert
Why would you say that?
 
Kendrick
Because he’s not. Let’s just say he is one guy I hope the zombies got first.
 
Robert
That’s harsh
 
Kendrick
It’s life… I mean reality now
 
Robert
I guess
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
Guys we will arrive where we are headed in about three hours so sit back and relax
 
Higgins freaks out
 
Higgins
Relax? Relax? How on earth can we relax when we are sitting on a drunk in a carriage that is pulled by fucking Llamas. I liked you before the zombies Jardy but now you are just an idiot
 
Jardy pulls the Carriage over to the side of the road
 
Jardy
Get out
 
Higgins
What? You want to kick me out right here?
 
Jardy
That’s the meaning of “get out” isn’t it. You can mock me all you want but don’t you dare mock the Llamas. They are trying their best to get us away safely and they can hear you making fun of them. You know they have feelings right?
 
Higgins rolls his eyes
 
Higgins
Oh so I hurt their feelings?
 
Jardy
Yes you did, haven’t you felt they are going slower then they were in the beginning? It’s because of you and your negativity
 
Higgins
Maybe it’s because they are animals and they are getting tired
 
Jardy
They maybe tired but they wouldn’t want to disappoint me. Who would have thought that Llama power would be this slow? Not me
 
Higgins
EVERYONE BUT YOU
 
Jardy points to the side of the road
 
Jardy
OUT! AND OUT RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE LLAMA CARRIAGE
 
Higgins gladly gets off
 

 
Higgins
Who’s coming with me?
 
No one stands up to go with him
 
Higgins
Damn… that was going to be my Jerry Maguire moment
 
Jardy looks at Higgins stone faced
 
Jardy
And you failed
 
Jardy drives the carriage away just as groans and rustling can be heard from the woods next to Higgins. Higgins now sees what appears to be zombies coming towards him so he starts chasing the carriage.
 
Higgins
Stop! PLEASE STOP! I’m sorry, I was wrong Llama power is the best. JARDY PLEASE STOP!
 
The episode ends with shots of Ahma grabbing a stick that isn’t even sharp before leaving with the two mysterious men. Kendrick sitting annoyed in the even fuller Geo with the dog licking his face, Higgins chasing the carriage as he is being chased by Zombies and William driving his group to the airport with Rick in the back laughing at another one of his “jokes”
 
What will happen next episode? Someone will die but who? Will it be Higgins because Jardy left him for dead? Or will they reconcile before it’s too late. Will it be Kendrick and his little band of idiots in their little clown car? Or will it be Ahma at the hands of the Lizard eating mysterious men?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING

We look across an eerily quiet casino. Not even employees or even looters are in the place. Poker tables and other gaming tables are overturned with casino chips are strewn all over. The sound of the elevator arriving can be heard. We now see William, Vincent, Rick and Carl who is carrying the baby walk out of the elevator. While everyone is looking for any dangers that may lurk in the now quiet casino William strays away from the group and walks to a roulette table that is still standing. Vincent turns around to make sure everyone is staying together. He sees that William has wondered off
 
Vincent
God damn it
 
Rick turns around and looks to make sure Carl is still with him.
 
Rick
That guy will just weigh us down, let’s just go to his plane and take it
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
I wish it was that easy, but the guy who has the plane will not leave him behind. They are like brothers from different mother
 
Rick
Another
 
Vincent looks oddly at Rick
 
Vincent
Excuse me?
 
Rick
It’s Brothers from another mother
 
Vincent rolls his eyes
 
Vincent
No, that’s only if you saying it in the singular not plural
 
Rick
What are you a fucking English teacher?
 
Vincent
No I play hockey
 
Rick
Hockey? You’re fucked
 
Vincent finally spots William who now has found the bar and is grabbing all the booze he can carry.
 
Vincent
William! Let’s go!
 
William
No! I have to do something
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick watches on as the figure nears him. He begins to look for something that he can use to defend himself if the person is hostile. As the figure gets just a few feet away Kendrick grabs a water bottle from the nearest rack and gets ready to swing. The figure enters a patch of natural light where Kendrick can see that it’s just a man in pain. The man looks at Kendrick then the bottle in his hand
 
Man
Were you going to hit me with that?
 
Kendrick looks at the bottle
 
Kendrick
This? No… I was uh… thirsty
 
Man
Bullshit! I think you wanted to cold cock me with it
 
Kendrick
Why would I do that?
 
Man
You may think I was one of them
 
Kendrick
Them? I was just watching… uh a movie
 
Man
Wow
 
Kendrick
What?
 
Man
I didn’t think anyone went to the movies anymore since people just downloaded movies now. I hope it was something good and not a movie like Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
 
Kendrick
What if it was?
 
Man
Then I would call you a homo
 
Kendrick shakes off the odd comment
 
Kendrick
Ok enough of that shit, tell me what’s going on
 
Man
Zombies
 
Kendrick
Is that a new movie?
 
Man
No! There are actual real zombies out there and people are running scared
 
Kendrick puts two and two together and steps away from the man
 
Kendrick
Um… why were you groaning? Did they get you?
 
Man
NO! I was hungry and I ate way too much popcorn
 
EXT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Jardy is leading the group out of the building. The parking lot is full of abandoned cars but a carriage is parked right in front with four Llama’s attached to it. @JardyB10 enthusiastically hops onto the carriage and looks down at Higgins, Draper and Victor
 
Jardy
Let’s go guys
 
@Higginsstands there in amazement at what he is seeing
 
Higgins
Are we really getting into that? You do know there are cars here we can take
 
Jardy
Llama power all the way baby, we will be laughing in a week’s time when all the survivors cars run out of gas
 
@Victorsmashes an empty bottle down on the ground and hops on
 
Victor
Going to sleep boys
 
@Draper
Where will we sit if you lay down in the back?
Victor
Voctor go to sleep
 
Victor lays down and goes to sleep
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is now out of the net but is now tied to a rock. A rock that he can easily lift up and get untied. Ahma looks at the fire in front of him almost hypnotized by it. As the man from before walks up to him
 
Man
What’s wrong with you?
 
Ahma looks around then back at him
 
Ahma
Me?
 
Man
Um yes you
 
Ahma
I’m Finnish…
 
Man
That explains everything
 
Ahma shakes his head
 
Ahma
I wasn’t finished. I was going to say that since I am Finnish there is nothing wrong with me. But… well… I haven’t been the same since Liz left
 
Man
That’s nice I don’t care about your life story
 
Ahma keeps talking like he doesn’t even notice the guy is speaking
 
Ahma
It’s like why did she leave? I gave her a great little setup and she loved it. But I left the door open and she left me alone to my drinking problems.
 
Man
That’s not your only problem
 
Ahma keeps talking almost like he is talking to himself
 
Ahma
Now I have been living off the land because I need to find Liz or I will lose all purpose in life. I might as well feed myself to the zombies
 
Man
You truly are a sad little guy
 
Ahma bursts into tears
 
Ahma
LIZ! Where are you girl? Daddy needs you!
 
INT-LAS VEGAS CASINO-MORNING
William is standing at a roulette table putting all on Red Twelve with what appears to be all the chips that were inside the casino. He motions Vincent to spin the wheel. Vincent sighs and spins it. The ball lands on Black eleven.
 
William
Again
 
Vincent
You know you can just take the chips. You can say you nailed it we won’t tell anyone that you didn’t
 
William
That would be a lie now wouldn’t it. I need it to hit Red Twelve now spin the god damn wheel
 
Vincent spins the wheel while sighing
 
Rick
You know he is like a little kid, you need occupy his mind with something else so he doesn’t just fuck off and do something stupid.
 
Vincent looks at Rick not pleased
 
Vincent
Look, I appreciate you trying to help me but William is a bit more complex than your little kid
 
Rick
Oh yeah? Watch this
 
Rick gets down on one knee and looks at Carl
 
Rick
I couldn’t get my seat belt on in the car Carl
 
Carl
Not this again…
 
Rick
But then it clicked
 
Carl
We don’t have a car dad you gambled it away
 

 
Rick
It clicked Carl, it CLICKED!
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Vincent
How will that even help me?
 
Rick now crying as he is laughing as he looks at Vincent
 
Rick
IT CLICKED!
 
Rick begins to roll around laughing as the ball lands on Black Eleven yet again
 
William
GOD DAMN IT!
 
Vincent
Just make your bet eleven
 
William glares at Vincent
 
William
Would it be Red Twelve?
 
Vincent
No
 
William
Then shut up and spin
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the man are now sitting at a table as they talk. The man is now eating a big at burger as Kendrick is trying to understand what the man is saying
 
Kendrick
So the whole world is fucked?
 
Man
Yep!
 
As the man speaks he spit food from his mouth. Kendrick wipes food off his face
Kendrick
I can’t believe I am saying this but its best we stick together
 
Man
I agree. You with your survival skills and me with my uh… unique skill set we make an unstoppable team
 
Kendrick sits there annoyed
 
Kendrick
Yeah unless you eat popcorn
 
Man
What?
 
Kendrick
Never mind
 
The guy goes back to basically inhaling his burger as Kendrick mumbles
 
Kendrick
What’s your special skill? Eating?
 
Man
Its many things, but you need to teach me the survival skill bro
 
Kendrick
How do you even know I am good at survival?
 
Man
The way you grabbed the bottle at the last second. That was your survival instinct
 
Kendrick
More like grabbing the nearest thing
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Higgins and Draper sit on top of a passed out Victor as Jardy who seems to be in his own world as he drives the carriage.
 
Higgins
Where are we going?
 
Jardy
Somewhere safe
 
Higgins
Like?
 
Jardy
You’ll see
 
Higgins
Will there be a car there? This is a bit stupid
 
Cars are passing them on the road honking at them and yelling at them things like “Idiot’s” “who fucking uses a carriage anymore?”
 
Draper
Higgins shut up already. I think we should sit back and assess the situation. We at least we have this. It’s better than walking
 
Jardy
See that’s why Draper runs the league and you just show up to keep up the appearance. He thinks outside the box. You think inside the box which sucks in the new reality
 
Higgins
Which is?
 
Jardy
The Zombie apocalypse of course
 
Higgins
Oh because you are so much better suited to survive? You couldn’t even stick around to run the league. All you can do is make those stupid drive casts
 
Jardy
That reminds me
 
Jardy pulls out his phone and turns on the camera.
 
Jardy
And we’re rolling
 
Higgins
Turn that shit off
 
Jardy
Hello VHL, how is your zombie apocalypse going? We league minds have gotten away on our three and a half wheel Llama Carriage.
 
Higgins
Half wheel?
 
Jardy
Yep! One wheel is half the size of the rest
 
Higgins
This officially is the worst idea in the history of me knowing you
 
Jardy
Nope! Not perma banning Robbie was probably worst
 
Higgins thinks for a second
 
Higgins
Fucking Robbie
 
Jardy
Yeah I hope the zombies got him
 
Higgins
Don’t wish that
 
Jardy
Why? It’s Robbie. Are you a Robbie lover?
 
Higgins
No because if you think he was bad living imagine how bad he is as a Zombie
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is sobbing now as the man is now trying to calm him down
 
Man
Look if Liz is out there you will find her
 
Ahma
But what if she isn’t
 
Man
Then she isn’t but she would want you to move on and not cry
 
The other man can be heard burping from the lizard he just ate as Ahma wipes away tears from his face
 
Ahma
You really think so?
 
Man
I know so
 
Ahma
How? Are you a lizard expert?
 
Man
No, but lizards are fucking stupid and they don’t give a fuck
 
Ahma tries to collect himself then motions towards the rock he is tied to
 
Ahma
Can you untie me now? I am ready to move on
 
The man turns around and walks away
 
Man
Untie yourself
 
Ahma
How?
 
Man
Stand up and the rope will fall off
 
INT-CASINO-MORNING
William finally wins, Vincent now quickly puts all the chips into a bag and tosses it to William
 
Vincent
Let’s go
 
William looks around the casino and it brings a tear to his eye
 
William
I will miss casinos, so many good drunken and high moments
 
Vincent
LET’S GO!
 
William begins to start walking towards the exit as Rick looks at Carl
 
Rick
Hey Carl
 
Carl rolls his eyes
 
Carl
Yes dad?
 
Rick
Why can’t a nose be twelve inches?
 
Carl sighs
 
Carl
Please stop
 
Rick
Because then it would be a foot
 
Rick bursts out laughing
 
Carl
Make him stop
 

 
Rick
A FOOT CARL A FOOT!
 
EXT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the guy exit the theatre and they both look around. Kendrick now realizes that his car is gone. Someone stole it while he was inside the theatre. The only car left in the parking lot is a small little Geo. The guy leads him towards it.
 

 
Kendrick
Fuck that, I am not getting into that sardine can
 
Man
Dude don’t talk about Gina like that. I can get six hundred K on a tank with her.
 
Kendrick
That’s yours?
 
Man
Yep!
 
The man unlocks the car
 
Man
Pretty sweet huh?
 
Kendrick
I latterly have no words to explain how I am feeling about getting into that
 
Man
It’s called Excitement
 
Kendrick
Sure let’s go with that
 
The two get into the small little car that is basically packed to the brim with things. Kendrick has to toss things into the back just to sit down properly. As Kendrick looks for the seatbelt he cannot find one
 
Man
Don’t have any. I opted to throw them out because in this new world we live in we don’t need them. We’re like doc and Marty. Where we are going we don’t need seat belts
 
Kendrick rolls his eyes
 

 
Kendrick
It’s where we’re going we don’t need roads
 
Man
Same shit
 
Kendrick
NO! NO ITS NOT! One is a road that you drive on and the other is for safety. Safety that you “opted” to take out of the car to fit what in?
 
Kendrick feels around the car and pulls out an empty beans can
 
Kendrick
An empty beans can
 
Man
Hey that’s a good year for beans, it was a good vintage year. They were aged beans.
 
Kendrick tosses the can out the window
 
Kendrick
That’s what I think about your dumb can
 
Man
Well that wasn’t so nice
 
Kendrick
Let’s just go
 
Man
Say sorry
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Yes you will
 
Kendrick
I will not!
 
Man
Please?
 
 
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
So that’s it for this episode of the drive cast. Here’s hoping that all of you are safe and sound… Just like that song! Actually… I just found the best song to sign off with today guys. Can someone cue that up? I don’t have a deck in the carriage. Which reminds me when we get to where we are going remind me to put one in. It will help break up the monotony of the apocalypse
 
Higgins
Stop please stop
 
Jardy
Why?
 
Draper
Yeah why?
 
Higgins
Because no one will listen to it
 
Jardy
I think they will
 
Higgins
I’m pretty sure they will be too busy trying to not die
 
Jardy
That’s a pretty dark thought bud. I would like to think my listeners are smart and they know how to deal with zombies
 
Cars keep passing them as they honk at them
 
Higgins
Yeah like you do with this amazing idea
 
Jardy
Pretty much
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is looking around the place that they are camped out in looking for something he can make into a weapon
 
Man
We need to leave soon. I heard over the radio there infected headed this way
 
Ahma
Infected? Is anyone really sure they aren’t just drunk people. It is Finland after all. We are drunk twenty four seven
 
Man
I’m drunk right now
 
Ahma
Me to
 
Man
Good! The best way to survive the apocalypse is drunk
 
Ahma
Agreed!
 
EXT-CASINO-MORNING
William leads the group to a stretch limo parked out front of the casino. Screams, sirens and gun shots can be heard in the distance. As William looks out at the strip one last time from the front of his beloved casino a tear rolls down his face. Knowing he will probably never be back. Vincent pops his head out of the limo
 
Vincent
Let’s go!
 
William
One second
 
William calls Putin
 
William
We’re on the way. We will be wheels up in half an hour
 
Putin
I got hookers
 
William
Random, but good
 
Putin
Thought you would say that. One thing you need in this zombie world is plenty of pussy to fuck so you don’t go mad
 
William
True
 
INT-GEO-MORNING
The guy is driving as Kendrick is sitting there annoyed. As they are driving down a road littered with cars on fire and other things they see a man with a dog walking off in the distance
 
Man
We have to stop
 
Kendrick looks around
 
Kendrick
Where will they sit?
 
Man
We will make room
 
Kendrick
How? You will toss your shit out the window?
 
Man
No… god no you silly goose. We will tie shit to the roof
 
The guy pulls the car over and honks at the guy walking with his dog
 
Man
Oh I’m Robert but people call me Robbie
 
Kendrick enters a flashback of all the horrible things that Robbie has done and said to him
 
Kendrick
Robbie? As in Robbie Zimmers?
 
Robert
No, I have no idea who that is but sounds like a stand-up guy
 
Kendrick
He’s not
 
Robert
Why would you say that?
 
Kendrick
Because he’s not. Let’s just say he is one guy I hope the zombies got first.
 
Robert
That’s harsh
 
Kendrick
It’s life… I mean reality now
 
Robert
I guess
 
INT-LLAMA CARRIAGE-MORNING
Jardy
Guys we will arrive where we are headed in about three hours so sit back and relax
 
Higgins freaks out
 
Higgins
Relax? Relax? How on earth can we relax when we are sitting on a drunk in a carriage that is pulled by fucking Llamas. I liked you before the zombies Jardy but now you are just an idiot
 
Jardy pulls the Carriage over to the side of the road
 
Jardy
Get out
 
Higgins
What? You want to kick me out right here?
 
Jardy
That’s the meaning of “get out” isn’t it. You can mock me all you want but don’t you dare mock the Llamas. They are trying their best to get us away safely and they can hear you making fun of them. You know they have feelings right?
 
Higgins rolls his eyes
 
Higgins
Oh so I hurt their feelings?
 
Jardy
Yes you did, haven’t you felt they are going slower then they were in the beginning? It’s because of you and your negativity
 
Higgins
Maybe it’s because they are animals and they are getting tired
 
Jardy
They maybe tired but they wouldn’t want to disappoint me. Who would have thought that Llama power would be this slow? Not me
 
Higgins
EVERYONE BUT YOU
 
Jardy points to the side of the road
 
Jardy
OUT! AND OUT RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE LLAMA CARRIAGE
 
Higgins gladly gets off
 

 
Higgins
Who’s coming with me?
 
No one stands up to go with him
 
Higgins
Damn… that was going to be my Jerry Maguire moment
 
Jardy looks at Higgins stone faced
 
Jardy
And you failed
 
Jardy drives the carriage away just as groans and rustling can be heard from the woods next to Higgins. Higgins now sees what appears to be zombies coming towards him so he starts chasing the carriage.
 
Higgins
Stop! PLEASE STOP! I’m sorry, I was wrong Llama power is the best. JARDY PLEASE STOP!
 
The episode ends with shots of Ahma grabbing a stick that isn’t even sharp before leaving with the two mysterious men. Kendrick sitting annoyed in the even fuller Geo with the dog licking his face, Higgins chasing the carriage as he is being chased by Zombies and William driving his group to the airport with Rick in the back laughing at another one of his “jokes”
 
What will happen next episode? Someone will die but who? Will it be Higgins because Jardy left him for dead? Or will they reconcile before it’s too late. Will it be Kendrick and his little band of idiots in their little clown car? Or will it be Ahma at the hands of the Lizard eating mysterious men?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Uh... don't know what happened to my lottery numbers I picked a long time ago. If they could be added that would be nice. 4-4-7

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something.
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
@Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world
 
Draper
Yo
 
Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper
 
Higgins
Me?
 
Draper looks around
 
Draper
Yeah who else?
 
Higgins shrugs
 
Higgins
Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly
 
Draper
Not to…
 
Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum
 
Victor
I have ideas
 
Draper
What kind?
 
Victor
Ones that will help the league
 
Higgins
Interesting
 
Victor
Indeed! They are very interesting
 
Draper
Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here?
 
Victor
Interesting things that you two would be interested in
 
Draper
Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk
 
Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table
 
Draper
You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper looks at Higgins
 
Draper
You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper
Stop
 
Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle.
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY

Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent
 
William
What exactly do you think you are doing?
 
Vincent
I thought you were dead
 
William
So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended.
 
Vincent
Not if you are undead
 
William
Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Higgins
So your idea is to screw over all teams but one.
 
Victor
Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win
 
Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought.
 
Draper
You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good
 
Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments
 
Higgins
You’re right
 
Victor
Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol
 
Draper
You always think about alcohol
 
Higgins
Because he’s an alcoholic
Draper snaps at Higgins
 
Draper
You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them
 
Higgins
No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce
 
Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum
 
Victor
Very True
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY
Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one”
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent
 
William
Zombies? In Vegas?
 
Vincent
No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you
 
William
A zombie?
 
Vincent
Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?
 
William
A zombie in Las Vegas?
 
Vincent
You aren’t getting it
 
William
Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts?
 
Vincent
If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world
Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
 
William
Nice joke
 
Vincent
It’s not a joke
 
William
Uh huh and I’m not the King of England
 
Vincent
You’re not
 
William points at his crown
 
William
What’s this?
 
Vincent
A crown… I do not see why this is relevant
 
William
You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown
 
Vincent
You stole it from Burger King
 
William
You just Jelly that you don’t have one
 
Vincent
I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here
 
William
And I would offer them coke
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
Okay… we are getting off topic
 
William
Which is?
 
Vincent
ZOMBIES!!!
 
William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone
William
Putin my boy! What is up?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall
 
Kendrick
Hey!
 
The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened.
 
Jardy
Guys we have to leave
 
Higgins looks at Jardy oddly
 
Higgins
Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know
 
Jardy
It’s for protection
 
Higgins
Against what? Lesbian Vampires?
 
Jardy laughs
 
Jardy
No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for
 
Jardy looks around cautiously
 
Jardy
Zombies
 
Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma
 
Man
Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat
 
Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man
 
Ahma
Last ever? Why?
 
Man
You mean you don’t know?
 
Ahma
Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months.
 
Man
So you been in the woods that long?
 
Ahma
Yeah
 
Man
Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first!
 
The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him
 
Ahma
Mine! My precious!
 
Man
NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge?
 
Ahma
I thought someone just forgot it
 
Man
Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge?
 
Ahma
An idiot that’s who
 
Man
You calling me an idiot?
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William stands up as he finishes the phone call
 
William
I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready
 
William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent
 
William
Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside?
 
Vincent
Um… I did!
 
William
I thought you were kidding
 
Vincent points at the TV
 
Vincent
What part of that looks like a joke?
 
William looks at the TV and shrugs
 
William
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go!
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out.
 
Kendrick
Stop right there bud. I want no trouble
 
The figure continues to walk towards him
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition”
 
Draper
Fuck that’s messed up
 
Jardy
Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago
 
Higgins
Why didn’t we?
 
Jardy
I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it
 
Higgins
It was pretty good and very informative
 
Victor finishes his rum bottle
 
Victor
I agree
 
Victor burps
 
Victor
But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum
 
Draper pulls out a set of keys
 
Draper
Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze
 
Victor
No wonder you run shit
 
Higgins
What about me?
 
Victor
You? I don’t know why you are around
 
Higgins
Harsh
 
Jardy slams his fist down on the table
 
Jardy
Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge
 
Higgins
Got a car?
 
Jardy
Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power!
 
Higgins
Okay I’m sold!
 
Draper
You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit!
 
Higgins
You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama?
 
Jardy has a flashback
 
Draper
Oh yeah… Okay let’s go
 
The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback
 
Jardy
The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
 
Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys
 
Jardy
What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go!
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma
Wow! Now that’s a story
 
Man
Now to the question of the hour
 
Ahma
Hour? It really took that long to tell?
 
Man
It was a detailed story
 
Ahma
It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net
 
Man
So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you?
 
As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING

William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them
 
Vincent
Hey little dude you okay?
 
The boy does not say anything
 
Vincent
Give me the gun
 
A man walks out a room holding a baby.
 
Man
Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth
 
Vincent spins around to look at the man
 
Vincent
You are the father I assume?
 
Man
That would be me
 
Vincent
Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane
 
William
Shut up!
 
Vincent turns to William and whispers
 
Vincent
Why?
 
William
Because I don’t like to share!
 
Vincent
We have to help him he has two kids
 
William
If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself
 
Man
You do know we can hear you right?
 
William sighs
 
William
Welcome to the team
 
The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away.
 
Man
I’m Rick and he is Carl
 
William
That’s nice
 
Rick looks at William
 
Rick
You’re the king aren’t you?
 
William rolls his eyes
 
William
That would be me
 
The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick.
 
What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers! 

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something.
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
@Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world
 
Draper
Yo
 
Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper
 
Higgins
Me?
 
Draper looks around
 
Draper
Yeah who else?
 
Higgins shrugs
 
Higgins
Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly
 
Draper
Not to…
 
Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum
 
Victor
I have ideas
 
Draper
What kind?
 
Victor
Ones that will help the league
 
Higgins
Interesting
 
Victor
Indeed! They are very interesting
 
Draper
Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here?
 
Victor
Interesting things that you two would be interested in
 
Draper
Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk
 
Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table
 
Draper
You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper looks at Higgins
 
Draper
You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper
Stop
 
Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle.
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY

Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent
 
William
What exactly do you think you are doing?
 
Vincent
I thought you were dead
 
William
So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended.
 
Vincent
Not if you are undead
 
William
Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Higgins
So your idea is to screw over all teams but one.
 
Victor
Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win
 
Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought.
 
Draper
You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good
 
Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments
 
Higgins
You’re right
 
Victor
Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol
 
Draper
You always think about alcohol
 
Higgins
Because he’s an alcoholic
Draper snaps at Higgins
 
Draper
You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them
 
Higgins
No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce
 
Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum
 
Victor
Very True
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY
Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one”
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent
 
William
Zombies? In Vegas?
 
Vincent
No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you
 
William
A zombie?
 
Vincent
Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?
 
William
A zombie in Las Vegas?
 
Vincent
You aren’t getting it
 
William
Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts?
 
Vincent
If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world
Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
 
William
Nice joke
 
Vincent
It’s not a joke
 
William
Uh huh and I’m not the King of England
 
Vincent
You’re not
 
William points at his crown
 
William
What’s this?
 
Vincent
A crown… I do not see why this is relevant
 
William
You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown
 
Vincent
You stole it from Burger King
 
William
You just Jelly that you don’t have one
 
Vincent
I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here
 
William
And I would offer them coke
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
Okay… we are getting off topic
 
William
Which is?
 
Vincent
ZOMBIES!!!
 
William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone
William
Putin my boy! What is up?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall
 
Kendrick
Hey!
 
The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened.
 
Jardy
Guys we have to leave
 
Higgins looks at Jardy oddly
 
Higgins
Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know
 
Jardy
It’s for protection
 
Higgins
Against what? Lesbian Vampires?
 
Jardy laughs
 
Jardy
No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for
 
Jardy looks around cautiously
 
Jardy
Zombies
 
Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma
 
Man
Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat
 
Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man
 
Ahma
Last ever? Why?
 
Man
You mean you don’t know?
 
Ahma
Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months.
 
Man
So you been in the woods that long?
 
Ahma
Yeah
 
Man
Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first!
 
The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him
 
Ahma
Mine! My precious!
 
Man
NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge?
 
Ahma
I thought someone just forgot it
 
Man
Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge?
 
Ahma
An idiot that’s who
 
Man
You calling me an idiot?
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William stands up as he finishes the phone call
 
William
I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready
 
William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent
 
William
Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside?
 
Vincent
Um… I did!
 
William
I thought you were kidding
 
Vincent points at the TV
 
Vincent
What part of that looks like a joke?
 
William looks at the TV and shrugs
 
William
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go!
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out.
 
Kendrick
Stop right there bud. I want no trouble
 
The figure continues to walk towards him
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition”
 
Draper
Fuck that’s messed up
 
Jardy
Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago
 
Higgins
Why didn’t we?
 
Jardy
I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it
 
Higgins
It was pretty good and very informative
 
Victor finishes his rum bottle
 
Victor
I agree
 
Victor burps
 
Victor
But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum
 
Draper pulls out a set of keys
 
Draper
Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze
 
Victor
No wonder you run shit
 
Higgins
What about me?
 
Victor
You? I don’t know why you are around
 
Higgins
Harsh
 
Jardy slams his fist down on the table
 
Jardy
Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge
 
Higgins
Got a car?
 
Jardy
Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power!
 
Higgins
Okay I’m sold!
 
Draper
You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit!
 
Higgins
You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama?
 
Jardy has a flashback
 
Draper
Oh yeah… Okay let’s go
 
The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback
 
Jardy
The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
 
Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys
 
Jardy
What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go!
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma
Wow! Now that’s a story
 
Man
Now to the question of the hour
 
Ahma
Hour? It really took that long to tell?
 
Man
It was a detailed story
 
Ahma
It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net
 
Man
So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you?
 
As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING

William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them
 
Vincent
Hey little dude you okay?
 
The boy does not say anything
 
Vincent
Give me the gun
 
A man walks out a room holding a baby.
 
Man
Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth
 
Vincent spins around to look at the man
 
Vincent
You are the father I assume?
 
Man
That would be me
 
Vincent
Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane
 
William
Shut up!
 
Vincent turns to William and whispers
 
Vincent
Why?
 
William
Because I don’t like to share!
 
Vincent
We have to help him he has two kids
 
William
If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself
 
Man
You do know we can hear you right?
 
William sighs
 
William
Welcome to the team
 
The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away.
 
Man
I’m Rick and he is Carl
 
William
That’s nice
 
Rick looks at William
 
Rick
You’re the king aren’t you?
 
William rolls his eyes
 
William
That would be me
 
The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick.
 
What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers! 

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something.
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
@Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world
 
Draper
Yo
 
Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper
 
Higgins
Me?
 
Draper looks around
 
Draper
Yeah who else?
 
Higgins shrugs
 
Higgins
Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly
 
Draper
Not to…
 
Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum
 
Victor
I have ideas
 
Draper
What kind?
 
Victor
Ones that will help the league
 
Higgins
Interesting
 
Victor
Indeed! They are very interesting
 
Draper
Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here?
 
Victor
Interesting things that you two would be interested in
 
Draper
Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk
 
Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table
 
Draper
You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper looks at Higgins
 
Draper
You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper
Stop
 
Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle.
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY

Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent
 
William
What exactly do you think you are doing?
 
Vincent
I thought you were dead
 
William
So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended.
 
Vincent
Not if you are undead
 
William
Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Higgins
So your idea is to screw over all teams but one.
 
Victor
Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win
 
Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought.
 
Draper
You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good
 
Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments
 
Higgins
You’re right
 
Victor
Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol
 
Draper
You always think about alcohol
 
Higgins
Because he’s an alcoholic
Draper snaps at Higgins
 
Draper
You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them
 
Higgins
No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce
 
Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum
 
Victor
Very True
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY
Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one”
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent
 
William
Zombies? In Vegas?
 
Vincent
No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you
 
William
A zombie?
 
Vincent
Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?
 
William
A zombie in Las Vegas?
 
Vincent
You aren’t getting it
 
William
Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts?
 
Vincent
If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world
Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
 
William
Nice joke
 
Vincent
It’s not a joke
 
William
Uh huh and I’m not the King of England
 
Vincent
You’re not
 
William points at his crown
 
William
What’s this?
 
Vincent
A crown… I do not see why this is relevant
 
William
You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown
 
Vincent
You stole it from Burger King
 
William
You just Jelly that you don’t have one
 
Vincent
I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here
 
William
And I would offer them coke
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
Okay… we are getting off topic
 
William
Which is?
 
Vincent
ZOMBIES!!!
 
William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone
William
Putin my boy! What is up?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall
 
Kendrick
Hey!
 
The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened.
 
Jardy
Guys we have to leave
 
Higgins looks at Jardy oddly
 
Higgins
Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know
 
Jardy
It’s for protection
 
Higgins
Against what? Lesbian Vampires?
 
Jardy laughs
 
Jardy
No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for
 
Jardy looks around cautiously
 
Jardy
Zombies
 
Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma
 
Man
Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat
 
Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man
 
Ahma
Last ever? Why?
 
Man
You mean you don’t know?
 
Ahma
Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months.
 
Man
So you been in the woods that long?
 
Ahma
Yeah
 
Man
Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first!
 
The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him
 
Ahma
Mine! My precious!
 
Man
NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge?
 
Ahma
I thought someone just forgot it
 
Man
Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge?
 
Ahma
An idiot that’s who
 
Man
You calling me an idiot?
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William stands up as he finishes the phone call
 
William
I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready
 
William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent
 
William
Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside?
 
Vincent
Um… I did!
 
William
I thought you were kidding
 
Vincent points at the TV
 
Vincent
What part of that looks like a joke?
 
William looks at the TV and shrugs
 
William
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go!
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out.
 
Kendrick
Stop right there bud. I want no trouble
 
The figure continues to walk towards him
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition”
 
Draper
Fuck that’s messed up
 
Jardy
Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago
 
Higgins
Why didn’t we?
 
Jardy
I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it
 
Higgins
It was pretty good and very informative
 
Victor finishes his rum bottle
 
Victor
I agree
 
Victor burps
 
Victor
But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum
 
Draper pulls out a set of keys
 
Draper
Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze
 
Victor
No wonder you run shit
 
Higgins
What about me?
 
Victor
You? I don’t know why you are around
 
Higgins
Harsh
 
Jardy slams his fist down on the table
 
Jardy
Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge
 
Higgins
Got a car?
 
Jardy
Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power!
 
Higgins
Okay I’m sold!
 
Draper
You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit!
 
Higgins
You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama?
 
Jardy has a flashback
 
Draper
Oh yeah… Okay let’s go
 
The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback
 
Jardy
The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
 
Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys
 
Jardy
What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go!
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma
Wow! Now that’s a story
 
Man
Now to the question of the hour
 
Ahma
Hour? It really took that long to tell?
 
Man
It was a detailed story
 
Ahma
It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net
 
Man
So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you?
 
As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING

William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them
 
Vincent
Hey little dude you okay?
 
The boy does not say anything
 
Vincent
Give me the gun
 
A man walks out a room holding a baby.
 
Man
Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth
 
Vincent spins around to look at the man
 
Vincent
You are the father I assume?
 
Man
That would be me
 
Vincent
Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane
 
William
Shut up!
 
Vincent turns to William and whispers
 
Vincent
Why?
 
William
Because I don’t like to share!
 
Vincent
We have to help him he has two kids
 
William
If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself
 
Man
You do know we can hear you right?
 
William sighs
 
William
Welcome to the team
 
The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away.
 
Man
I’m Rick and he is Carl
 
William
That’s nice
 
Rick looks at William
 
Rick
You’re the king aren’t you?
 
William rolls his eyes
 
William
That would be me
 
The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick.
 
What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers! 

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something.
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
@Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world
 
Draper
Yo
 
Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper
 
Higgins
Me?
 
Draper looks around
 
Draper
Yeah who else?
 
Higgins shrugs
 
Higgins
Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly
 
Draper
Not to…
 
Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum
 
Victor
I have ideas
 
Draper
What kind?
 
Victor
Ones that will help the league
 
Higgins
Interesting
 
Victor
Indeed! They are very interesting
 
Draper
Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here?
 
Victor
Interesting things that you two would be interested in
 
Draper
Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk
 
Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table
 
Draper
You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper looks at Higgins
 
Draper
You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper
Stop
 
Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle.
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY

Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent
 
William
What exactly do you think you are doing?
 
Vincent
I thought you were dead
 
William
So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended.
 
Vincent
Not if you are undead
 
William
Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Higgins
So your idea is to screw over all teams but one.
 
Victor
Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win
 
Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought.
 
Draper
You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good
 
Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments
 
Higgins
You’re right
 
Victor
Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol
 
Draper
You always think about alcohol
 
Higgins
Because he’s an alcoholic
Draper snaps at Higgins
 
Draper
You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them
 
Higgins
No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce
 
Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum
 
Victor
Very True
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY
Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one”
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent
 
William
Zombies? In Vegas?
 
Vincent
No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you
 
William
A zombie?
 
Vincent
Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?
 
William
A zombie in Las Vegas?
 
Vincent
You aren’t getting it
 
William
Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts?
 
Vincent
If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world
Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
 
William
Nice joke
 
Vincent
It’s not a joke
 
William
Uh huh and I’m not the King of England
 
Vincent
You’re not
 
William points at his crown
 
William
What’s this?
 
Vincent
A crown… I do not see why this is relevant
 
William
You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown
 
Vincent
You stole it from Burger King
 
William
You just Jelly that you don’t have one
 
Vincent
I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here
 
William
And I would offer them coke
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
Okay… we are getting off topic
 
William
Which is?
 
Vincent
ZOMBIES!!!
 
William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone
William
Putin my boy! What is up?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall
 
Kendrick
Hey!
 
The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened.
 
Jardy
Guys we have to leave
 
Higgins looks at Jardy oddly
 
Higgins
Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know
 
Jardy
It’s for protection
 
Higgins
Against what? Lesbian Vampires?
 
Jardy laughs
 
Jardy
No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for
 
Jardy looks around cautiously
 
Jardy
Zombies
 
Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma
 
Man
Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat
 
Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man
 
Ahma
Last ever? Why?
 
Man
You mean you don’t know?
 
Ahma
Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months.
 
Man
So you been in the woods that long?
 
Ahma
Yeah
 
Man
Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first!
 
The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him
 
Ahma
Mine! My precious!
 
Man
NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge?
 
Ahma
I thought someone just forgot it
 
Man
Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge?
 
Ahma
An idiot that’s who
 
Man
You calling me an idiot?
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William stands up as he finishes the phone call
 
William
I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready
 
William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent
 
William
Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside?
 
Vincent
Um… I did!
 
William
I thought you were kidding
 
Vincent points at the TV
 
Vincent
What part of that looks like a joke?
 
William looks at the TV and shrugs
 
William
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go!
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out.
 
Kendrick
Stop right there bud. I want no trouble
 
The figure continues to walk towards him
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition”
 
Draper
Fuck that’s messed up
 
Jardy
Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago
 
Higgins
Why didn’t we?
 
Jardy
I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it
 
Higgins
It was pretty good and very informative
 
Victor finishes his rum bottle
 
Victor
I agree
 
Victor burps
 
Victor
But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum
 
Draper pulls out a set of keys
 
Draper
Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze
 
Victor
No wonder you run shit
 
Higgins
What about me?
 
Victor
You? I don’t know why you are around
 
Higgins
Harsh
 
Jardy slams his fist down on the table
 
Jardy
Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge
 
Higgins
Got a car?
 
Jardy
Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power!
 
Higgins
Okay I’m sold!
 
Draper
You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit!
 
Higgins
You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama?
 
Jardy has a flashback
 
Draper
Oh yeah… Okay let’s go
 
The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback
 
Jardy
The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
 
Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys
 
Jardy
What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go!
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma
Wow! Now that’s a story
 
Man
Now to the question of the hour
 
Ahma
Hour? It really took that long to tell?
 
Man
It was a detailed story
 
Ahma
It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net
 
Man
So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you?
 
As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING

William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them
 
Vincent
Hey little dude you okay?
 
The boy does not say anything
 
Vincent
Give me the gun
 
A man walks out a room holding a baby.
 
Man
Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth
 
Vincent spins around to look at the man
 
Vincent
You are the father I assume?
 
Man
That would be me
 
Vincent
Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane
 
William
Shut up!
 
Vincent turns to William and whispers
 
Vincent
Why?
 
William
Because I don’t like to share!
 
Vincent
We have to help him he has two kids
 
William
If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself
 
Man
You do know we can hear you right?
 
William sighs
 
William
Welcome to the team
 
The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away.
 
Man
I’m Rick and he is Carl
 
William
That’s nice
 
Rick looks at William
 
Rick
You’re the king aren’t you?
 
William rolls his eyes
 
William
That would be me
 
The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick.
 
What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers! 

First off I would like to point out I do not watch “The Walking Dead” I think it’s stupid and just bad TV. BUT! Having said that, I need a new story to tell other than “Life In Times” So I will be switching it up this one week and that the next. This is the Zombie Apocalypse VHL style.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Sir William Covington is laying in his bed passed out from one of his epic parties. In runs Vincent Adultman @Nobody who begins to start to wake up William. William does not even move. Vincent looks down at William then rushes to the washroom to grab a glass of water. Vincent comes back and splashes William in the face with it. William doesn’t even flinch from the splash of water. Vincent grows concerned and begins to look around the room for something.
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick is watching Big Fat Greek Wedding in an empty movie theatre as he cries at the wedding scene and eats popcorn.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
@Draper and @Higgins are sitting back with their legs up on the table with no care in the world
 
Draper
Yo
 
Higgins looks around the room then back at Draper
 
Higgins
Me?
 
Draper looks around
 
Draper
Yeah who else?
 
Higgins shrugs
 
Higgins
Thought @Victor would be here he usually just interrupts us randomly
 
Draper
Not to…
 
Victor runs into the room out of breath as his drinks from a big bottle of rum
 
Victor
I have ideas
 
Draper
What kind?
 
Victor
Ones that will help the league
 
Higgins
Interesting
 
Victor
Indeed! They are very interesting
 
Draper
Interesting Vic my boy, what kind of interesting things are we talking about here?
 
Victor
Interesting things that you two would be interested in
 
Draper
Interesting! Sit down and let’s talk
 
Victor grabs the nearest seat to him and prepares to speak but Draper stops him and taps the table
 
Draper
You know the rules bud, feet up on the table at all times. We may run a league but we are relaxed while we do it
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper looks at Higgins
 
Draper
You didn’t need to agree there, it’s just how we do it so it’s gonna be how it’s done
 
Higgins
Agreed
 
Draper
Stop
 
Victor shrugs and puts his feet up on the table as he takes another chug from the rum bottle.
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY

Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
Vincent comes back into the room with a knife and goes towards William. As he holds the knife in both hands, Vincent holds it right above the head of William. Just as he is about to sink it into William’s head William opens his eyes and looks right up at Vincent
 
William
What exactly do you think you are doing?
 
Vincent
I thought you were dead
 
William
So you want to stab me in my head? Stabbing a dead person seems like overkill... pun intended.
 
Vincent
Not if you are undead
 
William
Undead? What you talkin’ bout Willis?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick leaves the theatre after the movie ends as he is wiping away the tears from his face. As he exits the theatre six he spots popcorn, bags, shoes and other personal items strewn all over the floor. Kendrick finds it odd but shrugs it off. As he walks towards the exit of the cinema he looks into other theatres to see them all empty but movies still playing.
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING

Higgins
So your idea is to screw over all teams but one.
 
Victor
Not any team but the shittiest of the shitty. Stockholm. They suck and you know it. We need to rig it so they win
 
Draper sits there thinking a moment as he rubs his chin like he is in deep thought.
 
Draper
You know this chin rubbing thing doesn’t help with thinking. But it sure does feel good
 
Higgins and Victor sit back and rub their chins for a few moments
 
Higgins
You’re right
 
Victor
Yeah… All I can do is think about alcohol
 
Draper
You always think about alcohol
 
Higgins
Because he’s an alcoholic
Draper snaps at Higgins
 
Draper
You can’t call an alcoholic an alcoholic it may depress them
 
Higgins
No that’s for a recovering alcoholic. You cannot bring up the sauce and bring any near them because they may jump off the wagon. But with Vic here we will never have to worry about that, because he most def is on the sauce
 
Victor finishes taking a swig from the bottle of Rum
 
Victor
Very True
 
EXT-SOMEWHERE IN FINLAND-DAY
Meanwhile somewhere in Finland Ahma is still looking for his lizard. Along the way Ahma sees a steaming bowl of porridge and a bottle of vodka. As he reaches down for them he gets caught in a net and a voice can be heard saying “I got one”
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William is now sitting on the couch with a crown on his head, he leans down to the glass table and does two lines of cocaine before raising his head up to look at Vincent
 
William
Zombies? In Vegas?
 
Vincent
No it’s wide spread. They say it’s airborne. Spreading really quickly. If you aren’t a zombie yet then you are immune to the airborne virus. But a Zombie can sit kill you
 
William
A zombie?
 
Vincent
Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?
 
William
A zombie in Las Vegas?
 
Vincent
You aren’t getting it
 
William
Are you sure it’s not just some drunk fuck high on bath salts?
 
Vincent
If it was one person maybe, but it’s all over the world
Vincent reaches for the TV remote and turns on the TV to LIVE BREAKING NEWS! ZOMBIE OUTBREAK
 
William
Nice joke
 
Vincent
It’s not a joke
 
William
Uh huh and I’m not the King of England
 
Vincent
You’re not
 
William points at his crown
 
William
What’s this?
 
Vincent
A crown… I do not see why this is relevant
 
William
You say I am not the king but I somehow got a crown
 
Vincent
You stole it from Burger King
 
William
You just Jelly that you don’t have one
 
Vincent
I really am not, you’re probably a wanted man. If there wouldn’t be a Zombie outbreak the Police would be here
 
William
And I would offer them coke
 
Vincent sighs
 
Vincent
Okay… we are getting off topic
 
William
Which is?
 
Vincent
ZOMBIES!!!
 
William’s cell phone begins to ring, he looks down to see it’s Vladimir Putin. He quickly answers the phone
William
Putin my boy! What is up?
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING

Kendrick nears the concession area when he hears a loud bang. As he cautiously nears the corner he slowly peeps his head around it to see even a bigger mess all over the floor. He then looks toward where sounds can be heard. He sees a figure standing at the other end of the big area. He thinks for a moment before stepping out from behind the wall
 
Kendrick
Hey!
 
The figure quickly looks over at Kendrick
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
As the three still sit there thinking over things in runs @JardyB10. Jardy is holding a very sharp pencil in one hand and what appears to be a dildo that has be sharpened.
 
Jardy
Guys we have to leave
 
Higgins looks at Jardy oddly
 
Higgins
Yeah… no shit. Why are you holding a sharp dildo?... Actually don’t answer that, I don’t want to know
 
Jardy
It’s for protection
 
Higgins
Against what? Lesbian Vampires?
 
Jardy laughs
 
Jardy
No, because they would just eat pussy to get the blood they need. This is for
 
Jardy looks around cautiously
 
Jardy
Zombies
 
Higgins, Draper and Victor burst out laughing
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma is hanging from the ceiling in the net as he eat porridge and clutches the bottle of vodka. A man walks out of the darkness and approaches Ahma
 
Man
Enjoy it because that will be the last porridge you ever eat
 
Ahma stops eating and looks up at the man
 
Ahma
Last ever? Why?
 
Man
You mean you don’t know?
 
Ahma
Know what? I’ve been looking for my lizard Liz for almost two months.
 
Man
So you been in the woods that long?
 
Ahma
Yeah
 
Man
Wow, do I ever have a story to tell you. But first!
 
The man reaches for the bottle that Ahma has. Ahma snaps at the man and hisses at him
 
Ahma
Mine! My precious!
 
Man
NO! It’s mine. Who takes another man’s drink and Porridge?
 
Ahma
I thought someone just forgot it
 
Man
Who would waste perfectly good Vodka and Porridge?
 
Ahma
An idiot that’s who
 
Man
You calling me an idiot?
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-MORNING
William stands up as he finishes the phone call
 
William
I’ll see there in two hours. Fire it up and have it ready
 
William hangs up his cellphone and looks at Vincent
 
William
Why in the fuck did you not tell me Zombies are running around outside?
 
Vincent
Um… I did!
 
William
I thought you were kidding
 
Vincent points at the TV
 
Vincent
What part of that looks like a joke?
 
William looks at the TV and shrugs
 
William
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have Putin and a private jet ready to get us out of here. So let’s fucking go!
 
INT-MOVIE THEATRE-MORNING
Kendrick and the mysterious figure look at each other. The figure begins to slowly make its way towards Kendrick moaning. Kendrick looks on oddly wondering what is going on. The figure begins to groan and stumble as it nears Kendrick. Just as the figure nears a light so Kendrick can see its face the power grid fails and the power goes out.
 
Kendrick
Stop right there bud. I want no trouble
 
The figure continues to walk towards him
 
INT-LEAGUE OFFICES-MORNING
Draper, Higgins and Victor are sitting back and watching a prepared video package by Jardy complete with episode one of “Zombiecast” and episode one of “Drivecast Zombie edition”
 
Draper
Fuck that’s messed up
 
Jardy
Yeah so we need to leave like… an hour ago
 
Higgins
Why didn’t we?
 
Jardy
I didn’t do all that work and not get recognition for it
 
Higgins
It was pretty good and very informative
 
Victor finishes his rum bottle
 
Victor
I agree
 
Victor burps
 
Victor
But I am not leaving without another bottle of Rum
 
Draper pulls out a set of keys
 
Draper
Already have that covered. We will just dip into the leagues “in case of emergency” stockpile of booze
 
Victor
No wonder you run shit
 
Higgins
What about me?
 
Victor
You? I don’t know why you are around
 
Higgins
Harsh
 
Jardy slams his fist down on the table
 
Jardy
Guys! Focus! We need to arm ourselves and get the fuck out of dodge
 
Higgins
Got a car?
 
Jardy
Once the power grid fails like it has in most parts of the world there will be no gas and no gas means no car. Luckily I had a horse drawn carriage at the farm. So I hooked up four Llamas and it’s ready to go. Nothing beats Llama power!
 
Higgins
Okay I’m sold!
 
Draper
You’re sold? Are you fucked? IT’S LLAMA’S!!!!! We will be dead as soon as we enter that shit!
 
Higgins
You fail to remember Jardy has experience with Llama’s. Remember Llama Drama?
 
Jardy has a flashback
 
Draper
Oh yeah… Okay let’s go
 
The three look at Jardy who is still in his flashback
 
Jardy
The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
 
Jardy snaps out of it and looks at the guys
 
Jardy
What are you guys doing standing around? Let’s go!
 
INT-HIDDEN LOCATION-DAY
Ahma
Wow! Now that’s a story
 
Man
Now to the question of the hour
 
Ahma
Hour? It really took that long to tell?
 
Man
It was a detailed story
 
Ahma
It was, it kept me on the edge of my seat... I mean net
 
Man
So are you with us or will we have to get rid of you?
 
As Ahma thinks about his decision another man is seen in the background by a fire eating what appears to be a lizard
 
INT-LAS VEGAS HOTEL-MORNING

William and Vincent leave the hotel room cautiously. As they cautiously walk down the hall they find a boy with a cowboy hat holding a gun. As they near the boy the boy looks shocked and scared at them
 
Vincent
Hey little dude you okay?
 
The boy does not say anything
 
Vincent
Give me the gun
 
A man walks out a room holding a baby.
 
Man
Do not take that gun from him. He just had to kill his mom who died after giving birth
 
Vincent spins around to look at the man
 
Vincent
You are the father I assume?
 
Man
That would be me
 
Vincent
Well if you guys want you can come with us. We have a plane
 
William
Shut up!
 
Vincent turns to William and whispers
 
Vincent
Why?
 
William
Because I don’t like to share!
 
Vincent
We have to help him he has two kids
 
William
If we help him then we will have to help every Dick and Jane out there and I will not do that. I look out for myself
 
Man
You do know we can hear you right?
 
William sighs
 
William
Welcome to the team
 
The man sticks out his hand that Vincent gladly knocks shakes but William knocks away.
 
Man
I’m Rick and he is Carl
 
William
That’s nice
 
Rick looks at William
 
Rick
You’re the king aren’t you?
 
William rolls his eyes
 
William
That would be me
 
The episode ends with shots of William’s group taking the elevator to the casino, Jardy and the guys running towards the carriage, Ahma thinking in the net and the figure nearing Kendrick.
 
What will happen next episode? Will William learn to be a team player? Will Ahma join forces or will he die like his lizard? With Llama power get league management out of town safely? And will Kendrick even make it out of the movie theatre alive? Stay tuned fuckers! 

Um FYI... Usually when someone says something like there is three rookies for example and then the next thing they say is buy in all seriousness they are most likely joking around.

Well FUCK YES!

With the end of the season soon nearing every team in the league will be looking forward to the draft and free agency. But in Davos they have zero idea where their GM Ahma is. No one really has talked to him in a while and the one person who knows where he is and why he is gone is not saying a word about it. To make matters worse Sir William Covington III is entering his rookie season in Davos and year two of his contract. Which should not be troubling to most teams but here is the twist in the story. Covington owns a player option on year three and can opt out of that option at any time. Most people expected him not to pick it up but people close to the situation said that William was never going to pick it up but would have signed for more money in Davos because of Ahma.
 
But now Ahma is gone, might even be gone for good. Which will make Covington feel he has to be loyal to the team that drafted him and he may look for employment elsewhere in the league. But the true kicker here is that Covington is the one true person other then Ahma that knows where the drunk finnish fuck went. But you will not get that out of Convington anytime soon. He said today in a press release "I will not tell anyone because he wants to keep it a secret so all of you can fuck off. Secondly if Ahma does not return I will not return to Davos for a second season simple as that. This is a promise so if they replace him the new GM will have a whole season to try trade my rights because well... He won't have me beyond this season"

INT-CASINO VILLA-MORNING
 
Sir William Covington III is passed out on an inflated raft with a tanning board. A very frantic Ahma runs into the villa yelling and screaming looking for something
 
Ahma
Guys! Guys!
 
Ahma frantically looks around the villa flipping over couches and other things. He is clearly not looking for William or Putin. Ahma spots William in the pool and runs to him before belly flopping into the pool. A he comes up for air he screams in pain but swims to William frantically. He pulls William off the raft to wake him up but William sinks to the bottom of the pool. After a brief moment Ahma dives down and pulls William up. William wakes up as Ahma is pulling him out of the pool. William looks around in amazement.
 
William
What’s going on? You teaching me how to sleep swim? Is that what it is? I can drown you know
 
Ahma
No! I lost Liz
 
William
Liz? What’s a Liz?
 
Ahma looks at William oddly
 
Ahma
You know
 
William
No I do not
 
Ahma
My lizard! I bring him everywhere I go
 
William
Not when I am around
 
Ahma
Yes I do, He’s always around me and I’m always around you. But now… He’s gone!
 
William
Hmmmm interesting… Tell someone that cares
 
Ahma
But…
 
William
If if’s and buts would be candy and nuts I’d be a fat guy
 
Ahma
So you won’t help me find Liz?
 
William
Wait… You named your lizard Liz? Do you have an ounce of originality in you?
 
Ahma
Shut up!
 
William stands up and walks to the bar
 
William
Ok… but first I need to get drunk. Secondly…
 
Ahma
Drunk? To go Lizard finding?
 
William
SECONDLY! If you don’t mind. We need to find Putin
 
Ahma rolls his eyes
 
Ahma
Why him?
 
William
Will you stop interrupting me?
 
Ahma
Yes
 
William
That counts as an interruption… As I was about to say. Putin is an excellent tracker and he will find your lizard in oh about two minutes. Give or take a day or few or… never
 
Ahma begins to cry
 
Ahma
Never? You really Liz is gone to the rock cave in the sky?
 
William
Rock cave in the sky? Are you fucked?
 
Ahma uncontrollably cries
 
Ahma
Please help me
 
William
I will bud, but as I said before I need to get downright Jim Lahey blue smurf drunk. Because that’s the only state of mind I can be in when dealing with such boring things like a Lizard hunt.
 
Ahma
Oh god! Not blue smurf drunk
 
William chugs from a bottle of Patron Vodka
 
William
The only way it’s gonna happen bud
 
William goes back to chugging the vodka. Ahma tilts the bottle more
 
Ahma
Drink up
 
INT-CASINO FLOOR-DAY

Putin sitting at a poker table playing a game with a few other random people. The cards are dealt and Putin looks at his cards for maybe a second to about a second and a half. The intense look on his face does not change. Three out of the five people he is playing look at their cards and then at Putin trying to read him. They all fold at the same time. Putin does not even look at the remaining players he sits there almost staring into blank space. Player one smiles as he looks at his cards yet again and a smile comes across his face as he tosses five thousand to the center of the table. Player two thinks for a second then looks at his cards before he matches the five thousand. Almost instantly without looking at his cards again Putin matches the bet. After Player one and two check Putin ups his bet by fifty thousand. Players think for a second and they match his bet. The dealer now deals the flop which turns out to be Ace of Spades, five of Spades and two of spades. Player two gets upset by the flop and tosses his cards into the middle
 
Player two
I fold
 
Putin smirks a bit but still intensely looks off to the distance. Player One looks at Player Two
 
Player One
I got it this time
 
Player One tosses one hundred thousand into the middle without thinking. Putin matches the bet the ups it with five hundred thousand
 
Dealer
Vladimir Putin ups his bet by hundred thousand. Player One your move
 
Player One looks at his cards then at the cards on the table.
 
Player One
I got this
 
Player one matches the bet. The dealer burns one card then puts the turn card on the table which is the six of spades. Player One almost jumps out of his seat in excitement. Just as a very drunk William walks up to him with Ahma. Putin signals them to wait a minute without looking. Like he was expecting them. Putin now pushes all his chips into the middle of the table.
 
Dealer
Vladimir Putin is all in with five point two million
 
Player One pushes all his chips into the middle of the table also
 
Dealer
Pot now sits at eight point nine four million
 
People cheer and gasp in amazement as Player One stands to say something
 
Player One
Gather round everyone, come witness me beat the President of Russia
 
Player One cockily tosses his cards on the table revealing that he has the Three of Spades, four of Spades a pair of kings an a queen so all he needs is the seven of spades to complete the full house.
 
Player One
With all due respect Vladi boy, eat shit
 
Dealer
Sit down sir
 
Player One
I’ll stand celebrate my victory
 
Dealer
I wouldn’t if I were you
 
Player One
I’m not scared
 
Dealer
Not saying you are but I still wouldn’t
 
Player One
Deal the card
 
The dealer burns a card then reveals the river card to be a Two of diamonds. Player one thinks for a second that if he can still win
Player one
I win with a pair and high card. There is no way he has anything
 
Putin grabs his cards and slowly one by one flips over first revealing the six of hearts.
 
Dealer
Vladimir Putin wins with two sixes
 
Player one sits down in his chair in amazement
 
Player One
How? He beat me? With two sixes? WHAT THE FUCK! He cheated!
 
Dealer
That is impossible
 
Putin stands up tosses the rest of his cards on the table revealing he had three sixes and two two’s in hand. Giving him two four of a kind’s. Putin tosses the three sixes at the player as he grabs the chips
 
Putin
Those are for you as clown
 
Dealer
Correction Vladimir Putin wins with four sixes and four two’s.
 
Putin signals his security detail to bring his chips to the room before he turns to William and Ahma
 
Putin
What seems to be the problem?
 
William is incoherently drunk
 
Putin
Must be meaningless if you let him get this drunk
 
Ahma
I couldn’t stop him
 
Putin
You could have come up with a better reason why you need our help so he would care more and drink less. You now how he gets when is this drunk. Soon he will be fucking all the hot women and snorting all the coke leaving none for me. He’s a real dick when he is blue smurf drunk
 
Ahma
But… but… Liz is gone
 
Putin
A les is gone? Look Ahma you are an okay looking guy but you aren’t good enough looking or good enough in the sack to make a les turn straight or even bi. You should aim to make them smile or some shit like that. Let me get you a cheap whore and you will forget about that lesbian
 
Ahma
NOT LES! I SAID LIZ! MY LIZARD!
 
Putin
Liz the lizard? Can you be more lame then that?
 
William
That’s what she said
 
Putin
I will help you Ahma but…
 
Ahma rolls his eyes since he knows what is coming. Ahma and Putin at the same time say “I need to get drunk” Ahma then snaps his fingers so a waitress appears with a full bottle vodka almost like Ahma knew what he needed to do so Putin can help. William tries to grab the bottle but falls flat on the ground
 
William
I’m getting drunk boys
 
Ahma
But you are already drunk
 
William
I’m getting drunk boys
 
INT-VILLA-DAY
Putin kicks open the villa door and drunkenly stumbles towards Ahma’s room.
 
Putin
If I remember correctly me and willie boy played a joke on you last night. You passed out after six bumps of coke and two bottles of vodka.
 
Putin leads them all to the door of Ahma’s room
 
Putin
We bought the dirtiest and I mean dirtiest whore on the strip since we didn’t want to waste money on one. We got her loaded up and laid her on you in your bed so when you woke up you would think you cheated on your whore fiancée. Well you woke up from your slumber shouting something about your hair being on fire which I think you mistook the crabs you got from her as fire and you ran out of her not even noticing the hooker. So long story short me and willie wanted to see how loose she was we put thinks like a bat, vodka bottle, shampoo bottle in her but that was not good enough. We wanted to gerble her but we had no gerble so we uh… Lizarded her.
 
Putin opens the door to reveal the hooker still on the bed with a lizard between her legs not moving. Ahma screams and runs and pulls Liz out of the whore
 
Ahma
He’s dead you assholes
 
Putin
That’s life
 
Ahma
He was my best friend and now he is gone
 
Putin
Wrong buddy, we’re your best friends
 
Ahma
No because best friends would never do this to each other. Now you two drunk fucks must come help me bury him
 
Putin
Why don’t we bury him her pussy and call it a day
 
Ahma
NO! You two are coming and that’s that
 
Putin
Do we have to?
 
Ahma
Yes! Now let’s go
 
EXT-POOL SIDE-DAY

A stream of liquid is hitting the pool like someone is pissing into the pool. As we pan back we see Putin putting lighter fluid on a box that is floating on the water.
 
Ahma
I would like to say a few words. Liz you were my best friend, you were always there for me when I was down. For that I thank you. You may have been a lizard but you had a heart of gold. Thank you for listening to me all those times I needed to talk to someone
 
Putin and William burst out laughing
 
William
Talking to a lizard
 
Ahma
May you rest peacefully in the sky my little dude
 
William
Or at least in a deep, wet loose pussy
 
Ahma glares at William
 
Ahma
Now you
 
William
Putin first
 
Putin thinks for a second
 
Putin
I wish I knew you Liz… actually don’t but that’s between me and you. But you kept our little finnish buddy sane so thank you for that. Now we go to the store to replace your ass easily because who really will miss a lizard?
 
William pats Putin on the back
 
William
That was good bud. Wish I came up with it.
 
William thinks for a second
 
William
You liked to fuck around and fuck around you did till your last dying breath which happened to be inside a skanky pussy. You lived life like any lizard would with a bump of coke here and there and a bowl filled with vodka. Most of time I thought you were dead but you were passed out… Wait what if he is passed out boys? Eh who cares. Peace you green fuck.
 
Ahma lights a match as he cries
 
Ahma
Goodbye little dude
 
He tosses the match at the box but nothing happens. He tries over and over but still nothing. William grabs the boxes of matches and dumps fluid on it then sets that on fire before tossing the burning matches on the floating box.
 
William
So long dick weasel
 
Hearing William call the lizard a dick weasel and seeing his lizard’s box go up in flames makes Ahma cry even more before he looks at Putin
 
Ahma
Make him say sorry for calling Liz a dick weasel
 
Putin
No can do buddy, no can do
 
Ahma snobs as the box floats away on fire we now see everyone by the pool not knowing what to do as this goes on. Putin leans in and whispers in Ahma’s ear
 
Putin
Oh the hooker is dead also you might want to get rid of the body before house cleaning comes
 
Ahma in disbelief looks at Putin not knowing what to say
 
Ahma
What?
 
Putin
She’s your hooker, so go out to the desert and bury her skank ass. No one will miss her loose pussy… well maybe Liz will. But he’s also dead to
 
Ahma bursts into tears
 
Putin
It’s okay bud, take a rental car and come back after. But make sure it’s at least eight feet deep. Normally six feet is good enough but add two feet cause you can smell that pussy from a mile away.
 
Ahma
What is eight feet? I go by meters
 
Putin
Google it bud.
 
Putin and William start to walk away as Ahma stands there in tears. The episode ends with Ahma saying something in Finnish that roughly translates to “I will bury her but then I will disappear to make you ass clowns miss me”

Life in Times will take a different way of presenting its weekly episode. Fans tonight will be treated to a real treat. Welcome to Life In Times Valentines edition. The second worst day of the year right after tax day. Unless you are gay or a woman. Then you love this day.
 
EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY

We start with shots of a male lion and female lion walking side by side
 
Narrator
We see the king of the animal kingdom taking a walk with his bitch as his side. Even in the animal kingdom the female of the pride nags the male to take them out on this day. Even if they do live outdoors. The male lion looks at his bitch and wonders when he can go back to eating the antelope that he just killed.
 
We cut back to the lion taking down the antelope and showing off to his bitch that he is a powerful big man. The female rolls her eyes and walks away with their child in their mouth so it does not see its father be “stupid”
 
EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY

A male kangaroo is boxing with another kangaroo as the little roo watches his dad. The mother kangaroo and smacks the male kangaroo in the head before picking up the roo and putting him in her pouch.
 
Narrator
Women want equal rights and that’s fair they deserve it but for it to be equal they have to treat us the same way that they expect us to treat them. But it will never be the same. The Women species is always looking to ruin our fun. The Poor kangaroo just wanted to kick stupid kangaroo’s ass but the women smacked him in front of their kid to show their kid that his father is an idiot.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-DAY

Ahma sits on a couch in a Las Vegas Villa looking at a photo of his girlfriend back at him in Finland. The sounds of sex fill the villa. Ahma puts earplug into his ears to drown out the sex.
 
Narrator
Now we see the human male that is already taken, but he does not celebrate being away from the moody bloody female. He misses her as the other alpha males are having fun and are “crushing” females.
 
After a while Sir William Covington comes out of his room in a silk robe. He is shoving a random out the front door of the villa before he walks to the kitchen in the villa to look for food. He looks into the fridge to see nothing. He slams the door and looks over at Ahma
 
Narrator
Now we see the true alpha of the alphas, the so called man’s man. This is the man that everyone wants to be. He does not think with his heart he thinks with his dick. Like every man should. After totally destroying that female’s holes he kicked her to the curb and now is hungry. But the Beta male has forgotten to stock the fridge with so called after fuck food.
 
William walks over to Ahma and snatches the picture out of hands and looks at It
William
Who’s this whore? She looks loose at fuck but still a good lay. She sure looks like she can take a pounding
 
Ahma
That’s my fiancée
 
William laughs
 
William
Fiancee? And you are here on Valentines day? Boy will she ever be mad at you… But! Look at the bright side
 
Ahma reaches for the picture which William does not allow Ahma to take from him.
 
Ahma
Which is?
 
William
Um… that you can crush pussy with me and Putin
 
Ahma looks towards a close bedroom door
 
Ahma
Well isn’t he married?
 
William
This is Vegas whatever happens here stays here
 
Ahma
Well I’m not like that. I am loyal to the end just like I am in Hockey
 
William laughs
 
William
No wonder you suck
 
Narrator
The alpha male will always take any opportunity to point out that they are the alpha. The Beta does not have anything they can do about it. Unless there is a second Alpha. If that is the situation you find yourself in then you should either run for the hills or grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.
 
Putin walks out of the room with two models on other either side of him. He smacks their ass and says “out” they listen and leave. He looks at Ahma then at William. He now grabs the picture from William and looks at it
 
Putin
Who’s this cock sucking whore?
 
Ahma gets upset and stands up to get in Putins face
 
Ahma
That’s my fiancée so give me the picture back
 
Putin gives the picture a closer look
 
Putin
She look familiar
 
Ahma
What?
 
A smile comes across the face of Putin
 
Putin
Yeah it’s Pilllu… god she gave amazing head and that hole of hers is toight. But to be nice to little Ahma we should call her Pimppi
 
William laughs
 
William
Hahahaha so she’s a pimp? A woman pimp? Wow they really taking this equality right to everywhere
 
Putin
Pillu is finnish for Cunt and Pimppi is pussy
 
William and Putin high five
 
Ahma
SHUT UP! I HAD ENOUGH! Give me back the picture. You guys are my bro’s but you take this shit to new levels.
 
Putin looks at the picture and grabs his crotch
 
Putin
He remembers her also
 
Putin shrugs and tosses the picture across the room shattering the frame into pieces.
 
Putin
Fetch bitch!
 
Narrator
In a two alpha male situation you the beta will always be picked on till you cannot take it anymore. But there is always a silver lining to everything. Sometimes you have more than them even if you cannot see it. There are theories out there that alpha males like these two only are the way they are because they are compensating for not having a good woman to love them. Putin is married yes, but let’s be honest he is not faithful and William is way too conceded to even date. Ahma on the other hand is engaged. Too a whore maybe but still is engaged to some that he loves. Does she love him? Who knows but we all know something she does love and that is the dick.
 
EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY
We see the lion eating the antelope as the other lions watch while they lick their mouths.
 
Narrator
Back with the lions we now see the male lion tearing into the antelope that it took down earlier in the day. The female looks on as the male does not share with anyone else. But the naturally big heart of the lion grows one extra size today because today is the day of love or as the easily forfeiting French would say jour de l’amour. So he decides to share his kill with his bitch in hopes he will get it in tonight and not have her try and say no. Like that even works.
 
EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY
The male kangaroo is hopping along looking for something.
 
Narrator
The male kangaroo may not think he did something wrong but the female makes it seem like it so now the male has to make it up to his bitch or he won’t be getting any that night.
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-DAY
Ahma picks the picture off the ground and returns to William and Putin
 
Ahma
Look what you did to Elinor, you dirtied her up
 
William
Elinor? What kind of old age name is that? Is she Elinor the time traveling whore?
 
Putin
Ah yes Ellie. God she was a good filthy whore. Trust me she’s way more dirty then the floor is in this villa.
 
Ahma
THAT’S IT! I’m leaving. If I leave now I may be able to get back to her by tomorrow and make it up to her that I was with you two today instead of her.
 
Ahma begins to pack his bags as Putin and William laugh
 
Putin
Ain’t that cute? He thinks he is leaving
 
William pats Ahma on the head like he is a little kid
 
William
I like when he gets mad, it’s funny
 
Putin
I think someone needs Porridge
 
Ahma glares at Putin
 
Ahma
Don’t you dare bring my second love into this
 
Putin
What? I think you would calm down over a bowl of porridge
 
Ahma
I will not! This time you two fucks went over the edge
 
Putin
We go over it every day, what’s so different today?
 
Ahma looks around the villa
 
Ahma
First off you guys got the two bedroom villa over the three bedroom villa for some stupid reason. It’s complementary you know? That means it’s free! I would like to sleep on a bed and not a couch that had god knows how many naked asses on it. Secondly…
 
William
Ain’t that cute he made a list
 
Ahma
WILL YOU LET ME FINISH?
 
William
Sure
 
Ahma
Secondly! I miss my beautiful non dirty whore
 
Putin whispers at William
 
Putin
But she is one
 
Ahma
I heard that!... but as I was saying. She is not a dirty whore. I miss her with all my heart. She is my world. On this day on this one day I hoping the future of the Davos franchise would put on his big boy pants so he wouldn’t do anything stupid or moronic so I could go home and see her. But no! I have to baby sit you so the pick we used on you will not go to waste.
 
William
But I am wasted
 
Ahma
Shut up! Thirdly and lastly….
 
William
Is thirdly even a word?
 
Ahma glares at William
 
Ahma
You two mock me at every turn and I do mean every turn. No matter how little it is. You think it’s funny and usually I am too drugged and drunk out of my mind to even care but today on this day where I miss my girl so much I am sober! Sober like a fucking judge
 
William
Then you haven’t met the judges I know
 
Putin laughs
 
Putin
I just realized he said asses
 
William grabs a bottle of finnish vodka
 
William
Quick hold him down he needs to get drunk
 
Ahma begins to slam clothes from the ground into his suitcase
 
Ahma
Vittu Tata Paskaa
 
Putin
He’s going all finnish on us
 
William
Okay now we know he is serious
 
Ahma points at Putin
 
Ahma
You are the Piru
 
He now points at William
 
Ahma
And you are Saatana
 
Putin
Now you are splitting hairs
 
Ahma zips up his luggage
 
Ahma
And I’m gone
 
William
No you are still standing right here
 
Ahma
And you guys just can’t stop. Can’t you two just see I miss my fiancée and try to make me happy and not make me mad?
 
Putin
I still think porridge will help defuse the situation
 
William
Like it did The Whorridge Party of 2015
 
Ahma
Don’t you dare even bring that up
 
Ahma has a flashback of everyone covered in porridge
 
Ahma
The horror! Oh god the horror! So much wasted porridge
 
Putin
We had a crab’s scare we had to act fast. They apparently don’t like porridge
 
Ahma
That’s false! You just got so drunk and high that you morons went swimming in porridge
 
Putin looks at William
 
Putin
Time for another Whorridge party?
 
Ahma drops his bags and rushes to the kitchen to grab boxes of porridge
 
Ahma
No you will not! It’s not their fault that you two are rich ass clowns that use it for other than eating
 
Ahma holds the boxes tight
 
 
Ahma
I will stay for them so you two don’t use them for stupid reasons
 
Putin
We knew you would stay
 
Ahma glares at Putin
 
Ahma
Shut up
 
EXT-SOUTH AFRICA-DAY
The female lion gets up after eating and nudges the male who is trying to lick blood off his fur coat.
 
Narrator
The female lion now knows what she has to do because male did his job and provided for his family and pride. So now it’s time for her to do her job and please her man.
 
The male lion roars at his bitch but then gets up and follows her into the cave as the sun sets on South Africa
 
EXT-AUSTRALIA-DAY
A male kangaroo hops back to the female kangaroo with flowers in hand and hanging his head. She looks at the flowers then at her man. She kangaroo kicks him to the ground and gets on top
 
Narrator
Lesson learned, no matter human or animal all females can melt at the sight of flowers. If you want a little something on this day of love then buy some stupid flowers or at least go few houses down the road like I did and rip the flowers out of the garden. Because I learned last year a woman knows the flowers of her own garden. Don’t shit where you eat boys, don’t do it!
 
INT-LAS VEGAS VILLA-NIGHT
Putin and William are trying to make up for fucking around earlier so they are making Ahma porridge in the kitchen. William takes a big drink from a bottle of Finnish Vodka. Then pours the rest into the porridge
 
William
Needs more kick
 
Putin
Agreed, it’s too light for Mr. Downer
 
Ahma walks out of the washroom in a robe he walks to the kitchen excited because he smells porridge
 
Ahma
Please don’t tell me Whorridge is tonight
 
 
William
Nah scheduling it for next weekend. Tonight I have a surprise for the both of you
 
Ahma looks concerned
 
Ahma
Oh god what is it?
 
William takes out a key card from his suit jacket and hands it to Ahma
 
William
There is a certain someone that may or may not have three holes in a villa that has three bedrooms that we will move into tomorrow.
 
Ahma
I am not fucking a hooker
 
Putin
You already do
 
Ahma
Shut it
 
William
No not a hooker. I knew you missed that dirty slut so I flew her in.
 
William looks at his Rolex watch
 
William
She probably is in there right now and probably prepping for a nice slow fuck or however you two fuck
 
Ahma
Ahmastyle
 
William
What?
 
Ahma
Nothing…
 
Ahma leaves as he grabs a bowl of Vodka and Porridge
 
Ahma
This tastes different
 
The door closes. William turns to Putin
 
 
Putin
What will we do? The kid is out we have the fuck palace too ourselves
 
A knock on the door can be heard.
 
William
I was going to invite your wife here for you…
 
Putin
Why would you do that?
 
William
But then I remembered you would hate that. So I got you four hookers for the next twenty four hours.
 
Putin hugs William then answers the door. As Putin disappears into his room William leaves the villa. In the elevator there is a moment where maybe just maybe William looks sad that he is alone but his phone rings and he answers.
 
William
Hey! The kids are taken care of. I’m on my way.
 
Narrator
Moral of the story is even the biggest dicks have someone that they go home too. Be it a lion that does not share, a kangaroo that likes to fight, a Finnish moron that dates an ex hooker, A President that much rather have four hookers or the rightful King that reserves his so called mythical heart for a true gem. So pretend to care on this day and get it in boys! That is the true meaning of this day for us men.
 
The episode ends with a Montague of Ahma seeing Elinor in bed in lingerie, Putin having fun with the hookers, the bedroom closing on the camera as Ahma walks towards Elinor and William walking up to a door that says “Penthouse”. The episode fades to black as he opens the door.