Gustav

And VHL, so now it's not ridiculous that you were included in my article.

PLEASE MAKE THRAN YOUR INTERIM AGM

Bet he also unironically enjoys grocery store music.

Interesting--does not winning a cup really do that much to keep a player out of the Hall of Fame?

Get good, be GM, get good again.

So you're a new guy in the league, and you look at me and think, "Man, I want to be that guy." Or maybe you want to be a GM. That's cool too. What I'd like to do here is give a nice general picture of what a nice solid GM looks like, in my opinion solely--this isn't a definitive guide, but if you do everything here you'll be a GM in good time, and not the worst GM out there at that. So here goes... How do I become a GM? 1. Be active. Are you a welfare guy? Do you come on every week for 6-10 TPE, and then log out until next week? Sorry, but that won't do anything for you. If you want to run a team, you have to demonstrate that you're both willing and able to put lots of time into it. This isn't for everyone, as it's important to note--some people don't want to be on every day (not that you need to be on for extended periods of time every day, but some people are) and some are just too busy, and that's OK. You don't need a ton of time for GMing itself, but to be hired, the commissioners need to at least know who you are before you apply--they won't hire just anyone in this day and age. 2. Do something to get yourself noticed. The very first things I ever wrote in this league were meme-y high effort shitposts. Those who were around may remember these as the "Halifax is a Satanic cult" articles, which I wrote more because I didn't know enough to write a serious article yet than for any other reason. Eventually I transitioned into more serious writing and really big articles (as far as media spots are concerned), but what's the point here, anyway? It's my opinion that you should do something unique, not just to stand out, but because it's something you want to do, whether it's a weekly article on a unique topic, some creativity in your graphics, or anything else you can think of. It's not necessary, but it's a big help. 3. Apply for every job you think sounds interesting, not just GM jobs. Any job at all, if done well and punctually, will demonstrate your competence. And a nice demonstration of competence is--shocker!--exactly what you need to be hired for other, perhaps higher-level, jobs...GM jobs, for one. Let's say you wouldn't mind writing for VSN, but you want to be a GM too. A VSN application thread pops up. Nothing stopping you from doing both; you can have multiple jobs in this league. Plus, it gets you some nice experience doing a job every week for TPE, a nice green light on any application. You'd be shocked at how quickly you might see yourself getting hired, too--I was hired as GM after only one season, and so were many others. 4. If you're an AGM, be a good one. If you're lucky enough to be hired as someone's AGM, congrats! You've found a nice opportunity for experience, and you'll learn quite a bit if you do quite a bit. Download the STHS V3 Client (find it here) and learn how to create and send in lines. Ask your GM all the questions you have--they'll be happy to answer, as it makes you both better GMs. Help with scouting, help out with draft boards, write out press conference questions, and be a nice, active presence in the locker room. While you shouldn't be expected to be the GM (and, in fact, you shouldn't be the GM, which we'll get to later), a good AGM makes their time worthwhile, and uses it to pick up all the skills necessary for management. 5. DON'T GET DISCOURAGED. Even if you see people who created after you, with less experience, without a job, without having served time as an AGM anywhere, being hired over you (and yes, it does happen, like it or not), don't freak out. It's not your fault that you weren't hired, and it isn't anyone else's, either. I haven't seen a hire yet that was, in my opinion, a bad one--lots of good people apply for jobs these days, and so it follows that only one of these good people can get the job (talk to Thranduil, who was infamously AGM in Halifax for three whole seasons). The commissioners know what they're doing, and if you stay on the right track for long enough, your time will come. What do I do if I get hired? 1. Scout the hell out of the league, and be prepared for drafts and trades. Sitting back and guessing based on TPE rankings won't do it for you, and neither will anything else uninformed. You don't have to know everything about every single player in the draft, but at least go into the draft having taken a look at each one and knowing a thing or two (or having a thing or two written down). What kind of build is this player? Does this player have a good build? What's this player's earn rate? Welfare only? 8-10 TPE? Maxer-outer? Does it even matter if they're high enough? If they've been around a while, do you recall seeing the user around the forum? If they haven't, has the user done anything to demonstrate enthusiasm? These are all questions a successful GM should take into account, and the answers here can make or break a team. Moreover, the same needs to be done with a trade--you don't need to know every player on every team, but take a close look at every player involved, on both sides, and ask the same questions. 2. Make a locker room, and do your best to make it active. I don't care if it's Discord or a forum group. Either will work, and both have produced successful members. You will be hired as VHLM GM before you can ever hope to be a VHL GM, and your job as VHLM GM, believe it or not, is not primarily to win, but to retain and develop new members (and, yes, when you do this well, wins will come your way). The locker room is where this is done, and I can speak from personal experience, having learned most of what I know today in my team's locker room in my rookie season. A good GM answers all questions that arise--and when they don't know the answer, they find it. Be friendly to your players, too, even if you don't like them (and to any Hounds players or alumni reading this, don't worry, I love you all). If your locker room keeps your players active, you're officially a success regardless of your record. 3. Give your team an identity. Don't leave your team at just "hey, what's up, we're the [insert team name here]". Nothing could be more boring. Think of something you could give your team. Would you give them a mascot? A goal song? Official jersey designs? I could go on. Write a few articles about your team, and make them unique. Give your players some fresh-looking sigs, if graphics are your thing. Let your players choose jersey numbers and do team-y things like voting on captains and awards. If you can make your team stand out from the rest, your players will be happy to play for you, and that will lead to quite a bit more success. 4. Hire an AGM. Lots of people, myself included, are of the opinion that AGMs are completely unnecessary, and that a good GM is more than capable of running a team singlehandedly (and I happen to also know that @Banackock doesn't love the fact that AGMs even exist). This is true--AGMs are 100% unnecessary. Having said that, though, I love having an AGM, and wouldn't change that for anything. Why? To me, having an active locker room is essential to a team's success, and the more active people I can get who are devoted to my team above all others, the better. An AGM gives me someone else who players look up to, who knows what they're doing and who is there to answer questions and be the players' best friend whenever I'm not. The management help simply happens to be a nice bonus, though one I'll happily accept. 5. Experiment. Don't make one set of lines and leave it there for the entire season. Move players around and move sliders around, and see what happens and what works. Last season, I happened to stumble upon a magical combination of players and sliders that made one of my lines exponentially and inexplicably better. STHS is weird like that, so don't question it and don't be afraid to try whatever comes to mind. 6. Ask questions, and make sure you're staying within the rules with everything you do. It's much, much better to ask a question about something, and look like an idiot for doing so, then it is to go and do it and find out that it was illegal. In the eyes of the commissioners, too, asking questions is good, while acting outside of the rules, whether intentionally or not, just makes you look dumb and causes frustration. Long story short, if you don't know about something, DON'T DO IT until you do. If you do screw something up, though (and everyone does at some point), it's best to take responsibility for your actions and do what you can to fix the situation, rather than making it more of an issue than it needs to be. And that's about it. If you're thinking about GMing, why not give it a go? 1621 words, will claim for three weeks if I so desire.

Gustav Effect Intensifies

Gold: Canada Silver: Europe Bronze: USA MVP: Cody Smith

This aged well.

*grammar

Hire this guy! Almost took him over berocka and I'm confident he'll do just as well. Underrated as a locker room guy and writes great articles.

Word on the street is that he tied bana to a chair and Fortnite danced for 10 hours straight in front of him. @Nykonax confirm

Soon? It's been happening before he was even hired.

Beat you to it with the Downey trade. ?

Wait, this guy won the award by a wide margin, and complained because the vote wasn't unanimous? I'd always thought it was because he deserved the award, but was voted out of it. Still not taking a side, but that's ridiculous.

Looks like Mississauga has sufficiently corrupted Esso.

5 dollars says @JeffD had to stop himself from the FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY autocorrect at least twice.

Our first post-trade deadline presser, for the week ending 8/11... 1. The trade deadline is come and gone, and today we yeeted traded our top forward, Jaxon Walker, for a 2nd-round draft pick. Was this a good move? Would you consider our rebuild this season a success? 2. In another move made today, we brought back a Hounds alum, @GlowyGoat, by sending a 4th-round pick to Vegas for his goalie, who figures to be a backup this season and have a spot on the roster for at least the next one. Was this a good move, or is it too contrary to our selling strategy to make sense? 3. Having played for a team that isn't that great this season, would you do it all over again next season, or would you prefer to be on a winning team? 4. What are your expectations for the team and your player for the rest of the season? 5. Since we're the Hounds, what's your favorite breed of dog? 6. What are your opinions on last season's Seattle draft class being disproportionately made up of Hounds players? Does @Banackock spend an unhealthy amount of time in our locker room? Will he be picking you in the coming draft? @HanManHimself @Vuuna Haaka @Banana2311 @Jwarner0722 @maximlab @chrissyl93 @Liberty_Cabbage @Radcow @BaReZ_Regrets @GlowyGoat

I like how every game has devolved into me checking my blocked shot total and only caring about that. #fixthelottery

This puts to shame any of my media spots.

I love how @Enorama has nothing better to do in his about-to-graduate-college days than sit at home and memorize gen 7 Pokemon.

186 Also someone roast Eno please

Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.