DoktorFunk

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Transaction ID: 20501639336618213 5 Uncapped TPE - CLAIMED Doubles Week - CLAIMED 1 Million Store Cash - CLAIMED

Toronto, Ontario Victory Hockey League In Shock as Jolly Greene Giant Announces US Presidential Campaign The world was shocked today when Jolly Greene Giant, the rookie defenseman from the Toronto Legion stated that they would like to announce that they are running for president. This is an unprecedented statement from a sports player of any kind, much less a player of Jolly Greene Giant's renown. When asked for comment, Jolly Greene Giant had this to say: "Ho ho, ho ho!" Backlash against this statement is quite understandable. Jimmy Spyro of the Vancouver Wolves says “He has no business being in politics, unless he joins the Green Party,” and continues to say "This is career suicide.” The reason they feel this way is reasonable, as the comments made by Jolly Greene Giant are somewhat at odds with the rest of the Victory Hockey League, and it would be difficult for him to play hockey AND be president. Jolly Greene Giant isn’t without his supporters, however. Plenty of his friends have expressed their excitement for him. Frank Funk, Jr. of the Toronto Legion is one of their most prominent supporters, and has even gone as far as joining Jolly Greene Giant on stage at a recent press conference to defend them. “You're looking at the next US President," says Funk. “Make America Greene Again!” This kind of statement is the type that will continue to draw attention to Jolly Greene Giant. They’re already quite the high-profile player on the Toronto Legion and there are those that would say no publicity is bad publicity. However, these comments have received their fair share of backlash from even the higher-ups in the Victory Hockey League community. One of the highest profile dissenters of the Board of Governors, GustavMattias, had this to say about the comments: “No comment.” Jolly Greene Giant responded by saying “I understand why they had to react this way. I really do. But I think he missed the broader context of what I said. When I say ‘Ho Ho', I say it for the betterment of the entire Victory Hockey League and to call attention to the growing dissatisfaction that is addressed in what I said. Gustav would do well to remember that. Going against someone as powerful as Gustav could be a big mistake for Jolly Greene Giant, but, if what they say is true, the Giant sees themselves as a RotY Candidate and a Presidential Candidate. Sometimes these movements gain traction, but more often than not, they fizzle out. We have no doubt that Jolly Greene Giant has the best of intentions, but the way that they’ve chosen to express it has certainly ruffled some feathers. If the Giant wasn’t as skilled as they are, they might not have chosen to speak up the way that they have. But, as it is, the Victory Hockey League may not be able to tolerate one of it’s brightest stars speaking up in this manner. Punishment may not be far behind. We will keep you posted as this story develops.

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

@Froggo! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

@stew2310! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

@Julia Ruppert! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

1. I like what we've added! We have a group of folks that I'm familiar with a.d should be really good adds to Toronto! 2. I feel like we should! 3. I think game 7 of the 1st round! 4. Keep earning and don't freak out! 5. I hope my time spent earning in the VHLM was worth it and I can win RotY 6. Just focusing on us becoming closer and having fun!

I don't speak Welsh, but my family is Welsh. Does that make you want to join Ottawa?

@Nexus! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time than now. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! We're making a run for the Cup this year. In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star defenseman in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; you get back what you put in in this league, and, if you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and excitement together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Welp, Welp. Welp? Welp! DoktorFunk GM of Welp (We won't be good but you're welcome to join us!)

Hey Lynx! Answer all 6 for 2 tpe! 1. The VHLM draft is happening soon! Are you hype? 2. Same for the VHL! Any team you're hoping to go to? 3. Any team you wouldn't want to be drafted by? 4. Does your player have any pets? 5. Does your player have any pet peeves? 6. Does your player have a nickname?

Count me in

Well, coulda been worse

Jolly Greene Giant, defenseman for the Philadelphia Reapers and prospect for the Toronto Legion, has voiced his concern that He hasn't done enough recently to live up to His high draft position or reputation. "Ho ho," says the Giant, and He's not wrong. He has been seen notably not showing up to practice and is slacking a little with His time on the ice. The Reapers are currently up three games to two on the Mexico City Kings, but the Giant needs to put more effort in if the Reapers are going to seal the deal. “Ho ho,” says the Giant, reiterating about the remorse He feels not showing up more for His teammates. It’s clear from His tone that He wants nothing more than to regain his honor and show why He was so highly regarded in His draft class. Hopefully, the Reapers can count on the Giant to give 110% again. They’ll need it to overcome Mexico.

I've had a tough time showing up to say things recently, but thank you @Victor. The charity alone was enough incentive to donate, but this is EXTRA butter for my bread. Very good read!

Hey Lynx! Answer all 6 for 2 tpe! 1. Are you involved in the VHL's World Juniors Tournament? What team did you get drafted by if you did? 2. Did you have a good New Years? 3. Any fun plans for the next few months? 4. What's the thing you would say you are best at? 5. What goal song would you want to play when you score? 6. Where would you want your dream house to be located?

Howdy Lynx! Answer all 6 for 2 tpe! 1. If you only had hands or feet, which would you choose? 2. Best vacation you've ever had? 3. Would you ever want a chimpanzee as a pet? Why or why not? 4. Favorite pizza topping? 5. What do you want for Christmas? 6. Flight or invisibility?

Transaction ID: 20464447979092721 $200 I'm unsure what I'm eligible for, but here's the money! Confirmed. You're eligible for my love and admiration. That trumps TPE any day. -sterling

My name is DoktorFunk and I'm the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Whether you have experience with these type of leagues or not, I'd like to formally welcome you to the Victory Hockey League! I want you on the ice as soon as possible, and that's what I'm here to offer you! I want YOU to be on the LYNX! We need star players, and I can offer you PLENTY OF ICE TIME FOR THIS WHOLE SEASON! We also have a first-class training staff to help you improve and become an All-Star! Let me know, as I want you on our team IMMEDIATELY! If you accept my offer, quote this post and say "I'm hitting the Lynx!" Best wishes

My name is DoktorFunk and I'm the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Whether you have experience with these type of leagues or not, I'd like to formally welcome you to the Victory Hockey League! I want you on the ice as soon as possible, and that's what I'm here to offer you! I want YOU to be on the LYNX! We need star players, and I can offer you PLENTY OF ICE TIME FOR THIS WHOLE SEASON! We also have a first-class training staff to help you improve and become an All-Star! Let me know, as I want you on our team IMMEDIATELY! If you accept my offer, quote this post and say "I'm hitting the Lynx!" Best wishes

Cause if you did you'd raise your bid to 300