DoktorFunk

Where do I find myself now? Chip Stone has been traded away from Oslo and to Cologne! All aboard the Express, baby! Excited for the opportunity there and I hope Stone wins the cup there so when I can graduate to the VHL, I’m already a champion! Let’s see, what else? The podcast should be coming back this week! If you have any things you’d like us to discuss, let me know! I’m just rambling about league stuff at the moment because I don’t want to wait for my doubles week. Spyro and I are probably going to discuss each other’s most successful players (I personally want to pretend that Jolly Greene Giant doesn’t exist. He didn’t amount to much) which means I’ll be discussing a hefty amount of Jimmy Spyro’s career. I suppose we could just turn the conversation to underrated players in general. There have to be a ton of them, and I’d be curious to hear what you all think is the most underrated player. I haven’t been paying as much attention to the league until this season, so I’m not entirely sure. I feel like the best usually make it into the Hall of Fame, but it’s more fun to argue over the Hall of Very Good players. Seattle seems to be doing well. I wish I was on the main roster, but hopefully they’ll still be hot this season. The locker room has exploded in activity recently, so it’s cool to be something bigger than myself again. I really enjoyed the sense of comradery that the Bears/Hounds had back in the 60s. That’s what kept me around. My next player that I’d like to make would either be named Vladimir Shootin’ (although this might be a bit insensitive, but very funny) or Future Considerations. I can’t believe no one has made a player named Future Considerations yet. I feel like it’s up there with being one of the very best meme names around, and I’m hoping it’ll still be available now that I’ve put this out in the ether. Classes have ended for me for this semester. I really enjoyed going back to school for the first time in a while. Ethics was a super interesting subject, and I’ll be super tempted in the future to continue studying it, although it’ll also be very nice to have time to myself during summer break. Thankfully, I have plenty of time at my new job to write articles and do schoolwork. I can’t believe I’m actually close to getting my Associate’s Degree! I should be having my vacation in September. My girlfriend and I are going to Arizona, which I hear is absolutely beautiful. Sedona and the Grand Canyon are the destinations, and I’m really excited to see the desert! There’s something super mysterious and exciting about the desert. I love the idea of just being out in the middle of nowhere and looking up at the stars! I can’t wait! Maybe I won’t come back……… Just kidding.

Chip Stone was at the US Embassy in Oslo when he found out he was traded at the deadline by the Oslo Storm to the Cologne Express. Stone says he was surprised but excited: "Well, sure, the season wasn't going great in Oslo. I was certainly hoping for better. But I didn't expect to be traded. I always figured I'd finish my season out in Oslo then be ready to head up to the VHL at the beginning of the next season to be with the Seattle Bears! But this is a pleasant surprise! I have a chance to compete for a championship in Europe with Cologne and that's really exciting. They're very optimistic for me. Say I should play really well in their system. Which I hope I do, because my season has been very disappointing. If I can even get close to a point a game OR win the championship, I'll feel like I'm fully ready to compete in the VHL with men."

25. GOT A NEW JOB 26.Playing a concert with my band on Sept 24th 27. He's okay. Just got traded to Cologne so hopefully he pops off! 28. Badly! 29. NHL free agency has been crazy 30. I ate Pasta

So this is the VHL at 15, eh? I cannot believe something like this has had this much consistency. Don’t get me wrong, I love this league. But when you consider the advances in technology and games, you would think there would be something that scratches that particular community itch better than the VHL. The VHL reminds me of people who might still play fantasy football with pen and paper instead of using ESPN or Yahoo: it’s such an old school thing, but if you’re into it, you’re REALLY into it. What’s still the same from 15 years ago? Well, we still use the much maligned Simon T Hockey Sim. I have a little experience with it myself, and I can tell you, it feels way fucking older than 15 years. The web address is still the same. Uh, it still has teams? I’m not sure beyond that. In 2007, I was a sophomore in High School. I didn’t know shit about hockey. I barely talked to people and I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life, something that I only figured out recently. What I would define as most of my main passions and character traits hadn’t even emerged yet. But in many ways, I’m still the same person. I joined up in 2018. That was a rough year for me. I had started a job in sales that I came to find out that I hated, I didn’t have a girlfriend or really any romantic prospects, and I had just finished self-sabotaging several friendships. I joined the league because it seemed like a great community, and an established one at that. Learning the “lore” for lack of a better term and getting to see my player grow was incredibly appealing to me. I became even closer with the league after moving in May of 2019. I didn’t know anyone here, and it helped get me through some rough times. And although my interest lagged a little, I knew that a site that had been here for 14 years wasn’t going anywhere. Sure, it seems like the VHL has had some rough times, but it always seemed to make it though it. I knew the old-heads would still be here. I knew that when I returned I would still have friends. And that’s amazing when you think about it. That you can step in and out of an established community of friends and still have it reliably be here. That’s only true in my real life of my closest friends, and it’s pretty cool. I’ve even made friends here that have given me genuine good real-life advice that has improved my life. That’s unreal if you think about how toxic the internet can be! Where will the VHL be in 15 years? Do you think we’ll have finally ditched Simon T? Will another team have dominated because of the meta ( if we’re taking bets, I’m betting on Malmo)? Will anyone still be here? I’m not sure, but that’s okay. I’ve had an incredible time here, and I hope the folks that have spent 15 years of their lives here, or whatever chunk of that it is, have had the same wonderful, fun, sometimes weird and inappropriate experiences that I have.

1. It's been pretty rough so far, but hey, who knows what can happen? 2. Seattle Bears, which is crazy close to Oslo 3. Punk/Metal probably. I love pretty much everything, but I find myself listening to stuff like that most of the time. 4. Hamburgers for sure 5. Washington Capitals and it's gotta be Ovi, although he's taken a hit recently. 6. Go Avs! Happy for them!

I'm glad I have time for this again. I'm glad that it's been a warm welcome back so far! But, more than anything, I'm excited to see the renaissance of podcasters that the VHL has been producing. They're all solid and interesting. Back when me and Spyro started podcasting there were a handful of solid podcasts, but now it feels like everybody's doing it! I'm very glad, too, because it gives me something to listen to throughout my day! I like to see more personable, collaborative endeavors made by our site members. Is it common for players to like to remain with the team they first got drafted to? I know I'm personally much more engaged when I'm interacting with Seattle. I'm sure there are players that just like to remain with the same team. Maybe I'm one of em! Also, strange side note, but I've started playing Civilization 6. I had no idea Canada had a unique building called Ice Hockey Rink. It made me super happy, so I founded their religion as "Hockey" which I felt was pretty appropriate. I hope everyone is having a good day! Best wishes, DoktorFunk

Hell yeah pleaze

I love this. I can actually hear your shit-eating grin.

I'll apply

84 Transaction ID 5FW37343875320134 $1M Player Store Cash- claiming now 5 TPE Uncapped- claiming now Doubles Week- claiming now

As a promotion for the Oslo Storm's most recent home game, the Storm's concession stands were giving to each patron one free pint of special Oslo Storm ice cream. Named after their left-winger, Chip Stone, Chocolate Chip Stone features at least two bars of pure Swiss chocolate in each pint. This promotion comes at a good time and gives Oslo fans something to enjoy. The Storm have been very middling, winning only 11 of their 30 games so far this season. Chip Stone, when reached for comment, had this to say about the event: "Well, I've been trying to give them something sweet every time I step out onto the ice, but that hasn't been coming so easy. This was my favorite kind of ice cream growing up as a kid, so I'm excited to have Oslo provide it for free to the ticket holders and fans attending." Hopefully Oslo can bounce back, as their playoff chances are melting quicker than their ice cream.

15. I'm pretty happy with him. He needs moar goals! 16. I have band practice tonight so that should be fun 17. It's good for me. It's tough matching activity with my school, but I've got a pretty easy job so it's not too bad. 18. I'd like more pomp and circumstance to the big events like the draft 19. Oh jeez. Elijah. 20. Winning the first cup with Seattle for sure. That and being traded to Calgary. There was such genuine emotion on both occasions

Week 4/4

Dammit Davis

1. HC Victory Online 2. Cotton-Eye Joe for sure 3. Sportsmanship Award like the Lady Big. Fewest penalty minutes and polite community engagement. 4. Yes, no question 5. Smaller rings. Like the size of an inflatable pool. 6. Bleed by Meshuggah

Week 3/4

Thank you!

@Gustavwho now? Sorry I've had a busy week

G- Dusty Wilson

I was very drunk when I posted this. Thanks for answering my query

https://anchor.fm/doktor-funk/episodes/Doktors-Update-7122-e1kn2g4 Brief rundown of the start of the season! Enjoy!

Let's go Storm! Super excited to be captain to this amazing team!!

4. Well they were the best team in the regular season, but idk 5. I mean, @OrbitingDeathwas incredible for them. 6. @Hoganalways and forever 7. See answer above. 8. I went back and looked, it seemed like it was pretty exciting! 9. The season was wild and I'm glad to have joined Seattle at such an exciting time

My B F -Sigard Petrenko F -AJ Williams @STZ