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bigAL

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    VHL Mentorship Program

    in Archive

    Posted

    16 minutes ago, Beketov said:

    Did I? As I recall I took issue with a few parts of it and never gave any kind of timeline as I don’t pretend to know how busy the dev team is.

    Damn, I have a distinct memory of you saying essentially "moving this to the portal is such a good idea we don't even have to debate it anymore, let's focus on the other shit going on here" but now I can't find it. Just wishful thinking. Damn. 

     

    Anyways then, I don't think we need formalized, designated "helpers". That's the VHLM GM's job, and that happens more than anywhere in the VHLM LR. I think getting new players into that LR as soon as possible is really important.

     

    Maybe @McWolf  and @diamond_ace  can encourage their GMs to put permalinks to their servers in their pitches? New members can join, ask questions, make a bit of a more informed decision. The general server is such a wild west that new people get overwhelmed or fall through the cracks. Team LRs are where the helpful discussions happen.

    VHL Mentorship Program

    in Archive

    Posted

    In the last thread about reworking the M, Bek said moving to the portal was a great idea that we can actually make happen sometime soon. If it’s what I’m picturing, I think getting the new players into the team discord server immediately will give rookies access to a bunch of new mentors, including A/GM and all their new teammates. 

    The damn search function

    in Suggestions and Complaints

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Domg5 said:

    Why do you write AND though?

    That's the Boolean operator, kinda like an Excel formula I wanted to find an article that had both "Groovy Dood" and "junior" in it. Theoretically, if I didn't put AND and just put groovy dood junior, it'd ring up any article that had "groovy" or "dood" or "junior", whether it had one, two, or all three of those words.

     

    Googling and searching is actually a surprisingly complex science haha

    Groovy Dood Goes Home

    in Archived Media Spots

    Posted

    Life before the VHL was fun.

     

    Eight seasons after he left the North Ontario Bush Whackin' League, Groovy Dood returns a hero to visit his old team, the Hicksville Darts. 

     

    When he got there, the team couldn't wait to catch The Dood up on what he missed while he was in the pros. Eight seasons is a long time, and Dood wasn't able to get direct flights from DC to Hicksville so he didn't go home. Clearly, he missed out on a lot. Groovy always missed the small-town when he was in the big city. The hicks and the skids were all grown up into full time farmers and taller skids. His wild hippy family was all still in Mountie custody, likely sent to the Arctic work camps to mine gold. Bob, Gord, Doug, and the rest of the hockey team must've had success and fun, because they were so excited to show Groovy the trophy case in the rink.

     

    Standing in front of the trophy case, Groovy's jaw hit the floor when he read the names:

     

    • The Groovy Dood Trophy, the championship trophy of the NOBWL 
    • The Groovy Dood Title, won by the leading point scorer 
    • The Groovy Dood Award, awarded to the Most Valuable Player of the league
    • The Groovy Dood Golden Gloves, awarded to the player with the most fight wins
    • The Groovy Dood Crown, won by the leading goal scorer
    • The Groovy Dood Star, won by the overall champion of the league All-Star game
    • The Groovy Dood Spirit Award, awarded to the league's "nicest dude" and community involvement
    • The Groovy Dood Smokey BBQ, awarded to the league's best post-game party meal cook, as voted on by the players
    • The Groovy Dood Disco Ball, awarded to the league's grooviest dood, as voted on by the media
    • The Groovy Dood Dood Yvoorg, awarded to the league's best two-way forward

     

    Groovy was in awe. Slowly, a small grin, a big smirk, and a beaming smile crept across his face. It was nice to be appreciated.

     

    Not that it was any surprise. Groovy Dood was far and away the greatest player in league history. His slick hands, smooth skating, and actual effort to put the puck in the other team's net made him a star. Groovy was a guy who won everything in the league: he could single-handedly carry any team to a championship; he could win any title he wanted at will, as he proved when he won the Golden Gloves in 2016-17; and he was so damn groovy off the ice that his adopted hometown worshipped him.

     

    And that was all before he went to the VHL.

     

    The prodigal son has returned. And the locals were PUMPED.

     

    After taking his moment with the shiny trophies, Groovy took a step back into the lobby. The denim warriors and sickest-flow-bros swarmed him.

     

    Groovy was excited to catch up with the bois. He had a lot of questions about life in Northern Ontario, about the direction of the league, about those fucking jerks from the Renfrew Dingleberries. 

     

    Before he could formulate words, a floating hand shot up at the end of a camouflaged jacket sleeve in the back row of the scrum:

     

    "So Groovy... what were the bathrooms like in the VHL dressing rooms?"

    "Groovy, Groovy, over here. How good were the free hotdogs in the post-game meal?"

    "Man, which teammate of yours hacked the most darts in the intermissions?"

     

    Classic questions from the Darts. They weren't interested in the fame or glory, or what it was like playing with superstars. They wanted to know who wrapped their knuckles before a big game, and who had the sweetest Hot Wheels collection. They wanted to know what time room service went until in the big fancy city hotels. They wanted to know how you decided who was bringing the post-game pints. Groovy was happy to be out of the spotlight and celebrity circles, and back home in Hicksville.

    "Hey Doug. The Dragon's Den had the craziest shitters you've ever seen. Once I became captain, I got to re-design the bathroom and it was excellent. The IRON THRONE was reserved for the post-game MVP to take his customary post-game dump. The thing was so uncomfortable and cold, but you felt like such a badass. Stinking up the locker room from your regal perch was a way to assert your authority as the team's MVP. Any time we were playing someone real soft like Warsaw, I'd make sure to have a nice big bowl of moose chili before the game, because I planned on getting four goals and the Iron Throne. It was awesome."

     

    "The visitors' bathrooms were terrible because they always try to mess with you psychologically when you're at your physically weakest. One team put only urinals in the dressing room. Not having the team pre-game poop sesh really messed us up the first time it happened. After that L, we decided we were having that warm-up morale boost whether they wanted us to or not. We won big that night, and the tradition continued ever since."

     

    So yeah Doug, if you ever get to tour a VHL locker room, always make sure to get a look into the bathrooms."

     

    The boys were hanging off every word, mouths on the floor, eyes bugging out of their heads. They were so excited, so impressed, so in awe of the legends and the stories he was telling. They drooled over the post-game hotdogs in Calgary. They wanted to know everything they could about Xavier Laflamant's doggo. They asked so many questions about the league's best hunters. The questions kept coming and coming and coming.

     

    "Sorry Gord, Doug, Bob, I don't have time for any more questions. Thanks for getting me reacclimatized to the NOBWL, but I've got to run. I've got a meeting with head office," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

     

    Groovy left the Big Red Barn feeling excited for his future in Hicksville. This town was his home. The hippies back home at the commune were all gone. His birthplace was nothing but a graveyard of fallen-down tents, hammocks tied to one tree, and weeded over hemp fields. The hippy commune was dead, and so Hickville was home now.

     

     

    He didn't have to work anymore, he was filthy rich and set for life, but Groovy Dood really wanted to stay involved in hockey.

     

    Groovy Dood marched into the Northern Ontario Bush Whackin' League head offices, ready to ask if the wanted a new commissioner...

     

    The damn search function

    in Suggestions and Complaints

    Posted

    It's not just me, it's actually trash right? I can never find anything. 

     

    36gGrMc.jpg

     

    Those Boolean features are just teases because they do not help at all. Groovy Dood (or "groovy" or "dood") does not appear in Will3's post. Why would I ever want to search for the word "and"? Ugh.

     

    This is probably a forum problem we can't do anything about, but does anyone have any tips or tricks or workarounds for using this damn "search" "function"?

    The VHLM Has Gone Off the Deep End. Here's Why (and How I Would Fix It)

    in Archived Media Spots

    Posted

    On 10/12/2021 at 12:51 AM, GustavMattias said:

    Standardize waiver offers and put them on the portal! And give them to waiver-eligible players immediately after they create! Here's how that would work.

    A million times yes.

     

    What I'm picturing:

    1. Player creates on the portal
    2. Final step of creation: join a team
    3. They're taken to essentially this page. (weird it won't hyperlink to the VHLM, but you get it)
    4. Under each team name/logo, there's:
      1. A standardized pitch about the franchise and/or the goals for the season (basically what's copy/pasted in the threads now)
        1. This can be edited at any time by the A/GM
      2. A permanent link to the team's discord server
      3. Current roster numbers (forwards, defense, goalie)
      4. A big button that says JOIN TEAM

    Pressing JOIN TEAM immediately puts the player on the team in the portal. The A/GM gets a ping that a new player has joined their team. They reach out by DM or meet them in the discord server. The player dresses for the next sim, the GM submits new lines, and away we go.

     

    The pros:

    1. Player choice
      • We're always talking about how offering on forums is the best because it gives players choice on which team they sign with
      • This way, the player gets to make an informed decision about what team to join. They know exactly what they're getting themselves into, and can easily compare/contrast all teams
      • "All teams" - they get to choose from all teams and not just the ones who appear in the forums in the first three hours after creation
         
    2. Player experience
      • Creating and then waiting sucks. SUCKS.
      • Creating and joining the general discord server mostly sucks, because you're a stranger in a massive, massive new place.
      • Creating and joining a team server, with a dedicated development GM and a group of other people in the same situation as you: DOESN'T SUCK!
      • Bonus: you get into the sims much quicker than the other way, which means capitalizing on the hype of player creation.
         
    3. GM workload
      • The worst part of being an AGM is copy and pasting the same damn post a million times every time you get a notification from Create A Player subforum.
      • Because it's a shitty job (or because of malicious intent), people don't always prioritize (or actually do) this part of the job. That's a problem.
      • This puts the onus on the player to do the legwork of joining a team. Any time we can take work off the GM plate, we should.
         
    4. "Competitive balance"
      • Players know exactly what they're getting themselves into now.
      • If you want players to get into your shit, you have to make it attractive.
      • Having an empty team is super visible now, and is (probably) a red flag for new members and a mark of shame for recreates.
      • I flip-flopped on including "Current W/L Record" on the team info page, because I don't want to unfairly stigmatize the teams that are shit this season, but I suppose you could address that bit in the pitch. 
        • Either way, players will likely want to join "good" teams, and since GMs don't really have a choice who joins them, this "don't sign waivers because they'll slow us down" bs won't be a thing anymore.
           
    5. Roster min/max
      • With the forward/D/goalie numbers posted on the team page, players know what their ice time will be, more or less.
      • Players will want to join winning teams, but we don't want them to terribly drag a champion down.
      • We can either warn the player or prevent them from joining a team that's above the 9/4/1 roster creation.
        • If you're a forward., the teams with 9 forwards already will be highlighted in red. Either you don't sign there, or know you're getting fourth line minutes

     

    The cons:

    I'm sure someone will find something.

    S80 Theme Week & Trade Deadline

    in Announcements

    Posted

    12 hours ago, BladeMaiden said:

    1.) love how @bigAL quickly ushered out a fuck Y’all, almost as quick as I’ve said fuck the establishment in the past lol

    Over half of the comments in the threads are complaints about the theme, so….

     

    Spoiler

     

     

    12 hours ago, BladeMaiden said:

    fuck Y’all

     

     

    jk luv y’all


    There’s more ways than just Theme Week to celebrate the holidays eh?

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