bigAL

2 hours ago, Beketov said:

I do love how quickly @bigAL became a jaded blue, he really stepped into the role well.

Grumble grumble kids these days don’t appreciate uncapped TPE like they used to grumble grumble

Hello @Members!
 

Wooo it’s Theme Week!! The only thing that people love to criticize more than awards. Too bad folks, theme week is great and we’re going to do it forever. 

 

First off, that means that the Trade Deadline is Monday, October 18 at 3pm EDT. If your agent is going to go on the radio, rip the GM, and demand a trade, now’s a great time to do it. This also means that anyone wishing to re-create for the S82 draft can do so starting at midnight that same day.

 

**

 

Theme week is always a great time to explore the word outside our VHL bubble, and this year we’re going to go beyond hockey:

 

So you’ve played eight or nine seasons in the VHL, earned some dough, lived the great life of a professional athlete. 
 

Then, it’s over. Now what?

 

This is a great time to check in on some old players or plan ahead for the current player’s future. Are you going to write about Condor Adrienne’s post-playing adventures? Will we see a campaign poster for Jeffrey Pines’ run for Prime Minister of Canada? Is Alex Letang chilling on a beach, or continuing to chase the dream in some third tier hockey league in Malaysia? You tell us. 
 

To earn your Theme Week TPE, write an article, create a graphic, or record a podcast with some connection to “Life after the VHL”. 

 

**

 

In order to claim the theme week bonus of 6 Uncapped TPE, simply submit your Themed PT (Graphic, Media Spot or 6-TPE Podcast), and claim it as normal. After claiming the PT portion, you can use the same link, and claim the uncapped portion as follows: Claim Uncapped > Other > Doubles Week. (Note: you do not need to post your link in this thread to claim either portion of TPE) 

 

Make sure to tag your articles with “theme week” so we can collect all the great work in one easy-to-find spot. 
 

If you have already submitted a Point Task for this week, or are in the midst of claiming a multi-week Media Spot/Podcast, you may still submit a Theme Week PT this week, and claim the capped portion on the next available week, following your multi-week claim.

 

Also, if you have a single job that pays 6+, you may claim the theme week bonus as long as you complete your duties for the week. If you are in the EFL or SBA and have completed their most recent Media Week, you may use that to claim the Uncapped theme week bonus, but a PT must be completed this week in order to claim the Capped portion, whether that is completed here or through Affiliate Welfare.

 

Note: Only players who are S81 or older may claim the theme week bonus.

 

@VHL GM

@VHLE GM

@VHLM GM

1 hour ago, GustavMattias said:

Either that or just leave it up to the commissioners to decide if people are trying to get around it, which would be a bit more viable (though probably still not perfect) due to the shorter timeframe

The less arbitrary decisions made about intentions, the better. Let’s come out of this with some solid, clearly communicated and understood policies. 

46 minutes ago, Victor said:

In a classic BOG moment, I must inform you that this was the old system and it was horrible and I think will be as horrible now as it was back in the day

Excellent, I knew we kept you around for a reason. Thanks wise institutional knowledge. 
 

I really like the idea of portalizating the waivers and cutting out the pitching offers in every thread process. 
 

2 hours ago, GustavMattias said:

 

...I actually have an article in the works about why I think VHLM rules as they are are too controlling

 

Oh I’m excited, nice teaser. 

Yeah, this idea comes up all the time and I like it every time. Especially now with the E, it’s so important that we build the M so it is a development league. We can’t leave it up to the GMs, we’ve got to put policies like banning draft picks in place to ensure the boom/bust cycle doesn’t happen. 
 

The barrier has always been the VHLM GMs bitching. “I want to be a real GM and make trades and stuff” or “this won’t be fun for me if I can’t trade picks”. At this stage of our organization, I feel we can finally tell off those people. We have such a deep talent pool of managers that someone will take on the job knowing full well they can’t trade draft picks.

 

I still don’t know where I’m at with the waiver system. The problems we run into are things like competitive teams not offering because a rookie would make them worse, or teams not being active enough in offering. 
 

As a brand new member, I don’t know enough about the league to make any kind of decision about which team to sign with. It’s usually whoever is first to offer gets the player. 
 

Why not cut the fat and just jump to “whoever is first gets the player”. Instead of waiver signings, there’s waiver priorities. Every team has to take on new players. If HFX is first in line, they get the next create, then go to the back of the line and the next team gets the next new player. With stricter enforcement of IA rules, if you miss on a prospect you can cut them two weeks after they sign with you. 
 

From the player’s perspective, you get “claimed off waivers by the team with highest priority”, and you’ll go into the draft very soon anyways. It’s not a big deal to “lose that autonomy and freedom to sign wherever”. 
 

This way, every team has players on it. Every team takes on the negative impact of rookies. Every team gets players whether they’re good at offering or not. 
 

Nuke draft pick trading, and nuke free agent waiver signing. 

4 hours ago, GustavMattias said:

Fellas...I'm not making any sense here. I got enough sleep last night, I don't think I've been stressed out lately, but I've been doing stupid spaced-out/uncoordinated/nonsensical things left and right today for reasons beyond my understanding.

 

While I can think of specific examples of moderation that I don't agree with, portraying that as a big issue with the entire mod team, all the time, is wrong and I like to think it isn't something I'd do normally. 

 

I don't know what kind of drug got slipped into my lunch but I've certainly been acting like it's something. Guess that carried over into our forum and I hope I didn't put anyone off.

Nah dude, you’re good. I know I’ve come to expect and appreciate your libertarian perspective on things. It always makes for a good conversation starter, and a great check and balance on the leadership team here. If anyone’s earned the benefit of the doubt, and a permanent disclaimer that any constructive criticism is not personal, it’s you. 
 

Doing unexplainable things and not feeling like yourself is hard enough without adding on feeling like shit about doing unexplainable things and not feeling like yourself. 

You’re good Gus, don’t forget that.
 

 

One thing I’ve noticed with hidden threads is that sometimes they’re hidden when the person who started it deleted their accounts. I can think of at least one high profile member who left recently and a side effect was that all the threads he started, including both official announcements and dramatic stuff, all got hidden. 
 

I think our forum moderation is good. When things get out of hand, our Big Brother apparatus doesn’t delete or hide threads or comments, they just lock them and give all the naughty children a warning. I can see hidden things now: it’s 95% only threads started by the old guy or comments in threads that were reported for slurs that were ok in 2013 and aren’t in 2021. 
 

The forums are the archives of our entire history. The stories, the debates, the drama is all still there. The mods aren’t burning books, and we were not always at war with Eurasia. I know we have some philosophical differences about moderation, but if you DM me some more details I can try to find this elusive threads you think was hidden. 

It's always so hard to describe what we have here.

 

We pay big bucks to Youtubers to advertise the VHL, but they have a hard time explaining what we do here, how we do it, and why they should join. 

 

I feel like our current advertisements don't do the league justice. People sign up because the Youtuber told them to, but they don't stay because they didn't know what they got themselves into. We're not NHL Be a Pro mode, for better or worse. It's a fine line between selling something and telling the truth about it, but I want to explore what we do and how we can convince people we're worth joining.

 

***

 

The VHL is the internet's premiere simulation hockey league. 

 

What is a simulation hockey league?

A "sim league" is exactly what it sounds like: we play sports, but we don't 'play' sports. Think of Be A GM mode in NHL: no one actually plays their AHL affiliate games, we just sim over them. Press the button, the computer computes, and the game spits out a complete recap of everything that happened. Someone wins, someone loses, someone scores goals, someone makes saves.

 

In the VHL, we simulate using STHS (the Simon T Hockey Simulator). Simon is just a guy in Quebec who coded an entire simulation hockey engine. One of our guys presses the button, and out comes a game report.

 

We have three leagues: our minor league (VHLM); our European development league (VHLE); and our major leagues (VHL). Each of those teams have their own teams, run by GMs, and compete for their own trophies and awards. 

 

What does it mean to be a simulation hockey player?

Your role is to be a simulation hockey player.

 

You'll create one player. You'll give them a sweet hockey name, pick a position, and play a ten or so season career. You'll get drafted to the VHLM and work your way up the ranks of professional hockey. You'll get the thrill of hearing your name called in the VHL draft. You'll score goals and fight. You'll ride the highs and lows of a long season. You'll make the playoffs and compete for the Cup, or miss out and feel immense heartbreak. 

 

Off the ice, you'll be one of the team. Each team has up to twelve or so real life, human players just like you. You'll talk strategies, schedules, wins and losses in your discord locker room. You'll celebrate the achievements of your new friends, or start beef with players on other teams.

 

Your GM and AGM make up your teams front office. They are the ones that scout players, draft prospects, make trades, and set the line-up. They're experts at understanding the league, helping new players, and building a successful franchise.

 

How do I git gud?

You want to be the best. Not every player will become a generational talent like a Condor Adrienne or a Rayz Funk, but it's worth a try.

 

STHS has a variety of player attributes that you want to level up. The attributes are different for skaters and goalies, but either way, you make the choice to build the kind of player you want to be. If you want to be a fourth line goon, you can increase your Fighting or Checking or Strength. If you want to be a silky smooth playmaker, bump up your Skating and Puck Handling and Passing. Your goalie might want to work on Reaction Time or Rebound Control. It's up to you to make the best player possible.

 

What do I actually have to do?

In order to level up your player, you need to earn TPE. TPE (total points earned, don't worry about the acronym, it's just TPE) is a classic progression system for forum-run simulation sports leagues.

 

You earn TPE by creating content for the league. Any sports league only exists as much as people pay attention to it. I know nothing about cricket because Sportsnet.ca doesn't publish any articles about cricket, they don't show highlights, and they don't talk about it. If they produced cricket content, I'd definitely buy into it, but they don't so I don't.

 

In the VHL, we need you to create content to bring the league to life. 

 

Some people like to write articles. You can write short articles (~200 words) or you can write longer stories (500+ words), for different amounts of TPE. These can be recaps of drafts or playoffs, or a certain storyline throughout the season, or analysis of a team or player's progress. You can be as creative as possible; as long as it's about the VHL, it earns you TPE.

 

Some people like to create graphic art. They play with Photoshop (or one of the great free alternatives) to create epic forum signatures for players, like Cowboy Prout or Nico Pearce. Others make infographics to show stats or celebrate a special moment. The graphics wizards here are always happy to give feedback, tips and tricks, and overall help you become a better artist. There are stories of people learning to do graphic design here as a high schooler and turning into a lifelong passion and a paying career, which is awesome. Again, you can be as creative as you want. As long as it's about the VHL, it earns you TPE.

 

Some people make podcasts about the league. You don't have to be Jeff Marek or Steve Dangle to have a hockey podcast, these days anyone can record a voice memo while they're driving on a road trip and upload it to Spotify. Like graphics, learning to record, produce, and share a podcast is a great transferrable skill that can both help you do cool things outside of the VHL, and earn you TPE.

 

Otherwise, you can earn TPE by being part of your team. Each week, your team hosts a Press Conference. Speak to the media, answer the questions, and you'll earn your TPE. 

 

The other way to earn TPE is to get a job. GMs, league commissioners, and updaters all get job pay. These jobs are competitive: you have to apply, interview, and be the successful candidate. Not everyone gets to be a GM, there's only so many teams in the leagues.

 

There's a weekly cap of how much TPE you can earn, so you don't have to worry about the eager beavers going hard and becoming way better than you. If you're too busy one week to do a "Point Task", you can claim "Welfare". Click the button for some free TPE, but beware: it's not as much as writing an article or making a graphic.

 

What else is there to do here?

All the actual hockey, TPE earning, and league affairs happen on the forum. The real community exists on Discord.

 

We have a bumping Discord server with over 600 members. People hang out, crack jokes, talk NHL, or just whatever in the #general channel. There are special channels for talking about the VHLM or VHLE; for getting hyped about the drafts; for sharing great articles; for asking questions and helping others with graphics. There are non-VHL channels too: we have a lively League of Legends community; a big group of members will often pick a new game and play together, like Minecraft or Pokemon MMO; there's a "health club" where people share workout and healthy eating stories; and we have a hilarious Jeopardy channel where Alex Trebek tests your smarts.

 

In addition to the main league server, each team in the VHL has their own server. Here, your team has its own locker room where you can talk about the games, get hyped on a playoff run, get team-specific info from your managers, and generally build the camaraderie that comes with being on a sports team.

 

The hockey is all on the forum, and the Discord is the place to make friends and be social around the league. The two parts of the league complement each other well. 

 

What now?

Yeah, you think this sounds like something you'd be into? Head over to www.vhlforum.com, check out some of our work, and when you're ready, press the CREATE A PLAYER button in the header. 

 

Welcome to the VHL!

 

***

 

Damn, that was wordy. How about a shorter one too?

 

Come join the VHL, the internet's premiere simulation hockey league.

 

Like when you skip games in NHL's Be a GM mode, we press a button and our virtual hockey teams play each other. Teams win and lose, players score and fight, goalies make saves and shutouts. It's legit hockey, just simulated instead of live.

 

You'll create your own player, and play on a team made up of other real-person-controlled players. You and your new teammates are managed by your team's GM and AGM, and will guide you through your career. You'll get drafted, you'll work your way up through the minor leagues, you'll experience the highs of winning it all or the heartbreak of coming so close.

 

The VHL Forums are our own version of Sportsnet.ca or ESPN.com. YOU become the reporters, telling stories from the league, recapping highlights and seasons. You can write stories, or create graphic designs, or record podcasts to help build the excitement and lore of the VHL. You get to be as creative as you want in building the VHL universe.

 

Creating content for the website is the way to level up your player. Each article you write or piece of art you produce gets you TPE. Upgrading your player costs TPE, so the more you contribute, the better you'll get.

 

Will you be a silky smooth playmaker, with high stats in Skating and Puckhandling? Or will you be a face-punching goon, specializing in Checking and Fighting? Will you become a legendary goalie, carrying a team to the playoffs and to glory?

 

The choice is yours.

 

***

1639 words

 

Chapter 3 - Welcome to Calgary

 

 

Phil stared dumbfoundedly at the janitor. How could he be so nonchalant in the face of a MURDER?!

 

"I'm dumbfounded. How can you be so nonchalant in the face of a MURDER?!" he asked the janitor.

 

Taking a long drag off his unlit dart, the man gave a thousand yard stare at something over Phil's left shoulder. "Boy, I've seen some shit here. Come with me." 

 

Phil, always the schmoozer, knew how important it was to get to know all the team staff, even the humble toilet scrubbers, and followed the stranger. The man left behind his mop bucket and took off towards the lower bowl. 

 

"The Wranglers have a long and storied history in the VHL. Calgary's been here since Day One. Not just that, they've been wildly successful as a franchise. Look," he said, pointing at the Wall of Fame set on the wall between the world famous DOGGERS hot dog bar, and the bathrooms.

 

"Legends, all of em. Check it. I know you're new to the league, but you know these names. Scott Boulet, the Cowtown Hammer. Friggin guy was a force. He'd score on you, but you wouldn't score on him. If you had the nerve to pot one, he'd make sure you and your team all paid for it in blood next shift. He was the top two-way forward four of the first six seasons in the league. The fans love em some Scotty." Phil nodded in awe, knowing his slight frame wouldn't ever fill the shoulder pads of Boulet.

 

"And how about this guy, Brett Slob--" was all the janitor got out before Phil interrupted him.

 

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, they're good. I also see there's space for me up there someday. What's your point here, guy?" Phil questioned, looking annoyed. He had lots to do today to settle in to his new home, and didn't want to spend the whole day looking backwards when he had to look forward.

 

"Well, the point is, the fans are used to winning. Everything. All the time. Any less is... deadly." The glint in the janitor's eye made Phil very uncomfortable, and the events of today made him think that the statement was not a metaphor.

 

Suddenly feeling like a slab of meat in front of a lion, Phil began to turn on the charm. "Say friend, I never actually got your name. What do you do here?" he asked, trying to humanize himself to the newly scary stranger.

 

"Don't worry about it. I keep my head down, I do my work, I do my part to help keep Calgary the best franchise in the league."

"Like I was saying, the fans expect to win. They expect to win games. They expect to win trades." With an cocked eyebrow and a stare that pierced through Phil's soul, the janitor added, "They expect to win drafts." 

 

Gulp. The first overall pick suddenly felt a lot of pressure.

 

"Let's go, there's more to see here."

 

Phil followed the janitor away from the six faces of the Wall of Fame, through a small maintenance door, and into a dark basement. The janitor flipped a switch, and the bare lightbulb flickered on, revealing a dingy concrete room.

 

On the far side of the wall, above rows and rows of framed headshots, were three words stencilled onto the wall with black spray paint and Comic Sans font:

 

"Rest in Pieces"

 

 

---------

569 words, claiming week ending 3 Oct

Yes guy! Congrats on the job for as long as you have it and enjoy the ride. A permanent job won’t be far away now eh

On 8/7/2021 at 2:23 PM, Beketov said:

Hedge keeps bugging me,

For real, he keeps bugging and bugging. 
 

Re-reading the thread with fresh eyes,  I don’t think the toothless logo is as similar to the EFL one as we thought. Maybe give it some eyeballs, but otherwise the crown, the crest, the hair, and the general face it’s making are different enough between the two. The thing that’s the same is that it’s a lion with a crown on a crest. 
 

We missed the boat in updating the logo this past off-season, and if we’re going to do it, we have to get the shit together in-season to make it happen next off-season. 
 

New logo or old logo?

 

also, I won’t be at a real computer today, can someone please post all three logos (new, EFL, old) together in one post here?

Hell yeah JLose. This place means something different to every person, but it wouldn’t mean much to anyone if it weren’t for the people here. The VHL is a much better place with you around, and it sounds like you’re in a better place with the VHL. Love it, thank you so much for everything you do. Someday we’ll get back into Minecraft haha

G - Kevin Malone

 

 take it home @dasboot!

D - Aurelian Moreau

 

@youloser1337

D - Viktor Grachev 
 

@dasboot

F - Nathan Perry 

@youloser1337

7 hours ago, diamond_ace said:

I don't think you quite have to die - you could always just retire at some point. Frankly, if Vidot waits until Dood is actually dead, Vidot will also likely be retired by then?

Oh, but when you play in a Boulet-winning way four seasons in a row, there is very little tread left on the wheels at the end of a career. He’s been pretty open he plans on spontaneously combusting into a giant puff of smoke during the final home game of his career. Maybe that was a metaphor but who knows with ol Groovy.

I’m in, ~900 on chess.com, and will much prefer dailies now that I’m in a silly time zone ugh

My thoughts reading the headline: 

 

17 hours ago, Banackock said:

 

Bana doesn’t have AGMs?!

My thoughts after opening the spoiler:

The kid better know his place in the locker room. The Vidot era in DC will come, but not until Groovy Dood is dead and gone. 

1 hour ago, der meister said:

Builds elite goalscorer = 5 assists in first 2 games

Have you tried building a face-puncher? With your sim luck, he’d lead the league in goals. 

Damn this is some serious league parity, gg everyone 

Ahhh hockey is back  

Man, I’m glad you’re able to celebrate everything you’ve done here. You killed it in the M, moved to the bigs and brought that same winning culture to the VHL. Championships are huge, but people rave about playing in Mexico and Malmo, and that’s even more a reflection on how great a person you are. We’re lucky to have you as long as we do, however long that is. 
 

And if that means a break, that’s okay. If GMing a VHL team is more than you want to do, there’s always the World Cup or other off-season tourneys if you need to scratch that management itch every now and then. 
 

Do what you gotta do to be happy. We’re all on the same team here, and all us coloured roles folk ride that same rollercoaster of energy and give a shit. I’m glad you’ve got your gang here you can lean on for fun and advice, and make sure to use your GMs and blues too. Everyone’s felt this way before, and everyone handled it differently. Do what you gotta do to be happy buddy  

F - Gunnar Odinsson 

 

@dasboot