joeg

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Player Information Username: joeg Player Name: Joe John Jefferson Junior Recruited From: Returning Age: 21 Position: D Height: 77 in. Weight: 220 lbs. Birthplace: Canada Player Page @VHLM GM

What Would Living in a Sports Bubble be Like With 2 major sports leagues playing in the bubble (NHL and NBA) and 2 sports leagues without the bubble having issues already (MLB and NFL) it is not outside of the realm of possibility that we could find ourselves in the bubble until we overcome our current situation. So I began asking myself, what would it be like to live in the bubble for a season. Well first, and most importantly, food. Now this depends on what you fancy. Continental breakfast is usually good, but that will definitely fade after the first week. If the bubble is somewhere nice, like the Royal York, than i would be pleased with every meal. Lunch would be tough, we'd probably get a sandwich everyday, but this can be made up for with a stellar dinner. That is the wild card. If dinner is something substantial and delicious, so exactly the opposite of what the NBA players have been getting at disney world, then that would make up for a lacking lunch. In summary, it would totally depend on your hotel. For comfort, hotel beds are a dime a dozen. It might not be great, but it will most certainly be good enough. Now sticklers might make a point of saying they need their pillow. Fine, bring your own pillow, it's not that hard. Certain amenities would be required, specifically a work out room (a real one, not those found in hotels now) and an INDOOR pool. I don't want an outdoor pool. There is too much uncertainty surrounding the weather. Indoor pool=indoor rules!! These are the demands for amenities should we enter the bubble. WC/280

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1. There will be ebbs and flows, but I feel positive. Just got to take it one game at a time. 2. His new lifetime deal with Magnum Ice Cream. 3. Have to try and take the load off of him some nights. Give him some better help in front. 4. I believe that more people want to play offence, with the high end, high profile player. 5. Any advice would be appreciated. 6. Probably a 7 or 8. It's plenty enough for me, but I could see other people feeling otherwise.

Transaction ID: 34T28328613410249 $10.00 CAD -5 Uncapped TPE -Free Week

1. Very excited. They'll be a great addition to the team. 2. It might cause a few headaches but nothing we can't manage. 3. I completely forgot about it to be honest. 4. It'll be AWESOME. 5. The only player from the first round I can name is Merrick sooo I plead the fifth. 6. Frostbeard until I realized he was a GM.

I got elbowed in the face playing touch football at recess and the teacher freaked out and thought my nose looked weird so sent me to emergency incase I broke my nose. Turns out I just have a funny looking nose that liked to bleed.

One of our on the ground reporters, Chad Monstinglopsingbergershine was sulking around the Miami airport when he caught up with Toronto Legion player Joseph Gainer. The following is a transcript of their conversation. CM: Joe, Joe! Do you have a second to talk? JG: Ugh, fine. CM: What are you doing in Miami instead of Toronto? Where are you heading? JG: I came down to spend some time with my family and friends in the Florida heat. We're going to catch our plane and head to Puerto Rico for a week. CM: So you flew to Florida to fly to Puerto Rico? Why not just stay here? JG: To get away from you. CM: Ok, I had that coming. Our insider VHLM sources say that you are afraid of flying, and only took planes when you needed to in the VHLM and actually took a bus most of the time. I believed they called in aviophobia. Any comment? JG: The only part I take issue with is calling it a phobia. There is nothing irrational about fearing flying. You're in a giant, pressurized metal tube, 30 000 feet in the air, where any number of things you can think of can go wrong, and even some you can't think of. CM: Amen to that brother. Hey, you're looking kind of chunky. Shouldn't you be in Toronto putting in the work? I've heard that Toronto is going to take another winger to replace you? What do you think about that? JG: 1. I think that you're lucky that there are at least 5 police officers that I can see right now. 2. I'm the same weight from the end of the season. 3. I welcome whatever role Toronto puts me in, and also welcome any addition to the team that will help us reach the ultimate goal of raising the Continental Cup. CM: Awesome. Fantastic man! Well, enjoy your vacation and we'll take again soon? JG: Not likely. WC/327

Gainer and Bobfather End of Season 72 Sit Down BOBFATHER: Joseph great to see you again. Thanks for doing this virtual sit down with me. GAINER: Always glad to sit down with you Bob. BOBFATHER: Let’s talk about the regular season first. You got off to a sluggish start before picking up the pace, eventually earning yourself time on the first line. How do you feel you progressed this season? GAINER: On a personal level, I think that I should some good growth throughout the season. Getting a chance to play on the top line was fantastic and it certainly took a lot of hard work to reach the top line. Mac had a hell of a season, and it took a lot of work to reach his level. And getting to play with Frostbeard was unreal. Whoever gets to draft him is in for a treat. BOBFATHER: Let’s talk about Mac. Both you and him were drafted to Toronto in last season’s VHL entry draft. You didn’t get to see a lot of time together in Mississauga. Are you hoping that changes in Toronto? GAINER: The long-term goal is obviously to win a championship. If management thinks that putting us on the same line will help us reach that goal than I am all for it. And if they believe we are better off on different lines then that is what we’ll do. It’s all about reaching the goal of hoisting the continental cup. BOBFATHER: So, do you not want to play with Mac then? GAINER: No. I’m just saying that I am all in on doing whatever is in the best interest of the team. Whether that is with Mac or not, I’m all in on helping this team get wins. BOBFATHER: Can you share your thoughts on the league expansion and expansion draft? GAINER: Yeah sure. The league expansion is a net positive. Being able to expand by 4 teams show the health and stability on the league currently. League leadership deserves praise for putting the league in this healthy position. As far as the expansion draft goes, it always stinks to lose players. Ultimately though, we seem to be in a pretty good position to come out of the expansion draft with the core intact. BOBFATHER: Quickly getting back to the VHLM season, you guys made the playoffs for the first time in your career but fell in the first round. What are your thoughts on how the team performed? GAINER: It was tough to go out the way we did. Ultimately, we weren’t the better team and as such didn’t make it out of the round. I try to pick out some positives though. Individually it gave us as players the experience of what playoff hockey is like, even if it was in the minors. And as for the team, hopefully it helps to establish a culture of winning in Mississauga. BOBFATHER: Looking forward to the upcoming season you’ve been placed on the roster in Toronto. How are you settling in so far? GAINER: Well thankfully I haven’t had to move or anything as Mississauga is essentially Toronto. It has been kind of a funny transition as the league expansion has made it a unique offseason. I think that after the expansion draft though things will settle down a bit and it will be a more manageable transition. BOBFATHER: What is your expectation for the upcoming season? GAINER: I’ll answer that in 2 ways. First, personally. This Toronto team is very talented, especially up front. I hope to settle in where management places me, and then be able to adjust to the VHL. There is a nice mix of experience on the team, so I know I’ll have a lot of veterans to lean on. As a team, obviously Toronto made the playoffs last year and took Calgary to game 7. I would think that the goal is always to exceed the previous year. So regular season wise hopefully be in a little bit more solid playoff position and come the playoffs, advance past the first round. BOBFATHER: Do you want to put any quantitative data on your personal goals? Points, goals scored, assists? Anything? GAINER: I hesitate to just because the season is just so unpredictable. Ultimately, I’ll say this: I hope to be a net positive for team contributing in positive ways and ensuring that I justify Toronto’s decision to select me where they did last year. BOBFATHER: You wrote a controversial article last week on tourtiere being a good pregame meal. You received some criticism. Any statement you would like to make? GAINER: Yes. First, the only thing I’ll apologize for is not putting a picture with the article. I should have figured that there is no way my mere words could convey the excellence that is tourtiere. If you disagree with me, it is obviously because you are ignoring the facts and nothing, I can say will convince you. When you come around to the science let me know. BOBFATHER: Fantastic. That’s about all I’ve got on my end. Anything you would like to add on your end before we wrap this up? GAINER: Yes. A couple of things actually. First, Steve Simmons stinks for releasing that Auston Matthews tested positive for COVID. We need to respect players privacy, you know, like the rest of the league has been doing. Second, as an addition to the previous question, there is in no world any excuse for putting ketchup or chili sauce on tourtiere. Don’t even get me started with that crap. Finally, I can’t wait to get started in Toronto. We are Legion. BOBFATHER: That all? GAINER: Keep on chugging and let’s get this train going full speed ahead. BOBFATHER: Joseph, it’s been a pleasure as always. We look forward to watching how the offseason and season plays out for Toronto. Stay safe and best of luck this season. GAINER: Same to you Bob. Always happy to chat with you. TTYL. WC/1000 Claiming for weeks of July 19 and July 26.

Can't wait!! #WeAreLegion

Now look, I’m not one to make ultimatums or tell people they are wrong. BUT, if you think anything other than Tortiere being the correct pre-game meal than not only are you wrong, but your taste in food needs to be re-evaluated. Let us go over some facts, shall we? FACT: Pre-game meals should consist primarily of carbohydrate rich foods FACT: What carbohydrates are better than beautiful, flaky pie crust AND some delicious potatoes in that beauty FACT: It’s Canadian, which should put it ahead already FACT: What type of meat do you want? Pork? Done! Veal? Done! Beef? Done! Fish? That is a hard no and I redirect you to the beginning of this article and suggest you re-evaluate your food preferences. FACT: My dad makes an absolute killer tourtiere that he learnt from his father. Am I biased? NO! No amount of bias could overcome the glorious creation known as tourtiere. That’s really all I got. If you want to be like the rest of the herd, sure, then go have some pasta. Have a sandwich or something simple. It will work, I guess. But if you want to stand out amongst the herd. If you want to treat you stomach to a masterpiece that will make you weep. If you want to fuel your body AND treat your body, then there is only one option. T-O-U-R-T-I-È-R-E WC/225

Alright first Toronto presser, I hate the media already, let's get cracking 1. Always happy to be able to add more talent. And the playoff experience will be invaluable experience. 2. It's aight. I'm just ready to get cracking again. 3. Earning that sweet, sweet, TPE. And since it's all banked right now, I can't wait to be able to go on a spending spree. 4. Calgary 5. Regular pepsi but diet/zero coke. 6. Burrito. You can pack more in it.

Dear Mississauga, I wish I could say we rode off into the sunset as champions of the VHL. I wish we could reward you with the championship this city deserves. Alas, for whatever reason now was not our time. Even with this outcome not being the one that we wanted; I wouldn’t have changed a thing. My time in Mississauga the past 2 seasons, I have learned made new friends, become a better hockey player and learnt lessons I will take with me for the rest of my life. With that said, with a long offseason of hockey now staring us in the face, I would like to recount some of my favourite stories from my time in Mississauga. I’ll start with the first day I entered the locker room. I was taken by my teammates out onto the ice and put on a giant “sling shot.” My teammates prepared me and launched me into the boards. Whichever board I hit, the advertisement on it was used to create my nickname. I landed square on the board hosting the Little Ceasers advertisement, which gave me the nickname “bad -za”. Something I took pride of off the ice during my time here was my trilogy of fights with that stupid rodent from Saskatchewan. The roughriders may have beat my beloved Tiger Cats more times then I care to remember, but I got the best of their gopher 2-1, cementing myself as the ultimate “Gainer.” Celebrating the end of the season 71 VHLM season, there was the infamous disputed 6 ball in a doubles game of snooker between @Alstoner and @st4rface and opposing team @lastoneup and @grittyisking. There are still some sore feelings over that game, and rumor has it the game will become an annual tradition. We even gave out a 6 ball to the best player after each game. Between season 71 and 72, I was very proud to be able to participate in the first annual “Mississauga Hounds March on the City to Remember Her Majesty Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland” parade. We came very close to winning the world record for the longest parade name, but we came up just short against “Super Star Same Day Sprinting Parade for Spontaneous Stellar Snakes Stretching to Succeed in Sanctimonious Shoulder Strength Sponsored by the Sensational, Standout Show, the Simpsons.” I was still thrilled to participate in the parade and know that we’ll get that world record soon! This past season is still a little bit raw to look back on. I hope to touch on it more next week on my interview with the Bob Father. I have memories of Mississauga that I will hold special for the rest of my life. This has been a fantastic experience, in a fantastic place, with a fantastic group of people. I’ll never forget my time here with you all. I’ll leave you with these inspiration words: Stay cool Keep your sunny sides up And stay safe. WC/500

I have no memory of writing this....wtf is wrong with me