Gretzky didnt lift da puck

Shoutout the the BCHL reference... It's no NAHL but its a solid tier 2 alternative!

1. Happy? My guy is out here being an absolute rockstar. Give this man a dangly earring and a pair of purple tinted shades.
2. Youthful scoring... (*cough cough)
3. Buddy is a rookie in the "E" so of course he's going to prepare the way any rookie would: Belly Button divin' and line ridin' 
4. Blocked shots. Take a few rippers for the team. 
5. Does Dave Grohl get nervous when playing a show? No. He slugs two pots of coffee like a psychopath and gets the place rockin'. Because That's What ROCKSTARS Do!
6. In all seriousness, I actually wear the same suit to every game. All navy. the only thing that changes are socks and the tie. The tie only if we lose. Like this is actually in real life...

1. Happy? My guy is out here being an absolute rockstar. Give this man a dangly earring and a pair of purple tinted shades.
2. Youthful scoring... (*cough cough)
3. Buddy is a rookie in the "E" so of course he's going to prepare the way any rookie would: Belly Button divin' and line ridin' 
4. Blocked shots. Take a few rippers for the team. 
5. Does Dave Grohl get nervous when playing a show? No. He slugs two pots of coffee like a psychopath and gets the place rockin'. Because That's What ROCKSTARS Do!
6. In all seriousness, I actually wear the same suit to every game. All navy. the only thing that changes are socks and the tie. The tie only if we lose. Like this is actually in real life...

1. Not olive garden or Applebee's. That is a junior hockey reference and if someone gets that, we are cool. Let's be honest, it has to be the greasiest place on the planet with enough mom's for the boys to take home.
2. I don't know if there is such a thing as a favorite fruit... i guess apples?
3. Bro, cleaning. I'll do all the yard work and cooking.
4. probably @thadthrasher's birthday in college. I pulled the all-nighter the night before and then kept rolling. 
5. Taco Bell. For reason's I will never be able to explain.
6. If anyone puts anything other than the 2004, Disney, Sports/Drama, 2 hour and 15 minute long, cinematic masterpiece, MIRACLE, then they are wrong and deserve to be traded immediately. There is only one movie and one movie only. 

1. Not olive garden or Applebee's. That is a junior hockey reference and if someone gets that, we are cool. Let's be honest, it has to be the greasiest place on the planet with enough mom's for the boys to take home.
2. I don't know if there is such a thing as a favorite fruit... i guess apples?
3. Bro, cleaning. I'll do all the yard work and cooking.
4. probably @thadthrasher's birthday in college. I pulled the all-nighter the night before and then kept rolling. 
5. Taco Bell. For reason's I will never be able to explain.
6. If anyone puts anything other than the 2004, Disney, Sports/Drama, 2 hour and 15 minute long, cinematic masterpiece, MIRACLE, then they are wrong and deserve to be traded immediately. There is only one movie and one movie only. 

STOCKHOLM, SWE - While the Stockholm Vikings are cruising through the VHLE season, the franchise's rookie standout, Mikhail Lospenov, has been caught in the middle of storm; a political firestorm. 
 
Lospenov, a Penza, RU native, has been the center of the media attention around the Vikings this week in the midst of growing tensions between Russia, Ukraine, and NATO allies.
 
Earlier this week, reporters probed the teenaged winger for his opinion on his native country and its aggression toward its western neighbor. In a shaken state, Lospenov responded with an answer that has left many criticizing the youngster.
 
“Wars happen,” spoke Lospenov. “Wars happen, and that’s never going to change. I hope there is no war, but if there is, I hope it ends quickly and we move on.”
 
The response from Lospenov has drawn critics to say that the Russian native sees nothing wrong with the actions of Vladimir Putin and the Russian government. Others have drawn a conclusion that Lospenov’s words appear cold and undisturbed by the horrors of warfare.
 
Lospenov’s agent, Christian Gostlivic, refuted the critics of the statements, saying: “Mikhail is a young man who is not involved with politics and is trying to remain focused on the goal of winning hockey games. To assume that these statements were made with mal-intent, is ignorance of the media when looking at a teenage boy.”

STOCKHOLM, SWE - While the Stockholm Vikings are cruising through the VHLE season, the franchise's rookie standout, Mikhail Lospenov, has been caught in the middle of storm; a political firestorm. 
 
Lospenov, a Penza, RU native, has been the center of the media attention around the Vikings this week in the midst of growing tensions between Russia, Ukraine, and NATO allies.
 
Earlier this week, reporters probed the teenaged winger for his opinion on his native country and its aggression toward its western neighbor. In a shaken state, Lospenov responded with an answer that has left many criticizing the youngster.
 
“Wars happen,” spoke Lospenov. “Wars happen, and that’s never going to change. I hope there is no war, but if there is, I hope it ends quickly and we move on.”
 
The response from Lospenov has drawn critics to say that the Russian native sees nothing wrong with the actions of Vladimir Putin and the Russian government. Others have drawn a conclusion that Lospenov’s words appear cold and undisturbed by the horrors of warfare.
 
Lospenov’s agent, Christian Gostlivic, refuted the critics of the statements, saying: “Mikhail is a young man who is not involved with politics and is trying to remain focused on the goal of winning hockey games. To assume that these statements were made with mal-intent, is ignorance of the media when looking at a teenage boy.”

1. I hope so! That Lospenov kid is kinda good.
2. Our Glorious GM (all praises be to him) twisted my arm into devoting time into this while only casually disclosing secrets to be better...
3. Not really. If anything, the Lospenov family, especially Mikhail's older brother, definitely hates @thadthrasher and the Marlins. 
4. I will fight people for every slice of French Toast.
5. Moose. There is nothing sarcastic or comedic here. Just a moose. 
6. Definitely not what I do now. I wanted to be a pilot. 

1. I hope so! That Lospenov kid is kinda good.
2. Our Glorious GM (all praises be to him) twisted my arm into devoting time into this while only casually disclosing secrets to be better...
3. Not really. If anything, the Lospenov family, especially Mikhail's older brother, definitely hates @thadthrasher and the Marlins. 
4. I will fight people for every slice of French Toast.
5. Moose. There is nothing sarcastic or comedic here. Just a moose. 
6. Definitely not what I do now. I wanted to be a pilot. 

HOUSTON, TX – After a shortcoming in the VHLM Playoffs last season, the Houston Bulls added what they hope will be a key offensive piece in Mikhail Lospenov via a trade with the Mississauga Hounds.
 
Lospenov, a Penza, RU native, spent his rookie season in Mississauga, and despite a less-than stellar performance from his team, he dazzled throughout the 72 games that he appeared in. Over the season, Lospenov led the Hounds in goals with 46 tallies and finished second in points behind teammate Nayt Bedard with 102.
 
Breaking the century mark in points is nothing new for a skilled player in the VHLM, but what impresses about Lospenov’s line is that the Russian forward did so in his first professional campaign and on a team, that, to put it softly: was horrific.
 
The “clutch factor” was truly present for Lospenov in his opening campaign in the league, as the winger marked four game-winning goals and turned away 43 opponent shots on the defensive side of the puck.
 
“I take pride in stepping up in those big moments for my team,” said Lospenov in an interview with the local CBS affiliate this week. “You don’t wake up and say, I’m going to be the guy who wins the game; You wake up and say I’m going to do what I can for my team. Sometimes that ends up meaning you have to get the job done, and that feels so rewarding.”
 
Lospenov earned a respectable reputation within the fan-base for his dedication to victory, albeit a few of them, but the faith of the fans and the organization were put to the test in October.
 
In what was a quickly exposed scandal, Lospenov’s agent, Christian Gostlivic, began probing VHLM general managers for trade offers to move his client to a more successful situation. Lospenov, who has been adamant of his exclusion from the conversations and decisions made by Gostlivic, quickly separated himself from the now unemployed agent.
 
The scandal put a heavy weight on Lospenov to prove his devotion to the Hounds, but despite his best efforts, Mississauga made the decision to move on from the situation entirely by dealing Lospenov to the Bulls.
 
“I’ve said this a hundred times, and I will say it again: I had no knowledge of my former agent’s dealings,” said Lospenov on VSN Tonight. “The situation was not ideal, but that happens with teams. You have a down season, you restock, and you build for the future. I wanted to be a part of that. I never wanted to leave.”
 
Regardless of the situation in Mississauga, Lospenov may not have a choice in his timeline with Houston, as the forward is closing in on a call-up to the next Level.
 
Drafted with the 28th overall pick in the VHLE Draft by Stockholm, Lospenov has an easily obtainable goal to strive for.
 
Beyond the VHLE, Lospenov has, as of today, signed his Entry-level deal the Helsinki Titans of the VHL who drafted him with the 40th overall pick.
 
The $5 million-dollar deal is enough to entice Lospenov to accelerate his development and leave the VHLM in the dust.
 
Should he be eligible for the S81 edition of the VHLM, Lospenov will undoubtedly help propel the Bulls into a strong contender.  

HOUSTON, TX – After a shortcoming in the VHLM Playoffs last season, the Houston Bulls added what they hope will be a key offensive piece in Mikhail Lospenov via a trade with the Mississauga Hounds.
 
Lospenov, a Penza, RU native, spent his rookie season in Mississauga, and despite a less-than stellar performance from his team, he dazzled throughout the 72 games that he appeared in. Over the season, Lospenov led the Hounds in goals with 46 tallies and finished second in points behind teammate Nayt Bedard with 102.
 
Breaking the century mark in points is nothing new for a skilled player in the VHLM, but what impresses about Lospenov’s line is that the Russian forward did so in his first professional campaign and on a team, that, to put it softly: was horrific.
 
The “clutch factor” was truly present for Lospenov in his opening campaign in the league, as the winger marked four game-winning goals and turned away 43 opponent shots on the defensive side of the puck.
 
“I take pride in stepping up in those big moments for my team,” said Lospenov in an interview with the local CBS affiliate this week. “You don’t wake up and say, I’m going to be the guy who wins the game; You wake up and say I’m going to do what I can for my team. Sometimes that ends up meaning you have to get the job done, and that feels so rewarding.”
 
Lospenov earned a respectable reputation within the fan-base for his dedication to victory, albeit a few of them, but the faith of the fans and the organization were put to the test in October.
 
In what was a quickly exposed scandal, Lospenov’s agent, Christian Gostlivic, began probing VHLM general managers for trade offers to move his client to a more successful situation. Lospenov, who has been adamant of his exclusion from the conversations and decisions made by Gostlivic, quickly separated himself from the now unemployed agent.
 
The scandal put a heavy weight on Lospenov to prove his devotion to the Hounds, but despite his best efforts, Mississauga made the decision to move on from the situation entirely by dealing Lospenov to the Bulls.
 
“I’ve said this a hundred times, and I will say it again: I had no knowledge of my former agent’s dealings,” said Lospenov on VSN Tonight. “The situation was not ideal, but that happens with teams. You have a down season, you restock, and you build for the future. I wanted to be a part of that. I never wanted to leave.”
 
Regardless of the situation in Mississauga, Lospenov may not have a choice in his timeline with Houston, as the forward is closing in on a call-up to the next Level.
 
Drafted with the 28th overall pick in the VHLE Draft by Stockholm, Lospenov has an easily obtainable goal to strive for.
 
Beyond the VHLE, Lospenov has, as of today, signed his Entry-level deal the Helsinki Titans of the VHL who drafted him with the 40th overall pick.
 
The $5 million-dollar deal is enough to entice Lospenov to accelerate his development and leave the VHLM in the dust.
 
Should he be eligible for the S81 edition of the VHLM, Lospenov will undoubtedly help propel the Bulls into a strong contender.  

1) What are your thoughts on the award recipients for this season?
I feel like there should be ties for some awards. There are some cases where there needs to be a clear winner.
2) Now that the draft has concluded, welcome to all our new players! Anything you'd like to say? 
I'm excited to join the team. I now have a goal to strive for.
3) What are your goals for you player this season?
Further develop and actually make the VHL
4) What do you think our team goals should be?
Develop into a cup contender and begin chasing a dynasty
5) If you could swim as fast as a motor boat, or float in the air as fast as a snail, which would you choose?
I mean, the world is 70% water so it's turbo travel all the time if you can swim that fast.
6) What is the most important part of hockey training in your opinion?
Having mits is great, but play recognition is forgotten about. That's what really separates good from great.
7) Tell me the best joke you've ever heard.
...The Buffalo Sabres... I'll be here all week!

MISSISSAUGA, ONT – After the Mississauga Hounds snapped their nine-game losing skid with a win last night, the attitude in the dressing room was anything but jubilant.
The Hounds defeated the Las Vegas Aces 4-3 to break their streak, but as the horn sounded, there was no on-ice celebration as per the norm with a victorious club.
 
Instead, nearly half of the Hounds roster reacted as if the game had resulted in a defeat, quickly turning and walking down the tunnel to the dressing room.
The move left many in the stands and in the commentary booth perplexed.
 
“Now, this is a first for me folks,” expressed Terry Borne perplexedly on the CBC broadcast. “I get that there isn’t much to celebrate at this point, but this is just bizarre. I have never seen anything like this in 31 years of broadcasting this sport.”
 
The CBC crew, not getting the on-ice images that they were hoping for, cut to the camera that is mounted in the visiting tunnel in hopes of getting a different reaction, but they only saw the same filing of players to the dressing room.
 
The one expression of emotion came just before the awaiting door to the Hounds’ room as winger Mikhail Lospenov gestured with a twirling-finger motion and let out a sarcastic “whoopty-doo” before crossing the door’s threshold.
 
“Mikhail Lospenov’s reaction, especially without the knowledge that there was a camera trained on the tunnel, tells you everything you need to know about the mood in Mississauga,” said VSN Tonight’s Pierre Tuteau following the game. “The only people seeing that gesture and hearing the sarcastic remarks are those on the team and on the staff. He’s trying to send a message. He is trying to get a point across that something has to change.”
 
Mississauga is now 16 points behind the Miami Marauders for last place in the Eastern Conference and third from the bottom in the entire league. With half of the season gone, there is almost no chance, barring a “Miracle on Ice“ level event.
 
In most situations, teams would be dealing away veterans in order to stockpile picks for the future, but in the case of the Hounds, there are no veterans to trade away.
“The best chance for the Hounds to try and improve by the draft is to start shipping out late picks and get into on round higher,” said VSN writer Dan Martin.
 
Mississauga has a pair of 4th round picks to accompany a full slate of sections in the upcoming draft. One of those 4th round picks could be used as leverage, if not both, to move up to an early 3rd round or even a 2nd round spot if the situation is right.
 
The issue with the higher pick approach is that it could leave the Hounds in a similar situation like they are currently in.
 
As an alternative, Mississauga could dump a 4th rounder for a 5th and a 6th round pick or even another 4th and a player if their pick is high enough.
 
At the end of the day, there is clearly concern amongst all involved with the Mississauga Hounds, and it will take a serious overhaul to try and right the ship.

MISSISSAUGA, ONT – Mississauga Hounds forward Mikhail Lospenov may be moments way from asking to jump overboard from the sinking ship that is the Hounds’ season.
 
Lospenov, a rookie, stand-out winger, has seen his play continue to grow despite his team’s cataclysmic fall to the bottom of the Eastern Conference.
 
Already with 20 goals in his rookie campaign, Lospenov has become a valuable trade asset for the Hounds.
 
Christian Gostlivic, Lospenov’s agent, made a foreshadowing statement, Tuesday, about his client’s future north of the border.
 
“Mikhail is a winner, that’s what he is,” he explained to reporters. “He wants to be in a winning culture and be able to grow at the same time. He needs that, now, while he is young and needs to be in a system that benefits him.”
 
With the statement from his agent, Lospenov has now been eyed by a few teams who could be making a call to the Mississauga front office in the coming days.

https://imgur.com/a/80PFEH3

BLAINE, MN – Mikhail Lospenov might be the quiet and confident type, but his practice sessions have left scouts raving about the VHLM Draft hopeful.
 
Lospenov, 18, spent last week at Fogerty Arena in Blaine working out for VHLM, VHLE and VHL scouts in open sessions twice a day. After a week of note taking and film watching, scouts and analysts have been praising Lospenov’s skillset non-stop.
 
“His shooting ability is unmatched by anyone else his age,” said an anonymous scout. “He has that instant-impact material and it’s only going to get better.”
 
Besides his on-ice showings, Lospenov has been working on his off-ice skills, as he has been attending advanced English courses throughout his time stateside.
 
“It’s important to me that I know English, because that is what everyone speaks,” said Lospenov after leaving one of his classes. “I need to be able to communicate with my teammates on and off the ice so that we can accomplish our goals together.”
 
Lospenov has already been in contact with multiple teams about his willingness to play for them, if he is to be drafted.

Mississauga, ONT – Former third round draft pick Mikhail Lospenov has already rewarded the Mississauga Hounds red-light tallies through the first nine games of the VHLM season.
 
Lospenov, 18, was drafted 31st overall in the S80 draft, a position that was far below original expectations, and was determined to prove that the other 32 picks were mistakes.
 
“It was a little discouraging at first,” said Lospenov. “I have put all of that behind me, and I know that I have to prove that I belong where I was picked and even beyond that.
 
The Russian forward is certainly proving a strong selection for the Hounds as he has totaled 13 points through his opening nine games of his career. Of the 13 points, five of those have come by way of Lospenov’s lethal shooting ability, confirming all of the scouting praise leading to the S80 Draft.
 
“I’ve had a lot of success, all my life, when I shoot the puck,” Lospenov explained. “There are a lot of great goaltenders and defenses at this level, and it is comforting to know that I can generate offense already and still have so much room for growth.”
 
Lospenov’s scoring success didn’t take long to come about, as he amassed six points in his first three games of his career. The opening game of the season saw the Russian with his first multi-point night, scoring a goal and an assist.
 
The biggest showing for the young Lospenov came in the third game of the season, an overtime win over Philadelphia, when Lospenov totaled two goals and an assist, including the overtime winner.
 
“This young man’s ability to change a game, and for that matter win a game, is what sets him apart from the other guys drafted this season,” said VSN analyst Maxime Tybureaux. “It is very difficult, at his age, to jump into this level of competition and immediately start scoring. Usually, a rookie will see his numbers climb in the second half of the season, but Mikhail Lospenov has hit the ground running and is tearing this league apart.”
 
Early in the season, Mississauga has relied heavily on the youngster with his ice time being a significant factor in his performance. The drawback to the increased playtime, however, has been Lospenov’s lackluster showing in the defensive end, where he has narrowly kept his plus/minus in the positives at +1.
 
“Everyone is acting like this is a surprise that Mikhail Lospenov is on the ice when the Hounds are being scored on,” ranted Tybureaux. “This was in bold on every scouting report, I said it, every analyst who sat at this desk said it. This kid is an offensive threat and lacks on the defensive side of the puck. The positive of this is that we are seeing him play better in his own end with each passing game.”
 
Lospenov has recorded nine hits in as many game, proving that while not the most aggressive player, he is understanding that the VHLM demands a two-way role in order to remain successful from night to night.
 
The Hounds have struggled to earn wins in the early goings, but with a healthy top-six of drafted scorer, including Lospenov, fortune could quickly change in Mississauga.

This is very well done! It's clean, the render is wonderful, and this looks like professional grade work. Have you ever thought about doing this as a job? 10/10 easily

https://imgur.com/a/YNe8CNV

LOSPENOV WORKS OUT STATESIDE FOR SCOUTS
 
BLAINE, MN – With his entry draft fast approaching, Russian-born forward Mikhail Lospenov has come stateside to work out in front of US-based scouts.
 
Lospenov, 18, has been demolishing defenses in the MHL, the Russian junior league, with Lokomotiv Yaroslavl, but has decided that the time has come to leave his native land and explore options outside of the KHL.
 
“I’ve only been to America to be a tourist and watch my brother play,” said Lospenov. “This time, I’m here to work and get drafted.”
 
The forward has been putting in the work in Blaine, MN where he has been on the ice at Fogerty Arena, the same arena where his older brother Vanek won an NAHL Robertson Cup with the Aberdeen Wings six years ago.
 
Last week, Lospenov was performing two skates per day, one with full pads and the other in shell protection.
 
On numerous occasions, multiple VHL scouts have attended these workouts, making note of the youngster’s speed and shooting abilities that dazzled during his days in Russia.

Yeah so, I actually do a lot of what this is about for a living. 
 
I'm a Media Relations Manager and Broadcaster for an ECHL team. I write press releases, write feature stories, shoot videos, run social media, etc. on a daily basis.
 
And yes, our social media voice is very sarcastic, and I do roast people from the team's accounts. 
 
This is fun because I don't have to research stats and get clearances from our NHL affiliate to post anything. 

MIKHAIL LOSPENOV
Lokomotiv Yaroslavl (MHL)
 
Report Compiled By: Grant LaRoque (fmr. SD Marlins scout)
 
PROFILE
Position: Forward
Shoots: Right
Height / Weight: 6’3, 187 lbs
Born: August 7, 2003 | Penza, RU
Nation: Russia
 
REPORT
Lospenov is a speedy, agile, forward who has proven himself a scoring threat against same-level competition and beyond. A no-brainer for the Lokomotiv top-6 moving forward, Lospenov carries himself with a professional attitude. While he has been able to crack the senior line-up for his club, he has the potential to far exceed what the KHL can offer him, hence the desire and necessity to enter the VHLM.
 
It is no secret that the Lospenov name carries a hefty burden on Mikhail, especially since his brother, Vanek, recently called it quits after just a 4 ½ year career with the San Diego Marlins. The world has already seen that the younger of the Lospenovs carries himself with a class and authority, unlike his older sibling, but the noise is still there, and all eyes are on Mikhail Lospenov’s every move.
 
SKATING
Lospenov can blow by anyone who gets caught sleeping on the defensive side of the puck. To put it plainly, the kid is fast, really fast. His edgework is pristine amongst junior competition, but he leaves more to be desired when trying to craft his way into the slot. Speed can get him there, but the swift movements leave him vulnerable to being caught off balance. Luckily for a team that pick him, that is coachable.
 
SHOOTING/PLAYMAKING
The question isn’t if Lospenov can score, but rather how many can he score? A lethal shot, accompanied by the speed that he possesses, makes for a nearly unstoppable offensive lamp-lighter in Lospenov. The range on this kid’s shot is unbelievable, showing steady climb and velocity even from the top corner of the blue line. A simple cutback into a middle-ice lane, and you can already start inking up your score sheet.
 
The drawback, he’s not great in-tight. He’s big, he’s strong, but he’s timid. Any coach should focus on contact drills and get this kid comfortable with a net-side battle. Do that, and its game over.
 
 HOCKEY SENSE
Lospenov has hockey in his blood. While his brother may have been more into off-ice tactics, Mikhail is all about the ice. He sees the game like very few can. Finding open lanes is one thing, anticipating them and making the dish before it even appears is what sets Lospenov apart.
 
Bottom line: This kid is a hockey player.
 
 PROJECTION
Lospenov has what it takes to be a top-6 VHL star someday. Scratch that; A top-line VHL star. His development is on pace to see him make the show in no-time and make an immediate impact when he does.

I disagree with this statement

Swamp Rabbits