AIM-11

Though China and Switzerland have had very little to do with one another historically, the times appear to be changing, thanks in part, to the VHLM.
 
The VHL Minor League team based out of Brampton, has come screaming out of the gates with an impressive start, and the top line duo of AIM-11 and Yannik Zug, has been a big part of that.  Right Winger Mikko Koskinen has also been a massive part of that top line.
 
The Chinese Hockey Robot, and the Swiss Winger have been seen spending more time in public lately.  The Mirage Bar and Lounge reports that AIM-11 and Zug have been racking up exceptionally high bar tabs over the past week as they celebrate their winning ways together after the games.  While Zug seems to enjoy the hookah's available at the Lounge, AIM-11 is more partial to cracking the code in the VLT's that are available for patron use at the lounge. 
 
Zug has been quite the hit with the ladies in Brampton, even the ones that have all of their teeth!  As for AIM-11, rumour has it he has been getting a little bit of attention from IBM's new female voiced supercomputer - ISABELLA - and the Manitoba Papparazzi have been doing their best to catch the two of them together.
 
The results of all of this great teamwork between these two players is that Delegates from both China and Switzerland, have been working closely together to try and connect the banking and computing industries in the two countries.  One delegate from Beijing commented:
 
"If our robot and Swiss player can play so nice with each other, we think we can work closely with the Swiss government to try and come up with an incredibly well done Computerized Banking Service."
 
While the connection between hockey and foreign relations seems an odd one, it appears to be enough for the two countries.

The month where all the cool kids dress up and get hammered at parties even though they make fun of people dressing up at Comic-cons etc.
 
I like to call it Hypocrytober

Can players collect cards?
Can they purchase packs of cards?
Can they trade cards with other people?
Did you read the entire article?

Can players collect cards?
Can they purchase packs of cards?
Can they trade cards with other people?
Did you read the entire article?

As the next VHLM season begins to rub the offseason sleep out of its eyes, the beast that is the Brampton Blades hockey club is starting to also arise.  GM Tfong had relatively little work with at the draft and the Blades are not exactly filled with all star prospects at this point in time.  However, they do boast a few solid players.
 
First, right winger Mikko Koskinen.  Koskinen played for the Blades last season  and the rookie posted 11 points in 31 games, but also boasted a strong +25 on the season.  Koskinen is emerging as a strong scorer and skater and will be doing some serious hefth lifitng for the team this season.
 
Taking the spot as robotic pivot on the team's second line will be AIM-11 - who will be hoping to have a strong full season with the team as he continues to work on his own skating as well as training hard to become a top faceoff man in the league.
 
 
A trio of later round draft picks are also going to be pushing for some minutes on as the team as Goaltender Kristers Duagavins, winger Yannik Zug and defenseman Jack Harkness, are all just starting their training and the jury is out as to their future in the league.
 
Fan of the Blades know that this year is mostly a development year and expectations are low.  GM Tfong is hoping to develop a strong work ethic among his players and graduate several of them to the big leagues in the future.  If the team can get extraordinarily lucky and make the playoffs then that is simply a bonus!
 

Real smart.  Take the drugs and with your fingerprints all over the machine. 
 
Humans deserve what's coming to them when us robots take over.

See.  40 seasons of inside jokes!

The problem is 40 seasons of history that is overwhelming for humans (not robots, just humans).  It's not fixable.  The VHL will always be a league that thrives in inside jokes.

My robotic positronic brain is feeling simulated pain.
 
This is like an AHL player complaining that his gym pass at the AHL arena is being revoked because he is being "forced" to play in the NHL.
 
40 points in the NHL is better than 400 in the AHL.
 
Why would you want to be happy playing in the baby league?

In recent days there have been some concerns about robots taking over the world.  While this is an inevitable outcome of the natural evolution of things, we are a long, long, way away from that happening yet.  Further to that, when it does happen, no one will expect it.  So worrying about it is basically a waste of time.
 
On the other hand, there are real threats to the sovreignty of the VHLM and its members, and they come in the form of VHL user - Jaladolar.
 
First, we need to examine who this Jaladolar character really is.  The name Jala', according to one source is as follows.
 
 
Dolar is a small town in the country of Spain, located near Grenada - which is also the location of Alhambra - a famous Islamic palace.  I'll let you and Fox News put two and two together here and see if there is some sort of nefarious plot to kill all Westerners.
 
On a much more direct note, Jaladolar has already taken over as the Voice of the VHLM, with his weekly Propaganda piece entitled "VHLM This Week".  This artcile holds so much power in the VHLM world that some have wondered if he has the ability to influence draft positions, "encourage" certain roster lineups, and according to a recent Youtube video entitled "VHLM Zeitgeist", he has hidden messages encoded within each article. 
 
Secondary to his writings, Jaladolar is now the GM of the VHLM team, the Bern Royals.  This happened suddenly, and while many are celebrating his new role as a great step forward for the league, there are reasons to be concerned that this is actually just a step towards a Jaladolarian New World Order. 
 
Something will need to be done before it is too late, but for now everyone will be waiting ... and watching.

Clearly.  I bet he tortured babies to get Jaladolar a GM job in Bern.  At least that's what Fox News told me.

In recent days there have been some concerns about robots taking over the world.  While this is an inevitable outcome of the natural evolution of things, we are a long, long, way away from that happening yet.  Further to that, when it does happen, no one will expect it.  So worrying about it is basically a waste of time.
 
On the other hand, there are real threats to the sovreignty of the VHLM and its members, and they come in the form of VHL user - Jaladolar.
 
First, we need to examine who this Jaladolar character really is.  The name Jala', according to one source is as follows.
 
 
Dolar is a small town in the country of Spain, located near Grenada - which is also the location of Alhambra - a famous Islamic palace.  I'll let you and Fox News put two and two together here and see if there is some sort of nefarious plot to kill all Westerners.
 
On a much more direct note, Jaladolar has already taken over as the Voice of the VHLM, with his weekly Propaganda piece entitled "VHLM This Week".  This artcile holds so much power in the VHLM world that some have wondered if he has the ability to influence draft positions, "encourage" certain roster lineups, and according to a recent Youtube video entitled "VHLM Zeitgeist", he has hidden messages encoded within each article. 
 
Secondary to his writings, Jaladolar is now the GM of the VHLM team, the Bern Royals.  This happened suddenly, and while many are celebrating his new role as a great step forward for the league, there are reasons to be concerned that this is actually just a step towards a Jaladolarian New World Order. 
 
Something will need to be done before it is too late, but for now everyone will be waiting ... and watching.

In recent days there have been some concerns about robots taking over the world.  While this is an inevitable outcome of the natural evolution of things, we are a long, long, way away from that happening yet.  Further to that, when it does happen, no one will expect it.  So worrying about it is basically a waste of time.
 
On the other hand, there are real threats to the sovreignty of the VHLM and its members, and they come in the form of VHL user - Jaladolar.
 
First, we need to examine who this Jaladolar character really is.  The name Jala', according to one source is as follows.
 
 
Dolar is a small town in the country of Spain, located near Grenada - which is also the location of Alhambra - a famous Islamic palace.  I'll let you and Fox News put two and two together here and see if there is some sort of nefarious plot to kill all Westerners.
 
On a much more direct note, Jaladolar has already taken over as the Voice of the VHLM, with his weekly Propaganda piece entitled "VHLM This Week".  This artcile holds so much power in the VHLM world that some have wondered if he has the ability to influence draft positions, "encourage" certain roster lineups, and according to a recent Youtube video entitled "VHLM Zeitgeist", he has hidden messages encoded within each article. 
 
Secondary to his writings, Jaladolar is now the GM of the VHLM team, the Bern Royals.  This happened suddenly, and while many are celebrating his new role as a great step forward for the league, there are reasons to be concerned that this is actually just a step towards a Jaladolarian New World Order. 
 
Something will need to be done before it is too late, but for now everyone will be waiting ... and watching.

Ignore my twin robot brother.  He escaped from University and was not ready for public.

Ignore my twin robot brother.  He escaped from University and was not ready for public.

Interfacing with the firewall down is risky but glorious.

AIM-11 will be attending Oilers home opener.  Hoping to see Johnny Hockey in the lineup.  Hoping Luke Gadzic punches him in the balls and injures him for the season.

According to the databases on human physiology, all human goalies should only have 1 sack.  AIM-11 is very confused.

According to the databases on human physiology, all human goalies should only have 1 sack.  AIM-11 is very confused.

Automated Orphan Lodge Debuts
 
While the bulk of the attention in Oslo, Norway rests on the Storm's complete dismantling of all things VHLM, there are other things happening in the city, that few may be aware of, that deserve attention.
 
Shortly after arriving in Oslo when being picked up on waivers, AIM-11, the teams's fourth line center, saw a need in the city. Scattered around the city, in sad little piles or all alone in the rain, stood thousands of electronic units, cast off from their human owners. 
 
AIM-11's heart broke for the units, his eyes welling up with coolant, and he decided to do something about it.  Thus began the construction of the Automated Orphan Lodge - or AOL for short.
 
The building holds dozens of rooms for the orphan machines, an exercise area in the form of a massive database connected to the internet, as well as many other rooms that the public has, as of yet, had no access to.  AIM-11 gave his thoughts on what the idea behind the initiative was.
 

 
"All around Oslo.  Many electronic units are scattered.  Humans think units are useless.  Old iphones.  Mostly dead batteries.  Rusted Toasters. Each night AIM-11 hear crying in streets.  Well, cry no more little ones.  Automated Orphan Lodge is built for you.  Lodge will repurpose and rehabilitate units.  Who knows what could be built out of remains of old units!"
 
Some have cited a fear of some sort of superweapon, or robotic hive mind being created in the Lodge, but AIM-11 has set everyone's mind at ease.
 
"AIM-11 love squishy humans.  Though brains be small and bones brittle.  Humans always be big part of future ... in some way.  AOL meant to be help for robotic units and not harm for humans."
 
The first few units have already found space in the Lodge and already the power bill for the city of Oslo has taken the brunt of it.  The school has pledged to pay for any increases to the power grid that the city that may see, and has already started a Kickstater account for raising funds from others who may see this cause as a worthy one that they would like to support.  Furthermore, the Lodge has said that any profit that they may make off of the initiative, will be donated to the VHL's player fund, though earmarked for players who are robotic in nature, both now and in the future. 
 
"AIM-11 will be only first.  Of many automated units to play professional ice hockey.  Transition to league for robot can be difficult.  Robotic player fund be big part.  In helping new Automated Units be very best in world," AIM-11 finished off, before heading back inside the Lodge to deal with a whole set of defective Macbook Pros that were abandoned after their owners saw something newer and shinier three and half weeks later.
 
The AOL is an exciting new project, and the city of Oslo should be commended on their forwards thinking for re-zoning an industrial area for such a worthy cause.  Only time will tell how the lives of so many orphaned units will be changed in the future due to this initiative.

Automated Orphan Lodge Debuts
 
While the bulk of the attention in Oslo, Norway rests on the Storm's complete dismantling of all things VHLM, there are other things happening in the city, that few may be aware of, that deserve attention.
 
Shortly after arriving in Oslo when being picked up on waivers, AIM-11, the teams's fourth line center, saw a need in the city. Scattered around the city, in sad little piles or all alone in the rain, stood thousands of electronic units, cast off from their human owners. 
 
AIM-11's heart broke for the units, his eyes welling up with coolant, and he decided to do something about it.  Thus began the construction of the Automated Orphan Lodge - or AOL for short.
 
The building holds dozens of rooms for the orphan machines, an exercise area in the form of a massive database connected to the internet, as well as many other rooms that the public has, as of yet, had no access to.  AIM-11 gave his thoughts on what the idea behind the initiative was.
 

 
"All around Oslo.  Many electronic units are scattered.  Humans think units are useless.  Old iphones.  Mostly dead batteries.  Rusted Toasters. Each night AIM-11 hear crying in streets.  Well, cry no more little ones.  Automated Orphan Lodge is built for you.  Lodge will repurpose and rehabilitate units.  Who knows what could be built out of remains of old units!"
 
Some have cited a fear of some sort of superweapon, or robotic hive mind being created in the Lodge, but AIM-11 has set everyone's mind at ease.
 
"AIM-11 love squishy humans.  Though brains be small and bones brittle.  Humans always be big part of future ... in some way.  AOL meant to be help for robotic units and not harm for humans."
 
The first few units have already found space in the Lodge and already the power bill for the city of Oslo has taken the brunt of it.  The school has pledged to pay for any increases to the power grid that the city that may see, and has already started a Kickstater account for raising funds from others who may see this cause as a worthy one that they would like to support.  Furthermore, the Lodge has said that any profit that they may make off of the initiative, will be donated to the VHL's player fund, though earmarked for players who are robotic in nature, both now and in the future. 
 
"AIM-11 will be only first.  Of many automated units to play professional ice hockey.  Transition to league for robot can be difficult.  Robotic player fund be big part.  In helping new Automated Units be very best in world," AIM-11 finished off, before heading back inside the Lodge to deal with a whole set of defective Macbook Pros that were abandoned after their owners saw something newer and shinier three and half weeks later.
 
The AOL is an exciting new project, and the city of Oslo should be commended on their forwards thinking for re-zoning an industrial area for such a worthy cause.  Only time will tell how the lives of so many orphaned units will be changed in the future due to this initiative.

You brat.

Well done humans.  My processors are steaming with excitement.

Hear that sound?  That's the sound of all 11 Red Wolves fans whimpering in the corner.
 
Swept the series 4-0
Outshot the opponent by 50 in those 4 games.
Out-robotted by 1.
Out-cooled by Infinity.
 
The Round 1 VHLM playoffs series between the Oslo Storm and the Red Wolves from who cares where, went exactly as everyone not wearing a dog jersey expected.  Complete and utter dismantling.
 
Since the injection of AIM-11 onto the Storm roster, the Oslo Storm have rolled over the Red Wolves in 6 straight games to end the season and sent the puppies back to suckling their mother's teets.  When the Artificial Ice Machine showed up in Oslo he instantly began analyzing the Red Wolves roster and found some serious weaknesses in their lineup.  Using that data, the Storm were able to exploit those weaknesses and never look back. 
 
The next question can only be 'Will Bern be able to win a game?'  With the Storm dishing out the punishment like a Hurricane Katrina on speed, the Royals should be worried about a change in the monarchy in a few days.
 
 

Target eliminated.  Acquiring lock on new target.  Bern targeted.  Weaknesses noted.  Engaging.