Doomsday

Content: 3/3 - The Super Cup is a bit of an underwhelming name, but really, I don't know what else it could really be called. Fantasy Cup just sounds like dungeons and dragons, Draft Cup sounds silly and the Something To Do This Off-Season Cup is too long and truthful. Grammar: 2/2 - Yep. Appearance: 1/1 - GIFs! Overall: 6/6 - Fantasy Cups! FINAL: 6/6

Content: 3/3 - It'll be interesting to see how much 1st round talent the Lynx had after this season. Jeevan Samuelsson for 1st overall! Grammar: 2/2 - The destroyer of penguins got this covered. Appearance: 1/1 - Awww yiss! Overall: 6/6 - WHERE ARE THE SMILIES!? FINAL: 6/6

Content: 3/3 - I would think that Remy would be more worried about the alcohol being served as opposed to the table decorations. Unless the decorations are pucks that made it past him... then it'd be tough to decorate all the tables. Grammar: 2/2 - Team that beat the Penguins last night got this. Appearance: 1/1 - Sehr schon! Overall: 6/6 - Uh huh! FINAL: 6/6

Content: 3/3 - Pretty awesome to see some of the all-time value picks over the years, very cool to see guys making it big going so late in the draft. Grammar: 2/2 - Just one goof, very nice! seen Smooth Jive still on the draft = saw Smooth Jive still on the draft Appearance: 1/1 - Pretty pictures! Overall: 6/6 - Ayyyyyy!

3 2 1 RUSH! Content: 3/3 - Very interesting look at what goes into choosing the location of an expansion franchise Grammar: 2/2 - For the length of the article, relatively few mistakes. decided the wanted to = decided they wanted to an intention too = an intention to an NBA franchises = an NBA franchise Joey Kendrick though this = Joey Kendrick thought this Appearance: 1/1 - AH BOB SAGET! Overall: 6/6 - I miss the thumbs up smiley.

Content: 3/3 - I had six points in my first season in the VHL, so at least you beat that. You won't mind a lack of awards and whatnot in the VHLM once you get to the VHL and start to be an awesome player anyway. Grammar: 2/2 - Pretty solid man. out shining = out-shining get up to point per game = get up to a/one point per game and that is the VHL = and that is the VHL (was an extra space inbetween and & that) Appearance: 1/1 - You got a purty smile, boy. Overall: 6/6 - Yup!

You thought correctly, agreed.

Well, this is pretty puzzling.

Actual image of the invasion.

Holy crap. Bob Saget surely is invading both of our minds... I seem to be worse off (or better off? This is Bob Saget after all).

Bob Saget Harassing VHL Players? NEW YORK - Bizarre reports out of New York today, as several players of the Americans have filed a grievance with the VHL today. However, the grievance is the oddity, as nowhere in the complaint is the team's record, style of management or Alex Mason's harassment issues mentioned even once. The team has apparently been victimized and plagued by the rogue actions of an angered fan at virtually every home game played by the Americans this season. The truly perplexing factor of this story is the alleged identity of the fan: Bob Saget. Americans center Dwayne Chocolate has gone on record to state that Saget has shone a laser pointer into the eyes of himself and other teammates. The laser is reportedly strong enough to etch designs in the ice, which Atticus von Braxton III has said usually tends to be a penis drawn directly in front of the goalie. Very loud outbursts have also been witnessed, with Saget typically screaming, "THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE!" Players have typically responded to this by screaming, "AH BOB SAGET!" or "OH BOB SAAAAGET!" which at the very least has brought some entertainment to the home crowd in New York. The players have demanded that Saget be barred from attending any VHL or VHLM arena in order to prevent further abuses. The VHL/VHLM Player's Union is preparing to take the case for the players and put their full might into it, meaning New York could once again only have the player's names in the program to enjoy this season. Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times and has plenty of room in his home for whatever he does, you nosy bastard. He enjoys depriving nuns of their rulers, walking into womens' homes and disinfecting their vegetables and reading a good book every now and then.

Go Daddy Secretly A Pornographic Website NEW YORK - It didn't even take a full season for disaster to once again strike the Victory Hockey League. However, this time it appears as if the VHL was simply an innocent bystander caught in the middle of an unfolding controversy. Popular web domain registrar Go Daddy, which apparently hosts the VHL's vast database of historical and current information, has recently been identified as a major distributor of pornographic materials by the FBI, including some materials considered highly illegal. While the investigation is being conducted, all domains run through Go Daddy have been shut down, leaving customers of the embattled company unable to access their data, with the VHL being one of those customers. "It's frustrating," said VHL commissioner Victor Alfredsson. "We've worked so hard in order to get past the issues we've had with our previous website and now that we finally seemed to be settling in, this happens. I'm beginning to suspect either our server was built on top of the ancient burial grounds of the SHL or that Jardy's alcoholism is angering a god of some sort." No arrests have been made as of the time of print, but founder and former CEO Bob Parsons is believed to be the one behind the sultry secrets of the company he built up. The FBI's probe, launched over four years ago during the height of Go Daddy's surge in domains and users, sought to identify Parsons' role in the scheme, along with how much he profited from the pornography enterprise. "In retrospect, it sure isn't that surprising," sighed Agent Raymond Fonzarelli. "I mean, the more or less complete and utter dependence of sex to sell their image and garner publicity. The way they got people to go to their website to view the banned commercials and risque, appalling content. Just a clever ruse to sell more sex under the guise of web domains. Almost embarrassing that it took a four-year long federal probe to figure it all out. Almost." Current CEO Blake Irving is cooperating fully with authorities and is reportedly maintaining his innocence, as unlikely as it would seem to be as the head of the company. "Mr. Irving is fully cooperating with us," stated Agent Fonzarelli. "I can offer no further comments on that matter." If it seems impossible to say that the VHL continued to use the services of Go Daddy knowing that they were secretly pushing out pornography, that might be because it is. "How were we supposed to know it would come to this?" stated a man responding to the name of Jardy. "We were sending them a vigorous and consistent flow of hard cash and we were immensely satisfied upon the conclusion of all of our transactions. They were always firm in their stature and demeanor and were always looking to experiment with us in order to reach the climax we desired. We could not have been more pleased with how Go Daddy treated us, regardless of how many boobies they tried to sell us." Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, along with being a real cool guy. He enjoys making detailed, concise notes on how many times his co-workers fall asleep on the job, trying to perfect the recipe for liberty and finishing his thesis that proves that Joe Namath is a bitch.

You can be just as awesome as me! Join our crack squad of grammar warriors!

Content: 3/3 - Best of luck to you, Davey Jones. An awesome teammate in Bratislava and it's been just as awesome to see you doing far more than anyone other than us knew you could do. Grammar: 2/2 - Looked good to me! Appearance: 1/1 - The Penguins? Gross. Overall: 6/6 - Excellent!

Content: 3/3 - Humorous insights towards the sim's disdain of the young Gow III. Thoroughly enjoyed the jokes at the expense of the Redskins. Grammar: 2/2 - Nothing of notice, well done chap. Appearance: 1/1 - Obligatory due to all the hatred towards the Redskins. Overall: 6/6 - GREAT SUCCESS!

Auto 6/6 IMO. Content: 3/3 - I still don't know what a hockey sex blog is supposed to be, but you've caught my interest. Just be warned that I grade mistakes that other people make that you use as your own. Somebody made a hissy fit over it back on the other site, but yeah. That's how I roll. Grammar: 2/2 - Didn't see anything. Good work there. Appearance: 1/1 - FREEBIES! Overall: 6/6 - Done, you fucking prick.

Content: 3/3 - These two have always been going at it, so it's no surprise that they're also competing to be the worst team in the league as well, just to one-up the other. At least New York can claim that they have by far the most entertaining roster names in the entire league, so take that, Riga! Grammar: 2/2 - Flawless. Appearance: 1/1 - Two New York teams, which is the Americans brah? Overall: 6/6 - Yup!

Content: 3/3 - Pretty good look at the three teams in the hunt for the North American Conference, including their strengths and areas of concern. It's shaping up to be an incredibly tight race and God help the conference if LeBeau goes into the playoffs on fire. Grammar: 2/2 - Pretty good here. the teams core = the team's core bitter sweet = bittersweet continental cup = Continental Cup Appearance: 1/1 - Because sure! Overall: 6/6 - Yessum!

Landry Elevates Physical Play DAVOS - Two can be an awesome number in the proper context. Two strokes on a par three hole. Two minutes to midnight. Two tickets to paradise. Two For Tuesday on 99.9 the Hawk. But what about two hits? In one game, that could be considered sort of ok. But two hits is what Davos Dynamo winger Thomas Landry (then with the New York Americans) registered for an entire season. For a player that was highly expected to bring a tough, physical mentality to the ice like he had done while at Penn State, the passive play of Landry caught nearly everyone off guard except for himself. "On paper, yeah, that looks horrible and it is," said Landry following a team practice. "But when you think about it, I had to be considered the weakness of that team. I did not want to do anything to hurt my teammates' chances at winning the Continental Cup, so I did everything as conservatively as possible. I managed to avoid taking a single penalty all season and a large part of that was the fact that I didn't have to do the dirty work at all. Playing with guys like Ryan Sullivan, David Smalling and Samu Heiskanen meant that I didn't have to make those hits and take the risk of being penalized." But when Landry found himself in Davos after the Americans traded him to begin their rebuilding process, he no longer found himself surrounded by elite hitters. Recalling the degree of his physical play during his days as a Nittany Lion, Davos' general manager, Victor Alfredsson took Landry aside and asked him if he would be able to become the big hitter that the Dynamo were lacking. Through 41 games this season, Landry is currently fourth in the VHL with 178 hits, the most at his position and second only to Miles Larsson among forwards. "Tom was absolutely dedicated to not letting Victor down," said Davos' head coach Terrence Fong. "Throughout the off-season, he was here, even on voluntarily workout days, just busting his ass to make sure he became exactly the kind of hitter the Dynamo needed. With all that hard work, he became an even more complete player and he went from being a liability on New York to becoming one of our best players. He absolutely earned that assistant captain-ship with all he did to get where he is today." While finishing dead-last in the VHL last season, the Dynamo are currently second in the European Conference with 46 points, which would mark a tremendous difference for Davos' hometown boys. With prized goaltender Lennox Moher continuing to improve, the Dynamo's chances of winning a playoffs just a season removed from being the laughingstock of the VHL would be quite possibly just as surprising as Jardy simming a batch of games. However, miracles are bound to happen every now and then. The fact that Charlie Sheen is still alive and the Dynamo's success speak volumes towards that. But at what point does hard work cease to make the unlikely a miracle? For that, just watch Thomas Landry plowing over opposing skaters and you might just find it. Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times and despite having been dead the last ten years, remains in our mortal coil since Death is too afraid to take him on. He enjoys a nice, cold pink lemonade, rustling the jimmies of his uptight neighbors and making thinly veiled insults towards evildoers.

This doesn't allow me to actually change my user title. Also, while on the subject, can my post count get bumped by 600 to reflect what I actually had?

Content: 3/3 - Great attempt at leadership/coup/whatever. Nice for the Bears to know you're silently there... lurking... waiting to take the reins when the moment is right. Additionally, an alternative title for this story: Greg Harbinson's Day Off. Grammar: 2/2 - Pretty good for the most part: know a days = now a days be taken by storm.” “Obviously you = No need for both to have quotation marks, just keep it together. Appearance: 1/1 - Ayyyyyyy! Overall: 6/6 - Success!