VHL Skills Competition [1/2]

[diamond_ace 3,112]

Welcome to the VHL Skills Competition! This is where we put on a show featuring current and a few former VHLers, competing against each other in a few predetermined contests of skill. First, let’s introduce our teams. Team Scarlett will be up first, and it will consist of Motherfucker Sharpe, Sergei Komarov, Vaclav Hrdina, Takashi Fujimoto, Verner Reinholdt, Ay Ay Ron, Aleksei Federov, Ike Arkander, and Astrid Moon. Team Shaw will consist of Keaton Louth, Roman Sokolov, Mats Johnsson, Franchise Cornerstone, David Kiaskov, Lukas Muller, Rhett Degrath, Martin Brookside as a guest former VHLer, and another former VHLer as a guest who will be announced later.

 

 

First up is the fastest skater competition. Winners of each individual pairing will earn 3 points, and the winner overall among the skaters will earn an additional 2 points. The first pairing will be David Kiaskov vs. Verner Reinholdt. The skaters will line up on opposite sides of the red line, the skater at the top facing right and the skater at the bottom facing left. They will both complete one revolution around the ice clockwise, half a lap removed from each other.

 

Kiaskov lines up on the top and Verner lines up on the bottom. They’re given the signal and they’re off. Verner looks like he’s taking a bit of an early lead on the acceleration portion of the skate, but once they get into their regular speed, Kiaskov starts to gain on him, and gets back to his original starting point just before Verner. Kiaskov 18.46 seconds, Verner 18.61 seconds.

 

In the second pairing, Mats Johnsson lines up on the top and Takashi Fujimoto lines up on the bottom. They’re given the signal and Fujimoto starts flying out of the gate, looking like a man possessed. Johnsson’s actually putting up a decent time but it would be hard to tell with how Fujimoto is going. They reach the original starting points and Fujimoto comes in at 18.12 seconds, Johnsson 18.70 seconds.

 

The third pairing is between Rhett Degrath and Astrid Moon, both in full pads. Both skate out to the center circle and touch blockers, knowing that this particular race is more for entertainment and never going to be that competitive with the big goalie pads. Once they’re started though, they each get a decent amount of momentum going and are clearly trying to win the 3 points for their team. They’re only just turning into the home straightaway when the other races would have finished, but they do cross the line in respectable times, Moon 21.04 seconds and Degrath 21.42 seconds. At the end of the fastest skater competition, Team Scarlett has a lead, 8-3.

 

 

Next up is the fastest shot. There are no pairings here, just each individual skater coming up one by one to take their shot. First place gets 5, second gets 3, third gets 1. Fourth through sixth are not awarded points. Roman Sokolov is up first. He lines up, shoots, and it’s a 100.3! First shooter out of the gate breaks 100 and that one might stand for a while. Ay Ay Ron comes up next, and he points to the crowd a little to get them fired up. He shoots, it’s 98.6. Pretty good, and it stands in second right now, but not enough to beat Sokolov. Aleksei Federov skates out and lines up to shoot. The first one misses the target pad and doesn’t register a reading, but each skater is entitled to one additional shot in that case. The second attempt flies toward the net, and records a 99.8. Federov jumps into second but does not dethrone Sokolov. Keaton Louth comes up, takes a few practice swings next to the puck to warm up his arms a bit, then lines up and delivers one toward the net. 98.3 and Louth will not finish in the top three. David Kiaskov takes his turn, so far this competition has been kind to those named Ov, and Kiaskov shoots, and he is no exception! 100.6 and he vaults into the lead ahead of teammate Sokolov. Kiaskov’s shot has knocked Ay Ay Ron out of the top three, and Aleksei Federov into the hot seat ahead of Vaclav Hrdina’s attempt. Kiaskov and Sokolov are guaranteed points now, it’s just a matter of how many. Hrdina skates out to the line, winds up, and shoots a 98.0, good for last place. Kiaskov wins, Sokolov comes second, and Federov comes third, allowing Team Shaw to skyrocket back into the lead, 11-9.

 

 

The Creative Penalty Shot competition is up next, and the only rule is that there are no rules. Props, crowd support, anything you can think of, you can do. Motherfucker Sharpe is up first. He starts at the center line, and very carefully passes the puck off the side boards at a precise angle. There are 9 punching bags in between him and the goal, one with each logo of the teams he doesn’t play for. After sending the puck on its way, he pulls back and winds up for a punch… the punch flies right through the Quebec punching bag! Then the Seattle one, and the Toronto one as well! He switches hands, and the next punch flies through the New York, Riga, and Helsinki punching bags, then he returns to the first hand and throws the final punch through the Stockholm, Davos, and Cologne punching bags, just in time to meet back up with the puck in front of the net. He swings the stick like a golf club and chips the puck into the top corner, past Degrath and in.

 

Komarov lines up next. He takes 5 guys in very well padded sumo suits and sets them up on alternating sides in a zig zag pattern, starting at the left faceoff dot. He skates around the first one, then checks him into the boards, all while maintaining control of the puck. He then skates over to the second one and does the same, then he repeats this with each of the remaining sumo suited players. All five are flat on the ice, lined up against their respective boards, and Komarov never lost the puck. He stops, fires, and shoots the puck at full speed past the five hole of Degrath, into the net, and tearing a hole in it – the shot itself is reminiscent of the famous “knuckle puck” made popular in the Mighty Ducks movies.

  

Verner Reinholdt steps up to the circle. No props this time, but it looks like he’s carrying two sticks, this ought to be interesting. He takes one of the sticks and chips the puck up into the air off the metal post where the glass meets the penalty box. While the puck is in the air, he picks up the other stick, holding one in each hand. He catches the puck on the right stick, then bounces it from one to the other and back to the first, over his head in the shape of a V. He keeps the V formation of the two sticks and the puck in motion between them all the way down the ice, where he tilts one stick at an angle right in front of the net. It’s enough to deflect the puck perfectly past Brookside on the glove side.

 

Cornerstone sets up 6 stones on the ice. The first two are at the corners where the blue line meets the boards, one on each side. The third and fourth stones are at the bottom of each of the two faceoff circles, and the fifth and sixth are tied to the top corners of the net. He skates down the middle and passes it off the stone on the left side of the blue line, does a spin and receives the puck back, to then pass it off the stone on the right side of the blue line. Skating forward a little more, he does the same pass-spin-pass off the stones on the bottom of the faceoff circles. He takes a shot at the left upper corner, knocking the stone out and the puck deflects back to his stick, so he then takes another shot at the right upper corner, knocking that stone out as well and the puck deflects down into the net, sending Arkander every which way.

 

Keaton Louth takes his turn in the center circle. It’s just him, one stick, and the puck, but then he waves up into the crowd… no, it looks like he’s waving at someone in the control booth, because banners have started to descend from the roof of the stadium. It appears to be handmade banners depicting images of some of the best first-gen players throughout league history – Mitch Higgins, Daniel Braxton, Travis Boychuk, and the like. They’re all in one straight line down the middle of the ice, and it appears as though there are eight such banners in total. Louth flips the puck up onto his stick, lifts it and pulls it back, then flings it into the air over the banners, symbolizing his own flight into the first-gen annals himself. The puck drops with precision, bouncing off the rod holding the last banner – a Lars Intranquilo banner, an odd choice because despite his skill, Intranquilo was never a big stats guy – and the deflection rolls the puck into the bottom left corner behind an unsuspecting Moon.

 

Louth points toward the door on the other end of the ice, and it looks like he must have known something. We’d heard there was going to be a guest appearance for this event, and here he is, noted former VHLer Lars Intranquilo! He waves a stick in the air, basking in the roar of the crowd just like the good old days, but age has certainly taken a toll on him. Louth skates off and the banners lift, leaving just Intranquilo at center ice and Moon in the net. Nothing fancy here for Intranquilo, but he was always a fan of self-deprecating humor, so he’s lined up a walker. He skates up to the walker, chipping the puck up and setting it on the cross post. He grips the walker and makes exaggerated “old people” movements toward the goal. It looks like there are mini skate blades under the walker to help it glide across the ice. When he gets in front of the net, he knocks the puck back off the walker, throws it aside, and sets it up. Fancy stick work from the retiree, he always knew his way around the puck. Unfortunately, he was never so great at shooting… he winds up and flings it with all his might, but it deflects weakly off Moon’s blocker.

 

It’s time for the community to weigh in! Live voting for the top three of the last challenge begins now, and will end after we return from commercial break. Let’s hear a word from our sponsors!

 

 

 

We’re back and the vote is closed. The winner is Keaton Louth, followed by Sergei Komarov and Verner Reinholdt. As with the shot competition, points are awarded 5-3-1, and Team Shaw remains ahead, 16-13.

 

 

Two challenges left and the score is still close, so anything can happen. We have the obstacle course left as well as the final shootout. The obstacle course is as follows: cones are set up on the faceoff circles in the defensive end. Each skater must circle around the cones, first the left, then the right. Then they must enter a zig zag course set up by sticks placed on the ground in the neutral zone, that’ll empty them out in the far right corner of the offensive end. Pucks are lined up along the boards, each skater must pass pucks into three mini-nets on the opposite boards, however many passes it takes to put a puck into each mini-net. Then the skater must go behind the net, retrieve a puck there, and skate out to the edge of the faceoff circle, chipping the puck up and over the zig zag course of sticks and into the net on the end back where they started. Time will stop when the puck crosses the goal line.

 

Roman Sokolov is up first. He makes quick work of the two cones, then gets into the zig zag course. He takes the first turn a little cautiously, costing him a few seconds, but the second and third turns are a breeze. He passes toward the mini nets. The first one goes in, the second one goes in, the third one goes in the first net. He already had one in the first net, he needs to put one in the third net. The fourth pass misses, and the fifth pass goes in the third net. Skating behind the net, he picks up the final puck, gets to the faceoff circle and chips it in over the sticks. 42.73 seconds, not a bad time.

 

Motherfucker Sharpe is up next, and while we’re not expecting the most apt footwork from the enforcer, he could surprise people. The first cone is no issue, but he takes the second one just a little wide. He flies through the zig zag course until the third turn, where he just nips the corner of the stick and stumbles a bit. Now for the passing drill. The first pass is in, the second pass has the angle but not the distance and stops just short of the second mini-net. He takes the third pass and bounces it off the second pass, knocking it into the second mini-net and the third pass deflects into the third mini-net! That was a tricky pass and looks to have saved him some time. Going behind the net to collect the puck, he skates up to the faceoff circle and chips the puck up toward the far net, it looks like 42.68 seconds, just faster than Sokolov, but they’re reviewing it in the booth. There’s a debate as to whether Sharpe’s skate reached the circle before he chipped the puck, if he chipped it too early he would be assessed a 3 second penalty. The call is in from upstairs, no penalty, he just nipped the line before the puck left the stick. Sharpe takes the lead.

 

Mats Johnsson comes up, looking for a clean run with everything going smoothly for him. He takes the two cones without issue. The zig zag course presents him no problems either and he takes all turns smoothly. So far this could be the run of the night. He gets to the passing and the first one goes in. The second one goes in as well. The third… and it’s just inches wide! He takes a fourth pass and puts it in the third net, flawless run until there, but could that leave a window? He skates behind the net to collect the puck and gets out to the circle, chipping it over the zig zag course and into the far net, it’s an impressive time of 41.97 seconds! He broke 42 seconds, and that is a phenomenal time, he could be headed for a win as it would take a perfect run to beat him.

 

Takashi Fujimoto is up next, and after having already secured points for his team in the fastest skater, the pressure is off as he lines up. The two cones are no issue as one would expect for a guy who has already proven his skating prowess, but he gets caught up just a little in the zig zag course. He gets through it and onto the passing. He misses the first pass, and it must have gotten into his head a little because he misses the second pass as well. He stops to take a beat, get his mind back, and it works because he knocks out the three passes now with no issue. Skating behind the net and taking the chip shot, he knows the time won’t be there but he finishes for pride and a respectable time of 43.04 seconds.

 

Lukas Muller arrives onto the ice for his first and only competition of the night, and being fresh might give him an advantage. He blazes around the cones and through the zig zag course without so much as a hesitation. Looking great so far. First pass is in, second pass is in, third pass is in, and it’s a perfect run! Now all he has to do is go get the puck and chip it in, and he actually has a chance to dethrone Johnsson, something that didn’t seem likely. He gets the puck, puts it in, he barely lifts it and it only just clears the stick cleanly, but it slides into the corner of the net, in 41.95 seconds! Two hundredths under Johnsson! Not one, but two skaters broke the 42 second barrier, and they came within two hundredths of a second of each other, now that is a fantastic showing by these two players.

 

Vaclav Hrdina comes out for the final skater on the obstacle course and he’s already looking pretty defeated. First and second are pretty well out of reach barring yet another perfect or near perfect run, so perhaps Hrdina has his sights set on third here. The two cones aren’t an issue for him, but he takes the second turn of the zig zag course and lifts his back skate into the back end of his front skate, stumbling a bit. He recovers without falling but that has definitely cost him first or second. Passes go fairly smoothly to begin, the first two go in without issue, but he has to take an extra pass for the third one. He goes behind the net and gets the puck to chip it across the ice and in, and a time of 42.80 seconds is respectable but won’t earn him any points. Top three are Muller, Johnsson, and Sharpe. This event has widened the gap between the two teams again, and it’s now 24-14 in favor of Team Shaw.

 

 

Final shootout time, and here’s how this will work. For the first round of shots, Degrath will be in one net and Moon in the other. Each skater takes a standard, VHL-rules breakaway shot from the center circle (no props or anything that couldn’t be used in a normal game) and any skater that makes their shot gets to continue to the next round. The second round will see Arkander and Brookside in net, and each round will switch out goalies until either all the skaters are eliminated, or the only skaters remaining are from the team that’s in the lead. The order of shooters will be Louth/Sokolov/Johnsson/Cornerstone/Kiaskov/Intranquilo/Muller for team Shaw, and Sharpe/Komarov/Hrdina/Fujimoto/Verner/Ay Ay Ron/Federov for team Scarlett.

 

Louth shoots… it’s a miss.

Sharpe up for Scarlett… in! 24-15.

Sokolov misses.

Komorov misses.

Johnsson misses.

Hrdina scores! 24-16.

Cornerstone scores! 25-16.

Fujimoto scores! 25-17.

Kiaskov misses.

Verner scores! 25-18.

Intranquilo misses.

Ay Ay Ron misses.

Muller scores! 26-18.

Federov scores! 26-19.

 

The teams switch goalies, and Arkander and Brookside get in their respective nets. There are only 2 skaters left for Team Shaw, and 5 for Team Scarlett, so the extra Team Scarlett skaters will take their shots at the end. Could a comeback be on the cards here?

 

Sharpe scores again for Team Scarlett! 26-20.

Cornerstone scores for Shaw! 27-20 and the lead is back to 7.

Hrdina scores! 27-21.

Muller scores! 28-21.

Fujimoto misses.

Verner scores! 28-22.

Federov scores! 28-23.

 

One Team Scarlett player is out this round, leaving the remaining participants at 2 for Team Shaw and 4 for Team Scarlett. The lead is down to 5, but is it too much, now that the better goalies are coming back out?

 

Sharpe misses.

Cornerstone misses.

Hrdina misses.

Muller scores and extends Team Shaw’s lead to 29-23!

Verner scores and cuts into it again, 29-24!

Federov scores, 29-25!

 

Arkander and Brookside are back out there, but now there are few enough players left it looks like too little, too late for Team Scarlett. Can Verner and Federov do the impossible, taking into consideration Team Shaw has Muller and a 4 point lead?

 

Verner scores, 29-26!

Muller misses.

Federov misses.

 

Well, Team Shaw’s skaters are done and it’s down to a 3 point lead, but Verner is the only remaining skater for Team Scarlett. Arkander and Moon are done for the night as well, since they don’t have to stop any Team Shaw skaters now. Degrath vs. Verner, one on one. Degrath has a chance to end it right here and win it for Shaw, and Verner can extend it to another shot against Brookside if he scores.

 

Verner misses, and the competition is over! Team Shaw wins it, 29-26, by building a strong lead in the skills and hanging on in the shootout despite a valiant effort by Verner and Federov to keep things going. That’s it for the VHL Skills Competition this season, tune in next season!

[diamond_ace 3,112]

@STZ @KGR @solas @Devise @Beketov @Gooningitup @Banackock @boubabi @JardyB10 @Quik @Beaviss @BOOM @Exlaxchronicles

 

That should be everyone. This behemoth is like 3400 words or something, so obviously 4 weeks.

11/20-11/26

11/27-12/3

12/4-12/10

12/11-12/17

[diamond_ace 3,112]

Please don't waste all this work not commenting

[BOOM 8,818]

Excellent idea and execution. Scarlett obviously let Shaw win because we are just a bunch of good guys. Pity I sucked at the obstacle course, but at least I have rockets on my skates!

 

Thanks Jason!

[Exlaxchronicles 415]

This was actually pretty cool!

Now in real life, I'd probably come last in the skating department. The hardest shot though..that's another story.

Really good idea!

[diamond_ace 3,112]

1 hour ago, BOOM said:

Excellent idea and execution. Scarlett obviously let Shaw win because we are just a bunch of good guys. Pity I sucked at the obstacle course, but at least I have rockets on my skates!

 

Thanks Jason!

RNG was really good to Shaw in Shot and OC. It was precisely because of this scenario that I claimed poetic license for the final shootout, because in the instance RNG gave one team a massive lead, I could bring in some late drama - and of course, it happened.

[Quik 4,113]

Really cool skills comp. Little heated I lost by 0.02 in the obstacle course and sucked in the fastest skater, but awesome idea and really fun to read! Thanks for doing this @diamond_ace

[diamond_ace 3,112]

Just now, Quik said:

Really cool skills comp. Little heated I lost by 0.02 in the obstacle course and sucked in the fastest skater, but awesome idea and really fun to read! Thanks for doing this @diamond_ace

I did RNG for top 3 in obstacle/skater/shot, it gave you second in obstacle, so I figured I'd make the margin close to balance out the fact that it didn't give you anything in fastest skater (and to fabricate a little drama since the margin between the teams was so wide)

[Quik 4,113]

3 hours ago, diamond_ace said:

I did RNG for top 3 in obstacle/skater/shot, it gave you second in obstacle, so I figured I'd make the margin close to balance out the fact that it didn't give you anything in fastest skater (and to fabricate a little drama since the margin between the teams was so wide)

Hahah no worries, I was only joking. Great write up!

[diamond_ace 3,112]

So I did a donation - can I apply the two doubles to two weeks of a four week PT?

[JardyB10 4,869]

Sharpe can't even take a penalty in a skills comp!

[diamond_ace 3,112]

7 minutes ago, JardyB10 said:

Sharpe can't even take a penalty in a skills comp!

Thought you might enjoy that

[hedgehog337 3,483]

REVIEW:

 

Kiaskov and Louth winning their competitions, Johnson almost winning the obstacle challenge; the S57 draft in full action. One of the best drafts in a recent history tbh. Sharpe wasn't the slowest guy in that challenge lmao, the fuck others were doing there? Oh and nice to see Muller winning something, we need his speed in Riga now so he can win the Continental Cup this season. 

 

@diamond_ace