20 Expansion Teams Not Named the Nuuk Nukes

[Gustav 6,469]

With all the buzz about expansion teams (which is, more or less, simply "every couple weeks someone writes a 'YO WHAT IF WE EXPANDED' article and now I'm doing it too"), it's only fitting that I get in on the action, having never been affiliated with a team that isn't an expansion team. I'm not saying "we should expand," as that's a discussion for another time, and I'm not saying "if we get an expansion team here are the names we should use," either...these are just names that I've come up with that I think are interesting (and we all know that I think "Nuuk Nukes" is a name far superior to anything else, but I've already written about that a few times so I'll leave them out). So here we go, in no particular order, and with apologies to @Motzaburger for saying nothing about Hawaii:

 

Phoenix Firebirds: Here's a bit of a play on words--anyone who knows what a phoenix is will get it instantly. "Firebird" is a cool-sounding team name, and the team name just makes it better. I picture this team's branding to focus on fire itself, not simply because of the team's name but also due to the city of Phoenix and its notorious heat in the year's warmer months (regularly at or above 110 degrees Fahrenheit, or 43 degrees Celsius for my friends who don't use freedom units). An alternate jersey design with cool, icy blue would serve as a wonderful complement to the team's main branding, making this a much better idea than the goddamn Coyotes. 

 

Tokyo Katanas: If you're a Sabres fan, this name may seem somewhat familiar. What makes it better here is that not only is the name a hockey reference, but it's a reference to an imaginary player, making it the perfect name for a sim league. The Katanas would also see the league breaking into the Asian market, bringing the league into a worldwide setting and exploring the non-traditional a little bit. And going off of that, I've thought of...

 

Seoul Soul: Why? Why not? It's pretty much the Asian version of the Nuuk Nukes, but I like it. The name also conjures up a picture of the stereotypically vaporwave-y streets of the city, as well as an association with the more spiritual beliefs of traditional Asian culture. You could also say something about the Kia Soul here, but that wasn't really what I was going for.

 

Reykjavik Lights: If you weren't able to deduce this from my love for the Nukes, I love me some far north. And if I can't have Greenland, why not go for the slightly more civilized Iceland instead? The name calls upon, you guessed it, the aurora borealis, or northern lights, one of nature's more mysterious (and, might I add, psychedelic) phenomena. The lights can be seen in Iceland, and with a population of over 100,000, the city is a conceivable home to a small-market hockey team, especially when no others are near it. The country is not as remote as it seems, though--Iceland serves as a nice bridge between North America and Europe, and would make sense geographically if it were to be chosen as an expansion location. This one could also be sort of vaporwave-y in branding, but the potential for jerseys and color schemes is unlimited.

 

Greenland Glaciers: OK, so I lied about not putting a team in Greenland. This is basically the Nukes, but a bit more marketable to an audience that doesn't love that sort of naming strategy. First of all, if we're talking about convenience, Greenland's got it--surprisingly, it's directly in the path of many flights from North American countries to destinations in Europe, as degrees of longitude are far more easily traversed up near the poles. A flight from New Orleans to London crosses the southern tip of the country, while just about any flight which stops in (ahem) Reykjavik on its way to Europe will end up flying right over Greenland. So, a team in Greenland isn't too far north. On the contrary, it is, like Reykjavik, in a great spot for teams traveling back and forth between the two continents. While one could put this team in Nuuk, home to an actual airport and a university, other options are available, like Sisimiut, North America's largest Arctic city, and Ittoqqortoormiit, a rare town in Eastern Greenland for fans of the super-remote. And now let me shut up about Greenland before I write a media spot all about this team.

 

Cancun Warriors: The VHLM already has a team in Mexico, so why not add another? The name "warriors" has real meaning here--I've chosen to name the team after Vicente Guerrero (guerrero is "warrior" in Spanish), a leading general in the Mexican War of Independence, and later briefly the President of Mexico, who was written out of many history books on account of his race. I've chosen Cancun here as (well, Mexico City is taken, but) it is a popular vacation destination for many, even during the winter, and a team there could end up thriving much like the NHL's Vegas Golden Knights in terms of attendance, branding, and revenue. Potential uniforms may be similar to the navy blue of the Mexican revolutionaries, or they may be built off of the red, white, and green of the modern Mexican flag.

 

Lagos Leopards: The league here breaks into the African market by establishing itself in Lagos, Nigeria's largest city at over 8 million people. Nigeria is a country on the rise--their fourth republic in under fifty years was established in 1999, but the country (7th-most populated in the world!) has become increasingly stable since, and the city of Lagos is no exception, with prisons being turned into concert venues and recent plans for development seeing the possibility of the rapidly-growing city becoming, more or less, Africa's New York. I decided to draw the team's name from wildlife native to the country--I decided against "Lions" because of a potential conflict of interest with Riga's branding, but "Hyenas" or "Vultures" are viable names for a Lagos-based team as well. 

 

Oklahoma Thicc Bois: No, I'm not actually serious about this one. I just kind of hit a wall here.

 

London Enforcers: I've heard talk about London having been a consideration for league expansion in the past, and here's that idea brought up once again. I could have called this team the "bulldogs," but "bulldogs," no matter the location or context, is just too generic for my liking. Instead, I've decided upon "enforcers," modeled after the Queen's Guard in both spirit and branding. Apart from the Wranglers, the league doesn't have a red team, and there's certainly room for another if the branding is different enough.

 

Zurich Vultures: The bearded vulture is a large bird of prey native to Switzerland (and many other different areas of Asia and Africa as well). This team would represent the VHL's second Swiss team, but I like the idea--another centrally-located team in Europe could give the European conference a bit of a better sense of identity, with lots of potential for a rivalry with Davos. Zurich, too, is a far more significant city than Davos--its population of over 400,000, and status as one of the world's leading financial cities, beats out Davos' population of under 11,000 and, well, lack of status as a globally recognized city of importance. Besides, HC Davos is already an actual hockey team, so if two Swiss teams aren't what the league wants, consider this a petition for relocation rather than expansion. 

 

Norilsk Miners: Here I go again, throwing out a team from the far, far north. Take every negative stereotype about Russia you have--incredibly cold, polluted, run-down, all that good stuff, and throw it all together into one place. Boom, you have Norilsk (interesting video here), the world's northernmost large city at around 177,000 people, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with no way to enter on land. Norilsk was built by prisoners on Siberia's permafrost in the 1930s to satisfy wartime demand for metal, and is notoriously practically run by Norilsk Nickel, the world's largest metallurgy complex. There's smoke in the air constantly, and a recent accident caused a river in the city to turn bright red. Nobody in their right mind would actually go and put a hockey team here, but it's interesting to think about. 

 

Sydney Sailors: I continue my journey into the unexplored (at least, as far as hockey is concerned) by proposing our first Australian team, to be placed in arguably the most well-known Australian city, Sydney. I find the logo potential here quite expansive--we could go anywhere from a person to a boat to even something more abstract, halfway between a group of sailboats and Sydney's well-known Opera House. I've named the team the Sailors due to Sydney's coastal placement and noteworthiness of its large harbor, and as our drafts this season were (hypothetically) held in Sydney, a team there could be quite fitting.

 

Jakarta Vipers: Indonesia? Sure, why not? Indonesia doesn't get enough credit. Jakarta, its capital, is home to over 9 million people, while Indonesia is actually the 4th-most populated country in the world. It's a perfect representation of both Southeast Asia and Oceania, and it's also home to several species of snakes, vipers among them, giving the team a perfect name. Jerseys can be bright green, teal-blue, or any other island-y color to your liking. 

 

Beijing Dragons: Originally I was going to call this team the Shanghai Dragons, but it turns out that's already the name of a well-known competitive Overwatch team. Anyone who knows anything about Chinese culture knows that the dragon is significant, and while @tfong could probably tell me a lot more about the dragon off the top of his head, a quik look at Wikipedia shows that the dragon, traditionally, was a symbol of power and was associated with the Chinese Emperor. As well, particularly good or noteworthy people were often compared to dragons. Both of these, combined, are great reasons to consider the dragon as a team symbol, and China as a potential location. 

 

Berlin Wildcats: Here was another moment where I decided to look up animals native to Germany, after thinking about everything I know about the history and culture of the region and getting nothing but angry old Christians and Nazis (I know there's a lot more, and a lot better, but I've forgotten all of it). Anyway, the European wildcat is native to Germany, and while I wanted to call this team the Foresters as a reference to the Black Forest, it turns out that Berlin is nowhere near the Black Forest, so Wildcats it is. But that leads us to...

 

Stuttgart Foresters: see above. 

 

Santiago Stonemasons: I was going to call this team the Emperors, but figured that might be a bit too close to our Mexico City Kings. Then, I was going to go with Empire, but figured that might be a bit too close to our Riga Reign. Anyway, if you can find a name of ours too close to "Stonemasons," let me know. I decided on this name because the Incas (that link shouldn't really be necessary, so for the sake of throwing in something interesting, let me introduce you to Frank Zappa's "Inca Roads," a personal favorite of mine), like many other ancient civilizations, were well-known for their stone architecture (as can be seen in Machu Picchu, where care was taken to make stones fit together exactly--check out this bad boy). Yeah, it's another inconvenient/unconventional location, but I find It interesting, and I had to put at least one team in South America anyway.

 

San Francisco Peacemakers: There's no NHL team in San Francisco, which I find surprising since they've got a team in each of the three other major sports leagues popular in the States. So, why not a VHL team? The name "Peacemakers" exudes a sense of formality and stern protection, while also alluding to the "make love, not war" spirit of the counterculture, which found a hub in the city in the late '60s and hasn't quite left to this day (fun fact: the Grateful Dead lived in the same house in San Francisco for three years). Potential uniforms may end up all dark and official-looking, but a flower-power alternate jersey wouldn't be out of the question. 

 

Montreal Cardinals: The Quebec City Meute decided to get right out of the province, but why not give it another shot? After all, we've tried Sweden at least three or four times now. I tried to find a Canadian city that hasn't been used yet, and I think Montreal hasn't, but it probably has at some point. Anyway, I gave the team the name of "Cardinals" because I don't know anything about Montreal other than that it is graced by the majestic presence of @Esso2264, so I went with the wildlife thing again. "Cardinals" is the closest this league will ever get to "drunk birds," anyway.

 

Edmonton Cougars: Here's the wildlife thing yet again, and here's another Canadian city I'm hoping hasn't been used yet. All I happen to know about Edmonton is that it has a bridge or two, and "Bridgebuilders" just didn't sound right. Oh well, "Cougars" is a nice-sounding team name, and one that isn't overused. I like it, and it's one of the more realistic on this list.

 

 

Word count: >2200, will claim for 4 weeks if I feel like it but I doubt that will ever happen.

Edited July 29, 2019 by GustavMattias

[Gustav 6,469]

Using my "happy birthday VHL" doubles week on this one.

[oilmandan 688]

2 minutes ago, GustavMattias said:

Edmonton Cougars: Here's the wildlife thing yet again, and here's another Canadian city I'm hoping hasn't been used yet. All I happen to know about Edmonton is that it has a bridge or two, and "Bridgebuilders" just didn't sound right. Oh well, "Cougars" is a nice-sounding team name, and one that isn't overused. I like it, and it's one of the more realistic on this list.

 

Great name, I've met a cougar or two in Edmonton. Not sure how you'd get a logo past the site snowflakes though

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

or 43 degrees Celsius for my friends who don't use freedom units)

so literally the rest of the world.

 

Oregon Trails @JeffD

[Motzaburger 1,590]

*cough* Hawaii *cough* Miami *cough* 

[Gustav 6,469]

3 minutes ago, Motzaburger said:

*cough* Hawaii *cough* Miami *cough* 

I figured you could talk about these on your own time lol

[Motzaburger 1,590]

5 minutes ago, GustavMattias said:

I figured you could talk about these on your own time lol

What about Munich Monsters. I made a dope concept. And here is the place to talk about

HAWAII VOLCANIC

MIAMI FLAMINGOS

MUNICH MONSTERS

whoops that was big

[Berocka 2,263]

7 hours ago, GustavMattias said:

Sydney Sailors: I continue my journey into the unexplored (at least, as far as hockey is concerned) by proposing our first Australian team, to be placed in arguably the most well-known Australian city, Sydney. I find the logo potential here quite expansive--we could go anywhere from a person to a boat to even something more abstract, halfway between a group of sailboats and Sydney's well-known Opera House. I've named the team the Sailors due to Sydney's coastal placement and noteworthiness of its large harbor, and as our drafts this season were (hypothetically) held in Sydney, a team there could be quite fitting.

 

I was going to be disappointed if there wasn't an Australian suggestion, even if it is only Sydney thanks Gustav.

[TheFlash 317]

12 hours ago, GustavMattias said:

 

 

Phoenix Firebirds

 

 

Zurich Vultures

Norilsk Miners

 

Jakarta Vipers

 

Beijing Dragons

 

Berlin Wildcats

 

 

Edmonton Cougars

 

 

Any of these, especially Zurich

[Enorama 2,039]

12 hours ago, GustavMattias said:

Phoenix Firebirds

This is the only firebird in my eyes: 

[diamond_ace 3,112]

Oodaaq-o Glaciers. Also, if you're going Seoul, the Seoul Connection would probably like a non compete clause @AndrewWarren13

[AW13 198]

On 7/29/2019 at 5:57 PM, diamond_ace said:

Oodaaq-o Glaciers. Also, if you're going Seoul, the Seoul Connection would probably like a non compete clause @AndrewWarren13

There is only one real sim hockey team in Seoul!