Seth

Fucking traitor. 

#SethKnew

@Seth for BOG

Thank you guys.
 
Quick question. I just did a graphic for a point task(don't go look, it's ugly). Is that worth 6 points when I add it to my player?

We all know this trade was made by Helsinki in preparation of drafting me. 

Welcome to the club!

2nd doubles from 20$ Purchase

I was expecting to be named the new owner of the franchise, shucks. 

I was not quite sure about who to sign with, but Jardy welcomed me very early and I like the lynx logo. I hope the other managers wont be angry but I probably wont be very good anyway so you maybe dodged a bullet. Thanks for offering everybody.
 
 
I accept @JardyB10

Damn, someone isn't too fond of our lord and savior. ):

I'm going to accept this offer, Seth and Jardy were really helpful while I was learning the site yesterday. They also offered me the most money and a spot on the top pairing.

We’re not quite sure how this has occurred, as scientists, doctors, religious figures, and hockey fans across the world remain in awe of the news regarding Harambe’s resurrection. For those who have been living under a rock and are unaware, Harambe, an innocent gorilla who was sent down by God to redeem mankind, was shot and killed by the Cincinnati Zoo on May 28, 2016. Millions of individuals across the world have been mourning the chosen one’s death since, as the world seemed significantly bleaker since this tragic loss. However, the unexpected and miraculous resurrection of Harambe has brought hope to the aforementioned millions, but the future for this amazing creature is quite odd.
 
According to multiple reports, Harambe’s resurrection has granted the gorilla some newfound abilities. These include but are not limited to: the ability to successfully communication in the English language, possessing human-like capabilities within his hands, and express his emotions like any other typical human-being. Moreover, given these additional new skills and traits Harambe has acquired in his second life, he has decided to pursue a secret dream of his during both his initial, and now second life; this of course is the pursuit of a professional hockey career. Consequently, Harambe has filed for entry into the Victory Hockey League (VHL), which is widely recognized as the single best hockey league in the entire world. We have received word that Harambe’s application to be admitted into the Victor Hockey League has been approved, and that he has signed a one-million dollar contract with the Ottawa Lynx of the VHLM (the minor league system of the VHL).
 
One can argue that Harambe’s admittance into the VHL is a huge boon for both the league and mankind as a whole, as it offers the VHL a figure and name that everyone around the world recognizes, and the millions of individuals who mourned Harambe’s execution, now get to see their lord and savior potentially succeed on the ice.
 
When we tried to reach out to Ottawa Lynx General Manager, Jardy Bunclewirth regarding his latest and most notorious signing yet, we received the following comments, “I’m too drunk to eat this chicken.” Those are some interesting words indeed for the Lynx’s general manager, and it once again proves how invaluable an asset Harambe will be for both his new team and the VHL as a whole.
 
Harambe is expected to be introduced next week at a press conference in Ottawa, where he will be formally introduces to both the Lynx and VHL press, as well as meeting his future teammates for the very first time. It remains to be seen how meaningful an impact Harambe will bring on the ice and in terms of victories for his new team, but what cannot be doubted is that the hero that our planet deserves has returned, and has offered us a second opportunity to earn our redemption; let’s hope as a society we don’t blow this chance again!
 

"Harambe did nothing wrong"
 

S53 Ottawa Lynx
Roster
 
Forwards
C - Fook Yu, TPE: 178
C - Johan Soderburg, TPE: 30
C - Pablo, TPE: 70
LW - John Locke, TPE: 228
LW - Luigi de Rossi, TPE: 79
RW - Harambe, TPE: 53
RW - Kevin Jalopski, TPE: 111
RW - Motherfucker Sharpe, TPE: 210
RW - Takashi Fujimoto, TPE: 82

Defence
D - Hudson Abbott, TPE: 122
D - Joshua Delisle, TPE: 30
D - JourneyMan, TPE: 30
D - Legubrious Tucker, TPE: 30
D - Tomas Syndergaard, TPE: 79
D - Jon Snow, TPE: 30
 
Goalies
G - Alexander Wolf, TPE: 30
G - Arthan Lawrence, TPE: 30
G - Jacob, TPE: 158
 
*Italics denote inactive
 
Lines
 
5v5
Locke - Yu - Harambe
de Rossi - Pablo - Sharpe
Locke - Soderburg - Fujimoto
  de Rossi - Yu - Sharpe
 
Abbott - Snow
Syndergaard - Journeyman
Jalopski - Tucker
Abbott - Snow
 
PP
Locke - Yu - Sharpe
Syndergaard - Abbott

  de Rossi - Pablo - Harambe
JourneyMan - Snow
 
4v4
Yu - Locke
Abbott - Journeyman

Soderburg - Sharpe
Snow - Jalopski
 
PK4
Yu - Sharpe
Syndergaard - Abbott

Pablo - Locke
Snow - Journeyman
 
PK3
Locke
Syndergaard - Abbott

Yu
Snow - Journeyman
 
Goalies
1st: Jacob
2nd: Wolf
 
Shootout
Sharpe
Yu
Locke
Harambe
de Rossi
 
Edits as of February 22!
 
Should work out that everyone gets pretty good ice time, but I'll make adjustments as needed. Let me know if you guys have any concerns or suggestions! Or if I maybe forgot someone entirely.

That's why I compiled all the admins, so we can do what we want.
 
And yes, Phil is a very super guy. That's why he wins Top Leader every year.

Happy to be here, let's win us a trophy and some hookers for @JardyB10!

Welcome @Seth, great to have you aboard!

Wow, so much love for a dead fucking player; I feel honored!
 
On a more serious note, I thank everyone for their offers and pitches. I would gladly play for any team, and this was a very tough call on my end. After giving it some thought however, I have decided I am going to sign with the Ottawa Lynx and get drunk every night with the fat bastard known as @JardyB10
 
Harambe out!
 

Thank you, @Seth, for not signing with any of these scrub teams while I was away binge drinking.
 
I would like to offer our favourite ape friend $1,000,000 to come play for the Ottawa Lynx. We've been a very diverse team lately, having a Frenchman last season and a Chinese man this season, as well as all your favourite characters from the TV series "Lost." We're shy of just one Jewish gorilla to truly unite the world.
 
On a more serious note, we have a great full team this season and we'll be Top 3 in the league for sure. Scoring depth is important, and we need someone like yourself to grow along with our new member. Also you can have my GM job at the end of the season if you later decide that's what you want to do.
 
Come come!

Dicks out for Seth 

Welcome back my Jewish friend
 
Make your comeback as smooth as possible by joining what will likely be one of the most active lr in the vhlm and come win with us to boot.
 
Brampton offers you a 1 year contract for 500k. I know less than Bratislava, but I hope to sign as many active guys as I can, so with the cap of 5 million that's why. 
 
 
Welcome back no matter where you end up!!

Saskatoon must offer 2 million to the greatest hero our nation has ever seen. May he singlehandedly lead us to victory.
 
@Seth

Welcome back @Seth and we hope you'll stay here for a long time! 
 
Right now you will get an offers from VHLM GM's and you will have to wait 12h from player creation to make a decision. (11,5h for you now). The contract price is from 500k to 2M. 
 
With that being said, Bratislava Watchmen offers 1M for one season. We just became the VHLM champs, and while we're not going to compete in this season, you can get much minutes of play here.  Also, we have a >100 TPE goalie and @frescoelmo in our LR (although he doesn't even plays in our team). 
 
Good luck with your player and good luck whenever you will end up! 
 
@Smarch @The Bread Man @TheLastOlympian07 @BobertZ @Streetlite @JardyB10

#REKT

We have had many conversations before and I consider you a pretty good friend when I have been active, but you are acting very unprofessional right now. A VHL GM should be held to a higher standard and I believe this outcry is way beneath you my friend. Just forget it and focus on building a championship worthy team.