Josh

NO APRIL FOOLS JOKE HERE FOLKS

NO APRIL FOOLS JOKE HERE EITHER FOLKS

Bek is out here making April Fools jokes because “obviously we would never actually do this” and stuff. 
 
Convenient that this comes out after the domain “expires” and we make “jokes” about his opium addiction. 

didnt this guy scam like @Enorama out of a graphics card a few years ago or something... no idea how he even became a blue in the first place. absolute incompetence by Badketov to hire this fraud. Gorlab would've never let this happen.....

Nah I'm good. 

Which Jets games did you wager the money on? 

sheeeeeiiiiiit......

INDEX
 
@VHL GM It's that time again! Please review your rosters to make sure they look good. Sims start on Wednesday, so ensure you have your lines in well before that.
 
<Copypasta on how to do lines>
To send in your lines please use the Team Management section of the portal. The process for downloading the client file and using STHS to make your lines is still the same, and if you have manual requests due to waiver pick-ups or other roster changes please DM me your notes through Discord. Ensure you are using the Copy Roster and Copy Lines to reduce the chances of your lines being auto-filled due to roster changes. If a player is traded, replace them with a bot or fear STHS's autofill wrath.
<End>
 
STHS Client 3.4.1 is the most up-to-date version, please check and update your client if required.
 
I think that covers it, best of luck everyone. I'll be pinging the VHL Sim Alert role on Discord before each sim so make sure you're signed up for that.

I have the graphic, I'll forward it to @Will

https://vhlportal.com/vhl/WC/92/ProTeam.php?Team=8

I literally rewrote it last week lol. It says Nordic.

I'll just change it in the index. Shouldn't be a problem.

Nah, the script says Nordic.. the commissioners changed it. 

Summary: Daryl Dixon, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: David Jokinen, Stat: PC, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Fuukka Rask, Stat: RT, Reset from: 93 to 97, TPA diff: 36
Summary: Henry Eagles, Stat: PC, Reset from: 82 to 93, TPA diff: 64
Summary: Henry Tucker Jr, Stat: RB, Reset from: 92 to 97, TPA diff: 44
Summary: Isamu Knievel, Stat: DC, Reset from: 66 to 75, TPA diff: 14
Summary: Jesse Teno, Stat: RT, Reset from: 94 to 99, TPA diff: 48
Summary: Jimi Jaks, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Joel Castle, Stat: RT, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lachlan Summers, Stat: HS, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lucas Grey, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Mac Atlas, Stat: OV, Reset from: 89 to 94, TPA diff: 37
Summary: Matt Murdock, Stat: RB, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Nikolas Kauppi, Stat: OV, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Phil Strasmore, Stat: PC, Reset from: 75 to 85, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Skor McFleury, Stat: OV, Reset from: 88 to 93, TPA diff: 34
Summary: Snubbed Analfist, Stat: DC, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: The Frenchman, Stat: DC, Reset from: 83 to 90, TPA diff: 35

Summary: Daryl Dixon, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: David Jokinen, Stat: PC, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Fuukka Rask, Stat: RT, Reset from: 93 to 97, TPA diff: 36
Summary: Henry Eagles, Stat: PC, Reset from: 82 to 93, TPA diff: 64
Summary: Henry Tucker Jr, Stat: RB, Reset from: 92 to 97, TPA diff: 44
Summary: Isamu Knievel, Stat: DC, Reset from: 66 to 75, TPA diff: 14
Summary: Jesse Teno, Stat: RT, Reset from: 94 to 99, TPA diff: 48
Summary: Jimi Jaks, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Joel Castle, Stat: RT, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lachlan Summers, Stat: HS, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lucas Grey, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Mac Atlas, Stat: OV, Reset from: 89 to 94, TPA diff: 37
Summary: Matt Murdock, Stat: RB, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Nikolas Kauppi, Stat: OV, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Phil Strasmore, Stat: PC, Reset from: 75 to 85, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Skor McFleury, Stat: OV, Reset from: 88 to 93, TPA diff: 34
Summary: Snubbed Analfist, Stat: DC, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: The Frenchman, Stat: DC, Reset from: 83 to 90, TPA diff: 35

Summary: Daryl Dixon, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: David Jokinen, Stat: PC, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Fuukka Rask, Stat: RT, Reset from: 93 to 97, TPA diff: 36
Summary: Henry Eagles, Stat: PC, Reset from: 82 to 93, TPA diff: 64
Summary: Henry Tucker Jr, Stat: RB, Reset from: 92 to 97, TPA diff: 44
Summary: Isamu Knievel, Stat: DC, Reset from: 66 to 75, TPA diff: 14
Summary: Jesse Teno, Stat: RT, Reset from: 94 to 99, TPA diff: 48
Summary: Jimi Jaks, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Joel Castle, Stat: RT, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lachlan Summers, Stat: HS, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lucas Grey, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Mac Atlas, Stat: OV, Reset from: 89 to 94, TPA diff: 37
Summary: Matt Murdock, Stat: RB, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Nikolas Kauppi, Stat: OV, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Phil Strasmore, Stat: PC, Reset from: 75 to 85, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Skor McFleury, Stat: OV, Reset from: 88 to 93, TPA diff: 34
Summary: Snubbed Analfist, Stat: DC, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: The Frenchman, Stat: DC, Reset from: 83 to 90, TPA diff: 35

Summary: Daryl Dixon, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: David Jokinen, Stat: PC, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Fuukka Rask, Stat: RT, Reset from: 93 to 97, TPA diff: 36
Summary: Henry Eagles, Stat: PC, Reset from: 82 to 93, TPA diff: 64
Summary: Henry Tucker Jr, Stat: RB, Reset from: 92 to 97, TPA diff: 44
Summary: Isamu Knievel, Stat: DC, Reset from: 66 to 75, TPA diff: 14
Summary: Jesse Teno, Stat: RT, Reset from: 94 to 99, TPA diff: 48
Summary: Jimi Jaks, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Joel Castle, Stat: RT, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lachlan Summers, Stat: HS, Reset from: 95 to 99, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Lucas Grey, Stat: OV, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Mac Atlas, Stat: OV, Reset from: 89 to 94, TPA diff: 37
Summary: Matt Murdock, Stat: RB, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Nikolas Kauppi, Stat: OV, Reset from: 86 to 90, TPA diff: 20
Summary: Phil Strasmore, Stat: PC, Reset from: 75 to 85, TPA diff: 40
Summary: Skor McFleury, Stat: OV, Reset from: 88 to 93, TPA diff: 34
Summary: Snubbed Analfist, Stat: DC, Reset from: 90 to 95, TPA diff: 40
Summary: The Frenchman, Stat: DC, Reset from: 83 to 90, TPA diff: 35

Hello and welcome to one of my most unhinged projects yet. I have scoured through the VHL archives to identify every single instance of a repeated last name in history, the sole criterion being that the players made it to the VHL (i.e. VHLM and/or VHLE lifers are excluded). This also means that whilst the list includes all active VHL players as of S92, it doesn't include anyone who is about to come up to the big leagues or has announced their draft eligibility.
 
268 repeat last names were identified throughout VHL history and then sorted to identify the most common last name in the VHL's storied past. But since the work was done to identify each name, I will make it a countdown from names used twice all the way to the all-time leader at 12. Behold.
 
 
Names used 2x in VHL history
188 names have appeared twice in the past and whilst the list is copied in below, I won't dwell on it for too long. This section contains Hall of Famers and completely forgotten journeymen, it has brothers, fathers and sons, and even families separated by multiple generations. Most frequently, it contains completely random and coincidental repeats, separated by as many as 90 seasons. There are two facts of most interest in this category:
 
Two names have a 100% Hall of Fame success rate – Sterling (father) and Alexander (son) Labatte, as well as the Clegane brothers
There has twice been a pair of Mario and Luigi in the VHL – the Linguinis and the De Rossis
 

 
Names used 3x in VHL history
55 more names added to the list in this category which doesn't really have any fun tidbits to pull out – seems to be a higher proportion of recognisable names than in the first section. What this exercise has been actually helpful in is identifying some duplicates I had in the all-time stats spreadsheet from the 60s. Not sure how those happened but they're gone now.
 
Perhaps one other thing worth mentioning is that in addition to the two Ryans in the above 2x list, there was also a man simply named Ryan in the VHL at one point. Unfortunately that Ryan counts as someone with a last name so the Ryans do not manage to make the cut for the 3x list.
 

 
The Top 24
 
We are now in the top end of the ranking, as at 4 appearances each, the pool dwindles considerably. There are 13 names which show up exactly 4 times:
The Bakers (Abel, Joseph, Patrick, and Shane)
The Carters (Alex, Donny, Jared and Jared the 2st (sic))
The Clarkes (Daniel, Dean, Jon, and Will) – two of whom, Dean and Will, are unrelated but were both of the cup-winning S70 Moscow squad
The Downeys (Bahr, Jeff (both the S1 and much more successful S68 incarnation) and the original Jeff's brother Ryan)
The Eagles (two Gregs, Henry, and Tom) – brought to us exclusively by @Greg_Di. Greg Eagleowski sadly doesn't make the cut.
The Funks (brothers and Builders Dust'n and Raymond and decades later playoff hero Rayz and the less notable Frank Jr)
The Kings (Kevin, Markus, Roctrion, and Thomas)
The Komarovs (Evgeni, Pavel, Sergei, and Vladamir) – also the sole work of one man, @Gooningitup
The Matthews (Anthony, Luke, Mitchell, and Wesley)
The Millers (Alec, Jackson, MF Percy, and Nicholas)
The Syndergaards (two Aksels, Thomas, and Tomas)
The Williams (AJ, Justin, Robinson, and Tyrone)
and the Youngs (Alex, Christopher, Naomi, and Zachary)
 
5 names then, fittingly, show up 5 times over the years:
Davis (David, Finn, Jake, Jasper, and Roque) – almost entirely hauled up the list by @Josh's obsession with the name
Hamilton (brothers Phil, Jeff, and David (Phil and Jeff making the Hall) and also the lesser-known Drew and Josh)
Knight (Blake, David, Jordan, Ricky, Steven) – remarkably only once used by either @Phil or David @Knight – the actual Knight brothers choosing to be Hamilton brothers in the VHL instead
Reinhart (Asher, Jerome, Reylynn, Tobias, and Tyler all being prominent in the 80s)
Tremblay (Dan, Danny, Pierre-Marc, Steve and the man himself (not really), Simon Tremblay)

 
Then in joint fifth place...
6 Hunters (Alyksander, Blade, Braxton, JaKobe, Jeff, and Kurtis)
6 Jokinens (Alvaro, David, Diego, Erlantz, Fabio, and Fernando) – courtesy of the Finnish fiends @Ahma and @jRuutu
6 Smiths (Cody, Jacob, Josh, Lucas, Steve, and Trevor) – all extremely forgettable just like the name

 
In joint third place we have the Wilsons (Aaron, Al, Connor, Dusty, Jesse, Josh, and Wade), 7 completely unrelated and largely irrelevant players, and the Gow brothers (@Fire Tortorella and @eaglesfan036) who have brought 7 Gows (Austin, Bernie, Jeff, Jim, Robert III, Robin, and Shayne) to the VHL before branching off into more creative names.

 
Jones is the second most popular last name in VHL history with 9 players (Bob, Casey, Dallas, Dan, Davey, Jay, Kered, Mason, and Ty) over the years. Davey Jones as part of the 30s Dynamo and Casey Jones who had a Labatte-winning rookie season in S57 and then was part of the USA's most prolific World Cup years are easily the most successful of the Joneses.

 
Clear at the top it's the Johnsons though – 12 of them specifically. We've had Bossman, Brent, Gabrial, Gabriel, Kobe, Leroy, Michael, Miles, Phil “The Rock”, Regie, Reid, and Ricky. Yes I was also hoping for a more impressive list but Michael and Phil have definitely elevated the Johnsons' profile in more recent season and Kobe is active in the VHL as we speak. Will anyone catch them? Only time will tell.

Reserved for the losers 

Whoops, forgot to update this.
 
@UnknownMinion has been hired

Whoops, forgot to update this.
 
@UnknownMinion has been hired

I'm here only to bash gus cause u said I could.
 
@Gustav you're smelly

K well I automated the experience purchases so I don't have to sit through this thread ever again.

Hello all,
 
I'm looking for someone to fill @Brandon's shoes a player store updater. 
 
Requirements:
Approving store purchases
Approving finance claims for donations
Executing TPA rerolls
 
Pay is the standard 2 capped / week.
 
Apply below, preference will be given to those who don't hold other jobs within the league.