Grape

The Big Dave
    It was the first season of the VHL, and many teams were eager to etch their name in history right off the bat, to become the first champion of the league, and perhaps even the first dynasty; however, everyone was unaware of an undisturbed god about to make its power known to all. From the shadows, it emerged and took the league by storm. It became the champions of the first season, then the second, then the third, and continued unquestioned until the 10th championship. Maybe the GM was just really good. Maybe they’re just getting lucky in the sim. No. HC Davos was being led by The Big Dave, an invincible hockey god that was hellbent on leading Davos to victory at all costs. It would cause Davos to have a mediocre regular season, as to not raise suspicion, then have them win every series in either game 6 or 7, to add the illusion that it was a close match-up. The Big Dave led Davos to 20 consecutive championships until the other teams in the league attempted to defeat this god.
 
The Coalition
    Season 21 started out vastly different from the 20 seasons before it. There were only two teams left in the league: HC Davos Dynamo and the Collective Hockey Club. The Collective was a combination of all the other teams in the league and their top talent and was created in hopes of matching up with The Big Dave. So much talent squeezed onto a single team, it generated a new god: The God of Maxed Leadership. This god boosted all its players, giving them 99 Leadership, making them almost gods themselves. Leadership was an unknown stat that made each player incredibly clutch in games, may it be an amazing defensive play to prevent a goal, or an incredible snipe with a second left to tie the game. The regular season played on, and it appeared that The Big Dave was overwhelmed, as HC Davos was swept in the regular season. The Big Dave could not allow its team to be slain this early into the dynasty and sent out shadow Daves to infiltrate the sim and destroy the Collective’s buffs and their god. The Daves were able to break into the sim engines code and nerf Leadership into the ground, rendering it a useless stat. When playoffs came, the change was immediate. Davos decimated the Collective in a 4 game sweep and crushed their puny god, letting The Big Dave reign supreme and unchallenged for the rest of his existence.
 
The Present
    HC Davos Dynamo has now won 76 consecutive championships and is on route to win its 77th. The Big Dave is as powerful as ever and continues to bolster Davos with excellent draft picks and luck. All other teams cower under Davos, and the League even has dubbed a runner-up trophy as the unofficial championship trophy, as it is impossible to surpass Davos. Players brought into Davos are offered great prosperity and health, and go on to play lengthy, award-filled careers, whereas every other team and its players are delegated to, at best, second place. There have been whispers of another coalition against The Big Dave, with the league being filled with more talent than ever before, although few believe it would ever be successful.

The Big Dave
    It was the first season of the VHL, and many teams were eager to etch their name in history right off the bat, to become the first champion of the league, and perhaps even the first dynasty; however, everyone was unaware of an undisturbed god about to make its power known to all. From the shadows, it emerged and took the league by storm. It became the champions of the first season, then the second, then the third, and continued unquestioned until the 10th championship. Maybe the GM was just really good. Maybe they’re just getting lucky in the sim. No. HC Davos was being led by The Big Dave, an invincible hockey god that was hellbent on leading Davos to victory at all costs. It would cause Davos to have a mediocre regular season, as to not raise suspicion, then have them win every series in either game 6 or 7, to add the illusion that it was a close match-up. The Big Dave led Davos to 20 consecutive championships until the other teams in the league attempted to defeat this god.
 
The Coalition
    Season 21 started out vastly different from the 20 seasons before it. There were only two teams left in the league: HC Davos Dynamo and the Collective Hockey Club. The Collective was a combination of all the other teams in the league and their top talent and was created in hopes of matching up with The Big Dave. So much talent squeezed onto a single team, it generated a new god: The God of Maxed Leadership. This god boosted all its players, giving them 99 Leadership, making them almost gods themselves. Leadership was an unknown stat that made each player incredibly clutch in games, may it be an amazing defensive play to prevent a goal, or an incredible snipe with a second left to tie the game. The regular season played on, and it appeared that The Big Dave was overwhelmed, as HC Davos was swept in the regular season. The Big Dave could not allow its team to be slain this early into the dynasty and sent out shadow Daves to infiltrate the sim and destroy the Collective’s buffs and their god. The Daves were able to break into the sim engines code and nerf Leadership into the ground, rendering it a useless stat. When playoffs came, the change was immediate. Davos decimated the Collective in a 4 game sweep and crushed their puny god, letting The Big Dave reign supreme and unchallenged for the rest of his existence.
 
The Present
    HC Davos Dynamo has now won 76 consecutive championships and is on route to win its 77th. The Big Dave is as powerful as ever and continues to bolster Davos with excellent draft picks and luck. All other teams cower under Davos, and the League even has dubbed a runner-up trophy as the unofficial championship trophy, as it is impossible to surpass Davos. Players brought into Davos are offered great prosperity and health, and go on to play lengthy, award-filled careers, whereas every other team and its players are delegated to, at best, second place. There have been whispers of another coalition against The Big Dave, with the league being filled with more talent than ever before, although few believe it would ever be successful.

David 76 cup streak

hell yea

hell yea

Most players in this league follow the same build, and there's nothing wrong with that. The meta build produces consistent producers and is proven to be successful. The issue, however, is the entertainment value of this. Your first player, sure it's fun. It's always to be introduced to success and provides a good initial experience, seeing your player dominate at least the VHLM. Second player, the fun starts to dissipate. It's just a rinse and repeat sort of deal. You get a little better because you understand the system better, but that's about it. The fun of following the same thing over and over, especially since a career takes like a year and a half, becomes boring. Now you look to meme builds. Definitely more fun to take a player and just say, Screw scoring goals, I wanna only get assists or I only want to be an enforcer. Changing your build to just stack up a specific stat is entertaining to watch, as your player can end a season with like 2 goals, 7 assists, and a metric ton of hits. Obviously it doesn't necessarily help your team as much. You're not providing any support via points, but you're having fun, and that should be the main goal of the league. Now, it's probably safe to assume that pretty much every meme build has been done by now, but it's still fun when it's you doing it. Now, I don't think many people will get that pissy at you for trying to have fun, but there's definitely going to be a few people with a stick in their posterior. At the end of the day, however, this is about having fun, nothing more. So do what you want to do, not what everyone else does. Yes, meta builds produce good players, but meme builds produce fun players.

Most players in this league follow the same build, and there's nothing wrong with that. The meta build produces consistent producers and is proven to be successful. The issue, however, is the entertainment value of this. Your first player, sure it's fun. It's always to be introduced to success and provides a good initial experience, seeing your player dominate at least the VHLM. Second player, the fun starts to dissipate. It's just a rinse and repeat sort of deal. You get a little better because you understand the system better, but that's about it. The fun of following the same thing over and over, especially since a career takes like a year and a half, becomes boring. Now you look to meme builds. Definitely more fun to take a player and just say, Screw scoring goals, I wanna only get assists or I only want to be an enforcer. Changing your build to just stack up a specific stat is entertaining to watch, as your player can end a season with like 2 goals, 7 assists, and a metric ton of hits. Obviously it doesn't necessarily help your team as much. You're not providing any support via points, but you're having fun, and that should be the main goal of the league. Now, it's probably safe to assume that pretty much every meme build has been done by now, but it's still fun when it's you doing it. Now, I don't think many people will get that pissy at you for trying to have fun, but there's definitely going to be a few people with a stick in their posterior. At the end of the day, however, this is about having fun, nothing more. So do what you want to do, not what everyone else does. Yes, meta builds produce good players, but meme builds produce fun players.

This is a certified hood classic

may as well just hire me right now
 

I mean if you're looking for a guy with no experience and a dogshit sleeping schedule then hell I'm a perfect match

may as well just hire me right now
 

I mean if you're looking for a guy with no experience and a dogshit sleeping schedule then hell I'm a perfect match

best qualifications I've seen yet

I mean if you're looking for a guy with no experience and a dogshit sleeping schedule then hell I'm a perfect match

Shawty has had a tough time getting in some much needed rest and relaxation. Although there always seems to be a good amount of time between each season, something always ends up going wrong. Everything is planned out and they’re ready to go then BOOM, it falls through.
 
Season 72 Offseason
 
After coming over from Norway to play a handful of games with the Houston Bulls, Shawty looked to go back to their home country before the draft and spend time with their family at their summer home. Houston is way too hot in the summer anyway, especially by Scandinavian standards. With a week before the flight back home, Shawty goes and double checks everything to make sure they aren’t leaving anything behind anything. During the search, they notice that their passport is missing. Nananana spent the whole week prior turning the apartment they were living in upside down trying to track down their passport with no avail. The deadline passes, and they’re stuck in Houston. Unpacking their bags, they find the passport in their carry-on bag.
 
Season 73 Offseason
 
Shawty wasn’t going to take any chances this time. They make a habit of carrying their passport everywhere they go, always in their front right pocket. Plans are made, and Shawty is heading back home with 2 weeks before the next season starts. Nothing was going to ruin this vacation. The day comes, Shawty grabs their bags, gets in a taxi, and arrives at the airport. The moment they get past the airport security and are heading towards the terminal, they get a phone call informing them that they’ve been traded to the Halifax 21st. There wasn’t much time left to vacation now that they have to move all their belongings from one country to another, so Shawty had to cancel their flight to Norway and book another one to Canada.
 
Season 74 Offseason
 
No more vacations planned that close to a season beginning, passport still practically stapled to that front right pocket. This is going to be the year Shawty gets a vacation. Shawty decides that they’ll stay in Canada for this vacation, since it’s close enough to Norwegian temperature. Shawty decides to look for something more local, no need for a passport. They find a ski resort nearby Halifax called Martock, located in Windsor, about an hour drive away. The plans are made, a car is rented, and Shawty makes their way to the resort. Everything seems like it’s going to plan perfectly. They check into their resort, get into their room, unpack a bit, relax for the first time in a while. The next day comes, and all the slopes are closed. A massive heat wave has hit Nova Scotia, well, massive for Canadian terms. The risen temperatures has made the slopes spotty in some areas and too dangerous for even experienced skiers to brave. With no actual activities to do, Shawty checks out early and heads back to their Halifax apartment.
 
Season 75 Offseason
 
With the move to Davos in the VHL, Shawty is much closer to home. Because of this, after being drafted, they took a flight to Bergen, their hometown in Norway, instead of Davos. Shawty spent a handful of days with their family and then took their car on the long ride to their new team’s city. With their vehicle, there were plans this offseason to tour around Europe, nothing concrete really, just sort of a “go with the flow” type of vacation. The season ends, and they’re ready to go. Unfortunately, things just can’t go right for Shawty. They don’t even make it out of Davos before their car breaks down. Transmission is dead, engine is dead, battery is dead, oil levels incredibly low, hell even the wiper fluid was running low. Shawty had a decent chunk of change set aside for this tour around Europe, and now all that money has to go towards a new car. Shawty thought that maybe they could squeak in a smaller trip, maybe just hitting a few countries; however, the sleezbag that sold Shawty the car didn’t renew the registration, so they had to undergo that whole process as well, eating up too much time, energy, and funds to make any real vacation worth it.
 
Maybe this will be the offseason Shawty can finally get a vacation. One can only be so unlucky for so long, or perhaps the universe will decide to screw them over again. The latter is probably more likely. Maybe all this is because they pissed off a “witch” before they came over to play in the VHLM and now they’re cursed for eternity or however long a curse is supposed to last. At this point, only time will tell.
---
789 words, written during my morning class 😎

Shortly after signing a four season deal with HC Davos, Shawty Nananana finds himself on a team heading towards a rebuild after a poor record early in the season. Shawty released a statement to the media

"Obviously it is unfortunate that we won't be competing this year, but I asked to be signed to that contract knowing that there were going to be good and bad seasons within its duration. I don't care if this team is at the top of the league or a bottom feeder. I have faith in my GM and believe that they will make the right decisions regarding the team in the end and I cannot wait to be a part of what they build."
 
Davos is currently sitting at 6th in the European Conference, 3rd worst in the conference and the league, and is expected to sell off some assets for future picks and prospects. The timeline for the rebuild is unknown but it is expected that the team will struggle for a handful of seasons, but will give time for prospects, as well as younger players like Shawty to develop and be contributing factors in Davos' future success.
 

Shortly after signing a four season deal with HC Davos, Shawty Nananana finds himself on a team heading towards a rebuild after a poor record early in the season. Shawty released a statement to the media

"Obviously it is unfortunate that we won't be competing this year, but I asked to be signed to that contract knowing that there were going to be good and bad seasons within its duration. I don't care if this team is at the top of the league or a bottom feeder. I have faith in my GM and believe that they will make the right decisions regarding the team in the end and I cannot wait to be a part of what they build."
 
Davos is currently sitting at 6th in the European Conference, 3rd worst in the conference and the league, and is expected to sell off some assets for future picks and prospects. The timeline for the rebuild is unknown but it is expected that the team will struggle for a handful of seasons, but will give time for prospects, as well as younger players like Shawty to develop and be contributing factors in Davos' future success.
 

GM/AGM Appreciation Week. We spend a lot time writing and creating graphics about the players but management rarely gets much love. 

The lack of parity in the VHLM is something that really gets on my nerves. It's tough, but possible for teams to remain competitive for multiple seasons, but a lot of teams just decide to go boom or bust, rebuild, repeat. It's not fun to watch, and to be honest, for me at least, it wasn't much fun to be a part of. When my player was in the M, I was on a pretty stacked Houston team. We ended up getting bounced, and the team proceeded to go into the basement. I wanted to stay with the team, even if they weren't going to be that good, because I knew my player was going to get a lot more minutes, and in my opinion, playing time > Winning. With how the M goes, however, I was traded to another stacked team in Halifax. Guess what happened to Halifax after that season. Now Houston is looking amazing again while Halifax is sitting close to the bottom of the standings. It's just not entertaining to see 1-3 super teams, 1-3 completely tanking teams, and then a bunch of "eh" teams in the middle. There's always going to be a really good team, and there's always going to be a really bad team, but it shouldn't be a nearly unbeatable team and a team that couldn't win a game even if the other team had a soccer goal. Parity needs to be promoted, supported, and eventually become the norm. We can't have just one season every ten where the league actually looks balanced.

Not in mood for 2000 word articles so let's just talk about perhaps the most underwhelming team so far. HC Davos Dynamo.
 
Since Tyler stepped down this team was constantly under pressure by the rest of the league. They were meme'd hard and their GM by that time, Shawn Glade was under the fire for most of the time. Rightfully or not, that's for others to judge. Anyways, he stepped down from this job, but left lots of S72 picks for the next chief in charge, @GustavMattias. Things were going great. First two picks in S72 and a good draft overall made people think that Davos is about to return to it's glory. Except it didn't happen. Gus was making so many trades for being a legit contender, but Simon was just disliking their forward lineup. Getting swept by a perennial playoff clients in Riga, then being upset by an upcoming Malmo team in the wild card a season later. And how about the missing the playoffs altogether last season. I mean...oof. Fast forward to last offseason. Before making any moves I was reaching up to couple of GM's to know their plans. Gustav told me he is set to contend again. It made the sense; despite not making the playoffs last season their roster was still looking decent, even without Roque Davis. Fast forward once again, let's look what's happening in the EU conference after 1/3 of the season is gone:
 

 
I mean, a whopping 47 games left and they're only 6 points behind the 5th place Moscow. But something tells me it may not change at all and Davos is on the danger on missing the post season once again. Just look at these stats. Least regulation wins from all Europeans teams. Worst offense in this league. Third worst shots for (only ahead of Riga and LA). Worst goal differental in the league. And that's with four 700+ TPE forwards. THEY ARE EVEN WORSE OFFENSIVELY THAN RIGA!!! At least they beat us twice, I guess that's good. It still wasn't enough to life them from the last spot though. Let's see what the fuck is wrong with this team.
 
First off, forwards. Despite having a bunch of TPE applied, neither Hornet or Winter could find any chemistry between each other. Then we have Jensen who was traded from New York before S73. The player who is constantly underachieving despite being another big TPE guy. It never changed in Davos. Owen Nolan who was traded...khe khem...from New York. A decent player, but never managed to reach the stardom and never elevated this team's offense to even a decent level this season. Also, three more depth level guys, only one of them is showing a promise.
Defense. Oh well. The best of them is the guy who is trying oh so hard being a Condor to Davos, but he is still too young for that. Always loyal Ahma is there as well, I guess there is nothing much more to ask from him given his current build. And also two 300 TPE defs. Seems kinda meh to me.
Goaltending? Bruden is like McPine for Prague, decent at earning TPE, but never being a true saviour to Davos. Plus a backup from Berocka.
 
In conclusion, it doesn't look very good so far for this team. The main offensive weapons are doing very little, the defense is just average, even on paper. The same is for goaltending. Seems like the standing isn't that surprising anymore eh? Although I still was expecting more from them. Anyways, let's looks at their future and see what Gustav might do.
 
I'd say they are in weird position right now. Owen Nolan is retiting following this season and Jensen is going to bid his farewell a season after. Lefebvre stopped developing altogether and Vlad Imir is just a depth tier forward, nothing more. On the bright side, both S72 first picks are locked for 2 more seasons after this one and Tsujimoto is a GM player so that automatically makes him a very promising center.
Moving to defense: situation there is worse in my opinion. Tyler Walker may legit pull Condor in Davos, but it's very muddy after that. Ahma has only 1.5 seasons left with not much TPE left, Wyman never earned lots of TPE in the first place and he is on the prime already. Shawty is a future second pair defenseman at most. That's tough.
Goaltending is an odd one. Bruden is set to regress after this season. They do have a way younger goalie in Berocka, but it may take 2-3 seasons before he becomes a good netminder.
 
In conclusion about their near future...tough telling. Their possible roster for the next season without any signings or drafting:
 
F - Jensen, Hornet, Winter, Tsujimoto
D - Walker, Jokinen, Shawty
G - Bruden, UnGuri
 
Honestly, I'm not sure about others. Vlad is not a fast TPE earner and he may be not needed in Davos. The same for Lefebvre who is just inactive. Wyman might be extended, but not sure about that. Now, they do have a couple of prospects coming up following this season, but I don't see them doing big. They would need a couple of seasons before becoming solid to star level players. So basically they need more big TPE players. The current lineup wasn't just not doing enough in S73, they weren't doing enough in S74, they are not doing enough now and they won't do much next season either. They just never meshed up together and it doesn't seem it's going to change anytime. Maybe more stars going to help them? Maybe rebuid? Retool? The star player swap? I'm not sure about the next offseason's trade market yet, still to early. But I could see one or two teams trying to change things in their respective teams so maybe Gustav may take an Advantage of that if he's still set on competing.
 
One thing is for sure though - don't trade for New York players. Most likely they are aleady have the underachieving mentality, just like the NY itself.
 
That's it and I'm out.
 
23/11 - 29/11
30/11 - 5/12