IamMOOSE

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F - Groovy Dood @Kylradyou're up.

@fishyRJ Jubis was already selected by you for the disqualified Danadrea lol @GRZTimothy Brown was selected by Kylrad earlier in the draft. Reslect your picks whenever.

F - Guy Lesieur @GRZyou're up.

@Viperxhawks19 has been skipped for the third time. @Hoopydogis now on the clock.

@Viperxhawks19 you have 3 hours to make you picks.

@Viperxhawks19 you're up and need three players.

Love the comments.

In what will be the shortest ever The Long & Short of It, we cover a classic, a hall of fame worthy piece of VHL history. We've all seen and heard the joke, a timeless classic of the VHL. But for so many of us, getting fisted anally by a circus monkey is punchline without an origin, a whisper of a time yonder, a memory without context. But like all great jokes, there is an origin story to this legend. One draped in prestige from its content to the players and hall of famers it originated from. After so many seasons for some us, and uses of the phrase without true knowledge of its importance to the foundations of this community, today, through the words of @Victor, he shares the story: Moose: @Victor. what is the actual origins of the joke in the league? Victor: @Moose l Kevin King to set the scene, it's S17. A fresh faced muff (long before he was even known as muff) decided to actually give the VHL a proper go and joins the legendary S18 draft with his goalie Joey Clarence. The commissioner of the time is a guy called Slobo (you'll recognise the name Brett Slobodzian I'm sure). An absolute joker of a guy who once recorded a drunk podcast with "Fong" and "Harvey" (the resident Dil of the day) which was just him chatting shit and every now and then playing recordings of an angry Chinese and an angry Indian man. It was hilarious and completely inappropriate. @thadthrasher: Literally sounds amazing haha, any way to listen to said podcast? Victor: Lol afraid not its lost to the wild now. thadthrasher: Just as mysteriously as it appeared, it was gone. Victor: So let's go back to the S18 draft. Aidan Shaw and Daisuke Kanou were drafted in S18. You know, two of the greatest goalies of all time. Not to mention a shit ton of other Hall of Famers. Poor Clarence had no chance and fell all the way to the 3rd round despite a very healthy amount of TPE. And he realised this early on so throughout S17, on any media spot or podcast or general league thread about the draft he would post "FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY" whenever, and quite frequently, Clarence was not mentioned. You can probably piece 2 and 2 together by this point. Slobo had a bit of fun and here we are, 60 seasons and 10 years on, Still getting fisted anally by a circus monkey. In honor of this week's The Long & Short of It, we request that everyone comment this week with simply, "FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY"

D - Jeff Downey @Kylradis on the clock.

Hello Lilpfigher and welcome to the VHL! My name is Moose, AGM for the San Diego Marlins of the VHLM. You join at a great time as we’ve just begun the regular season. Right now, a lot of teams, ourselves included are looking to add a goalie to a backup role and while that may be concerning for a new player I can assure you that there’s great opportunities ahead! Many GMs will dangle the idea of juniors in front of you but I believe that the allure of our lockeroom far exceeds other teams in this league. You’d be a part of a great group of players as we help mold you into a superstar of the future in the VHL. As stated previously, you would be offered a backup goaltending role on the Marlins this season but would have access to a lively Discord server, help from some of the top young members in the league, and a chance to be a part of a franchise on the upswing. If you’re interested in joining us in San Diego and getting your career off to a big start, simply quote this and reply “Join A Family” and we’ll get you on your way to being a future star in the VHL/VHLM!

Hello Leafsfan328 and welcome to the VHL! My name is Moose, AGM for the San Diego Marlins of the VHLM. You join at a great time as we’ve just begun the regular season. Right now, a lot of teams, ourselves included are looking to add a goalie to a backup role and while that may be concerning for a new player I can assure you that there’s great opportunities ahead! Many GMs will dangle the idea of juniors in front of you but I believe that the allure of our lockeroom far exceeds other teams in this league. You’d be a part of a great group of players as we help mold you into a superstar of the future in the VHL. As stated previously, you would be offered a backup goaltending role on the Marlins this season but would have access to a lively Discord server, help from some of the top young members in the league, and a chance to be a part of a franchise on the upswing. If you’re interested in joining us in San Diego and getting your career off to a big start, simply quote this and reply “Join A Family” and we’ll get you on your way to being a future star in the VHL/VHLM!

@Nikdandrea34has been skipped on both picks, make them whenever. @GRZyou're back on the clock my guy.

@Nikdandrea34you got 4 hours left on your two picks my guy let's go. @Viperxhawks19you still have not made your skipped pick and can make that whenever, let's go!

Agreed

Well, congrats admins/commish, this format is even more shit lol

No real surprises in any of these for me. fuck reviews by the way. Fuck them with 10ft cactus with snake venom on it. That said, I'd almost be surprised if Zamboni Driver doesn't get to 40 wins. The team in front of him is for whatever reason still a surprise sleeper team to some. Bernard may take a step back this season but with the team in front of him I doubt it's noticeable. Spyro is king, and should have this season to really steal some games, hopefully he can with a bit of a gap left behind by Louth retiring and Downey going to Chicago. 9/10 on the words my friend. good read.

That's fucking excellent. You couldn't have done more without literally constructing him a new mask. 10/10 from the font, the style, the shadowing and the render. Absolutely brilliant. I hate reviews by the way. They're fucking brutal. And writing them right now is genuine pain. Genuine, but great work man.

1) Who do you think the breakout start for this coming season will be? King: "The selfish answer is me. I think Andrew Su has a super strong year and really stands out as the right future Post-Louth but honestly I really believe every scenario points to myself really coming out strong all year. People will sleep on me as they should but this will be a welcome home party for Kevin King this season." 2) Who will be this seasons Rookie of the Year? King: "Couldn't name five rookies this season lol. Pistil Stamen I guess lol." 3) Who do you think will make the best captain in the future? King: "I think Spyro is our guy. Until he retires he's our rightful Captain. Once he retires Su is a logical option. Thightrap is another solid pick." 4) You're down a 2 goals with 3 minutes left on the clock. Do you pull the goalie or wait and see? King: "If we've had zone pressure yes, if we've been struggling to maintain pressure no." 5) If we had to change from the wolves but stay in vancouver what would a good idea for a new name? King: "No idea. Honestly Wolves works. The first thing I can think of is the Vancouver Salish or Squamish as an homage to the history of indigenous people that settled the area." 6) Who is your favourite Wolf and why? King: "It's tough between Sandstrom, Adrienne, & Thightrap. We've been through a lot coming from the M together. I've developed a lot of history with this squad though so they're all important to me."

Claim 2/2

@GRZyou're up

D - Roque Davis

@Kylradyou're up.