Daniel Janser

I mean, surely the two people living in Saskatchewan hardly need a hockey team for themselves?

It is the age old West vs East rivalry which was successfully transferred into the New World where the animosity between East Coast and West Coast rappers is real.

you forgot to mention more free stuff and thangs

Yes... as I understand it... it reads 'Enorama and Thad fired and left jobless' which suggests all of them...

and yet you are still commish (not saying that is a bad thing to the contrary, just stating the obvious)

If I was commish for one day, I would follow the tradition of other Swiss at the top of a sport like René Fasel, Sepp Blatter and Gianni Infantino. Which of course means to turn a sport into a money-printing machine with little to no morals. As first order of the day I would implement the VHLA (VHL Africa). The fact, that overnight there were 50 Million Dollars more on my Swiss bank account would be of course a completely unrelated coincidence. The TPE range would be 1000+ and the VHL would be hard capped at 1000 and if players would want to play beyond 1000 TPE they need to join a VHLA team. The VHLA would not draft players but would bid for them like in European football. And here are the eight VHLA franchises (in no particular order): Pretoria Cheetahs This Southafrican team would be allowed (as their team name suggests) to circumvent the VHLA financial fairplay rules without consequences (and thereby make it much more effective than the UEFA equivalent, where everyone can do so). The first GM would be Olaf 'Ollie the Goalie' Kolzig. Alexandria Librarians This Egyptian franchise would be mainly consist of bookworms and nerds with the physical prowess of spavined worms. Which of course will make them the perennial bottomfeeder team. Their first GM would be Mo Salah (for no specific reason). Kibo Peaks Tanzania's first icehockey team would play on the Lake Victoria. For that purpose, they will pour as much liquid nitrogen into the biggest lake in Africa as it takes to freeze it over (take that Winter Classic). As the Lake Victoria is believed to be the source of the Nile, which in turn is the river mostly associated with Egypt, this puts them into eternal (and one sided) animosity with the Librarians. The first GM will be Chris Nielsen. Lagos Oilers The team based in the petroleum-rich Nigeria would be the equivalent of the Edmonton Oilers. Being able to afford the best player in the world but yet still choke in every playoffs. Rumun Ndur will be appointed as the first GM Antananarivo Lemuriformes Named after the omni-present primates, the team name does neither instill fear nor respect and they are considered a push-over. This is not helped by their vastly incompetent GM King Julien, often maliciously named 'Malagasy Milbury'. Brazzaville Braggers The franchise name of this team was chosen to spite the DR Kongo who does not have a VHLA team (their offer was just better). This was also the only reason why they applied for the VHLA. Since they do not really care about their team, the GM position is vacant at the moment. Carthage Elephants This franchise has their stadium in Tunis (former Carthage) and is an up and coming team, not least due to its GM Hannibal Barca who brings a plethora of experience playing hockey in Mississauga. Yamassoukrou Eagles This team from the Côte d'Ivoire is still in the process of hiring players and staff. They are very eager to make this new sport a success in their country. Their GM Ronan Lavelle is working the phones hard to build up a respectable team. Why Ronan you ask? Well, someone mixed up the Irish flag with the Ivory Coast one and the rest is a (drunken) (Hi)story. There you have it, the mischiev I could wreak if I ever became Commish... let's hope I never do.

Graphic courtesy of Leandrofg (Marcel's stats/Daniel's stats) 5-3 The Wranglers lost three in a row, the last of which was against Los Angeles with the final score of 5-3. LA went one ahead with a power play marker, followed up by an even strength goal. Torbjorn then halved the deficit on the man advantage, shortly before the siren sounded. In the second period, Latvian grandfather Miglaskems made it a two goal game again. The least renowned of the Pearce-brothers, Calix scored another power play goal early in the third frame. Gonçalves 'egoistically' pulled one back and VLG used a bad line change by LA for a short handed marker. Unfortunately, the final goal was for the Stars again, the third they scored that night on the power play. The three stars went to Cooke (1g/4a), Miglaskems (1g/1a) and VLG (1g/1a). Rookie Dilson (.891) was only a fraction weaker than Vandelay (.903). Calgary's power play was lethally efficient (1/1), while their penalty killing, despite the short handed goal, was abysmal (7/10). Daniel was recorded with 0g, 1a, -1, 2 hits, 1sb and 60.00% success at the hashmark. Here are the Rotkreuz natives' statistics for the current season: Marcel: 32gp, 7g, 10a, 17pts, +22, 12 PIM, 18 hits, 47sb, 1gwg, 2ppg, 1shg, 1 First Star Award Daniel: 33gp, 19g, 30a, 49pts, +13, 36 PIM, 79 hits, 21sb, 4gwg, 4ppg, 61.25FO% and 4 First Star Awards Stay tuned for further updates on our intrepid hockey exports. In the interim, kindly read some of our related articles linked below for your convenience. https://vhlforum.com/topic/137274-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-final-countdown/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137307-a-tale-of-two-brothers-slow-but-steady/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137491-a-tale-of-two-brothers-34th-of-a-season-left/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137578-is-he-selfish/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137631-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-leandro-defence/ GM 246: Prague Phantoms vs. Chicago Phoenix (vhlportal.com) GM 261: Los Angeles Stars vs. Calgary Wranglers (vhlportal.com)

1. I would implement the VHLA (VHL Africa) for the 400-600 range, just to piss off all the VHLE nay-sayers. 2. None at the moment, I just do not find the time for it (and I am not really a leader either) 3. I doubt that somebody would trade for old man Janser. But I would go to Moscow, so I have already an excuse why I did not win the cup in my final year. 4. I cannot do graphics to save my life, but people more savvy in PS keep telling it is easy TPE. 5. I have not really followed the offseason. The Pens have not made big waves in the draft or the FA (at least as far as I know) and their core around Malkin/Crosby reach expiry date. 6. Neither. Not fond of the two choices, I prefer jam or honey.

I know. I was just pulling your leg

What happened to: "Perfectly balanced, as all things should be"?

In hindsight I should have known that you are going to revive the Amstel Tijgers. Just one question though: Should Amstel not replace Davos (being the 'heir' to Amstel) instead of Warsaw?

I had first (as per @Ahma) drafted, but then cut it out

claim 2/2

Graphic courtesy of Leandrofg (Marcel's stats/Daniel's stats) The season is nearing its half-way mark and the teams of both Jansers are at the moment in a position to directly qualify for the playoffs, with Calgary trailing the Bears by two points and Prague having a eight point deficit against the second in the European conference, Moscow. Both brothers are second of the league in their field of expertise: scoring for Daniel and +/- rating for Marcel. We picked two games to showcase in our today's edition. 6-2 The Phantoms handed a comprehensive defeat to the Phoenix in a 6-2 win. It took Marcel all but 40 seconds to bring his colours in front. Jameson wins an offensive draw and passes the disc to Argos. The right wing one times it and the Finnish forward Kauppi deflects the shot. But DB III puts his body in front of the shot. Marcel picks up the orphaned puck and buries it top shelf. Laperriere increases the lead with a power play marker. Chicago pulls one back, but Jameson reinstates the two goal advantage. In the second period, Love profits from a Holding penalty against the Phoenix, Laperriere and Jameson make the score 6-1 before the second intermission. The Illinois outfit then mitigates the asskicking by scoring one goal in the third (and thus manage to win at least one period, if nothing else). The three stars were awarded to Jameson (2g/0a), Laperriere (2g/1a) and Daniels (2g/0a). Minion (.878) had a rough time against the vastly superior Murdock (.933). Prague's power play was slightly above par (2/7) and their penalty killing was immaculate (4/4). Marcel left the ice with 1g, 1a, +3, 2 PIM (Holding, obviously no impact on the score) and 2sb. 5-3 The Wranglers lost three in a row, the last of which was against Los Angeles with the final score of 5-3. LA went one ahead with a power play marker, followed up by an even strength goal. Torbjorn then halved the deficit on the man advantage, shortly before the siren sounded. In the second period, Latvian grandfather Miglaskems made it a two goal game again. The least renowned of the Pearce-brothers, Calix scored another power play goal early in the third frame. Gonçalves 'egoistically' pulled one back and VLG used a bad line change by LA for a short handed marker. Unfortunately, the final goal was for the Stars again, the third they scored that night on the power play. The three stars went to Cooke (1g/4a), Miglaskems (1g/1a) and VLG (1g/1a). Rookie Dilson (.891) was only a fraction weaker than Vandelay (.903). Calgary's power play was lethally efficient (1/1), while their penalty killing, despite the short handed goal, was abysmal (7/10). Daniel was recorded with 0g, 1a, -1, 2 hits, 1sb and 60.00% success at the hashmark. Here are the Rotkreuz natives' statistics for the current season: Marcel: 32gp, 7g, 10a, 17pts, +22, 12 PIM, 18 hits, 47sb, 1gwg, 2ppg, 1shg, 1 First Star Award Daniel: 33gp, 19g, 30a, 49pts, +13, 36 PIM, 79 hits, 21sb, 4gwg, 4ppg, 61.25FO% and 4 First Star Awards Stay tuned for further updates on our intrepid hockey exports. In the interim, kindly read some of our related articles linked below for your convenience. https://vhlforum.com/topic/137274-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-final-countdown/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137307-a-tale-of-two-brothers-slow-but-steady/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137491-a-tale-of-two-brothers-34th-of-a-season-left/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137578-is-he-selfish/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137631-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-leandro-defence/ GM 246: Prague Phantoms vs. Chicago Phoenix (vhlportal.com) GM 261: Los Angeles Stars vs. Calgary Wranglers (vhlportal.com) (533 words, claiming for weeks 02/07/23 and 09/07/23)

Graphic courtesy of Leandrofg (Marcel's stats/Daniel's stats) The 'Swiss Central Gazzette' has found an article from an other news outlet, which slanders Portuguese Wonder Leandro Gonçalves as being selfish (please see the link at the bottom of this article). In an attempt to get a statement from his Captain, Jean-Luc Lieuxperroux (JLL) called the DJ to catch up. JLL: 'Hi Daniel, good to reach you. I sent you a link to an article. Do you wish to make any comments on the matter?' DJ: 'Hi Jean-Luc. You can bet your ass I whish to comment. In fact, I already read the article before you sent me the link, and I had a half a mind to call you anyway.' JLL: 'So what are your thoughts on the topic?' DJ: 'I think the author of this ill-researched article was hitting deadline and was desperate to find some drama to concoct. Lenny is one of the least selfish people I have ever met, always putting the team first.' JLL: 'He does shoot an awful lot, though.' DJ: 'I grant you that that bit of the article is true. Gonzo would be a number one center in any other VHL franchise. Since he joined the Wranglers he has been with a few exception on this second line, without moaning about lack of ice time. He does exactly what our GM Rice asks of him: he provides veteran presence to a line which traditionally transitions rookie and sophomore players into VHL veterans. Leandro shows the youngsters how it is done and leads them from the trenches, i.e. by example. He does it brilliantly and plays a vital role for the Wranglers' future, even beyond his own career. Besides, every shot has a chance to create a goal, either directly or through rebounds. Unfortunately, Leandro is a victim of one of the best forward duos in the hybrid era, Wolanin and me. I have no doubt that he would get first line minutes in Calgary otherwise. He developed also into a more physical player than he was in his starting seasons, which is also a testimony to his 'team first'-mentality. He is willing to sacrifice his body, even though he is more talented than most and would not need to do that. Look at the amount of short handed goals he scored for us during the years. Nine by my count. So he not only kills off penalties, he takes this advantage for the other team and throws it in their faces. I will admit, that it takes some degree of selfishness to be succesful on that level. Scotty Campbell did not become the GOAT by not shooting, when he saw an opening.' JLL: 'So the accusations are completely unfounded?' DJ: 'Absolutely, I fail to understand how anyone in their right mind and only an inkling of hockey knowledge could suggest that Leandro is a selfish player. I strongly recommend the author of this piece of work looks for a different genre to write about, maybe which celebrity is going to divorce. This seems more fitting for somebody who apparently seeks to create drama where there is none.' JLL: 'Wow, that is a clear statement. Thanks for your time and good luck for the remainder of the season.' DJ: 'Thanks for having me. Cheers.' The Jansers' stats in a nutshell: Marcel: 30gp, 6g, 8a, 14pts, +17, 10 PIM, 17 hits, 42sb, 1 gwg, 2ppg, 1shg, 1 First Star Award Daniel: 31gp, 19g, 29a, 48pts, +14, 36 PIM, 77 hits, 18sb, 4gwg, 4ppg, 61.16FO%, 4 First Star Awards https://vhlforum.com/topic/136752-a-tale-of-two-brothers-go-west/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/136893-a-tale-of-two-brothers-away-to-new-frontiers/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137274-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-final-countdown/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137307-a-tale-of-two-brothers-slow-but-steady/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137491-a-tale-of-two-brothers-34th-of-a-season-left/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137578-is-he-selfish/

and suddenly, @MubbleFubbles became your best friend (yes that includes your brother) in the VHL with immediate effect...

Damn son, @leandrofg article suggested that you are a VHLM AGM legend (which admittedly can be true for a stint of only three days)

I did not know that, thanks for the clarification

Jeff Lewis (vhlportal.com) Under finances

In that direction a little tip from me: When I took over the Hounds and I knew I had to rely on waivers to get an even half-way decent roster together, I asked one of the members to make me an appealing graphic in the hope that this would seperate the Hounds' pitch from the mass (and I had quite a success with that). So if you are good with graphics (or know somebody who is and willing to help out), this could be a route to be taken to increase the waiver pitch success rate.

huh only noticed now that Hannibal Barcas and Pope Francis play for Rome... my guess is that Hannibal's adobe is more in the suburbs (Hannibal ante portas) whereas Francis probably resides in the inner city (Vatican City)...

1. I did not expect anything else with this wonderful group of people. 2. Frankly, outside Prague (which seem to be performing within their tier) I have not paid much attention to other teams prognosis. 3. To Mississauga and go on a fishing expedition of Kurt Janser's yacht. 4. He simply hopes that seeing double makes AG hit at least one of the two goals in front of him. 5. I do not follow a strategy to be honest. I decide at a whim. 6. Bedard to the Penguins (and I do not care that it is impossible).

@jacobcarson877

Graphic courtesy of Leandrofg (Marcel's stats/Daniel's stats) We are already a fourth into the season. The Wranglers come from a straight seven wins and are second in the NA conference, trailing the ever competitive Bears by one point. Marcel's Prague is second in the European conference, three points behind the Swiss franchise Davos. Both brothers are at the moment bound to repeat their personal points total in their final season. It looks like there is no slowing down for these retiring power houses. Daniel is now 5th in alltime scorer for the Albertan team with only HOFers in Chershenko, Slobodzian, Boulet and Rybak ahead of him. That makes him already the highest scoring Wrangler in the last 54 seasons. An argument could be made that with the higher competition in the 80s then there was in the beginning of the league, that Daniel's scoring is more of an achievement. This is a perennial controversy, though and likely never will be answered satisfactorily. With his opening goal against Warsaw, the Captain has also overtaken franchise legend and HOFer Jardy Bunclewirth in Calgary's alltime goal scoring race. Chershenko (two goals more than Janser) and Slobodzian (13 goals more) sit at number four and three respectively, and we cannot see DJ not overtaking them, when the season is done. The Rotkreuz native is also the leading goal and point scorer in the hybrid era, trailed by Pearce and Marner respectively. Swedish Uber-defender Bo Johansson is leading in the apple department. Marcel is on track for twenty goals, which is almost triple his best season total (eight, in his S85 rookie season). He also scored his first shorthanded goal ever (and a First Star award) in the game against LA. He does a good job staying out of the sin bin (six penalty minutes sofar) and is tied second in the league for +/- rating with a +14 (together with his brother). With the younger Janser playing for a potential contender in the Phantoms, a personal three-peat is a possibility and he would be the second player to win three consecutive cups with three different franchises. The other one was Will Clarke from S70-72, interestingly also a certified stay-at-home defender with a relativ low talent ceiling (he retired with 401 TPE and 108 points, both statistics exceeded by Marcel's 729 TPE and 150 points). Alas, it is pretty early in the season and a lot of hockey is still to be played. This newspaper is regardless pretty confident, that Prague as well as Calgary will make the post season, bar any collapse of epical proportions. S90 will prove to be a challenge for the Wranglers on the center position as there is no prospect in sight, who could replace Gonçalves in the second line to take the draw. There are other talented players coming up though in left wingers Steve Lattimer and Mason Rice. Lattimer has a two point average in a strong Istanbul team and is leading the league in points as well as assists. Rice's numbers do not look as impressive on a first glance, but we need to accrue for playing in a rather mid-team in Vasteras, who lost nine in a row at the time of writing this article. Here are the stats for our intrepid (and retiring) heroes: Marcel: 18gp, 5g, 7a, 12pts, +14, 6 PIM, 7 hits, 26sb, 1ppg, 1shg, 1 First Star award Daniel: 18gp, 14g, 16a, 30pts, +14, 22 PIM, 41 hits, 11sb, 2gwg, 3ppg, 61.14FO%, 3 First Star awards We will revert with news on the Jansers' career as soon as possible. https://vhlforum.com/topic/136583-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-last-off-season/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/136752-a-tale-of-two-brothers-go-west/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/136893-a-tale-of-two-brothers-away-to-new-frontiers/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137274-a-tale-of-two-brothers-the-final-countdown/ https://vhlforum.com/topic/137307-a-tale-of-two-brothers-slow-but-steady/ GM 72: Los Angeles Stars vs. Prague Phantoms (vhlportal.com) GM 140: Calgary Wranglers vs. Warsaw Predators (vhlportal.com)