Jericho

I imagine that the later seasons will be even better once he can use pictures that aren't 50 years old. Gonna be sweet!

It's been MONTHS!

I got shafted by Dick-vise

I've got diplomatic immunity so hammer you can't sue

You don't have to hide it from the others. They're very accepting of our kinds of love.

Who I shower with in my free time is nobody's business.

Stop changing your fucking name to things that aren't Kesler. You can't be called anything else. I know he was traded from the glorious Canucks, but he'll always be next to you in your heart (as your spirit animal). Your name is Kesler, stop using other ones.

Honestly, fair deal for both sides. Good start Kesler, good start indeed.

Secret base.

Man it's a good thing we had good skaters, because those 3 goals on 15 shot games were the pinnacle of goal-tending finesse. Great series Wild, you definitely had the better goalie. Best of luck in the future.

It's a good thing our grading staff, and GMs keep on top of league changes

I think the Jagr is you get a career extension to 59 seasons.

It's Miller time?

The Pajodcast Player Agency: Part 2 Wahls of Liberty "And now, you're all going to die like your friend Professor Xavier there. I've planted a bomb at the Community Center and locked all the doors. The Pajodcast Agency will never recover, and Blades of Steel will reign supreme from this day forward!" The words of Joey Kendrick rang through the community center. Jax Barnstormer looked around the room at his colleagues, unsure of what to do. Jax hadn't really done anything outside of stopping pucks for the last 5 years, and felt completely unequipped to deal with the situation. Braxton was the one who broke the sudden silence. "Alright, well we have to do something about that bomb. Rift, how much experience do you have with disarming bombs?" Rift turned and answered, "Disarming bombs? I'm no expert, but I've dealt with them before. Part of my kit includes a special spray that freezes bombs and renders them inactive for a day or two." Sullivan raised a hand in query "You have an aerosol can that freezes bombs? What the actual fuck are you talking about? That's the most convoluted bullshit I've ever heard?" "Convoluted bullshit? You'll see a lot more convoluted bullshit before our journey comes to an end," Rift replied. "Now if you'll all shut up for a minute, I'll go take care of that bomb." The room went completely silent as Rift unsheathed his freeze-can and made his way around the room. After a few minutes of searching, Rift upended a table and revealed the bomb that Kendrick had left for them all, faintly beeping in the silence. Rift sprayed the explosive from a distance until the beeping stopped. "Alright, that should do it. Now we just need to break out of here. I've got some C4 in my bag, we'll put a hole in the wall. When you all leave I want you to go your separate ways and meet me in the Vasteras Iron Eagles arena. It's been completely abandoned, not that anyone but they players has been there for years. I'll see you all in 24 hours." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jax pushed the arena doors open hesitantly, feeling very out of place. Rift had blown the wall of the community center, and Jax had escaped into the night alone. After a last minute red-eye to Sweden he'd driven to the remote town of Vasteras as instructed. Upon entering the arena, Jax was surprised to see that not only had Rift beaten him to Sweden, but had set up a mobile conmmand center where center ice would be. Rift noticed the door opening and waved to Jax, "Hey kid, I remember you from the community center. You're Snow's new kid right?" Jax hesitated before answering, "..Yes..." "Good. I had a talk with Brax and Sully on the flight over. A lot of those players are good guys, but they aren't going to be any use on this mission." "Mission? What are you talking about? And what makes you think I'd be more useful?" Jax asked. "Just grab a seat somewhere and wait until the rest of the Agency players show up." Rift said sharply. Jax did as he was told and waited as one by one Kellinger, Angelo, Pajari, Laich, Sullivan and Braxton entered. When Braxton arrived he spoke briefly with Rift before turning to address the group. "Everyone, it's no secret that Joey Kendrick and his band of terrorists wants us dead. They tried to have us all killed at the community center, twice, and it won't be long before another attempt is made. We already lost Gunnar Rask, and it could be any one of you next time. We're going to have to strike back at the Blades where it hurts." ​Kellinger interrupted then, "Shouldn't we wait until Wahl gets here before we get into the details?" "Unfortunately Brick Wahl was discovered on his way to Sweden, and the Blades have taken him to their base in Cologne, Germany. That is where we'll launch our first strike. Security is top notch, which means we won't be able to get a large group in. Our plan is to send in two individual players alone, and independent of one another. The first will be Rift, taking on the codename 'Solid Skylar'. His liason will be Sullivan, codename 'Sullicon'." "We don't have a second guy with any military experience," Angelo piped in. "Not true actually. The Season 25 New York Americans were involved in a black ops joint mission with the Navy SEALS. I've got enough experience for the job. Unfortunately I'm too old to perform in the field anymore. Which means we'll be sending in young Jax," Braxton said. Jax looked stunned, "Me? But I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have any field experience." "Don't worry, you'll have me acting as your liason. I'll be using the codename 'Colonel'. You'll have a few days to prepare before you have to join Solid Skylar in the field for phase 2. You should be able to log quite a few hours in VR training." Braxton said reassuringly. Jax looked incredibly relieved, "Oh good! That's basically the same thing right?" "Totally...for this mission your codename will be "Raiden". Now Raiden, you need to start VR as soon as possible. We're sending Skylar in immediately, and you need to be ready when he finishes phase 1. We'll brief you on the mission when the time comes, but you have work to do. Continued in Part 3

Reborn

this topic covered in an upcoming Pajodcast!

drops the mic

YEAH!

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!

Wait a sec, something seems fishy here... I recall another Jeff who had a cousin named Scott, but he's already been here! LIQUID!

Noah just has to submit the Lost Tale about the parallel timelines and he wins. Not even Jason can top that one, given that he explained how seasons are simultaneously 2 months and a year. And how players can get from Cologne to Calgary in 20 minutes for a game.

The Pajodcast Player Agency: Part 1 The Team Assembles It was a cold evening when Jax Barnstormer got out of the cab and approached the Community Center, but he barely noticed. He'd been a VHLM player for less than 2 weeks and he'd already been invited to an incredibly exclusive gala. He hadn't expected his name to have gotten enough publicity to be living it up with the Upper Class, but he assumed it was because of the agency representing him and all of their success. Probably some sponsors looking to get a deal with Kyle Snow's new player before he cost too much. Walking through the front door and into the main room Barnstormer paused and scanned the crowd. He saw a lot of faces that seemed familiar, but couldn't remember where. The only face he recognized was Wesley Kellinger, one of Snow's former players. The two had met a few times in Snow's office, with Kellinger still in his final VHL season at the same time as Barnstormer was getting signed to his VHLM contract, but they didn't know each other very well. "Kind of intimidating isn't it?" A voice behind Jax said casually, "Don't worry, you get used to it" Jax turned sharply and found himself facing Snow's other player, Daniel Braxton. Jax and Daniel were well acquainted, having spent 5 years together training during Kellinger's career. Jax Barnstormer and Daniel Braxton "Yeah, I wasn't really sure where to go. I don't know anyone other than Wes and you," Jax admitted. "Don't worry about it kid, I'll show you around." Braxton said, gesturing toward a small group of people. The two men grabbed a few drinks and made their way around the room, Braxton making introductions as they went along. Jax studied each person he met. Rauno Pajari was an incredibly humble guy. He and Braxton had roomed together once Pajari has been traded to New York and had gotten along famously. Ryan Sullivan was a bit less so, clearly used to being the center of attention. Jax wasn't surprised given that he was a Hall of Fame defenseman. He and Braxton seemed to have a bit of a competitive vibe, but it seemed friendly. Both of them being faces of their generation for the same team would do that to you. Rauno Pajari and Ryan Sullivan Kellinger came along and introduced Jax to Logan Laich, a teammate of his on the Cologne Express. Laich was a bit of an oddball, seeming obsessed with his hit totals every game, but a nice enough guy none-the-less. Wesley Kellinger and Logan Laich Another group of players made their way over to Jax's circle. He recognized one man immediately Brick Wahl's poster had been on his wall throughout his teenage years, a player who he hoped to emulate when he grew up. Michael Angelo was a defenseman who'd played in the late teens and early twenties. Braxton had played against him as a rookie, but Angelo was retired before Braxton's generation had really taken shape. Wahl was pushing a man in a wheelchair that Jax didn't know. The man had one leg, and seemed to know Wahl, Angelo and Sullivan pretty well. Braxton pulled Jax aside. Michael Angelo and Brick Wahl "That's Gunnar Rask. He was another one of Chris Miller's guys, expected to do great things after Angelo retired. Shortly before his draft he ran into a burning building to save a young girl when it collapsed. He sustained several injuries and ended up needing his leg amputated. He never got to play in the VHL, but Chris offered him a job at the Pajodcast Agency as a consultant. he's been working there ever since." "So, wait a second. Everyone here has been represented by the agency right? You, Kellinger and I are were all represented by Kyle Snow. Angelo, Rask, Sullivan and Wahl are Chris Miller's guys and Pajari and Logan Laich are with Ryan Power right? Jax asked. "Yeah that's strange. Everyone here was represented by the Pajodcast Agency during their careers. In fact, everyone ever represented by them is here except Chris Miller himself and..." Right then one of the waiters pulled out a handgun and shot Rask in the face. A panic spread as all the players dived for cover. Jax, taking cover behind a giant cake, was surprised to see the cake explode and a man jump out. The cake man leaped into action, quickly disarming the assassin with a flick of his wrist and snapping his neck after eight or ten tries. He then turned to face Jax and removed his mask, revealing himself to be Ryan Power's other player, Skylar Rift. Skylar Rift "Skylar, you're alive? Nobody's seen you since tat tanker exploded in the Hudson River. We all thought you were dead!" Kellinger exclaimed. "Thought I was dead? I've been keeping you all safe since then. Did none of you find it at all suspicious that everyone here does or did play for the same three agents. If someone had a problem with them, gathering all their players in one place would be the perfect place for an attack," Rift said, in a gravel-like tone. "Who could possibly have an issue the Pajodcast?" Jax wondered aloud. "I think I know. Who stands to gain from the Pajodcast losing their players? Joey Kendrick." Sullivan said darkly. "Joey Kendrick? It can't be, I killed him on Shadow Moses Island years ago when he was trying to launch a nuclear strike against the United States." Just then the giant television on the wall flickered to life, "I may not be as dead as you think I am...brother." Rift seemed genuinely surprised by the face looking back at him, "Jakob Kjeldsen! I thought you were dead too. I left you at sea with only one arm. How on Earth were you able to swim to shore like that?" "Oh I'm not just Jakob Kjeldsen! You may notice I have a new arm," Kjeldsen said, rolling his sleeve back, "But this isn't just any arm. It's the arm of Joey Kendrick, and now his spirit lives within me!" Joekob Kjeldrick The group agreed that seemed completely logical and not at all ridiculous. "And now, you're all going to die like your friend Professor Xavier there. I've planted a bomb at the Community Center and locked all the doors. The Pajodcast Agency will never recover, and Blades of Steel will reign supreme from this day forward! Continued in Part 2.

FUck Pensfan! Glad this is finally announced. I've been making thinly veiled jokes on the pajodcast for months about this.