twists

Lmfao

Reasons why Grape should take over as Moscow GM
 
As we all know Spartan is very good at losing and I don't think Putin likes that very much. In a previous article I wrote about why he should be fired. I've found the perfect replacement, I think we should hire Grape. Here are my reasons why:
 
1. He actually wins in the VHLM. Our lord and savior Grape consistently has good results in the VHLM, without having to "rebuild" like our current GM Spartan. Rebuilding is only for losers and thus Grape gains the edge here.
 
2. Grape is seen as a leader in our locker room. Unlike Spartan, Grape provides valuable intel and feedback to players looking to improve. Spartan barely posts anything in our locker room and that leaves it almost completely devoid of activity.
 
3. Grape can actually commit time to the team. Unlike Spartan who holds like 3 or 4 jobs, Grape can focus solely on our team and make sure we have a winning atmosphere. Spartan is currently too busy being Grape's boss to actually run our team properly.
 
@Grape

🤔

Reasons why Grape should take over as Moscow GM
 
As we all know Spartan is very good at losing and I don't think Putin likes that very much. In a previous article I wrote about why he should be fired. I've found the perfect replacement, I think we should hire Grape. Here are my reasons why:
 
1. He actually wins in the VHLM. Our lord and savior Grape consistently has good results in the VHLM, without having to "rebuild" like our current GM Spartan. Rebuilding is only for losers and thus Grape gains the edge here.
 
2. Grape is seen as a leader in our locker room. Unlike Spartan, Grape provides valuable intel and feedback to players looking to improve. Spartan barely posts anything in our locker room and that leaves it almost completely devoid of activity.
 
3. Grape can actually commit time to the team. Unlike Spartan who holds like 3 or 4 jobs, Grape can focus solely on our team and make sure we have a winning atmosphere. Spartan is currently too busy being Grape's boss to actually run our team properly.
 
@Grape

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??????
 
@hedgehog337 I'll pay you a 2nd rounder

Getting too expensive with all that activity and earning, what a big headache for me

I will as always #blamecole

Sorry it was all supposed to be read in sarcasm. I didn't realize how much shit Moon and others had been getting. Bad timing, and I'm sorry @Moon

*angy twists complained here*

Queefson otb when

EVERYONE BLAME @Moon!

Hi everyone, 
 
This wasn't a easy decision, but @N0HBDY, @jacobcarson877, and I didn't really have another choice. Due to the lack of players in the draft classes we have made the difficult decision to cancel the S91 JST. We hope that the JST can return in S92, with a hopeful increase in any amount of recruitment. Thank you to everyone who has played a role in the JST over the seasons, we'll see you all in S92.

1. Well the Red Wings have Patrick Kane now...so that's weird as hell
2. I don't know I haven't paid any attention to the M or its players lol
3. Well, I had a great season for how average my player is. 55 points is great for my d man
4. Holiday season baby! Christmas decorations are going up this weekend (I'm late but was on vacation all of Thanksgiving)
5. yes, hes the best loser
6. $ucideboy$ 

I will tell every member of the VHL that has been active in the past week that I love them live on stream. I don't know how anyone could turn this down

I will tell every member of the VHL that has been active in the past week that I love them live on stream. I don't know how anyone could turn this down

like last year I'll offer an (ugly) graphic made with only microsoft paint and I am very much not an artist.

@Moon

week 3 claim tehe >.< uwu

@Moon

Player Information
Username: a_Ferk
Player Name: Chuck E Cheese
Recruited From: Returning
Age: 50
Position: D
Height: 70 in.
Weight: 160 lbs.
Birthplace: United States of America

Player Page
@VHLM GM

1. I did, I ate at Veselka in NYC (an extremely authentic Ukrainian restaurant). Absolute goat place to eat
2. Dude I bought so much shit I don't want to talk about it, but everyone's christmas presents are taken care of
3. I love losing its actually the best thing ever
4. Yeah, that Spart's mom isn't #1
5. I wish I could tell you that, but Spartan refuses to tell me what I should invest my TPE into
6. MAX VERSTAPPEN

I think anyone of the charities that try to help kids has my vote. Yes, the world is a shit hole atm but every nation is sending stuff to those regions. I hope our sick kids get some love in a time of the year when they should have hope and happiness. 

Coming into his office this morning, the Ottawa Lynx GM notices that there’s a message on his answering machine, from a 495 number. He listens to it, and surprisingly, it was from Vladimir Putin. The message was short, basically praising the GM for the job he’s done with the minor league team, putting up great numbers in a relatively short amount of time, complimenting the roster makeup, and so on. Then he segways into his displeasure with the current standings of the Moscow Menace, the VHL team that’s basically in his backyard. Overall, he is very upset at the path @Spartan is taking, and believes, while the team cannot always be the best, that the team should never be the worst in the league.
 
“It is an embarrassment to all of Russia, and needs to be remedied!”

Putin goes on to allude that a shift in management may be occurring for the Menace, albeit not voluntarily. He advises the Ottawa GM to have his bags packed and be ready for any sudden movement in the GM world, and that a spot in the big leagues may be opening up soon.

All this comes after @twists' article about Moscow being the worst team ever, and could mean that Spartan may be out the door very soon. Ottawa has been known to make big moves when going in for a push, and with all the assets Moscow has, that might be what’s needed to get the Menace out of the basement.

I have been trying to figure out why Moscow has been so bad this season and I think I have finally figured out why. @Spartan is our GM. There’s no worse GM in the entire VHL than him. Has he ever won a cup? Of course not. He’s had the best teams that the VHL has ever seen and he can’t even win a continental cup? Who is this guy. Even I, the reigning inactive champion, have a cup. The Victator brought many wins to Moscow, but Spartan threw all of those in the toilet when he took over. There’s only one true GM that should be overseeing Moscow, and that is @Grape. He might actually bring us some wins. My sources tell me that Putin has lost all faith in Spartan, meaning his life expectancy is probably about 4 more days. Why the blues continue to allow this abomination of a GM to continue working in the VHL is beyond me. Something has to give at this point. Even @Steve our AGM has been complaining about our losses. I humbly ask @Beketov to remove Spartan as a GM and to install Grape in his place.
 
Thank you for listening to my Ted talk and I hope you all learned that Spartan is the worst GM ever. K thanks baiiiii

Some bits stand out as particularly true.