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I am not Streetlight, or Hustles. Right now, in this thread, I am Sam Helberg, a 22 year old living in a small town (<800 people) in Minnesota.

 

 

I apologize that this thread will be a bit more than just an introduction.

 

 

I used to be a kid. Those times were great, because I didn't have to care about anything. Growing up, baseball was my favorite sport (still is). I used to watch the Minnesota Twins every chance I had. I enjoyed playing baseball even more, playing on a summer rec league every year from when I was young up to the 6th grade. I played for my school team from 7th grade to 10th grade. I wasn't that great, and that's part of the reason I stopped. That, and also I didn't want my parents to have to pay a $150 activity fee for me to be able to go to practices and get a single at-bat and a few innings in the field during games.

 

I was always a (school) smart kid. I got A's all the time. I graduated 3rd in my class of ~120; tied for first was my best friend and my middle school crush. Some of my favorite times back then were riding the bus back to town (the school was in a city ~10 miles away) with the two of them. I wouldn't say I was unpopular during middle/high school, but I definitely wasn't part of the "popular" crowd, though I had some friends who were. From 7th-12th grade, I participated in something called Knowledge Bowl. It's a team competition for "nerds." Knowledge Bowl was awesome, and I was much better at it than I was at baseball.

 

So much more stuff I typed out and considered posting, but I probably shouldn't. I'll try to just make a short version. Here's some stuff about me:

 

-I've never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl. I've never asked a girl out. I'm too scared to shit of rejection that I would never. It sucks. Plus I just become interested in girls that I am already friends with (or who I believe I am friends with), and "friendzone" excuse bullshit, etc.

-One of those ladies in whom I had an interest is still someone who I like to talk to more than others about how I am and feelings and stuff like that. She's a good friend, but the ship has certainly sailed on anything more ever happening. And since I'm sure this thread will be more interesting if I somehow bring up nagger, during High School when I had a crush on this girl, I talked to nagger about it.

-I graduated college last May.

-During spring break, I went on a service trip with 28 other students. We rode a bus to a few cities, performing service projects at each stop, and growing to be good friends. On one particular night, I was feeling shitty, and then later that night I wasn't. In the time between my feelings changing, I told this group of people some things about myself that I had told only a couple people in my life (and some things that I'd never mentioned to anyone). There was a thing that actually happened before that as well, which was probably more important in my turnaround, but if you care to know, you can ask. I don't know if there is anyone reading this anyway. So that trip, I like to think, had a pretty big impact on me in ways that if you care about, you can ask me.

-Nowadays, I'm living with my parents. I don't own a car. I work at Walmart (I just recently started; I'm hoping for 32 hours/week, because new associates can't work 40).

-Yeah, I'm working at Walmart after graduating from college with a degree in accounting, magna cum laude honors, and ~$32,000 in student loans. I wouldn't care about working at Walmart so much if it weren't for the debt that I have. Part of me wishes I didn't go to college, because I don't care too much about having a great job, but I'd rather not have this debt.

-I'm better than I used to be, emotionally. I don't feel as worthless as I used to, I like to think I'm becoming more open, and I'm looking forward to the future. There are things that I want to attain (for starters, I want to earn enough money to get a car, then hopefully get a better job and move out).

 

I like to juggle. I'm decently good at juggling three balls, but I can't juggle four very well. Nor can I juggle clubs or fire or swords (I can juggle spoons, though!).

 

I play League of Legends and am on the VHL way more than I should be.

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More things about me:

 

-Chris Miller and I had a mutual Facebook friend. Someone who I went to high school with apparently spent some time in Canada in a cabin near Chris's friend or something like that. I don't remember exactly how they knew each other. Small world, though.

-I'm going to sleep now, because I work overnights.

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More things about me:

 

-Chris Miller and I had a mutual Facebook friend. Someone who I went to high school with apparently spent some time in Canada in a cabin near Chris's friend or something like that. I don't remember exactly how they knew each other. Small world, though.

-I'm going to sleep now, because I work overnights.

She actually dated one of my best friends.  That was crazy lol.

 

Good stuff man.  If you ever need to talk, let me know.  I share some of those same characteristics.

 

I might do something like this soon.

Edited by Advantage
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Oh we've all been there. I was cripplingly afraid to talk to girls until I was 16ish, when I basically stumbled into my first relationship in high school.

 

Definitely been in debt (never more than 7k, but that's what working during college did for me) and it sucked. Totally blows when you put all that work into something people basically require and then you don't get hired anywhere right away.

 

Honestly with girls it's a lot easier if you start asking them out before you get too close. You don't psych yourself out because if they reject you it's not like you'll ever see them again. (I used to liken it to impressing soloQ teammates, I don't care if I pissed them off because they're gone in 40 mins anyway). And honestly dating is all about getting to know people anyway, just like friendship...except with sex and stuff. But when you meet someone cool, ask them either out or for their number before you part for the first time. If it's the number make sure you ask her out within 2 days. If you put a hard timer on it you won't do the forever-pusing-it-back-into-the-friendzone thing.

 

Not that I'm the VHL's authority on women but I've been described as someone who "has wheels" by Noah Lefevre...so I'm pretty sure I'm legit.

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Really great post, Samwell.  I've also come to learn that the people here are as much my friends as anyone in real life.  Only I can't physically drink with them, which is a shame (I never got a chance to go on a date with sterling either :( )  It's cool how we can feel totally comfortable opening up like this.

 

I am curious to know this part though.

There was a thing that actually happened before that as well, which was probably more important in my turnaround

Can PM if you'd feel more comfortable.  Or not at all if you'd rather.  Whatever you like!

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Also you should move to Canada for an accounting job! I went for a beer tonight with my buddy who graduated from accounting in May, he had an interview in Kindersley which they paid him $200 for the drive there, even though it cost him $50 both way. Kindersley isn't all that awesome though.

He also mentioned a bunch in Alberta. One's at a ski resort that offers a "ski for free!" benefit, if that's your cup of noodles.

What I'm trying to tell you here is that Canada is great.

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I feel you have a growing dislike for me though the feeling from me isn't mutual I have no problem with you.  I'am definitely a gamer and openly seek to play various games with fellow VHLers.  We've played League on Skype before but you don't seem to really want to play with me when I see you on and that's fine.  I do find it hard to accept internet stuffs as truths but I believe in what you've said and do hope it was sincere.  I have a lot of similarities with your original message except I'm now years further along the road but the context reminds me a lot of my post college situation.

 

May 2008 graduated degree Computer Science with federal and state student loans

July 2008 took a retail job at OfficeMax at $8.50/hour and have never really used my degree

June 2009 I worked really hard for 11 months and was promoted giving me $9.35/hour

At this point I realized I didn't want to work this hard for a corporation that probably didn't care about me or even know I existed.  How I proceeded after this was one of the driving forces of me stepping down from Toronto GM spot and leaving the league around Season 12.

 

So I thought really hard and this is probably the best advice I can give to you or anyone else here.  What do you really want to do?  Now that sounds a lot like the high school / college adviser/counselor talk.  Except I'm willing to take it to a more true sense.  If you like to cook that doesn't mean you'd make a good chef and enjoy cooking for 100's of people in a fact paced environment.  Maybe you like to cook but you just aren't good at it.  For me it was more of the lottery winner thought I want to do what I want when I want.  If it means sleep all day, eat breakfast for dinner, or play video games all day that is what I was going to do.

 

Anything in life worth having isn't easy I made sacrifices along the way you talk about not having a vehicle and wanting one I waited till Spring 2012 before having my first car (and even then it wasn't a good one).  I rode my bike to and from work for 3+ years even during the winters of Western NY.  I decided buying a house was way more useful and important toward long term success than a car.  A rental property can make you money while a car unless its taking you to a high paying job far away costs you money.

 

October 2010 I bought my first house a 3 apartment rental nearly 18 months before owning my first car at just $9.35/hr I saved up enough money to buy a house in just over a year.

October 2011 I left OfficeMax and turned down a salaried management position because in 3 short years I worked hard enough and sacrificed enough to set myself up for the future.  I started my own business and in 2 months I'll have been doing what I want going on 3 years.  This also brought me back into the league when my free time jumped considerably.

 

1) Take care of yourself

2) Take care of your family

3) Take care of your friends

Do what you want in life as long as it is legal and not negatively effecting others.  Realize that in order to do what you want you must put forth the effort now to get the rewards later.

Edited by Mike
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I tried to be real serious and me which I usually am not on the VHL  :P

 

Also if I had to give any sort of relationship advice the new average age of marriage for men is like 29 and women is like 27.  Of all new marriages each year 50% end in divorce (not 50% of all new marriages are divorce it means if there was 1 million new marriages this year 500k new divorces are expected).  People who get married before 21 have like a 90% divorce rate.  The older you are essentially results in a higher success rate as life has taught you the important lessons.  Pretty sure I read somewhere that the brain doesn't fully mature till 25 years of age (everyone is different of course).  Society creates this pressure that you have to be in a relationship or get married and have kids.  The age that these things are happening at is rising and the number of people that do neither is also on the rise.

Edited by Mike
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