Mocking the S84 VHL Draft

[Ledge 1,131]

           Buenos tardes mis amigos

 

          The last time I did a mock draft was, quite seriously, in S76. It’s been a long, long time. Funny, I haven’t been doing too many long pieces since my stint in VSN some time ago. Alas, I was naturally drawn back to the Google Doc page (this was 9 pages) and my keyboard, so, as they say in hockey, LET’S DO THAT HOCKEY!

 

First off, let’s do a little draft lotterying.

 

 (Last to first)

         

  Results: 

 

Wuhu Metawolves! It’s just too bad your 1st overall belongs to LA.

 

Now the fun part is over and I have to actually do the mocking of the draft.

 

Draft Order:

LA (Vancouver)

Davos

Davos (Malmo)

Helsinki

LA

New York

 

End of lottery (sad) ()

 

Vancouver (DC)

Calgary (London)

Toronto (Chicago)

Davos (Calgary) (Holy shit Alex)

Prague

Warsaw

Moscow (Toronto)

Helsinki (Riga)

Moscow

Seattle

 

Wow, getting that order took like fifteen minutes for some reason, if it’s wrong I’m not changing it. (Sigma grindset)

Also, I do not recognize the real(fake) draft lottery results. The lottery was rudely done as I was writing this and I refuse to change it.

 

With the first overall selection in the S84 VHL Entry Draft, the Los Angeles Stars, are proud to select, from the Cologne Express:

Spoiler

Callum Murray!

 

         As soon as InstantRockstar was named GM of the LA Stars, he got straight to work imploding the Stars from the inside out. The immediate results were unfavourable, yes, but in the long term, he has the recipe for a Cup contender. However, they need to start with a few adept drafts. Their needs are, well, everything. They have a few welfare guys at each position, but nothing you would consider valuable to a playoff team. They need to start with a franchise player to build around. And coincidentally, the runaway obvious 1st overall selection just happens to be an enormous Aussie defenceman by the name of Callum Murray. A pass first, super steady defender, he draws comparisons to Victor Hedman, and his massive frame gives reason to believe he will have no trouble adapting to the VHL next season, if that’s where he chooses to go. He put up adequate numbers for Cologne this season (35 points), but, at least so far, that’s not where his strength lies. After all, he was a 22 year old playing against men in the second best league in the world! Where he differentiates himself from the rest of the draft class is his composure and poise on the ice. He has incredibly quick and nimble feet for a guy of his size, and his defensive game and elite passing were apparent. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be a star in the VHL in a short while, and the Wolves have their building block.

 

With the second overall selection, the HC Davos Dynamo are proud to select, from the Bratislava Watchmen:

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 Napoleon Dynamite!

 

          “I don’t even have any good skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!”

Alas, in his time with Bratislava in the VHLE, Napoleon seems to have developed some of those coveted skills he so dearly desires. The newly bulked-up Dynamite still isn’t quite as big as Callum “The Aussie Hammer” Murray, but he sure held his own in his rookie season in the VHLE. His 18 goals and 45 points were pretty respectable for a kid who was playing alongside some VHL veterans. Like Murray though, his potential as a No 1 center is undeniable. While not excelling in any specific category, Dynamite is a strong all-around player who makes an impact everywhere on the ice. Comparisons to Selke-owner Patrice Bergeron have been non-stop, and there’s definitely a bright future for Dynamite in Davos, where he is greatly needed up the middle. With Boris Tsezar and James Teekirque as the prominent players at their respective positions, Dynamite would step right into being the one of the most important Dynamoes on the team. His scoring, defense, and stickhandling are all elite, and it will be interesting to see where he chooses to play next season.

 

With the third overall selection, the HC Davos Dynamo (again) are proud to select, from the Istanbul Red Wolves:

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 Noodles Marconi! (there is no Istanbul emoji sadly)

 

          It only feels right that Alex and the Dynamo staff don’t even leave the podium and instead just keep Dynamite and everyone up there to congratulate Noodles Marconi. In Marconi, the Dynamo are shooting in the dark a little, because Marconi was buried behind VHLE veterans for most of the season and didn’t receive ideal ice time. However, there is still massive potential in the strong, stocky winger. His defensive game is very good, and although his scoring wasn’t given a chance to shine this season, his raw tools will have to turn into something soon. Scouts have been likening his game to that of David Pastrnak, who also took a few seasons after he was drafted to find his scoring touch, and we all know how that turned out. He joins a Dynamo roster that will lean heavily on him and Dynamite for hope in the coming seasons, but with those two and the rest of the core that Davos has built through the draft, 

 

With the fourth overall selection, the Helsinki Titans are proud to select, from the Stockholm Vikings:

Spoiler

Pierre Emile Bouchard! 

 

          The Helsinki Titans missed the playoffs by one point. Their 91 points would have earned them 2nd place in the North American Conference. Alas, here they are with the fourth overall pick, adding a potential franchise defenceman to their team. Pierre Emile Bouchard is a big, hulking Canadian defender who can block shots and score goals, every coach’s dream. He managed an extraordinary 21 goals and 72 points this season, blowing the rest of the draft class out of the water. His stickhandling, especially for a big man, is off the charts, and his defensive game isn’t far behind. With this incredible season under his belt, it’d be difficult to believe that he’d return to the minors for a victory lap when he could be chasing a trophy with Helsinki next season. It goes without saying that this player is ready for the next level, and he proved it this season. There’s not much not to like in Bouchard, who will join a Titans team that frankly doesn’t even need him, but will gladly take him. This is a team that should have been a contender for the Continental Cup, but instead wound up getting a Canadian John Carlson.

 

With the fifth overall selection, the Los Angeles Stars (again) are proud to select, from the Miami Marauders:

Spoiler

Art Vandelay! 

 

          Art Vandelay, former importer-exporter, now finds himself as the new future star goalie of the LA Stars. He joins Murray as the cornerstones of the Stars, and the two of them will surely have a bright future with each other. Vandelay, for his part, will put on that Stars jersey on draft day having maybe received some awards at the VHLM Show, due to his fantastic season with the Marauders this season, where he recorded 48 wins, 11 shutouts, a save percentage of .924, and a goals against average of 1.88. Those stats were either at the top or in the top 10 of each of the stat leaderboards mentioned. It is clear this season Vandelay had no issue dominating the VHLM, and it will be interesting to see if LA gives him the call to come right up and be their starter. One thing worth noting is his oddly diminutive frame, at 5’6 and 196lbs, which draws obvious comparisons to another famous undersized but super talented goaltender, Juuse Saros. 

 

With the sixth overall selection, New York Americans are proud to select, from the Bratislava Watchmen:

Spoiler

 Scoish Velociraptor Maloish! 

 

          The New York Americans are a team akin to the Stars in that they don’t have much to work with in their rebuild so far, aside from former 1st overall pick Vasile Lamb. So, they had the privilege of picking the best player available, and Scoish Velociraptor Maloish was it. The rather small but super stocky defender was having a remarkable season with 35 points in 54 games for the Rome Gladiators, before being dealt at the deadline to the Watchmen, where he had to battle for ice time a bit more. Nevertheless, he put up 9 points in 12 playoff games and helped Bratislava to their first ever Renaissance Cup. The pass-first defenceman is one of the top scorers this season of this class, despite being a blueliner. His skating is also excellent, one of the best in the draft class, which will also give him a big head start when he moves up to the VHL. I would say a good comparison would be Tony DeAngelo, without ya know, the awful personality stuff, because Loser is great. Maybe Adam Fox or Quinn Hughes is better. Probably.

 

With the seventh overall selection, the Vancouver Wolves are proud to select, from the Las Vegas Aces:

Spoiler

Dogwood Maple! 

 

          It’s finally time for the Metawolves to make a pick, after handing Callum Murray to the Stars in a gift wrapped with a cute little ribbon. I have to say though, they get a pretty darn good consolation prize. Dogwood Maple is what I would call an ‘electric first gen’, and I’m petrified that he’s gonna catch me in TPE soon because he’s on an absolutely torrid rate right now. Maple, a former Marauder, found his offensive groove with Las Vegas this season, recording 29 goals and 82 points for a smidge above point per game. The player himself is a respectable 6’2 and 195, the perfect build for a powerful, two way center, which is what Maple built into his game this season. A very strong technical player, he has great hands and a bullet shot, and his transition to (likely) the VHLE will be very smooth, even having capped off his VHLM career by helping the Aces capture the Founder’s Cup. Eventually, he will join a Wolves team that is in dire need of some young help, as 3 Continental Cups in a row does come with a price, and the Wolves are paying it very hard (I’m good at grammar) right now. Nevertheless, if Maple continues at this pace, he will be a very important piece in the Wolves’ future plans.

 

 

With the eighth overall selection, the Calgary Wranglers are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

 AK92 Wit da Hoodie! 

 

          The Wranglers, former home of Sirkants Klamasteris, now welcome another Latvian by the name of……hold on. Did I read that right? AK…92…..Wit da Hoodie? Anyways, he was a defenceman for the San Diego Marlins, who have a suspect amount of players appearing in this mock draft…not to spoil anything (I do it anyway teehee). AK92 started off his career with a very promising stint in Mexico, with nearly a point per game in both playoffs and not playoffs. He was dealt to San Diego very early in the season, and helped them to get all the way to the finals. The undersized defender is an offensive dynamo, and is a very good all-round defenceman to top it off. I’m going to steal Adam Fox from Maloish here because I think this comparison fits AK92 quite well. The Wranglers are a team kind of caught in the middle of a retool, and AK92 adds some much needed defensive depth that could help push Calgary to the next level of contention.

 

With the ninth overall selection, the Toronto Legion are proud to select, from the Oslo Storm:

Spoiler

 Cobalt Burns! 

 

          It’s me! Or should I say, Cobalt. He’s one of the players, like every other player here who it says belongs to a VHLE team, chose to skip the M after their waiver season and go straight to the E. Burns has had a pretty decent season with Oslo, collecting 23 goals and 51 points, which isn’t too bad considering it’s his rookie season. He’s like a lot of players in this draft, not super big but super strong and not afraid of physicality. His 221 hits and 65 blocked shots help support his fine-tuned two way game, and I’m hoping there’s a Boulet in his future (after Duncan Idaho retires of course). Unfortunately, or fortunately depending how you look at it, I’ll likely be staying down in the E because of my TPE, which gives Burns some time to develop before helping the Legion continue to go for the cup, by providing some forward depth. Paul Atreides will leave a big hole next season, and perhaps Burns can help fill it. I like to compare him to Brendan Gallagher (my favourite Hab) mixed with Cole Caufield. So, like a best of both worlds situation, if you catch my drift.

 

With the tenth overall selection, the HC Davos Dynamo (JFC) are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

 Malum Maellard! 

 

          Malum Maellard had one of the most impressive seasons of all the players in the draft class. He was the front man for a lot of San Diego’s offense during the regular season, collecting 78 points, and was a big part of the Marlins’ almost perfect playoff push (almost). Maellard is another huge, mobile defenceman who has a cannon of a shot and can absolutely punish unsuspecting forwards on the boards. His stickhandling and puck management are exceptional, far above the rest of the class. It’s because of this and his very good skating that Maellard is often seen starting the offense by carrying it out of the zone. He’ll join Davos to complete one of the best defensive cores in the league in a few seasons that includes Siyan Yasilievich, Jake Thunder, David Tavau, and James Teekirque. Davos will surely be a Cup favourite in the short future if Alex does this right (which I have zero doubt he will).

 

With the eleventh overall selection, the Prague Phantoms are proud to select, from the Las Vegas Aces:

Spoiler

 Velociraptor Greg! 

 

          A dinosaur? Eligible for the VHL draft? Nonetheless, a dinosaur from Finland? No matter how intriguing their backstory may be, Velociraptor Greg will be a player to watch in the coming seasons. A 23 goal 85 point season with Las Vegas before leading the Aces to a Founder’s Cup should back that statement up pretty effectively. Greg is a solid all-round defender, but it’s the offense that stands out the most. The Phantoms, who have an aging D core, will be delighted to add this burgeoning Valiq Trophy candidate to their roster in a few seasons to give their contention some more juice. I’m trying to come up with a valid comparison, but how am I able to compare a prehistoric reptile to…a regular player? Let’s just say Greg plays like Roman Josi and leave it at that. It’s pretty apt, I think.

 

With the twelfth overall selection, the Warsaw Predators are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

Molly the Cat! 

 

          Another electric first gen, fantastic! I feel like Molly can jump the line a bit because dlamb himself was once a first gen that got a chance taken on him in the first round, so I feel like making Molly a Predator would be perfect. Speaking of Molly the Cat, what a season! Quickly ascending the TPE ranks, she became the one to watch going into the VHLM playoffs, where she helped San Diego get to the finals with 9 goals and 20 points in 18 games, as a rookie! Clearly there is something of value here, which justifies why I believe Warsaw may have an interest. While Molly isn’t super polished yet, a season in the VHLE would do her good. The scoring is obviously there, and the defensive side is coming. Molly the Cat, who we’ll say plays like Zach Werenski (@fromtheinside is gonna laugh) and has a bright future, with or without the Predators.

 

With the thirteenth overall selection, the Moscow Menace are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

Tyler Busser! 

 

          The Menace, who have a decorated history of excellent drafting (Tomas Sogaard being my most recent example) pick up one of the best pure offensive talents of the draft in the second Busser, Tyler. He’s superb technically in the O zone, and it’s something that will do him good next season in the VHLE. The 6’0 200lbs forward is everything you’d want in a scoring center, and will be a welcome addition to the Menace’s very good forward group in a season or two. His 18 points in 18 games in the postseason helped drive home to scouts that nothing will stop him from getting his name on the board, and I have no doubt this powerful pivot will make strides in the VHL one day. I can liken his game to that of J.T. Miller. 

 

With the fourteenth overall selection, the Helsinki Titans are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

 Fraser Wallace! 

 

          Fraser Wallace is maybe the most complete player in the draft, only rivaled by Napoleon Dynamite in his two-way prowess. His stats might not have popped off the screen as much as some of his San Diego (three in a row now) teammates, but his excellent faceoffs and defensive game allow him to create plays all over the ice, and any team would kill to have a player like him in a do or die situation, traits all akin to Bo Horvat, my comparison for him. He is thrust into a nearly impeccable situation in Helsinki, who added the dynamic P.E. Bouchard to their squad earlier in the night. They finish off their draft with two players to effectively fill two very different roles on their team. A successful night for them, unquestionably.

 

With the fifteenth overall selection, Moscow Menace are proud to select, from San Diego Marlins:

Spoiler

Clueless Wallob! 

 

          Ach, I’m sorry, DMax. There’s no way you should have fallen this far, but I just had trouble finding another team that needed a goalie. I picked the Menace, who could use a worthy successor to Papa Emeritus. If he does happen to be taken this late, it will be the steal of the century, as Wallob has shown signs of greatness with San Diego this season. He was absolutely dominant in the regular season, with an unfathomable 1.69 goals against average. Let’s just say he was not scored on very often. The massive 6’5, 222lbs tendy will have zero difficulty transitioning from the M to his next level. I have a lot of trouble finding goalie comparisons, but it turns out Sabres prospect Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen has an almost identical physical build to Wallob, so let’s leave it there.

 

With the sixteenth overall selection, the Seattle Bears are proud to select, from the San Diego Marlins (wtf 5 Marlins in a row):

Spoiler

 Faith Hope Love! 

 

          Faith Hope Love is an interesting case, to say the least. A depth defenceman on San Diego’s stacked roster, they were shoved under older and more experienced players for most of the season and especially the playoffs, but their 43 points in the former show that there is something there. What we know for sure is that FHL plays a strong defensive game, and is very solid in the hits and blocked shots categories. The reigning Continental Cup champs frankly don’t need much, so they can invest in a safe defensive defenceman in Faith Hope Love to help extend their playoff window. The Ukrainian defenceman’s game can be likened to K’Andre Miller.

 

That concludes my mock draft of the first round! Thanks for reading! (I know you only read for your player/team but it’s ok I know it’s long (that’s what she said))

 

I’d like to formally end my mock draft by stating that I hate Logan Stanley

 

That’s all

 

Mentions: 
 

Spoiler

@Berocka @thadthrasher @Eynhallow @Gaikoku-hito @Gustav @youloser1337 @dogwoodmaple @hedgehog337 @frescoelmo @samx @JCarson @Zack @Hoopydog @DMaximus  @MMFLEX 

Various other players mentioned quickly within the descriptions

 

3295 words 

Should I be impressed with myself or sad that I have no life?

Anyways claiming for 4 weeks

[youloser1337 1,052]

1 hour ago, Ledge said:

I would say a good comparison would be Tony DeAngelo, without ya know, the awful personality stuff, because Loser is great.

[frescoelmo 1,225]

@samx

[Gaikoku-hito 1,706]

Interesting comparison to John Carlson!! Won`t lie I had to look him up since I wasn`t sure who the reference was actually about and now I feel a bit stupid admitting I didn`t know John Carlson. But it is a honor to be compared to him!!

[Beketov 8,666]

I enjoy how you not only did the lottery after it was already run but did it without the odds or the rules haha. You can only drop 1 spot so the furthest LA could drop was 2nd.

 

Maybe you addressed that, I didn’t read it all. I just found it funny.

[Ledge 1,131]

Claiming 2/4

[Ledge 1,131]

Claim 3/4

[Ledge 1,131]

Claim 4/4 

[BOOM 8,445]

Quote

Callum “The Aussie Hammer” Murray