JardyB10 4,834 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 So after having delicious meatballs and perogies for lunch, I went outside to clean up some twine in the cow pasture. My doggy, Marley, came out with me because she's cool like that. So anyway, I'm minding my own business. taking swipes at the ground with my utility knife. It is 2:30 PM. All the sudden, Marley starts going apeshit at some activity on the other side of the pasture. I look over to see all my cows are running from something; a fat motherfucking orange llama. Now, in the almost 20 years I've lived on the farm, I don't even know if I've ever even seen a llama outage, never mind having one right in the gawd damn cow pasture, WHICH IS SURROUNDED BY ELECTRIC FENCE. But here is this fucking llama, chasing my cows around the pasture. So I'm like, "Fuck this llama" and I hop on my quad and chase after it. My hope was that once it saw some guy flipping out and driving towards it with a 500lb pound noisy 4x4 John Deere ass-kicking machine, followed by his joyous yellow dog, that it would be like, "Man. I probably shouldn't be here. This seems dangerous, and very out of my element." This did not happen. Instead it was more like, "I'm gonna chase around these motherfucking cows. Fuck these cows. Oh, what's this? Some lunatic trying to interrupt my cow chasing? Fuck him, I'm chasing these cows as much as I possibly can. Fuck that guy, and fuck these cows." So the llama avoided me altogether, hardly even acknowledging the fact that it could get plowed. So while I go back to the yard to retrieve an ideal beating stick, it continued running after my poor cattle, destroying practically every single fence that is within the pasture. Even after I sent several projectiles at this motherfucking llamas head, it simply did not give a fuck. I've never seen an animal ever so determined to do something so unnecessary, with a complete disregard of the pain it was sustaining while doing so. So to wrap this up quickly, it eventually scared a number of cows to break one section of the fence to exit the pasture, and through random people's fields. So I spent most of the day trying to get a llama to leave my poor moo moos alone, and then had to actually locate where they were all chased to and get them back in. They were super tired, and super rattled, as was I, because I don't know why I didn't just immediately grab a rifle and shoot it in the fucking face. Now six cows are MIA. Quite easily the most catastrophic cow-related incident on our farm ever, and the worst 8 hours I've spent in quite a long time. So yeah, I fucking hate llamas.Seriously man, go fuck yourself. /rant frescoelmo, eaglesfan036, Spade18 and 3 others 3 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahma 1,290 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,549 Posted December 21, 2015 Admin Share Posted December 21, 2015 omg really?!! That is so cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,604 Posted December 21, 2015 Senior Admin Share Posted December 21, 2015 Fuck the llama I hope you find moo moos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,017 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I remember this story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tagger 2,722 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 (edited) And I thought I had a shitty day today when some wanker in the car next to me went straight on in a right-turn only lane and decided to ram the side of my car in the process. Fuck Llamas indeed #Alpacas4Life Edited December 21, 2015 by XaviYEAH! Woods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STZ 5,286 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I actually believe it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesler 1,514 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 story made my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STZ 5,286 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 7 minutes ago, Dewie said: story made my day. go outside then.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smarch 2,945 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I served 1600 people from North Central Regina Christmas supper. My night was way more eventful than yours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,583 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 pics plz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 http://z11.invisionfree.com/vhl/index.php?showtopic=62417&hl= noobs. Phil 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 LOL reading the first 2 lines I knew this was Llama Drama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sterling 1,990 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Should have shot it... Not your fault its on your land Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 4 minutes ago, sterling said: Should have shot it... Not your fault its on your land I didn't really know how at the time. And even if I had, I still probably wouldn't have risked it. It was all up in the cows' grills, missing badly could have been real bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'd like to go on record and note that we haven't owned cows for a couple years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,017 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 " Sweet tits! My mom just texted me and told me the llama was assassinated! Let us all rejoice! TOWEL!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,017 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 " FUCK EVERYTHINGSo apparently my mom neglected to inform me that before the llama passed away, it actually got back into the pasture and fucked up more shit. So now we're missing even more cattle, and I hate everything. GOOD NIGHT! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NobodyElse 4 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 What is this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,425 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Legendary VHL folklore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastOlympian07 2,388 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 i got really sad. I thought @JardyB10 was back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smarch 2,945 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 59 minutes ago, TheLastOlympian07 said: i got really sad. I thought @JardyB10 was back He is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Tortorella 2,653 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 11 hours ago, Smarch said: He is Where Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaviss 4,949 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 7 minutes ago, flyersfan1453 said: Where 13 hours ago, NobodyElse said: What is this? ^ thats Jardy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NobodyElse 4 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 13 hours ago, TheLastOlympian07 said: i got really sad. I thought @JardyB10 was back 42 minutes ago, flyersfan1453 said: Where Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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