Harumpf

Harumpf-3Moons-Klose would be a great line tbh. Obviously Harumpf would be center because of his superior playmaking abilities Good luck in the European Conference this season!

Ready to be graded. Thanks for the questions Phil and Higgins.

Harumpf Reaches 500 TPE! Holds Press Conference to Celebrate! It's okay you can smile now humble Harumpf! Well, the little bulbous bowling ball has hit an important milestone, 500tpe. Not bad for a 5'5" 250 pound guy from Middelfart Denmark. Harumpf is heading into his 3rd season as a pro and remains one of the rays of light for the Helsinki franchise in Season 43. He is now here to answer any questions you might have about him, his play, his team, etc. Ask Away! (Please post questions below, I will answer them by adding to the original post) --- Phil Asks: How hard is it to maintain a positive attitude with such a dismissive and pessimistic name? No not at all, indeed Harumpf is a word used in the all time great movie Blazing Saddles to express displeasure, but it's also a great name for a dwarf, of which Harumpf is the closest we have in the VHL. In fact the best part about my name is when I scored on teams, they can say my name aloud to express their displeasure over me beating them. So it works out pretty well. HARUMPF! When you first started out here, did you ever conceive that you'd reach 500 practice hours? I never thought I'd make it to 100 practice hours, let alone 500. I figured I'd be semi-active and slowly plug away at practice, but being on some active teams helped me continue to improve. I started to have fun and want to make a difference. Winning the cup in Bratislava with that group and winning the Oates Trophy was a big factor in staying motivated. I also had some good feedback on my media and general story-line for Harumpf so I got more into things around here. Who's your favourite teammate? Anyone who's taken you under their wing and been a big influence to you? In junior it was without question Sachimo Zoidberg. We made magic together in S40. In the pros on Helsinki I've had awesome teammates, but I'd have to say Jake Wylde was my biggest influence. He helped me a lot after I was drafted and I wanted to keep working hard so I did not let him down. I think I have done that thus far. Do you have a rival or enemy in the VHL? Nope, everyone loves Harumpf. I've had a friendly back and forth sometimes with Jody 3Moons, we were teammates in Bratislava and he always wanted to be as good as me. He still has some work to do to get there. He's benefited from playing his first 2 seasons with hall of famers so his numbers were a bit inflated. Skill-wise he knows I am the man though. Thanks for the questions Phil! Higgins Asks: How many days straight did you cry when you realized Faraday had been traded away? I cried for 2 straight days. Realizing he had been taken away from me just when we were about to make magic on a line together. I built as a playmaker with the idea of setting Faraday up for goals, then he left me and we will never know what could have been. I cried more for him than myself because I know he wants to be the best scorer in the league and without me he might not get there now. I wish him luck though. He's a great player. What inspires you to be so... nauseating? I can only assume this is in reference to my pants sharting incident of S41 and my cup farting comments in S42. Both of which bring me joy to know I have nauseated you, lol. I have a unique brand of humor and now that I feel more comfortable around here and in the locker room, I'm coming out of my shell a little bit. I try to mention things that I think are funny that others may be nervous to talk about, like sharting themselves, etc. Harumpf's goal is to bring joy and disgust to all those around him. I know you will miss me. As a S40 draftee you have 5 more seasons, do you think you can pass the big 1000 TPE? Oh man, I don't know, that seems like a lot of tpe when I'm only really earning 7 a week, lol. I think I can maybe make 800+ but haven't crunched the numbers. I'll always max out my tpe every week with radio and media spots along with the occasional fantasy tpe, so if that puts me in line for 1000tpe then I think maybe I could get there. 800-900 seems more realistic though. I definitely have no plan of slowing down. -Thanks for the questions Higgins! Don't miss me too bad. [780 Words]

Muete Dynamo Vikings Express

3-2 Helsinki

No no, it's not what you are thinking, pervs. Oskars Harumpf took his newest teammate Penis Hudson out on the town! That subject heading was just too good not to use. Anyway, everyone's favorite 5'5" 250 pound superstar Oskars Harumpf was a good assistant captain and took Penis out to show him the sites in Helsinki and grab a few drinks. The hope was to make Penis feel comfortable in a big wide new city. However, when Harumpf when to pick up Penis, he was laying on his couch looking scared and his enthusiasm was somewhat flacid. Penis was refusing to get up, so Harumpf had to yell at him "Penis stand up!" Still Penis would not move, so Harumpf had to slap him around a bit to get him going, finally Penis stood up and was ready to go. Harumpf and Penis then went out to a bar and as soon as Penis walked in all the women noticed him, something about him just seemed to peak their interest. Penis ordered a drink and was now looking more confident, a woman came over and patted Penis asking him his name. He said "my name is Penis Hudson, what's yours?" The woman said "I am Lotta Vagina, when I saw you I instantly felt like we could have a connection." Upon hearing this Penis was now swelling with pride and the two of them quickly left the bar together. Harumpf was left all alone after Penis abandonded him, but he was happy to see Penis and his new friend Vagina get together. It seemed like they were really going to hit it off.

Player Name: Oskars Harumpf VHL Team: Helsinki Titans Cash you have: $5,500,000 Purchase Name: VHL.com/Radio Upgrade Cost of Purchase: $2,000,000 Cash Left: $3,5000,000 Player Name: Oskars Harumpf VHL Team: Helsinki Titans Cash you have: $3,500,000 Purchase Name: Point Task Upgrade Cost of Purchase: $2,000,000 Cash Left: $1,500,000

Lonely Times After Helsinki Cleans House Oskars Harumpf shell shocked to learn many of his friends were traded. Well Oskars Harumpf got back from his off-season vacation in Middelfart Denmark to find that Helsinki cleaned house and he is one of only a few veteran players left on the team. The great players he looked up to in his first 2 seasons as a pro are now gone. Jake Wylde, James Faraday and Jackson Miller have all been traded along with rookie Patrick Demko. Harumpf had no idea any of this was coming and in fact he was really looking forward to finally getting to center Faraday and Miller on the top line, but now things have changed and Harumpf will have to roll with it. The trade of Jake Wylde was possibly the hardest for Harumpf to deal with as Wylde is the reason Harumpf wanted to play for Helsinki and the two are good friends. I'm sure Harumpf will be fine, but it's never fun to see a good friend traded. That being said, Harumpf leadership on the team will be needed now more than ever and he must remain focused and be a good role model for all the young players the Titans will have coming in over the next couple seasons. They got a ton of high picks back in those trades, so the future is looking bright. The silver lining here is that Tyson Stokes, Don Draper and Mike Statkowski jr were not traded, so Harumpf at least still has some familiar faces on the team, but then again we have no idea if Helsinki has more trades up their sleeve or not. Looking at the roster it's hard to imagine Helsinki being able to send out 2 lines of forwards and 2 pairs of defenseman. Obviously everyone will get a ton of icetime this year as the team is now in full rebuild mode. Harumpf is fine with that, he definitely was hoping to win a championship in the next couple seasons, but now it looks like he will have to wait on that for at least 2 seasons, probably more. Ultimately he understands this is a business and management is doing what they feel is best for the future of the organization. Harumpf is now here to say a few words to his former teammates, Jake Wylde: Thanks for drafting me to Helsinki and helping me get started in the league, it was a lot of fun to be on a team with you and in the locker room. You are an amazing player and definitely have left your mark on the Helsinki Titans franchise. I wish we could have played longer together and won a cup or two with the Titans, but I wish you the best of luck on the next chapter of your career. James Faraday: We got to play together a little bit last season and had good chemistry, I think we could have been great together this year and beyond, I will miss setting you up for goals. You've been a great teammate and thanks for all the fun you provided in the locker room and I hope I made a lasting impression on you with some of my own locker room antics. Best of luck on your new team. Jackson Miller: We never got to play on a line together, but I had high hopes for us this season and think we would have been great together. You've been an awesome teammate as well and thanks for helping me out when I was getting started. I wish you good luck in the future. Patrick Demko: I was excited for your player to come up this year and be a Titan, you have a lot of potential and I know you'll do great on your new team. Keep working hard and best of luck. Harumpf now looks to season 43 with a different mind set than he had just 1 week ago, but he remains positive and focused on trying to help Helsinki win as many games as possible this season. He knows he'll be looked to as a leader and leaned on heavily to provide offense. His short legs will be carrying the load this season and if anyone is built to do that, it's 5'5" 250 pound Oskars Harumpf. [500+ Words]

lol, be sure not to let him claim the locker next to yours, his hockey bag is unbearable.

I know lol, just giving my former junior teammate a hard time.

3 Moons in the European Conference? Looks like my face off winning % will be going up!

After an exciting season in Helsinki, Oskars Harumpf has returned home to Middelfart Denmark to spend time with his family for a couple weeks during the off-season. He's looking forward to some quality time with his extended family and relaxing in the Middelfart countryside. Middelfart is a beautiful little town in Denmark with a nice relaxed vibe. Harumpf always feels refreshed when he's able to just kick back, blow some farts and let things be. His homecoming has to be kept a secret though, otherwise he won't get any free time. He's such a huge star now that the local Middelfartians would be all over him. Everyone in Middelfart loves Harumpf, he has become the pride of the town, if they knew he was home they'd throw a parade and he'd be partying for days. Harumpf loves his hometown and his fans fellow Middelfartians but only being home for a couple weeks, he wants to unwind and relax after a long season. He has told us that when he wins the cup (most likely in S43) that he will bring the cup to Middelfart and let everyone fart in it. These will obviously be cup farts. If you don't know what that is, then consider yourself lucky. Or go grab a cup, fart into it, put your hand over the top real quick and go open it in someone's face. These are the little tricks you learn when you grow up in Middelfart.

Harumpf's Outlook on Season 43 Oskars Harumpf is ready to take on a larger role for Helsinki this season. Heading into his 3rd year as a pro, Helsinki Titans center Oskars Harumpf is in line to take over the #1 Center position for Helsinki in S43 after the departure of the great Naomi Young. Harumpf has been working hard since his days in junior and has played well in his first 2 seasons in the pros, increasing his point totals each season. He's now primed and ready take do what he was always meant to do, be a top playmaking center for a VHL team. Harumpf played well on the 2nd line last season with Stokes and at times Faraday and he also performed well on the 2nd power play unit, but now it's time for Harumpf to go head to head with the top players and lines in the league. He's got the talent and work ethic to really have a big year and help Helsinki get to the finals. After signing a new contract with Helsinki he's ready and excited to be their #1 Center for the foreseeable future. Here's Oskars Harumpf for an interview, So Oskars, how does it feel to re-sign with Helsinki? It feels great, I really have enjoyed playing for the Titans and have made some good friends on the team. We have a great group of players and are all committed to winning the cup. As one of the team captains I think it was never in doubt that I'd be returning and I'm looking forward to season 43. What kind of year do you think you will have stats-wise? Well I'm mainly concerned about wins, stats don't matter to me as long as we win games. That being said, I would like to improve on last season and keep getting better. I am hoping to set up as many goals as possible for my line mates this season. I'd love to finish above a point per game and have most of those points be assists. Then I know I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. Does Helsinki have a real chance to win the cup? Come over here so I can slap you! Yes of course we do. We may have lost a player or two since last season but everyone we have coming back is much improved, plus we have some young guys ready to make the jump into the pros so they should give our depth a nice boost. I think without question we can make it to the finals and win the cup. In fact, it's all I think about. Who do you think you'll line up with on the top line this season? Honestly I am not sure yet, we have some options. I've played well with both Stokes and Faraday in the past so I think one of them will be up there with me for sure, maybe both, but if not then perhaps Jackson Miller. We have some good options in Helsinki for wingers and I'll be happy to set up goals for whoever I play with. Well thanks Harumpf, we appreciate you joining us, good luck this season. Thanks for having me. [500+] (Media Spot for week of 4/13-4/19)

Oskars Harumpf is blaming himself for Helsinki's loss to Cologne in 7 games of the playoffs. Many have said it's not Harumpf's fault and he played great, but Oskars himself feels he could be to blame. If he was only a couple inches taller maybe he would have been able to reach a loose puck or get a stick on a deflection or bang in a rebound. 2 inches can be a lot, just ask Jody 3Moons, he'd give anything for another 2 inches. Do with that comment what you will. In terms of Harumpf though his height has come into question here. Standing just 5'5"tall he may have to use a longer stick next season or in pre-season and see if that makes a difference. Harumpf played well in the playoffs as a sophomore and even had a game winner as well as a 3 point game, but he was not able to put Helsinki on his back and get they that game 7 win. He may or may not visit a stretching therapist in the off-season and try to make it to 5'6" but it remains to be seen. We think he is perfect just the way he is and he's just being hard on himself. His 250 pound bulbous physique is what makes him so special and he should be in line for an even better season in S43.

This point task closes upon the completion of game 3 of the series, no excuses. Pick the winner, all three correct will earn 1 TPE (N/A is an answer here) Game 5: @ - Muete Game 6: @ - Muete Game 7: @ - N/A Predict the score, Correctly predict the score and winner for 3 TPE Game 5: @ - 4-3 Muete Predict the leading point earner of the series for 1 TPE Travis Boychuk Predict the leading penalty minutes earner for 1 TPE Koji Yamazaki Predict the leading special teams goals earner for 1 TPE Aksel Thomassen

Congrats Express. Good series, good luck in the finals.

Harumpf'd!!!!

User Name: Harumpf Cup Winner: NY Rangers EASTERN CONFERENCE (A1) Montreal vs (W1) Ottawa Winner: MTL # of Games: 7 (A2) Tampa Bay vs (A3) Detroit Winner: TB # of Games: 6 (M1) New York Rangers vs (W2) Pittsburgh Winner: NY Rangers # of Games: 7 (M2) Washington vs (M3) New York Islanders Winner: WASH # of Games: 6 WESTERN CONFERENCE (C1) St. Louis vs (W1) Minnesota Winner: STL # of Games: 5 (C2) Nashville vs (C3) Chicago Winner: Chicago # of Games: 6 (P1) Anaheim vs (W2) Winnipeg Winner: ANA # of Games: 5 (P2) Vancouver vs (3) Calgary Winner: CGY # of Games: 7

...OF FORCING GAME 7!!! James Faraday celebrates his clutch overtime goal in game 5 to keep Helsinki alive. The Helsinki Titans just had a gutsy performance in game 5 to come back in the series and win their second game after falling down 3-1 to Cologne. They played much better in game 5 than they had all series and came away with a clutch victory on a Faraday's overtime goal. The dude is just clutch and we can't say we're surprised it was Faraday netting the game winner. Surprisingly it did not come off a pass from Oskars Harumpf, but it was Naomi Young and Don Draper setting up the goal to keep Helsinki's season alive. Now it's on to game 6 where the Titans will look for have another big performance and another here will emerge if they can win and force game 7. Let's look at how we got to this point. Game 1: This was a tight game and Helsinki played well, outshooting Cologne 26-22, but amazingly they were shutout 2-0. It's safe to say everyone was shocked by this score, especially when you consider Helsinki threw 23 hits to Cologne's measly 11. By all rights Helsinki should have won this game but Cologne goalie Martin Brookside stood on his head. Game 2: Harumpf Time! Again the Titans outshot Cologne and it wasn't even close, outshooting them 34-15, but there were no goals until the 3rd period when superball Oskars Harumpf scored his 1st of the playoffs and it turned out to be a game winner as Helsinki came away with a 2-0 victory. A dominant performance by the Titans. Game 3: Finally the Express actually played well, outshooting Helsinki 40-23 in their home arena and coming away with a close 3-2 victory to take a lead in the series. Robin Gow had a big performance for the Express coming away with 15 shots and 2 goals. Game 4: Probably the best game of the series so far with it going to overtime and the teams being close in shots 27-26 in favor of Helsinki. This one turned out to be a heart breaker for the Titans as they lost in overtime when Ron World Peace scored on the power play. Helsinki dropped two 1 goal games in Cologne and now was down 3-1 in the series. Game 5: Back home for Helsinki facing elimination and they really stepped up their game, outshooting Cologne 35-19. This one also went to overtime though but Helsinki won on a clutch goal by superstar James Faraday to keep the Titans season alive and force a game 6. Now heading into game 6, Helsinki has outshot Cologne 4 out of 5 games and they are easily capable of doing it again in game 6. If they can keep getting shots on Brookside and create some traffic they should be able to come away with a win in game 6 and force game 7! It's going to be exciting and this series definitely has been a great one. [500+] Media Spot for week of 4/6-4/12

It's that time of the playoffs, when Oskars Harumpf does his best work, crunch time. Helsinki is currently down in the semi-finals 3-2 to Cologne, which we agree is somewhat infathomable, but its happened. It's time for Haurmpf to step up and will this team to victory. He'll do whatever he needs to do to help the team win game 6. If he needs to shart his pants again and screen the goalie to the odorous fumes cause him to have double vision, he'll do it. If he needs to put someone through the glass with a superman check where he leaves his feet and throws his 250 pounds into them from 50 feet away, he'll do it. If he needs to dangle around everyone on the ice and bury a game winner he'll do it. If he needs to set up the game winner with a saucer pass over 3 diving defenders onto someone's tape he'll do it. Harumpf wants this win and will do whatever he needs to in order to ensure Helsinki forces a game 7. Once in game 7 we know anything can happen. Don't count Harumpf and the Titans out just yet.

Go Titans!

Faraday clutch!

Time for epic Helsinki comback!!!

Harumpf scored!