bigAL

YOOOO I CAN DO THAT DATE AND TIME!!!

The VHLM was never meant for teams to rely on players for more then one or two seasons though, it's not for Max earners to stick around, it's about bringing in the recruits and getting them ready but also not overwhelming them with 300+ tpe players that would end up ruining the experience on its own. 

Wow, it's December already. Wild eh?
 
For those that are new here, Christmas is a special time at the VHL. There's lots of fun games and uncapped opportunities floating around, but what really makes it special are the good deeds we do for others. 
 
Last year, our VHL Holiday Bonanza was a biggie. My favourite part of that was the Charity Auction, and that's going to start right now. Take a look at last year's sub-forum to get an idea of what that's all about. Essentially, members offer up whatever they can or want to offer to others, and the rest of us bet real world money (okay, just Canadian dollars, but still). The highest bid at the end of the week, wins! 
 
In this thread, please post your suggestions for both charities to donate to and things you're willing to auction off.
 
Charities:
- Broader is better. We're a highly diverse community, and so donating to the Oshawa SPCA is less meaningful to everyone than an organization that's Canada or US wide.

- Timeliness is nice. There's a lot of shit happening in the world right this second, so something relevant to this day and time is meaningful.

- Geography doesn't (really) matter. Last year, we aimed for one charity in Canada and another in the US. Share whatever you think we should donate to, regardless of where it is.

- There's no bad ideas in brainstorming, but the staff team will have the final say on which we choose.
 
Auction items:
- We had an awesomely creative auction last year, check out the subforum for ideas for this year. It's okay to repeat things.

- Staff will have the final say on which volunteered items make it to the auction. We will not select things like muting poor @Dil for the rest of his life. Could you imagine if he didn't take that like a champ and disappeared forever? I wouldn't blame him.

- As always, everything must be SFW.
 
Donations:
- When you bid on an auction item, you are agreeing to pay that amount in full.
 
- You can donate to the League (which will forward it onto our chosen charity) OR you can donate to a charity of your choosing, and post the receipt as proof.
 
- @Beketov had a great idea: one place that's very in need around this time of year is the blood banks. If you donate blood, you will get up to $10 in donation credit. 
 
Other Holiday events:
Last year was wild, there was so much going on. Big ups to our man @Quik for putting that together. 
 
One highlight last year was the Marbles, Trivia, and Fundraising Twitch Stream run by our very own streammaster@Esso2264 . He's generously agreed to donate his time again for an evening of good fun and fundraising. We'll finalize details closer to the date, but we're planning around the weekend of December 18/19.
 
Once we get the items for the charity auction sorted, we'll set fundraising goals and share the corresponding rewards for hitting each goal. 
 
So, happy holidays! I know we're smack-dab in the middle of Hanukkah, Christmas is right around the corner, Winter Solstice is coming up, it's an exciting time. This month, more than ever, we need something to celebrate.
 
edit: yeah, y’know what? This is worth a @Members tag. 

Hello, Hello!
 
Forget the Hungarian, you need more 🇦🇺
 
Love you Al
 
Can't you tell that Berocka is still AGM? Davos is a bit poop.
 
Yes, I'm also interested in how long Eno will spend in VHL prison.
 
Random suggestion drive stuff...
 
I saw the name theft but didn't consider it a power move. Besides, you overestimate my standing in the VHL.
 
Even I think Aussie slang is weird. 
 
Thank god for Jardy reviving the podcast game.
 
RIP Cricket sim
 

 
New listeners? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
 
Berocka talking about numbers...struggling to stay awake......
 
There's a podcast community? Nerds!
 
What if I submitted a tournament entry? Hmmmmm
 
How dare you say I'm not listening, Al.
 
Thank fuck you found the Alcoholic Bundy yourself. I was going to have to sell a kidney to pay for shipping.
 
You ruined my fucking Power Move.
 

 
Onto plan B.
 
Bye guys.
 
 
 
 

The ugh reaction doesn’t capture how I feel so,
 
UGH. 

@bigAL & @dasboot
 
I told you

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED*
 
The Best people here just shooting the shit.
 
https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--Episode-10-With-Special-Guests--Pt--2-e1bd52s
 
EDIT - Song used in Podcast: Bottles Into Money - My Son the Hurricane
 
On today's podcast that we recorded on Thursday, December 2, 2021, I have a sensual video chat with Commissioner @bigAL in his first ever podcast in forever. Way before he recorded with Australians or himself or any of those other losers.
 
In this episode, we discuss:
- VHL origin stories
- The ups and downs of being Commissioner
- Stories from The Good Old Days™ (the league almost dying, Thunderdome origins)
- The VHLE! ~HOT TOPIC~
- What the VHLM is really about, man. *TOP TIER DISCUSSION!* Fast forward to this section if nothing else, it's a long and juicy one! (0:49:00ish - 1:14:10)
- The Annual VHL Christmas Charity Auction - You can skip this if you want because I give away what I'd least like to eat for my auction item (1:14:14 - 1:35:00 ish)
- I incorrectly state I can post this podcast before the Aussies did and other bullshitting.
 
Drink every time I say "like" as a filler word.
 
Mentions:
@Berocka  @Arce @Da Trifecta @fishy @Dil @tfong @Victor @Zero @GustavMattias @Banackock @FrostBeard @BladeMaiden @Alex_J32 @Minion @GrittyIsKing09 @Peace
 
Passing Mentions:
@OrbitingDeath @jasplunds @Morcar80 @Beaviss @Beketov @InstantRockstar @Advantage @N0HBDY @Quik @samx

Personally, I'm with Gus and FTI - it's super important to be able to justify your votes, that extra layer of accountability forces you to think deeper and more seriously when you're voting. As a whole BoG though, I do see all the pitfalls and dangers with releasing ballots and names. I always like to believe the best of people, but we know it'll be an utter shitshow if we release awards votings.
 
So what about a compromise? FTI, Gus, ADV, someone who does feel comfortable sharing their ballot could do so on behalf of the whole BoG. Scotty can write one of his famously in-depth articles about how he voted Duncan Idaho for the Boulet for these reasons, and the arguments against Idaho from the other voters were those reasons. It'd provide just a peek into the discussion around award, which is really all we want to give away. People genuinely think we're either a) a cabal bent on upending democracy and giving all the awards to blues (Dood deserved Boulet last season!!11!1!!) or, b) a completely disengaged and incompetent electorate that doesn't put any thought or energy into awards voting. Sharing a ballot or two WITH some analysis of the general BoG discussions would be the perfect level of sharing I think.

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

There’s lots of threads to tug on in this thread, but it’s late and I’ve got time and brains for one. This is the most important one. 
 
As I discuss in detail on Jardy’s Hecking Podcast (if he ever publishes it) VHLM GM is the most important job in the league. They’re the welcoming committee, the mentors, the people who set the tone for the culture of the place, and the ones who convince (or don’t) first gens to stay. This is a hefty responsibility, and I don’t think GMs or hiring committees have distilled the job down to this yet.
 
We need a new VHLM GM job description and a hiring philosophy that closer represents the actual job, it’s importance in our overall structure, and the people we want in place. This is not an entry level job. This is not a stepping stone to the VHL. This is so little about building a successful simulation hockey team. The VHLM GM and VHL GM talent pool are should be a Venn diagram with a handful of super active VHL/E GMs in the centre. 
 
We need our people in charge in the M. Yeah yeah, old boys club, blah blah blah. Again, I hate the old boys club nonsense even beyond its terribly gendered name, but it’s just the perfect, succinct, so-VHL word to explain the experienced, wise, not-always-recreated-but-usually manager. So, too bad to the h8rz, but it’s the “OBC” who keeps this place going. It’s the OBC who understands what the CoC is, how it’s implemented, and why it’s so important. It’s the OBC who have had one or three players already and know what a good LR does and what a bad LR does. It’s the OBC who can explain the intricacies of STSH to new members. It’s the OBC that know how to effectively earn, what the point task options are, and how to nurture skill building and passion in the earning plans for new members. It’s the OBC who know how important the VHLE is and can steer new members towards a positive attitude regarding our key recent changes. If we want first gens to become old members, we need old members to teach them how.

VHL GMs are hockey franchise managers; VHLM GMs are real-human-being managers, and we need to a) explicitly start hiring them to that job, and b) do quality control slash league support when they are struggling to fulfill their roles. I think if we clearly explain the difference between the VHLM GM job and the entry-level-STHS VHLE GM job, we’d have different people applying for each. 
 
 

Dang ok.

December to March is the prime podcasting season for our boi bigAL, and one quick look at the calendar says it's time to get talking again.
 
None of my podcast appearances have published yet, so I need to do my own point task for this week. Here's 30 mins of updates around the league, including:
 
- The Podcasting Tournament (courtesy of my humble hero Berocka)
- The Moderation Quality Control Assessement (courtesy of my intellectual idol Gustav)
- The Recruit & Retain Reassessment (courtesy of my big brained brother Alex_J)
- The Holiday Charity Auction 
 
Not tagging people cause shrug emoji
 
Someone should learn how to make a spotify playlist that auto adds episodes from all our different feeds.
 
Sziastok, hallo!
 
https://anchor.fm/bigal4/episodes/Its-podcasting-season--baby-e1b91sb 

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

Per @Dom, 3PPAO will auction off the right to select the most coveted of podcast spots: the tier list.

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

I know, the title probably made you think, "Oh boy, what happened now..." but it's not like that. It's worse.
 
You see, I do actually owe @samx a deep and sincere apology, and I made a promise that it would happen. As a condition of this trade I promised to publicly apologize to Sam for something that I had said. Now that the trade has gone through it's time for me to fulfill my end of the deal. After all, I am a man of my word.
 
The Backstory:
It was a cool Wednesday night. A night filled with pain and discomfort. Nothing would help the pain subside, and I felt stuck. I felt as if I was never going to be without pain again. For as of that Wednesday morning, I began my Invisalign treatment. In case you haven't seen my incredibly wonderful face before, I have some pretty messed up teeth. Ever since I was a young boy I wanted to fix them, but when you grow up poor you don't get that luxury. But, now as a big boy with a big boy job, I can.
 
The day started off with excitement. The tightness of the trays on my teeth weren't too bad at first, but boy did that pain escalate. It went from a small pressure, to a little discomfort, to me having a massive headache. It was a progression of chaos that no one could stop, and unfortunately, I lashed out. Not only did I lash out, but Sam was the unfortunate soul who was at the tail end of my aggression. 
 
I had entered into my locker room on Discord on Wednesday, November 24th, 2021. My faithful and trusty AGM, Jarl Kisslinger @Kisslinger had been chatting away, keeping our locker room activity going. I, in pain yet excited, announced that I had submitted lines. Now, I don't remember exactly what Sam had said in response to my statement, but whatever it was set me off. Something inside of me snapped. I could hear nothing but a loud ringing in my ear, my vision went red, and I typed out my response. At first it was nothing at all, just a statement of surprise. But, then the boil over happened and I said something that was deeply hurtful. That is why this apology is happening.
 
I do want to warn you that what you are about to read may be offensive...
 
The Hurtful Thing:
 
The Apology:
I don't know about the rest of you who are reading this, but I know that we all have moments where we regret the things we say. We have a momentary lapse in judgment and it's like the flood gate of awful and terrible things in our minds come pouring out in a rolling river of daggers aimed at the hearts of the people around us. As you can see, I attacked not only Sam, but something that she holds near and dear to her heart...
 
 
Now that I have laid the evidence before you, I would like to take this time to say this.
 
Sam, from the bottom of my heart... no, the very core of my being, I...am...sorry. What I said to you was uncalled for, mean spirited, and just down right bad.
 
Allow me a moment to express my apology in the form of a poem.
 
Apologies
There's never been a time like this
where the words of my mouth came with such a hiss.
They lashed out poorly and made you weep.
And now my sorrow is stupid deep.
 
The depth of sorrow that I feel,
is enough to make a grown man keel.
And although this pain is great in my chest,
I know you feel it more than the rest.
 
But, what else could I say to one I've hurt,
"I'm sorry, forgive me," well that just won't work.
You see, these words are boring and over used,
and frankly, I'm sure, you're unamused.
 
Fret not my friend, there's more to say,
my hope is that soon we'll return to play.
I wished a curse upon your tongue,
and I realize now that was the lowest on the rung.
 
Well here I stand in confidence to say,
that I wish nuggets would surround you each and every day.
May they always be warm and with a breading so light,
that each bite you take fills you with joyful delight.
 
Let the dip that you use add flavor so full,
and may the taste be as bold as a raging bull.
With each bud on your tongue shall you taste every piece,
and with this poem here now may our fighting cease.
 
Your love of nuggets rivals most marriages,
and they pull you along like horses with carriages.
May this apology find you well and fill up your heart,
for I hope you and nuggets are never apart.
 
----
816 words, Claiming week ending 12 December 2021
*this was clearly us joking around*
 
 

The only issue is my name under media spots should also be podcasts. A guest on either one  

@bigAL you missed my Clue based endorsement campaign. Can file it under GFX. I'm thinking 3 Clue themed graphics of the bidder's player becoming a corporate shill for Clue Glue™

ehhhh...I don't remember mentioning this, I'll stick with Ledge 😁

Just a clarification on this. My league ends next week. You would be voting for the new name when it starts back up in  February.

Hit play and walk away. We get the play numbers and you save your brain cells. Win win.

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

Here's the compiled list of everyone who put forth a (serious) offer to the Holiday Charity Auction.
 
If you don't want to do it anymore, please comment in this thread. No hard feelings if you don't, especially for something that's jam packed like gfx.
 
Graphics:
 @OrbitingDeath @Ricer13 @STZ @solas @InstantRockstar @GrittyIsKing09  
Media Spots:
@FrostBeard @Doomsday @Ledge @Alex_J32 (VSN) @Ricer13  
Discord/Forum name changes:
@Dom @Beaviss @Dil @Ricer13 @Ledge  
Podcasts:
@Berocka @JardyB10 @bigAL (intros)  
Misc:
TPE Visualizer @MubbleFubbles TPA dump @Horcrux Farm tour (and name a cow???) @MexicanCow123 League skins @tfong Cooking stream @Beaviss Cooking stream @JardyB10 Steam Stream @Beaviss Steam Stream @JardyB10 UFC 4 Tournament @Dom Name my next player @Vice Portuguese classes @Thunfish Bowling team name @youloser1337  
Auction will go live next week!

TPE IS ACTUALLY BAD and I say that both because of this guy and because I wasn't the highest TPE earner in my class ugh