eaglesfan036

Woot 1 tpe

I hate hardyb and jiggins

There was also a time kesler was a vhlm gm and traded a 2nd round pick for a 0 tpe inactive

lol I replied to a lot of his offers with "no" as well

im sorry its not working out

not having fun gming?

Interesting article. Im debating getting back in the gm game again to compete against these old farts

One time I was pretty drunk with a friend at a Target buying Risk (and no, we never finished playing the whole game). This little mexican 5-7 year old with a mohawk, was being an insufferable little shit in the action figure section. I heard him from like 5 aisles over and it was like nails on a chalkboard. I tell my friend, "I'm gonna fart on this kids head. Watch and learn." I saunter on over to the aisle in question and see the vile little prick calling his mom an "idiot" for not buying him a huge fucking G.I. JOE The Movie vehicle (which pissed me off even more considering how awful that movie was. BUY SOME GOOD TOYS!) "I already bought that one for you and you broke it by throwing it down the stairs" "SHUT UP. I NEED IT. IT'S THE ONLY ONE I DON'T HAVE NOW." The mother was younger than me (I'm mid twenties) and gave a defeated look, "I don't have enough money right now." "YOU ARE AN IDIOT," and continued to just berate and publicly shame this woman. At the time, I was on a strict Chipotle carnitas burrito diet. And while I was watching all this, my stomach gave me an initial warning gurgle (very courteous stomach) telling me I was about an hour away from punishing the toilet. Serendipity! Destiny! I inch a bit closer to my prey, inspecting some wrestling toys and pondering the weird homoeroticness of the whole 'sport' in general. The kid shouts "FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU!" The mom rolls her eyes and turns her back to the kid to ignore him. And could you believe it, the kid gets on his hands and knees and starts taking the toy out of the box. It's go time, motherfucker. I position my back towards him and at this point am like 2 feet away from him. His head is down, getting frustrated with those god damn twisty tie things, and I go for the kill. I bend down to reach for the one of the toys on the lower shelf. At this point, my ass is INCHES away from this kids head. Now, generally speaking, the best way to go about this is to act casual, drop your belly bomb, then walk away after a few seconds like nothing is out of the ordinary. I usually go one aisle over and listen to the kid's reaction in delight. However, today I couldn't help myself. I have my head tilted back looking at this kid out of the corner of my eye, to ensure accuracy. I'm so close that from a distance it looks like I'm about to sit on him,. My friend sees this happening and can no longer contain himself. He's covering his mouth, but his 'hee-haw' hyperventilating donkey chortle is fairly audible over the late 90's pop muzak playing on the loudspeakers. The kid immediately looks up towards the laughter, but can't help but notice there is an ass now directly in his face. Now, I'm trying not to laugh but also panicking as I just made eye contact with him. He furls his brow and I look over in the mother's direction, still back towards us. I relish in the moment and the look on this child's confused and naive face. The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn't wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it "a very fun fart" (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart's implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward...and forward would mean certain death. I had positioned myself well on the higher ground, free to escape or relent at any time and him, poor and immobilized: biding his time until the cruel attack was over. Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu. In total, it lasted about 4 seconds but for that kid, it must have seemed like time was frozen. The long-term severe brain damage which he no doubt suffered, only added to that effect. When finished with my bidness (i.e. forcing a little boy to huff my farts), there was a silent, pregnant pause. The kid was clearly shocked and stunned. No one had ever stood up to this dwarf sociopath in his whole life. I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart. I make my move first, picking up the toy I was "reaching for" off the low shelf, take a few steps forward and stare at it for a few seconds. On '2 alligator,' the only thing the kid could manage to do was burst into tears. My friend senses danger 'the jig is up' and his head darts for cover. The mom turns around to see her kid with an open toy, crying on the floor and me minding my own business. She walks up to him and asks what's wrong but the kid can't speak. All he gets out is, "BAWAWAAAWAFARTBAWAWA." It took every fiber in my body not to laugh. I put the toy back on a middle shelf, turn around, give a final nonchalant looksy and then begin to take my exit. Sensing that his assailant was getting away scot-free, he somehow managed to compose himself for a moment. He shouts, "HE FARTED ON ME!" I could feel him pointing at me but I continued to act like I was just browsing. I was ALMOST around the corner when the mom goes: "Excuse me....sir....SIR!" I turn around nonplussed, "Uh...who? Me?" while pointing to myself. "Yes. Did YOU just FART on my son?" Weighing my options, I played dumb. "What? I mean, I did fart." "On my son?" "Well, I mean, technically speaking...I mean...what is 'on'?" "Why did you fart on my son?" At this point the little kid has the look of schadenfreude on his face, happy to see me in trouble. Fuck you, I'M A MAN! I WILL FART ON YOU IF I PLEASE! I turn my attention to the little kid and stare at him, "Because the whole store could hear him being a little, rotten asshole to his mother so I thought I'd come over here and treat him like one." The mom looks at me, her son and the scattered GI JOE/wrappers/box on the floor. The mom is puzzled as to what to do and says, "Just..just go." That's my cue! I turn around, walk away with little extra step. I look up to see the black orb of security cameras and all the stories on reddit about unjustly having to register as a sex offender flash before my eyes. As soon as I turn the corner, I book it outside as fast as I can while dialing my friend. Like a true friend, he is right out front with the engine running and Risk in the trunk. We laugh on the car ride back about the whole scene. With a slight hint of seriousness in his tone, my friend asks me: "Do you do that a lot?" "Ahhh, not that much. Like once every 6 months or so." We both knew I was lying. We got to our other friends house, played risk until 4 in the morning while drinking scotch. Overall, I would say it was a preeeetay preeeeetay good day.

College is keeping me moderately busy, but nothing crazy. It's more that I've just lost motivation to be on here as much as I used to

si

lol

lol wrangs gon wrang

void this for the entertainment imo

wow massive VHLM trade i like it

blockbuster

congrats @hedgehog337, great enthusiastic guy!

Post

Of course we're all grateful for the work you've put into the league, I'm not sure how you thought otherwise. It's just that almost every change brought up in the BOG you have been against. This is one that the majority of the league agrees with. I was against project player 2 but that hasn't made me leave the league. This is similiar

I don't think it has anything to do with you. Sterling doesn't react well anytime a proposal is brought up in the BOG that involves change

congrats @DollarAndADream you got the activity part down, and you seem like a smart guy so I think you'll be a great GM!

good decision all hail blue team

His past few years have been "off years"

Claude Giroux has fallen off a cliff and he is only 29

clearly the reason they have better retention then us is their democratic federalistic people's republic of SHL, so we need to counter them with our own constitution!

It may have taken a while, but the smoke is turning black at SHL headquarters. In replacing Bojo, the process was not simply determining who will replace him, but how the head office will run. Ultimately, it was decided to go with the following proposal written by prettyburn based upon discussion held with the head office.ElectionsHead Office elections will happen every season, mid-season, starting in S34. Every season, one spot from the Eastern and one spot from the Western conference can be voted on. For the first few seasons, term lengths will be determined based on which HO members had the highest votes in their initial election - this means that RomanesEuntDomus and Jumpier Pegasus will be up for election in S34, Pandar and belgarat in S35 and prettyburn and CRUTCHFIELD in S36. Elections will be held around the time of the trade deadline, so that succession plans are in place before the offseason - the old HO members will continue acting through end of the playoffs, with the new HO members joining in HO discussions but not as acting members until the beginning of the offseason when the old members leave. Elections will be run and overseen by Owners. Owners reserve the right to veto an elected candidate if necessary.Terms and LimitsHead Office members will have three season terms, and can only run for two terms in succession. They may run for Head Office again after one season.CommissionerThe Head Office will elect one Commissioner from their ranks who will be an active member of Head Office, but will have the extra task of overseeing the HO as well as the league and helping to ensure things run smoothly. The Commissioner can come from either league. The Commissioner will be a seventh member of Head Office, to ensure that votes do not end in ties.The Commissioner, once elected, will have a three season term in their position. Like any HO member, they can run for HO again at the end of their term, but may only serve on HO for two consecutive terms. When a Commissioner's term is up or the old Commissioner steps down, the new Commissioner will be chosen after that season's elections.When the Commissioner is chosen, another member of the SHL will be brought onto the HO to ensure that there is an even balance of East and West for the non-Commissioner spot. Depending on the results of the HO election that just happened, they may be the second most vote getter in their conference, or an extra election may be necessary. They will assume the Chairman's old HO term limit while the Chairman will have a new 3 season term.Replacing a Member of HOIn the case that a member of the Head Office is not acting as a productive member of the team, the other members of Head Office may vote to remove them. This vote requires 4 members of HO plus the Commissioner, or all 6 regular members of HO, and must be approved by Ownership.When a member of HO is removed, or voluntarily steps down, they will be replaced either with an emergency election or at the next regularly scheduled election, at the remaining HO's discretion. If multiple seats are open in an election in a single conference, the top vote-getter in that conference will get the seat with the longer term limit.A member of HO who is removed or steps down voluntarily may not run for HO until the following season.VetoThe owners hold the right to veto an appointment to the head office.To sum it up for those who do not wish to read, the important bit is the following:-There will be six head office members with set term limits. Two head office spots open each season with an election to follow.-From the head office, a commissioner will be chosen by the head office. They also have term limits.-There will a follow-up election following the selection of a new commissioner to replace them as a regular head office member. Thus, there will remain six head office members with one commissioner.Any questions regarding this will gladly be answered by any owner or commissioner.Now, onto the business. By unanimous decision, the head office has elected the new commissioner to replace Bojo. By a vote of 5-0, belgarat has been selected as the new commissioner.Please join me in congratulating belgarat and wishing him the best of luck in his new posting as the commissioner of the SHL. I know he will do a great job and look forward to seeing him take the role head on.In conjunction with this selection, another head office election will occur to replace belgart as a Western Conference representative. Link for nominations is here: http://theshl.b1.jcink.com/index.php?act=ST&f=40&t=76384