BOOM

My VHFL team thanks you.

With the sudden realization that I'm now eligible for the Veteran Presence point task, here I sit, ready to whine and complain about my career so far. Regular viewers will be used to the constant stream of negativity and pessimism from the Boomchenko™ player agency so why not give the VHL fans what they expect? After being selected at 6th Overall in the S83 VHL Entry Draft by the Helsinki Titans, Voss suspected that it might be a bumpy ride until his Rookie deal expired and he was free to explore other options. After all, the agencies previous stint with the Titans, in the form of Gunnar Odinsson also failed miserably and ended in his move to the Legion due to Locker Room issues. The Titans have never been a preferred destination for the Agency and once again, time is ticking on the stay in Finland. He has been disappointing(as expected) in Helsinki colors since arriving and things really haven't clicked for the booming defenseman from South Africa. This past off-season, which has been explained and excused by all involved, nonetheless sealed the fate of Voss and ensured that he'll be in a different uniform once the puck drops in S86. Too much has been said by both parties in relation to the disaster this off-season, and relationships have broken down to the point where Voss hasn't been allowed access to the Titans Locker room since the end of their brief playoff stint last season. "I mean, I get it, I'm not allowed or wanted in the Locker Room, but it fucking sucks to be honest. I have to arrive separately, dress for the game, sit by myself in the stands during the period breaks and then leave the facility before the other players after the game. Great team atmosphere in my worthless opinion", said Voss yesterday. The only contact with the team is brief text messages with Florida Man, who remains the only Titans player to contact Voss since last season. It's a terrible situation for everyone involved, and the likelihood of any trade this season has been shot down, with Voss saying that he won't extend with any trading partner, simply to ensure that the Titans don't benefit from a trade. He will walk away, on his own terms to a team of his choosing. No matter what or if, anything happens with regards to the Helsinki Titans GM position, the franchise is finished as far as he is concerned. "It's simply a team that I've had nothing but terrible experiences with, so as far as future clients, the Titans will be off-limits", said Vladimir Boomchenko, Voss' agent. Season 84 was a dramatic realization that Voss wasn't going to live up to any of the hype or promise that might have been. A dismal campaign where he only managed 52 points and 82 hits, disappointed many award voters, and ultimately Voss himself. "Terrible, just goddamn terrible" he said. "A complete failure and proof that you simply should not believe your own hype, or listen to the so called experts in the VHL." Whatever happens next is anyone's guess, but here's hoping that a change of uniform may result in a change of fortune for Hammar. 500+

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1. We're a quarter into the season. While we had a shaky start, things are starting to look better. How are you feeling about the team? I'm not sure that I'm qualified to have feelings about the team, but as a former player in another life, I like to see the Express doing well. 2. Do you follow any other team apart from the Express (and why)? As I scout FA destinations, I'm currently tracking the performances of VHL defenses, but not strictly "following" a specific team. 3. What are you most looking forward to when you graduate from the VHLE? Not applicable, but I hope those about to move up are ready for the next level! 4. The NFL has started. Do you support any team there? Not really. I used to be a semi-serious fantasy player, so I followed games that my team lineup were playing week to week. 5. Do you have a favorite player in the VHL? Whoever is carrying my VHFL team to 6 TPE glory. 6. Who is your player's render (and why)? Roman Josi, because like me, he's a rugged, attractive man. Although he can hockey...I can't.

The great man is a wicket-taking machine! Thanks @Berocka

51 bottles of beer on the wall, 51 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around...

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PM sent

No wonder Voss beat you up in todays game.

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*Comes to forum. Reads article. Sees the Helsinki section. Cries. Leaves.

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Thank you! I'll apply this 3 TPE once I recover from the shock of not getting a 0 or 1.

Congratulations to them, but the Titans rookies are some of the luckiest SOBs. From sitting unsigned to starting for HSK.

You'd better have a season son...my VHFL team is depending on it!

Bad luck, I'm answering these. 1. How was your off-season? Personally, and team-based opinion: it sucked balls. I'm glad Ray is OK, but it kind of fucked a couple of us. 2. How do you anticipate we do this season? I think you will win the NA conference and have multiple award winners. 3. Who is your first pick in VHFL? If you didn’t participate, who would you have picked? For no particular reason(and picking 6th) I went Detroit and Peepants. Elite. 4. Who do you think should win rookie of the year? I think I went with Maple. Seemed a popular pick so we'll see how that goes. 5. What is your go-to pizza order for the big game? Just anchovies. Nothing else. 6. How are you enjoying the weather here in L.A? Is it too hot for you or do you enjoy the heat? I don't mind the heat actually, so LA is fine. It's the SoCal douchebags that I have a problem with.

I know right? We were supposed to go undefeated.