JardyB10

Claiming 2/2 (Week ending August 29, 2021)

We all know Stockholm is just Vasteras with a different hat on.

Oh damn now I'm hyped

First of all, go Istanbul I guess! Second of all, FUCK VASTERAS!!

That depends, do you live in Saskatoon or Lloydminster?

Prospect Scouting Report (S79) - Poopy Peepants Defence | 6' 1" | 211 lbs | Age: 21 With his humble beginnings as a checkout clerk at an Independent Grocery Store, few could have anticipated the hype and promise around Poopy Peepants. He was the first defenceman to be selected in his draft class, going 4th overall to the Davos Dynamo. Much of the excitement about Peepants has to do with his agent, VHL legend Jardy Bunclewirth, but despite having learned exactly how to play hockey recently, Poopy has given reasons of his own for fans to get excited. His VHLM career started rather low key. Peepants joined the playoff-bound Houston Bulls for the last four games of S77, managing to get one assist, 10 hits, and five blocked shots in that time frame - a reasonable performance for such a window. He fared even better in the Bulls 5-game first round exit to the Mississauga Hound, improving to one goal, three assists, 12 hits, and 13 shots blocked. He even had a +1 rating despite the team having a -6 goal differential. That off-season, he was drafted to the Miami Marauders in the first round, going 10th overall. The Marauders were beginning a rebuild, and thought the inexperienced Peepants would be an ideal player to perform on the team for at least two seasons. The first season, however, was a write-off, and Miami ended S78 of the VHLM in the bottom of the standings. For Poopy's part, he performed admirably offensively, scoring six goals and 38 assists. Being on such a poor team, he was able to excel defensively, delivering 243 hits (7th in the VHLM) during the season, and preventing 162 shots from reaching the net (1st in the VHLM). Poopy Peepants has shown - with emphasis from Bunclewirth - that he is a pass first, defensive stalwart. He takes his position seriously and aims to keep the puck out of his team's zone as frequently as he can. This is a skillset that the Dynamo clearly felt would be useful on their up-and-coming team. PROS + PHYSICALITY: Poopy has a very sturdy frame and he's not afraid to use it. He can absolutely level anyone daring to skate with their head down in his proximity, and he's also usually able to scrape the puck out for his team in busy corners. + PUCK MOVEMENT: As stated earlier, Peepants is a pass-first defender. When he has the puck, he can usually find a better player to handle it with pin-point accuracy. If he needs to move with the puck first to find an opening, he will do it, and adequately. CONS - OFFENSE: Peepants is simply not a direct offensive threat with the puck. He shot leaves a lot to be desired, and as such he takes very few, averaging less than one per game with his time in Miami. Of the six goals he did manage, five were on the powerplay, which is a role that he is not necessarily suited for. - DISCIPLINE: His inexperience playing the competitive game does sometimes show. More skilled players will skate around him, leading to frustration, leading to penalties. Poopy Peepants spent 134 minutes in the penalty box in S78, many of which resulted in goals for the opposition.

Colour, of course.

But buffalo is definitively orange, and it's ostensibly spicy!

I imagine one would use soy sauce for such a thing.

There's a secret $100 donation option for this.

I said spicy orange sauce! Literally the same answer, only mine includes even more sauces that are spicy and orange!

Poopy had a non poopy game!

Spicy orange sauce

Yes

1. With London selling off some of their assets, the 6th-place team in our conference should be expected to drop off somewhat, meaning that barring anything going horribly wrong...we're in the playoffs for the first time since S73! What's the first thing you're doing to celebrate? Not a lot yet, I'll cheer if we can stay out of the wildcard spot, the playoffs are going to be competitive enough as is, I'd hate to have to face off against any competitive team in a three game series if we don't have to. 2. I've noticed throughout the season that our power play and penalty kill have been consistently terrible, even though I've been experimenting with our setup there just as much as I've been messing with the regular lines. If we had even average units there, do you think it would make much of a difference in the standings, or are Warsaw and Malmo just too far ahead? Malmo is certainly too far ahead, perhaps Warsaw as well. But it would probably help us into the aforementioned guaranteed playoff position, which would be lovely. 3. With today being deadline day, the team directly below us in the standings in Prague has decided to make some roster moves. Though none are necessarily major, they've improved somewhat. Should we be any more worried about them than before, or is it business as usual? I think it's business as usual, Prague had a great team both before and after the deadline, and they're a team we particularly want to win against to stay high in the standings. 4. Also with deadline day comes the emergence of recreates! Are there any new players (listed here) that you're particularly excited for? I discussed this in today's Chodesode, but I'm happy to see @Beaviss re-creating. I hope he sticks around, I never truly got a lot of time with him, and he's an amazing member. 5. What's a musical artist whose appeal you don't understand? Any of those young rappers that died. 6. Who's someone you admire who isn't from the USA, Canada, or your own country (if it's neither of those two)? @Ahma of course.

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* I immediately use a DISCORD FILTERED WORD! https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/The-Chodesode-18-The-One-Where-Im-Pulling-an-All-Nighter-e16fbp3 In today's episode, I: - Feature Berocka - Am extremely overtired and it shows - Discuss why this is for 10 minutes - Go over the trade deadline deals - Talk about Beavis' return and the struggles of reclaiming past activity levels as a returning inactive Mentions of all sorts: @Berocka @Jamomayo @youloser1337 @bukss_a @diamond_ace @Beaviss

Love it! I want to live in a murdery moon world

Hello Mr. Anthony! I don’t really think we had any overlap, but I joined around S15 and was nutty for league history so I know who you are and where you live and I’m right outside your window

Tanky was just hitting his prime.

I’m still expecting you to earn the Most Inactive award.

While I think it’s fair to question the weight of which Hits are considered, I don’t think it’s fair to say they’re useless. As far as I know, a hit knocks the puck off the player every time. It doesn’t always create a turnover, but it is at least one of the few stats that somewhat tangibly show something. GMotY is tough to vote for, I have no comment. Good podcast, you buffoons.

Thank you for the prayers, they were answered and I returned and killed two of my Pokes. My prayers were also answered because there’s no tier list and this podcast is under an hour! XD No judgement for 10+ minutes of banter, I routinely do 5+ minutes of banter and I don’t even have friends. Why are you motherfuckers tweeting?

Valiq is for Top Offensive Defenceman, and Labatte is for Best Overall Defenceman. DAMN IT GET IT RIGHT! I agree Red Lite deserves MVP if NYA makes playoffs. Love to hear about the bonkers drivers around you I just said in BladeMaiden’s podcast how +\- SHOULD be used, compare it to your teammates with similar minutes. Ridding the defensive awards on the grounds of “they’re just for players who get lots of points and have Checking” is obscene. You can make that argument for literally every award. “Do away with Most Goals because it just goes to players with lots of Scoring and TPE in general.” If anything, change the parameter of the Boulet to be for the top power forward. I agree with your view on the Elmebeck. It’s a positive process right from getting the community to submit nominees. I wouldn’t undersell the extraordinaryness of an extremely active good vibes member. That’s why BigAl could win every year, and I think that’s great. I ran out of gas 2 or 3 times with my old car, because the estimated gauge was a damn liar. Driving slower is supposed to be more efficient. TPE for views or likes seems like it could be exploitable. There would probably have to be a committee to go over all the PTs and decide which is best.

What game was your child playing which added candles?

I’d love to see more recognition for non-offensive and non-“meta” builds. Unfortunately the stats for those builds are simply not available. We have hits (debatable in their own right) and SBs as our only real tangible stats that are at least saying something. An STHS V2+ engine would open the door to giveaways and takeaways at least, but at least when I was simming that wasn’t a feasible switch because the sims went insane. I can’t remember what specifically, but I think scoring and maybe penalties absolutely skyrocketed no matter what sliders were used. However, maybe with increased amounts of players and members now the sim could behave differently? Might be worth an updated test. One thing I will say is that I don’t think +\- is looked at much by anyone, and that is a grievous oversight. I think a player’s +\- compared to the rest of their team also says something. So a player with a -40 might appear bad at a glance, but if the rest of their team is -60 and everyone is getting similar minutes, suddenly that -40 looks damn impressive.