Life Help Thread 2.0

[Smarch 3,153]

If you believe in fate, then ride it out bud. If it's meant to be it will happen regardless, if not we'll it wasn't meant to be

[JardyB10 4,865]

I wouldn't go the "tell her how you feel" route either. If anything, you can throw the odd flirt in now and then (which would be particularly good if it was as much an objective statement as it was a compliment. But it would have to flow in with the conversation you're having and not be out of the blue. For example, my girlfriend's BFF was once expressing concerns over an outfit she wanted to wear out, and I deadpanned something to the effect of, "It looks really good, but it doesn't really matter what you wear because you're good looking and most guys won't care." She loved that, and obviously that's a little different cuz I actually was just making an objective statement and not flirting at all, but you get the idea.). That way, you can still hint that you'd be interested in another scenario, without burning any bridges as an outright confession might. 

 

A

[Shaka 228]

On 6/11/2016 at 2:20 PM, Banackock said:

He doesn't want a friendship I'd imagine. Evidently he wants more and if he can't get more, it'll never be the "same" for him. He'll always want more.

 

Thus, all in or all out. Again, I'm against it because you have to respect she's in a relationship BUT if you'e going to make a move, don't just ask her out or some dumb shit. Take your time to charm her, make her laugh, make her smile, make her happy. Focus on her happiness and I'm sure it'll all come. Don't rush into it. All great things take time to become. Just don't make her your world. The world is much bigger than one person or anything individual. 

 

This.

I'd add to be yourself. By charming her, making her laugh, making her smile and allowing her attraction for you to build organically you should maintain your own personality, interests, etc. Too many of my friends change things about themselves to fit what they believe the girl wants and then either fail to honestly attract her or attract her with a false identity that's impossible to sustain. I'm guilty of doing the same while dating before I got married.

[scoop 3,432]

1 hour ago, Shaka said:

This.

I'd add to be yourself. By charming her, making her laugh, making her smile and allowing her attraction for you to build organically you should maintain your own personality, interests, etc. Too many of my friends change things about themselves to fit what they believe the girl wants and then either fail to honestly attract her or attract her with a false identity that's impossible to sustain. I'm guilty of doing the same while dating before I got married.

I'm somewhat guilty of changing myself, but not necessarily to what I think would make her like me more. I'm just trying to better my life in general because I'm definitely not happy with it. Sure, meeting her inspired me, but I'm doing it for myself. Basically what that means for now is playing less league of legends because that game has made me feel dead inside for a while now. 

[Shaka 228]

6 hours ago, Streetlight said:

I'm somewhat guilty of changing myself, but not necessarily to what I think would make her like me more. I'm just trying to better my life in general because I'm definitely not happy with it. Sure, meeting her inspired me, but I'm doing it for myself. Basically what that means for now is playing less league of legends because that game has made me feel dead inside for a while now. 

 

That's fair. I don't think that's changing yourself in the sense that she might not see the "real you." If anything she'll probably appreciate that you want to better yourself. Women like men who aren't on auto-pilot. I think everyone is like that or at least should be like that. I'm just as guilty of it. Self growth for the win.

I hope everything works out. Good luck!

[Baozi 1,658]

I would just flirt and keep things non-friendly and wait to see if they break up.

 

But don't be the one that is "always there for her" at this time. Otherwise you'll just friendzone yourself.

[Daniel 565]

As a one night stand specialist imma sit this one out but good luck with it bud

[scoop 3,432]

She informed me today that she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. 

 

That whole thing about giving someone some time after a breakup is bullshit, right? 

[Advantage 2,891]

I'll add this one cause I'm deeply confused on what to do.

 

Been with my girlfriend for a bit now (6 or so months).  While it hasn't been that long I don't think I've ever felt so happy with someone and so supported.  Pretty well having one of the best summers I've ever had...until....I got news she's moving back to Alberta due to financial reasons and because her dad is quite sick.  Now she's gone in a couple months but we've talked about trying to make it work and maybe me moving there after the school year (I have one year left).

 

I'm torn though because every part of me wants to go there but as an only child and someone very close to my now 60 year old parents, admittedly it would be hard to move across the country away from them.

 

Not really sure what to do.

[sterling 1,997]

46 minutes ago, Advantage said:

I'll add this one cause I'm deeply confused on what to do.

 

Been with my girlfriend for a bit now (6 or so months).  While it hasn't been that long I don't think I've ever felt so happy with someone and so supported.  Pretty well having one of the best summers I've ever had...until....I got news she's moving back to Alberta due to financial reasons and because her dad is quite sick.  Now she's gone in a couple months but we've talked about trying to make it work and maybe me moving there after the school year (I have one year left).

 

I'm torn though because every part of me wants to go there but as an only child and someone very close to my now 60 year old parents, admittedly it would be hard to move across the country away from them.

 

Not really sure what to do.

Six months isn't enough time for that level of commitment, I'd play it by ear to see how things go from a distance before you get into anything serious in regard to moving out west.

[Advantage 2,891]

9 minutes ago, sterling said:

Six months isn't enough time for that level of commitment, I'd play it by ear to see how things go from a distance before you get into anything serious in regard to moving out west.

Well that is sorta the silver lining of it all is that if I were to move out there...by then we would have been together for a year and a half...so at the very least it buys me time I guess.

[sterling 1,997]

51 minutes ago, Advantage said:

Well that is sorta the silver lining of it all is that if I were to move out there...by then we would have been together for a year and a half...so at the very least it buys me time I guess.

Let's evaluate in a year

[Baozi 1,658]

4 hours ago, Streetlight said:

She informed me today that she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. 

 

That whole thing about giving someone some time after a breakup is bullshit, right? 

 

Don't wait. I've seen first hand my buddy went for a rebound literally one hour after a break up.  They are married now.

 

Get in there.

[Baozi 1,658]

3 hours ago, Advantage said:

Well that is sorta the silver lining of it all is that if I were to move out there...by then we would have been together for a year and a half...so at the very least it buys me time I guess.

 

You could always consider doing a long distance relationship to see if that works for you. But honestly if she's worth the squeeze...6 months or one year doesn't make a difference. Some people find their spouses in 3 months and some take years but its different for everyone. I have friends married after 3 months and some after 7 years.

[Daniel 565]

5 hours ago, Streetlight said:

She informed me today that she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. 

 

That whole thing about giving someone some time after a breakup is bullshit, right? 

Strike while the iron is hot fam 

[gorlab 4,321]

I got my dick stuck in a creepy crawlers oven, pls advise.

[Smarch 3,153]

9 hours ago, Advantage said:

Well that is sorta the silver lining of it all is that if I were to move out there...by then we would have been together for a year and a half...so at the very least it buys me time I guess.

Still to early bud. Like sterling said, give it a year from now and see what your mindset is at

[stevo 792]

3 hours ago, gorlab said:

I got my dick stuck in a creepy crawlers oven, pls advise.

Swing it around

[ChrisF 105]

Hey, this is the story of my f'n life. Only difference is, I get told that they aren't interested in me and only like me as a friend.

[Dangles13 373]

13 hours ago, gorlab said:

I got my dick stuck in a creepy crawlers oven, pls advise.

 

 

[scoop 3,432]

Yeah she said she doesn't want to date right now, which is understandable but doesn't really answer any questions for me. Probably just her way of rejecting me though

[.sniffuM 1,741]

So as some of you may know, I went to a wedding over the weekend. It was for an old neighbor/family friend that was best friends with my brother from when they were 12 til about 19 before they got jobs and started doing their own thing. My brother and I got pretty trashed at the wedding, and we had a pretty good time.

 

Then a couple days later it comes out that two of the wedding gifts/envelopes were missing. The groom's mom accused me and my brother of taking drugs at the wedding (we didn't) and stealing the envelopes (fuck no we didn't). Apparently someone told her they saw us doing drugs there, then changed up their story and said we seemed like we were on drugs (again, we got pretty trashed, but we weren't the most fucked up people there I'd say). The main evidence that they have that we took the envelopes were that both the people whose envelopes were missing sat at our table (which, if we took them, would be absolutely stupid of us) and the fact that one of the people asked us to help them look for their envelope for a little bit.

 

My brother already talked to the groom, who doesn't believe we did either of that shit. Neither of us really care about it, the only thing that it affects is how we look in the eyes of a few people that we see maybe every couple years nowadays if that. But my dad's pretty pissed about it, he wants to find out who was saying this shit and he wants us to take a drug test to prove we're innocent (no issue for me, I'm on probation for marijuana so I'll pass no problem, but my brother wouldn't). The fact that people would blindly take the blathering of a woman whose known to not be the most stable person in the world kinda sucks, but it doesn't really affect us since, again, these are older people that we rarely see and wouldn't mind cutting out but my dad's not happy about it. And, based in my tendency to not fight for myself in smaller, more insignificant situations, I doubt my dad would let me let this go.

 

So what should I do here? As you can tell my last couple days have been buckets of fun. :\

[JardyB10 4,865]

On 2016-07-16 at 11:32 PM, Advantage said:

I'll add this one cause I'm deeply confused on what to do.

 

Been with my girlfriend for a bit now (6 or so months).  While it hasn't been that long I don't think I've ever felt so happy with someone and so supported.  Pretty well having one of the best summers I've ever had...until....I got news she's moving back to Alberta due to financial reasons and because her dad is quite sick.  Now she's gone in a couple months but we've talked about trying to make it work and maybe me moving there after the school year (I have one year left).

 

I'm torn though because every part of me wants to go there but as an only child and someone very close to my now 60 year old parents, admittedly it would be hard to move across the country away from them.

 

Not really sure what to do.

I moved to Texas when my entire life was in Saskatchewan. I've been dating my girlfriend for 1.25 years about now. Mind you I need to go home at the end of the month, and I can't stay here long term without a job/visa.

 

But yeah, like the other Sasks kinda said, you'll know better once you're done school, or possibly even in a couple months when she leaves and you guys do the long distance thing for a bit. In my situation, my girlfriend was going to school in Sask, but she moved to Texas for the summer while we were dating. I flew out and visited her for three weeks, but otherwise we were apart from May to the end of August. I recommend doing something similar if it works out for everyone conveniently and financially and all that.

 

Overall, my advice would be to not be afraid to leave if you feel she might be worth it. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and you come home.

[JardyB10 4,865]

On 2016-07-18 at 1:23 AM, Streetlight said:

Yeah she said she doesn't want to date right now, which is understandable but doesn't really answer any questions for me. Probably just her way of rejecting me though

That is very possible unfortunately. Likely, even. I'd move on from this one for a while, the lack of attention might even endear her.

 

I'm not saying to flat out ignore her and stop being her friend and stop doing things you used to, but maybe start moving on from the idea of a romance, as tough as that might be to hear/do.

[JardyB10 4,865]

11 minutes ago, .sniffuM said:

So as some of you may know, I went to a wedding over the weekend. It was for an old neighbor/family friend that was best friends with my brother from when they were 12 til about 19 before they got jobs and started doing their own thing. My brother and I got pretty trashed at the wedding, and we had a pretty good time.

 

Then a couple days later it comes out that two of the wedding gifts/envelopes were missing. The groom's mom accused me and my brother of taking drugs at the wedding (we didn't) and stealing the envelopes (fuck no we didn't). Apparently someone told her they saw us doing drugs there, then changed up their story and said we seemed like we were on drugs (again, we got pretty trashed, but we weren't the most fucked up people there I'd say). The main evidence that they have that we took the envelopes were that both the people whose envelopes were missing sat at our table (which, if we took them, would be absolutely stupid of us) and the fact that one of the people asked us to help them look for their envelope for a little bit.

 

My brother already talked to the groom, who doesn't believe we did either of that shit. Neither of us really care about it, the only thing that it affects is how we look in the eyes of a few people that we see maybe every couple years nowadays if that. But my dad's pretty pissed about it, he wants to find out who was saying this shit and he wants us to take a drug test to prove we're innocent (no issue for me, I'm on probation for marijuana so I'll pass no problem, but my brother wouldn't). The fact that people would blindly take the blathering of a woman whose known to not be the most stable person in the world kinda sucks, but it doesn't really affect us since, again, these are older people that we rarely see and wouldn't mind cutting out but my dad's not happy about it. And, based in my tendency to not fight for myself in smaller, more insignificant situations, I doubt my dad would let me let this go.

 

So what should I do here? As you can tell my last couple days have been buckets of fun. :\

Tell your dad that whoever is saying this should fuck off and die in a torturous and unpleasant fashion, and that you encourage him to find out who it is, and even take a drug test if need be (maybe even point out that marijuana doesn't turn people into kleptomaniac retards), but you'd rather not waste the money just to soothe the nerves of some cunt who won't even care about the drug results anyway.

 

Also tell the groom to tell his mom to fuck off and that the "evidence" makes zero sense because if they were stolen from the gift table, why would it matter where the people sat? Unless both people didn't put their envelopes on the gift table. In which case they should have, and I wouldn't be surprised if they still had them and are just stupid.

 

Also really make sure your brother didn't steal them.

 

But yeah, to put it simply, make sure you confidently project how you definitely did not steal these things, and that you are appalled and angry that bullshit is being spread about you, and insist that you find out who "saw" you doing drugs, so you can call them out for being the shitty lying awful person they are and bury them in their misinformation and terribleness.