2 years on the site

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

Today marks my second year on this site. I joined the VHL on June 18th 2018 through a reddit post. I wanted to share my experiences and thoughts on the league and the members who make this place amazing, and hopefully give some behind the scenes looks.

 

- Being a GM actually isn't that great. I started out in the VHLM with Halifax when they became an expansion team in S62 and in my first two seasons I went to the finals. Never got a cup, but that offseason I was approached by Quik asking if I wanted to take of the HC Davos Dynamo. I actually almost said no, considering how much I loved Halifax. But I said yes and I think we all know what happens next. I poured everything I had into GMing and I really didn't get much back for my time invested. Some times I'd wonder if I should just quit because I'd make all the right moves on paper and say the right things, but I'd still fail and get made into a laughing stock. I take blame for what happened with Davos, but some days were really demoralizing, and it's a very thankless job. In the public eye, you're either great or you suck, and unfortunately I was seen as the latter. I don't mean to discourage new members from GMing, in fact I even put myself on the list of GMs to be hired. But it's definitely a job for a certain type of person, and if you don't have enough patience or luck, you won't succeed. I got so burnt out of it in the losing days. Something I've never admitted was I was inactive during S67. Coming off a deep playoff run, we lost some core guys and we sucked. I would pop on here and there, say a few words, leave. I made countless filler trades to make it look like I was trying, but in reality I was logging on maybe once every other day, and nobody seemed to realize, or at least publicly call me out. I think when your team is good, it's very fun, which is why guys like Beaviss and Bana can do it for so long, but guys like me struggle with it. This isn't me looking for pity, but it's very hard to be good at GMing, and most of the time the meta is to just YOLO it and pray it works. Definitely wish there was a different way.

 

- Reputation can be hard. I started out on the site as the kind of guy who said positive things on every thread, always ended with exclamation points, and didn't have a bad bone in his body. Over time, the "meme crowd" joined and it was right around the time I struggled with Davos. I played along and memed myself a lot in an attempt to be relatable. But I guess this just opened people up to thinking it's ok to repeatedly bash me, despite me not enjoying it. I became someone who would often challenge others and who would talk back to higher ups when I didn't like something. I already have another thread on this so I won't beat a dead horse, but it's not easy to try and save face constantly. I never even thought to just take it on the chin because growing up I was kinda that weird annoying kid, so I learned to verbally defend myself a lot against others. I just felt like it was an attack on me rather than my GM skills. I realized most of it was in good fun, but there were nights where I was genuinely shaken about what people were saying because I'm not good at keeping calm under tense situations. The thing I really hate to admit is that the asshole, cocky me, is my real personality. I will admit, I've burned bridges and such in other communities, much like I was doing here. I put on a fake smile when I joined and over time I just revealed the real me. I'm trying to make that the real me a good me, as I've said before. Over the past bit I've made an effort to be nicer to everyone by 50% and so far, it's going well. I'm slowly trying to build up my reputation again and be that guy that so many people want me to be. I'll admit, I miss being the resident nice guy here, so it's something I wanna work towards again. Gonna try applying for VHLM jobs here soon so fingers crossed?

 

- Tenure doesn't mean anything. Like I've admitted before, I'm really not a role model. However, I have felt very underappreciated in my time here. I've got thousands of log-ins, donated over $200 to the league, been here for 2 years, and it still feels like I am on even ground with new members. I don't mean that I'm better than anyone, but it's very disheartening to not get an updater job only to have them end up hiring someone who joined 3 weeks ago, or someone who was JUST inactive. I GM'd in the VHL for over a year and I was not once offered anything better. There are guys like Dil or Josh or Sonnet which joined the league after me and still have top-tier jobs. I know they're good at what they do, but I have skills too, yet I was never given an opportunity to prove it, or put them to use. Hell, I was 1 of 2 GMs in the whole league that wasn't a BOG, so despite being a GM myself, I was always the last to know info that pertained to me. In fact I think for the Moscow expansion, I was notified a week before it was scheduled to happen, when it had been discussed the offseason prior. I'm not saying I deserve the world, but not a lot of people make it past a year here, let alone 2, so I felt like I got boned a bit when it came to opportunity. It sucks to think even for a second that my legacy on this site one day will being someone who was only ever a GM, and a mediocre one at that. I've voiced these concerns privately before, but it's just a bummer to put so much into a site and care so much for it, only to be socially lower than someone who's still new to this and doesn't know much.

 

- I've definitely been too harsh on people. I will admit it, I've been a dick to people who really don't deserve it. I've done a complete 180 of my opinion on some guys like Dil or Doomsday. I used to fight tooth and nail with Dil, always calling each other nasty things and calling each other terrible people, but now we work together on Halifax and he's a super cool guy. Doomsday is more recent, me and him have been going back and forth a bit in recent months on the forums, but after some apologies both ways, we're on good terms. So consider this a public apology. I dunno why, but I've just always felt the need to defend myself so whenever someone comes at me, I've always seen it as an attack on my character, when it's anything but that. It's hard to explain, but hopefully you catch my drift. I've learned to just kinda take it on the chin recently, and just sorta shake it off and hope people stop, because I know I don't have much patience.

 

- The league has become way too PC. I just know I'll cause some controversy here, but I wanna say I'm not looking to start anything, this is just my opinion. IMO, the league has taken the whole image thing too far. I understand mutes and bans for racial slurs such as the n word, but some words that aren't really PC are a grey area. I will admit, I use the R word and G word in my daily life. I don't intend to, but growing up, those words meant stupid or dumb and us kids used a lot and it stuck with me. When I use the R word I don't mean that people with special needs are stupid, and same with the G word for the LGBT community, rather I'm using the WORD as a placeholder for stupid. Now this isn't just about me, but with recent events, I've felt like the league is just trying to protect itself by putting out a BLM statement or making certain things punishable now. Which that's not a bad thing, but it's kinda true that the league has become political recently, and in the event of Bana (IN MY OPINION) the way he leaned politically and his statements were the last straw in his firing. I've never revealed how I lean politically because I honestly fear that I'll be unjustly looked down upon for my opinions, and those opinions don't always line up with the PC way. Again I'm not looking to start shit, but it's really how I feel. If you have an issue with this, please PM me rather than quoting or commenting below.

 

- The league isn't much fun after a while. Like I mentioned earlier, it's super boring to play out a lost-cause season, and same with being a player. It's no fun in the middle of your career, not earning many points and playing on some doomed team. IDK how I'd fix this issue, but burn out is real, and it happens much earlier than you'd think. Part of the reason I went MIA is because the league just straight up isn't fun sometimes. No point in logging on daily to have meaningless convos and not do anything with your player, and after a while it snowballs and really bites you in the ass, and next thing you know you're inactive. GM wise, the sim makes no sense. I'd pull all nighters working out trades with EU GMs, or checking stats, or PMing back and forth with prospects. I literally lost sleep GMing Davos, and I built superteams. I tried every single combination of players, different types of players, different strategies, different lines, etc. In fact, S65 Davos was considered cup favorites that season, and we didn't even make the playoffs. Makes 0 sense. Also add in the fact that you can only get so involved here, and you've got a perfect storm for inactivity. I've watched some extremely active guys like McWolf and Thranduil seemingly go inactive out of nowhere, and you always wonder why until you realize the league isn't easy to always be enthusiastic about.

 

- My life has changed these past 2 years. Finally, a lot has gone on for me outside the league. I've been in 2 serious relationships since joining, one of which I'm still in and very happy with my girlfriend. I graduated highschool and moved out of my parents house, went to college, and failed this past semester. This past December, I got a Grade 3 (Severe) concussion which left me KO'd on the ice in front of my entire school student body, I lost my real life job as a result, and when I went home for Christmas, my bday gift was my parents telling me they were splitting (and as of last week they are divorced) and then about a month later, I was fired from my Davos job. This isn't a pity party, I've had some great things happen to me. Despite being 18 at the time, I lost my virginity to my now girlfriend and it was amazing, and I also got into Powerlifting and Boxing, which has changed my life and given me 5x more confidence than I've ever had. A lot has happened in the last 2 years, some bad, some good. Here's to hoping I have some positive words for 3 years next June.

 

Happy VHL birthday to me!

 

2,007 words

Claiming for Weeks:

6/15 - 6/21

6/22 - 6/28

6/29 - 7/5

7/6 - 7/12

Edited July 1, 2020 by ShawnGlade

[Banackock 8,160]

Agreed with a few points here but will mostly keep them in the shadows.

 

What I will comment on is my management tenure and how it’s always been fun. I know it’s not likely what you meant. There’s been a few lows along my tenure too, but nothing too extreme. You learn as you go. Ride the wave, whether it’s big or small. What I will say is that Seattle hasn’t been good for all 4 years, or 24 seasons straight, that Ive been a GM. There’s moments of frustration (expansion, criticism or whatever) and moments of being tired and exhausted from the role. However, I think those moments are individual pieces of sand on an entire beach and that’s how I think about it.  I have loved managing Seattle the entire time and have always had it be my passion, even before the VHL when I was on the SHL. Does the criticism suck? Yeah it can. After awhile though, you care less and less because you learn it’s usually just the same people and a majority notice your work, efforts and accolades. Not everyone is gonna like your style, trades or ways. That’s how it will always be and can’t shit on them for it. I want them to enjoy the league as much as I want them to enjoy Seattle. And usually, it’s lighthearted bugging and jokes. We must remember what this community is about. We’re all here together with the same purpose. It’s something I’ve learned more and more over the years to respect, cherish and even welcome. 
 

Ive had bad rebuilding teams too and empty locker rooms. Probably more than most as my tenure has been longer than any single tenure ever in league history. What keeps me going is the passion and it’s what also makes the criticism and all that a little more intense (likely for you too as I know you had amazing passion for Halifax). I’ve encountered so many amazing people on Seattle and throughout the league. The role gives me the ability and desire to reach out to many members that possibly I wouldn’t without the role (and others maybe don’t as much). I have had members on my squad in recent seasons that I basically consider buddies and have become people that I trust the most on this site and it’s amazing to still have that happening after all these seasons. That’s weird for me. “Online buddies”. But these guys I talk to everyday and when the time comes to move them, I actually do feel sad. Moving @FrostBeard, as an example, I felt like I wanted to tear up, man. He’s a VHL brother to me. Having the GM role and doing that, it’s pretty damn special. 
 

I am grateful for the GMing role. I have no intentions on stepping down for quite some time and while our differing opinions on the role are okay, I find it to be amazing.  It’s the best thing that’s happened to me on these sites and I cannot truly express how amazing it’s been and how amazing it continues to be after all these seasons. The fire is still very much burning like it was on the day that the blues picked me to lead the Bears. It’s such an amazing experience and privilege to be able to serve the league, it’s members and the dominant dynasty known as the Seattle Bears. 
 

I know shits been frustrating on here for you a bit Shawn, but nobody has any horrible thoughts towards you in the grand scheme of things. You’re a great guy and have great potential on this site. Thank you for what you’ve done over the last 2 years and I hope you stick around for many more man. I’ve really enjoyed you being around!

[Beaviss 4,958]

Great read keep it up Shawn! Looking forward to reading the "3 years on the site" article.

[Berocka 2,263]

On 6/18/2020 at 8:42 PM, ShawnGlade said:

2,007 words

Claiming for Weeks:

6/15 - 6/21

6/22 - 6/28

6/29 - 7/5

7/6 - 7/12

 

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

Claiming for week ending on the 19th

 

4/4 weeks

[eaglesfan036 4,605]

@ShawnGlade thank you for sharing this, very interesting story.

 

I am only 23, but I have some boomer wisdom I would like to share. Nobody thinks about you anywhere near as much as you think about yourself. Most of the time, nobody cares what you are doing. Some examples:

 

Doing activities alone, such as eating in a public cafeteria, going to a restaurant, going to a movie. - A lot of people are embarrassed if they have to do things alone, worried that people will think they are a loser or whatever. Think about your last 50 trips to a public space. Can you even recall more than a handful of people you encountered? No one cares what you are doing

 

Overweight people at the beach - There is no need to be embarrassed about your body, no one truly cares. If a shirtless fat guy walks by me at the beach, maybe I think to myself, "He's a big guy." Then the thought of him just leaves my brain as I think of buff Beave pictures, and I never really think about that guy again. You do you at the beach.

 

How does this pertain to VHL? Some people might say you were a sucky GM. So what. You might stew on that comment for an hour, they don't give it more than 30 seconds of thought. Even if you were a sucky GM, who cares? That doesn't make you a bad person, no one is saying they hate you personally. You can in the future prove them wrong, or just ignore what some internet stranger has to think about your GM ability, because what does it really matter in the end? I say go for it and keep applying for GM jobs if you think it will give you pleasure. 

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

3 hours ago, eaglesfan036 said:

@ShawnGlade thank you for sharing this, very interesting story.

 

I am only 23, but I have some boomer wisdom I would like to share. Nobody thinks about you anywhere near as much as you think about yourself. Most of the time, nobody cares what you are doing. Some examples:

 

Doing activities alone, such as eating in a public cafeteria, going to a restaurant, going to a movie. - A lot of people are embarrassed if they have to do things alone, worried that people will think they are a loser or whatever. Think about your last 50 trips to a public space. Can you even recall more than a handful of people you encountered? No one cares what you are doing

 

Overweight people at the beach - There is no need to be embarrassed about your body, no one truly cares. If a shirtless fat guy walks by me at the beach, maybe I think to myself, "He's a big guy." Then the thought of him just leaves my brain as I think of buff Beave pictures, and I never really think about that guy again. You do you at the beach.

 

How does this pertain to VHL? Some people might say you were a sucky GM. So what. You might stew on that comment for an hour, they don't give it more than 30 seconds of thought. Even if you were a sucky GM, who cares? That doesn't make you a bad person, no one is saying they hate you personally. You can in the future prove them wrong, or just ignore what some internet stranger has to think about your GM ability, because what does it really matter in the end? I say go for it and keep applying for GM jobs if you think it will give you pleasure. 

I appreciate this boomer wisdom

 

I know people don't really care about what I'm doing or if I'm sucky, but my main point was that I felt like I was a microscope since I was one of 8 VHL GMs, and especially since I took over after Tyler won a cup like 2 seasons prior. I think being a GM kinda sucks if you aren't performing. People put a target on your back if you don't start hot and forget the good things. You probably didn't know that in my first ever season as a GM, I led Halifax to the Founder's cup finals. Again, in S66, Davos came within 2 wins of winning the EU and making a cup finals appearance, and this was after we SWEPT riga in round 1. S68 Davos took the eventual EU champions Malmo to Game 7 OT. While I'm definitely just picking out the good parts, nobody (well, at least most) hear the bad things about my time as GM and their default mindset is that I'm a bad GM because of surface level knowledge. Now I know not everyone cares about diving deeper, but it's worth noting.

 

Was I a sucky GM? Sure, I'll admit I was. But I definitely didn't feel like the good was being noticed when I was on top of things. People like Eno and Nykonax like to bash on me for being a bad GM, and while they're not completely wrong, it's hurtful that I was given positive feedback only for people to turn on me when things weren't so great. An example would be in S66 when I DM'd Nyko about bumping him down to the second line to try and increase scoring. He was on board with the idea and agreed it could be good. In fact, if I was really butthurt about it I could go back in our DMs and find it, but to this day he always mentions it as a GM blunder of mine to make me look dumb, despite him being on board with the idea.

 

Now I'm not trying to single out Nyko or whatever, I'm just saying things look way worse on the outside. You even played for Davos yourself, and something that flyersfan mentioned when I was fired was that while I wasn't the best GM, things were never as bad as people made them out to be. I'll admit you kinda joined the team in a limbo state, but I'm sure you'd feel the same way more or less, and agree that while I may not be the best GM, the communities perception was far different than what it was actually like.

 

It got to a point where people would be nice to me because I was doing that poorly. You know when someone is doing something so badly that you stay positive with them because if you were honest it may hurt their feelings? That's what me with Davos became. I'll use you and flyersfan as an example. You guys were a package deal in Free Agency and I tried very hard to keep you guys around, and you both gave me that "well if x doesn't work out then Davos is our first option!" but let's be real, you guys weren't resigning, and I knew it. I don't hold resentment because it's a sim hockey league, and I truly can't blame you guys, but that's the sort of thing I mean. I knew you guys were gone as soon as you told me you were testing free agency. Again I'm not trying to call you guys out or anything, but it's what I'm talking about. People just sort of put on a face when interacting with me because of the elephant in the room, but nobody knew how I'd react when called out.

 

All in all, I agree with you. People definitely don't care about what I do or the mistakes I make, and I know I overthink about my reputation and stuff like that, but it's the stuff people DO think about me that I have an issue with.

[jRuutu 2,483]

Quote

It got to a point where people would be nice to me because I was doing that poorly. You know when someone is doing something so badly that you stay positive with them because if you were honest it may hurt their feelings? That's what me with Davos became. I'll use you and flyersfan as an example. You guys were a package deal in Free Agency and I tried very hard to keep you guys around, and you both gave me that "well if x doesn't work out then Davos is our first option!" but let's be real, you guys weren't resigning, and I knew it. I don't hold resentment because it's a sim hockey league, and I truly can't blame you guys, but that's the sort of thing I mean. I knew you guys were gone as soon as you told me you were testing free agency. Again I'm not trying to call you guys out or anything, but it's what I'm talking about. People just sort of put on a face when interacting with me because of the elephant in the room, but nobody knew how I'd react when called out.

Not sure if whatever I´m going to say is related to your point, but the free agency part is a tough one. As a GM you cant really react to the news, as a teammate you cant really react to the news, everybody has to act nice despite the player making pretty obvious dent to the teams near future plans IF they end up leaving for free. If you as a GM or the teammates have a strong reaction, one thing is for sure - the player testing or thinking about free agency is not coming back, so like you said most users put on a face and dance around it. (In a ´friendly´ situation, if something dramatic happens then a different thing of course)

 

In general I don´t think most users want to stomp over a team and manager that is enjoying not so sunny time, they try to be nice. If they acted like a complete douche towards you, that would do you a favor, your players would have harder time leaving for free if they see negativity being thrown directly at you.

 

The sometimes tough situations does not mean you need to take everything on the chin, you mentioned the conversation with Nyko about second line to increase scoring and how he spins it around to make you look bad, that is a good spot to comment back in my opinion. General trash talk that is directed towards assumed struggling team is a low hanging fruit, and not so interesting, but I reckon one of the reasons you might get more of it now and in the future is those PC rules, trashing the struggling team is one of the safe options to be a douche in these leagues these days.

 

[Plate 386]

On 6/18/2020 at 7:42 AM, ShawnGlade said:

Tenure doesn't mean anything.

 

I know I'm late to the party but there were some good points here. I'm notoriously for being a wise person when it counts, and there was some stuff in here that I thought I could share some of my insight on. 

Tenure doesn't mean anything. I would say it means as much in this league as it does anywhere else. It exists in the same way. Unfortunately, the only "tenure" that matters is the politics/popularuty contest that happens between the big rigs and the people who want to move up. And it's okay to call it out. This isn't the only place to have it. It won't be the last. As far as I see it, it's a natural process that happens. Just because you don't naturally rise up in it and get positions doesn't mean that you are less of a person. The league has started a process in making this more transparent. And that's a really good thing. 

 

On 7/15/2020 at 4:44 AM, ShawnGlade said:

I think being a GM kinda sucks if you aren't performing.

 

Would you rather live in a shitty house with good people? Or a good house with shitty people? I intentionally signed in S72 with a bad team (Sorry @DoktorFunk). The Ottawa Lynx were TRASH. But I had a ton of fun. Sure, I didn't play the full 72 games with them. What matters most in the VHL in the present time is the locker room. I firmly believe the difference between a good GM and a great GM, is that a good GM makes a winning team, but a GREAT GM makes a locker room fun no matter what the situation is. Not to say you weren't a great GM. Making Halifax have a winning record for FOUR seasons in a row after inauguration is near impossible. The S65 Halifax locker room with @McWolf, @Thranduil, @SirRupertBarnes, @rjfryman, and myself was some of my fondest memories of the VHL. It inspired me to stay logged in and get TPE every week because I had a locker room counting on me to do so. 

 

Don't take any of this as a criticism towards who you are and your character. Life is a journey. Ultimately, it's individual. You can tread along the path, like you are with your girlfriend (Very happy for you!), but these lessons and reflections are only your own. You add so much value to the league. I know that when I left in S67, it was because I did too much. I took the league too seriously. I stopped having fun. Remember, this is a simulation hockey league. 

 

The only thing that matters here is making memories. I can't wait for you to fill my brain with more good memories of the league!