Victor

Bolding the key words repeatedly, interesting....

I think I'm borderline fed up with theme week as a concept in general, but not helped by this one being so dull.

It's tough for a guy to be constrained by the limitations of a theme week, especially one so narrow in its interpretation. Tough guy? You think you're tough, guy? Not as tough as a theme week about tough guys. How many variations of the same article are we being forced to write and read, all to satiate the apparently unrelenting appetite of the theme week gods? There is no tougher gig for a guy than to be forced to write about tough guys, other than perhaps to write about tough guys without writing about them at all. Tough as it is on my newly-found belief in the importance of freedom of expression and creativity, I do welcome a clear direction for this week, and depending on the length of this article, perhaps for several additional weeks to follow. My running list of article ideas has been slowly but surely being whittled away to such an extent that there's barely anything left on it, and some of the ideas that are left are not even particularly good or inspiring ones. That said, I will not wallow in this misery, I don't need a shoulder to cry on, I will not be that guy. Tough as that was to write, at least that paragraph had largely formed in my head before I wrote it. This one, on the other hand, is complete free-form. I type as I think and I think as I type, set themes be damned. Who said a tough guy had to be a VHL player and not a VHL idea, a VHL concept, a VHL dream? Is the toughest guy in the league not one who grinds out an article week after week, without relenting, without stopping to look and appreciate all that's gone on before and all that's gone on around him? How many words have I put to virtual paper over the years? Millions, at the very least, maybe more. Some lost in the ether of old forums and deleted subforums. Some still there, readily available to be read and consumed by no one other than internet scraping machines, rattling away with their digital parts creaking and screeching, a helpless cry heard by no one but the inhabitants of the dark web. After all, what does it matter what I wrote a week, a month, a decade ago? Just some words put on the internet by some guy. Tough luck to those who thought the bit could only last a couple paragraphs. Aye, I am doubling down, with every sentence I feel stronger and more empowered than the previous. Tough guys? Don't make me laugh. In a league which incessantly complains about the limitations of a sim engine when assessing defensive performances, where the Boulet discussion invariably and inevitably boils down to looking at hits and penalty minutes, you want me to dedicate 500 words (or more!) to discussing hits and penalty minutes? Spare me. How many hits have been dished out over the seasons? Millions? How many pucks have been lost a a result of them? Slightly fewer. How many penalty minutes served as a result? An imperceptible amount. Perhaps those scraping machines could answer that question. Not one that can be calculated by a mere mortal guy. Tough, isn't it? You're growing weary, dear reader. “You've got your 500 words,” I hear you cry, “Please, stop, no more.” Too late, I thunder in response. The rage deep inside me, that I didn't even know was there, is what is fuelling me now. One week of TPE is insufficient for the mental gymnastics I've forced myself through. This may have to go all the way to 2,000 to justify the idea. Terrible theme weeks breed terrible submissions and terrible submissions... well, you're still here aren't you? What search engine are you from? Where would you like this work published? Google, Yahoo, Bing? Some other backwater website only used by one guy? This was fun, in an odd, deeply disturbing kind of way. On reflection I've decided I don't need two weeks of article here because logistically it's better for me to write a multi-week claim next week. Otherwise I would have still been going, believe me on that. Fuck your theme week, tough guy.

At least make him not green smh

Crowd sourcing and end up with the worst idea of the lot. Tommy Sleeves has never felt the love he'll feel this week.

Not ranked - @Frank @Alex - anyone with a first name only is automatically DQ'd, what the hell kinda boring ass username is that? Bottom - @Banackock - obscene name, this is a family friendly website and you've got phallic imagery in a GM's username 2nd bottom - @Baby Boomer - tanked the economy and blames the kids for it Tied for 3rd worst - @LucyXpher @badcolethetitan and @leandrofg - only narrowly better than Frank and Alex Next - @v.2 - v2 of what? Why did you put a . in the middle this time around? @McLovin - DQd if that's your real name. Ranked here for trying to forge a name to buy alcohol if it's not. Pick your poison. @STZ - what are you, STD for gen Z? @qripll and @dstevensonjr - bad spelling / grammar @Tetricide - no complaints about username, putting you firmly in the top 4. However, you're struggling to make the playoffs. @InstantRockstar - win a cup ffs @Spartan - job hogger Least bad - @N0HBDY. Which is fitting. You're all terribly so nobody is the best. None of you are fit to polish Bushito's shoelaces. Go back to the VHLM. Dishonourable mention - @Ricer13

I guess I should have retired on you instead knowing how much you love that.

We are so back

week 2 of 2

THE MIGHTY ICE WIZARD REMAINS UNDEFEATED

Let's go

Tis Sunday and I have had no time to write something for TPE. Here we go. Del Rocco continues to underperform his TPE levels to the point where early retirement may well be on the cards especially if a championship arrives soon- can't be losing that streak at least. No huge surprises in the league standings after that flurry of offseason excitement, everyone is largely where you'd expect them to be after all the trades and we more or less can see that all will be decided in close battles in the playoffs again. There is very limited content to bounce off of although always a sprinkling of quality pieces throughout the week so I'm not concern but not exactly invigorated either. I don't know how to do a word count on my phone and it's too late to find out now so hopefully that's vaguely enough and if not I'll have to edit it tomorrow. Thurs update: A few delayed words more to point out wow, it is such a breath of fresh air to not wake up to a sim today. It's like stepping in a time machine and travelling back to 2015. More of this please @Beketov!

I record myself scrolling through the sim game logs and then rewatch it in slow motion, does that count?

The playoffs are the most important part of the season, a fact which is beyond dispute. Yet when it comes to voting for awards, other than playoff MVP of course, and discussing Hall of Fame candidates, they are relegated to a secondary role. The stats are presented and any strong playoff performer will be given kudos for it, but while it's very possible to get into the Hall with an average playoff record, the opposite is out of the question. The possible exception to this is goaltenders who very noticeably stepped up in the playoffs, to the extent this overshadowed any regular season shortcomings. I'm not here to lead a revolution against this status quo and open this particular can of worms. However, let's spend some time recognising some of the best playoff performers in VHL history who did not make it into the Hall of Fame. Valtteri Vaakanainen @Jubo As he approached retirement, I pondered whether Vaakanainen had deserved more recognition in the playoffs and if he had counteracted his solid but unspectacular regular season results (just over 600 points in 8 seasons, never clearing the 100-point mark, although four times scoring 40 goals or more). In truth, he was simply the first beneficiary of the 16-team era expanding playoffs such that there are simply more games to accumulate points in. Four trips to the finals (all sadly unsuccessful) meant Vaakanainen accumulated nearly 80 playoff appearances in half his career, a feat achieved by just 27 players in the VHL's first 70 seasons, but by 63 and counting since. Still, he sits seventh in all-time playoff points, behind Scotty Campbell of course but overtaken only by 4 contemporaries (including The Seabasstard, another potential option for this article) and modern day phenom Axle Gunner. Even more impressively Vaakanainen is still tied for fifth in goals with 52, Gunner being the only player to overtake him since his retirement. Whilst it doesn't stand out enough now that more players have joined the ranks, and the lack of championships and regular season success will work against him, it's still probably the most impressive non-HOF performance in the playoffs of the modern era, especially coming as it did before peak meta. Tyler Reinhart @Zetterberg and Zach Kisslinger II @Kisslinger Speaking of peak meta, that is the main reason I chose Vaakanainen over Seabasstard (a fellow perennial bridesmaid), but did want to highlight two point-per-game standouts. The leaders in that category are all in the Hall unless they had a very low amount of playoff appearances. Reinhart and Kisslinger have fairly low numbers for the modern age at 48 and 53 games played, respectively, but enough to not completely disregard their 1.42 PPG rate (joint 20th all time, including the various statistical outliers). What did work against them was being the beneficiaries of the meta, albeit in different ways. Reinhart only made the playoffs three times, but all were as part of Vancouver's threepeat, S81 being a particular inflationary post-season (Tyler got 31 points in 18 games but brother Jerome got nearly as many goals (28) as well as a record-breaking 52 points). The bigger caveat against him is of course the massive fall-off post meta – from 417 points in 4 seasons in Vancouver, to 97 points in his last three seasons (S83-S85). Kisslinger didn't actually get a massive post-season boost during meta (he was a rookie in S81 and only played 14 games, Warsaw failing to qualify in S82). The meta case against him, during a brief spell on the HOF ballot, was that he earned 215 of his 730 career regular season points as a rookie and sophomore (i.e. during meta), including his second season being the best of his career. Despite remaining a consistent scorer and a key player in Warsaw's S84 championship, Kisslinger couldn't defeat that argument. Tyler Cote @Ball From a controversial relatively recent era, to a man no one remembers apart from @CowboyinAmerica and @eaglesfan036 (it's OK, I'll get back to the modern day shortly). I did however want to give a shout-out to someone from a bygone age who hasn't been completely lost to time, with a very impressive 1.38 point-per-game rate in the playoffs (not far behind Kisslinger and Reinhart above) and that in 60 games. All but 11 of Cote's points came in three straight final runs with Calgary from S44 to S46, being named playoff MVP in the victorious campaign of S44, the first Kanou Trophy winner to be mentioned here. His regular season performances did let him down, with a career best of 95 points at a time when all the stars hit 100 on multiple occasions. Truly the trailblazer for future Vaakanainens, years ahead of his time. Rara Rasputin (me!) and Papa Emeritus @Beketov Enough about forwards though, let's give some recognition to the goalies. Specifically a pair which were early beneficiaries of more teams playing more playoff games, but also crushed by the meta era. Emeritus and Rasputin were even teammates in S80, Emeritus the backup while Rasputin came agonisingly close, a win away from stopping Vancouver's threepeat from ever starting. That was the last of Rasputin's four straight finals appearances, with a championship and playoff MVP in his first (S77) and consistently better performances than in the regular season (where he never cracked the .920 save percentage mark). Emeritus would take over the mantle with 4 trips to the finals in the next 5 seasons, all ending in defeat despite his best efforts. With 52 wins for Rasputin and 50 for Emeritus, they sit second and fifth all-time, with the rest of the stat line in line with past and present Hall of Famers. It's the regular season where they fell short, Rasputin's record mentioned above, while Emeritus got four post-meta seasons to rebuild his career stats but remains in HOF ballot purgatory in part because only one of those (S84) was truly outstanding. Siyan Yasilievich @badcolethetitan and Hari Singh Nalwa @Dil From goalies to defencemen, we have two more similar cases who overlapped for over half of their careers. With 89 and 88 playoff points respectively, Yasilievich and Nalwa sit in the top 8 among defencemen all-time, whilst Nalwa is the all-time leader in blocked shots, a category in which Yasilievich is seventh. Nalwa is one of a select list of four-time cup winners in VHL history, two to start his career with Vancouver and one to end it with London (playing alongside Yasilievich who won his only championship there), and a playoff MVP performance with Warsaw in between. So what's stopped them from induction? For Yasilievich, it's the big discrepancy between his step up in the post-season and just a steady and respectable regular season career. In an era of the likes of long-time teammate Jake Thunder and Brian Payne, he didn't stand out as one of the best and would have needed historic playoff heroics to make the ballot. Nalwa was on the ballot for a few seasons thanks to achieving more than a point per game but playing in the same era and the lack of regular season awards meant he did not survive the cull. Bo Johansson @Shindigs And finally, someone who is still on the ballot and has still been getting votes, to the point where the call may one day arrive. Johansson's career also largely overlapped with Yasilievich and Nalwa, and he outperformed both in the regular season, although not enough to sway all voters yet. Despite spending his career with Chicago who failed to make the finals in that generation, Johansson is also not hugely handicapped with his playoff record, where his 1.16 PPG mark in 55 games is actually the tenth-highest among defencemen all-time. Just like he keeps popping up in regular season conversations, Johansson was a surprise appearance here which maybe even boosts his case for induction.

Simon sleeps peacefully tonight.