Victor

what a goon

There's a few things that are staples of the VHL which remain in place in part because they are staples. For one, we have theme week – not actually a particularly old tradition when looking back at the whole history of the VHL, but a well-known recurring event in recent seasons. That concept has gotten quite some attention this season and genuinely needs a rethink. But we also have VHL.com articles – these have been in place since 2007. Fan590s is what they were called once upon a time, they used to be 1 TPE for 150-200 words and now they're two. They're not difficult to write but they are annoying. There's been some criticism of them in the past as well, namely the fact that, like I am feeling this week, they are sometimes difficult to have a good idea for. Something really worth writing about needs a higher word count, while the incentive to put genuine effort into it is low. I would propose we don't get rid of the VHL.com article, but we add a bit more flexibility to capped TPE. If the cap is 12 and a Media Spot is worth 6, why are we limited to just one per week? If I have two good ideas, why should I wait an extra week to write an article about the second? Or if I have two really good ideas, why not write 2,000 words one week, claim 12 TPE one week and 12 TPE the next, and then have another 2,000 word article to cover 2 more weeks. Or, if I feel like spreading the TPE out more, I can still do a 4-week claim and go back to the VHL.com well. But added optionality would be helpful.

Bolding the key words repeatedly, interesting....

I think I'm borderline fed up with theme week as a concept in general, but not helped by this one being so dull.

It's tough for a guy to be constrained by the limitations of a theme week, especially one so narrow in its interpretation. Tough guy? You think you're tough, guy? Not as tough as a theme week about tough guys. How many variations of the same article are we being forced to write and read, all to satiate the apparently unrelenting appetite of the theme week gods? There is no tougher gig for a guy than to be forced to write about tough guys, other than perhaps to write about tough guys without writing about them at all. Tough as it is on my newly-found belief in the importance of freedom of expression and creativity, I do welcome a clear direction for this week, and depending on the length of this article, perhaps for several additional weeks to follow. My running list of article ideas has been slowly but surely being whittled away to such an extent that there's barely anything left on it, and some of the ideas that are left are not even particularly good or inspiring ones. That said, I will not wallow in this misery, I don't need a shoulder to cry on, I will not be that guy. Tough as that was to write, at least that paragraph had largely formed in my head before I wrote it. This one, on the other hand, is complete free-form. I type as I think and I think as I type, set themes be damned. Who said a tough guy had to be a VHL player and not a VHL idea, a VHL concept, a VHL dream? Is the toughest guy in the league not one who grinds out an article week after week, without relenting, without stopping to look and appreciate all that's gone on before and all that's gone on around him? How many words have I put to virtual paper over the years? Millions, at the very least, maybe more. Some lost in the ether of old forums and deleted subforums. Some still there, readily available to be read and consumed by no one other than internet scraping machines, rattling away with their digital parts creaking and screeching, a helpless cry heard by no one but the inhabitants of the dark web. After all, what does it matter what I wrote a week, a month, a decade ago? Just some words put on the internet by some guy. Tough luck to those who thought the bit could only last a couple paragraphs. Aye, I am doubling down, with every sentence I feel stronger and more empowered than the previous. Tough guys? Don't make me laugh. In a league which incessantly complains about the limitations of a sim engine when assessing defensive performances, where the Boulet discussion invariably and inevitably boils down to looking at hits and penalty minutes, you want me to dedicate 500 words (or more!) to discussing hits and penalty minutes? Spare me. How many hits have been dished out over the seasons? Millions? How many pucks have been lost a a result of them? Slightly fewer. How many penalty minutes served as a result? An imperceptible amount. Perhaps those scraping machines could answer that question. Not one that can be calculated by a mere mortal guy. Tough, isn't it? You're growing weary, dear reader. “You've got your 500 words,” I hear you cry, “Please, stop, no more.” Too late, I thunder in response. The rage deep inside me, that I didn't even know was there, is what is fuelling me now. One week of TPE is insufficient for the mental gymnastics I've forced myself through. This may have to go all the way to 2,000 to justify the idea. Terrible theme weeks breed terrible submissions and terrible submissions... well, you're still here aren't you? What search engine are you from? Where would you like this work published? Google, Yahoo, Bing? Some other backwater website only used by one guy? This was fun, in an odd, deeply disturbing kind of way. On reflection I've decided I don't need two weeks of article here because logistically it's better for me to write a multi-week claim next week. Otherwise I would have still been going, believe me on that. Fuck your theme week, tough guy.

At least make him not green smh

Crowd sourcing and end up with the worst idea of the lot. Tommy Sleeves has never felt the love he'll feel this week.

Not ranked - @Frank @Alex - anyone with a first name only is automatically DQ'd, what the hell kinda boring ass username is that? Bottom - @Banackock - obscene name, this is a family friendly website and you've got phallic imagery in a GM's username 2nd bottom - @Baby Boomer - tanked the economy and blames the kids for it Tied for 3rd worst - @LucyXpher @badcolethetitan and @leandrofg - only narrowly better than Frank and Alex Next - @v.2 - v2 of what? Why did you put a . in the middle this time around? @McLovin - DQd if that's your real name. Ranked here for trying to forge a name to buy alcohol if it's not. Pick your poison. @STZ - what are you, STD for gen Z? @qripll and @dstevensonjr - bad spelling / grammar @Tetricide - no complaints about username, putting you firmly in the top 4. However, you're struggling to make the playoffs. @InstantRockstar - win a cup ffs @Spartan - job hogger Least bad - @N0HBDY. Which is fitting. You're all terribly so nobody is the best. None of you are fit to polish Bushito's shoelaces. Go back to the VHLM. Dishonourable mention - @Ricer13

I guess I should have retired on you instead knowing how much you love that.

We are so back

week 2 of 2

THE MIGHTY ICE WIZARD REMAINS UNDEFEATED

Let's go

Tis Sunday and I have had no time to write something for TPE. Here we go. Del Rocco continues to underperform his TPE levels to the point where early retirement may well be on the cards especially if a championship arrives soon- can't be losing that streak at least. No huge surprises in the league standings after that flurry of offseason excitement, everyone is largely where you'd expect them to be after all the trades and we more or less can see that all will be decided in close battles in the playoffs again. There is very limited content to bounce off of although always a sprinkling of quality pieces throughout the week so I'm not concern but not exactly invigorated either. I don't know how to do a word count on my phone and it's too late to find out now so hopefully that's vaguely enough and if not I'll have to edit it tomorrow. Thurs update: A few delayed words more to point out wow, it is such a breath of fresh air to not wake up to a sim today. It's like stepping in a time machine and travelling back to 2015. More of this please @Beketov!

I record myself scrolling through the sim game logs and then rewatch it in slow motion, does that count?