Alucard

I am rooting for you (for completely unselfish reasons!!)
 
FUCK YA NEZ!!

Good news, guys! I'm back! In your face, life/college/habitual masturba never mind...

Hey guys,
 
I am alive, despite my recent absence. Real life is a bitch. I'll be more active in about a week or so.

Hey guys!
 
Sorry I haven't been around; college is nearly back and I have shit to do before going back because I didn't do it last year when I was supposed to.

good read on bad players

Year of the Goalie
VHL.com, 23/08
 
With the current season drawing to a close, the attention of many has already turned to the upcoming VHL Entry Draft. This season's class is a curious one, with as many as three netminders being widely regarded as solid first round picks. While it remains to be seen where and when each of these bright prospects will go, VHL.com takes a look at the goalies in question.
 
1. Greg Clegane (Yukon Rush)
Save %: .900
GAA: 1.56
Shutouts: 17
 
Probably the highest rated prospect in the entire draft class, Yukon goaltender Greg Clegane has had a rookie season to remember. Over 72 regular season games he played more minutes than any other goalie in the league, and his GAA of 1.56 ranked him at third in the league. While he is regarded by many as the best player in his class, his GAA was actually lower than that of either Weinstein or his brother Sandro.
 
2. Ariel Weinstein (Saskatoon Wild)
Save %: .910
GAA: 1.27
Shutouts: 24
 
Whilst the Clegane brothers have drawn plaudits for a variety of reasons, Saskatoon goaltender Ariel Weinstein looks set to end the season with both praise and silverware, as the Wild sit two games to the good in their VHLM Final series against the Oslo Storm. Weinstein led the league in regular season shutouts and GAA, and his performances have been such that even those who claim that any goaltender would succeed with Saskatoon would not deny his talent.
 
3. Sandro Clegane (Oslo Storm)
Save %: .916
GAA: 1.30
Shutouts: 21
 
Brother of Greg, Oslo goaltender Sandro Clegane has arguably had an even more memorable season than his sibling. While the Rush were eliminated by the Wild in the Conference Final, Sandro and his Storm teammates marched all the way to the Playoff Finals with a riveting 4–3 victory over the Bratislava Watchmen. Despite being thought of as the third best goaltender in the class at the beginning of the season, Clegane's performances with the Storm this season have been amongst the most impressive of all players in the league. Numerous were the games when Oslo relied upon his heroics, and no goalie in the league managed a better save percentage.  
The Also-Rans
The other goalies up for selection in this season's draft will be the Bern Royals' Ryan Price, the Ottawa Lynx's Teuvo Rinne, and the Brampton Blades' Filip Lundqvist. Most impressive of these three during S44 was Rinne, who—despite facing more shots than any goaltender in the league (2446)—managed to put up a very respectable save percentage of .904. He also put up more shutouts (5) than either Price or Lundqvist (2), and in many regards was one of the shining lights of a miserable season for the Lynx.
 
Price lost 50 of the 59 games he played in, though he did manage to maintain a 100% record against penalty shots, albeit against only 5. As for Lundqvist, he played only 839 minutes during the regular season, but did win 9 of the 14 games in which he started. His draft stock will certainly be effected by his lack of ice time, and his true potential may not become apparent until S45.

From the VHL.com forums, after game 1 of the Oslo–Bratislava series:
 
Are you shitting me? How the hell did we not win tonight's game?! Thirty-four shots to TWELVE, and we still manage to lose? Am I the only one who's suspicious about Coca Cola not taking his mask off? That was some Carey Price shit out there; are we sure that was even Cola in goal?
—an irate Storm fan.
 
This is actually a possibility. Seriously, we battered them in the regular season, and then Cola's pulling off Price-esque saves? Suspicious to say the least. The league should investigate this shit.
—Storm fan, conspiracy theorist.
 
You guys are full of shit. Do you even listen to yourself when you talk? Or do you just kind of drift in and out? Carey Price playing for Bratislava... you guys need a reality check.
—Someone who's not full of shit.
 
Whatever dude. Your mom needs a reality check. The bottom line is that whoever's in goal for Bratislava can't pull off this superhero shit four games in a row. We'll bounce back in game 2—mark my word.
—Storm fan.
 
Sing it with me: Wrong wrong wrong wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wroooooong. Same shit in game 2.
—Storm fan from the future.

Getting to Know... Evgeny Nezhmetdinov
VHL.com
 
Talented Kazak winger Evgeny Nezhmetdinov has had an impressive first season with the Oslo Storm, and is likely to be one player who will attract a lot of interest ahead of the S45 VHL Entry Draft, but who is the tricky little fucker? This week on Getting to Know... we caught up with Nezhmetdinov after training one day, and ran him through the usual series of random questions. We even gave him some cake to loosen his tongue.
 

 
 
VHL: Welcome Evgeny! Can we call you Nez?
 
Nez: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
 
VHL: All right, Susan it is! So, Susan... we're going to dive right into the deep end. Would you rather have a head the size of tennis ball, or a watermelon?
 
Nez: So my choices are that I get a head the size of a tennis ball, or I get a watermelon? Watermelon, please.
 
VHL: Hmmm... you're a bit of a smart ass, aren't you? I'll have to keep my eye on you. Nezt question!
 
Nez: That was terrible.
 
VHL: I know. I couldn't resist. Next question: what was the last thing you listened to?
 
Nez: I was listening to Creedance Clearwater Revival in the car... but in the gym I was listening to Zyklon.
 
VHL: And the last thing you read?
 
Nez: H.P. Lovecraft—At the Mountains of Madness.
  VHL: Did it drive you mad?
 
Nez: No, not really. I like Lovecraft though; The Rats in the Walls is one of my favourite short stories.
 
VHL: Cool. What was the last thing you watched?
 
Nez: I can't tell you that now. This is bat country.
 
VHL: Ahh, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?
 
Nez: Yeah, great film.
 
VHL: It is indeed! And the last person you kissed?
 
Nez: Your mother?
  VHL: I walked into that one... how's the cake?
 
Nez: Good. It's tasty. Not as tasty as your uh... next question?
  VHL: Next question. Pineapple on pizza?
 
Nez: Shit yeah.
  VHL: What are your plans for the future?
 
Nez: Really? You're just going to spring that on me after 'pineapple on pizza'? I don't know, man. I'm just looking forward to the play-offs right now, and when they're done I'm sure the draft will be super crazy. Beyond that... I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing, and hopefully I'll have a good career in the VHL.
 
VHL: All right, well we're well over our word count now, so I guess that's that! Thanks for talking to us, Susan.
 
Nez: No problem.

Seventh Heaven: Oslo Storm Past Moscow
VHLM Game 268
 

Wesley Babiy got Oslo off to the perfect start in Moscow, as the Storm ran riot against their divisional rivals.
 
The Red Wolves were left bloodied and bruised after game 268 of the regular season as European Conference leaders Oslo hit them for seven in an overwhelmingly one-sided game. Second liners Evgeny Nezhmetdinov and Wesley Babiy were the stand-out performers, each accumulating four points and claiming the first and second stars on the night. The game marked the first time this season that the Storm have scored seven goals, and brings their total against the Red Wolves to forty for the season.
 
Both sides came into the game having already secured a play-off birth, with the visitors having already clinched the conference title. If Oslo have had a problem this season it has to be their lack of goals in comparison with the overall standings leaders Saskatoon and Yukon. Even Brampton and Bratislava—both of whom currently sit 22 points adrift of the Storm—have scored more goals, but this was a night when everything came together for Oslo's offensive units.
 
The Norwegian outfit fielded a second line consisting of Hunter Backenbauer and the rookie pairing of Wesley Babiy and Evgeny Nezhmetdinov, and no sooner had they set foot upon the ice than the forward trio had combined to give Oslo the perfect start, with Wesley Babiy providing the final touch on  a slick, free-flowing move for his fourteenth goal of the season.
 
The visitors dominated the opening phases of the game, though they did survive a scare on seven minutes as Moscow's Stumppell Aurinkoinen Jr. hit the post with a fierce drive from the point. Just shy of the twelve minute mark Oslo gained their second powerplay of the night, and took just ten seconds to make the extra man pay. Babiy and Giovanni Reuel picked up the assists on a crackling shot by Sup Hot Fire that was past Lenny Face in the Moscow goal before the netminder even saw it. Moscow came back into the game thereafter, but at the buzzer they found themselves down by three, as Romanowski and Nezhmetdinov combined to set up Hunter Backenbauer.
 
The hosts could easily have been disheartened going in at the break, but a late penalty gave them cause for hope, and they began the second period with a man advantage. When the goal came twenty seconds in there was no surprise as to who was responsible: top scorer Jace Hines netted for the Red Wolves, and Moscow suddenly had a path back into the game.
 
The sides were evenly matched over the course of the following twenty minutes, but a series of penalties gave Oslo more time on the powerplay, and the hosts had their goaltender to thank for keeping them in touch. Midway through the period they capitalised on Face's heroics, as Tomas Andersson set up Santi Piñeiro for the Red Wolves' second. The home fans were revitalised, and the comeback looked well and truly on. At the buzzer the score was only 3–2, but what transpired in the opening phase of the third period lead to an outflux of of supporters from the arena.
 
With the second line having taken most of the plaudits over the first two periods, Giovanni Reuel stepped up for the first line and struck twice in the first three minutes of the third, with centre Le'Sean Coutzen picking up an assist on both goals. It was a whirlwind start to the period for Oslo, and they weren't finished there. Two minutes after Reuel completed his brace the second line were at it again, with Babiy picking up his second assist of the game on a Evgeny Nezhmetdinov goal, his twenty-fifth of the season.
 
The Red Wolves were shell-shocked, and as the period progressed they never really threatened Clegane's goal. The Storm recorded twenty-four shots in the period, and five minutes before the final buzzer they had their seventh—the first time they have hit that number all season. Babiy was involved again, picking up his fourth point of the night as he set up Nezhmetdinov for his fourth point of the night. Oliver Cleary picked up a consolation for the hosts before the night was done, but at the final buzzer the score Oslo 7 Moscow 3. If the Storm hope to upset either Yukon or Saskatoon and claim the championship for themselves come the post-season, they will need young stars Babiy and Nezhmetdinov to continue their good form to supplement the top line of Coutzen, Reuel and Perron.
 
1st Star: Evgeny Nezhmetdinov (G: 2 A: 2 Pts: 4 +/-: 3)
2nd Star: Wesley Babiy (G: 1 A: 3 Pts: 4 +/-: 3)
3rd Star: Giovanni Reuel (G: 2 A: 1 Pts: 3 +/-: 2)

Edition 92
 
Alucard can claim 1 more tpe for his article !

Thank you! I haven't laughed so hard at anything in days! The very idea that we could attract a player of Müller's calibre...

We can be the Teen Line, cause we are both young and were drafted in the teens.  And we have bad tan lines, which sounds like teen line.

It's a drop that's more a formality, your percentage of time is about the same, plus you now have Backenbauer fully on your line so he should score and let you rack up the assists

I'd like to be a part of the lottery; could I get the numbers 2–8–5 please?

You could always start a smear campaign about me 
"Oh yeah, that Nezhmetdinov guy... I hear he uh... puts babies on spikes..." 

The Nez Big Thing
27 July, VHLM.com
 

Oslo Storm winger Evgeny Nezhmetdinov has been making waves in the VHLM this season
 
With the VHLM season having now passed the mid-way point, GMs from the VHL will be casting a scrutinous eye over all of those players who are eligible for the S45 VHL Entry Draft. One player who has been making sizeable waves in recent weeks is the young Kazakh sensation, Evgeny Nezhmetdinov. After an inconsistent start to the season, the winger has since found his form and has contributed 13 points in his last 8 games.
 
Over the course of his first 24 games in the VHLM, Nezhmetdinov scored just 11 points; a disappointing beginning for a player who arrived in Oslo with potential superstar reputation. His ability to handle the puck was never in doubt—he showed flashes of brilliance from game 1 against Ottawa—but his end product had some Storm fans questioning whether or not he should be playing on the top line ahead of the prolific Giovanni Reuel. At one point he went eleven games without scoring, but still there were other Storm fans who were calling for patience, claiming that Nezhmetdinov should be allowed time to settle in to a league where the preferred style of hockey is more physically demanding than that played in his native Kazakhstan. His performances in recent weeks will have left those fans feeling completely justified, and his doubters must be excited to have been proved wrong.
 
With 24 points in his last 25 games, the pacy winger is now looking very much like a potential first round pick, and those close to him have spoken glowingly of his dedication to training. He currently leads all Oslo Storm players in plus/minus (+31), and his 6 game-winning goals (tied for 5th in the league) shows that the diminutive forward can come up big when it counts. It also seems that playing alongside Le’Sean Coutzen has benefitted him in unforeseen ways; for a player with a reputation as a creator, Nezhmetdinov has relatively few assists (18), and one wonders if the respect that opposing teams have for Coutzen has allowed Nezhmetdinov more time and freedom to find space and to find the net. He has scored 17 goals this season, and—more impressively—ranks 5th in the league in shot percentage.
 

Nezhmetdinov turns on the afterburners vs Ottawa
 
By far the most impressive performance that the young forward has put in this season was in the Storm’s 6–3 win in Ottawa, which saw him awarded the game’s First Star after contributing 2 goals and 3 assists. He almost single-handedly picked the Lynx apart, having a hand in all but one of his side’s goals on the night. In addition to this, he has had six 2-point games to his name (all but one coming in the last 25 games), and two 3-point games (both of which have come in his last 11 games), and only a fool would bet against him upping those numbers by the season’s end. What is clear is this: Nezhmetdinov has settled into life in Oslo, and his performances are continuing to improve. He now looks far and away the best winger in the draft, and while the likes of Hamilton, Kyanon, Weinstein, and the Cleganes may rank ahead of him, he may well be the first port of call for any team in need of offensive reinforcements.
 
(551 words)

Even the Asians have turned on you Fong. Your own people.

Episode #11
 

 
Featured Players: Evgeny Nezhmetdinov
 
Member Names:  Alucard
 
Run Time: 9 minutes
 
Previous Episodes:
#10
#9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1

I should fire you for those gigantic pictures.

This isn't transfer news, but it's definitely something that Liverpool fans will appreciate! A bit of unreal banter from the interwebs.
 
1. Riise's after getting "You'll Never Walk Alone" tattooed on his leg: https://instagram.com/p/5XUo7FHgfS/
2. Check out Didi's epic response: https://twitter.com/DietmarHamann/status/623168137891061760

This isn't transfer news, but it's definitely something that Liverpool fans will appreciate! A bit of unreal banter from the interwebs.
 
1. Riise's after getting "You'll Never Walk Alone" tattooed on his leg: https://instagram.com/p/5XUo7FHgfS/
2. Check out Didi's epic response: https://twitter.com/DietmarHamann/status/623168137891061760

Quietly effective, my favourite kind.

Yeah, that was my bad. Don't you love it when you miss a mistake that makes enough sense for the spelling and grammar check to miss as well?

The Growth of the Cucumber
VHLM Weekly, 19 July
 

 
With five points in his last five games, Kazakh teenager Evgeny Nezhmetdinov appears to be growing into his role as creator-in-chief for the Oslo Storm. This week VHLM Weekly analyses the early season growth of this exciting prospect.
 
Excellent draft selections have seen the Storm get off to a flying star in S44, with top pick Le'Sean Coutzen standing out as one of the best players in the league. Oslo's second pick, goalie Sandro Clegane, has been instrumental in building a formidable defensive record for the side that currently sit top of the European division. Another rookie, Giovanni Reuel, has also been in sensational form for the Norwegians, but it is the rise in form of Nezhmetdinov that will worry the Storm's rivals, who could be forgiven for hoping that the current #1 side in the VHLM's European division would not be able to maintain their current form for the full regular season campaign.
 
Drafted fifteenth overall, Nezhmetdinov came into the league with as a reputed trickster, and an excellent puck-handler. With three points in his first three starts, the affectionately dubbed 'Cucumber' of Kazakhstan looked set to be another inspirational draft choice, but after those opening three games the winger went eleven games before scoring again. While Coutzen and Reuel were racking up point after point, Nezhmetdinov appeared to be struggling to cope with the physical side of playing in the VHLM. Since netting a goal in a 4–3 loss to the Saskatoon Wild, however, Kiyar has gone on to pick up eleven points in fourteen games, including five in his last five. If this increase in productivity can be maintained, the Storm will be able to boast another weapon amongst their already formidable arsenal.
 
In his last five appearances Nezhmetdinov has contributed five points to an Oslo attack which has been seen to grow more productive as their players have had time to gel. Only league leaders Saskatoon have boasted as formidable a defence as the Storm, and that dogged reluctance to let up goals has been a key factor in their rise to the top. Rookie goaltender Sandro Clegane has been in sparkling form, leading the league in save percentage, GAA, and shutouts. With a strong defensive foundation already well established, it is Oslo's offence which is now beginning to draw attention, with Nezhmetdinov's form is a contributing factor.
 
A 3–1 victory against the Yukon Rush saw Nezhmetdinov record two assists, further bolstering his blossoming reputation as a playmaking winger. In the following game against the Brampton Blades, Nezhmetdinov netted the winner in a 2–1 victory that saw the Storm retain their place at the top of the division, as well as keeping in touch with Saskatoon and Yukon, the leading sides in the North American division. The following game saw the Storm pitted against the Rush once more, and the battle of the Clegane's saw a low-scoring encounter which ended in a 1–1 tie, before the Rush nicked a win in a shootout. Nezhmetdinov had a solid game, and one can hardly fault his lack of point-scoring given the excellent goaltending on display.
 
Against Ottawa Nezhmetdinov was back on the scoresheet, with a goal and an assist on a Le'Sean Coutzen goal, the latter of which came on the powerplay. This another reason why Nezhmetdinov's improved productivity could prove key for the Storm: the winger plays on the first and fourth lines, but also on the top powerplay line, where productivity can be the difference between victory and defeat. He currently leads the Storm roster with a +/- of 17, and has a respectable shot percentage of 10.29. Only the impressive Reuel and Coutzen have logged more game-winning goals than the Kazakh, and another notable statistic is the frequency with which he is avoiding fights. An early season flourish of aggression saw the winger clock up twenty penalty minutes for fighting alone, but recent weeks have seen his PIM diminish as his point-scoring increases. If the last few weeks are anything to go by, Nezhmetdinov's early season difficulties seem to be falling behind him, and the future holds great promise for this exciting talent, and in turn for fans of the Oslo Storm. 

what is dead may never die
It can only come back STRONGer