Stoffiday

Great job @oilmandan!! Proud of you!! 

Great job @oilmandan!! Proud of you!! 

The successful applicant will be announced this evening.
That being said; if anyone else wishes to apply please make sure to do so in the next few hours.

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for this one. I've wanted to learn about being a GM, and I feel like this would be a great place to start. It'd be nice to come home to Vegas for a while.
 
Regarding my credentials:
 
I'm an avid, rabid hockey fan (Go Golden Knights) and I have a great veracity for learning new things.
I spend about 3-4 hours on the forums a day, and countless hours on our Discord server.
I am currently the starting goalie for the Yukon Rush, and actually grew up (Character and Real life) in Las Vegas.
I hope that you please consider me for this role!

I'll nominate myself for the AGM position 

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for this one. I've wanted to learn about being a GM, and I feel like this would be a great place to start. It'd be nice to come home to Vegas for a while.
 
Regarding my credentials:
 
I'm an avid, rabid hockey fan (Go Golden Knights) and I have a great veracity for learning new things.
I spend about 3-4 hours on the forums a day, and countless hours on our Discord server.
I am currently the starting goalie for the Yukon Rush, and actually grew up (Character and Real life) in Las Vegas.
I hope that you please consider me for this role!

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for this one. I've wanted to learn about being a GM, and I feel like this would be a great place to start. It'd be nice to come home to Vegas for a while.
 
Regarding my credentials:
 
I'm an avid, rabid hockey fan (Go Golden Knights) and I have a great veracity for learning new things.
I spend about 3-4 hours on the forums a day, and countless hours on our Discord server.
I am currently the starting goalie for the Yukon Rush, and actually grew up (Character and Real life) in Las Vegas.
I hope that you please consider me for this role!

Yellow River Ale
Have you ever thought that your beer just didn't taste just quite right? Did you ever take that oh so anticipated first sip, and have a cool, crisp, refreshing taste of beer, that was just what you wanted? Have you ever wanted a beer that was actually in between those two, but for a more affordable price? Introducing: Yellow River Ale, the only beer on the market that prides itself by being named after its most well known by-product: a trip to the bathroom! Now, you might be asking yourself, do I really want to try this beer? Well the selling point, is that we'll put all of your favorite VHLM team logos on the side, that's right, just the Yukon Rush logo. Get your Yellow River Ale, the official beer of the Yukon Rush, today!
 
Just a Pick Me Up Over-The-Counter Get-Goer
At a certain point, every VHL career starts to drag a little bit, and that's ok! There's plenty of ways the league approves of players staying sharp, and not depreciating their TPE, but they sure aren't cheap! If you pay $10,000,000 on not losing TPE, how are you going to afford to drive around those hotties in a new Maseratti? The answer you've been searching for, is here! The Just a Pick Me Up Over-The-Counter Get-Goer is a totally not yet banned by the VHL substance which will make your skate quicker, jump higher, shoot stronger, and punch harder. That's not all, The Just a Pick Me Up Over-The-Counter Get-Goer is 100% performance enhancing, and a sure-fire way to get you top line minutes, while putting in just as much effort. The Just a Pick Me Up Over-The-Counter Get-Goer may or may not be steroids, and should be taken at a player's own risk.
 
Australian Snake Wranglers
The Australian Snake Wranglers are proud to be sponsors of the VHL this upcoming season, mates. The ASW are a group who pride themselves on keeping the best and finest people safe, and they do that by wrangling up those dirty snakes in Toronto the Wilderness, and safely bring them to retirement a safe place. Take for example the ever dangerous Tavares Black Mamba, with a bite that could give you the heebee geebees, and a wicked fast chomper, you better watch out for those buggers. Just when you think your safe, and your team will be able to compete for a Cup, your best player may betray the fans  fanbase is overrun by a snake Armageddon, and your team essentially has to start all over again. Had the snakes politely asked to be traded, by the Australian Snake Wranglers, perhaps your home wouldn't be in shambles, but they're dirty dirty creatures those snakes. 

Official Brands of the Yukon Rush

 
Northern Exposure Sunscreen:
 
 Any self-respecting fan knows it gets cold and sunny here in the six months out of the year when the sun never sets! No one knows this better than YOUR Yukon Rush, so the Rush turn to Northern Exposure Sunscreen.
 
This patent-pending formula is tested on seals and various types of wild fowl, so you can ensure its safety for human consumption! Feel the cool, crisp, and refreshing tingle of over 25 minutes of complete coverage!
 
Our SPF50 formula leaves you feeling fresh, and ready to RUSH into action, whether at work, or play! If you want to protect your skin, and feel the RUSH! Get Northern Exposure Sunscreen, The Official Sunscreen of YOUR Yukon Rush!
 
*Product Not Yet Available in the Yukon Territory.*

 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips:
 
 
“I’m starving!!” Timmy would say, as he wiped sweat from his brow. He had been playing hockey with a rock and a PVC pipe he pulled from his neighbor’s irrigation system.
 
Fear not Billy! “It’s Ti-”  SNACK ON THESE!
 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips!
 
“Blubber Chips?”
 
Yes! Blubber Chips!  
 
These chips, with their cool, clean consistency, are made from real polar bear blubber! You’ll be begging Mom for more! That’s why they’re the official snack food of YOUR Yukon Rush, and officially endorsed by starting Goalie, Rhett Stoffiday!
 
“I never agre-” Haha, thanks Rhett! So get your hands on some Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Nuggets…. TODAY!
 
“When your feeling starved, don’t look to far, and whistle for The Cap’n!”
 
“These taste like extinction!”




 
Bearskin-
 
 Ever been cold?
 
Ever been sitting, watching TV with a bag of cheetos naked in a folding chair?
 
No?
 
Oh well, YOU NEED BEARSKIN!
 
Made from the same pelt used in the movie “The Revenant” by Leonardo DiCaprio, This pelt will keep you as warm as a man who was mauled by a bear!
 
Bearskin is the official bear...skin….sponsor of YOUR Yukon Rush! This patented system keeps heat in, and gives you that “trapped under a large woodland creature” feeling all day!
 
Yes, for just 4 easy payments of 24.27 CAD, this pelt can be yours!
 
If you act right now, we’ll throw in this Beaver Pelt absolutely free! Feel like a true “RUSHER” with BEAR SKIN!

Official Brands of the Yukon Rush

 
Northern Exposure Sunscreen:
 
 Any self-respecting fan knows it gets cold and sunny here in the six months out of the year when the sun never sets! No one knows this better than YOUR Yukon Rush, so the Rush turn to Northern Exposure Sunscreen.
 
This patent-pending formula is tested on seals and various types of wild fowl, so you can ensure its safety for human consumption! Feel the cool, crisp, and refreshing tingle of over 25 minutes of complete coverage!
 
Our SPF50 formula leaves you feeling fresh, and ready to RUSH into action, whether at work, or play! If you want to protect your skin, and feel the RUSH! Get Northern Exposure Sunscreen, The Official Sunscreen of YOUR Yukon Rush!
 
*Product Not Yet Available in the Yukon Territory.*

 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips:
 
 
“I’m starving!!” Timmy would say, as he wiped sweat from his brow. He had been playing hockey with a rock and a PVC pipe he pulled from his neighbor’s irrigation system.
 
Fear not Billy! “It’s Ti-”  SNACK ON THESE!
 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips!
 
“Blubber Chips?”
 
Yes! Blubber Chips!  
 
These chips, with their cool, clean consistency, are made from real polar bear blubber! You’ll be begging Mom for more! That’s why they’re the official snack food of YOUR Yukon Rush, and officially endorsed by starting Goalie, Rhett Stoffiday!
 
“I never agre-” Haha, thanks Rhett! So get your hands on some Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Nuggets…. TODAY!
 
“When your feeling starved, don’t look to far, and whistle for The Cap’n!”
 
“These taste like extinction!”




 
Bearskin-
 
 Ever been cold?
 
Ever been sitting, watching TV with a bag of cheetos naked in a folding chair?
 
No?
 
Oh well, YOU NEED BEARSKIN!
 
Made from the same pelt used in the movie “The Revenant” by Leonardo DiCaprio, This pelt will keep you as warm as a man who was mauled by a bear!
 
Bearskin is the official bear...skin….sponsor of YOUR Yukon Rush! This patented system keeps heat in, and gives you that “trapped under a large woodland creature” feeling all day!
 
Yes, for just 4 easy payments of 24.27 CAD, this pelt can be yours!
 
If you act right now, we’ll throw in this Beaver Pelt absolutely free! Feel like a true “RUSHER” with BEAR SKIN!

@Pierogi Tuxedo

Rogue Squadron 
 
All Wings Report In! The greater VHL universe has been plagued by tyranny and oppression for far too long. The OBC-Supremacy has long since threatened the very fabric of the VHL. The legacy of Rogue Squadron runs deep in the VHL meme lore databanks and just like as then, we now must band together like a group of rebels to face down our diabolical overlords. Other brands may sell you on their affinity to a history long since irrelevant, but they still live within the confines of the mighty Darth Draper himself. We've obtained battle plans for a mighty weapon that the Supremacy has been rumored to of been working on for nearly 20 seasons. Code-named the VHL Portal, this devise device is said to have the power to destroy VHL teams right from their core. The travesty known as the Cologne Express Massacre was only the beginning. Please join to help us now, you're our only hope. 
 
 
DST Squad
 
Are you a VHL athlete that travels a lot? Who doesn't when a European schedule comes a long. With all the hustle and bustle of your busy hockey life, it can be easy to lose track of time. Things get even more complicated when you have to start transitioning to different time zones. Our state of the art all in one athlete equipment solution is the first of it's kind, and manages your entire life both on and off the rink. Once equipped, you'll be synced with the premiere new timezone exclusive to our authentic athletes known as Da-Trifecta Standard Time. While synced, you'll be able to effectively dominate the competition using our proven method of vibrating at entirely higher frequency. Gang gang and become one with the DST Squad!
 
 
Vasteras Iron Eagles
 
As the old saying goes...what is dead may never die and metal birds will always fly. Vasteras may not of been able to hack it as a regular team in the VHL or VHLM, I mean probably worst franchise ever in the history of ever. Like ever. But hey, we had our loyal followers. We did good, like once or twice or maybe three times in our entire history. But we certainly tried. So now, with brands? We get to try again! Support the Vasteras Iron Eagle brand to build the narrative on the longest most drawn out underdog story ever. With your help, we can turn the awful #FuckVasteras meme back on the haters, as it'll finally be time for #VasterasFucksYou. 
 

Official Brands of the Yukon Rush

 
Northern Exposure Sunscreen:
 
 Any self-respecting fan knows it gets cold and sunny here in the six months out of the year when the sun never sets! No one knows this better than YOUR Yukon Rush, so the Rush turn to Northern Exposure Sunscreen.
 
This patent-pending formula is tested on seals and various types of wild fowl, so you can ensure its safety for human consumption! Feel the cool, crisp, and refreshing tingle of over 25 minutes of complete coverage!
 
Our SPF50 formula leaves you feeling fresh, and ready to RUSH into action, whether at work, or play! If you want to protect your skin, and feel the RUSH! Get Northern Exposure Sunscreen, The Official Sunscreen of YOUR Yukon Rush!
 
*Product Not Yet Available in the Yukon Territory.*

 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips:
 
 
“I’m starving!!” Timmy would say, as he wiped sweat from his brow. He had been playing hockey with a rock and a PVC pipe he pulled from his neighbor’s irrigation system.
 
Fear not Billy! “It’s Ti-”  SNACK ON THESE!
 
Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Chips!
 
“Blubber Chips?”
 
Yes! Blubber Chips!  
 
These chips, with their cool, clean consistency, are made from real polar bear blubber! You’ll be begging Mom for more! That’s why they’re the official snack food of YOUR Yukon Rush, and officially endorsed by starting Goalie, Rhett Stoffiday!
 
“I never agre-” Haha, thanks Rhett! So get your hands on some Captain Montgomery’s Blubber Nuggets…. TODAY!
 
“When your feeling starved, don’t look to far, and whistle for The Cap’n!”
 
“These taste like extinction!”




 
Bearskin-
 
 Ever been cold?
 
Ever been sitting, watching TV with a bag of cheetos naked in a folding chair?
 
No?
 
Oh well, YOU NEED BEARSKIN!
 
Made from the same pelt used in the movie “The Revenant” by Leonardo DiCaprio, This pelt will keep you as warm as a man who was mauled by a bear!
 
Bearskin is the official bear...skin….sponsor of YOUR Yukon Rush! This patented system keeps heat in, and gives you that “trapped under a large woodland creature” feeling all day!
 
Yes, for just 4 easy payments of 24.27 CAD, this pelt can be yours!
 
If you act right now, we’ll throw in this Beaver Pelt absolutely free! Feel like a true “RUSHER” with BEAR SKIN!

I know it, the interviewer wanted to really drive that point home.

Congratulations @Trifecta! 

While not open as long as some want, I believe an ample amount of time has been given considering if someone were to be hired, they’d have to be active enough to apply within a specific amount of time here. We want the transition to go quick and smooth, thus, a decision has been made.
 
Congrats to @Trifecta. I, as I’m sure the GM’s too, look forward to working with you. 
 
@.sniffuM @Will @Beketov

Guys, Guys! I brought sandwiches!

I'm just over here enjoying my snacks, watching this unfold.

Sports Center Theme
 
Good evening, my name is Obviously Bluffing, and here’s our top story.
As Hurricane Florence pummels the Eastern Seaboard, an unlikely beacon of hope is bringing help and healing to the families affected. Here’s Dubious Intentions with more!
 
Graphic Change
 
You wouldn’t really expect it, but Rhett Stoffiday of the Yukon Rush feels at home in the waters off Charleston, South Carolina. The Nashville-Born Goalie spent his summers with his grandparents, who would often take him up and down the Southern coastline for vacations.
 
“Memaw and Pappaw always took me to the beach each summer, so in some small way, this area’s responsible for a good bit of my upbringing. I’m glad I can come down and help this community, and try to bring a little light into their eyes again.” Stoffiday said, looking out into the Atlantic.
 
The Rush, who didn’t make the playoffs this year, let Rhett come down from the Yukon Territory to work with Habitat for Humanity, rebuilding homes and providing services for those affected.
 
“He’s a home-town boy, I remember his grandparents and him coming down here when he was real little and eating at my restaurant. Just a good kid. Glad he came to help.” Said Paul Simmons, Owner of the Perfect Storm Café, in Charleston.
 
Within the first few days of being in Charleston, Stoffiday and Habitat for Humanity have aided in the reconstruction of 25 homes, and plan to build 25 more by the end of the week.
The Yukon Goalie, whose team did not make the playoffs this year, was thankful that he had a job that allowed him to travel, with the Yukon actually paying for his trip home to help.
“I’m on the best team I could be on, GM Montgomery @BarzalGoat and coaches really know my heart and were able to make a very big impact in my coming here at this time. I thank them for it.”
 
On top of Stoffiday’s $10,000 contribution to the Hurricane Florence fund, The Yukon Rush matched Stoffiday, for a total of $20,000 towards the rebuilding effort.
 
Stoffiday played in over 60 games for the Rush, and was ranked 4th overall in Shutouts in the VHLM this season with 2.
 
When asked why he wanted to make the 6,000 mile journey, Stoffiday had this to say:
 
“You have to remember where you came from to get where you’re going, right? If I ain’t giving back, what reason am I even playing? I don’t care if I make a million dollars, or any of that, as long as I can play the game I love, and I can help the people who have loved me back.  I reckon I’d travel 10,000 miles if it meant I could help out.”
 
“There’s gonna be a few more Rhett Stoffiday Jerseys out here in Charleston, that’s for sure. He’s one of us, always was, always will be.” City Councilman Clyde Ballinger stated.
 
For Sports Center, I’m Dubious Intentions.
 
Sports Center Closing

Father of Yukon Rush Goalie Rhett Stoffiday passes away at 53.
 
 
Las Vegas, Nevada—Lincoln “Link” Stoffiday, Goalie of the Las Vegas Wranglers from 2000-2004, has passed away. He was 53. He is the father of starting Goaltender Rhett Stoffiday of the Yukon Rush.
Link, as he was known to his teammates, was known as a strong leader, and a rock in the Wrangler’s Locker Room during his tenure, and would often bring his young son Rhett out onto the ice during practices. Link was also a mainstay during home games for the Yukon Rush, cheering on his son any chance he got.
 
He is survived by his only son Rhett.
 
When asked about his father, Rhett replied:
 
“My dad was my hero, and for so long, he was my coach too. He’s watched every single hockey game I’ve ever played. He used to say, “I’m the dad of Rhett Stoffiday! The best goalie ever!” but I think from now on, I’m gonna say I’m the son of Link Stoffiday, the best dad ever.” 
 
No arrangements have been made at this time.

Another amazing job on the newsletter! I love these things!

Father of Yukon Rush Goalie Rhett Stoffiday passes away at 53.
 
 
Las Vegas, Nevada—Lincoln “Link” Stoffiday, Goalie of the Las Vegas Wranglers from 2000-2004, has passed away. He was 53. He is the father of starting Goaltender Rhett Stoffiday of the Yukon Rush.
Link, as he was known to his teammates, was known as a strong leader, and a rock in the Wrangler’s Locker Room during his tenure, and would often bring his young son Rhett out onto the ice during practices. Link was also a mainstay during home games for the Yukon Rush, cheering on his son any chance he got.
 
He is survived by his only son Rhett.
 
When asked about his father, Rhett replied:
 
“My dad was my hero, and for so long, he was my coach too. He’s watched every single hockey game I’ve ever played. He used to say, “I’m the dad of Rhett Stoffiday! The best goalie ever!” but I think from now on, I’m gonna say I’m the son of Link Stoffiday, the best dad ever.” 
 
No arrangements have been made at this time.

Father of Yukon Rush Goalie Rhett Stoffiday passes away at 53.
 
 
Las Vegas, Nevada—Lincoln “Link” Stoffiday, Goalie of the Las Vegas Wranglers from 2000-2004, has passed away. He was 53. He is the father of starting Goaltender Rhett Stoffiday of the Yukon Rush.
Link, as he was known to his teammates, was known as a strong leader, and a rock in the Wrangler’s Locker Room during his tenure, and would often bring his young son Rhett out onto the ice during practices. Link was also a mainstay during home games for the Yukon Rush, cheering on his son any chance he got.
 
He is survived by his only son Rhett.
 
When asked about his father, Rhett replied:
 
“My dad was my hero, and for so long, he was my coach too. He’s watched every single hockey game I’ve ever played. He used to say, “I’m the dad of Rhett Stoffiday! The best goalie ever!” but I think from now on, I’m gonna say I’m the son of Link Stoffiday, the best dad ever.” 
 
No arrangements have been made at this time.

Sports Center Theme
 
Good evening, my name is Obviously Bluffing, and here’s our top story.
As Hurricane Florence pummels the Eastern Seaboard, an unlikely beacon of hope is bringing help and healing to the families affected. Here’s Dubious Intentions with more!
 
Graphic Change
 
You wouldn’t really expect it, but Rhett Stoffiday of the Yukon Rush feels at home in the waters off Charleston, South Carolina. The Nashville-Born Goalie spent his summers with his grandparents, who would often take him up and down the Southern coastline for vacations.
 
“Memaw and Pappaw always took me to the beach each summer, so in some small way, this area’s responsible for a good bit of my upbringing. I’m glad I can come down and help this community, and try to bring a little light into their eyes again.” Stoffiday said, looking out into the Atlantic.
 
The Rush, who didn’t make the playoffs this year, let Rhett come down from the Yukon Territory to work with Habitat for Humanity, rebuilding homes and providing services for those affected.
 
“He’s a home-town boy, I remember his grandparents and him coming down here when he was real little and eating at my restaurant. Just a good kid. Glad he came to help.” Said Paul Simmons, Owner of the Perfect Storm Café, in Charleston.
 
Within the first few days of being in Charleston, Stoffiday and Habitat for Humanity have aided in the reconstruction of 25 homes, and plan to build 25 more by the end of the week.
The Yukon Goalie, whose team did not make the playoffs this year, was thankful that he had a job that allowed him to travel, with the Yukon actually paying for his trip home to help.
“I’m on the best team I could be on, GM Montgomery @BarzalGoat and coaches really know my heart and were able to make a very big impact in my coming here at this time. I thank them for it.”
 
On top of Stoffiday’s $10,000 contribution to the Hurricane Florence fund, The Yukon Rush matched Stoffiday, for a total of $20,000 towards the rebuilding effort.
 
Stoffiday played in over 60 games for the Rush, and was ranked 4th overall in Shutouts in the VHLM this season with 2.
 
When asked why he wanted to make the 6,000 mile journey, Stoffiday had this to say:
 
“You have to remember where you came from to get where you’re going, right? If I ain’t giving back, what reason am I even playing? I don’t care if I make a million dollars, or any of that, as long as I can play the game I love, and I can help the people who have loved me back.  I reckon I’d travel 10,000 miles if it meant I could help out.”
 
“There’s gonna be a few more Rhett Stoffiday Jerseys out here in Charleston, that’s for sure. He’s one of us, always was, always will be.” City Councilman Clyde Ballinger stated.
 
For Sports Center, I’m Dubious Intentions.
 
Sports Center Closing