Viper

Oh thank god. Here’s to Brozik breaking viper TPE records 🍻

Hey y'all, some of you might have heard, but, I (Domino, hi) have decided to retire Nexber so I will answer questions that you might have while reading this.
 
 
Why did you fucking impale Nexber's career like that?
I was less active so I had to, but, when I had retired, Ray gave me a CHANCE to play on Helsinki.
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Also I wanted a fresh start because I made so 👏 many 👏 mistakes 👏 on Nexber so I wanted Towbaker to be Nexber: but improved, if that makes sense
 
Why did you name hin Austin Towbaker?
It was the first thing that came into my mind. So sue me.
 
 
Why did you choose Ottowa instead of Minnesota? Didn't you play there once? Domino why are you a piece of shi-
1. I felt like I wanted to know more people and again, you say it kids!    *you wanted a fresh strrrrrt"* don't be lazy
2. Yeah I did but it was for a little while, and also I was getting crazy because of how much Minny's logo kinda looks like Silas Sterne
3. I have no idea! Ever since I joined I guess.
 
 
haha domino you lost giordano
well you lost eberle and oleksiak stinky
 
 
What did you think of the Seattle Expansion draft
I think it went fine (personally) it was weird seeing Eberle in a Kraken jersey 
 
 
Are you Running out of ideas?
Yes.
 
 
 
You can put your own questions and I'll answer them! Please do make it stupid.
 
 
 

u a close second bb dw

i know its small so heres a link so it SHOULD be bigger. https://ibb.co/26BDg94

Poor @MexicanCow123

So colorful

jakub brozik smh

Next season will mark my eighth season in the VHL/VHLM. I started my journey not knowing how it would turn out or even how long I would last in the league. Over these eight seasons, I have learned so much from so many different people and have even slotted into an administrative role in the VHLM with Miami. This message is mostly just going to be a trip through my career as well as sort of a thank you to some of the people who taught me the most and got me motivated to continue playing. The end of this after I talk about my player and their career will have some extra stuff such as my future player as well as some jobs I am looking to get. Enjoy   
 
   I’d like to start from the beginning. I first entered free agency mid-season seventy-two. I was brand new to literally everything and had no idea what I was doing. I was soon approached by the general manager of the San Diego Marlins and they asked me if I would like to join the team. I of course said absolutely because who wouldn't want to get signed to a team and play some games when you are just entering the league! I didn’t actually get to play any games with San Diego but just being in the locker room and learning the basics was enough for me.
 
   After season seventy-two ended I was put into the VHLM draft. I don’t think anyone really saw me as having any potential, to be honest, and I do not blame them in the slightest. This showed since I was drafted seventy-third overall in the season seventy-three draft. I think that’s pretty neat that my draft number was the same as the season but that’s probably just me. I was drafted to the Las Vegas Aces and before I even had time to look at the team I was traded to Mexico City. Despite searching for the exact trade and the details I couldn’t actually find it. Anyways this is where I met the two people who have had with no doubt the greatest impact on my career. Those two are Hylands and Rory I really hope I remember to put their @ here when I fully post this. They were my general manager and assistant general manager while I was in Mexico City. They taught me everything I need to know to become a top player and without them, it’s very possible I don’t make it this far to even be writing this article. Now to get into my stats for this season since I actually say ice time. When I say saw ice time I am not lying but I did only play in four games and some of those I didn’t even start but came in later when we were getting blown out. In those four games, I had a .894 save percentage with 4.47 goals against average and totaled 188 minutes played. I also had a record of 0-2-0. This was mostly a learning season for me so again this didn’t bother me.
 
   Now for season seventy-four. I actually became the starter this season and the team was decent in front of me. Thinking back this is about when I started really putting in the work to become the best possible player I could and it started paying off. I ended up playing in sixty total games this season which still blows my mind how I went from four games to sixty in the matter of one off-season. I played infinitely better as well having a .900 save percentage with 2.84 goals against average and playing a total of 3,635 minutes. I also had a record of 28-25-7. We also happened to make the playoffs this season and I was of course the starter. It did not go well at all though since we went one in four and we were knocked out in the first round. Again this season was a really fun experience and I started getting tons of playing time and even some playoff experience!
   
   Season seventy-five would be my last season in the VHLM. The team we had built for this season was a serious cup contender and the locker room was buzzing each and every day. It to this day is the most active I have ever seen in a locker room and some of the most fun I’ve had in the league. I was still the starter and I was also named the captain of the team. I played a few more games this season than last as well. I had a VHLM career-best .902 save percentage, 2.49 goals against average, and 1,874 minutes played. I also had a record of 47-12-5 which was incredible. Since this team was so well put together we had a very very deep playoff run. We made it through the first round with ease and then made it past the semi-finals. We made it all the way to the cup finals and well of course we lost but hey we did amazing. Only missed winning the cup by two games. I’d say that’s something to be proud of.
 
   Season seventy-six was my first season in the VHL. I know realized I had completely forgotten to mention my VHL draft in the previous season so why not talk about it now. I was still at this point, not a top-level prospect that people were dying to have on their team. I ended up sliding down to fifty-seventh overall in the VHL draft by the Vancouver Wolves. Now back to this season. I was the backup goalie at this point since there was an absolute legend in the net for them. The previous season the Wolves actually won the cup so while I was busy losing the cup in the VHLM the team that drafted me was busy winning the cup in the VHL. I did start a decent amount of games this season which I was okay with and to be honest I did much better than expected. I managed a .919 save percentage with 2.62 goals against average playing 915 minutes as well as having a 12-2-2 record. Now, these stats seem hall of fame level but to be honest I only player the really bad teams while our team was still elite. 
   
   Season Seventy-seven was a weird season. I was not the backup goalie but I wasn’t necessarily the starter either. I ended up splitting time with my partner goalie almost evenly but I did get all the harder teams which did sort of bum me out some. The team was also on the decline at this point so the starts aren't the greatest. The team was still good enough to stay competitive though which is always great. This season was overall pretty un-eventful so my stats were. A .914 save percentage, 3.32 goals against average, played 1,822 minutes, and had a record of 14-13-5. Overall this season could’ve been better but we did manage to make the playoffs. We got knocked out in round one sadly but it was nice to make it in the first place.
 
   Season Seventy-eight was when I got the go-to be full-time. The team was in full rebuild mode and the record shows. I don’t think anyone had any real explications for us and I don’t think even our players did either. I played sixty-seven games in total but since the team wasn’t the best in front of me it was a long painful season. I had a .914 save percentage, 3.84 goals against average, played 3,879 minutes, and had a record of 23-34-7. That record is actually ten times better than what it could’ve been since near the end of the season we went on a bit of a hot streak winning a lot of games. We obviously didn’t make the playoffs this season considering the record but we were in good shape to get some great picks in the draft. Definitely, a write-off season for everyone on the team including the managers. We would all like to forget this season.
 
   Season seventy-nine is actually the season that I’m writing this in. It’s still early but the team is already doing so much better and I believe we can make the playoffs this season. We might not necessarily be a cup contender but crazy things can happen in the playoffs. I currently have a .918 save percentage, 3.76 goals against average, 844 minutes played, and a record of 9-5-0. My personal performance is on the upswing and my goal for the end of the season is to have a .920 save percentage to boost my career stats. We are in a very good position for next season to make a deep push for the cup
 
   Season eighty...I haven’t actually played this season yet but The expectations are for me to have a career season and for us to win the cup. There’s not much left to say here so let’s go to the reason for writing this.
 
   Now I am switching out of my player’s sort of point of view and switching to real-life me. I am writing this because season eighty will be my last season with this player. I know I technically have one more season which is season eighty-one available to me but I am really wanting to move on from this player once my contract is up with Vancouver next season. It’s been so much fun but I am so excited for the future. I made so many mistakes with this player which caused my potential to be cut down and I couldn’t become the player I wanted to be because of it. The things I messed up the most were mostly at the beginning not knowing what a points task fully was or being too embarrassed to write something for a virtual hockey simulator. Going in next time I will know everything I need to know from the start and can make this player the greatest of all time. And some tips for new guys is to find a point tasks you enjoy and roll with it. You don’t need to be the best at it but just putting in the effort of trying will be enough to get you those sweet tpe. And speaking of this new player I already know they won’t be a goalie again. I am really stuck between a Winger or a Defensemen. If I go winger I want to be the greatest setup man to ever live and if I go for a defenseman I want to break the shot blocks records and plus-minus records. I have plenty of time to decide though. I also have not given up on this player and will still be updating them continuously throughout the season up until they retire. I will also do an article once he’s retired going over season eighty as well as the career stats.
 
   The last thing I want to touch on is the administrative side of things. I’ve just recently become an assistant general manager in the VHLM for the Miami Marauders. So far it’s been fun and I think I plan on being the assistant general manager there until my player retires and then trying my hand at a general manager job if one opens in the VHLM. Things look very bright for the future and I wish everyone good luck in their careers. P.S. someone on the updaters job please retire so I can apply and become one. I eventually want to be an updater and a general manager so I can do fewer point tasks per week so I can avoid burnout as much as possible. So please retire or I might just have to hunt you down and for early retirement on you.
 
Goalie Vancouver Wolves
Markus Emerson Jr.
 
2k words
claiming for weeks ending:
8/8
8/15
8/22
8/29

I got a goal against my former team

I'm always late smh

Congrats to @youloser1337 for earning some actual job pay! He’s hired. 

I apply.

Jakub Brozik, born in Prague, Czechia, currently plays for the Mississauga Hounds in the VHLM. Recently drafted to the VHL, Brozik has no desire to play immediately. Brozik wants to take his talents to the newly formed VHLE, the VHL's European-based affiliate. When asked about his decision, Brozik stated, "I want develop more, not rush in VHL. VHLE give me experience and production.". Keep in mind, English is not Brozik's first language. That aside, Brozik will not play for Davos in the upcoming season. Brozik has expressed interest (on social media) in playing for Cologne and in Berlin, the two german franchises in the VHLE.
 
While not playing that great in the VHLM this season, Brozik has intentions to fix his poor performance by investing time into his shot and puck handling. While he has mastered passing and defense (for this level), he feels that he needs to improve all other aspects of his game, including faceoffs.
 
Brozik's time in the VHLE will be one to remember, he hopes, and he has made no further comments on the matter, besides where he would like to play for & the fact that he is staying in the VHLE for two seasons.

Quick PSA, yes this will probably be the only article I do for a while. Why? I’m pretty bad at these. I just felt like I needed to do one, especially going into my 4th season with somebody who isn’t even supposed to be in the VHL. Who? Shaggy Tipton. Yeah I know, you probably don’t know who he is.
 
He’s a pretty cool dude. He’s played for 3 teams his entire career. Signed from waivers by the Aces, drafted by the Kings, and finally signed by the Menace. He has a pretty cool story, just like your player does! Wanna hear about it? No? Well then why are you here? 🤨
 
 
————— —————
    The First Season
————— —————
Tipton’s first season was nothing special. In fact, it was probably worse than most VHLM players. Signed off of waivers by the Las Vegas Aces he played a total of 37 games.
 
In 37 games his first season Tipton had 2 points, 1 goal and 1 assist. He was overjoyed alongside GM Spartan, who was probably surprised to see this midseason waiver player do much of anything. Unsurprisingly he did nothing after that, or in the playoffs. 
 
After his first season with the Aces Shaggy would enter the draft, only having 2 reasons why a team should select him. A goal and an assist.
 
————— —————
    The Second Season
————— —————
 
Unfortunately Shaggy could not return to the Aces, as he was passed on by them in the draft and instead selected by the Mexico City Kings. The Kings and Tipton mutually agreed to change his position to defense before he even played a single game for them, a very controversial move.
 
Surprisingly Shaggy was a solid pick, and was a good anchor for a very questionable Kings defense. Soon, the defense that was going to hold the Kings back, became one of their soundest roster spots.
 
With their defense stabilized, the Kings would go on to become one of the best teams in the League. By the end of the season, they soundly made the postseason, and in his first season as a defenseman Tipton performed astronomically better.
 
In his first full VHLM season, Tipton had 13 goals and 36 assists for a total of 49 points. 
 
The King’s magic continued, as they fought their way to the Founder’s Cup Finals, achieving ultimate victory over the dominant Houston Bulls. 
 
In their playoff run, with 15 games played total Tipton would put up 2 goals and 10 assists for 12 points total. 
 
Despite this, he would yet again go undrafted in the VHL Draft. Instead of testing his luck he decided to sign with the Moscow Menace as a prospect, which he saw as a safe option to ensure he would at least play in the VHL.
 
————— —————
    The Third Season
————— —————
 
After their magical cup victory the Mexico City Kings were forced to rebuild, with a large portion of their championship core leaving for the VHL. 
 
Shaggy Tipton did not leave. He decided he would stay another season with Mexico. At the start of the season the King’s troubles were revealed. A horrible start led to the star defenseman being traded to a land he knew all too well.
 
The shining lights of Las Vegas.
 
In 8 games with Mexico City Tipton put up very good numbers. 5 goals and 6 assists for 11 points total in that short time period.
 
Now back in Vegas, Tipton would lead the defense he once sat behind. His skill as a special teams player was also revealed, as he was a reliable. power play scorer. 
 
Tipton led Vegas to the S77 Playoffs alongside a starlit offense, and by the end of the season he ended with trophy ambitions. 
 
In only 64 games for the Aces, Shaggy would score 27 goals and 60 assists, having 87 points in his second tenure with Vegas. 
 
in 72 games played that season Tipton ended with 98 points total. 
 
Needless to say, Tipton won the Ryan Sullivan Trophy, and continued his trophy campaign into the playoffs with Vegas.  
 
In 9 playoff games Tipton scored an even 6 goals and assists, ending with 12 points in the playoffs. The top heavy Vegas was unable to win the cup they had grasped seasons before, and many more of their core were departing.
 
This time, Tipton was not staying.
 
 
 
————— —————
             The VHL
————— —————
 
Tipton was viewed as a potential future winger anchor for the Menace in his first season, but now he was brought up with the goal of being a defensive assistant. 
 
Tipton would do just that in his first season, and alongside rookie Hard Markinson he was a member of one of the best rookie teams in Moscow. 
 
In his first full VHL Season, Tipton supplied respectable offense and lackluster defense. With 5 goals and 28 assists, he logged a point total of 33 in his rookie season. 
 
 
————— —————
            The Present
————— —————
 
With promising growth, and a top 10 rookie finish, Tipton’s game is certainly looking good going into the future.
 
The sky would be the limit, but TPE is actually the limit here. One could only wonder how good he would be if his owner would do more than Welfare😂

1. @JardyB10 by a kilometer and a half
2. I believe it was posted in the MSFL back in 2008 or so...I remember seeing Season 5 and being mildly impressed that it lasted that long but not actually joining until the MSFL folded in S7.
3. The Naggerwolve (idk if anybody still talks to him, hope he's doing well)
4. I don't know, really, I guess it's just something else that can keep my mind occupied for a bit when I need to step back from work and don't feel like mindlessly surfing the internet or doomscrolling social media.
5. No, because I don't have aspirations of becoming a top-tier player and the effort to write an MS isn't worth it for me, especially since I get the 5 TPE pension plan.
6. Rotisserie chicken...I can buy one and eat half for lunch and half for dinner with a little left over for some chicken-based cooking the next day. I like some sriracha on the side for dipping as well.

Not quite the full mile, but I’ll take it ❤️

@Viper

This is very cool!

Those are quite difficult given the editor I use, but I do appreciate the review!

Review: Cool graphic for sure. I like the filter and how there are two different parts of the image. Only thing I might suggest is a logo swap, but that might be hard given the filter. Overall well done, unique graphic. 9/10