hylands

For this season’s theme week, the VHLM, I’m going to revisit a couple of modern-day records and look at them in more depth. We only have access to data as far back as S43, so these records probably wouldn’t be records in the earlier days knowing how many goals were scored some seasons. You’re bound to see some familiar names as you read so enjoy!
 

Zach Parechkin envisioning a record-setting night.
 
Most Goals in 1 Game (Player): Zach Parechkin @DollarAndADream, Bern Royals, S45, Game 12 – 7 Goals
In an early polarizing game, and one that would set the tone of the season for both teams, the Bern Royals and Yukon Rush would meet in their third game of the season and, in a weird scheduling snafu (because the 7200 km flight between Yukon and Switzerland is just BRUTAL), the first of 10 meetings in 11 games. Both teams came into this game 1-1 with Yukon getting a surprising shootout win in their last game against the eventual Founder’s Cup Champions, the Moscow Red Wolves.
 
Future HOFer Zach Parechkin opened the scoring at 4:24 of the 1st period and thus the onslaught began. Parechkin would score again one minute and 12 seconds later and add an assist by the end of the period. In the second period, he would score three more times in the span of 2:04 and add another near the end of the period before adding his record-setting 7th goal of the game and adding a second assist in the third. He would factor in all nine goals in a 9-0 drubbing of the Rush. Others with big performances were Sean Blacker (1-4-5) @frescoelmo and Jordan Maverick (1-3-4) @Dmoushey_31. Parechkin’s fellow future HOFer, blueliner Jeff Hamilton @sterling also had an assist on route to a 92-assist season.
 
Bern would go on to win all ten of their games against the Rush, shutting them out five times and outscoring them 64-9. Bern would also lead the league in goals for that season with four 100-point scorers (Parechkin, Hamilton, Blacker, and Mathieu Baptiste @InstantRockstar) while Yukon would be last in the league in goals against. Zach Parechkin’s legendary career would begin with a host of VHLM awards, leading the league in goals, game-winning goals, hat tricks and points while being named MVP. While a few players have scored six goals in a games since, no one has matched Parechkin’s single-game total in almost 50 seasons.
 
 
The Yukon Rush celebrating yet another goal.
 
Most Goals in 1 Game (Team): Yukon Rush, S80, Game 189 – 13 Goals
Ironically, the Yukon Rush found themselves on the positive side of an offensive record during their last season before moving to Geneva and becoming the short-live Rush of the VHLE. On route to the franchise’s tenth Prime Minister’s Cup (best record), the S80 Rush would score the second-most goals in a season since S43 (they scored 10 or more goals nine times that season) and in Game 189 would pick on the team that would allow (at the time) the second-most goals, the Mississauga Hounds.
 
After already thumping the Hounds 10-3 the game before, Yukon would jump out to a 4-1 lead with nine different Rush players getting a point in the opening frame. Then, the Hounds’ red light barely got a break as the Rush poured in 5 straight goals on 33 shots in just the second period with Mississauga’s Marcel Janser @Morcar80 temporarily stopping the streak with a late powerplay marker to make it 9-2. The Rush would pour in four more goals in the opening 7:17 of the third period before another late goal by Marcel Janser to cap the final score at 13-3.   
 
On a team full of players headed to the VHL, seven Rush players had four or more points led by Harkat Mulds’ @hylands four goals and six points and five assists from Sting Chameleon @Hybrid1486. Others with four points were Hulk Hogan 2 @Hogan (who went scoreless despite a game-leading 22 shots), Chicken Nugget @LT.CHICKEN NUGGETS, Kyosti Karjalainen @UnkemptCL4PTP, Link Zhang @WHY_Bolts, and Zaza Colors @McWolf. It was the most offense by one team in a game since S72 and while Yukon hit 12 later that season and Houston scored a dozen in S82, no one has yet equaled the Rush’s 13. Honorable mention, in addition to two goals, Marcel Janser had 9 blocked shots (he earlier tied the VHLM record for blocked shots in a game with 12). Future HOFer brother Daniel Janser @Daniel Janser had an assist.
 
 

Back in 2020, I was bored at home during the lockdown. That’s when I saw the ad for the VHL on an NHL 20 YouTube video. I thought to myself, screw it I’ll join. 4 years later, here I am. It’s been a wild ride. The VHLM was my first encounter with the league.
 
Justin Lose was my first-ever player in the VHL. Philadelphia was the only team to make an offer on my creation page. I was excited but still had doubts about the league, but the GM of the Reapers was an astounding help. @DMaximus  helped me with claiming and being that newbie guide. I remember being in the locker room chat on Discord and being so excited to possibly make the playoffs and how disappointed we were when we missed it by a few points. I was hooked on claiming and getting my player better each week.
 
So when I went into the draft and got drafted 18th overall by Mexico City, I was excited! Thanks to GM and AGM of @hylands  and @rory, it was a fun environment. We were a top team too! We made a deep playoff run losing in the finals to the Philadelphia Reapers. That one stung. We went from missing the playoffs with the Reapers to losing to the Reapers who won the cup.
 
So my first two trips to the VHLM were “failures”. Missing the playoffs, and then losing in the cup finals. This time I went to the VHLM with a new perspective, becoming AGM for the Minnesota Storm with @Laine. I was able to shine by showing off my Excel skills and scouting reports. It was at this point, I fell in love with being in management and wanted to be a GM for a team in the VHLM. 
 
After the success in helping Laine with the Storm, I was hired to be the next GM of the Mexico City Kings. I was hired in Season 80. This was after a strong playoff push in Season 79 that led to them being eliminated in the 2nd round of the playoffs.
 
Season 80 - Missed Playoffs
 
Season 81 - Swept in the first round by Ottawa
 
Season 82 - Lost in 7 games to Houston in the 2nd round
 
Season 83 - Missed Playoffs
 
Season 83 was when I started a new job at my company. This change had me going to the office 5 days a week instead of 5 days working from home. This also meant I couldn’t be on the forum, waiting for new people to sign up and create players. Plus missing the playoffs again meant I didn’t have the heart anymore. I knew I had to step down and let someone else take the mantle.
 
Happening parallel to me being a GM was my newest player, Scoish Velociraptor Maloish. His only season in the VHLM was with the Houston Bulls in Season 82. The Houston team that eliminated my team in 7 games. But they would fall in the finals in 7 games to the Saskatoon Wild.
 
My 2nd player would skip the VHLM draft and go straight to the VHLE. The 3rd time is the charm, right? Wrong. Wally Lose is my current player and is a VHLM loser (pun intended). I went to the Mexico City Kings to hopefully win the cup with my old team. We would fall to Miami in the 1st round. So I go into the draft again with the hope of finally winning something. I was drafted to Ottawa for the first time. This team was a dominating force, coming in as the #1 seed for the playoffs. Unfortunately, at this point, you can already tell where this is headed. We were swept in the cup finals.
 
Overall, I enjoyed my time in the VHLM. I’ll try to earn enough to graduate early, but if I don’t reach that goal I’ll have fun with it. The VHLM is a great way to meet new people too. I’ve made a lot of great friends in the VHLM.
 
3 Players, 3 Teams, 3 Failed Cup wins. Am I the Corey Perry of the VHLM? Make notes VHLM GMs! If you want a cup final appearance, just draft me!

NEW YORK AMERICANS LEADERSHIP GROUP

 
This off-season saw the New York Americans trade their captain, Francesco Mancini @GioSivo. The decision was not made lightly, as he is truly a great leader and was a force for the Americans. With the Captain role vacant, we are proud to announce a new Leadership Group for the S94 Season. Without further ado, we would like to present the 45th Captain of the New York Americans..
 

 
C - Jasper Davis @Josh
In his sixth season with the NY Americans, Davis takes the role as our captain. He has produced at a high level, achieving top 20 All-Time in both goals and points. He has been a loyal member of this team since day one and has been through a lot with this team. Through thick and thin he has shown that he is committed to raising a cup in New York.
 
A - 36W @rory
Our goalie, our loudest voice, he's been the face of the franchise and the identity of this team since he arrived two seasons ago. He's pulled us through the mud when we couldn't get things going. He's broken the portal, and he's got his eye on breaking the curse. We can't put the "A" on him in STHS, but he is very much a part of this Leadership Group.
 
A - Callum Janser @Daniel Janser
One of the most feared players, any time he is on the ice. Janser has bled red white and blue since the day he was drafted. Cal is a freight train on the ice with over 500 hits in two seasons. He commands respect on the ice, and he is the man on defense that keeps the opposing players honest.
 
A - Wayne Gretzky @MubbleFubbles
Gretzky made his mark in New York as a Ranger. Now, in his second career he begins as a "rookie" with the New York Americans. Gretzky will wear the "A" that 36W can't technically wear in STHS. It was a long road for The Great One, but we will see him begin his VHL career with the Americans as an Assistant Captain.
 
 
MAKE AMERICANS GREAT AGAIN
 
 
 
 
 @hylands  @qripll @Esso2264 @Lucas anton @Trazan
 @Crstats23 @Will @a_Ferk
@Luke033

Because I need a PT, don't want to write, and don't have a sig. It's not quite what I used to make but it's presentable.

2002 Saturn SL1
 
Currently driving this baby until the wheels fall off. It was my high school graduation gift from my grandparents after they upgraded, and it has every possible problem in the world. As long as it goes from A to B... 

Earlier this year, my family and I attended a performance of the Ukrainian National Symphony Orchestra, widely regarded as one of the premier Symphony Orchestras in Europe. The concert was truly extraordinary, with a lengthy Haydn second piece with a world famous cellist being one of many highlights. It was the first time I attended an orchestra performance where there were not one but two encores, with the final being the Ukrainian National Anthem. Truly a moving experience, and impossible to separate the real world situation their country is in from the performance.
 
I decided to create a Ukrainian player in the VHL the week that Russia decided to invade Ukraine. Seeing what has happened since then has not lessened my desire to make Shevchenko one of, if not the best, of my players in this league. I don't have any kind of false hope that this will matter in the slightest to anyone but myself, but my heart goes out to them, their nation, the families torn apart by the brutal imperialism, and Shev is my way of honoring them in their fight to remain sovereign.
 

Hello Everyone I hinted on a future media spot I would do where I would take a look at the Job pays and how I would change/alter them if I was in charge so here is this article.
 
So first of all I am a believer that if you do a job and it takes time to do and it makes the league a better place then you need to be fairly compensated. Making people who have high intensive jobs that are vital to the league get burnt out with completing weekly tasks is a sure fire way to get the league folded. However giving everyone more TPE than they deserve will make the league interactions and forum content go down significantly. So for that we need to find a nice median ground between a lot of TPE and a lot of work.
 
We all know that the capped TPE maxes out at 12 per week, with 6 coming from your major point tasks and 6 from your minor point tasks, I personally believe that job pay should start covering minor point tasks first that way it keeps more people completing the major point tasks which I believe has more value for the forum content side of things. This is because there are multiple minor point tasks like press conference and trivia which has no real benefit to the community. Lets assume as a total it takes you an hour to complete your full 12 capped with 30 mins for major point and 30 mins for your minor point tasks we will take this into the job evaluation.
 
I want to look at the list of jobs and evaluate how and look at them with some rankings. How important the job is and how time consuming the job is.
 
Job List VHL:
·         Commissioners – 6TPE
·         Moderators – 6TPE
·         VHLM GMs – 4TPE
·         Other GMs – 2TPE
·         Simmers – 8TPE
·         Recruitment – 6TPE
·         Head of PT – 2TPE
·         Updaters – 4TPE
·         Player Store Updaters – 2TPE
·         Fantasy Zone/Trivia – 2TPE
·         VSN Editor – 10TPE
·         VSN Contributors – 8TPE
So above you can see the job list, to me the only non-important jobs on this list are the VSN jobs. You could also make an argument for the Head of PT job and the Fantasy Zone/Trivia jobs. My reasoning behind this is that without the VSN nothing really in the league changes, and I personally believe that similar articles will still be written just by a random person instead of someone assigned that task. Also if someone likes the league enough to write these articles for the VSN I am sure they would probably write them themselves anyway. With regards to the Head of PT, this could probably be delegated and allow the Updaters to make the final say or to get commissioner approval for the real edge cases. The Fantasy Zone and Trivia jobs are only important if you believe that the underlying point task is important for the league. I don’t believe that either are really that important and I am sure you could almost make Fantasy Zone automated it picks 3 random games and you bet on them.
The time-consuming jobs are harder to really put a finger on without having done the job myself in the past. I will say that I believe that the simmers and moderators are really the ones that are under the pump they need to be available every day. I am unsure about the mods to be honest but if the team is small enough I am sure they pretty much all need to do a “shift” every day to keep things up and running.
So without a lot of further research it is really hard to tell on who is actually pulling their weight and which jobs are essentially getting a free ride. There are also the job share jobs as well, you can look at examples like the updaters and the moderators, where you can have someone on the payroll doing 95% of the work and 5 people all doing not much however they all get equal pay. So even if a job is worth the TPE for one person it might not be worth the pay for all.
One idea I had for the updaters is that each week you take the average number of updates approved if within a 3 week period you didn’t once hit the average you should not be allowed to claim the TPE until you then get back over the average. So if there are 1000 updates and 10 updaters everyone should be hitting over 100 every 3 weeks.
 
Next I want to look at the TPE earned by members currently with jobs per week, we can see that this ranges from 20 TPE down to 2 TPE every week. Please note that I have not done any in depth research into what people are claiming just what they are entitled to as per the staff page on the forum. We can see there are 8 members who are above the cap and an extra 3 members who hit the cap just with their jobs. Now ideally this means that they are not made to do any point tasks every week as their jobs should cover their total contribution to the league. Providing the member does not earn their TPE through VSN which is sort of a special category.
Members and the amount of TPE they get per week from Jobs and number of jobs worked:
User
TPE
# Jobs
N0HBDY
20
4
Moon
16
3
leandrofg
16
4
Beketov
14
2
Josh
14
2
samx
14
3
Tetricide
14
3
v.2
14
3
Ricer13
12
3
Alex
12
2
AJW
12
2
Acydburn
10
2
Enorama
10
2
Spartan
10
3
MubbleFubbles
10
2
badcolethetitan
10
2
Mysterious_Fish
10
2
Nathan_8
10
2
Frank
8
2
Banackock
8
2
InstantRockstar
8
2
Devise
8
1
MexicanCow123
8
1
animal74
8
1
DarkSpyro
8
1
ROOKIE745
8
1
fromtheinside
8
1
nurx
8
1
Gustav
6
1
Baozi
6
1
frescoelmo
6
1
jacobcarson877
4
2
Grape
4
1
McLovin
4
1
Lemorse7
4
1
JCarson
4
1
Dadam30
4
1
LucyXpher
4
1
DMaximus
4
1
hylands
4
1
OrbitingDeath
4
1
STZ
2
1
hedgehog337
2
1
FrostBeard
2
1
KaleebtheMighty
2
1
Doomsday
2
1
Zetterberg
2
1
rory
2
1
dlamb
2
1
Baby Boomer
2
1
Sjin
2
1
UnknownMinion
2
1
Jason kranz
2
1
 
There are currently on the staff page 53 members that hold a current job who would be able to claim TPE for this and the TPE totals 390 which is on average 7.36 TPE per member. This means that the average member with a job does not need to complete a point tasks every week. To me this is staggering and I know that the VSN once again skews these results but to me it is really crazy.
 
Above I have summarised a few facts I found whilst really looking into the jobs and what I think about it but what do I honestly think we should do about this to improve the jobs and make it better/fairer for all.
 
SUGGESTIONS
 
Remove the VSN.
I have said it in the article above that the VSN articles of that style would probably still be made just not under a league banner. I don’t think the quality of the articles are that high that each article deserves an extra 2 TPE. I understand that it is cool to have a place for league news that is made at regular intervals but I think it needs to be shown more prominently if it is actually meant to be better quality than the average media spot. To the untrained eye it almost seems like the more views the article gets is really just indicative on the number of members tagged in the article.
 
Cap Job pay at 6.
I think that most jobs should fall in line roughly with completing a major point task and I would like to see the compensation matched. The only job that I truly think should be more than 6 per week is the simmers and that is because they need to work a 7 day week essentially and they should be fairly compensated for that. Every other job I believe should just be a 6 TPE per week max.
 
Cap number of jobs at 2.
I would like to see the number of jobs a member can hold capped at 2. I think that if the jobs are meant to be intensive and are rewarded with such high TPE than you shouldn’t be able to take on too much responsibility, I would love to see the cap at 1 job but I think we have too many roles with not enough members to see that happen. Plus there are some roles which I think go hand in hand like simmer and commissioner for example.
 
50% pay for your 2nd job.
I think that if you want to take on the second job you need to make sure you have enough time to cover all the work. I don’t want to incentivise people to work more than one job so now they don’t need to do point tasks. I think if you make the second job a member receives pay less then it makes sure that people really on pick up the work they can do. As you still need to be able to complete some minor point tasks here and their to hit your 12 capped TPE.
 
Job pay only covers major point tasks if you work more than one role.
If you only have the one role that pays 6 TPE per week then you need to still complete your major point tasks. The 6 TPE only covers the TPE that you would earn with the minor point tasks. This means that you are still seeing the members who have a job writing media spots, recording podcasts or making graphics.
 
Well that about sums up my thoughts and feelings on job pay as it is in the VHL at the moment. Please let me know what you think about how we could improve jobs and job pay and if you were in charge of the decisions what you would do. Thank you all for reading.
 
 
1500+ words claiming for 3 weeks

After a long, hard-fought battle with cancer, Mama Sike decided it was time to rest. Thank you VHL for providing an outlet for me in this difficult time.

A teaser for my upcoming media spot
 
So there has always been discussion over the VHL and job pay, I remember way back when there was a job pay audit done by member Proto or who is more commonly known as (one of those other AGMs Gustav had). This I believe didn’t change to much but I think that it is time again that one of the people that worked under Gustav delved deep into the VHL underworld to see who is being paid what and where we can reclaim some TPE back from the members, leading to more forum content when the ones with jobs have to go back to doing tasks.
 
No one is safe from my reaches and I will make sure that everyone is doing the amount of work needed to receive their TPE. Could we see massive changes in how things are done, almost definitely not. Could we see major shake ups of weekly TPE brought in by those with jobs, again it is really not likely. Will I still do this task I have assigned myself. Well if we look at my previous history there is like a 5% chance. Will anyone care about what I write, maybe just my Mum. Anyway enough rambling see you when I finish my task or need more TPE.

Hello there, guys!

It is Ondra again, this time to share with you how to catch a break after a day of catching pucks. Or, at least, to get an insight on how I deal with my time after games and practices.
 
If you’re a gamer like me, you can get behind your laptop, tabletop PC or gaming console and let every stressful thought about the upcoming games vanish with a videogame of your preference. Many genres and many games have many advantages. For example, competitive multiplayer can help you understand your Polish friends, with lessons completely for free! And if you want even more, try free-to-play multiplayer games! That way, you will learn both Polish and Russian super quickly. Thus, you will be able to small talk with your Russian colleagues in nets, thanks to the internets. Basically.
 
I also recommend to stay in touch with people around you. Socialize, go to pubs. There, you will find the biggest experts in hockey. Or in any other sport or, basically, in any branch of human knowledge imaginable. Depends on the time of the year.
You are guaranteed to get valuable and honest advices and as night progresses, you may end up in a brawl, which tests your physical preparedness for future games! That is, if refs actually let you participate in a line brawl.
 
Other than that, you should do what you want and what you like. Just keep in mind you have to be ready for future games!
Take care, I will write another article for y’all soon!
 
-O
 
(See coach? I am not recommending pubs only. And I am definitely not writing this with a beer and a cigarette in my hand. Don't bench me plz.)
 
288 words capped for week ending 03/31/2024

Looking back at my first time scrolling the VHL forums, before I created an account, made a player, and learned the ropes, some I have yet to learn. As someone who struggles with Anxiety, pushing myself to say “fuck it” and go for it came with a lot of hesitance, but in the end, it was so worthwhile. The community is so welcoming, the people here are so kind, I have yet to interact with someone who even comes close to rubbing me the wrong way. All and all it’s been a good experience so far. 
 
My player, Oliver Loo, a name I just slapped together is a player or rather character that I didn’t think I’d be putting so much effort and creativity into although my writing is not the best, needing to be improved upon and I don’t exactly have the means to make graphics. I originally made him just to test the waters, and see if I like how the VHL works under the surface that is the forums. Within the Discord servers, the people and such. It’s a lot more laid back than what I first thought, it’s enjoyable. I like pretty much ever aspect that I have discovered so far and can see myself sticking around. Hell, I even already have plans for my next player and this one isn’t even close to done yet.

230 words

The season has begun. So far NY has performed fairly well. We have been giving up a lot of shots, but thankfully we have the GOAT goaler in 36W, so the more shots the merrier. We've had some underwhelming performances, but the season's long and you learn quick not to be too reactive before the first quarter of sims are complete. Tonight's sim should be a good test with Toronto on back to back games, and then we should have a clearer picture of the NA Conference anyways. I think this season the team is more set than the previous season, so I'm just kinda on cruise control for now, and just seeing if there are any minor upgrades we could make at TD, but I could totally see this team being what we roll with all season. Excited for this core, and I really believe NY will be a competitor in this league for the next few seasons. Personally, things have been pretty busy. Kinda thought after the wedding we would have the opportunity to exhale - but the kids keep us going. End of my daughters hockey season coming up, and golf just around the corner. Excited for summer to come, even if that means work gets busier. Also, I've been cutting back on some of the hours spent gaming, and actually finished a few books I've had on the go since last year. But yeah, that is my week...

Hello VHL!
I'm going to be doing something I couldent find anyone else has done yet in VHL, but I have done myself in PBE and SHL.
And as you have read the title already you know how this goes. VHL Scrabble!
So I will be taking every teams players one by one to a scrabble score calculator and then after I'm done with the team I will calculate the total points, the average etc. So with out a further a do here we go!
 
Calgary Wrangles
Jonny Elgar: 21
Merome Dilson: 17
Joe Block: 23
Moritz Stauffer: 31
Phil Strasmore: 20
Thor Odinson: 15
Raimo Tuominen: 17
Catia Goncalves: 22
Adam Rage: 12
Kyle Toms: 17
Randy Bobandy: 24
The Total: 219
The Average: 19.909...
The Highest points: Moritz Stauffer
The Lowest points: Adam Rage
 
Chicago Phoenix
Amir Redzic: 24
Ryan Artyomov: 23
Reinhard von Kongming: 34
Karol Lamb: 17
Darko Alexander Malkovich: 50
Lionel Collberg: 19
Yaroslav Trunov: 23
Joshua Schwarzer: 42
Bryce Woodworth: 31
Dank Turtle: 15
Legacy Gaming: 22
Babay Shrimp: 25
The Total: 325
The Average: 27.83..
The Highest points: Darko Alexander Malkovich
The Lowest points: Dank Turtle
 
D.C Dragons
Henry Tucker Jr: 32
Mark Calaway: 25
Eurydyka Sklodowska Dudzinska: 65
Ben Laas: 9
Theo Allard: 14
Lucas Grey: 15
Keita Kourou: 19
Keegan Gamble: 22
Vincent Laroche-Gagnier: 33
The Frenchman: 25
The Total: 259
The Average: 25.9
The Highest points: Eurydyka Sklodowska Dudzinska
The Lowest points: Ben Laas
 
HC Davos Dynamo
Karl Pedersen: 19
Womp Womp Womp Womp Womp Jr: 64
David Jokinen: 28
LeBen Aky: 17
James MacAvoy: 31
Carson Walker Jr: 30
The Total: 189
The Average: 31.5
The Highest points: Womp Womp Womp Womp Womp Jr
The Lowest points: LeBen Aky
 
Helsinki Titans
Fuukka Rask: 25
YaBoi Oven: 17
Tommy Sleeves: 22
Kronchy Kardashian: 37
Michael Shotter: 24
Owen Lazaro: 22
Daryl Dixon: 22
Adi Dassler: 12
Jarkko Laakkonen: 38
Ellis Woolfenden: 22
Isaac mclflopper: 28
The Total: 247
The Average: 22.454...
The Highest points: Jarkko Laakkonen
The Lowest points: Adi Dassler
 
London United
Geoff Bezos: 28
Jesse Teno: 16
Nick Sansoe: 16
Jack Jeckler: 37
Lloyd Braun: 16
Isamu Knievel: 21
Wann Kerr: 15
Sjin: 11
Halvar Torbjorn: 29
Brad Marchand: 23 
Ben Dover: 14
John Richards: 28
Leonard Triller: 15
The Total: 269
The Average: 20.69...
The Highest points: Jack Jeckler
The Lowest points: Sjin
 
Los Angeles Stars
Matthew McCagg: 29
The Mediocre One: 22
Astro Singh: 14
Mclean Hoover II: 24
Alexander Stroheim: 30
Jim Benning Jr: 31
Timothy Swearingen: 29
The Total: 179
The Average: 25.57...
The Highest points: Jim Benning Jr
The Lowest points: Astro Singh
 
Malmo Nighthawks
Karl Herzlich: 33
Ash Sparks: 18
Jacob Stone: 21
Eric Queefson: 26
Reese McFleury: 23
Conference Prince-de-Galles: 37
Yaroslav Bogatyrev: 32
Savaisk Tzesar: 29
Ronald Johnson MacWallace III: 46
Phillip Rave: 21
Gregger McKeggegger: 33
Viktor Jensen: 26
The Total: 345
The Average: 28.75
The Highest points: Ronald Johnson MacWallace III
The Lowest points: Ash Sparks
 
Moscow Menace
Olober Syko: 19
Joseph Reed: 23
Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage: 51
Nils Andersson: 14
Leif Reingaard: 18
Celise Pereira: 17
Jeff Lewis: 25
Grimgor Ironhide: 23
George Richmond: 24
David Rashford: 25
Axle Gunner: 18
Jarmo Ruutu: 19
The Total: 276
The Average: 23
The Highest points: Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage
The Lowest points: Nils Andersson
 
New York Americans
WWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW: 96
Rin Kagamine: 18
Jebediah Big Ol Doinks in Amish: 52
Callum Gary Yannick Janser: 47
Tord Yvel: 15
FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist: 23
Jasper Davis: 24
Alfred Champagne: 29
Keon Jeannot: 22
Vinny Lecavalier: 26
Francesco Mancini: 27
The Total: 379
The Average: 34.45...
The Highest points: WWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW
The Lowest points: Tord Yvel
 
Prague Phantoms
Matt Murdock: 22
Skor McFleury: 26
Pope Francis: 20
Admir Bala: 14
Spanish Moon Moth: 27
Rip Wheeler: 18
John Jameson: 30
Nikolas Kauppi: 25
Chris Sanzone: 26
The Total: 208
The Average: 23.11...
The Highest points: John Jameson
The Lowest points: Admir Bala
 
Riga Reign
Red Panda: 12
Reginald the Dodo: 22
Mina: 6
Braeden Panarella: 21
Fradin McGryer: 25
Martin Kemp: 20
Kimi Raikkonen: 27
Eno Velvson: 16
Otis Boudreaux Jr: 32
Eric White Jr: 26
Shubham Anand: 23
The Total: 230
The Average: 20.90...
The Highest Points: Otis Boudreaux Jr
The Lowest Points: Mina
 
Seattle Bears
Justin Lion: 17
Giorgiy Costanzov: 35
Simons Worst Nightmare: 31
Sigma Freud: 17
Justin Williams: 26
Big B: 9
Toby Kadachi: 26
Sadie St-Louis: 13
Oreo McFleury: 22
Gustav Mattias: 19
Henry Eagles: 18
Severus Targaryen: 23
Tullemore Dew: 18
The Total: 274
The Average: 21.07...
The Highest points: Giorgiy Costanzov
The Lowest points: Big B
 
Toronto Legion
Toddly Bobbly: 26
Joel Castle: 19
Walter Fitzroy Jr: 40
Mason Rice: 13
Bobby Bob: 21
Steve Lattimer: 18
Mac Atlas: 12
Jimi Jaks: 28
Harry Callahan: 24
Diego Machado: 22
Kobe Johnson: 27
The Total: 250
The Average: 22.72..
The Highest points: Walter Fitzroy Jr
The Lowest points: Mac Atlas
 
Vancouver Wolves
Dalkr Vidarsson: 23
Vlad Von Carstein: 24
Guntis Gavilrovs: 23
DB IV: 10
Liv Slater: 12
Jens Lekman: 23
Riley Martin: 16
Mikko Borisyuk: 32
Logan Ninefingers: 21
Larry Abass Jr. 24
Left Alone: 12
Sunglasses Joyo: 25
The Total: 245
The Average: 20.41...
The Highest points: Mikko Borisyuk
The Lowest points: DB IV
 
Warsaw Predators
Pipo Popa: 16
Lachlan Summers: 23
Hannibal Barca: 22
Rex Wolffe Gregor: 33
Tim Riggins: 14
Tater Tottingham: 21
Zyn Westwood: 30
Behrens Minion: 20
Montgomery Burns: 25
King Kisslinger: 24
Thor Reingaard: 18
Maxim Anisimov: 29
The Total: 275
The Average: 22.91...
The Highest points: Rex Wolffe Gregor
The Lowest points: Tim Riggins
 
That concludes the calculating!
Now we can get on with the speculation and talking about the stats!
So to recap
The Highest total points goes to New York Americans with 379, The Single highest point goes to WWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW with 96! (Absurd), and the least points goes to Mina with 6!
The highest average also goes to New York unsurprisingly! Now if we look at some other teams with high averages we can see that Davos with 31.5 is up there in second place! Although they only have 189 total points (the second least) their roster size makes up for that puts them firmly in 2nd place with average. 
So what does this all mean, I can hear you ask. Well nothing to be honest, this is just something I thought would be funny to do and did it. I will be doing one for E and M combined later since this is already 1000 words long!
See you then!
 

 
Total word count 1084
Claiming for week ending 24/3 and 31/3

We are a few days out from the start of a new season. Feeling pretty optimistic about the team this year. We built the team at last Trade Deadline with this upcoming season in mind, and everything has kind of just fell into place. Last year we were stressed just to make playoffs, this year we have an expectation amongst ourselves to be a contender. Feel very lucky to have won Top GM in my first season back as a VHL GM. I think a lot of things just kinda came together last season, I don’t think I did anything too insane. It was a buyers market and if anything I was lucky to have inherited a solid roster with potential that just needed a few good pieces. Excited for the future as Hylands has already been such a valuable add to the management team. Hopefully we can prove why the award was handed out to the Americans! Pretty solid weekend. I had a few Guinness’ in celebration of Paddy’s Day. Watched the Players Championship, won a few bets, lost a few more. Watched T Swifts Eras tour with my daughter for the 7th (no exaggeration) time… got a busy week of work coming up, not looking forward to it lol.

Yeah this is something I’ve meant to look at a long time ago. I think you just mean the player page here but on the player management side, this is a bit more ambitious but I’ve always pictured like a weekly ‘checklist’ that shows what capped you’ve done and your options to get the rest. 

TW; mention of death.


Oliver Loo’s story began when he was born in Star City, Saskatchewan. At the young age of five, he had been adamant about wanting to play hockey, talking excitedly to his parents about VHL legends like Andrew Su @Da_Berr, an amazing forward who exceeded expectations and became a player who would be embedded in history and Chris Hylands @hylands , a player that excelled at both offence and defence leading to his feats to be written in stone, these players being something that would inspire Oliver Loo to ask his parents if he could play hockey.

Although Oliver Loo wanted to play hockey, his parents, Dallas Schumm and Rosemary Loo had their own focuses. His father lived in Melfort, putting all his time into some questionable businesses while only coming to Star City for short visits, while his mother lived in Star City, taking the role of a single parent despite having shared custody of Oliver Loo, even so she was too busy with her gardening. Burying herself in her work as a florist took most of her time, the rest although less was spent with Oliver as she still tried to raise him as much as she could which Oliver was grateful for. The unresponsiveness of Oliver Loo’s parents would put his dreams of being a hockey player to rest, instead choosing to focus on what his parents wanted him to, mainly pushing him to devote all his attention to his education.

His dreams of being a hockey player would be renewed at the age of eleven, in his 6th grade classroom when he met Clay Flemming. A fellow student who would later become Oliver Loo’s best friend. Clay Flemming would be the one to bring up hockey again, a sparkle in his eye as he spoke about his own inspirations and how much he enjoyed playing hockey growing up. He’d be the one to drag Oliver Loo out to a frozen pond in the middle of winter, lend him some extra gear and teach him a thing or two, eventually pushing Oliver to join him on the local Pee Wee team at the ice rink in Star City. With Clay Flemming already having picked jersey #59, Oliver Loo chose #16.

The two would be inseparable, going through the divisions together as best friends and teammates. They would even play on the same line together, Oliver Loo being a right winger and Clay Flemming being a center. Being sure to uplift each other, trying to garner as much attention as they could together in hopes of being noticed but most importantly that their synergy together would be taken into consideration when scouted. They could only hope that they would end up on the same team when they made it into the leagues, they couldn’t imagine being apart.

It would be years later when they finally managed to get signed to a team, after all the hard work they had put in Oliver Loo and Clay Flemming made it into the Saskatchewan Junior Hockey League. Both of them would be signed by the Melfort Mustangs at the age of seventeen. Oliver Loo making the point that they should get an apartment together since they would have to move from Star City to Meltfort and it would solve the living situation. After Oliver Loo would bid his farewells to his mother, he and Clay would be on their way. Oliver would find it a bit difficult to move to a whole new place. Visiting was one thing, but moving there felt like a whole nother thing. He would get past it though, with the help of Clay of course.

Oliver Loo was excited, not only had he finally made it, but he had made it with his best friend and to put the cherry on top they were on the same team. Things couldn’t have been going any better. After getting everything settled, he and Clay Flemming would go down to the Northern Lights Palace Arena, home of the Melfort Mustangs. He would get to know his new teammates, his new coaches, and the stadium itself. The following day would be his first game on the team and a chance for him and Clay Flemming to prove themselves. They would succeed in proving themselves, ending up on the first line their spirits were high.

It would be one year later when Oliver Loo would hit his next bump in the road, something he couldn’t have seen coming and something his mind would always come back to throughout the rest of his hockey career. It was a crucial game, one that would determine whether his team made the playoffs. His best friend and teammate Clay Flemming would get into a fight with one of the opposing players, hitting his head on the ice on the way down. Without the protection of a helmet, which had fallen off mid-fight, Clay Flemming would be taken to the hospital and fall into a coma. Passing away a week later due to a brain bleed.

Oliver Loo would be crushed, devastated that it had happened, and left wondering if he could’ve done anything to prevent it. It was evident that it affected him, his play on the ice becoming worse quicker than he could catch himself and eventually he was waived after two years of little improvement. The league saw no use for a player who couldn’t produce after so much time considering how generous they had been.

After one year, Oliver Loo would receive a call that he wasn’t expecting. A team was willing to sign him after all this time, into a league that he was expecting it from the least. He would accept the offer, signing with the Miami Marauders. An ambitious team in the VHLM, somewhere he could start again, a chance to obtain that dream that he had when he was so much younger. Oliver Loo would choose a new jersey number when going into the VHL scene, he would pick… #59.

1000 words

NEW YORK - In New York, there is no shortage of outstanding goaltenders. Throughout New York City hockey history, there have been some excellent goaltenders from Mike Ritchter to Henrik Lundqvist. Even as we speak, there are amazing goaltenders tending the pipes here in the Big Apple. Former LA Kings star goalie Jonathan Quick is backing up the excellent Igor Shesterkin. And in the VHL, there is the wonderful WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW whose beautiful name gave me a headache when I was trying to count how many Ws there were. However, we often forget about the Georgiev of the teams, the good goaltenders that backed up these amazing stars. Introducing one of the best goaltenders in the history of the VHL, B-NYA G1.
 
B-NYA G1 has always been like Louis Domingue. Very solid and always up when the team needed a goalie to step up but never actually a starter. In fact, he’s very often the third goaltender. B-NYA G1 doesn’t put up stunning numbers. But when called upon, he gives his very best and a solid performance. It is always hard learning about bot players as their stats are not kept and recorded officially. However, you can always find them in the VHFL Top Goalies and Top Skaters archive. Looking at the archive, we see that in S91, B-NYA G1 had another solid season and led bot goalies with 9 wins. Digging more into the archive, we see that in his limited starts he almost met the .920 save percentage threshold. And continuing to look in the archive, we can see that there is even a B-NYA G2 who had basically no playing time and only had 4 shots against.
 
***The quotes by the bots have been translated for your convenience.
“To be honest, I don’t even know why I signed with this team. I guess I just needed the big league contract. I play for a USHL team when I’m not on the bench. Which is very often. I also serve as the emergency goaltender but I don’t think we’ve ever had a situation where we needed to do that.” said B-NYA G2.
 
Being one of the best bot goaltenders in the league has netted B-NYA G1 little to no recognition. For the past while though, he has been quite active as New York puts a lot of trust into WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. As of writing this, they do not currently have another goaltender on their active roster.
 
***B-NYA G1 sat down with us to share his thoughts. “My role is a backup so I don’t need to be spectacular. I have been in the league many years and I have backed up many stunning goalies. I know I’m not meant to be a starter in this league. I have embraced my role fully and I don’t have anything to complain about. I just want people to know that I care about this team and I will never leave it.”
 
Originally drafted from the Tri-City Americans in the WHL, B-NYA G1 was a goalie prospect many years ago that was destined for stardom. And a star he was, winning the award for best goaltender in the AHL. Eventually, he took the VHL path and signed with the New York Americans. For many seasons after, he has been under contract to them.
 
“If I ever retire, I want to retire as an American. It just feels right.”

In a stunning story of heroism, rookie forward Maple Dogwood saved numerous lives when he went to catch a matinee of Dune 2.  
 
"It was one of my few days off from training and I figured why not go relax for a few hours at the movie theatre?  I'd already seen Dune 2 thanks to a special showing from one of my sponsors, so this was my second trip. I was really looking forward to tuning out, but of course that wasn't meant to be. As shocking as it might be, I've never been a huge fan of movie theater popcorn, so it was just Mike & Ikes and a slushie, but everybody in there seemed to have that viral popcorn bucket. You know with the sandworm's mouth on it?  And that's there it all went downhill," Dogwood said. 
 
Apparently two people in the row right in front of him were going all in on the bucket, but they also forgot to take their blood pressure medication, which caused their hands to swell.  And both of them, by some horrible coincidence, got their entire arms stuck inside the popcorn bucket and they couldn't take it out. At first, they didn't worry because they were sure they could un-stuck themselves, but it quickly became apparent that things were serious.
 
"I saw one guy start thrashing around in his seat and trying to free his arm and I honestly has no clue what he was doing initially.  But then his wife started hollering and I knew it was serious.  It took a few minutes for the theater staff to realize what was happening and then they turned the lights on.  The guy's entire arm was turning blue and I thought he was going to have a heart attack.  Somehow, things got worse when the person sitting next to him literally said 'I don't know how that even happens, watch' as he stuck his arm up to the elbow in the bucket.  Sure enough, he got stuck as well," said Dogwood.
 
Both men were quickly losing all feeling in their arms as the theater called 9-1-1 to alert paramedics to their current situation.  Fortunately for those two audience members and their families, Dogwood was there to save the day.
 
"When my grandfather passed away, he gave me his pocket knife and I always carry it with me.  It lasted two wars, so I always thought of it as a nice tribute to him and all he meant to me and my family.  Luckily, it has a small little pair of pop-out scissors and I was able to use those to trim back the teeth on the popcorn bucket mouth thing," he said.
 
Thankfully, he was able to cut both of their arms free in just a matter of minutes and both men didn't even need to seek medical attention.  When the paramedics arrived, they weren't even shocked about the call.
 
"This was the 27th Dune 2 popcorn bucket related call that we've received in the last two weeks. I'm just glad it was an arm this time," said Sgt. Andrew Hockensen from the Atlanta Fire Department. 
 
To thank Dogwood for his quick thinking, AMC offered free tickets for an entire year, which Dogwood promptly donated to the Atlanta Children's Hospital.

@hylands

New York, New York.
 
After being eliminated in the Wild Card Round of the S92 Playoffs, The New York Americans wasted no time getting their ducks in line for the next season. They were outside a playoff spot at Trade Deadline when they made moves to acquire Alfred Champagne, Vinny Lecavalier, and Clueless Wallob. They were able to make a charge and make the playoffs, however fell short. Wallob and Malum Maellard both retired, so it left some holes in the roster, especially on defense. The New York Americans got busy, within the first two days of the off-season were able to make the following transactions:
 
Jasper Davis @Josh re-signs for one year contract extension New York Americans swap first round picks, in addition to sending 2 x 3rd Round Draft Picks to the Malmo Nighthawks to acquire Jebediah Big Ol Doinks in Amish @hylands Big Ol Doinks re-signs a three year contract extension CGY Janser @Daniel Janser re-signs a five year contract extension  
Essentially days into the off-season the New York Americans have shored up their roster for S93. In addition to this, they made a statement that they are here for real. After what was an incredible rookie season 36W has earned his spot as the NYA starting goaltender, after re-signing a contract extension during the S92 season. The Americans still have a long way to go, and the North American Conference only got stronger. They are ready for a test, and GM Vince Wong is excited to get the season started to see his players get back in action.
 
Attention is now VHL Draft focused, where the Americans select at pick #11, after the pick swap with Malmo. After selecting Wayne Gretzky @MubbleFubbles last season, the Americans look to add on to the next wave of players that will help the team seasons into the future. They were ranked in the "bad" category for team's future in @badcolethetitan's surface level league outlook. New York has bolstered their roster without having to surrender a single 1st Round pick - both of their major deals included a pick swap. The Americans have put a emphasis on quality vs. quantity, and are ready to prove that they are not going to flame out any time soon. 

NEW YORK AMERICANS PRESS CONFERENCE
off-season edition!
 
1. What are your early thoughts on the team's chances of success for next season?
2. Do you enjoy the off-season break? Or are you someone who would prefer for it to be shorter?
3. Where in New York City does your player live? Is it right in downtown Manhattan or further away in the suburbs? (i swear i'm not trying to doxx your player)
4. What are your goals for your player next season?
5. What is the most interesting place you would love to visit?
6. In Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, what is your favourite trap that Kevin sets for The Wet Bandits?

i can’t wait for the season 992 world cup!

i can’t wait for the season 992 world cup!

It's a seasonal occurrence that @Spartan  and I have to hire someone new. As much as as we love our new GMs, the job is demanding, activity naturally shifts over time over circumstances that often aren't foreseen, and the VHLM is always hurt by the perception that VHL jobs are "better" or more desirable. That almost forces us to love our new GMs, because watching some of our best leave us every couple months leaves us with the need to go out and get some more of the best.
 
One might think that, because that sweet VHL job is more desirable, there's more to take care of. That's not the case at all. Of course, there are things that mean that a VHL GM needs to have been around the league for long enough to understand very well how it works. Trade talks are more involved, long-term strategy is actually a thing, and there is a bit of an unfortunate perceived need to be among the league's elite that can sway players to want to play for one GM or another. But VHLM GMing carries challenges of its own. There's a need to be online a lot to keep up with new players, the same questions need to be answered over and over, it's a lot more risky in that some new people aren't mature enough to stick around without blowing up or are just here to spam your server, and it's very frustrating for a GM that's invested in their players' success when someone new and promising decides they'd rather not be the latter. It might even take different sorts of people to do well in different places. I'm much more "interpersonal and caring" than I am "logical and calculated", and let's just say I was a very good VHLM GM and leave it at that.
 
Since there's a lot of work, but not in the most obvious ways, there are lots of things I would say to someone GMing for the first time, and there are also lots of things I would say to someone who hasn't yet gotten the chance. Let's talk about both.
 
 
If you're new to GMing (hi @JCarson, @Dadam30, @LucyXpher, and @Nathan_8! I can't believe it's the first time for all of you):
SCOUT THE INCOMING DRAFT CLASSES. People today like to complain about not feeling properly valued if they're not scouted. Respectfully, they can pound sand as far as most of this point goes. You should scout recreates as well, for sure, but scouting first-gens is great for getting them involved and it can also tell you so much about the type of player you're getting and whose company you'll get to enjoy (rather than "have to tolerate") while they play for you. You should ask just a few questions that are relevant to the player experience (I'm still not over getting a 3-page Google Form when I was in the PBE with questions including, and I quote, "Favorite Cheez-It?"). Question lists are acceptable when sent to first-timers, but outright disrespectful to some experienced members who you should know already--go ahead and write up a list for someone who's never been here, but I think it's better in either case to just reach out and try to have a conversation. Nice answers that require thought and are written in complete sentences are a HUGE green flag and can get you massive steals if others haven't put in the same work. Make friends with other GMs. VHLM GM chat can be a very cool place and you want to be right at the front of someone's mind if they're searching for a solid trade partner. They'll also want you to like them for those same reasons and will act accordingly. You will meet people you don't like. You may not get along with every GM, and you certainly won't love every single player that comes into your server. Treat those who aren't outright problems with respect, and feel free to speak up to us if you've got any that are. Every season will feel the same and that's OK. Something I wasn't expecting, and something I started to be dissatisfied with by the time my fourth season rolled around, was that the same exact things always had to be explained to people and the roster mostly reset from one season to another. It might not feel like you're getting anywhere after a while, and this might suck a little bit. But every time you answer one of those same questions for someone, you're helping one more person get where they need to be. Don't lose sight of how special some of your interactions in this first season will be, and realize that you get to do exactly that every time. Your players are going to think you're really cool. VHLM GMs are rewarded like no other role in terms of how they're viewed by new members. Your players will worship the ground you walk on, sometimes even after you move up. This is normal, you should take it as a compliment, and you should live up to that image with every chance you get.  
 
And if you're trying to get in?
 
Show us that you're active enough by being active enough. We often have candidates who just simply haven't done enough to convince us that they're capable. I don't doubt that we've had candidates who would have made good GMs had we noticed. Getting active and staying there for at least a season is certainly a good way to notice, and you should be doing more than just earning. Post interesting stuff on the forums and be on Discord enough that it's reasonably possible that I'll run into you at some point. Also, just be a nice person. We aren't in the business of hiring people that could cause issues. Keep trying. I know it's discouraging to put your name in for something and watch others get hired. Lots of the time, we'll hire something like 2 people when we have 3 or 4 that we think are good enough. That's wonderful and gives us names to keep in mind for next time if you keep trying. Having these first two points in mind will absolutely get you a job if you keep at it long enough. Be a GM for other league tournaments. Running a team for World Juniors or World Cup or even one of the others that isn't officially run by the league is a great way to teach yourself how STHS works, run your own locker room, and have something to mention in your GM applications. It's a great test of whether you'll end up liking the real thing and it might be something we notice you being involved with. Be an AGM. This one is fairly self-explanatory. I don't personally care about anything you do as an AGM, but presumably you'll learn things from your GM that will be transferable skills to a GM job of your own. It also just shows that same willingness to get involved that's present in the last point. Ask questions. My inbox is open, for one. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that. But aside from anything I may or may not have to offer, try learning from those who are already in the positions you want. A lot of that comes with things like being an AGM, but it can also just come from staying connected to GMs by being part of the league. Which mostly just relates to the first point again. Be active and be cool.  
 
The VHLM is an incredible place and I hope all of you have had positive experiences being a part of it. It's with that in mind that I hope you want to have more of that while also creating it for others--and as someone who runs it, let's work together to make it even better.