NSG

1. do not, however I do try to go to the gym once a week and run.
2. Definitely a shower, baths get cold too fast. And yes, I do use conditioner.
3. Winning a ring or an award is always nice, but in the end the big goal is to just have fun.
 
1. What do you think is the most overrated/underrated part of sim leagues in general and why?
2. Describe your ideal sandwich. What type of bread, meat, how many condiments, etc.? 
3. How much a role does music play in your life? Are you involved with it, does it regulate your moods, do you hate music, etc.?

S85 is about to get rolling and the Oslo storm are ready to come out of the gates hot ! Let’s take a look at the roster @JB123has put together this offseason .
 
First let’s take a look at the forwards 
 
John Jameson ( @Frank) C
first off we have Oslo’s first overall pick from the S85 draft. Jameson was also recently named one of the Oslo’s assistant Capitan. Many people thought Jameson was going to be playing in the VHL myself included ! Jameson is one of the top offensive weapons for the storm this year look for him to have a fantastic season before jumping to the VHL next year with Prague .
 
Jon Webber Jr ( @Webberj ) LW
Recently named Oslo’s Capitan. Webber Jr came into this season as one of the top prospects from the S84 draft ! From the beginning of the offseason Webber has been a huge leadership presence in the storm locker room . Webber is everything you want in a winger and Capitan in the VHLE . He’s poised for a huge season this year !
 
Juan Sano lll ( @denns) C
After 3 seasons in the M Sano is bringing his leadership to Oslo this season Also recently named an assistant capitan . Sano Is a very reliable Center and adds to Oslo’s strong forward core . Look for big things offensively from  him this year ! 
 
Todd Cooke C
Cooke is coming into this season as one of Oslo’s top prospects. Cooke projects to be an impact Center this year looking to prove he’s ready for the jump from the VHLM to the VHLE. 
 
Gus Bentley ( @boatsinking123) RW
Bentley is a VHLE vet coming to Oslo via free agency this year . Bentley looks primed to have a big Season in what appears to be how last one before he jumps to the VHL full time . Bentley will fit into Oslo’s top 6 very nicely this year !
 
Arthur Kimura ( @FBR) RW
Kimura returns to Oslo for another season . With all the makings of a speedy scoring winger Look for him to build on the recent success he’s had in recent seasons in the VHLE . Kimura will be a veteran calming presence for Oslo this year !
 
Akio Suzuki ( @Erik) C
Suzuki is young player looking to get some time in the VHLE this year and show he’s got all the makings of a good center man for years to come ! Suzuki is coming off 2 strong season in the VHLM and is excited to get a taste of the VHLE this year
 
David Cobberson ( @David Cobberson) C
Cobberson comes back to Oslo for a second season. Expect big things and huge growth from him this year he’s been putting in the work to improve and contribute to the team . Cobberson is another one of the many leaders Oslo has in the locker room look for him to take another step this upcoming season.
 
Lorenzo Cobberson ( @Hendrix Cobberson) C
Cobberon makes the jump from the VHLM after a huge season last year , Joining his brother in Oslo . Like his brother , Cobberson is looking to take a step forward in his game this year ! He has all the tools to do it , it’s just a matter of putting everything together!
 
There you have it , Oslo’s forward group is very exciting they have a group where everyone is looking to contribute offensively on any given night ! One thing is forsure this team does not lack firepower and depth up front !
 
Next we’ll take a look at defence !
 
Reid Johnson ( @TopTiddee2)
Oslo’s other first round pick from the S85 draft is an absolute stud on the backend . He lays it on the line every single night . One of three promising 2 way defenders coming up this season Johnson was a very good defender on a championship Vegas team in S84 and looks to bring that experience from last year to Oslo this year ! 
 
Nicholas Blue ( @lidz ) 
Blue returns to Oslo for another season and will be looked too , to lead the backend this year . Blue looks to be a solid two way defender that can play big minutes and contribute on both ends of the ice ! Look for blue to be the veteran calming influence for the younger defenders coming up this year

Brodie Landry lll ( @Brodie_Landry)
Brodie like Johnson is another stud coming up from the VHLM this year. Finishing last year scoring over a point per game ! Landry can flat out put up points while not sacrificing too much on the defensive side of the puck as well . 

Hunor Solyom ( @solyom)
Solyom comes to Oslo after 3 good seasons in the VHLM . Solyom is the third in the group of two way defenders making the jump to Oslo this year . Expect him to be good in both zones and contribute wherever he can !
 
Overall Oslo’s d core has 4 very good promising defenders who play great in all 3 zones ! 
 
Finally we look at the goaltending tandem that Oslo will run into the season 
 
Henry Tucker Jr ( @NSG ) 
Tucker comes into this year with a slight edge and will be leaned on as the starter for Oslo . Tucker was the STEAL of the draft this year at 12th overall and looks to establish himself as one of the top Goalies in the VHLE this season ! 
 
Sam Tombstone ( @samthemancub)
Tombstone is everything you want in a Goalie in this league and he will complement Tucker nicely ! Tombstone will get his fair share of games in and show he’s no slouch either !
 
Oslo’s Goaltending tandem is a position of strength for them and in my opinion one of the top tandems in the league ! 
 
well folks there you have it ! Oslo has a lot to be excited for as this looks to be a huge season of growth for them! Coming off the heels of a season where they finished last in the VHLE the look to have one of the stronger teams in the league ! It all starts tomorrow when the first some of the season takes place for what is looking to be like an exciting season !
 
LETS GO STORM !
 
1012 words
 
claiming for weeks ending
11/09/2022
18/09/2022 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I just want TPE cuz if my parents found a Switch in the mailbox from some white guy in Canada they'd be concerned

Just tell them you won it in an online raffle which is the truth

I just want TPE cuz if my parents found a Switch in the mailbox from some white guy in Canada they'd be concerned

I just want TPE cuz if my parents found a Switch in the mailbox from some white guy in Canada they'd be concerned

I just want TPE cuz if my parents found a Switch in the mailbox from some white guy in Canada they'd be concerned

I just want TPE cuz if my parents found a Switch in the mailbox from some white guy in Canada they'd be concerned

11 seasons after Henry Tucker, then an obscure 66 TPE right wing, was selected 73rd overall by the Minnesota Storm, then of the VHLM, his son, Henry Tucker Jr., a slightly less obscure 320 TPE goalie, was taken 12th overall by the Oslo Storm, now of the VHLE. Even though Tucker Jr. is no longer united with his good pal Tater Tottingham, full-circle moments continue to happen as the netminder returns to the franchise that his dad was drafted to, and just as Tucker's final stomping ground before the bigs was with the Storm, so it will be with Tucker Jr. Unfortunately for Tucker Jr., though, his 1-season stop is 22 hours away from his pro franchise, in Riga, so it'll be a bit of a drive (and, according to Google Maps, a ferry ride as well), however, it's well worth it (as long as it doesn't infringe upon his performance in Oslo) as the players in that locker room today will be the people trying to protect him from shots tomorrow.
 
The offseason is slow, though, and I've just left the VHLM, so likely to the delight of @Shindigs, IT'S TIME FOR STATS! To save a little time, though, in order to get on the list, I must have placed in the top 25.
 
Halifax
Wins: 7 (22nd) - Not that bad for not placing in games, I'll take it!
 
SV%: .908 (3rd) - I was 2nd entering the season, but props to Bezos, as he managed an amazing .920 SV% across a full season of work. Still liking my spot in the top 3 though.
 
GAA: 1.61 (1st) - Bezos may have me beat in SV%, but he wasn't able to top my amazing GAA. Huge thanks to sam for assembling an amazing defense that year.
 
Shutouts: 1 (T-17th) - I guess all the other goalies sucked? Of all the goalies with 1 SHO, though, I have the fewest games played, at 8.
 
Mexico City
 
Regular Season 
 
Games: 48 (13th) - Splitting time with Swayman pushed me down some, but honestly I don't care.
 
Wins: 26 (9th) - In spite of the lower amount of games, he somehow still managed to get into the top 10, which I'll take.
 
Losses: 13 (15th) - Of the 22 goalies, I'm particularly low here, but still on the radar. Such is the life of a starting goalie.
 
OTL: 8 (4th) - Leading the league in OTL did wonders, as he has more OTL than every goalie except those with more than 125 GP, and even Solomon Crawford (75 GM) was no match for him.
 
SV%: .906 (5th) - Well, in my defense, one of them only played 2 games so I'm really mor top 4 in this one, and another only played 18 games and had a 4.45 GAA, so he's kinda lame.
 
GAA: 2.11 (2nd) - Finishing only behind backup Swayman was an amazing feat and it really shows how amazingly deep the goaltending was for us this year.
 
SHO: 7 (T-3rd) - While I did not finish 1st here either, I did finished 1 behind a Zamboni Driver (72 GM), 3 behind Emerson Jr (128 GM) and tied with a dude who had 183 GM. Because of that, I did actually claim the best games to shutouts rate in team history, with me recording a shutout once ever 6.86 games, so another great achievement.
 
Playoffs (Only 12 goalies made it, so I need to be in top 10 here) 
 
GM: 10 (7th) - Interestingly enough, I have the fewest games of any MEX goalie who won a playoff series. Everybody else was able to at least make it 11 games.
 
Wins: 5 (7th) - Yeah yeah yeah, same thing as what I said above.
 
Losses: 4 (T-5th) - Not really hyped to this high, but on the bright side, the dude I'm tied with got swept. Big L for him.
 
OTL: 1 (T-3rd) - Managed to finish higher on the playoff leaderboard than reg. season leaderboard in this regard, but it doesn't matter. Fun fact: OTL in playoffs still equals a loss.
 
SV%: .930 (1st) - Unlike most people topping this list, I have 2 reasons why I won this. First, I did get a lot of shots from silly Las Vegas, but I also was just a good goalie in general, as you'll see in the next stat...
 
GAA: 2.26 (1st) - Let's gooooooooooo I completed the duo of GAA and SV%! Haters gonna hate, but I shook it off and proved how stupid they were.
 
And that's all there is for this article, besides this spoiler below. Will it have more content, more stats, a rickroll, a collection of Taylor Swift lyrics, or a picture of a sandwich? Well, there's only one way to find out...
 
 

11 seasons after Henry Tucker, then an obscure 66 TPE right wing, was selected 73rd overall by the Minnesota Storm, then of the VHLM, his son, Henry Tucker Jr., a slightly less obscure 320 TPE goalie, was taken 12th overall by the Oslo Storm, now of the VHLE. Even though Tucker Jr. is no longer united with his good pal Tater Tottingham, full-circle moments continue to happen as the netminder returns to the franchise that his dad was drafted to, and just as Tucker's final stomping ground before the bigs was with the Storm, so it will be with Tucker Jr. Unfortunately for Tucker Jr., though, his 1-season stop is 22 hours away from his pro franchise, in Riga, so it'll be a bit of a drive (and, according to Google Maps, a ferry ride as well), however, it's well worth it (as long as it doesn't infringe upon his performance in Oslo) as the players in that locker room today will be the people trying to protect him from shots tomorrow.
 
The offseason is slow, though, and I've just left the VHLM, so likely to the delight of @Shindigs, IT'S TIME FOR STATS! To save a little time, though, in order to get on the list, I must have placed in the top 25.
 
Halifax
Wins: 7 (22nd) - Not that bad for not placing in games, I'll take it!
 
SV%: .908 (3rd) - I was 2nd entering the season, but props to Bezos, as he managed an amazing .920 SV% across a full season of work. Still liking my spot in the top 3 though.
 
GAA: 1.61 (1st) - Bezos may have me beat in SV%, but he wasn't able to top my amazing GAA. Huge thanks to sam for assembling an amazing defense that year.
 
Shutouts: 1 (T-17th) - I guess all the other goalies sucked? Of all the goalies with 1 SHO, though, I have the fewest games played, at 8.
 
Mexico City
 
Regular Season 
 
Games: 48 (13th) - Splitting time with Swayman pushed me down some, but honestly I don't care.
 
Wins: 26 (9th) - In spite of the lower amount of games, he somehow still managed to get into the top 10, which I'll take.
 
Losses: 13 (15th) - Of the 22 goalies, I'm particularly low here, but still on the radar. Such is the life of a starting goalie.
 
OTL: 8 (4th) - Leading the league in OTL did wonders, as he has more OTL than every goalie except those with more than 125 GP, and even Solomon Crawford (75 GM) was no match for him.
 
SV%: .906 (5th) - Well, in my defense, one of them only played 2 games so I'm really mor top 4 in this one, and another only played 18 games and had a 4.45 GAA, so he's kinda lame.
 
GAA: 2.11 (2nd) - Finishing only behind backup Swayman was an amazing feat and it really shows how amazingly deep the goaltending was for us this year.
 
SHO: 7 (T-3rd) - While I did not finish 1st here either, I did finished 1 behind a Zamboni Driver (72 GM), 3 behind Emerson Jr (128 GM) and tied with a dude who had 183 GM. Because of that, I did actually claim the best games to shutouts rate in team history, with me recording a shutout once ever 6.86 games, so another great achievement.
 
Playoffs (Only 12 goalies made it, so I need to be in top 10 here) 
 
GM: 10 (7th) - Interestingly enough, I have the fewest games of any MEX goalie who won a playoff series. Everybody else was able to at least make it 11 games.
 
Wins: 5 (7th) - Yeah yeah yeah, same thing as what I said above.
 
Losses: 4 (T-5th) - Not really hyped to this high, but on the bright side, the dude I'm tied with got swept. Big L for him.
 
OTL: 1 (T-3rd) - Managed to finish higher on the playoff leaderboard than reg. season leaderboard in this regard, but it doesn't matter. Fun fact: OTL in playoffs still equals a loss.
 
SV%: .930 (1st) - Unlike most people topping this list, I have 2 reasons why I won this. First, I did get a lot of shots from silly Las Vegas, but I also was just a good goalie in general, as you'll see in the next stat...
 
GAA: 2.26 (1st) - Let's gooooooooooo I completed the duo of GAA and SV%! Haters gonna hate, but I shook it off and proved how stupid they were.
 
And that's all there is for this article, besides this spoiler below. Will it have more content, more stats, a rickroll, a collection of Taylor Swift lyrics, or a picture of a sandwich? Well, there's only one way to find out...
 
 

Welcome to my first ever pick your adventure style article, it will also be my only. Start off by picking a position.
 
A: Defense
B: Forward
C: Goalie
 
 
A: You sadly get drafted to DC. You spend your entire career there and because they're so bad you rack up around 350 shot blocks per game and are their only decent player. You finish your career with 700 points and around 200000 shot blocks. You make the hall of fame after 5 attempts.
 
B: Toronto trades for all the first round picks so you end up there. You spend two seasons playing great hockey and you sign an extension as the team is getting better and better. Cup hopes are gleaming. You and the entire team are then traded for future first round picks and the cycle continues.
 
C:  You get drafted to Vancouver, where you sign an eight year contract. You play as backup for your entire career. Due to a Vancouver curse, you only play 36 career games as your GM keeps forgetting to do their backup games.
 

I didn't forget you were taken, some info isn't going to get mentioned when you only have a 100 word limit

FERK

Well, as Lizzo sings, it's about damn time, and she's right! The Season 85 VHL Entry Draft starts in just 30 minutes, and goalie Henry Tucker Jr., formerly of the Mexico City Kings, is considered one of the top prospects in the draft, and decisively the second best goalie, behind Murdock. It could be a long night of waiting for HTJ, but given that Murdock's agent is picking 2nd and John Jameson's agent is going first, it seems likely that those two will go 1-2. London goes 3rd, and they expressed their interest in Tucker Jr. yesterday, making it very likely that HTJ will go 3rd overall. If that does not come to pass, however, Riga and Calgary have also put their eyes on the young netminder and it is almost a guarantee that he will go in the top 10, especially with the agent's willingness to consistently earn 12/12, his willingness to stick with 1 team, and thanks to the massive success of the original Henry Tucker, HTJ's reputation precedes him. 
 
Ultimately, it's gonna be a night of fun, games, and intensity as Tucker Jr. watches from the same couch that his dad was sitting in when the Vancouver Wolves took him with the 26th pick of the Season 76 VHL Entry Draft. Now, 10 seasons later, the NSG Agency can only watch and hope that the newest's Tucker doesn't get as acquainted with that couch as his dad did.

I knew right when I looked at the title that this was a Ruutu article

New York Americans, 19 players in the system - all welfare earners or inactive. Every single one, I clicked through all of them. In the VHL roster, you can find four or five GMs and active users. The funny thing is that New York was not even the worst team in the league.  New York finished  6th in NA with 61 points. Los Angeles had 51 points.  Los Angeles has 15 players in the system, 13 of them are welfare earners or inactive. In the VHL roster, you can find 4 or 5 active users. Vancouver Wolves finished last in NA with 43 points.  Vancouver has 9 players in the system, and all of them are welfare earners or inactive. In the VHL roster, you can find maybe 3 active users.
 
After analyzing these three teams, I want to ask: who is making sure those who fight against multis are not creating multis themselves? Who is making sure these welfare users are not controlled by the league?
Go look at the rosters and prospect pools of these three teams. Look at the names. Who are these people? Quite a few show up, just to click a few buttons. Common to see that there is very little activity on the forum.  They do not read anything. They do not react to anything. Do they even follow the sims? It is odd to think so many enjoy the "community" but do not react to anything on the forum. Some might browse VHL without logging into their accounts, but you would think at some point they stumble on content that is just "too good" to not react to, maybe even comment. Still, so few do that. That is odd.

It is obvious that so many show up to click those few buttons after receiving ping from a GM in the Discord locker room. Is that not technically like controlling multiple users? The GM or assistant GM, directly or via a bot, has to remind the users to come in and click a few buttons.  That is one step away from the users just giving their login information away and the GM's login to push those buttons themselves.
Even if they are considered rebuilding or tanking teams, it is crazy to think that New York, LA, and Vancouver struggle to have 10 active players combined. Why are these teams in the league? Why do we have so many teams in the league? These welfare players should be in another league. These teams should be in another league.  They do not belong to VHL.
 
 

 
VHL should be a competitive league, where every team has a good chance to win and compete. Some teams are always better, but maybe it is time to ask for more if three teams on average have 4 active players. What kind of user experience is that? Can you imagine spending months and months earning TPE in a team that is going absolutely nowhere, NOWHERE. The icing on the cake is that your GM is playing in some other team, competing while you sit there next to an army of welfare users and maybe a few other active users.  
 
If you are a relatively new user, let me ask you this: why? Why would you join this experience now? The user experience is at the all-time low. Nobody reads anything. Nobody listens to anything. Nobody comments on anything. This league is full of bots.  You are far better off starting a TikTok channel right now. If you can't dance or speak. It does not matter. Starting the TikTok channel is still a better use of your time. I will bet anything that I own that you are able to have more discussion about hockey in your TikTok comments section than anywhere in VHL. On top of that, you will learn more about yourself on TikTok.  You will learn valuable skills. You will have a way better time than in VHL.  If you are an experienced user, maybe on your second or third player, time to call it a day. This will be your last player. Use what you have learned so far on something else. Start a graphics career. Get a writing job of some sort.  Whatever. It is time to leave.
 
 

 
If you want to be a GM in VHL, let me ask you this: why? Why would you want to GM a welfare team, you just want the prestige of being a GM and ignore the competing part completely? Do you think you will turn the team around? It's impossible. There are not enough truly active users.  This league is full of bots. You will get absolutely nowhere with welfare players. Anyone who says that is lying to you. Welfare players are useless. Welfare players are good for lazy general managers who only care about their own GM experience. They want it easy. They do not care about the league. If they cared about the league they would actively shame welfare players for being what they are - useless. General managers who say welfare players are useful are like the cryptocurrency promoters you see in every single cryptocurrency forum. They will push the cryptocurrency of their choice down your throat, hyping it up, making you believe it's a valuable and smart investment.  In reality, everything is a lie. All based on potential and what if. Just like welfare players.  You will hear these lines: "The welfare player could turn it around, I know plenty of examples. Welfare does not mean inactive user.  The welfare player is still a useful player, I know a team that did well with welfare player".  All lies. Useless. Terrible for the team. Terrible for the league.

I think the league should remove the welfare button from the portal and bring claiming welfare back to the forum. That way independent researchers, like myself, are able to collect data and facts about these users to analyze whether they are real people, or fake accounts created by the league to keep numbers up.  I want to see when these users claim welfare. I also want to make it illegal for GMs to send any type of reminders about TPE earning to their players, anywhere in any way. Who is going to police that? The moderators. For once, make them do some actual work.

VHL, the beautiful garden of the past is now full of weeds. What used to be fertile ground is now covered in rainbow-colored concrete. What used to be a pretty lake where you were able to catch fish is now a graveyard full of computer parts removed from old welfare users. What used to be a park where ideas and thoughts were discussed is now a public toilet where users, like myself, talk about nothing to nobody.
 
1000 words
 
22. 8 - 28.8
29.8 - 4.9
 

In Vancouver it starts at the top, where the GM is also a bot. 

I did!

It's actually not a permission thing, I just have my trade secrets 👁️

Sorry I meant best people
 
Stupid autocorrect

Sorry I meant best people
 
Stupid autocorrect

it's ok, i still think you're a good person

I will be VHL’s next savage rapper boy, and I’ll be going by the stage name of M.C. Ayy.
 
“Why M.C. Ayy?” you may ask. 
 
Simply because I’m fun to stay at. But also, I’ll be taking down all these fake fools with my slick beats.

Honestly look at @Dil. If you told me when he joined that in a few years he’d be a mod and a GM I would have laughed at you because he was an annoying kid. He’s still an annoying kid of course but he filed down the rough edges a bit.

Yeah that'd be a pretty nice outing as it is indeed a fun place to stay at