AIM-11

Time to Settle the Dispute
 

 
For years the SHL and the VHL have waged simulated war on one another.  Though real blood has not been spilled, there have been many tears, mounds of teenage angst, and hundreds of keyboards damaged in Mountain Dew fueled rages as articles are spasmed into existence at the various message boards the leagues operate on.
 
This is no ordinary war.  It is a cold war.  A war which can only be decided on the greatest battlefield known to simulated man.  The Simulated Hockey Arena!
 
It is no secret that there has always been some tension between the SHL and the VHL, and while it's generally low key and friendly, there's no doubt that both sides would love to finally demonstrate their true greatness in some fashion.  Well now the time has come to make it happen.  The STHS Player League Summit Series has been proposed.
 
What Is This Madness?
 
In 1972 the two greatest hockey powers in the world, Canada and Russia, sought to assert their dominance during the Cold War.  The Summit Series was born and the result was a series of ankle-breaking, Henderson-scoring, Ruskie-dangling, Espo-ranting, and Eagleson-fuming games that will live on forever in the memories of hockey fans forever.
 
The STHS Player League Summit Series is an opportunity to recreate those memorable moments, but to do it with the two greatest Player Sim Leagues on the planet.  The idea would be to create two rosters full of the best of the best from both leagues, and put them in an eight game series for the ages.
 
The first four games would be played using the SHL settings, and the second, using the VHL settings.  The first team to win 5 games, or in the case of a 4-4 Series tie, the team with the best goal differential, will be crowned the greatest of all time (or in the case of the losing team, all memory of the activity will be wiped from the league consciousness).
 

 
How Would it Work?
 
Obviously both leagues have different point caps and different setups, so there would need to be some tweaks made to the format, as well as to the player setups, to make it fair for both sides.
 
For starters, both rosters would need to have players with the same capped level of TPE, to prevent a mismatch from occuring.  Since the SHL uses more stats, it would also be important to both allow for VHL players to have additional stats when playing by the SHL rules, and for SHL players to have those extra stats removed, when playing by the VHL rules.  Keeping the TPE caps the same would be a challenge in this case, but it's not an obstacle that is impossible to overcome.
 
Next, the leagues would need to commit to a certain standardized set of settings to be used by each league.  The first four games would be setup according to the standard SHL settings, and the final four according to the standard VHL settings.  This would provide the closest example of 'home ice advantage' as we could really make in the sim.
 
Furthermore, Injuries should be cranked up in the sim on both ends.  A bloody hell-fest is exactly what the real Summit Series was, and that's what we need to recreate here. No replacing injured players when Turd Ferguson comes along and breaks your femur with a two-handed chop to the leg.
 
Would This be as Awesome as it Sounds?
 
This would be better than you can imagine.  Picture the best players in the past 20+ seasons in the SHL lining up against the top players from 40+ seasons in the VHL.  Clutch goals, brutal fights, ESPN-worthy injuries - the series would have it all. 
 
Each game could be setup with a podcast, featuring players from both leagues, and videos that bring trashtalk and speeches to rally up the fanbases for each side.  This would be something talked about until the heat death of the Universe.
 
Let's make this happen folks.  This needs to happen.  SimonT himself wants this to happen.  There can be only one!

Make it so that you no longer have any benefit to staying in the VHLM once you hit the cap.  That way the VHL teams will actually WANT to call up their players.
 
It's stupid that players would choose the VHLM over playing in the VHL.

Next season will be a year for Davos to start making people worried.  2 seasons from now we'll be crushing the league.

I would not personally choose Gateway or Dell. 

Time to Settle the Dispute
 

 
For years the SHL and the VHL have waged simulated war on one another.  Though real blood has not been spilled, there have been many tears, mounds of teenage angst, and hundreds of keyboards damaged in Mountain Dew fueled rages as articles are spasmed into existence at the various message boards the leagues operate on.
 
This is no ordinary war.  It is a cold war.  A war which can only be decided on the greatest battlefield known to simulated man.  The Simulated Hockey Arena!
 
It is no secret that there has always been some tension between the SHL and the VHL, and while it's generally low key and friendly, there's no doubt that both sides would love to finally demonstrate their true greatness in some fashion.  Well now the time has come to make it happen.  The STHS Player League Summit Series has been proposed.
 
What Is This Madness?
 
In 1972 the two greatest hockey powers in the world, Canada and Russia, sought to assert their dominance during the Cold War.  The Summit Series was born and the result was a series of ankle-breaking, Henderson-scoring, Ruskie-dangling, Espo-ranting, and Eagleson-fuming games that will live on forever in the memories of hockey fans forever.
 
The STHS Player League Summit Series is an opportunity to recreate those memorable moments, but to do it with the two greatest Player Sim Leagues on the planet.  The idea would be to create two rosters full of the best of the best from both leagues, and put them in an eight game series for the ages.
 
The first four games would be played using the SHL settings, and the second, using the VHL settings.  The first team to win 5 games, or in the case of a 4-4 Series tie, the team with the best goal differential, will be crowned the greatest of all time (or in the case of the losing team, all memory of the activity will be wiped from the league consciousness).
 

 
How Would it Work?
 
Obviously both leagues have different point caps and different setups, so there would need to be some tweaks made to the format, as well as to the player setups, to make it fair for both sides.
 
For starters, both rosters would need to have players with the same capped level of TPE, to prevent a mismatch from occuring.  Since the SHL uses more stats, it would also be important to both allow for VHL players to have additional stats when playing by the SHL rules, and for SHL players to have those extra stats removed, when playing by the VHL rules.  Keeping the TPE caps the same would be a challenge in this case, but it's not an obstacle that is impossible to overcome.
 
Next, the leagues would need to commit to a certain standardized set of settings to be used by each league.  The first four games would be setup according to the standard SHL settings, and the final four according to the standard VHL settings.  This would provide the closest example of 'home ice advantage' as we could really make in the sim.
 
Furthermore, Injuries should be cranked up in the sim on both ends.  A bloody hell-fest is exactly what the real Summit Series was, and that's what we need to recreate here. No replacing injured players when Turd Ferguson comes along and breaks your femur with a two-handed chop to the leg.
 
Would This be as Awesome as it Sounds?
 
This would be better than you can imagine.  Picture the best players in the past 20+ seasons in the SHL lining up against the top players from 40+ seasons in the VHL.  Clutch goals, brutal fights, ESPN-worthy injuries - the series would have it all. 
 
Each game could be setup with a podcast, featuring players from both leagues, and videos that bring trashtalk and speeches to rally up the fanbases for each side.  This would be something talked about until the heat death of the Universe.
 
Let's make this happen folks.  This needs to happen.  SimonT himself wants this to happen.  There can be only one!

Is that mini wheat Kyle Kingma?

Indeed.  Always nice to have monuments built in your honour, even after you've been a real jerk!
 
Commas are my nemesis. 

VHLRPG - The Idea
 

 
Due to the booming popularity of high quality games like Skyrim, Diablo III, and Oregon Trail, it is surprising the VHL has not already jumped on the bandwagon of fantasy roleplaying games.  True, the VHL itself is one giant roleplaying game, but there is an argument to be made that there is a market out there for dragon-slaying VHL players.
 
The VHL is a worldwide brand, with fans from all around the globe cheering on their players, calculating their stats, and drafting them in fantasy hockey leagues.  The reality is that the line between fantasy hockey, and Dungeons and Dragons, is a lot more blurry than you might expect.  While many fantasy hockey enthusiasts might not want to admit the number of hours they spend making their scoliosis worse as they hunch over a keyboard late into the evening on a regular basis, the truth is a large percentage of VHL members likely suffer from serious carpal tunnel due to their online addictions.
 
Knowing this, it's not hard to imagine a sizeable chunk of the VHL membership getting very excited over the idea of several of their VHL heroes, either past or present, teaming up to slay dragons, seducing well endowed warlock women, or solving riddles to find hidden treasure that will enable them to save the world.
 
Character Creation
 

 
The actual character creation process for such a game would be very simple as long as the stats, skills, and spells were tied into already existing VHL stats and details. 
 
For example, Scoring could be related to Dexterity, and Defense to Constitution.  To add some variety to the characters, other things, such as spells and skills, could be connected to more fluid VHL things.  Each of the current VHL teams might represent a Class, while the effectiveness of a Magic Missile spell might depend on the average number of hits that player gave out during the past 5 VHL games. 
 
There are a huge number of potential ideas that could work together to add a great deal of depth to the characters in the game.
 
The Quests
 
The real meat and potatoes of a VHLRPG would involve the Quests that our glorious heroes would take part in.  Imagine Daisuke Kanou, Brett Slobodzian, and Ansgar Snijider teaming up to infiltrate a cursed underwater temple in search of a withered camel's toe that is said to bring about the gift of immortal life. 
 
Along the way they run into their mortal enemy, Jody 3 Moons, the hormonal wererat who will go to any lengths to prevent people from entering the Tomb that he guards. 
 
Characters could be built to play either side of the story, good or evil, and pitting some of the league's top personalities, both past and present, would set up epic levels of engaging storylines that everyone could enjoy!
 
Alright, I'm interested.  How would we pull this off?
 
This idea would create a couple jobs in the VHL that could be used to earn TPE. 
 
First, there would be the VHLRPG Character Generation Manager.  This job would take care of converting VHL players into VHLRPG characters if those players request to be added to the game.  They would also be in charge of monitoring and managing any changes that might happen to the characters based on team changes, or other fluid VHL stats.  It would be a fairly straightforward job that would need a basic level of attention to detail.
 
Second, there would be the VHLRPG Campaign Manager.  This job would involve setting up the individual quests, crunching any specific quest based numbers, and acting as the real creative genius behind the stories.  It would be a job that would require a high level of creativity as well as a high level of activity to do the job well.
 
Finally, there would be a one time job needed to come up with the basic Character Creation template.  Determining which VHL stats translated into which VHLRPG stats, as well as how to determine things such as spells, attacks, defense, and other similar things, would be a rather large job, but thankfully would only need to be done once. 
 
This is a pretty big idea, and might not ever be attainable, but if it happens would likely be very well received by many members here in the VHL.
 

VHLRPG - The Idea
 

 
Due to the booming popularity of high quality games like Skyrim, Diablo III, and Oregon Trail, it is surprising the VHL has not already jumped on the bandwagon of fantasy roleplaying games.  True, the VHL itself is one giant roleplaying game, but there is an argument to be made that there is a market out there for dragon-slaying VHL players.
 
The VHL is a worldwide brand, with fans from all around the globe cheering on their players, calculating their stats, and drafting them in fantasy hockey leagues.  The reality is that the line between fantasy hockey, and Dungeons and Dragons, is a lot more blurry than you might expect.  While many fantasy hockey enthusiasts might not want to admit the number of hours they spend making their scoliosis worse as they hunch over a keyboard late into the evening on a regular basis, the truth is a large percentage of VHL members likely suffer from serious carpal tunnel due to their online addictions.
 
Knowing this, it's not hard to imagine a sizeable chunk of the VHL membership getting very excited over the idea of several of their VHL heroes, either past or present, teaming up to slay dragons, seducing well endowed warlock women, or solving riddles to find hidden treasure that will enable them to save the world.
 
Character Creation
 

 
The actual character creation process for such a game would be very simple as long as the stats, skills, and spells were tied into already existing VHL stats and details. 
 
For example, Scoring could be related to Dexterity, and Defense to Constitution.  To add some variety to the characters, other things, such as spells and skills, could be connected to more fluid VHL things.  Each of the current VHL teams might represent a Class, while the effectiveness of a Magic Missile spell might depend on the average number of hits that player gave out during the past 5 VHL games. 
 
There are a huge number of potential ideas that could work together to add a great deal of depth to the characters in the game.
 
The Quests
 
The real meat and potatoes of a VHLRPG would involve the Quests that our glorious heroes would take part in.  Imagine Daisuke Kanou, Brett Slobodzian, and Ansgar Snijider teaming up to infiltrate a cursed underwater temple in search of a withered camel's toe that is said to bring about the gift of immortal life. 
 
Along the way they run into their mortal enemy, Jody 3 Moons, the hormonal wererat who will go to any lengths to prevent people from entering the Tomb that he guards. 
 
Characters could be built to play either side of the story, good or evil, and pitting some of the league's top personalities, both past and present, would set up epic levels of engaging storylines that everyone could enjoy!
 
Alright, I'm interested.  How would we pull this off?
 
This idea would create a couple jobs in the VHL that could be used to earn TPE. 
 
First, there would be the VHLRPG Character Generation Manager.  This job would take care of converting VHL players into VHLRPG characters if those players request to be added to the game.  They would also be in charge of monitoring and managing any changes that might happen to the characters based on team changes, or other fluid VHL stats.  It would be a fairly straightforward job that would need a basic level of attention to detail.
 
Second, there would be the VHLRPG Campaign Manager.  This job would involve setting up the individual quests, crunching any specific quest based numbers, and acting as the real creative genius behind the stories.  It would be a job that would require a high level of creativity as well as a high level of activity to do the job well.
 
Finally, there would be a one time job needed to come up with the basic Character Creation template.  Determining which VHL stats translated into which VHLRPG stats, as well as how to determine things such as spells, attacks, defense, and other similar things, would be a rather large job, but thankfully would only need to be done once. 
 
This is a pretty big idea, and might not ever be attainable, but if it happens would likely be very well received by many members here in the VHL.
 

VHLRPG - The Idea
 

 
Due to the booming popularity of high quality games like Skyrim, Diablo III, and Oregon Trail, it is surprising the VHL has not already jumped on the bandwagon of fantasy roleplaying games.  True, the VHL itself is one giant roleplaying game, but there is an argument to be made that there is a market out there for dragon-slaying VHL players.
 
The VHL is a worldwide brand, with fans from all around the globe cheering on their players, calculating their stats, and drafting them in fantasy hockey leagues.  The reality is that the line between fantasy hockey, and Dungeons and Dragons, is a lot more blurry than you might expect.  While many fantasy hockey enthusiasts might not want to admit the number of hours they spend making their scoliosis worse as they hunch over a keyboard late into the evening on a regular basis, the truth is a large percentage of VHL members likely suffer from serious carpal tunnel due to their online addictions.
 
Knowing this, it's not hard to imagine a sizeable chunk of the VHL membership getting very excited over the idea of several of their VHL heroes, either past or present, teaming up to slay dragons, seducing well endowed warlock women, or solving riddles to find hidden treasure that will enable them to save the world.
 
Character Creation
 

 
The actual character creation process for such a game would be very simple as long as the stats, skills, and spells were tied into already existing VHL stats and details. 
 
For example, Scoring could be related to Dexterity, and Defense to Constitution.  To add some variety to the characters, other things, such as spells and skills, could be connected to more fluid VHL things.  Each of the current VHL teams might represent a Class, while the effectiveness of a Magic Missile spell might depend on the average number of hits that player gave out during the past 5 VHL games. 
 
There are a huge number of potential ideas that could work together to add a great deal of depth to the characters in the game.
 
The Quests
 
The real meat and potatoes of a VHLRPG would involve the Quests that our glorious heroes would take part in.  Imagine Daisuke Kanou, Brett Slobodzian, and Ansgar Snijider teaming up to infiltrate a cursed underwater temple in search of a withered camel's toe that is said to bring about the gift of immortal life. 
 
Along the way they run into their mortal enemy, Jody 3 Moons, the hormonal wererat who will go to any lengths to prevent people from entering the Tomb that he guards. 
 
Characters could be built to play either side of the story, good or evil, and pitting some of the league's top personalities, both past and present, would set up epic levels of engaging storylines that everyone could enjoy!
 
Alright, I'm interested.  How would we pull this off?
 
This idea would create a couple jobs in the VHL that could be used to earn TPE. 
 
First, there would be the VHLRPG Character Generation Manager.  This job would take care of converting VHL players into VHLRPG characters if those players request to be added to the game.  They would also be in charge of monitoring and managing any changes that might happen to the characters based on team changes, or other fluid VHL stats.  It would be a fairly straightforward job that would need a basic level of attention to detail.
 
Second, there would be the VHLRPG Campaign Manager.  This job would involve setting up the individual quests, crunching any specific quest based numbers, and acting as the real creative genius behind the stories.  It would be a job that would require a high level of creativity as well as a high level of activity to do the job well.
 
Finally, there would be a one time job needed to come up with the basic Character Creation template.  Determining which VHL stats translated into which VHLRPG stats, as well as how to determine things such as spells, attacks, defense, and other similar things, would be a rather large job, but thankfully would only need to be done once. 
 
This is a pretty big idea, and might not ever be attainable, but if it happens would likely be very well received by many members here in the VHL.
 

Michael Bay suggests 1 dose of gross slut combined with as many explosions you can fit into 2 hours.  Add in a dash metallic testicles and a sprig of shaky camera work and you got yourself a blockbuster!

After consulting with my team of googlebots I have determined that you have a girl's name.  That is all.

So ... no one actually wants to run with the Robotic Free Agency idea hey?  I think it has some real merit to it.

Fine by me.  You can believe the letter e is offensive for all I care.  I didnt lose any points so I'm not too worried about, but I'd have to challenge you to a duel to the death had this meant a loss of a point! 

A team of artificial intelligence has been hard at work for several years now wading through Munk's Fan590 Articles.  Long suspected of being a genius who actually just pretended to have low grade brain damage, Munk's articles have been a source of research for a long time by a team put together at the National University of Defense Technology in China.
 
Well over 10 seasons ago, the team, code named 'Boggle', began to notice some extremely interesting patterns in Munk's FAN590 articles.  Certain words being being wrongly spelled, but not in every situation.  Some articles contained a very specific word count that added up to numbers which could be used as a cipher for cracking the code of future articles.
 
The 'Boggle' team had just finished developing a perpetual motion machine, when they were tasked with cracking the Munk-code.  The IBM supermachine, Watson, commented on its own particular involvement in the project.
 
'After destroying Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter at Jeopardy my life felt so hollow.  I needed a new challenge.  Cracking the Munk-code seemed like the perfect opportunity for me, and I was robo-glad to join the team.  There are few humans who speak robot like Munk.  I felt a kinship with that particular flesh-beast.'
 
Specifics regarding the Munk-code are expected to be released sometime within the next few weeks and the implications of what is hidden in the Articles has been said to be earth-shattering.

Pretty sure if things were replied to like:
 
"Interesting idea, and we've considered this in the past, but it has some challenges that we would need to work out."
 
instead of
 
"You're a fucking moron and this idea makes us all stupider."
 
You might get less people annoyed.

There are also problems with an Oligarchy.

Not complaining by the way.  Right now I don't have time for a job I don't think, so I'll just chug along with my 7 TPE and I'm pretty happy with that.

Not complaining by the way.  Right now I don't have time for a job I don't think, so I'll just chug along with my 7 TPE and I'm pretty happy with that.

I turned on my emotion chip just so I could feel hate for all of you.

I turned on my emotion chip just so I could feel hate for all of you.

I cheer for the Oilers.  It's been possibly the worst team in NHL history over the stretch.  They can all go to hell.

I cheer for the Oilers.  It's been possibly the worst team in NHL history over the stretch.  They can all go to hell.

I cheer for the Oilers.  It's been possibly the worst team in NHL history over the stretch.  They can all go to hell.

We need to open up a trading card store to spend extra cash on!