Jericho

Kesler from 5 years ago, is that you?

Edition 199 - Pulling it out of my ass because the season is over edition!
 
Well with no regular season or playoff games left we find ourselves into the offseason. While this is a super cup season, a lack of stats has prevented me from doing my usual hard research, so we'll be doing something different this week. In the final edition before the colossal edition 200 we'll base this off of member performance (completely in my own unbiased opinion of journalistic integrity.
 
Up - Kesler17
 
This one might have caused a few spit takes among the readers, but I have to give our baby boy his props. Kesler (I refuse to turn my keyboard to frenchy mode to write his new name) started out as one of the most immature and obnoxious children in league history. His grammar was atrocious, his conveyance was poor and every post was made in an attempt to look cool over the internet. Over the last few months Kesler has shown immense growth. He realized that it's impossible to look cool over the internet and started using auto correct (a little). Kesler has gone from being a thorn in the league's ass to a contributing and valued member of the league. I've heard that before my time Kyle and Damien were both similar tosspots in their youth. With the league being 7 years old it's easy to forget that we've all grown into much more evolved people than we once were. When I joined the league in season 22 I was a jaded dickhead dealing with a parental divorce who looked for every fight he could. I've come a long way since then and it's easy to forget that people like Kesler haven't had the chance to do that right when they join. The story of Kesler will remind me not to be so quick to judge our youth. Though I won't let everything slide, I'll remember that they're children and don't know any better.*
 
Down - Muffins
 
Oh how I wish this weren't the case. I was able to skip the whole child-Damien "woah is me" era that spawned "FISTED ANNALY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY". I got to know him as the "Guys I'm really awkward and asking a girl to prom is hard" era where he was like the little brother we bring with us to Street hockey to play goalie era. Damien was a kid, but he was our kid and we had some great times with him. Topping the list includes the formation of Rogue Squadron, one of the greatest events in league history (suck a dick Sterling), the creation of the VHL Slowpoke meme thread and about 1000 half finished projects he made. Then one day Damien went to college where he made a bunch of friends, grew a hobo beard and stopped coming around skype as much. During this time he also faded from his league commitment and became a casual member at best. The same man who brough us Hallf of Famer Tukka Reikkinen then proceeded to produce GIYGAS, and deprive us all of our much needed Polish presence. I miss you Damien, return to us soon!
 
Up - Duckberg
 
Some of you may remember him as the football league guy who makes 40 TPE players with hilarious names like Darkwing Duck before bailing. Well he's returned to us again, albeit under a name so stupid I doubt Kesler would come up with it) and he's giving the VHL an actual shot. Duckberg has taken up the post I've started to grow out of as league troll and he's doing it in a much more tasteful way than I ever did. I think he's really in it for the long haul this time, as we've seen a much more prominent skype and forum presence and he's connected to the VHL in a third part fashion through League of Legends (even though he's a Bronze scrublet). Duckberg is a really chill guy and I'm hoping he's able to maintain his current commentment. He's already the best player in his draft outside of recreates and he may be able to make another Ethan Osbourne if we're lucky.
 
*Kesler will always be trolled though, it's the way of the world.

I HAVE BEEN REBORN!
 
Gorlab has made me see the light, apparently you aren't a man if you don't spend weekends getting into bar fights and brofisting guys in tank tops. I always thought that being a decent human being and building a sharper mind mattered more, but I was taught the error of my ways, and how everyone with my point of you needs to be rounded up and shot!
 
BRB, gonna go pump serious iron until I can become less of a 'lightwork' (seriously is that a West coast thing, or a moron thing? We don't say that here.)

i don't think doing pointtasks should make you immune to stuff. He got personal with me too, but he didn't know enough to hit a nerve.
 
He's not worth the trouble he brings. One active member at the cost of reducing the joy brought to lots of quality members is an obvious choice. Opportunity cost says dump him and so do I.
 
I recall David banning Meg when she was harassing the fuck out of him, this guy's doing it to lots of people. Ban his ass.

YEAH! Supercup and shit!
 
Street let's have an impressive run which will ultimately lead to a finals loss!

This is going to be weird, but I have a friend named Graper. Actual name, not nickname.

I HAVE BEEN REBORN!
 
Gorlab has made me see the light, apparently you aren't a man if you don't spend weekends getting into bar fights and brofisting guys in tank tops. I always thought that being a decent human being and building a sharper mind mattered more, but I was taught the error of my ways, and how everyone with my point of you needs to be rounded up and shot!
 
BRB, gonna go pump serious iron until I can become less of a 'lightwork' (seriously is that a West coast thing, or a moron thing? We don't say that here.)

I HAVE BEEN REBORN!
 
Gorlab has made me see the light, apparently you aren't a man if you don't spend weekends getting into bar fights and brofisting guys in tank tops. I always thought that being a decent human being and building a sharper mind mattered more, but I was taught the error of my ways, and how everyone with my point of you needs to be rounded up and shot!
 
BRB, gonna go pump serious iron until I can become less of a 'lightwork' (seriously is that a West coast thing, or a moron thing? We don't say that here.)

I HAVE BEEN REBORN!
 
Gorlab has made me see the light, apparently you aren't a man if you don't spend weekends getting into bar fights and brofisting guys in tank tops. I always thought that being a decent human being and building a sharper mind mattered more, but I was taught the error of my ways, and how everyone with my point of you needs to be rounded up and shot!
 
BRB, gonna go pump serious iron until I can become less of a 'lightwork' (seriously is that a West coast thing, or a moron thing? We don't say that here.)

Oh that's right.
 
STZ happy father's day man! The first one!

Bourque, but yeah that's the general sentiment around here.
 
Basically our city is on lockdown. They had established a "Red Zone" they believe the suspect to be in which included Tyler's place, my work and my mom's place. Nobody is allowed in or out of the Red Zone. My apartment is on the other side of town so I've been safe for the most part and settled in after taking care of notifying anyone I knew (which I'm glad I did since mom was out walking the Red Zone when this all started).
 
Police searched all night (including my dad) and when day broke all local officers were sent home with pay for two weeks. 250 officers from around the country have been flown in to fill the vacancies.
 
I spent all last night at my apartment (with Tyler's brother and a friend of his, since they were downtown when this started and can't enter the Red Zone to go home). We've since moved from my cramped apartment with no food to my dad's place that was nearby and are holed up here.
 
Basically as of now there have been 5 officers shot (3 of which are dead) and the police have lost track of the shooter. His identity has been confirmed and the police are searching the city for him. Until then I'm staying at my dad's place with my sister and tag alongs (Dad left the city, he was close with the deceased and is pretty fucked up).

Fuck Phil his debauchery of the English language!
 
Fucking scouser!

yea victor is quite the bitch.
 
 
 
 
 
I'm setting up a tpe trust fund for you. For every 5 likes I get I will donate 1 tpe to you out of my good will.

That wasn't short.

The only place left in Calgary to get scotch was at the mall. What would Devise do?

The fact is, you can't argue that he contributes enough to make the trouble he brings worth it. In his time in the league he's contributed 3 mediocre players and a shitty mag article that Sterling and Victor have done much better with. That doesn't outweigh making Boom, Kendrick and Advantage feel shitty (all guys who work really hard here). I'm pretty sure he's also the reason that Janelle left way back isn't he? (Before my time, but that's an entire member who he got rid of). So we've got 3 awesome people not enjoying the league as much as they can, and a person already gone for the price of mediocre players and a bad article. Opportunity cost doesn't show much of a reason to keep him here.

The fact is, you can't argue that he contributes enough to make the trouble he brings worth it. In his time in the league he's contributed 3 mediocre players and a shitty mag article that Sterling and Victor have done much better with. That doesn't outweigh making Boom, Kendrick and Advantage feel shitty (all guys who work really hard here). I'm pretty sure he's also the reason that Janelle left way back isn't he? (Before my time, but that's an entire member who he got rid of). So we've got 3 awesome people not enjoying the league as much as they can, and a person already gone for the price of mediocre players and a bad article. Opportunity cost doesn't show much of a reason to keep him here.

The only place left in Calgary to get scotch was at the mall. What would Devise do?

If he attacks members without a valid reason, I don't see why we would keep him around. Remove the filth and create a better enviroment for new people to be recruited in.

We also know they won't have malicious intentions, given that Advantage is one of the guys running it.

Chris you usually don't like pussy.

There's a significant difference between the stuff Kesler and I got into and this though. There was an air of jest with us, it was more banter than genuine hate. Trifecta genuinely attacks people with malicious intent. Now it is the Thunderdome, but there have to be lines. Attacking an avatar is different than attacking the person. I can take shots at Kendrick for being the worst GM in league history for example, as that's a shot at his avatar but if I go into calling him a crooked cop who sells the evidence locker cocaine to minors there's a bit of a difference.
 
Taking a shot at Chris's weight is too far, dude needs to step off. I'm sure it's also annoying for Jardy to get harrassed by someone because they're too stupid to add an hour.

http://www38.zippyshare.com/v/3667547/file.html
 
PaGropuies unite the next edition is here. We talk some league news, give our game of the weeks and our Laichs and Dislikes for players. We do halfway award predictions and awkwardly go through some of last weeks PajodTask. We also set a PajodTask for next week and do the new and improved outro. All in all a weird one. So strap on your tinfoil and watch out for UFO's because it can only get strange!

In honour of your overlord's (that's me) birthday, everyone who likes this post gets 1 TPE.
#teepz #lovevictator #tpeinflation
 
Edit: for anyone still here, check the date. This is a decade old and is no longer valid, please don’t try.

Black Jesus