STZ

VHL Magazine gonna put my kid through college tbh

FUCK YOU RACIST SLUT WHORES

Your modesty is my favorite characteristic about you.

Phil is a fucking machine.. posts a hatty.

Wholly Fuck, the new lines were nice to the Knight bros lmao.

Great read Mike!

List:
 
1. Noah
2. CrimsonHunter

Gonna be fun to see Vasty back in playoffs! Good work, Corco..

The Season 37 Draft: New Over Old
 
The season 37 draft, so far, seems to be the first draft in quite some time where the new players could make a greater total impact than the recreates. Obviously the two top recreates, Tom Slaughter and Slaeter Fjorsstrom, will be great players in their own right and certainly hold up their end of the bargain. The biggest question for the recreates’ side is where the rest of them will fall. There are some players who straddle the line between recreate and first-gen: Kimmo Salo, Penis Anthony Doubligne, Lars Strummer, and Marcus Bjorkstrand. Of these, the only one going the traditional recreate route is Lars Strummer, using carryover. Kimmo Salo, Penis Anthony Doubligne, and Marcus Bjorkstrand can be considered first-gens for the sake of argument, as all are going with the doubled point tasks. However, there are plenty of true first-gens in this class that can hold their own.
 
LW Kai Randal:

 
Kai Randal is a first-gen left wing, with a previously unknown agent (Runny Nose) who is making a thus-far impressive foray into the VHL. A passing-first left wing, Randal has a decent skating ability and can handle the puck fairly well. He’s early on in development, but has the potential to become one of the stars of the draft class. Much ado has been made about Randal's baldness, but it shouldn't affect his play. He is already learning under some of the best, as high-profile prospect Tom Slaughter leads a stacked offensive team in Bratislava, giving Randal plenty of guys to learn from.
 
C Konstantin Jaroslav Azhishchenkov:

 
Azhishchenkov is a bit of an unusual player, as a scoring-first center. While not as common, this isn’t unheard of, taking for example the NHL’s Evgeni Malkin. While scoring is Azhishchenkov’s most developed attribute, he’s slightly developed his passing, skating, strength, and faceoffs. Playing for the Ottawa Lynx, Azhishchenkov doesn’t have many good teammates to learn from, but he is learning one valuable skill nonetheless, and that is the ability to lead a team. He’s the highest profile guy on Ottawa, and if he is drafted early, his VHL team might not be much different.
 
G Blaine Olynick:

 
Starting goaltender for the successful Bern Royals, Olynick’s on ice play is arguably one of the best in the class. While it’s possible that his on ice play is better than his current skill would suggest he should be, Olynick nonetheless steps into the league at an ideal time. With Skylar Rift, Tuomas Tukio, and Remy LeBeau nearing retirement, Olynick (and the aforementioned Kimmo Salo) will join a team that doesn’t immediately need him, giving him a season or two to learn under one of the league’s best before stepping in and taking his own shot at future stardom. Bern is one of the best teams in the VHLM right now, so Olynick should get a chance to prove playoff-worthy in addition to his regular play.
 
D Ron World Peace:

 
One of Olynick’s teammates on Bern, Peace is a defensive defenseman with strong checking and skating to supplement his defensive prowess. While it’s likely he will develop an offensive side to his game as well, Peace’s defensive skill is going to be very valuable at the VHL level, where he looks to be in the mold of a James Lefevre, or potentially a Lars Intranquilo (for his sake, we hope not the latter). Defensemen are rarer than forwards and are always highly valued in the VHL, and active ones like Peace are even more highly prized.
 
Stay tuned for part two of the preview of some of this draft’s promising first-gens!
 
 
(NOTE: This is Doubles, due to my donation. I still have one additional Doubles.)

Just finishing my Brovy article now.  Will be up before 11.

We seem to be clicking now.  
 
5 points for me in the last sim, (2G, 3A)

Original Post above. This tracker is no longer being accepted. 

Edgar and Greg to return to the podcast world? Sounds like it. Rumors have it that the two will start doing a weekly show starting with a show tomorrow night. The two haven’t been together on the air since they did their last episode of Between the Pipes over a year ago. Like last time these two did a podcast Greg is the GM of the Seattle Bears but something that is different and could make for a good podcast is that Edgar is now the GM of the Toronto Legion. We all remember the rivalry that Greg and the Bears had with the Legion 15 seasons ago so having two rival GMs on the same podcast should make for some great episodes as the two battle for positions in the standing through this season and seasons down the road. The two will join a small group that do podcast in the VHL but will have to compete with the long lasting Rift Pajodcast  but shouldn't be a problem cause their podcast won’t be 3 hours long.

Monsters On My Side


"Kai Randal, Bratislava Watchmen's Winger, walking into a match against the Oslo Storm"

Yup you guessed it, this will be another boring interview article. While it's true that this type of article is the least interesting out of other types, it's still useful in a way as it helps the readers who stumbled upon it get to know the person being interviewed better. For that sole reason, we decided to schedule an interview with the Bratislava Watchmen's new draftee, Kai Randal, who barely get any attention.

This eighteen years old winger was drafted 12th overall in the draft and will be playing for the Bratislava Watchmen. Rumor has it that the Watchmen's general manager, Vince Wong, is an acquaintance of Randal and consider him as a promising player. However, truth be told, his current ability and potential suggested the opposite. Anyhow, only time will tell and for now let's take a look at Randal's answers to our questions.

Interviewer: "Considering that you was raised in Japan, we're assuming you know this. If a cuckoo does not sing, you will?"
Randal: "Oh, I definitely know that. If a cuckoo does not sing, leave it alone."

For all those who have not heard of this saying before, "If a cuckoo does not sing" is technically a poem used to describe the three leaders of Japan during the Sengoku period. It's famous for being able to describe a person's personality as in, how they will react to a certain problem. In Randal's answer, he's suggesting that he's the type of guy who would leave his issues unsolved by escaping from it. One other possibility is that he's too lazy and couldn't be bothered by it. Well that explained his personality a lot and we like how he stay true to it.

Interviewer: "Interesting. What do you think of your role in this team? And do you think you guys will be able to win it all?"
Randal: "Honestly, it's hard to tell my role here. You guys may or may not know this but under my observation, these comrades of mine are downright monsters, period. I don't know if I can be considered a monster yet, so I'm probably the role player on this team. It's good to be friends with the monsters. The cool thing is that our manager, Wong-san*, is a a really great manager. I guess you can say he's [Vince Wong] our employer and we're Watchmen and Watchmen will get their job done no matter what. Nothing will stand against our will....well technically not our since a few of us sucks (like me)."

*San: A Japanese horrific meaning "Mister". In this case it's like he's saying "Mister Wong"


"Kai Randal during the VHLM Draft Night"

Interviewer: "One of your teammates, Tom Slaughter, is the same type of player as you are with similar skills just that he's a better player than you are. With things as it is now, you might not score a starting position. What do you think?"
Randal: "Hah, Slaughter is a bona fide stud, no doubt about it. And what you said also make sense. A lot. Sorry to disappoint but nah. It's not like being a backup is that much of a big deal anyways. The most important thing is that I want to carry on with my style of hockey. The moment I give up that idea is the moment of my downfall and I won't find hockey fun anymore. I also want my name to be remembered and just being great or being able to start aren't gonna make the cut. Like, you're good and is a starter but so what? You're not the best. Instead I want to be remembered as a specific player like whenever they think of the best passing winger, they'll think of me. Something like that."

Interviewer: "Anyone you look up to so far? Any rival?"
Randal: " Err...well, I guess the Odin guy in VHL. I admire him. He's a winger, just like me and his game is something of a beauty while I always love. He seems to also enjoy hockey a lot which is also great. I don't think I have any rival though considering that it's a pain to compete against other for accolades or something like that. I'm a guy who would ignore his problem so something like competing isn't my cup of tea.


"Randal handling the puck during a game"

And that's about it for this Week's interview. Be sure to tune in next week for more interviews of this sort. Send us some suggestions of who should be interviewed next if you may, or even the questions itself. With all said and done, thank you for reading all the way through and well I know this sound cliche but have a good day! Or is it not?

Okay so good news - we are beasting.
 
More good news - New client file with VHLM updates are available!

statistiception

Throwing more free TPE at new players is not the answer to activity. Activity will be partly to do with how people are treated and helped along and partly to do with desire to be hear and how fun the people find it. You aren't going to find a majic formula to keep every person who comes so don't try to. The rules and such just put in place were enough for now, how about we sit back and see how that does before doing stupid shit.

This is super impressive. You guys are good.

It's the actual TML Winter Classics..

The template is the Dallas Stars sweaters.
 
This is v2.
 
I plan to have more fun later and change it more.. Also might make alternates.. Take a look and please send me suggestions! Thanks!
 
Home Sweater: 
 
Away Sweater:
 

I shall be as well. I want to mention something about the VHLM discussions and we'll see if the site blows up in the next five days with something news worthy.

JUST IN: Bratislava Cuts Fjorsskin

Revisiting the Season 33 Bratislava Watchmen

 
BRATISLAVA - With a perfect 8-0 start, championship visions are immediately thought of for the Bratislava Watchmen of the VHLM. Led by Vincenzo Valentini's 19 points and the supurb goaltending of Martin Brookside, the Watchmen are a powerful force to be reckoned with. But in the greater scheme of things, many of these young men seem destined to future success in the Victory Hockey League. What better time to look back at the Season 33 Bratislava Watchmen, winners of the Founder's Cup?
 
Niklas Lindberg
 

 
Niklas Lindberg's tantalizing story began in Season 32, when he was the taken in the 3rd Round of the Dispersal Draft by Bratislava. He had all of a single TPE back then, just one more than the likes of infamous inactives Dwayne Chocolate and Ugot Change. However, Lindberg blossomed into a quality player for the Watchmen. The Toronto Legion took notice and drafted him in the 2nd Round, 12th overall, but he would spend one more season in Bratislava, being among the Watchmen's most consistent scorers along the way to the Founder's Cup and winning not only the Esposito Trophy, but the Season 33 Watchman of the Year Award. After winning the Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy with 72 points in Season 34, he posted over 100 points in Season 35 and is tied for the lead in points on Toronto with 13 in just eight games played. Niklas Lindberg could very well go on to become one of the all-time greats in Toronto's history.
 
Doug Clifford
 

 
In Season 33, Doug Clifford's story began when he was selected with the third overall pick and proceeded to make the most of his one year with the Watchmen, racking up a preposterous amount of points and TPE on his way to being selected with the first overall pick in the Season 34 Draft by the Quebec City Meute. Clifford has not been quite the star many perceived, but he has been a powerful presence on the resurgent Meute, scoring 92 points last season on the way to a Continental Cup victory. He has nine points in eight games for Quebec City so far this season.
 
Eggly Bagelface
 

 
The net-minder for the Watchmen's championship run was selected first overall by Bratislava in the Season 33 Dispersal Draft, a feat he was unable to repeat due to being placed onto Vasteras due to some weird reason. Having a top goaltender like Bagelface was a major factor in the Watchmen's success, but the VHL has not been as kind to him. The only rookie goalie in Season 34, Bagelface's first year was difficult and the fact that he's stuck in Vasteras have made times tough on the young goalie. With a save percentage nearing .930 and four wins with a shutout, Season 36 may very well be the breakout year he has been patiently waiting for.
 
Willem Janssen
 

 
Also selected in the Season 33 Dispersal Draft, Willem Janssen went one pick after Doug Clifford in the fourth overall spot. Janssen would combine with Lindberg and Clifford to form the dangerous first line in Bratislava, resulting in many long nights for VHL goalies. Janssen was drafted in Season 34 by the Vasteras Iron Eagles with the second overall pick and has since suffered from a mysterious condition known only as "being on Vasteras." However, the Iron Eagles have finally shown signs of life this season and Janssen has been at the forefront of the pack, tied for third on the team with six points.
 
Thomas Landry
 

 
The Bratislava career of Thomas Landry began when he was selected with the seventh overall pick of the Season 33 Dispersal Draft. An afterthought to many teams due to spotty activity, he blossomed with the Watchmen, becoming a pleasant surprise on the second line. He was drafted the same year by the New York Americans with the 16th overall pick, spending one season with them before being traded to the HC Davos Dynamo. He served as the captain for the United States' gold medal team in Season 34, a role he now holds with Davos. Landry currently has tallied seven points this season and is just one hit behind the VHL lead with 41.
 
Davey Jones
 

 
Taken with the 13th overall pick in the Season 33 VHLM Dispersal Draft, many wondered what sort of impact the 0 TPE center would have. After a successful first season on Davos' second line that kicked off his career with a championship win, the young center exploded. Selected by the Cologne Express with the fourth overall selection in Season 34, Jones spent one more season in the VHLM before winning the Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy in Season 35 after racking up 86 points. Traded to the HC Davos Dynamo before Season 36, he is tied for his new team in points with 13 points after eight games.
 
Chris Bourque
 

 
Unlike the other Watchmen so far, Chris Bourque never made it to the VHL. Despite being a force to be reckoned with in the minors, including winning the Oates Trophy. Drafted 11th overall in the Season 31 Dispersal Draft by Brampton, Bourque made his way to the Watchmen through a trade and gave Bratislava a defensive boost that proved invaluable. After hoisting the Founder's Cup, Bourque hung up his skates for the last time, leaving the league to eventually become a peddler of syrup.
 
Mario Corvia
 

 
The Watchman who never left his post, Corvia remains a member of Bratislava to this very day. Selected in the first round of the Season 33 Dispersal Draft, Corvia was an integral part of the team's second line with Thomas Landry and Davey Jones. However, he never made the leap from minor league superstar to a professional player... not that the Watchmen have really suffered for it, based on monster seasons he's had.
 
Nick Becker
 

 
A waiver pickup, Becker made the team to help address the team's only weakness in defensive depth. He stopped coming to practice after logging eight TPE, but still coasted along with the team to the Founder's Cup. He lives on through the Oslo Storm, playing under the guidance of former Bratislava member Thomas Landry.
 
Haggard Slobban
 

 
In Season 30, Saskatoon drafted a young defenseman by the name of Haggard Slobban. In some way, shape or form, he wound up in Bratislava. There he has remained, waiting... for another championship. Now... three seasons later... does he have that opportunity once again?
 
Vincent Wong
 

I was too afraid to image search this.
 
The crazed genius behind it all, Vincent Wong has the opportunity to build to his legacy in Bratislava with another Founder's Cup Championship. Not bad for an expansion team, perhaps Cologne could take some pointers.
 
Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, waxers of nostalgia extraordinaire. He enjoys infiltrating locations with Solid Snake, giving toxic gummy bears to orphans and making newspapers disappear.

Yes I am and will be posting a new ad to replace the Bears one used.

Why a separate VHLM sim absolutely makes sense.