frescoelmo

2 hours ago, Victor said:

Please list out all time zones, it is unreasonable for us to convert the time ourselves.

This league runs on American time bruh  

needs more conditional 4ths

finally something I can attempt to pronounce

17 hours ago, Frank said:

 

this gif hits differently this morning 

Hello

Just remember for a brief period I WAS a commissioner in a previous life for a different sim league, and that league failed miserably once I was granted ultimate power, so for everyone's sake let's hope this does not happen.

1). Add injuries to the sim - look at all of these BOTS just riding pine and watching their fellow teammates get 25-30 minutes per game. B-DAV D5 is pissed.  Add injuries and fatigue to the game so it is actually realistic.  Right now every player in the VHL is an ironman apparently and are all descendants of CLARK KENT.

2). Bring back forum chat - this has gone on FAR too long.  I have very little use for the forum outside of the 30 seconds it takes me to update weekly (kekw emoji) and making sure people aren't creating MULTIS.

3). Remove welfare/pension - at this point we might as well give every member TWO WEEKS paid vacation.  Christ.  We need to roll back to the times where members were rewarded for EFFORT and not spamming discord.

4). Bring back grading - one thing I learned as a younger VHLer is that you all SUCK at writing.  I also suck at graphics.  BUT.  This was a great way to give members (particularly newer ones) responsibilities and some added TEEP.  Unfortunately we don't have AGM roles for everyone.

5). Bring back meme mutes - it was much easier to moderate when you could just tell someone to shut the fuck up, without actually telling them to shut the fuck up.  Respect to the OG @Quik, who is probably in Albania at the moment.

6). Ban relocating franchises - every goddamn general manager wants their team to be THEIRS.  Which apparently means you have to move the franchise that was handed to you to some broke ass 'hockey town' in a place no one cares about.  /oldmanrant

7). Add promotion/relegation - this will get a lot of 'omg too much work' responses.  But I am the commissioner.  Reward managers who actually try and give them a shot at managing in a better league, while demoting the ones who consistently struggle.

8). League-wide one job enforcement - I will hire someone to make sure that members are only allowed one job.

9). Lower media spot word minimum - I am running out of things I would do as a commissioner and this would be a good time to end the article.

10).  Bring back VHL SUMMIT - this only kind of happened once (twice?) but I propose a public hangout/meeting in a non-Ohio city to do non-VHL things (must be 21 to enter).  This happened with me and fong last year and it was very fun.  We basically just ate at every Chinese restaurant in Chicago.

11). Remove myself as commissioner - now that the VHL/VHLE/VHLM is in a full-blown tailspin, I will step down as the leader of the league for someone honestly a lot more suitable... 

TUNE INTO OUR NEXT EPISODE WHEN I JOIN THE BOG FOR A DAY.

So this is how Fong chose to doxx himself 

14 minutes ago, Doomsday said:

 

It doesn’t? If the VHL team wants the player, they get the player. If a player is staying in the E, it's because they didn't earn enough to top 400 and/or the parent club is not choosing to call them up. The VHLE cannot actively prevent a player from moving up. 

Right but there are instances when players are close to, but do not meet the threshold, however they will be way above it by season's end.

5 hours ago, BOOM said:

Imagine not retiring after your 1st regression!

That is nine seasons for trifecta

20 minutes ago, Spartan said:

Also that your title had minimal relation to your content smh.

Late to the game, none of my titles do

Goal achieved...  distracting Spartan

For record, this is purely speculative and my own opinion, with having no foresight or insight as to any future plans the league has.

Does It make Sense To Play For Nine Seasons?

At the time of this writing, the VHL Portal show the following free agents available (listed by the season they were created by their player-agent, which at this point I would consider a veteran):

Season 85           1

Season 84           4

Season 83           6

Season 82           10

Season 81            13

That amounts to 34 players currently available to be signed by any of the 16 VHL franchises, all of which are above the VHLE threshold and thus required to play in the VHL (all of them have over 400 TPE, and six of them have over 600 TPE).  A few different ways to split this pie; there are enough free agents available for every VHL franchise to pick up two of them (and have some left over).  Additionally, in the average draft class this would amount to just over two rounds of players, which is about as long as general managers are willing to stay interested anyways (why do we have 4^th round picks again?).

At the same time of this writing, out of the 34 players above that are available, 3 of them have a single offer from a VHL team: Nic McMuffin (CHI), Freddy Freeze (CHI), and Hasbulla Magomedov (MAL).  Only one other player (Season 89’s Magnus Carlsen) has any offers from VHL teams, albeit carrying a paltry 86 TPE.  With teams seemingly exhausted with their salary cap availability prior to free agency even opening, only 27 players were picked up (Zaza Colors was removed as he is again available).

This seems like a lot of useless number crunching to appease Spartan, but a few issues stick out…  Namely, teams don’t have enough money to sign players, and teams are being “pushed” (encouraged) to sign actives over players with more TPE to allocate.  If we are moving forward with the idea, or rather purpose, of prioritizing member activity and retention (ie., getting actives on rosters over having better players that may or may not be active) over strictly assembling the best roster, does it make sense to play for nine seasons?

To start, I can only imagine very few reasons that you would stick around.  Most of the reasons are closely related to player accolades.  If you have enough TPE to fight off the inevitable depreciation, that is another reason to stick around.  Or… I guess you are just lazy and want to stick it out for the duration of your time because you don’t want to start from scratch (I probably fall into this category).  But as general managers have found, eventually aging veterans serve better as trade fodder to re-tool and get younger…  if you’re lucky to find a naïve individual willing to do so.

Using Season 88 as a reference, four teams (at this time I counted Calgary, New York, DC and Los Angeles) have less than four defensemen (3) on their roster.  Using the portal as it currently stands (for Season 89) for a similar reference, the following teams have less than the 6 and 4 players rostered, for forwards and defensemen (respectively):

Chicago (1 forward, 1 defenseman; $14,250,000 available)

Helsinki (1 defenseman $5,000,000 available)

London (1 defenseman; $1,500,000 available)

Moscow (1 defenseman; -$2,000,000 available)

New York (1 forward, 1 defenseman; $8,750,000 available)

Riga (2 defensemen; $0 available)

Seattle (1 defenseman; -$2,000,000 available)

Vancouver (1 defenseman; $0 available)

Warsaw (1 forward; $4,750,000 available)

You can look at this in a few different ways.  To begin, I am assuming 6 forwards and 4 defensemen is the model for a VHL roster; meaning there are 12 rostered spots available for what I believe are 34 acceptable players.  However, the financial implications of the salary cap will ultimately allow what I would predict is in the range of 4-6 players that will ultimately be able to sign with VHL franchises (this somewhat resonates previously noting that only three ‘qualified’ players have offers currently).

Is the new ‘meta’ to carry a lesser roster of 6 forward and 3 defensemen to avoid having to spend money on poorly built veterans or bad young players, while maintaining a competitive team?  Is this somewhat dictated by the VHLE holding players back from their parent rosters?  This direction, although with minimal research, seems to be picking up steam.  At the same time last season (88), four teams had three defensemen.  This season (89) it could be as many as eight teams, which is half of the league.  What is the main reason behind this; lack of cap space, player availability, teams realizing they do not need as many defensemen, or something we haven't even discussed?

To me it seems that we are quickly approaching a crossroads.  If you are not a ‘maximum earner’, the odds of you staying rostered on a VHL team seems like it could become more and more difficult for you in the coming seasons as you enter your veteran (depreciating) seasons.  This is loosely highlighted by the fact that there are now more ways than ever to get your twelve TPE per week.  Particularly if you are a defenseman.  Honestly, it seems like your best odds of hanging around in the VHL if you are not a maximum earner is as a backup goalie, because your player exemption allows teams to carry you instead of an AI backup.  Even if you are a maximum earner, there is the very realistic possibility of the only teams being able to roster you in your 8^th and 9^th seasons being non-contenders, or ones that can absorb your obnoxious contract.

It's a weird time to have a player in the VHL.  Teams are shrinking their rosters, no one wants your old, crappy player, and the league wants your team to sign a lesser player over you.  How long will your player stick around?

Thank you @thadthrasher you have been great to work with.

Best of luck to all of the applicants!

I also applied.

@JardyB10will be upset. Where will he go?

This is like declining to interview for a job and then getting upset when they offer someone else

17 minutes ago, v.2 said:

come to team 4!

Is that team's GM a good guy?

Free Agency Sneak Park - Rumors on Malum Maellard - pt. 2

As the free agency signing period started merely hours ago, Malum has been enjoying the process for the first time in his career.  After four seasons of experience, the veteran blueliner is excited to see how the next few years play out with his new team.  As it stands now, he will not sign before June 9th.  Whose jersey will he put on in Season 89?

Team #1 - I am not sure what they are trying to achieve in Season 89.  Compete?  Rebuild?  There doesn't seem to be any room here for Malum, as the current roster stands.

Team #2 - They fell significantly from the top of their division last season after a great first half.  Made some quietly solid moves in the off-season.  Could be a good landing spot.

Team #3 - Will they ever compete?  Would be fun to finish my career there.  Lot of young talent.

Team #4 - the GM is a good guy, but they are probably a year or two away from competing in my opinion.  

Team #5 - Darkhorse team that I did not expect.  Would be a great addition.  Their roster is veteran-heavy; feels like there will be some attrition in another season or two.

Team #6 - Seems like they will be competitive in 89, but a massive drop off after.  A lot of cap space in Season 90.  Definitely need some more forwards.

Team #7 - Another darkhorse team.  Would be a lot of fun, I don't think I've played with anyone on that roster.  Another veteran-heavy team.

Career Reflection – Malum Maellard

How It Started

Maellard, drafted 10^th overall, was excited about the ability to become a foundational piece to a New York roster that was in… well let’s just say turmoil.  The manager at the time, manager mexicancow, had picked up some talented veterans and was hoping to turn things around in short order.  This did not pan out.  Cow left his managerial position in the middle of season 84, leaving Maellard’s player agent (frescoelmo) with the reigns to take over what had quickly become a pretty marginal roster.  Yet still, the team had just missed the playoffs one year into elmo’s tenure as manager, the first year Maellard had been on the roster.  Malum played with fellow veterans Eightnine and Peepants, and posted a respectable 42 points in his rookie campaign.  Far too many penalties though, as he was still acclimating to the speed of the professional league.

Season 86 held similar promise, as Maellard and the Americans were off to a hot start with a revamped roster and the newly acquired manager Thad, who traded for his own forward.  New York, tied for 5^th in North America with Seattle, missed out on the playoffs due to a head-to-head technicality, despite both teams finishing with 70 points.  Malum rebounded with similar statistics, albeit with far less penalty minutes.  This was a promising campaign for the blueliner, as he was playing more minutes and it had shown.

I big move before the start of Season 87 left the Americans’ roster with some more ammunition, picking up Leduc and promoting Babay Shrimp to the big leagues.  Yet…  ANOTHER missed opportunity as the first team out of the cup race in North America.  This was statistically Maellard’s best season in the majors to that point, with 51 points, his most hits and fewest penalty minutes in a full year.

How It’s Going

The most recent season (88) was Maellard’s last contract year with New York.  What felt like another season on repeat, upper management in New York promised to offer Malum and his fellow forward (Detroit) the option to try their hand elsewhere at the trade deadline given New York’s prospects for a postseason appearance were waning.  Having both been moved to, which was at the time in second place in Europe, a much-improved Helsinki Titan roster, Malum was excited about taking his talents to the playoffs. WELL, that did not happen, as 7-12-1 in the final twenty games to miss the playoffs entirely.  This was a particularly difficult stretch of games for Malum, who seemed to have been really pissed off about something off the ice and took it out on fellow forwards to the tune of 38 PIM in 20 games.

Where It’s Going

In what will be his fifth full season in the VHL this upcoming year, Malum expressed his interests to dabble in free agency for the first time in his career.  A player who is more pure defenseman than anything else, has yet to see the postseason.  With the ability to change the direction of his career trajectory entirely, it will be interesting to see where Malum ends up making his next home.

7 hours ago, N0HBDY said:

Oh and Boris Tsaesar @comrade cat

This actually made me lol irl. +1

@leandrofg

SUS

I thought @leandrofg and @Lemorse7 were the same person

With pending free agency, veteran Malum Maellard and his representative frescoelmo are excited to test the open market waters for the first time in the defenseman's career.  As Malum stated simply, "we have been looking forward to this for awhile now.  It's a little bittersweet to be honest; you'd like to see success wherever you land in the VHL Entry Draft, however it just didn't seem to work out."  As is with most players from the elmo group, they are more than willing to re-sign after the entry level contract ends.  Malum was traded in a blockbuster move just before the trade deadline with fellow teammate Vinny Detroit in hopes of springing Helsinki forward to new heights in the Season 88 playoffs.  It didn't happen.  "As a team, we were locked in from the day we ended up in Finland.  Hell, we flew the same plane.  It just didn't work out...  Europe is a different animal than North America," Maellard finished.  Points wise, the veteran defender saw his totals regress, albeit with a lesser roll on a better team and likely playing a more challenging schedule down the stretch.

With approximately four full seasons left to play (?), this is likely the blueliners last real opportunity to play meaningful minutes on a roster.  

1 hour ago, jhatty8 said:

 

Looks like someone's upset about not making my cool person list

Moon?  eh.