Stoffiday

New York City, New York-- In a dramatic turn of events, Joseph McWolf, Star defensemen for the New York Americans, was seen making backroom deals with Kronos Bailey of the Helsinki Titans! Through a series of completely invasive (and possibly illegal) tactics, we were able to piece together a transcript of that very conversation for publication in written medium, which this news anchor must warn all readers, is quite graphic. Here, in transcribed form, is that interaction: (K shall be used for Kronos, and M shall be used for McWolf after their inital mention.) Kronos: So, what can I do for you, Joe? This isn’t really how we usually me- Mcwolf: Quiet Bailey! I think we’re being watched...C’mere… (Loud thumping and banging.) K: Son of a...Why’d you hit me?! M: Sorry, my shot’s been off since that last encounter with Brick Wahl...He really gives you a beating with those poke checks, if you catch my drift. K: ….No...no I don’t….NEVERMIND! What do you even want Joe? M: I’m tired of those assholes in New York, they’re cramping my style...I’m sick of the traffic, and the “HOWYOUDOIN’!” and the pizza is just...who the hell folds their pizza? It’s unnatural! K: Are you on drugs? Am I like a giant dragon or a narwhal right now? -Gasp- Am I Keaton Louth?! It was at this point that it gets a little hard to hear...as this anchor forgot to change the batteries in his voice recorder...and is too cheap to use his cell phone data… K: I…think….pumpkin….spice…..Goalie prospect….On the team. M: I….want….spot….in….Helsinki….winter….sauna….me? Suddenly, my speakers picked up very clearly, almost as if they recharged… M: Rhett?! What the hell are you doing in this trash can?! Rhett: N...Nothing...I just… (Loud footsteps and huffing and puffing.) THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! Joseph McWolf hates pizza, and wants to leave the Big Apple for Helsinki! It’s also rumored that McWolf loves a good poke check. If this is to be believed, we can definitely expect some shake ups and breakups in the VHL next season!

Falls over, crab legs going everywhere. NOOOO!!

Grabs trophy, lifting it up above my head and holds it there. Then immediately sets it in front of Wahl. This is yours, now. Drops mic, and walks to the catered buffet.

I'm honored boss! It's my dream job!

Jasper Canmore.

I'm down!

I'd like to be considered. I've started as goalie for Yukon for two seasons and helped to lead us to the playoffs. I love Yukon and all that it is becoming. I'm also the brand exec for Jolt Juice.

2 please.

This is some fun hockey to watch.

I take responsibility for this loss.

I'm not gonna lie, this kinda hurts a bit.

Not really.

Lord, I'm not even distracted anymore, now you're just pissing me off!

It'd be more effective if you got my number right.... I don't wear 32.

Well, I'm mighty happy for ya'll. Many happy years!

WINS/5 48/5= 9.6 40 Games Started = 5 TPE (72 games started + 5) Save % 0.900+ = 5 TPE Shutouts = 3 TPE per SO (7x3= 21) Total = 39 TPE with Cap of 20.

I take full responsibility for this loss.

Now I ain't saying im not proud of you, I just... What'd we do, figure skate?

@Nykonax Take my damn jersey off and get off the ice, you duster!

+4 for Stoffiday.

Woah, that was an ass whuppin'.

+4 Stoffiday

Awww yea, win

Chris Stapleton- Tennessee Whiskey