K1NG LINUS

It was a bad scene in Malmo yesterday.
 
After hearing that the Vegas GM Matt Materazo had kicked him out of the Vegas Locker Room, things got heated. Literally.
 
"tis terrible! i pick'd yond weakling up with one handeth and crusheth his bones. It hath felt valorous" MORPHEUS told us. Apparently MORPHEUS speaks in shakespearean language as well. Materazo was hospitalized, and shared a room with fellow Malmo teammate Rusty Shackleford. Shackleford had been playing the Malmo signature game "Drink The Beer", when MORPHEUS gave him third degree burns by breathing on him. 
 
"Overall it's not a good look for us. We like to get wild in Malmo, but now people are getting hurt. Maybe we need to get a leash for MORPHEUS." Defenseman Jerry Garcia told us in an exclusive interview.
 
This is the second incident regarding MORPHEUS injuring players. General manager ADV isn't keen on trading him though. When asked why, he responded with, "Isn't it obvious?" That's all he had to say to us.
 
We will see how both Materazo and Shackleford recover from their injuries, as the season is set to start sometime this week.
 
 
@Abaddon
@K1NG LINUS
@GustavMattias
 

In the current setup of the league and stat numbers it hurts the sths engine. The engine was not supposed to have everyone at 99 overall or even close to it. All it does it turn a simulation engine into a random number generator. Which for league health isn't the best thing. If you think of it as an algorithm having everyone at equal footing does not actually make anyone different. So my player Beau Louth at 99 scoring and a dman at 99 scoring are 50/50 success to failure. In a simulation game that is not realistic at all. 
 
My argument would be have everything higher than 85 would cost 20+ TPE that way every player is different and the league operates how the engine was built. Defencive dmen would actually be defencive and snipping forwards would actually just be snipers instead of two way gods.
 
Another good thing about making the TPE whores better than the rest is they are usually the ones putting the most work in. Should they not be rewarded with slightly higher stats?
 
Anyways that's my breakdown or how the league is currently broken and I'll edit in the answer I got from the creator of the engine himself when I asked how 99 stats work in the engine.
 
Feel like @Devise after I typed this 

The problem with this is that, only the tpe whores will be able to get to those high stats. This might create an even larger gap between the whores and the normal players

Am I the only one to hard disagree here? The hard earning of TPE whores allows them to handle steep depreciation. But did you see how hard depreciation with our update scale hits across the board? Especially in the final seasons. I actually think we are in a good spot. The heavy earners will have the excess to handle the steep falls in 7th/8th season while everyone else settles with the hard decisions of prioritizing attributes.

Credit to @K1NG LINUS for "Drink the Beer," actually. Article here.

Wow. 
 
I’m seriously disappointed.
 
I thought we trained you to be the next level goon, Shackleford, what is this mockery of Saskatoon’s development program?! 

Congrats to the following:
 
CAPTAIN - JERRY GARCIA @GustavMattias
ALTERNATE - MATTHEW MATERAZO @Matt_O
ALTERNATE - JACK LYNCH @xsjack
 
These three will be representing Malmo this year along with the rest of our squad. 

MALMO--The Nighthawks' experience this past season was disappointing to say the least, but that didn't stop the team, and their new class of players, from having a good time Wednesday night, as several of the team's players were spotted at a local bar. Good times were had by all, until defenseman Rusty Shackleford was breathed upon by new callup MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS. 
 
"I don't know, I guess I just got a bit too close to him," said Shackleford from a hospital bed Thursday night. "He kinda leaned over and breathed fire all over me, and now here I am." 
 
"We were all having fun playing 'Drink the Beer,' our favorite party game," said forward Matthew Materazo, "but then Shack caught on fire and we had to tranquilize MORPHEUS and that was that for the night." 
 
Meanwhile, DESTRUCTIOUS declined to offer an apology for his actions, although he did acknowledge that he was told not to "DEVOUR SOUL OF LITTLE MAN IN SAME COLORED SHIRT" by team management after the incident. 
 
Shackleford is in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery by the start of the season.
 
 
Mentioned: @K1NG LINUS @Matt_O @Abaddon 

Ottawa is doomed now

Saskatoon has an open AGM position... 
 
Blah, blah, blah - random comment about the old one - blah, blah, blah... need a computer - no exceptions - so I can teach you how to upload lines and use STHS’s decision making formula to a rough extent... blah, blah, blah something about me being a greedy cunt so the job is unpaid.
 
Blah. Blah, blah.
 
Nyko is automatically denied because Thran needs more AGM seasoning above him. 
 
Did I cover everything? 
 
Oh, oh right, one more thing. I’m still just the interim GM for Saskatoon so if Bana fires me you’ll likely replace me as GM. @Banackock

S66-67 Off-Season Run-Down I - The Bottom Five
 
Compared to Season 66, this off-season has been a whirlwind – just about on schedule, with an expectation for Season 67 proper to start on either Sunday or Monday. After a dominant regular season, the Helsinki Titans and their two skater stars in Julian Borwinn @Jubo07 and S65-66 free agent signing Matt Thompson @Beketov easily cleaned up in the playoffs – and the awards, with nearly a dozen going their way. And that’s not even including their first- and second-team All-VHL selections.
 
In terms of the draft, Season 67’s class was incredibly deep – much like last season, and a very promising sign – which means some teams have been revamped a bit. And while some teams have traded away players, they were generally pretty even exchanges: New York started a fire sale for picks, and Toronto kept on doing its thing just trading away all of its draft picks. Otherwise, a couple of exchanges for picks to offload some salary didn’t seem to make much of a difference.
 
But here’s a hot take: even this season’s biggest free agent signing in Veran Dragomir doesn’t change my favorite for the S67 championship. Heck, it might not even put them in the top two. Read below and in this topic's companion article for  more opinions!
 
 
#10 – Seattle Bears

GM // @Banackock
Stars // None
Risers // S67 LW Acyd Burn
S67 D Ambrose Stark
S67 D Boone Jenton
S67 LW Henrik Zoiderberg
S67 D Hulk Hogan
S67 C Scott Greene
S66 C Thomas Kennedy
S66 G Rayz Funk
 
Of all of the teams with a bright future, Seattle has the most potential. Like New York, they have a relatively younger ‘star’ player in center Joel Ylonen @Esso2264 (an S64 prospect) surrounded by players that would most likely qualify for limited second to third line minutes on other teams. But it’s worth noting – if it isn’t already obvious enough from their ‘Risers’ – that Seattle hit with deep S66 picks and have a tremendous number of 250+ TPE S67 selections.
 
The first season or two for the Bears has been and will be rough – there’s little way around that. With the retirement of Defenseman of the Year and assists leader Samuel Gate @street, there are few current redeeming qualities for the bears. But between rookie wingers @Acydburn and @HenrikZoiderberg, rookie center Scott Greene @DoktorFunk and sophomore Thomas Kennedy @Walter Fizz, three rookie defensemen in Hulk Hogan @HulkHogan, Ambrose Stark, and Boone Jenton @FakeJenton, and goalie Rayz Funk @Rayzor_7, the Bears have literally drafted an entire set of first liners for the future.
 
The question is, will they stick around after their rookie contracts? If 5 or more of the 6 re-sign, they’ll be a force to be reckoned with come S70, but hardly anything is ever so certain in the VHL.
 
High Points - First-line center Ylonen; ridiculously good S67 draft class. Hulk Hogan will be a first-line starter right away, and Seattle has possibly the best future defensive trio and goalie in the league.
Concerns - Everything from F1-F3 and D1-D2... for this season.
 
Projected Lines
F1 // Shane Mars – Joel Ylonen – Acyd Burn
F2 // Henrik Zoiderberg – Scott Greene – Thomas Kennedy
F3 // Valeri Morozov – (Thomas Kennedy?) – Edgar Tannahill
 
D1 // Lando Baxter – Dallas Jones/Hulk Hogan
D2 // Ambrose Stark – Boone Jenton
 
G // Rayz Funk
 
#9 – New York Americans

GM // @Esso2264
Stars // RW Dan Wilinsky
Risers // S67 ACL TEAR
S66 RW Aleksander Rodriguez
S66 RW Nethila Dissanayake
S67 C Boris the Forest
 
The Americans squeaked into the last playoff spot in Season 66, and promptly started a fire sale in order to take on two excellent S67 prospects in winger ACL Tear @Quik and center Boris the Forest @chillzone. In the process, they rid themselves of first-liners Joel Ylonen, Joseph McWolf, and Leph Twinger and accumulated picks for S67/S68.
 
For now, that leaves them with several promising young prospects and superstar winger Dan Wilinsky @oilmandan, the lone skater above 500 TPA for the Americans. Thankfully he’s still mid-career, having entered via the S63 draft, and that gives him another couple of seasons to see the New York roster grow. For now, he’ll likely line up with center Carles Puigdemont and fellow winger Kisshan Shan, particularly as the team waits for one of wingers Aleksander Rodriguez @Jtv123, Nethila Dissanayake @nethi99, or TEAR to pass one of the two. Until then, this leaves New York’s first two forward lines as a bit underwhelming, and their D1 line woefully so. In fact, it’s unclear as to who, exactly, New York can even play at D2. Piotr Jerwa and Bald Guy will likely man the first line, while Mountain Thunderfist and maybe a call-up or position swapped forward will have to man the second spot in the second defensive line.
 
New York also has one of the larger rosters in the league, sitting on 15 skaters and 3 goalies. While the aging Tristan Iseult isn’t a bad backup for perennial starter Ismond Kingfisher, their dearth in starting-quality skaters forces the Americans down to ninth.
 
High Points – Good, young prospects (S65+) complemented by a single superstar in Wilinsky. Rodriguez, TEAR, Forest, and Dissanayake should be steady earners.
Concerns – No other skaters above 500 TPE. Depth is questionable beyond second forward line and a singular defender (Jerwa). Expect the S68 NYA first pick to be either 1 or 2OA.
 
Projected Lines
F1 // Kisshan Shan – Carles Puigdemont – Dan Wilinsky
F2 // ACL TEAR – Boris the Forest – Nethila Dissanayake
F3 // Aleksander Rodriguez – Maximilian Kirbsson – Blake Laughton
 
D1 // Piotr Jerwa – Bald Guy
D2 // Mountain Thunderfist – ???
 
G // Ismond Kingfisher
 
#8 – Malmö Nighthawks

GM // @Advantage
Stars // None (RW Matthew Materazo future)
Risers // S66 D Jerry Garcia, S67 RW Lucas Nygren, S66 D Rusty Shackleford, S67 C Trevor Van Lagen
 
As the new kid on the block, Malmö really has their work cut out for them. After a hot start to last season, they were eliminated from the playoffs with around 10 games left, and part of it had to do with their selected expansion core. The Nighthawks chose high TPE players, many of which unfortunately ended up going inactive.
 
GM Chris Miller did an excellent job drafting generally high-quality players in Season 66. D Jerry Garcia @GustavMattias in particular has shot up the rankings since being revealed as a possible sleeper in the draft and taking on a VHLM GM position. In a similar vein, defenseman Rusty Shackleford @K1NG LINUS was drafted slightly lower but continues to earn TPE like a madman. When it comes to offense, Malmö’s team is predictably young but promising; Materazo has his work cut out for him, as he’ll most likely be working with veteran Mikka Pajari (492 TPE) and RW Jack Lynch (425) against other first lines. Garcia and one of Shackleford/Basaraba Moose will man the first defensive line, but they’ll likely struggle against league-average lines with 250-300 more TPE than either of them.
 
Ultimately, from the top-down, Malmo needs time to develop its prospects. With a handful of pretty reliable users occupying their roster, they’ll need to figure out a way to retain all of their actives come S68 and S69.
 
High Points – Excellent young defenders, reliable earners after F1. Jerry Garcia and Rusty Shackleford have shown promising consistency in point earning from S66’s draft class. S67 prospects will get starting time sooner rather than later.
Concerns – Stated above. Malmö’s not going to win playoff games any time soon, if I had my guess.
 
Projected Lines
F1 // Jack Lynch – Mikka Pajari – Matthew Materazo
F2 // Blake Gaudette – Teagan Glover – Lucas Nygren
F3 // Trevor Van Lagen – Phil Marleau – Brian Strong
 
D1 // Jerry Garcia – Rusty Shackleford
D2 // Basaraba Moose – MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS
 
G // Michael Johnson
 
 
#7 – Moscow Menace

GM // @Victor
Stars // LW Randoms, C Podrick Cast
Risers // S66 C Jet Jaguar, S66 G Owen May
 
As one of the two most recent expansion teams, this is about where I’d expect to find Moscow. There are some starter-quality players on the team that can join Randoms and Podrick Cast, namely C Mark Gebauer, RW Jorgon Weyed, and LW Dan Baillie, but none of the Moscow lines blow other teams’ lines out of the water. That’s not to say the Menace’s offseason was uneventful – they offloaded picks to Riga and Vancouver to acquire three best players in Cast, Randoms, and goalie Roger Sterling – but they certainly mortgaged some of their future in the progress.
 
Ultimately, Moscow is still a very young team, and with rising stars like C Jet Jaguar @gorlab and “goalie of the future” Owen May @FacebookFighter, we can likely say that the Russians have some good days ahead. They may want to move some of their veteran players out for some active rookie and sophomore players or some high draft picks, as I don’t see the Menace going terribly far in the playoffs if they make it. Offensively, they’re capable of keeping up; their first line is perhaps only marginally worse than Riga’s, while their F2 is a fair bit better than the league average (but possibly worse than Vancouver’s).
 
Defensively, we have a different story: Moscow’s best defender is 468 TPE Paolo Nano - good for most teams’ second line, but certainly not their first.
 
High Points – Young, developable team with a pair of veteran mentors. Will have good transition from Sterling to May in goal. Very deep at forward, with Pavlov moving up to F3 shortly.
Concerns – Defense currently doesn’t measure up to other mid-table teams. First line offense doesn’t have a clear-cut star.
 
Projected Lines
F1 // Randoms – Podrick Cast – Jorgon Weyed
F2 // Dan Baillie – Mark Gebauer – Jet Jaguar
F3 // Dimitri Volosenkov – Connor McDavid/Vladimir Pavlov – Mat Tocco
 
D1 // Paolo Nano – Evgeni Komarov
D2 // Mitch Matthews – Edward Vigneault
 
G // Roger Sterling
 
#6 – Vancouver Wolves

GM // @Beaviss
Stars // C Beau Louth, C Rauno Palo, D Shawn Glade
Risers // S66 LW Julius Freeman, S67 G Greg Eagles, S66 C Hans Gruber, S67 C Micheal Gary Scott
 
The Wolves made it to the finals last year – so why are they sixth, and third overall in the North American Conference? They re-signed Gritty @Positivefan036 and Denver Wolfe @InstantRockstar, who will both be important depth pieces, but don’t have any first line quality players beyond the above listed three stars. S66 draftees LW Julius Freeman @rjfryman and RW Shawnomir Jagr @TheLastOlympian07 are pivotal in forming the second lines, and both are likely to break the 600 TPE mark this season.
 
One point of difficulty comes with Vancouver’s depth at one position – center. Both of their stars are there, and many of their depth pieces (e.g. Hans Gruber, Micheal Gary Scott) have lower effective TPA because of points lost to faceoff skills. And unless they plan on putting Louth and Palo on the same line, Vancouver’s stuck with 400-550 TPE players occupying the remainder of their top two forward line spots. This bodes well for their F2 – which would be the best by about 100 TPE per player if Rauno Palo were put there – but the star split makes for a F1 line that pales in comparison to Helsinki’s, Riga’s, Davos’s, Toronto’s, and Calgary’s. Their first defensive pair (Shawn Glade and Jagger @Philliefan) is similar in quality to Calgary’s, putting them at about fourth in the league, while their D2 sits moderately above the league average. However, Vancouver can easily fight fatigue, as they’re likely to have 8+ forwards above 400 TPE this season.
 
The factor that pushes them furthest down the rankings, however, is their goalie. Even if Greg Eagles and Clayton Park are incredibly active this season, they’ll both hit 450 TPE at best – which puts them possibly above Seattle in North America and tied-ish with Malmo in Europe. That’s not a great look for a team that wants to contend.
 
High Points – Excellent Center and overall offensive depth. Good defensive depth.
Concerns – Very star-reliant (i.e. Louth and Palo) forward lines. Their goalies are also very raw prospects and may have a tough time because of average defensive depth.
 
Projected Lines
F1 // Julius Freeman – Beau Louth – Gritty
F2 // Hans Gruber – Rauno Palo – Shawnomir Jagr
F3 // [F1 extra minutes] – Micheal Gary Scott – Ben Hafkey
 
D1 // Shawn Glade – Jagger Philliefan
D2 // Denver Wolfe – Codrick Past
 
G // Clayton Park (early) / Greg Eagles (mid-late)

After much deliberation on the matter, I've decided to do make my hire, after contacting @Acydburn and making sure my hire wouldn't be getting in the way of his plans. 
 
Anyway, I'd first like to thank everyone who applied for this job, hoping they'd get it. I can say with confidence that if you weren't hired, it would be fair to say you were FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. There were just that many good people putting their names in and I knew right off the bat, after a few people had applied, that I'd feel bad about hiring anyone, because that would mean I wouldn't be hiring all these others with loads of enthusiasm and potential. That being said, though, there can only be one, and with confidence that I'm making the right choice (because, let's face it, you're all the right choice), the new Hounds AGM is...
 
 
@HulkHogan @Gaudette @Motzaburger @berocka @Jayrad28 @Strooper99 @DoktorFunk @uphillmoss
 
Thank you all for applying once again, and I hope to see a great number of you in management someday. Keep at it!

I don't know who the Hounds are, but I'll throw my hat in

Really hit the nail on the head with my predictions! 

The Nighthawks started the season off hot, but failed to keep up it, finishing in ninth place. What can this expansion team do to position themselves into contenders?
 
 
Malmo had a tremendous start to their season, with a combination of young talent (Materazo, Glover, Lynch, Garcia, Moose) alongside some veteran players  (Carison,Odinsson, Pajari). Their strong start was short lived, they began to slip down the standings, and eventually found themselves sitting in ninth place, only ahead of Seattle. What can they do this offseason to improve their current roster? Lets take a look at some of their prospects they have coming up to the VHL next season.
 
New Prospects
Malmo will likely be running three forward lines next year, with many new players coming up from the VHLM. They have center Lucas Nygren coming to Malmo, alongside a flurry of wingers coming up from the minors, such as Blake Gaudette, Brian Strong, and Blake Laughton. On defense, MORPHEUS, the crusher of skulls and destroyer of souls, will make his long awaited VHL debut next season, alongside fellow bone crusher Rusty Shackleford.They will also get goaltender Juan Juandice, who put up solid numbers in the minors. We will see what his role in Malmo will be, depending on if they select Rayz Funk or not. 
 
That is a ton of new talent that is being brought up, without much talent leaving the team. Sadly, Vaydar Odinsson will not be returning to Malmo next season, and I anticipate guys such as David Harrison, Sergei Kovalev and Bolt Vanderhuge will be on the way out, since they have not updated in over a month and a half. That leaves Malmo with some key decisions in the upcoming draft, despite only having a few picks heading into it.
 
Draft
The Nighthawks will have the 3rd and 6th overall picks, as well as two third rounders. I can see a few things happening:
 
With their first round pick, they need anything they can get. With the early retirement of Johnny Havenk Carison, taking Rayz Funk to replace Carison is a path that the Nighthawks may consider. They also can try to add a scoring winger, such as Bjorn Scoringsson. They have good center depth, with Nacho, Nygren, and Glover down the middle, alongside an aging Pajari. I would suggest picking Rayz Funk. Funk will replace Carison in net, and would be the future of Malmo.
 
With the seventh pick, they should go for a forward, specifically a center. Nygren has made the decision to move from center to defense, so picking up a defenseman holds little use. I think Malmo should reach a little and select Michael Scott with the seventh overall pick. Many teams are high on Scott, so picking him seventh would be an excellent pickup for the Nighthawks. He would complete a center core that features Mikka Pajari and Teagan Glover.
 
With the two third rounders, they could go for another center. Pajari is aging, and having a center that can replace him is important. They should select Zeno Miniti and Danny DeYeeto with their two picks. DeYeeto provides Malmo with another defenseman that can step in if anyone falls to inactivity, and Miniti could be a potential replacement for Pajari when he retires.
 
Stay Patient
Malmo is still in a position where they are a year or two away from being a serious contender. There is no need to go out and make a big free agency splash by signing Veran Dragomir. As long as Malmo doesn't try to become immediate contenders, they will be incredible for multiple seasons in the near future. We saw the tragedy of the New York Americans attempting to accelerate their rebuild and paying for it dearly the last two seasons before falling back into the bottom of the league. As long as Malmo can avoid doing something like that, they could be a top notch team alongside Moscow and Seattle in the years to come.
 
Here is what Malmo could look like next season:
 
Lynch-Pajari-Materazo
Gaudette-Glover-Scott
Strong-Nygren-Laughton
 
Garcia-Shackleford
MORPHEUS-Moose
 
Funk
Jaundice
 
That is a scary lineup. They aren't super skilled, but their physical presence will be well known throughout the league. Pajari finished second in the league in hits, and the additions of MORPHEUS and Shackleford will surely make offenses think twice, and throw them off their game. Malmo probably won't be great next year, but they will be incredible in a few years

Gotta pay your dues rookie

Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.
 
Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"
 
Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 
 

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.
 
Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.
 
The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 
 
Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 
 
 
@xsjack @Devise @Matt_O @Gaudette @Phil @Wheaties @Bucky___lastard @VanCanWin @GustavMattias @K1NG LINUS @Toasty @Abaddon @fonziGG @Jus @HughJas_ @MetalToday @trevmi @Dalton Wilcox @Jayhawk @mmarcoux98 @HanManHimself @Advantage

The VHL Award Ceremony
Presented by Victory Sports News
Credit to @Motzaburger and @ShawnGlade for all the graphics for the show
 
 
Remember, if you won an award (individual) in either the VHL or VHLM, you are entitled to add 2 Uncapped TPE for each award won. If you are a co-winner, add 1 Uncapped TPE for that award. To claim, just link this page to your updates.
 
 
Championship - Continental Cup: Helsinki Titans
 Best Regular Season Record - Victory Cup: Helsinki Titans
Continental Cup Finalists: Vancouver Wolves vs. Helsinki Titans
  
MVP - Scotty Campbell Trophy: Julian Borwinn
 
Most Outstanding Player (player vote) - Brett Slobodzian Trophy: Julian Borwinn
 
 Playoff MVP - Daisuke Kanou Trophy: Alexander Pepper
 
Leading Points - Mike Szatkowski Trophy: Julian Borwinn (114)

Leading Goals - Kevin Brooks Trophy: Julian Borwinn & Matt Thompson (51)

Leading Assists - Alexander Beketov Trophy: Samuel Gate (76)
 
Lowest GAA - Greg Clegane Trophy: Kallis Kriketers (2.31)

Top Defenseman - Sterling Labatte Trophy: Samuel Gate
 
Top Offensive Defenseman - Alexander Valiq Trophy: Dan Montgomery
 
Top Defensive Defenseman - Jake Wylde Trophy: Samuel Gate & Basaraba Moose

Top Goalie - Aidan Shaw Trophy: Alexander Pepper & Kallis Kriketers
 
Top Two-Way Forward - Scott Boulet Trophy: Matt Thompson
 
Top Rookie - Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy: Shane Mars
 
Executive of the Year - David Knight Trophy: Matt Bailey
 
Most Improved - Dustin Funk Trophy: Julian Borwinn
 
ALL VHL TEAMS
 
FIRST VHL TEAM - May Claim 2 TPE
F - Julian Borwinn
F - Jake Davis
F - Matt Thompson
D - Dan Montgomery
D - Samuel Gate
G - Kallis Kriketers
 
SECOND VHL TEAM - May Claim 1 TPE
F - Sebastian Ironside
F - Edwin Preencarnacion
F - Beau Louth
D - Maxim Kovalchuk
D - Ryan Kastelic
G - Alexander Pepper
 
ROOKIE TEAM - May Claim 1 TPE
F - Shane Mars
F - Jet Jaguar
F - Dmitri Volosenkov
D - Basaraba Moose
D -  Beau Buefordsson
G - Clayton Park

Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.
 
Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"
 
Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 
 

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.
 
Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.
 
The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 
 
Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 
 
 
@xsjack @Devise @Matt_O @Gaudette @Phil @Wheaties @Bucky___lastard @VanCanWin @GustavMattias @K1NG LINUS @Toasty @Abaddon @fonziGG @Jus @HughJas_ @MetalToday @trevmi @Dalton Wilcox @Jayhawk @mmarcoux98 @HanManHimself @Advantage

HELL NO, IM ABOUT TO BE A VHLM SUPERSTAR.

Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.
 
Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"
 
Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 
 

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.
 
Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.
 
The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 
 
Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 
 
 
@xsjack @Devise @Matt_O @Gaudette @Phil @Wheaties @Bucky___lastard @VanCanWin @GustavMattias @K1NG LINUS @Toasty @Abaddon @fonziGG @Jus @HughJas_ @MetalToday @trevmi @Dalton Wilcox @Jayhawk @mmarcoux98 @HanManHimself @Advantage

Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.
 
Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"
 
Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 
 

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.
 
Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.
 
The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 
 
Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 
 
 
@xsjack @Devise @Matt_O @Gaudette @Phil @Wheaties @Bucky___lastard @VanCanWin @GustavMattias @K1NG LINUS @Toasty @Abaddon @fonziGG @Jus @HughJas_ @MetalToday @trevmi @Dalton Wilcox @Jayhawk @mmarcoux98 @HanManHimself @Advantage

Earlier today, Nighthawks Defenceman Rusty Shackleford is reported to have purchased a 15 bedroom house in the city of Malmö. Shackleford blew through almost his entire bonus to do this, and immediately set about nailing 2x4 planks of lumber over the front door to spell out "Hawk House," though several pieces have already fallen off.
 
Shackleford was originally quoted as saying "I couldn't decide who I wanted as a roommate, so I decided to just be roommates with the whole team!"
 
Multiple members of the Nighthawks have been sighted entering the home, leading some to believe that the entire Nighthawks roster is living under one roof. 
 

Pictured above: Shackleford, Garcia, and Materazo playing the signature Malmö drinking game: "Drink the Beer," in which the only rule is to drink as much beer as possible.
 
Every hour on the hour semi trucks have been arriving and unloading kegs and commerical pallets of various types of liquor. Since the festivities began, sounds of raucous chanting and yelling mixed with Russian Hard Bass have filled the surrounding neighborhood, and the smell of cheap lager now permeates from the building.
 
The empty kegs and commercial sized pallets of hard liquor have already begun filling the Hawk House's driveway, causing their neighbors to become concerned by what is surely enough alcohol to kill a herd of elephants being consumed nearby. 
 
Shackleford has explained that the Hawk House plans on hiring VHLMers to clean up the party debris, but that they would only be paid in beer. 
 
 
@xsjack @Devise @Matt_O @Gaudette @Phil @Wheaties @Bucky___lastard @VanCanWin @GustavMattias @K1NG LINUS @Toasty @Abaddon @fonziGG @Jus @HughJas_ @MetalToday @trevmi @Dalton Wilcox @Jayhawk @mmarcoux98 @HanManHimself @Advantage

what a clever name

@HughJas_ can clean up after