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Daniel Janser

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Posts posted by Daniel Janser

    Interesting Places in the US, and Which Teams I Would Move There

    in Media Spots

    Posted · Edited by Daniel Janser

    1 hour ago, Gustav said:

    I think Ottawa, being very wildcat-ish itself

    Coyotes are canine though... but I guess it is as good a reason as any...

    Hmm looks like Amboy was the real life reference of the town Radiator Springs in the Cars cartoon.

    BTW I share your enthusiasm for geography and every now and then (once in a blue moon) I use it to baffle my audience (or maybe they just think 'Only a nerd would know this'), but frankly I do not care...

    CGY Janser catching some pussy

    in VHL.com Articles

    Posted

    Janser was jogging in the Central Park alongside his roomie, Rin Kagamine. As they were considering to take a swim afterwards, Callum had his backpack with him with the swim trunks and all the other necessities for such an endeavour. When the two Americans backs approached the final stretch, the hulking Swiss heard a cry of distress from a nearby path. From the sound of it, it appeared to be an elderly lady. So he swerved to his right to see what the ruckus was about. There was indeed an elderly lady staring up a tall tree. 

    'You cried for help, ma'am. How can we be of assistance?'

    'Oh finally someone coming to the rescue. What a fine young man you are. Clarice got scared by a big dog and climbed that tree. I cannot climb it, I am too frail to do so.'

    'Not a problem, ma'am. Is Clarice your grand-daughter?'

    'No, Clarice is my Maine-Coon kitten. We were taking a walk in the park. I had her on the leash but once she saw the Rottweiler, she wiggled out of her collar and raced up the tree.'

    'I understand.' 

    Callum but his backpack on the front so he could contain the kitten once he reached her. He climbed the tree with no apparent effort, being used to climb the Swiss mountains with little to no protrusion, climbing an elm tree was a walk in the park. He lured the kitten with some of the treats her owner provided him with and the scaredy kitty-cat approached him cautiously. Dangling from a branch on one arm, Janser snatched the fugitive and put her into his back pack, closing the zipper so only the head of the pet stuck out.

    He descended like the seasoned climber that he is and brought the kitten back to the lady waiting impatiently.

    'Oh thank you sir. How can I ever thank you for bringing her back to me.'

    'Ma'am, no thanks are needed. It was a pleasure to climb again. Take care of your little rascal.'

    'I will. Thanks again.'

    Rebranding The Dynamo

    in Media Spots

    Posted

    A case could be made that New York is in need of a rebrand to lose the stench of mediocrity and the longest cup draught in recorded history. And one would not be wrong. I am a loyal member/player, but I must admit that the Americans could use a new logo, as the existing one is kind of bland.

     

    However, this is article is not about the Empire State franchise, this is about my real life nemesis: Davos.

     

    Don't get me wrong: I have nothing against the VHL franchise located in the Swiss Eastern Alps. In fact, I am proud that a Swiss team exists in the VHL and Davos, due to its record championships as well as the Spengler Cup is the obvious choice. So why shit on them?

     

    Because the sound of Davos alone is enough to grind my gears being a supporter of the much superior EV Zug. While the Davos Dynamo has a certain appeal with its alliteration, the suffix 'Dynamo' was traditionally used in the Eastern Hemisphere during the cold war era I grew up in. Names like Dynamo Dresden (GDR), Dynamo Kiev, Dynamo Moscow and Dynamo Riga (all former USSR, now Ukraine, Russia and Latvia respectively) were the poster clubs of the Warsaw Pact states in Football and Hockey respectively and the bane of the clubs hosted in the self proclaimed 'free world'. Therefore, the combination 'Dynamo' with any Swiss club sounds wrong. Especially, since we were the odd one out, being close to the border of the two power blocks at the time, and continously fearing for our freedom and independence.

     

    So I would suggest to relocate Davos to Zug. The latter is not at the brink of Switzerland, but smack in the middle and is arguably more international, due to many global companies having their headquarters in said city. I will admit it has not the same glamour as Davos with its WEF and the high society spending their ski holidays there. On the other hand it is a trading hub and a fair share of ressources (metals and oil chief amongst them) are going through Zug (mostly on paper and not in physical form).

     

    stadt-city-mit-parktower-und-zugersee-sc

    City of Zug at sunset

     

    Now I was thinking of using Bulls as the new logo as Zug used to be a well known cattle market. But this business has been overshadowed by the aforementioned trading companies. So we could use the name Oilers and keep the logo as it is. The mountains are so typically Swiss that they fit any location in my home country. And whether it is a non-existing dynamo (a widget to transfer kinetic energy into electrical one) or non-existent oil that is represented by the mountain, does not really matter. 

     

    I even think we should keep the colour, as blue and white (the Zug coat of arms hues) are too common place and purple is a welcome change. It certainly is not my favourite shade of the rainbow, but I am willing to accept this.  

     

    So there it is, my suggestion for a rebranding and now I am going to buggy on out before Ahma locates my whereabouts and sends me an angry letter.

    Calgary Wranglers press conference

    in Team Press Conferences

    Posted

    image.png.2e081f98548623d4c2567b789b7364

     

    1. Calgary is in a rut. To better the team spirit the Wrangler organize a team building event. What is it and why?

    2. The Wranglers want to support a charity and ask players for a worthy cause. What is your suggestion and why?

    3. The team go to a karaoke bar. Who is the first one on stage, what song do they pick and how off key do they sing?

    4. The City of Calgary asks for help in making the town beautiful (again?). What task does your player volunteer for?

    5. If you were a fish, what fish were you (for the purpose of this question any waterlocked creatures are considered fish (i.e. whales, dolphins, squids, jellyfish etc are viable answers) and why does that particular animal appeal to you?

    6. Today I witnessed a bird of pray strike another bird. What was your highlight of the day? 

    Games: 243-257

    in S93 Games

    Posted

    13 hours ago, Garsh said:

    Kronchy Kardashian and B-LAS C2 fight to a draw at 5:59 of 3rd period
    Kronchy Kardashian and B-LAS D10 fight to a draw at 11:59 of 3rd period

     

    Get out of here bots, stop stealing hard working player's ice time

    you are just salty you could not even beat a bot up ;)

     

    The C.G.Y. Janser Story, Part XXV: Contender or Pretender

    in Media Spots

    Posted

    a-tale-of-two-brothers-cgyjanser.jpg?ex=

    graphic courtesy by Leandrofg

    (stats for Janser, stats for Kagamine)

     

    The VHL is approaching the mid-way mark and the Americans start to look like a playoff team. They sport a 19-8-4 record and continue to be a defensive bulwark with the lowest goals against number. Janser has started to racking up points as well after an underwhelming start into the season, a trait he seems to have inherited of his dad. The towering defender is on a 65 point trajectory for a full season and we hope that he can keep this pace.

     

    Today we will show case to games of his team for your entertainment.

     

    Davos_Bar.pngNYA_bar_rmHxH48.png

    0-6

    In the first featured match, the Americans are meeting the Dynamo, this season's whipping boy in the European conference. A win was expected from the Northamerican representative, and they did not disappoint. New York had a field day with Davos' overburdened defence and sent them packing in a 6-0 win. It took Davis all of 2:49 in the first to score the game winning goal. This was followed up by Freddy's tenth of the season less than one and a half minute later. Both goals were scored on a feed of Janser. In the second frame, Davis raised the stakes again after nineteen seconds of play. Are freaking Joshing me? In the third Analfist with a brace and French with a marker on the man advantage sealed the deal. The three stars all went to New York players in Davis (2g/2a), Analfist (2g/0a) and Janser (0g/2a). 36W had almost a beach day with only seventeen shots fired in his direction and this may well be the easiest earned shutout in his career, Pedersen (.900) was not bad, but with the amount of attempts, it was only a question of when not if he is going to allow goals against. The Americans' special teams were not overworked in this match, as they did not draw a penalty (or rather none which resulted in a power play for Davos) and the power play was immaculate (1/1).

    Janser left the field with 0g, 2a, +3, 4 hits, and 1 sb

    Rin recorded 0g, 0a, +2 and 2hits 

     

    NYA_bar_rmHxH48.pngCGY_bar_mFmKLZ5.png

    4-2

    In the second match, the Empire State boys met an Original Eight franchise from the city Callum grew up in. In a hard fought game, the US team came out victorious. The first period was very one sided in terms of shots with the counter 14-4 in favour of the Albertan team, but balanced in goals scored, since neither team could solve the opposite netminder. In the second frame, the shot clock as well as the score board was balance as either team scored two goals. However, the Wranglers only found a gap when playing on numerical advantage, whereas Champ and Bumfist scored on even strength. In the final period, during a power play situation, Callum scored one of his rare goals. FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY attempts a shot, but same is blocked by Block (sic!), Amish picks up the orphaned disc and whips it off target. The Swiss back digs the puck out and beats Dilson on the far post for the game winner. Calgary then pulled the goalie but with 1:16 left in the game, Davis puts the nail in the coffin with a marker in the deserted Wranglers net. Analfist (1g,2a), Janser (1g/1a) and Davis (1g/1a) were given the post game honours. 36W (.949) wins the duel in with a margin over Dilson (.897). The New York special teams were a bit lack luster with 1/7 for the power play and 3/5 for the penalty killing units. There is certainly room for improvement.

    Janser had 1g, 1a, +2, 4 hits and 1sb to his name

    Kagamine was noted with 0g, 0a, +1, 1 hit and 4sb

     

    Here are the stats for Janser and Kagamine for the season:

    Rin: 31gp, 4g, 3a, 7pts, +5, 22 PIM, 37 hits, 51sb, 2ppg, 2gwg

    CGY: 31gp, 4g, 24a, 28pts, +26, 72 PIM, 85 hits, 52sb, 2ppg, 1gwg

     

     

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/145648-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xx-he-is-in-the-army-now/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146035-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxi-a-busy-offseason/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146308-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxii-an-inter-season-interview/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146571-vsn-presents-s93-vhl-preview/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146609-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxiii-a-new-season-is-upon-us/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146757-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxiv-a-quarter-done/

    GM 224: HC Davos Dynamo vs. New York Americans (vhlportal.com)

    GM 233: New York Americans vs. Calgary Wranglers (vhlportal.com)

     

    Spoiler

    @Josh @STZ @GioSivo @Anthique @rory @JeffD @Rin @MexicanCow123 @jblock3

     

    600+ words

    The tide turns...

    in Graphics/Videos

    Posted · Edited by Daniel Janser

    5 hours ago, samx said:

    I do not think bulls can swim. therefore the tide is about to take you out real quick.

    in my experience animals can either swim or fly in order to escape wild fires...

     

    EDIT: or burrow in the ground

    [2024 April Fools] An Unfortunate Announcement

    in Announcements

    Posted

    6 hours ago, Dil said:

    At this point when we’re already paying $2.00/L everything behind doesn’t even matter 🥲

    welcome to European prices... a litre diesel (the more expensive fuel) is priced at around CHF 1.95/litre. Which is about CAD 2.91/litre or USD 2.15/litre or USD 8.14/gallon. On the other hand, European roads are by and large narrower a/o have less lanes and hence only a few drive cars with the fuel consumption of a pool house ;)

     

    CGY Janser goes shopping

    in VHL.com Articles

    Posted

    Callum went to the local Wal-Mart for some grocery shopping. When he was in queue at the tiller, he noticed that there was an argument on the head of the line. He walked up to the elderly man, who was clearly embarassed that his card was rejected by the card reader and was frantically trying to find enough cash to settle the tally. People in the queue got upset and started complaining. The 'Beauty' saw the tatoo on the guys lower arm. 'Thank you for your service, sir. What seems to be the problem?'

    'Apparently, my pension has not come in yet and I had unexpected expenses which kind of let me short on cash. How did you know I served?'

    Cal-Gary replied: 'You have the emblem of the 75th Rangers with their motto 'sua sponte' tatooed on your right arm, sir. And from the dates underneath it, I take it you were deployed to 'Nam.' Then he turned to the shop assistant: 'Ma'am, I would like to foot this veteran's bill.' He reverted to the old timer: 'Sir, if there is anything else you wish to purchase, I am happy to pay for these items as well.'

    The war vet was close to tears: 'Son, you do not have to do that. Give me at least your details, so I can pay you back.'

    'Sir, I do this because I want to. And you have paid forward many times already, when you put your live on the line for your country.'

    'I do recognize you now, you play for the Americans, do you not?'

    'Yessir and proud of it, too.'

    'Thanks then. God bless you, son.'

    'Thank you, sir.'

     

    4/5 uncapped

     

    The C.G.Y. Janser Story, Part XXIV: A quarter done

    in Media Spots

    Posted

    a-tale-of-two-brothers-cgyjanser.jpg?ex=

    graphic courtesy by Leandrofg

    (stats for Janser, stats for Kagamine)

     

    The Americans have absolved twenty games in the present season and are third in the NA conference with a 11-5-4 and a two win mini streak. As in last season, the team hailing from the Empire State have one of the best back rows in the league, only out-performed by the defending champions D.C. Dragons by the statistical insignificant margin of one goal against. On an individual level, it appears that Janser is on the often quoted sophomore slump, as he has focussed on his leadership skills more than any physical traits, which may have been premature. However, the team does better than last year and looks like a lock for the playoffs, albeit it is still a long way to go. People close to the Swiss back know that he is not too much concerned about personal records, unless they become a liability for his franchise. And one could reasonably argue that while his offensive stats have suffered compared to his rookie campaign, his defensive stats have not. To the contrary, his +/- rating is much better than last year's and he is a less frequent guest in the sin bin. The regression in hits dished may have to do with a more aggressive forward group, chief amongst them Champagne, who leads his team in checking.

     

    Not all young players suffer from the dreaded 2nd season curse, though. 36W has already matched last year's shutout total, has a besser save rate and the exact same GAA so far. And they do not seem to slow down at all.

     

    What is refreshing is also that the core of this team may have another 2-3 seasons of competitive play in them, if Vince Wong finds a way to manage the salary cap. It is also true that Lecavalier and the aforementioned Champagne will hang up their skates for good, but with Gretzky, the best player of all sports, times and leagues is chomping at the bit to get called up.

     

    However, there are of course question marks behind Callum's roomie and fellow draftee, Rin Kagamine's development. Since she has been in New York, she has done the bare minimum in the training sessions and her once stellar projection is now in jeopardy. Rumours have it that the 'Nagasaki Nightingale' may suffer from a severe case of homesickness, but the player as well as the New York management refused to comment on the matter.  

     

    In the next four matches, the Americans will face Moscow, leader of the European conference and perennial contender under Euron Leonidas, Seattle under the experienced guidance of Blake Campbell, the Prague Phantoms under new Management of Leonard S. Kinnard and finally London with the cup winning GM Jacob Carson. All four teams are among the top four in their respective conference. Especially the game against the Bears could be groundbreaking as the teams are only two points apart and a win in regulation in this match practically worth four points.

     

    Please find the stats for 'the Beauty and the Beast' for the running campaign:

    Kagamine: 20gp, 4g, 2a, 6pts, +2, 14 PIM, 18 hits, 39sb, 2ppg, 2gwg

    Janser: 20gp, 2g, 11a, 13pts, +12, 50 PIM, 58 hits, 30sb

     

    Kindly note related articles linked below.

     

     

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/145455-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xix-a-rookie-season-interview/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/145648-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xx-he-is-in-the-army-now/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146035-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxi-a-busy-offseason/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146308-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxii-an-inter-season-interview/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146571-vsn-presents-s93-vhl-preview/

    https://vhlforum.com/topic/146609-the-cgy-janser-story-part-xxiii-a-new-season-is-upon-us/

     

    535 words

    Spoiler

    @Anthique @rory @MubbleFubbles @Rin @Banackock @Tetricide @Spartan  @jacobcarson877

     

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