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Official Drunk/High Thread

JardyB10

By JardyB10
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sterling
sterling

Maybe you would get laid moar if you typed less in this thread.

JardyB10
JardyB10

WHAT THE FUCK JARDY WHY DIDN'T YOU SIM YESTERDAY LIKE YOU PROMISED? Well, I'd like to preface this by saying that if I had to make up the single most Fong-approved story I could think of, it would s

Phil
Phil

So I'm both high and drunk... and guarded a pool tonight to a) make sure my friends that didn't know how to swim didn't die, to show off my sexy body c) to pick up the foxy ladies.   Well.. no one

Fire Tortorella

Fire Tortorella 2,653

Posted
Posted

A couple of my drunk friends stole pylons off Central for a present.  Now I have two pylons in my living room.

 

My freshman year of college some kid woke up with a stop sign underneath his bed. He had the pleasure of being woken up by the police bright and early in the morning.

Smarch

Smarch 3,190

Posted
Posted

A couple of my drunk friends stole pylons off Central for a present.  Now I have two pylons in my living room.

I also stole a pylon off the street when living in Saskatoon. Then placed in by the bathroom, so when people asked where the can was, I told them to turn left at the pylon. 

gorlab

gorlab 4,321

Posted
Posted

I kid you not, this is 100% real shit, but I was once in a 20-30 man battle royale that started in the driveway thing of Athenas before spilling out into Central Ave. People were getting slept left and right (not by me, this time) but I remember turning my head on 3 separate occasions during the brawl just in time to see clean knockout punches.

It all popped off when one random guy stole on this other guy outside, and it escalated to each of their entire group of friends (I loosely knew the guy who got stole + his friends, so I was on their side.) plus a few random drunks going to war.

Taurus

Taurus 12

Posted
Posted

This is a long one, but this is about my first experience on a College Campus when vodka and beer was involved.

I didn't start drinking until the summer before my Junior year of high school. I became close with these kids that graduated at the end of my Sophomore year. I live in the Louisville area, and somehow, we got into a University of Louisville fraternity party.

At this point in time, my friends my age had never hung out with my older friends, but I brought them along for the ride. The only problem is that I looked alot older than I actually was. But my friends didn't, infact, we often joked about them looking twelve.

Anyways, my friends are so happy that they get invited to this shit and im just like whatever I get drunk and high with college kids every weekend. I let them do their thing, I mean, I just upgraded their night from a bottle of kamchatkra to fucking keg stands and bong rips.

Before we even leave I cna already tell this night was gonna be bad, the youngest of my friends, who is often called a metrosexual, acts like he know's everything there is to know and I let him think he does. All my friends are wearing Ralph Lauren, and this dude starts losing his shit. "College kids don't wear Ralph, you're gonna get us fucking booted out of the party."

He obviously didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, after a thirty minute car ride with way too many people in the car, we get to this random ass house in the middle of Louisville, about two miles away from campus. Remember this, because it's important.

We knock on the door and this swoll motherfucker opens the door and is like who the fuck are you, and we say we know Drex, the friend that my friend knew that went to UofL.

Before I go on any farther, my friends that invited me weren't there yet and the only other kid old enough to even be in college, decided not to go at the last minute and dumped us off at this party.

Back to the story, this guy obviously didn't give a fuck, cause he let us in. This motherfucker was packed. What's the first thing we all notice in our dress shirts, that every motherfucker in the room has on ralph. We all look at Tanner like, fuck you metrosexual. I pretty sure it was rush week when we went, there was like 4 beer pong games going and so many chicks, the chicks bros, even the ugliest were fine.

So here we are, Taurus (HS Junior), Sam (HS Junior), Tommy (12 y/o HS Junior), Joshua (HS Sophomore) and Tanner (HS Junior), sitting in the back of this frat house watching beer pong games. Finally Sam gets the balls to play pong and she makes me be her partner.

While we're playing, my friends Tommy and Tanner get in on this game on a smaller table. Sam and I lose, so we go and start meeting people. This is where SAm fucked up. This college kid asks her if she is rushing and she doesn't know what the fuck it means. She blamed it on being drunk. Which honestly, at this time everyone was drunk besides myself and Josh.

 

Tommy and Tanner win four games in a row. I guess these frats guys got suspicous cause we didn't have Cardinal ID's or thye were just pissed they were losing to twelve year olds, because at this point I'm tryna go outside and smoke and Tommy is yelling for me saying he got kicked out.

So I'm tryna hurry up and get out this house before these frat guys kick our asses, I turn the door knob and it falls out of the fucking door. I look at this clone in Ralph and shrug and get outside. I get out there, and none of my fucking friends are outside, they are all inside trying to find me I guess. I go to the door and I hear these motherfuckers yelling about who broke the door. So you know I was about getting my ass beat, I booked. I came back and Sam and my friends were all outside, as we are leaving, we hear people saying "The 12 year olds are leaving".

So here's where the story get's really bad for me, we have to walk to Campus, cause we're gonna go chill at Drex's dorm instead of finding a ride back home. Remember how I said it was two miles away, sure that's not a long walk, when you aren't trying to keep drunk motherfuckers from falling on their ass. To make matters worse, the person with directions was a fucking dumbass and let us go half a mile in the wrong direction.a

So after like an hour we get to this campus and this motherfucker is beautiful, I'm like, shit I'm going to UofL fuck Indiana. We get in Drex's dorm room and there is some girls, a shitload of pizza, a dude with a worse mouth than a hockey player and a gay guy. We stole a bottle of Kamchatkra from the frat party cause fuck those guys. It's probably like, one AM, way past curfew or whatever in this dorm but we don't give a fuck, we got the speakers on a hunned listening to Meek Mill fuck the dorm.

So I finally get to drink a little bit, I drink alot, get drunk, play some 2k, get my ass beat in it, you know the usual. Well then Drex yells out the window at this dude to come up to the room and I could tell he was bout bidness, cause he was about 7'0", had three white girls with him and some lil ass O'Dog looking motherfucker. Well this dude comes up in the room, he tries to take all our alcholol. Well then Tanner, tries to argue with this dude, keep in mind, Tanner is only like, 5 feet tall. He tries to take the bottle back from 7'0" guy and he's just like "Whiteboy I'm tall enough to be your daddy" and then leaves.

That turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because then about 20 minutes later, the RA shows up and tells us we have to quiet down. After he has to tell this hoe to stop smoking cigs and this drunk dude stops telling him is nametag is upside down, he leaves and we shut the fuck up.

After the RA leaves, my friends that are in college finally show up and they bring like four blunts, so me, tommy and these college kids go in smoke, its fun, we get high as fuck. We get back, we eat the pizza that I saw when I came in at first and then we go to go to sleep. Well me, Tanner and Amber (college friend that I kinda had a thing for at the time) have to sleep on the floor. With one blanket, so you can only imagine how it turned out with two people high as fuck and then Tanner blackout drunk.

This blanket was made for one person and it's freezing in the dorm, so we like have some weird ass wrap around eachother type of thing, idk we were high. Then Katie comes in to sleep so I just say fuck the blanket and cuddle with her. We lay there for like thirty minutes and then I hear what sounds like rain drops and shit so I look back to see out the window if its raining and there i see this metrosexual drunk motherfucker that looks twelve making out with this college kid.

I'm high, I give a fuck, but then again I don't. But these motherfuckers go at it all night and basically I don't sleep. Amber ends up taking tanner, tommy and josh home and I stay in this dorm with Drex. My friend Sam stays with me and we just chill. Then these random ass dudes come in, Jarrod and Storch.

Storch looks like two face, he has a fucking road burn on his face so big, I started his new nickname, scratch. Anyways, this dorm had balconys for people to "chill on" and "not smoke cigarettes" at, but you kno we were drinking. Well Scratch is still drunk from the night before. He takes this 40 oz on this table and throws it four stories down into a empty dorm plaza courtyard thing.

Idk, I thought that was funny. If I wasted your time, im sorry. All we did for the rest of that morning was chill with Jarrod and play fifa and talk about coming back later that day and smokin dabs and shit. but when we got back to the dorm the next day, they were checking ID's waaayyy harder than the night before, so I couldn't get in.

The end.

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