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The Long & Short of It: "Fisted Anally by a Circus Monkey"


IamMOOSE

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In what will be the shortest ever The Long & Short of It, we cover a classic, a hall of fame worthy piece of VHL history. We've all seen and heard the joke, a timeless classic of the VHL. But for so many of us, getting fisted anally by a circus monkey is punchline without an origin, a whisper of a time yonder, a memory without context. But like all great jokes, there is an origin story to this legend. One draped in prestige from its content to the players and hall of famers it originated from. After so many seasons for some us, and uses of the phrase without true knowledge of its importance to the foundations of this community, today, through the words of @Victor, he shares the story:

 

 

Moose: @Victor. what is the actual origins of the joke in the league?

 

Victor: @Moose l Kevin King to set the scene, it's S17. A fresh faced muff (long before he was even known as muff) decided to actually give the VHL a proper go and joins the legendary S18 draft with his goalie Joey Clarence.

The commissioner of the time is a guy called Slobo (you'll recognise the name Brett Slobodzian I'm sure). An absolute joker of a guy who once recorded a drunk podcast with "Fong" and "Harvey" (the resident Dil of the day) which was just him chatting shit and every now and then playing recordings of an angry Chinese and an angry Indian man. It was hilarious and completely inappropriate.

 

@thadthrasher: Literally sounds amazing haha, any way to listen to said podcast?

 

Victor: Lol afraid not its lost to the wild now.

 

thadthrasher: Just as mysteriously as it appeared, it was gone.

 

Victor: So let's go back to the S18 draft. Aidan Shaw and Daisuke Kanou were drafted in S18. You know, two of the greatest goalies of all time. Not to mention a shit ton of other Hall of Famers. Poor Clarence had no chance and fell all the way to the 3rd round despite a very healthy amount of TPE. And he realised this early on so throughout S17, on any media spot or podcast or general league thread about the draft he would post "FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY" whenever, and quite frequently, Clarence was not mentioned. You can probably piece 2 and 2 together by this point. Slobo had a bit of fun and here we are, 60 seasons and 10 years on, Still getting fisted anally by a circus monkey.

 

 

In honor of this week's The Long & Short of It, we request that everyone comment this week with simply, "FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY"

 

 

Edited by IamMOOSE
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