Zetterberg

I'll be waiting!
 

Dearest VHL nation, if you are like me, an average purveyor of the internet, you may have come across creatures known as "Vancouver Canucks fans". These absolute cretins come out of every orifice from the depths of hell every 15 years or so. From the online discourse, me, and and many others, have come to the conclusion that Vancouver Canucks fans do NOT know ball. Especially following the discussion after Vancouver Canucks defender Tyler Myers threw a wild elbow to injure an opponent last night, their baffling lack of hockey knowledge has always been a major sticking point in my head. With their very foolish hockey opinions backed up by cherry picked Jfresh and Dom lzuxckeusdms "player cards" that focus on irrelavant advanced stats like rWAR% (seriously what the fuck. this is a baseball stat. if you think WAR is relevant in anything other then baseball you are criminally insane), Canucks fans have created an echo chamber where bad opinions beget bad opinions, tricking their entire fanbase into the delusion.
 
My hypothesis is that Canucks fans lack of hockey knowledge emanates from their lack of hockey skills. Everybody knows that hockey is a very intricate sport with a wide array of abilities used to succeed. In my opinion, the very base level skill in hockey is SKATING. So I posed the Canucks fans of the VHL a simple question: "do u know how to skate". The answers will SHOCK you!
 
 
Based on these findings, the average Canuck fan does NOT know how to skate. If we dive deeper into the numbers, however, a trend starts to emerge. Of the Canucks fans that self report their ability to skate, ZERO of them are natives to Vancouver's natural fan area. Beaver is famously a product of Sherwood Park, Alberta. Perhaps this is where he learned how to skate, during his time in OIL COUNTRY. Ricer, I believe, also has roots in Alberta. version 2 is from Newfoundland and/or Labrador. In fact, the Canucks were so afraid of having a bad performance in front of him they cancelled their game when he was in town! Lol!
 
In the sake of fairness, I also contacted some fans of the Edmonton Oilers, a good sporting fan base with no flaws whatsoever. This is my control group, so we can compare people of the same general demographic (i.e. nerds that are on VHLforum.com):
 
 
If we consider this unbiased, scientific information, we can come to the conclusion that Canucks fans DO NOT know how to skate, and DO NOT know ball. Please ignore any opinion that you may hear from a B.C. based Canucks fan, and allow them to continue living in their delusion. Thank you for reading.

Jokes on all of you. Saturday, January 28th isn't in 2024.

@Members
 
Better late than never right? I promise we didn't forget about the holiday prize raffle! The draw will be taking place Sunday, January 28th, around 7pm EST. As previously mentioned the prize pool consists of 14 prizes spread over 4 tiers.
 
Tier 1 - 5 Winners
5 uncapped TPE
 
Tier 2 - 5 Winners
$15 donation equivalent (IE you get the reward choice of a $15 donation without donating, can be claimed even if you have donated this season.)
 
Tier 3 - 3 Winners
Video Game of your choice (up to a max of $90 CAD, on any system)
 
Tier 4 - 1 Winner
Nintendo Switch (OLED) console OR an NHL Jersey of the winner's choice.
 
The draw will be streamed to my twitch channel which can be found here: https://twitch.tv/beketov_vhl
 
The draw will be at random and the number of entries you have is based on the number of 12 days of Christmas threads you responded to. Everyone who responded to at least 1 day has at least 1 entry and everyone, staff included, are allowed to win. As usual if you win something and would prefer to receive the prize from the tier below you can do that. Additionally we will not exchange any prize for cash value but a difference in prize that costs the same or less can be negotiated under certain circumstances.
 
Good luck to everyone and I’ll see you all for the draw on Saturday!

Can't believe I got Torts smh

I'm not going to lie, it is kind of strange not having anything controversial to carry this article, though I suppose that's a good thing.  Maybe this week I can actually just write about the team-- ooh, or how about some Houston weather?
 
This past week saw a cold front move through Houston, causing temperatures to drop below 32 F.  It's a rare occurrence in this part of the country, to be sure, and this reporter spent the better part of her Tuesday snuggled under a cozy blanket, drinking hot tea, and watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.  Many of our northern readers, especially those in Canada, will probably scoff at the notion of shutting down a city because of a little bit of cold.  Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds weak. Y'all drive on snow-packed roads up to 5 months of the year. You plug your car in overnight hoping it will choke to life in the morning at the fifth time of asking.  You've used your arm as an ice-scraper.  You hit the ODR when its -20 C.  You wear shorts and a t-shirt in January to take out the trash.  As someone who's lived in Alberta for some time, I get it, I do.  Just keep us Houstonians in mind when your mild summer rolls around and you're out enjoying the beautiful weather.  By mid-August, Houston will be hotter than the ninth circle of hell and we'll all be swimming-- yes, swimming-- through suffocating humidity.  Sounds nice? Come on down to experience some real warm southern hospitality, and bring some of the cold with you.  
 
Where was I going with this? Oh, right-- in the midst of a cold snap the Houston Bulls are hot! 9 wins and 2 losses in their last 11, hot!
 
After a slow start to the season with an inexperienced roster, the Bulls have started to turn the corner.  The first of the Bulls' two recent losses came at the hands of the Philadelphia Reapers, who took a 7-3 victory.  The final score, however, doesn't tell the whole story as the Reapers were trailing the Bulls 3-2 after two periods of play.  An explosive 5-goal third period powered the Reapers to a lopsided result that betrays the competitive action of the first two-thirds of the game.  The Bulls' only other loss during this 11 game stretch came against the lowly Mississauga Hounds a couple nights ago, who currently hold a record of 3-21-0 with only 6 points on the season.  It's a game the Bulls would have wanted to win, and as an observer, I can't help but think that the Bulls played down to their opponent's level in this one.  Perhaps this is still a sign of the team's lack of experience and killer instinct.  To their credit, the Bulls came back the next night and earned a convincing 3-1 win against those same Hounds.  
 
Despite the Bulls doing everything in their power to keep Houston hot, even through some chilly weather, they've failed to make up much ground rank-wise.  Sure, the points in those wins have helped them close the gap to first place overall as they currently sit only 6 points back of the 16-4-4 Miami Marauders. In terms of standings, however, the Bulls remain in 6th place through 24 games, holding an record of 14-8-2.  Unfortunately for the Bulls, the teams that they're chasing in the standings have traded wins and losses recently, resulting in a shuffling of the top teams since this time last week.  
 
The Las Vegas Aces have fallen from their top spot after a scorching hot start and are now losers in their last three games, slipping down to 3rd overall. Meanwhile, the Reapers and Marauders have been able to move up to 1st and 2nd respectively, and San Diego and Mexico City have been able to do enough to stay just ahead of the charging Bulls at 32 points apiece.  
 
In a season that has been filled with all kinds of drama for the Bulls, their recent record has to be a positive sign that things are trending in the right direction.  With the various early season controversies beginning to fade in the rearview, perhaps there are signs of growth on the horizon.  Early power rankings have not favored the Bulls so far this season, but if they can continue to string together wins with regularity, it will only be a matter of time before the league takes notice.  
 
 
Lauren Lambert for VHL.com
Claimed for week of 01/28/24

What would the VHL look like if they had official Jerseys? Hockey players can't take the ice without jerseys and VHL teams are no exception so I put together what I think each team should use. To keep these as realistic as possible I wanted to keep the patterns similar to actual NHL jerseys so jersey swaps would be easier. Also very surprised the VHL doesn't have official ones, it would definitely add some uniqueness to each team.

DAVOS


 


HELSINKI


 
 

LONDON


 
 
MALMO


 
 
MOSCOW
 

 

 
PRAGUE
 

 
 
RIGA
 

 
 
WARSAW
 

thats AI

7th to 5th in a week!

BuT wHaT aBoUt CaRrYoVeR??

I also apply 

After a disappointing start to the season, Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage has demanded a trade on his NHL 24 Goalie Be A Pro save, in which the Toronto Maple Leafs are playing absolutely abysmally after sporting an all 82 overall and under defense. Bocage’s goalie, Brick Wahl, met with the Leafs GM and asked to be traded to a contender, so he was promptly moved to the Buffalo Sabres, who, to the surprise of nobody, also suck, but just a little less. While in NHL 24, Obuz cannot seem to catch a break, he can take solace in the fact that the Moscow Menace are off to a great start and while his stats haven’t necessarily been there, he is happy to be along for the ride.

“Last season was a rough one for sure, and winning definitely makes everyone feel better, but this is my home now. I wouldn’t want to play anywhere else.”

This statement comes from Obuz in the last season of his entry level contract while also being moved from the top pair to make room for rookie Leif Reingaard, and while no longer being the go-to guy for the Menace this season, OSCB still hopes that he can remain with the team for his entire career. So, while his Be A Pro may not be loyal, Bocage is more than happy to stick around through the thick and thin.

Nighthawks are 🔥 love those!

What would the VHL look like if they had official Jerseys? Hockey players can't take the ice without jerseys and VHL teams are no exception so I put together what I think each team should use. To keep these as realistic as possible I wanted to keep the patterns similar to actual NHL jerseys so jersey swaps would be easier. Also very surprised the VHL doesn't have official ones, it would definitely add some uniqueness to each team.

DAVOS


 


HELSINKI


 
 

LONDON


 
 
MALMO


 
 
MOSCOW
 

 

 
PRAGUE
 

 
 
RIGA
 

 
 
WARSAW
 

I love the concepts that @Zetterberg did for everyone’s team jerseys in the VHL- so much so that I decided to take a bit of inspiration from him and come up with the official S92 Malmo Nighthawks jerseys (including versions for the alternates)!

 
Home Jersey


 
Away Jersey


 
Alternate “Blackout” Home Jersey


 
Alternate “Whiteout” Away Jersey


 
GO NIGHTHAWKS!! 🔥⚡️

Ohhhhh yeah forgot about those, u gotta get a white jersey now though

What would the VHL look like if they had official Jerseys? Hockey players can't take the ice without jerseys and VHL teams are no exception so I put together what I think each team should use. To keep these as realistic as possible I wanted to keep the patterns similar to actual NHL jerseys so jersey swaps would be easier. Also very surprised the VHL doesn't have official ones, it would definitely add some uniqueness to each team.

DAVOS


 


HELSINKI


 
 

LONDON


 
 
MALMO


 
 
MOSCOW
 

 

 
PRAGUE
 

 
 
RIGA
 

 
 
WARSAW
 

What would the VHL look like if they had official Jerseys? Hockey players can't take the ice without jerseys and VHL teams are no exception so I put together what I think each team should use. To keep these as realistic as possible I wanted to keep the patterns similar to actual NHL jerseys so jersey swaps would be easier. Also very surprised the VHL doesn't have official ones, it would definitely add some uniqueness to each team.

DAVOS


 


HELSINKI


 
 

LONDON


 
 
MALMO


 
 
MOSCOW
 

 

 
PRAGUE
 

 
 
RIGA
 

 
 
WARSAW
 

What would the VHL look like if they had official Jerseys? Hockey players can't take the ice without jerseys and VHL teams are no exception so I put together what I think each team should use. To keep these as realistic as possible I wanted to keep the patterns similar to actual NHL jerseys so jersey swaps would be easier. Also very surprised the VHL doesn't have official ones, it would definitely add some uniqueness to each team.

DAVOS


 


HELSINKI


 
 

LONDON


 
 
MALMO


 
 
MOSCOW
 

 

 
PRAGUE
 

 
 
RIGA
 

 
 
WARSAW