chikn

this is unfortunate 
 
@Tate
@Zetterberg
@DoktorFunk
@chikn
@Eynhallow

1. I'm a little disappointed but that just means there's room for improvement
2. I think we need to trade to a goalie with higher TPA.
3. We have a good set of players on our team that makes us a high-powered offence.
4. Yes sir I did! and Gary Rush is probably my best pick I made.
5. Definitely New York Americans, no one cheers louder then our fans!
6. I think its important to always be civil with your teammates and other members of the VHL, even if you dont agree on something. if you dont have anything nice to say, then dont say anything. 

@Members
 
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSekxqVjdGFPirJrGDwWt-T5JGrcmVUaflm254Hx3C_92GcTKA/viewform?usp=sf_link
 
Each correct answer is worth 1 capped TPE at the end of the week. Don't reveal the answer in public, but if you're not sure, ask around, here, or in the special trivia Discord channel.

With Season 76 off and running, we found time to speak with VHL New York Americans star, Rhynex Entertainment @Rhynex Entertainment
 
Reporter: Hello Rhynex! Do you have a minute for a short interview? Congratulations on your new extension with the New York Americans! What are your thoughts on the makeup of the Americans? Was the extension an easy decision?
 
RE: Hello. Thank you! I had a great amount of success as a rookie playing for New York last season (S75). I feel we have a good up and coming team that has the potential to win it all in a couple years, and loyalty is a big thing for me. It was a good time to resign with New York.
 
Reporter: There are a lot of new faces in the Americans' locker room and the team is extremely young, what are your thoughts toward being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY of Rookie of the Year in S75? Who do you feel will be the Rookie of the Year this season (S76)?
 
RE: I was very disappointment with the voting and outcome for the Rookie of the Year last season. To not only getting FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY but also not receiving a single vote definitely wasn't a good feeling. But, this only makes me stronger and I what matters is winning and making the playoffs then winning that. As for S76 Rookie of the Year, it's still very early, I feel we have four players on our team who has a reasonable chance at the award. You can never leave out Red Lite @Tate, I know how good this first overall selection is, Red Lite has been very effective on my right wing. Both Cowboy Prout @Prout and Chicken Wing @chiknhave been amazing for our blueline, you cannot leave them out, and then there's the man who stands between us winning and losing, Thadius Sales @thadthrasher, if we want to win Thad will need to make those key saves. They are my picks so far.
 
Reporter: It certainly seems like there's a fire lit up! You are off to a terrific start this season, currently sitting 4th in the scoring race (22 points), and second in goals scored (11 goals). Keep up the good work and good luck for the rest of the season!
 
RE: Thank you!
 
[word count 381]

D- Latrell Mitchell
F- Timothy Brown
@linsangeles

Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for: The Gold Medal Game. The heroics of the semi-finals set up a rematch of the S74 tournament: Team Europe, defending champs, taking on their rivals Team World. Like everyone expected, this was a tough, tight match-up. Team World had no intention of taking home silver again this year. Chicken Wing @chikn got the World on the board in under 2 minutes, and they never looked back. Dolant Fertitta @Dolantgot one back for the Europeans (assisted by future Hall-of-Fame D pairing R and L @Kylrad and @gorlab), but those three Europeans were the only ones who got onto the scoresheet. In the third, already down 3-1, the R, L, F trio connected again for Europe, but Lenny Sanderson's @Gally second period marker for Team World stood as the medal-winning goal. Just to be safe, Pistil Stamen @DMaximus iced the game with two quick goals in the last half of the third, stifling any chance of a European comeback. Team World overcame their torturous history to defeat their rivals and claim the Gold Medal.

1. mock drafts seem fun.
2. Probably rhynex.
3. the song that plays after you beat a level in super Mario bros and you lands at the top of the flag.
4. I don't own any NHL jerseys:(
5. Does Happy Gilmore count? i think that's the only movie slightly related to hockey that i know of lol
6. I don't really have one but if i had to choose then i guess Boston Bruins. 

LMFAO, I've been asked twice about this now already. For anyone wondering, this is not me, this is Jack Studnicka 

Warsaw, Poland - Warsaw Predators Centreman Dakota Lamb joined a ZOOM call with us here at Szczęście Sports Network to discuss his career plans. Unbeknownst to us, he seemed very prepared for this, reciting a planned letter, which can be found below.
 
 

SITR: Thadius Sales Interview
 
{Commercial Break}
 
(TV screen re-focuses to display the VHL Network New York City Studios)
 
Host:      Welcome back to the VHL Network, Stick In The Rink! We just had a wonderful interview with VHL New York Americans' upcoming S76 Rookie Defenseman, Cowboy Prout @Prout! Now back from the commercials, we will get to chat with our second guest of the night! Please welcome VHL New York Americans' outstanding Goaltender prospect, Thadius Sales @thadthrasher! Thadius Sales, like Cowboy Prout, will also be joining the New York Americans as a S76 rookie!
(camera focuses on the audience already in a standing ovation and applause; cheers as Thadius enters from backstage)
            Welcome Thadius! Thanks for coming in today!
 
Thad: Thank you! Of course, it's a pleasure to be here!
 
Host: First of all, congratulations on a successful VHLM season! You've had a very busy and interactive past season! You were traded midseason from Miami to Las Vegas, and ended up playing 68 games in the VHLM S75 regular season. What are your thoughts on your season? How did you feel about the trade?
 
Thad: I thought my rookie season was a fairly successful one. We made it to the second round of the playoffs, so I was happy with that. Of course, I wish we would have went on further. The trade itself surprised me, I didn't expect it. 
 
Host: Very soft spoken. Being a one-for-one goaltender swap with Matthew A Sovick jr @matt sovick heading to Miami, maybe it was a look toward rebuilding for one team and a push for the cup for the other. You played a few games in S74 with the Halifax 21st before being drafted 21st overall to the VHLM by the two-time defending champions, Miami Marauders. And then you were traded to the Las Vegas Aces to end the season. How do you feel about your experience playing for 3 teams in the VHLM? Which team did you like the most? 
 
Thad: It was nice getting to know a lot of the people in various locker rooms. I didn't really get to know many people in Halifax before being released after they were eliminated in the S74 playoffs, and I was in the Miami locker room for quite some time. I loved playing for both Miami and Las Vegas and it would be hard to pick a favourite. However, since I spent most of my time with Miami I would say I liked playing with them a bit more.
 
Host: Interesting stuff! As you might have known, you will be joining two Las Vegas Aces alumni and star players in New York. You've played and interacted with quite a lot members and players in the locker rooms and on the ice. Who are some of your favourite people you have played with or against?
 
Thad: I enjoyed playing with a lot of people! Cabe McJake @RedSus, Chicken Wing @chikn, and Nathan Perry @tinafrombobsburgers were always fun in Miami. In Vegas I really liked playing with Hex Rose @Hex Universe, Linus Zetterstrom @Ledge_and_Dairy and Kelly Power @Nordin. Of course, I enjoyed my time with everyone on each team. There really weren't any bad apples that I could see.
 
Host: Sounds like you're a people person. From the looks of things, Chicken Wing will continue to help you keep the puck out next season in New York, while the others will do their best to bury them past you. What were your goals prior to S75? Did you achieve your goals? What are your plans for the future? How are you preparing for your move up to the major league, VHL?
 
Thad: I really wanted to be the leading VHLM goaltender by the end of S75. It didn't happen, but I'm not feeling discouraged. My plan is to be a great presence in the league, encouraging younger players, and hopefully being a top-tier goalie in the VHL in the seasons to come. I'm excited to move up to the New York Americans for S76, and right now my goal is to come in as the starter goaltender, that's my current goal. What a story that would be! 
 (a few woops and squeaks could be heard from the background audience)
 
Host: What kind of player do you want to be in your prime? What are your goals and expectations for S76? What are you most excited about for the next season?
 
Thad: I want to be the veteran goaltender that others after me ask "how can I play more like you?" As I said, I want to see myself as New York's starting goaltender at the start of the season. What can I say, I'm optimistic! I'm really excited about playing in the top-tier league in the presence of even more veteran players. I'll learn a lot, that's for sure.
 
Host: From the looks of things, you will be heading up to the New York Americans and may even find yourself taking the starting job. How do you feel about the Major league team you will be joining? How will you make sure you're going to be ready to face the task of backstopping for the VHL S75 last place team?
 
Thad: I'm very excited about playing for the New York Americans. I think the incoming players we will have in New York will make us one of the better teams in the league by at least S77. I'm going to continue to grind my TPE, earn what I can, and be incredibly active. S76 will see a fast growing Thadius Sales, and the other players coming up with me will also grow fast. So, while they may have been last in S75, S77 and maybe even S76 will be a vast improvement.  
 
(loud cheers from the background audience)
 
Host: Alright! Good stuff! Unfortunately, looks like we are almost out of time. Is there any parting words you want to give to the audience and the fans out there?
 
Thad: I just appreciate everyone's support. Thank you to all who have followed me since the start of my career not that long ago. It's amazing to see where I have come after prison, and it's exciting to see where I go from here! 
 
(cheers continue as the audience applause and rise to a standing ovation)
 
Host: : (talking over the loud background cheering) It's been a pleasure to have you join us today, Thadius! We hope to have you come on again in the future! Best of luck to you for your upcoming rookie VHL season! I look forward to seeing how far the new look New York Americans will go in Season 76! (continual cheers and applause could be heard from the background audience as the TV screen goes to credits)
 
 
[Total Word Count: 1126]
[Claim for weeks ending Jan. 24 and Jan. 31]
 

@Toast is back in the VHL, and it seems like we are getting the real deal this time around – not the charred discount version who made a cameo in the early 60's. In fact, it seems like Toast found his motivation back, as Phoenix Dawson currently looks like one of the better prospects available in the S76 VHL Entry Draft. And is there really a single better way to show you're back than by donating 40$ in the league's Holiday Donation Drive and winning an auction for a custom media spot by yours truly – among other things, notice my title and profile picture, which I will be showing off for the next month or so, let’s say the month countdown starts today.
 
Toast and I contacted each other after it was confirmed that he won the auction, and he gave me two choices for the media spot theme: some cheesy article about the best moments from the VHL holidays or something like this, or a comical article titled “Five things that have changed forever now that Toast is back”. Needless to say, the latter speaked to me on a deeper level and I ran away with it. It took a while to write because of holidays, work, seasonal depression and binge-playing NHL 21 – thanks again, holiday raffle – but I’m here now, ready to give it to you. So without further ado, here are the five things that have changed forever now that Toast is back in our community.


 
1. The community now has a healthier diet
 

 
The community already had a fairly healthy diet, don’t get me wrong but, according to the 2019 revision of Canada’s Food Guide, whole grain foods should make for around a quarter of a healthy diet. That means pasta, rice and – you guessed it – bread, should make up for around 25% of what we ingest on a daily basis. Now, I’m not suggesting we eat Toast, but I’m also not suggesting we do not eat him. Don’t read into it too much, but with @Ricer13 and Toast, we can say that the league is never going to lack whole grain foods.
 
Another quarter of the diet should be protein foods. The VHL has been blessed with a couple of them already, @MexicanCow123, @dlamb and @chikn being the first two that come to my mind. We are not that wealthy in terms of plant-based proteins like tofu or beans, which the Food Guide really pushes as the superior proteins, but it’s still a fine step in the right direction. We truly are a carnivorous bunch. With guys like McWolf, @Viperxhawks19 or @Sharkstrong roaming, I wouldn't expect any less.
 
Finally, the Food Guide suggests that the last half of the diet should consist of fruits and vegetables. Sadly, there were a couple of members with delicious fruits or vegetables names (@Banana2311, @PotatoKing among others) but none of them are active anymore. The closest we got to a fruit or vegetable-themed username at the moment is @Biggreen10 – who I always imagined was the Jolly Green Giant’s cousin or something. I might be missing someone obvious, though.
 
It looks like milk, cheese and other dairy products were dropped from the guide in this revised version. Looks like dairy isn’t considered as essential now as it was a couple years back. Sorry @Ledge_and_Dairy, it looks like we don’t need you anymore.


 
2. The league is now rich with bread crumbs
 

 
One other thing that changed forever now that Toast is back is the fact that our bread crumb stock will never get low again. They got dangerously low in the Bread Crumb Crisis of the late 50’s, when Toast sadly went on a year-long hiatus. But our inventory is now almost full, with the man of the hour being officially back and active.
 
So why are bread crumbs so important, you ask? Well, they have many uses. 
 
- Firstly, they can be used to leave trails behind us so we make sure we don’t get lost, like the title characters did in the not-so-fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel. Rumours are that this is exactly how Toast found its way back to the VHL. He woke up one day, noticed a bread crumb trail starting in his toaster and followed it back to the Player Creation page on the portal. If you ever feel like taking a break from the sim leagues, make sure to grab a handful of bread crumbs, and you’ll be sure to find your way back to us whenever you feel like it.
 
- Secondly, bread crumbs appear to be one of the most obscure cryptocurrencies. It’s not worth much at the moment, but it’s never a bad idea to start digging some from infinite sources like Toast in case it turns to gold.
 
- Lastly, but perhaps more importantly, it keeps our head pigeons satiated. For humans, bread crumbs could barely be considered a snack. There is no way anyone in this community ever satisfied their hunger by nibbling on bread crumbs. But for a common pigeon, they make a perfect meal. And it’s important to keep pigeons satisfied. I might be about to expose a fact that they would have preferred to keep secret, but most of the members on the Board of Governors – among other veterans – are in fact pigeons and most tragedies that happened in the history of the VHL can be traced back to them and their love for bread crumbs:
 
- The S58 contraction? Selfish pigeons wanted more crumbs for themselves and cut off two teams worth of pigeons to feed.
 
- Past simmers forgetting to sim games? Hungry pigeons going on strike until they are fed appropriately.
 
- The boubabiban? Deathly starved elite pigeon went on a rampaging streak and said things he may or may not regret. Like the proverb says: “You’re not you when you’re hungry, - Snickers”. This one is a bit different however, because elite pigeons feed on both bread crumbs and sim league success, but we might have been able to avoid the ban if he was satiated.
 
Looking at this, it’s easy to see how important bread crumbs are and how vital Toast is to the VHL, as a never-ending source of this invaluable resource. I’m going to go as far as say that Toast single-handedly pushes us over both the EFL and the SBA as the best sim league out there.


 
3. Bread puns are back in fashion
 

 
And this brings us to my favourite point. The one I had the most fun writing, also probably the one that’s going to be the most confusing. I don’t wanna pumpernickel my own tires, but I’m excited for you all – and especially for our star of the day – to bread this.
 
By now we know that Toast is a breadwinner. He had too much dough in his wallet and decided to refill North American Food Banks full of bread. He truly isn't loafing around. But what else do we know about the man? We know he found the league to be a bit stale about two years ago, and that's a shame because he was a member everyone knew they could crust would bake amazing players. He has seen butter days, that's for sure. But it barley matters anymore, because this short hiatus seems to have helped him find his motivation back and Toast is bready to take the league by storm like he did in the past.
 
And what about his players? He had a loaf of them.. He had some serious ones in the past. Damon Wolfe, Steven Smyl among others. His most recent efforts looked more like Burnt Toast – no bun intended – than his first couple of players, though it's starting to look like his current player is the real dough. In fact, Phoenix Dawson seems like he could be a future star. Toast has gotten back to his old ways and grained a lot of TPE to apply to his S76 draftee. GMs butter not baguette about him during the draft, else he could be a member of the London United starting next season.
 
Keep up the good work, Toast. Wheat loaf to see Dawson toast opponents for a full eight-season career. It's cereal to think that you have been around the VHL for so long. I really knead to say thank you for having been a part of our community for so long. You’re possibly one of the reasons it is still going strong – oven if you dipped for about a year. It happens to the best of us.
 
So yeah, everyone together, let’s give a big round of applause to Toast. It’s the yeast we can do.


 
4. The Church of Toast was founded and is looking for faithful
 

 
So earlier this week, one of London’s prospect, Nathan Perry (@tinafrombobsburgers) slid in my DMs and asked me if I “had a minute to talk about our lord and saviour Toast.” I didn’t understand at first what this was about, but I heard him out, and it eventually all made sense. Toast effectively founded the Church of Toast and he is looking for his faithful to spread the good word about him. You might think that I’m one of them, but I was actually independently paid to write this article, it has nothing to do with this sect and/or religion.

I’m going to be 100% honest, I don’t know if this point is a positive point, but Toast asked me to write about five things that changed forever. Creating a religion and forcing VHLers to coexist with the religion’s faithful definitely changes the landscape of the sim league, but I don’t think I’m ready to devote my life to this so-called prophet. But I’m not judging, I’m only relating the facts. Plus, this might be the kind of thing that interests my readers. For starters, if you got to point 4 out of 5 of an article dedicated to Toast, you clearly have a little something for the guy. You’re probably only a step or two away from joining the Church of Toast.


 
5. The VHL is on the rise again
 

 
The league never wanted to admit it, but Toast is one of the most important members of our community and I'm about to prove it. In fact, the activity from this single member is actually what dictates the general health of the league. When we look at expansions and contractions for example, we definitely see a pattern that is too perfect to be coincidental.
 
- The VHL started its inaugural season with 8 teams and kept these same 8 teams – excluding relocations – for over 3 decades.
 
- Toast created his first player, Damon Wolfe and entered the S28 VHL Entry Draft.
 
- Only 3 seasons later, the league expanded for the first time in its history, adding the Cologne Express and the Quebec City Meute to their roster.
 
- Toast stayed consistently active for most of the next 2 decades, but went inactive starting around S54.
 
- Only 4 seasons later, the league contracted for the only time in its history, with the Cologne Express and the Stockholm Vikings playing their final games in S57.
 
- Toast came back around ten seasons later, with his failed experiment Burnt Toast entering the S63 Entry Draft. He has been active on and off since then.
 
- His current activity coincides with the current expansion era we are in. In fact, starting in S65 with the Moscow Menace joining as the 9th franchise and culminating with four teams joining the league's ranks in S73, the league went from 8 to 16 teams in an eight-season span.
 
Again, this can't all be coincidences. I'd bet some good money that if Toast leaves again for an extended period of time, we are going to enter another dark period. So please, for the sake of the league and every member currently surviving harsh pandemic restrictions thanks to the community, never go inactive again my man.

 

S75 WJC Team World Roster
"United as One"
 

(Big thanks to @Zetterberg for the graphic)
 
Before I formally announce the roster for this season's WJC, allow me to make a statement. Have you ever wondered why? Why do you align yourself with a single nation or continent? Is it because you are proud of where you come from? Is it because that place is the only place you've ever been too? Let me ask you this. If you were able to, would you be a part of something bigger? Humanity for centuries has been divided amongst themselves. Fighting amongst one another for more often than not, arbitrary reasons. People tend to forget that, we're all living on the same planet. We're all the same. Sure you may look different, but in the end, we're all human. And this is what Team World represents. A team not united by country or by continent, but united by the World we live in. Where you come from doesn't matter when we're all united as one team, one World. So without any further delay, let me now introduce this season's Team World Roster!
 
 
 
(Feel free to listen to the video as you read this season's players)
 
Forwards:
C - Pistil Stamen @DMaximus
C - Jivere Zolnek @Sixersfan549
C - Phoenix Dawson @Toast
LW - Lenny Sanderson @Gally
RW - RJ Thatcher @jhatty8
RW - Peter Louis II @CosmicStorm
RW - Thomas King @Duddy
RW - Caitlyn Catowize @CrazyCaityCat
RW - Andy Nexber @Domino Draws
 
Defense:
D - Linus Zetterstrom @Ledge_and_Dairy
D - Chicken Wing @chikn
D - The Blob @JorgTheGoat03
D - Clinton Giftopoulos @Thranduil
 
Goalies:
G - Kunibuni UnGuri @Berocka
G - Trent Gibson @Caboose30
 
Discord Link:
 
I would wish everyone the best of luck in this tournament, but we have a gold medal to win so everyone can all go lick a frozen stop sign and eat oatmeal raisin cookies.
(Asia is partially exempt from this as leftover buddies. Still need to go lick a frozen stop sign though.)

Yay @chikn! 🥰

1. I wear number 5 because I like that number lol
2. Its always more fun when awards are involved.
3. Never miss a week to earn max TPE.
4. Chicken Wing
5. I haven't been following the real-life WJC.
6. Root beer!! But coke over pepsi. 

I really do hope everyone has a great 2021. May you all win the Kanou's you deserve.
 
@rory  @Hylands @.sniffuM @Victor @Josh @Quik @Beketov @Blazzer  @fishy @Spartan @Beaviss @Tate @CowboyinAmerica @Prout @Cornholio @rory  @gorlab @Kylrad @solas @a_Ferk @dasboot @Devise @Ricer13 @Zetterberg @OrbitingDeath  @Gooningitup @Enorama @tfong  @Renomitsu  @Spartan @efiug @GlowyGoat @frescoelmo  @GustavMattias @Berocka @Banackock @Peace @Jubis @hedgehog337 @Jubo07 @McWolf @Josh @FrostBeard @Frostbite @Dil @Esso2264 @diamond_ace  @Acydburn  @fonziGG @IamMOOSE @Tape-to-Tape @Nykonax  @Spartan @rory @WentzKneeFan036 @flyersfan1453 @Sixersfan549 @STZ @RedSus @fromtheinside @DoktorFunk @Molholt @emidas @chikn  @youloser1337 @thadthrasher @Dolant @MMFLEX @GRZ @Kendrick @Bushito
 
Be sure to tag your fellow members to give them good luck for 2021.

NEW YORK AMERICANS PRESS CONFERENCE 
Week Ending 01/03
CHICKEN WING EDITION
 
1. Which team do you think will win the s75 continental cup?
2. What do you think the New York Americans should do at the draft?
3. What are you looking forward to next season? 
4. Is there a VHL team you would never play for? 
5. What is your favorite holiday tradition? 
6. Do you have any New Years resolutions? If so, what are they?