Doomsday

What's Next For YaBoi Oven?
 

 
HELSINKI - After being selected first overall by the Helsinki Titans in the Season 90 VHL Entry Draft and immediately beginning his pro career after being called up from the VHLE, YaBoi Oven hit the ground running in his rookie season. He was the only Season 90 player to finish in the top ten of rookie scoring in the VHL, ultimately finishing fourth with 41 points. Oven led all rookie defensemen with 14 goals, and wasted no time establishing himself as a threat on the man advantage with nine power play goals. He contributed defensively with 133 shots blocked, but perhaps did not play as physically as his potential would suggest, working hard to keep his penalty minutes down, with just 42. The Titans reached the playoffs, breaking a recent drought, although they fell in the Wild Card round to the London United in five games. However, with five points in those five games, Oven looks poised to take the next step towards being an elite VHL defenseman.
 
"All things considered, I would have to say my rookie season was a huge success," said Oven following a World Cup game. "I felt like I was able to come in right away and be productive and effective in both zones, instead of just dragging the team down. I was quite happy about that, but now it's time to build on that and be more than just someone that isn't holding their team back."
 

 
Oven has kept busy over the off-season, being named to Team Eastern Europe's roster for both the World Junior Championship and the VHL World Cup, where he contributed to medal-winning efforts in both tournaments. He scored ten points in ten round robin games, with three power play goals, and also scored a goal in the gold medal-winning game, the second straight season Eastern Europe has won WJC gold. On the world stage at the World Cup, Oven scored four points, including two more power play goals, in a successful tournament which resulted in a silver medal for Oven and Eastern Europe. Throughout both tournaments, it was evident that YaBoi Oven is a considerable threat on the man advantage, something Helsinki certainly hopes will continue in Season 91.
 
The Titans added a major veteran presence on the blue line with longtime Vancouver Wolves defenseman Pierre Emile Bouchard, who will spend the twilight of his career with Helsinki. A former Sterling Labatte Trophy winner and a Continental Cup champion, Bouchard has also been a menace on the power play, with 59 career tallies on the man advantage. He's a proven weapon in both ends of the ice, and an ideal candidate to use in virtually any situation. Bouchard, as it turns out, is the absolute perfect person to mentor a young core of defensemen that has less VHL experience than he does alone, and has embraced the idea of taking them under his wing.
 

 
"We love Pierre here," Oven reiterated during Helsinki's training camp. "With Hammar Voss retiring, we knew we needed a veteran presence and top guy back there with us, and Sam really delivered with bringing Bouchard here to Helsinki. It has been a short time, but I feel like he's already making all of us better, and learning under a proven winner who has excelled in the ways you want to do yourself is the best scenario I could have possibly asked for."
 
If Season 90 was about proving that YaBoi Oven belonged in the VHL, then Season 91 will be about proving that he has what it takes to be great, to be an elite player capable of building a franchise around. The promise has shown, his ability has been showcased on the national stage, and his potential is only just beginning to be realized. If the Helsinki Titans want to take the next step towards winning the Continental Cup, they will need Oven to continue to improve and deliver on his lofty expectations.
 
Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, the premium purveyor of simulation sports news. He enjoys massively discounted candy, scouring antique stores, and not being sick.

Sparks, WEU Defense Stymie World To Take Bronze

 
REYKJAVIK, ICELAND - After a whirlwind opening to the first period of the Bronze Medal Game between Western Europe and Team World, fans were instead treated to a masterclass of defense and goaltending, with the 2-1 advantage Western Europe held after the first period holding as the final score and winners of the bronze medal at the Season 90 VHL World Cup. Despite finishing at the bottom of the pack following the Round Robin, Western Europe played stellar hockey afterwards, stunning Team USA in the quarter finals to earn themselves a shot at a medal.
 
Western Europe's defense stymied Team World throughout the game, never allowing more than five shots in a period, with World's only tally coming on a power play goal by Mo Probert late in the first period. Both of Western Europe's goals, scored by The Frenchman and Perry Laperriere, came in the first ten minutes of the game, with Leandro Goncalves assisting on both goals. Despite the two goal lead being cut to one by the end of the first period, they had generated all the offense they would ultimately need, with Ash Sparks shutting the door with the help of stellar defense, including four blocked shots from Malum Maellard and another three blocks from Moritz Stauffer.
 
Despite looking strong at times, Team World ultimately leaves Iceland empty-handed and searching for answers heading into Season 92's World Cup, while Western Europe will enjoy their stunning turnaround from the Round Robin and look to build upon their success in the next tournament.

1. My expectations is to improve defensively. While I had a big jump in year two in Mexico City. I've always had a negative plus/minus but put up good offensive numbers. I'd like to become the two-way player my teammates expect me to be.
 
2. I think the playoff drought is ending this year. I'm confident in the returning players and the new ones coming in. This is our year!
 
3. This is always a tough question. We've got a good group of guys and it can go many ways but I'm going with rookie Ironhide. 
 
4. The ideal job is likely different based on the individual. I'd say assistant GM for myself while you don't bare all the weight but can still contribute to a well rounded organization.
 
5. Unfortunately, fighting is leaving hockey but it is incredibly important. It keeps players honest and would result in less injuries. Especially to the stars since people would avoid them knowing that you'd get the best down.
 
6. True Neutral. Not an exciting answer though.

1. Oooh, super fancy! *applause*
 
2. Getting Bouchard was a big boost for adding veteran experience at the blue line, should be a move that pays dividends for Helsinki and Fuuka Rask in particular. 
 
3. It's all about engagement. Be knowledgeable, be entertaining, and minimize dead air.
 
4. I have not been teammates with @FrostBeard to my knowledge, so I'm really looking forward to that when he joins our pro roster next season!
 
5. I don't even know where you live, my brother in Christ.
 
6. It's gotta be Dracula, especially when you factor in his prominent role in the Castlevania franchise. 

1. Oooh, super fancy! *applause*
 
2. Getting Bouchard was a big boost for adding veteran experience at the blue line, should be a move that pays dividends for Helsinki and Fuuka Rask in particular. 
 
3. It's all about engagement. Be knowledgeable, be entertaining, and minimize dead air.
 
4. I have not been teammates with @FrostBeard to my knowledge, so I'm really looking forward to that when he joins our pro roster next season!
 
5. I don't even know where you live, my brother in Christ.
 
6. It's gotta be Dracula, especially when you factor in his prominent role in the Castlevania franchise. 

@jRuutu rejoicing with the rainbow colors gone now.

This is the kind of journalism and content the VHL needs.

MALMO, October 23, 2023 (Shaiba.ru) – The VHL, a league that is never short of drama, is once again being forced to draw sides following an explosive outburst between Russian forward Yaroslav Bogatyrev and the Seattle Bears management.
 
Tensions rose over the past two weeks, after the Bears desperately attempted to shop Bogatyrev’s rights to any and all comers in order to get some sort of return for their star forward, who said that he was going to go to free agency following Seattle’s mediocre season that saw them fall short in the N.A. Conference Wild Card.
 
In a public post made on Sunday, the Bears management accused Bogatyrev of responding “to no one for days” and then coming out with “sassy little articles” discussing the current state of affairs. Most notably, the Bears management slammed Bogatyrev, saying that “they never turned into the star they should have became when Seattle drafted them.”
 
Shaiba.ru previously spoke with Bogatyrev’s agent, Oleg Markov, who criticized Seattle management for pressurizing his client to accept a sign and trade, despite the Nizhnii Tagil forward consistently saying that he wanted to go to free agency, to get all offers on the table before making a decision.
 
Ironically, Yaroslav Bogatyrev on Monday signed with the Malmo Nighthawks as a free agent, and Oleg Markov told Shaiba.ru that the Swedish side was actually one of the teams that pushed hardest for the Russian forward’s rights. According to insider sources, the Nighthawks made a strong offer for Bogatyrev’s rights, but the way things turned out (with Bogatyrev’s trade to HC Davos Dynamo voided over tricky terms), Seattle are in fact left with nothing for their former star forward.
 
After a period of silence, Shaiba.ru received a written comment from Bogatyrev on Monday addressing both his signature with the Malmo Nighthawks, as well as the comments from the Seattle Bears management.
 
“Firstly, I want to start with the good news. I’m delighted to have signed with the Malmo Nighthawks and I’m looking forward to joining up with the team and hopefully competing for a Continental Cup. I’ve found the team’s management to be highly constructive, and fostering a strong locker room atmosphere. It will be great to finally enjoy a positive locker room in the VHL.
 
Moving onto the comments from the team’s management. I can understand their frustration. Seattle have always been known as a team that shows little loyalty to their players. The management always tries to move players out as soon as they start making over a certain salary, and there’s no ceremony about it. Despite being fully committed to the Bears, I learned that Seattle were shopping me at one point, and to learn of this disloyalty was highly disappointing to me.
 
At the end of the day, why should I bend and sign away my free agent rights, just because you want to earn a draft pick off of me? I have zero vested interest in doing of anything that benefits Seattle if I’m leaving the team, and all correspondence should have gone through my agent, rather than directly to me.
 
As the second top goal scorer in the entire VHL last season, I find it interesting why the management is accusing me of not becoming a star. I frankly think that the Bears management need to take a closer look at themselves, understand the reasoning as to why the team failed to win a cup (after throwing away a 3-1 Continental Cup final lead), and the failure last season to generate any form of offense.
 
I find it unbecoming to make your frustrations known so publicly and then to go on the assault against former players. It’s a sign of poor character, and I would hope that someone close to the Seattle management in order to ensure that something like this doesn’t happen again, and remind them that they are an adult and that they should not act like a child throwing their toys out of the pram.
 
In short, my statement can be distilled down to the following -- don’t blame me for your failure to build a coherent team, and not expect any loyalty from me, when you have not shown loyalty to others.”
 
After Shaiba.ru received Bogatyrev’s statement, we contacted the Russian forward’s agent, Oleg Markov, to get his comment on the state of affairs. Over the phone, Markov said that he was delighted with his client’s agreement with the Malmo Nighthawks, and also went on the offensive against the public statement of Seattle’s management.
 
“Malmo have been fantastic throughout the entire process. From start to finish, our negotiations in the free agent period were solid, and they provided a strong value proposition that will give my client what he was seeking when he made the announcement that he would be going to free agency.
 
Additionally, unlike Seattle, they showed no hard feelings when they were informed that my client would not consent to a sign and trade, and also put no pressure on my client throughout the free agency process when several days were asked to make a decision. In short, they acted as a general manager should.
 
That being said, my client still wishes to express his gratitude to many people in Seattle for their help, assistance, and positive emotions throughout my client’s five seasons in the Pacific Northwest. The team failed to meet its goals, but my client gave his all to the team since S86, and he received a lot back from the team.
 
My client is now currently in the midst of a rigorous preseason schedule, and he is confident of coming into the season in the best form he’s been in in his career to date. He is delighted to be returning to Europe in order to be closer to friends and family, and we are confident that the Nighthawks are going to be one of the contending teams in the European Conference next season, and there are few teams that can match the team’s talent level.”

Graphic courtesy of Leandrofg
 
A lot has happened in the VHL/E/M universe since we last wrote about our protagonist. Cal-Gary is playing for the Rush, which recovered after an abysmal start and snatched the first seed of their conference, securing a playoff spot. Callum confirmed his reputation as a defensive behemoth and lead the league in hits and is amongst the top ten in assists, shots blocked and take aways. 
He is also competing in the WJC, this time for the European team under GM Otis Boudreaux. In this team though he has a more defensive role as Polish prodigy Dudzinska and S90 first overall pick Oven are the more offensive minded backs in that roster. The Calgary native is tied-second amongst the top hitters of the tournament and in the top ten in the blocked shots department. Europe is sitting at the 2nd seed at the moment, behind a surprisingly strong Team Asia, with still some hockey left to play.
 
As thrilling as all of the above is, the real excitment came at draft day. According to most of the pundits, there was only one place CGY could land, and that would be at first overall. This pick belonged to the New York Americans who are amidst a rebuild and want to finally get a cup after a 37 season draught. If Thadius Sales would not commit to Janser, the latter would almost certainly fall to Moscow, who had three of the top five picks in the S91 draft. Alas, Euron Leonidas was licking his lips in vain, as the New York General Manager pulled the trigger as soon as the draft opened and announced: 'With the first pick of the S91 draft, the New York Americans proudly select from the Saskatoon Wild, defence man Callum Gary Yannick Janser.' 
 

Graphic courtesy of Jason Kranz
 
The young Swiss wasted no time and jogged to the podium for the traditional shake hands and photoshoot. Later on he would answer the questions of all the news outlet present at the draft. One of which is our trusty Jean-Luc Lieuxperroux.
 
JLL: 'Congratulations, Callum. First overall pick in the entry draft. According to my research the first Swiss since the legendary Scotty Campbell to do so. You must be thrilled, surely?'
CGY: 'Yes I am indeed and don't call me Shirley. Jokes aside, I hope no-one expects me to pee in a phial tonight, as my endorphine levels must be off the charts. I mean, I expected a top five spot with all the scouting reports I read and the interviews I conducted, but it is still unreal to me that I went first overall.'
JLL: 'Will the Americans call you up for the next season, as they are in desperate need of defencemen?'
CGY: 'Thadius and I agreed that it would be in everybody's best interest if I went to Europe for one season to hone my skills. New York is going through a rebuild and there is no benefit to prematurely bring in talent, which may not be ready to compete on this level yet.'
JLL: 'In New York you will be reunited with your fellow Wild, Rin Kagamine. Any thoughts on that?'
CGY: 'It's certainly cool to already know someone when you come into a new locker room. I think we gelled pretty well in Saskatoon, especially during the playoffs when we were the only experienced defenders to hold down the fort. As far as I know, they will be going to Europe for one season as well. It would be cool to be in the same team in the VHLE as well, but that would be a bit too much asked for. We are not called Dixon/Grimes or McGryer/Anand after all.'
JLL: 'So what are your plans for the immediate future?'
CGY: 'Well, first I will finish the JST and the WJC and hope to win both. Then I will fly over to Europe to whatever franchise picks me up in the incoming draft. Meanwhile, I will look for a place to live in the big apple. Ideally not all too far off from Madison Square Garden, where we will play our home games. I hear traffic is quite annoying in NYC and if at all possible I would like to avoid it. Maybe people will see me ride the subway when I go to practice.'
JLL: 'We understand that you were also in contact with Kris Rice of the Wranglers. How did that go?'
CGY: 'We did chat, and it is well known that I would have also liked to join the franchise my dad had so much success with. But given the circumstances, it was highly unlikely for him to find trades to move up in the draft, without risking the future of the franchise. I understand that and it is just what life sometimes is.'
JLL: 'Your family seems to have a habit to fall to Original Eight teams. Your dad and uncle both were picked by the Wranglers back in S81. And now you are going to join the Americans who co-founded the league under the Hamilton Canucks and then rebranded/relocated in S7.'
CGY: 'It is indeed uncanny how that played out. But this is all in the past. I will focus on the present and improve further to prepare for the future. I am determined to put the Americans on track for a long overdue cup win.'
JLL: 'That is all I had for today, thanks and good luck.'
CGY: 'Thanks for having me.'
 
Here are Janser's stats for the JST:
30gp, 5g, 24a, 29pts, -5, 39 PIM, 118 hits, 57sb, 2ppg, 1gwg, 1 First Star distinction
 
And here for the WJC:
6gp, 1g, 2a, 3pts, -4, 8 PIM, 22 hits, 17sb
 
We will revert on the young Swiss' career as soon as we have news to report.
 
Edit: In the interim, the VHLE draft took place and CGY Janser was selected at first overall by the Oslo Storm. Interestingly this is also a franchise with a connection with the Janser family. Daniel played two-third of a season and was for a while part of arguably the best center-winger combo in the history of the VHLE with Chinese Boulet winner Yun Chiang.
 
https://vhlforum.com/topic/140500-how-we-snub-not-only-one-player-but-a-whole-class-theme-week/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/140747-cgy-janser-clearing-the-gutter/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/140772-the-cgy-janser-story-part-iv-almost-crunch-time/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/141062-the-cgy-janser-story-part-v-regular-season-is-done/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/141275-cgy-janser-sent-packing/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/141054-let-the-gloves-hit-the-ice/
https://vhlforum.com/topic/141334-the-cgy-janser-story-part-vi-between-two-seasons/
 
 1033 words

An Apology
 
Hello everyone, as you may know by now I have returned from being IA. If you haven't caught it in Discord, I went IA due to the absolutely insane pressure/time commitment work had put on me. I was working 11 hour days as a software engineer and by the time I was done, all I wanted to do was turn off my brain and try to get some semblance of relaxation. Unfortunately, my hours recently have only partially improved. I do not have it in me to do PTs anymore, and probably won't for the foreseeable future.
 
All that being said, I owe some people apologies. I went completely awol and had multiple people reaching out to me. It sounds stupid, but I was so exhausted that the thought of explaining what I was going through was too much for me. By the time I worked up the energy to explain it, it had been days/weeks since I had received messages, and I felt too guilty to respond. I'd like to apologize to both @Enorama, @thadthrasher, and @Doomsday for abandoning my team in the E. I really tried to make it work, and I know I put you guys in a terrible situation. I'd also like to extend my sincerest apologies to @FrostBeard. Of all times for me to come back, this seemed like the cruelest. I had absolutely no idea I had been traded to Moscow, I had just seen a lot of @Spartan tagging people for what seemed like sims, so I thought I'd make a joke. He then reached out and told me what had happened. I told him I'd at least try to be a clicker. Realistically, I can probably be depended on to click, do trivia, and do pressers. This literally might be the only VHL.com article I write who knows.
 
I probably owe more apologies to you all then just those three, but I felt that I needed to say something. You have all been really supportive of my return and that means a lot to me. 
 
Love you guys and this community ❤️ 

@jRuutu rejoicing with the rainbow colors gone now.

Jersey retirements are the best, congratulations @FrostBeard!!

It's not every day, that you get to do something special for a friend in the league, however this moment for me, has been a few seasons in the making. To give a bit of backstory here, I've had the absolute pleasure of knowing said member for many, many years now. We've played alongside one another as teammates several times, and even had the honour of GMing against one another at every level of the game (M, E and VHL). When I became LA GM in S83 (crazy it's already been 7 seasons...), I never knew I'd have the opportunity to obtain my good friend, and go on some awesome playoff runs with them, however in S85 after a short rebuild, I got my chance. The trade that I made was critizied as an overpayment at the time, however there was never a regret in my mind and that doubt further left my head in S87 when he would go on to win both MVP and the goals scoring title, cementing his legacy in LA. 
 
With 5 seasons played for the club, and 360 games played, this player catapulted into the top 5 for total points and lead the team as captain for several seasons before his retirement. It is with great honour, and pleasure that I present to you today, our latest jersey retirement. 
 
 

🇪🇺 Team Europe Roster  🇪🇺
Forwards
Maxsim Anisimov
Raimo Tuominen
BjorkaBjorn BjornaBjorkson
Catia Gonclaves
Jarmo Ruutu
Otis Boudreaux, Jr
Ronald Johnson MacWallace III
Tullermore Dew
David Rashford
 
Defenders
Yaboi Oven
Obuz Schneider
Eurydyka Sklodowska Dudzinska
Callum Gary Yannick Janser
 
Goalies
Karl Herzlich
Clark 
 
 

You did great Jason, thank you for all of your hard work!

You did great Jason, thank you for all of your hard work!

Unfortunate that this had to happen, but establishing a precedent was absolutely necessary. 

Hi everyone! With S90 coming to a close it signals the end of an era in Davos. When I think about it S82 was a very long time ago, and it's been a blast! Since then there has been one player who has been a fixture in the Davos lineup and was my first ever draft pick, a pick that was acquired by trading away the one and only poopy peepants @JardyB10. With that I am pleased to announce the retirement of James Teekirque's @Mongoose87 jersey number!

The 12th overall pick in S82, James Teekirque quickly made the Davos roster appearing in their first game the following season. While S83 was a rough one in Davos as the tank was on, Teekirque remained optimistic and embodied what it means to play for Davos! Since then Teekirque went onto have a very strong career as they would finish with 245 goals and 330 assists for a total of 575 points in 576 games! Those totals put Teekirque 5th all-time in Davos scoring, 5th in goals, and 7th in assists! Additionally, Teekirque was unstoppable in the playoffs as they would score 42 goals and 48 assists for exactly 100 points in 92 career playoff games, the most goals in Davos playoff history and the 2nd most points! Teekirque played a vital role in the S89 Continental Cup win and was nominated for the Kanou for his efforts. Lastly, while they didn't always have a letter on their jersey, Teekirque was a vital member of the leadership group in Davos, and their presence on the ice will surely be missed. Thank you for everything!

Need more vaguely worded punishment announcements going forward, it gets the forum going.

Unfortunate that this had to happen, but establishing a precedent was absolutely necessary. 

It's weird to be pulling this one out but here we are. This rule has been in place for a number of seasons now and despite it being brought up to us a lot since it's creation (like literally any time a team starts a CPU 9 times...) I don't know if we've handed out a punishment for it since it's creation.
 
However we do expect our GM's to do their jobs and follow the rules and we can't be constantly making excuses for them not doing so. Obviously life happens and sometimes you have an extra bot start or two but we saw some cases this year that we just need to address.
 
For that reason, the draft lottery odds are being adjusted as a form of punishment for Warsaw ( @N0HBDY ) who played their bot goalie 8 extra times and Calgary ( @Ricer13 ) who played their bot goalie 3 extra times. In order to keep things fair to the other teams in the lottery (and not give an advantage to some over the others) we have decided that Warsaw will lose 15% odds of first overall pick and Calgary will lose 5%. This 20% will then be re-distributed as 5% each to the remaining teams in the lottery. That means the lottery odds this season are as follows:
 
1. New York - 25.0%
2. Moscow - 20.0%
3. Malmo - 17.5%
4. Chicago - 15.0%
5. Calgary - 12.5%
6. Warsaw - 10.0%
 
It is the hope of the league that this will be a one time occurrence and that it was simply a mistake on the part of the GM's rather than malicious tanking and no further adjustments to the rules will be made at this time so please don't prove us wrong and have to make this a seasonal thing that we punish more harshly.
 
- @Commissioner

Hello fans, haters and those bored enough to read this letter on Twitter,

I have opened my notes app today (Please check the link in my bio to get an exclusive deal on a new Iphone 23XL Super Pro Limited VHL Edition 4.8TB, while supplies last, please contact your local Apple Orchard for more details) to tell you all about my plans for the coming season. Fear not (or perhaps fear, if you’re into that), I will not be retiring this offseason. I will be coming back for more, and stronger than ever next season. I have been fighting some nagging injuries over the last few seasons, and thanks to the hard work of the folks in the London United organization, I have had an extra long offseason to heal, rejuvenate and train my body to grow even beyond my previous 99 point heights.
 
But, I know that this is the beginning of the end. The deals I have struck with Simon are coming to a close, and after one more demon-infused season, I will be forced to return my soul, which is owed to Lord Simon himself, with imminence. I am afraid that I will soon be no more than a husk of meat and bones. This is the cost of becoming a VHL player, and each player must weigh the value of their soul accordingly. Some get the good end of the deal. They work hard and get just enough attention from their patron to make it to the Hall of Fame, where they are allowed to live alongside their soul and one loved one in the glory of their success and Simon’s goodwill forever. Everyone else must forfeit their soul to the dark overlord and return to the world, a mindless prophet, seeking new and impressionable children to indoctrinate into their blood cult.
 
I can feel my mind tugging me towards a young child. Please keep this in context, I promise I’m not weird, I’m just in a cult. I cannot find them, as if they were in the Latvian 3rd tier league or something. They are completely shrouded in ice dust, and play in a flurry of incomprehensible motion. At the conclusion of S91, my time is up and I must venture forth into the world to find my charge. It will likely take me a few weeks to find and induct them, but soon there will be another loyal servant among us (sus?).
 
I have narrowed down my search a small amount, as I imagine that I am looking for a defender. But something tells me that this isn’t just one defender, but perhaps 2. Or maybe just one particularly large one. I can’t really tell. I feel as though I will need the help of a trusty feline companion to fully uncover this mystery. If anyone knows of a particularly talented hockey cat that I can align my goals with, please contact me in my Instagram DMs, or Saturdays  on Snapchat from 1:00 am to 1:37 am, excluding 1:11 to 1:23 am as that is my designated levitation and sleep paralysis time.


Love,

Landon Wolanin

1. I haven't heard any rumors... all I know is that what's supposed to be two weeks will feel like two months.
 
2. USA! USA!! USA!!
 
3. None of them selected me, so they will all lose. The fact that I probably wasn't eligible is entirely irrelevant.
 
 
1. Which team had the most shocking exit from the VHL Playoffs?
 
2. Why are the New York Americans so cursed?
 
3. What is your favorite Chuck Norris fact?