Life moves pretty fast...

[bigAL 2,176]

If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it.

 

TLDR:

Spoiler

In the last year I packed up and moved home, bought a house, figured my shit out, broke up with my long term partner, sold the house, and now I'm moving to Hungary next month.

 

Well, if 2020 has taught us anything (and we are still in 2020), it's that time is precious, finite, and we can't ever get it back. We lost a year of two of our lives to this covid shit. I was never 26 or 27. I'm sure some people had it worse than others, and some didn't mind the whole 'forced to stay inside' thing, but our old way of life is gone. Even as vaccines roll out and the world begins to open up, the world we live in is and will be fundamentally different.

 

And I should know, my life is very, very different than when I joined in March 2020.

 

I know a few close friends on here are in the loop, but I wanted to share my story with everyone just to be open, share my life with the people who mean a lot to me, and not have to repeat it over and over again in discord.

 

I joined here at the start of the Forever March Break. Schools shut down after the break and didn't come back until September (or even later, I've been teaching online for 16 months now). At the time, I was living in southern Ontario with my partner of six or seven years. We'd lived together forever, and we had accepted (and ugh, covid, cancelled) jobs to teach in Cambodia for 2020-21. We'd planned (and ugh, covid, cancelled) a wedding in Iceland too. We had a whole forever planned out together.

 

However, my philosophy about planning is "Have a five-year plan, and be comfortable changing it every six months."

 

Southern Ontario, our home for the last ten years, was getting pretty scary pandemic wise. We both caught covid in February after a sold-out OHL game on a long weekend, but before covid was a thing in Ontario. It fucking sucked. I cannot describe to you how awful it was. I had never, ever been so sick. We took turns being fevered and delirious for two weeks. I'm a fit, athletic guy who likes to run, and I was winded moving from the couch to the bathroom. There was a boulder sitting on my chest that made it near impossible to take a deep breath. And, we were pretty alone. All our friends had graduated and moved on, while I stayed in uni for an eternity and stayed put. Her family was three hours away, mine was seven. Bless their hearts, my Chinese bosses meant well, but the care package they brought us was two bags of clementines and a Costco box of Oreos. We had a friend drop off groceries, but that was kind of it. I was genuinely worried about one of us dying in the house and the other not being able to get help or do anything because we were so sick. That was a bit of an eye opener, to say the least.

 

In the summer, we took a trip up to my folk's place for a month. They live in a little town a few hours north of Ottawa on the Ontario/Quebec border. Classic small town Canada: rural, conservative, a bit rough around the edges, no one ever leaves, and they all follow "the script". The script is the life path that everyone who stays at home forever follows: high school sweetheart, a bit of college or uni in the big city next door, buy a truck, get a puppy, buy a house, get married, have kids, get a job you don't really care about so you can fund your fishing and hunting and ATVing on the weekends. There is nothing wrong with that life, and lots of people I know on that path are incredibly happy and satisfied with their life. Following the script is just not for me. I swim upstream, zig when the crowd zags, and just generally live a life they don't always understand. I was one of the very few from my high school class to go truly 'away' for school. A mentor used to say that we lived in a "lefty liberal CBC bubble", and my experiences in rural Ontario confirmed that life in the Arts & Culture scene in Niagara Falls was not the same as life outside of the city.

 

So when we decided to move back home to be closer to family, to walk into guaranteed fulltime jobs, to buy a house, it was a really tough choice. My partner was super naive to life outside of the bubble, and had a hard time adjusting to some of the, uhhhh, not PC she'd hear her coworkers say (and fair enough: her educational assistant, who works with kids with special needs all day, refers to them outside of work as r-d's, as just one example). People didn't take covid too seriously here: that's a Toronto problem, we don't have that here (funny, some here say the same thing about "the gays" and "diversity"). Owning a house is fucking hard, especially when we were landlords to the family who rented out our basement apartment. Winter is longer, colder, darker than we were used to in tropical Niagara. Teaching is an extremely demanding job, and we were both doing it fulltime for the first time in a long time (or ever, for her). It was a very tough transition for both of us.

 

While these stresses starting piling up, I was putting some serious work into my wellbeing. Everyone had a pandemic project, and mine was me. I got a new therapist and worked a whole lot of shit out. I learned all about self-compassion, what the hippy dippy "learn to love yourself" bs actually mean (turns out it's not bs), and started to identify and prioritize my own needs and wants ahead of others. Turns out I had an undiagnosed mental illness that had been causing some issues in my life for a while, and I worked with a doc to get medicated and stable for the first time ever. I had my shit figured out, and was happy and proud of myself. For the most part.

 

Those two opposing forces - an incalculable amount of change and stress, and me figuring out my mental and emotional wellbeing - came to a head around Easter. A pipe broke in our basement and flooded it. I handled the situation extremely well, but she didn't agree. I was proud of being cool, calm, collected, sourcing a shopvac and getting the water out of there immediately. She was livid I didn't communicate a plan to her (uh, I was winging it and making it up on the fly...) I was learning to trust myself, believe in myself, and to not let others determine my value and self-worth. She was so mad (and so wrong) that I left and didn't come back. I spent three days at my parents, journalling, sorting through what had happened now and over the last many years, and overall applying the lessons learned to a real life case study. I didn't like what I learned. But because I had always put others needs ahead of my own, I hadn't ever let myself examine my relationship with a critical lens, or to even consider breaking up. It wasn't an option. Now, it was. It was a hard choice because she is a great person, kind and caring, we had a lot of wonderful history together, but somewhere along the line we changed to the point that we just weren't compatible anymore. Our needs and wants didn't align, and we couldn't give each other what we needed. I was pretty proud of myself for making such a difficult decision and putting myself first, but it doesn't make it less sad. Boom, that whole life we had planned was gone. Oh well, shit happens... 

 

Suddenly freed from all responsibilities to others (except dealing with the house we bought together six months ago, ugh), I had time and space to really reevaluate my life. I realized that yeah, small town Ontario wasn't the place for me, and started looking elsewhere. I was so close to going abroad before the pandemic that I wanted to revisit that. I have my ESL certification and had spent a summer teaching in China. Covid is nearing the end, I'll be double vaccinated soon, and the only thing tying me to Canada is a few hundred dollars of monthly student debt bills. My mom was very adamant that I shouldn't go abroad if I was "running away from my problems", but I'm so happy and proud of who I am now that I'm running towards opportunities to be the best me somewhere else.

 

I spent an afternoon cold-calling every international school I could find in every country I thought was kinda neat. I imagined living in South America, and South East Asia, and Eastern Europe. I threw out probably a hundred emails with my cover letter and resume, and sat back and waited to see who came calling. Turns out, lots and lots and lots of schools want native English speakers with a real teaching degree. In the first week, I got calls from Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, and Hungary. I interviewed and started to move forward with them. Two weeks later, I was flooded with responses from Prague, Warsaw, Trinidad, Vietnam, Equador, Bangkok. I'm a big fan of the developing, second world, clearly. 

 

Today, I accepted a job offer from a school in:

Spoiler

Budapest!

 

I am fucking pumped. Most international teaching jobs are at international schools: essentially, little American or British bubbles inside a foreign country more or less removed from the local culture. That kind of colonial, 'check your culture at the door and come become American' mindset doesn't quite jive with my lefty liberal CBC bubble values. I'll be working for a program that sends English speaking teachers into actual Hungarian public schools. I've never heard of the "family model" of bilingualism: there'll be two "parents" (teachers) in the classroom at the same time, one speaking Hungarian and one speaking English, flipping back and forth throughout the class. I'll be teaching some sort of history/social studies stuff in English, which is totally my jam. I had to haggle a raise because the salary would let me live like a king in Hungary, but wouldn't cover my debts back in the homeland. In exchange for extra pay, they gave me extra chores: I have to create field trip guides for students to visit museums on field trips. As a past museum curator, I am fucking pumped. Best additional duties ever. 

 

It wasn't the highest paying job. Costa Rica wanted to give me an obscene amount of USD to be a vice principal and teach classes about socio-emotional learning, which, given my own learning over the last year, was right up my alley. It was very hard to turn that job down. But, I've never been to Europe. I'm too adventurous to live that 'chill by the beach' Caribbean lifestyle. I'm so excited to explore a thousands year old city. I can't wait to hop on a train and be anywhere in Europe in hours. Hungary is such a fascinating place, straddling so many different worlds. It's in the European Union, but doesn't use the Euro. It was in the Soviet Warsaw Pact, but was the first one to try (and almost succeed) to oust the commies. The language is near impossible to learn, and it can be fun to try to navigate a language barrier (my Hungarian is as good as my Chinese, and I survived there).

 

I'm not leaving the VHL. You can't get rid of me that easily. I fully expect to still be a max earner and an active part of the community. I'm so happy to be here, love all the cool people I've met, and am really proud of the neat things we've done in the last year and a half. I've got Boulets to win. I've got carryover TPE to spend. I've got the WJC and the BOG and the DCD and so many acronyms. I've got a title to defend in the Degenerate Dynasty League. I'll finally get to partake in degen hours (rip degen hours). I'll lobby hard for that VHLE Budapest team. And, clearly, you can still be a leader in the community all the way from Budapest. For a fee, I'll even deliver a pie to the face of Juice for you!

 

So, this could be oversharing. TMI. Shut up and play spreadsheet hockey. Everyone irl is jealous, and I don't want to come off as braggy. I'm just going through some changes that affect both irlAL and bigAL. I think it's important to know who, really who, you're talking to online, and this is who I am and who I'm gonna be for a few years.

 

Hi 

 

 

Edited June 8, 2021 by bigAL

[dlamb 1,326]

Good luck in Budapest, Al! Great read about some insight to the man behind the screen, I'm glad that you've always found a way to come up stronger when at your lows. 

 

Too bad we never got to grab a beer when you were down here, maybe one day.

 

Shut up and play spreadsheet hockey.  

[bigAL 2,176]

2 minutes ago, dlamb said:

Too bad we never got to grab a beer when you were down here, maybe one day.

Of all the things the lockdowns robbed the world of, the worst was an ALamb Welland collab. Cheers buddy, someday. There's lots of life ahead of us yet!

[mattyIceman 1,214]

Make choices and don't look back.

 

Smart guy, keep going!

[Banackock 8,049]

“high school sweetheart, a bit of college or uni in the big city next door, buy a truck, get a puppy, buy a house, get married, have kids, get a job you don't really care about so you can fund your fishing and hunting and ATVing on the weekends. ”

bud just ripped on 90% of Alberta in one big ole sentence lmao. 
 

Good luck with the new change etc.

 

[Gustav 6,415]

Obligatory @Juice mention.

 

This is wild. You've been through a lot and I can respect that--good on you for following your dreams.

[bigAL 2,176]

38 minutes ago, Banackock said:

bud just ripped on 90% of Alberta in one big ole sentence lmao. 

Fuckin rights bahd. Ha no ripping, it’s just the way she goes. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t go. That’s the way she’s goes. And I’m goin!

[bigAL 2,176]

2 minutes ago, GustavMattias said:

Obligatory @Juice mention.

 

This is wild. You've been through a lot and I can respect that--good on you for following your dreams.

I’m so bad at remembering to tag, thanks coach. 
 

It was all your deep introspective and reflective pieces that regularly proves this is a cool place to tell these kind of stories. Thanks Gus, I appreciate it. 

[Juice 641]

13 minutes ago, GustavMattias said:

Obligatory @Juice mention.

 

This is wild. You've been through a lot and I can respect that--good on you for following your dreams.

 

@bigAL, we talked a bunch in prep about Budapest as well as your situation, but to read it out when it's all done is a sight to behold. You have a wild story, but I can fully respect your decision to make the best thing for yourself and to make yourself truly happy. Everyone takes different strides to get to where they need and want to be, and reading your excitement build when talking about your soon to be future makes me excited for you!

 

Best of luck, and I'll meet you at the airport

[hylands 845]

hopefully we can see a little more of you during gaming nights!!

 

congrats buddy, super happy to hear about all of the positive changes in your life

[Doomsday 4,130]

2 hours ago, bigAL said:

her educational assistant, who works with kids with special needs all day, refers to them outside of work as r-d's

 

As an educational assistant in the same field, this absolutely mortifies me. I cannot imagine someone who thinks that of those children being entrusted with their care. 

 

Love ya Al, you've got life by the horns and nothing is gonna get in your way!!

[MexicanCow123 914]

Wow what a story Al. Super glad you shared that with me. It was very encouraging and I really really enjoyed it. Goodluck with your future buddy I'm super pumped for you. 

[Hex Universe 253]

Holy hell dude what a year for ya

 

I hope the new chapter in your life will be one of the best and most memorable!

 

Also, how much for that "deliver a pie to the face of Juice" thing? 

[bigAL 2,176]

52 minutes ago, hylands said:

hopefully we can see a little more of you during gaming nights!!

 

congrats buddy, super happy to hear about all of the positive changes in your life

Ha thanks buddy, believe it or not my current computer is eeeeven worse than the old one. I probably couldn’t get to the ninth hole in golf!

[bigAL 2,176]

44 minutes ago, Doomsday said:

As an educational assistant in the same field, this absolutely mortifies me. I cannot imagine someone who thinks that of those children being entrusted with their care

Right?!?! This lady was more than rough around the edges. She ended up quitting when they asked her to work with a kid who needed more personal care support, so there’s a happy ending to the story? Gross. 

[Prout 373]

Best of luck AL!! I know we spoke about it in and shit but seeing your going for it I’m super happy for ya!! Best of luck in your new adventures and be safe and healthy as well!! You’ll do great my friend cheers buddy!! 

[v.2 1,406]

Yo if you ever want to teach in Doha, Qatar let me know, I will set up an interview for you.  The Canadian school there is always looking for teachers to bring over.   My mom has been there for the past 3 years and is the Head of School.  I visited in 2016, such a cool spot!   Would love to go back next year for the Fifa World Cup.

Edited June 9, 2021 by v.2

[McWolf 3,115]

7 hours ago, bigAL said:

I've got a title to defend in the Degenerate Dynasty League

you're going DOWN

 

Gratz on the job though. Sometimes I forget we all got a life outside of the VHL.  It's weird

[Enorama 2,038]

I'm onboard for the Al/Juice ship

[a_Ferk 766]

2 hours ago, v.2 said:

Yo if you ever want to teach in Doha, Qatar let me know, I will set up an interview for you.  The Canadian school there is always looking for teachers to bring over.   My mom has been there for the past 3 years and is the Head of School.  I visited in 2016, such a cool spot!   Would love to go back next year for the Fifa World Cup.

I am very interested to see how that World Cup plays out. I wouldn't want to play an outdoor sport in Qatar, that's for damn sure.

[bigAL 2,176]

8 hours ago, Enorama said:

I'm onboard for the Al/Juice ship

Knowing the crowd here, that fanfic might be something else

[bigAL 2,176]

9 hours ago, McWolf said:

Gratz on the job though. Sometimes I forget we all got a life outside of the VHL.  It's weird

Right?? I literally just learned you were hardcore Francophone last week, and we interact all the time on here, discord, the fantasy league you run, bog, and that blows my mind. Vive le Jean LeLoup, eh?

 

I think it’s helpful to know the general demographics of everyone on here to just get a better sense of who you’re talking to and where they’re coming from. Edit: not to mention the people I’ve actually seen, putting a face to a name goes a long way to humanizing the pfps

Edited June 9, 2021 by bigAL

[BOOM 8,746]

It seems minimal after all of that, but I sincerely wish you all the very best for the future and know that @Juicewill be a fountain of information about Hungary and will help however possible. He's a quality dude. 

[mediocrepony 1,216]

Dude Budapest is sick. i was there for about 4 days and what i saw was amazing. Props to you. 

Spoiler

if i were you though i would have taken the costa rica job for a few years then moved on but that's probably because i've never been there and have been to europe 

 

[N0HBDY 1,119]

Nice cover story, we all know you’re just farming reacts

 

But congratulations on taking this step for yourself!