BluObieZ

Orion Slade is about to enter his second season in the VHL. He is on a roll of epic proportions. How epic? Well he has three championships in three seasons. How could this be? Well in his two seasons in the VHLM he had two cups. Add those to the cup he just won in Helsinki, it would make it three cups in three seasons.

If you are new or you just plain forgot/ignored Robbie. Orion’s goal is to win as many cups as possible before he wins. He calls it his “Cup Tour” If everything goes correctly, Orion will have a cup in every season played. He also intends to play for as many VHL teams as he possibly can. Which can and should make the chances of many cups harder. Orion will have to choose carefully about which team he picks to play for. Only the top teams in each season actually have a shot at him.

Which is why he picked up his player option for his second season in Helsinki. The Titans already on a historic run in the finals, finally got the monkey off their back and won it this past season. Now that the monkey is gone they are going for it again and by the looks of it will be the favorites to win and repeat as champions. This is most likely Orion’s last season in Helsinki because the team will probably enter a rebuild and he already gave up the shot at the last ever “Robbie 1, 2” just so he can stay on and win another cup.

If you are not sure what the Robbie 1,2 is, you must be new because even if you hated Robbie you knew that he liked to sign his rookie contract with a kicker at the end. The kicker was a player option on the third season. A option that was more likely not to be picked up, that way his player can hit the open market and find a team better suited for his player and was closer to winning a cup. Basically fucking over the team that just drafted him, for his players own gain. This lead to teams not drafting any Robbie Agency player high because out of fear that they would leave in two seasons.

Hell Orion Slade was like a Third round pick (refuse to look into it, may have been a 4^th) I think now that the dust has settled and someone would do a redraft, Orion would go much higher in the draft. Or at least listed as the steal of the draft. Both Robbie and Orion are very happy with where he was drafted because the favorite to win the last few cups saw enough in him to draft him because they knew when it came to the upcoming season, the last season in their cup window they will have the young gun just entering his prime. It was a smart decision by the team and by Orion to stick around another season. Both moves will most likely be paid off with another cup.

I think it’s pretty much set in stone right now. If it wasn’t right when it happened, it is now. What in the holy shit are you talking about Robbie? FUCK YOU! That’s what! No… I am talking about how Orion Slade is the steal of the S65 draft. A fact that really shouldn’t shock you because many of my players have been viewed as steals of the draft because of me being a supposed “Locker room cancer” and my well known Robbie 1,2 teams rebuilding were scared to draft my players because they will leave after just two seasons and they would leave the team with a sour taste in their mouth (no homo)

But yet again, here we are my last ever player and yet again I did it again. But how? Why? Are there no better players? Um no. Orion was draft late in the 3^rd fucking round like come on. It’s pretty certain no good players are left on the board that late. The only reason Orion was on the board was because I pretty much said don’t draft me. I wanted to go undrafted so I can pick my team. BUT NOOOOOOO @Quik THE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!! Drafted Orion. He took a “gamble” in the 3^rd round because he knew if he could get me to sign he would get a good player. It wasn’t much of a gamble because that late into the draft you can pretty much autopick or just forfeit picks so taking a stab in the dark at a player that may not sign is actually a pretty small risk with potential for high rewards. Now here we stand, Orion and The Sink have their cup and going for another. All because of this calculated risk that The Sink took in the 3^rd round that turned out to be the steal of the draft. Hahahaha fuck you!

10

Wow... no Orion Slade...

1

On 6/25/2019 at 12:11 AM, Sonnet said:

 

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending 6/30

    

 

1) Three years, three finals. You think there's any truth to the saying "Third time's a charm?"

2) We downed Davos 4-1, and now only the Wolves stand in our way. What's the key to beating this team?

3) The time for love and kindness is over- let the Wolves hear it with your best bit of trash talk.

4) This is the first finals since the re-introduction of conferences in the VHL. How does it feel to be representing all of EU for the first time in quite a while?

5) It's been a long season, and this roster has stayed consistent over just about every game. How confident are you in your teammates for this last Bo7?

6) The mic is yours. Before the finals begin, before season 66 comes to a close, what do you have to say to anyone out there willing to listen?

 

    

@BarzalGoat @Quik @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @Sohva @Galdoblame @Kuch9 @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @aleks @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Jables @jblock3 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Beketov

1. Yeah cause I said it. We'll get one next season also

2. Caring enough to stay awake 

3. The finals were over before they began. Literally. And now they literally are over.

4. Couldn't give a fuck less tbh

5. Bo7? Wtf

6. Orion Slade will win the most cups for a player in league history. Prepare for the trash talk. It will be epic.

1

Ah yes... 4 in 6 seasons

Leaving the VHL for good in a few seasons I'd like to helm USA again

On 6/23/2019 at 10:03 PM, Matt_O said:

So you’re not resigning with Helsinki? They’ll be good though. 

I have a player option on next season. Since this is my last player ever i want to switch teams every year and win a cup every season

On 6/21/2019 at 11:20 AM, Sonnet said:

 

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending 6/23

    

 

1) We've had a little time off while the first round of the playoffs was taking place. How did you spend it?

2) Davos comes out of the first round off of a sweep of Riga- how do you think we'll stack up to that?

3) The VHL has seen a spooky trend of "favored" teams losing out when it matters most. What are we going to do to make sure this year's result is different?

4) Which of the boys are taking home the playoff MVP this year?

5) Borwinn has been on a tear all season, do you think he'll continue it into our playoff games?

6) If we beat Davos and move on, who would you like to see in the finals? Vancouver or Calgary?

 

    

@BarzalGoat @Quik @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @Sohva @Galdoblame @Kuch9 @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @aleks @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Jables @jblock3 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Beketov

1. Partying

2. Pretty easy, they have no chance

3. Play Orion all you can. He is the teams horse shoe

4. Don't really know. I'm pretty ignorant 

5. Sure why not?

6. Calgary. I want to destroy them 

1

Stop me if you heard any of this before. The Helsinki Titans are going to the finals. Stop? Well that was fast… Damn it! Whatever will I write about then? Well guess what? I will continue talking about the Helsinki Titans.

This will be the Titans third finals in a row. That’s Patriots and Warriors level right there. Sure those team win championships and Helsinki is still waiting to win. Well guess fucking what, I hate to break it to you but the Titans will be the champions this season. It’s just written in stone.

Now this is where this is going to take a left turn. Or uh a right? I don’t know. Why? Because it’s very hard to write an article on something that I do not know about. I probably looked at maybe four game threads this whole season. I do not know the stats or anything. So I am literally taking guesses here. All I know is that we are off to the cup.

So it’s time for wild shots in the dark because well, that’s what I do. Hell other than my own player I have no idea who else is on the team. But bear with me here.

You would think that the team that has failed to win the cup in the last two attempts would be a bit afraid that it would happen again this season, but if you asked players on the team they seem pretty relaxed and excited for the chance to finally win it. Orion Slade the rookie sensation is looking for his first cup in his career. Orion is on a great streak of his own. He won two cups in the VHLM and with a cup this season it would be three cups in three seasons. Which is the opposite of the Helsinki curse that is going on right now.

Orion might just be the thing that the Titans need right now. Sure he isn’t their best player, but he is just one lucky mother fucker. He just keeps winning. Something that this team needs right now. They must move past the last two years of failure and disappointment and they must win the cup. If they fail to win this time around they may go down as one of the best teams to never win the cup. It would be quite sad if they fail, but Orion is pretty confident about their chances. “Look, stop with these stupid questions. I had enough about hearing how this team failed year after year. Have I failed? Or have I lived up to my promise? I think I lived up to my career promise. So till I fail. Which I won’t. All of you idiots can shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear about any of this. So you might as well start the questions about how it feels to be a VHL champion, because I refuse to answer any questions about any of this”

The finals will be exciting. I think. Helsinki should take it in five games because they are that fucking good. If you disagree, then you are an idiot. Helsinki will own you and the series. Enjoy!

With this season almost done the question soon will become, where will Orion Slade take his talents next season? Does he even know who is the favorite next season? Does he even care to look into it? So many questions and Orion probably does not have the answer…yet?

Does he care to look into it? Probably fucking not. Orion is pretty ignorant, much like his agent Robbie Zimmers. So to expect him to look into teams for next season is expecting too much of him. It’s like expecting Donald Trump to do anything Presidential or anything that would make the country great. Orion says “Trust me when I say this, I will be playing for the cup favorites next season. Count on it. Write it the fuck down because it will happen. Sure maybe the team that everyone expects to win next season might not sign me, but another favorite will come by and be like make us better by signing with us and we will get you your second cup”

How does Orion even expect to do all this and know that the team that he is signing with is actually not fucking horrible? Well he claims he has a way of making sure that the team he signs with truly is as good as they say they are, and no it’s not looking into who the team has. Orion doesn’t care what people say, he doesn’t care if people say that teams just will refuse to sign him. To that he says “Cool, let them not sign me. It just makes my end goal come that much closer to coming true. If I have to sit a season because no one wants to sign me then I will still still have 3 cups in 3 seasons played. To stop my this train you must fool me and make me sign with you. But you can’t do that, because I am smarter than you. I went to the fuck around school of Robbie Zimmers. I know what I need to do and how I will do it. Enjoy”

There is no way of telling where he will sign. We only know that he will not sign in Calgary because that team is a failure with a piece of shit GM that has no idea what he is doing. He will most likely not sign with the new expansion teams, because they most likely will not be good enough next season to compete for a cup. So that leaves a short list of Seattle, New York, Riga, Davos… Can’t remember the rest but those four teams are pretty high up on the list of teams Orion would love to play for. Are any of those teams going to be good next season? He has no idea right now. Nor does he care. He will figure it all out in the coming weeks and will pick his new team once free agency starts. But one thing that is sure, his free agency will bring the league back to the free agency fuckeries of the past.

Orion Slade woke up in a jail cell but was not arrested. No this is not a riddle with an odd answer. It truly is the headline in Helsinki. Orion Slade the supposed human with super human powers somehow woke up in a jail cell much to the police’s surprise. They let him go because they couldn’t really charge him with “breaking into a jail cell” this was after a night of partying. Reports around the city had Orion going bar hopping with what is described as a gaggle of hookers. He fucked none of them but he likes to go out to bars with them because no other hockey star can say that his entourage is hookers and drug dealers. This is just one more thing in the long list of crazy things Orion has done in his short time in Helsinki. In his short time in Helsinki Orion has celebrated Christmas in May by making cocaine rain downtown, robbed a bank (has not been proven), had super human battle with aliens (also not proven) so him waking up in jail cell is actually pretty tame for the guy. What will he do next? How will he celebrate his first cup in the VHL? We will just have to wait and see.

Orion Slade has refused to show up to any practice leading up to and any during the finals. The rookie forward is stepping up his confidence about the finals and how he promises the Titans will be the champions so why would he practice “Excuse me but I’m gonna take a page out of Allen Iverson’s book… kinda. We talking about practice. Not the cup. Not the cup we are about to play for. Not the cup we grew up dreaming about winning. But we talking about practice. Now if you asked about me missing practice during the season, sure then you can make a fucking stink about it. Ill still be an ass about it, but you would have more of an argument. But the sad fucking fact here is that we talking about practice man. You guys think that it’s something so wrong that I refuse to show up. Well come on. Why would I practice? We got this. We don’t need practice. All we need to practice is drinking a shit ton of alcohol in celebration. Hell… I don’t even fucking know who we are playing. I guess it will be a shock to me when I get on the ice. I really don’t care about them. Fuck em”

Ladies and germs it's time! for what? well Orion has a goal of getting a cup in every season that he plays in. Helsinki is the favorites by far heading into the playoffs and Orion looks to be well on his way to be 1 for 1 in his goal. It will be very interesting to see how many cups Orion finishes his career with but for now people should take this in for the entertainment value. Orion will for sure about every win, goal this upcoming playoffs and players on other teams will for sure be looking to knock that smirk off his face like the annoying fuck that he is, but if you ask Orion if he is worried about the extra coverage he says "Look, I know that other teams hate me. Sure I am not the best on the team, but I will for sure rub it in your face every time I score, every time that I am on the ice you will want to shut me up, But I won't so Invite you to come and try to stop me. Try to injure me, try to stop me from being a pest, try and stop me from winning the cup. You will fail at it all. "

1

1) The Titans clinched the Victory Cup with a good number of games to spare. What does that say about this year's roster?

Um... We're amazing?

2) How many Titans will end up leading in their respective categories by the end of the season (goals, assists, points)?

All of them

3) Do you treat these last few games any differently than the ones that mattered?

Lol no, I think we take it easy. Play with our opponent like a dog with a chew toy 

4) What's the #1 thing Helsinki needs to fix in practice, going into playoffs?

How much blow we do. Needs to be doubled.

5) Which would look the best for a crowd of Finland fans- whiteout, blackout, or all-blue?

White. We could could call it Montana Mountain. 

6) Home ice is usually an advantage come playoff time. Does it help to play in front of a crowd that's cheering you on?

Fuck yeah. Why wouldn't it?

Claiming a 2nd time

Please change these

20 minutes ago, Matt_O said:

I wasn't around for any of this but I am very disappointed Short Bus did not happen, that probably would have been the most hilarious moment in VHL history

Short Bus happened. I literally gathered all the most hated people around the league on the same team. It was epic. The part that didn't happen was the Idaho Potatoes

As insane as it sounds but the Idaho Potatoes were almost going to be a thing. If you do not know what I am talking about read my just posted MS “Whoops Did I do that” Or just continue to read this. Back when I was the NY GM my end game plan was to move (or try to) the team yet again to a small shithole town in Idaho and call them the Potatoes. Then I would have had a fire sale of all players “setting them free” and then quit as the GM. The team would have gone onto becoming the joke of the league. I would have had many seasons of laughter out of it. Why didn’t I end up doing it? Well partly because I built up so much ill will with every GM in the league that no one wanted to trade with me even if I was looking to get slaughtered in trades. I was looking to fall on my sword just so I could get one last laugh. But looking back I am happy that I didn’t do this because NY has become the premiere team in the VHL and don’t you fucking doubt it.

The continuation of the Robbie Retirement chugs along like a well oiled machine. Like your mom on her knees when she made you… I mean on her back… NO! doggy style getting plowed by your daddy like the slut she is. Yep that sounds better. Anyways this week is something I call Whoops Did I do that? If you do not know what that Is from then you are an idiot or just young. This is going to be addressing rumors about me that popped up through the years and I will come clean if I did it, said it and or helped in it.

Robbie=Anderson or Anderson=Robbie

Truth: Robbie is Robbie and not the asianic fuck that is Anderson

No people I am not Anderson. I did not create hundreds of accounts/players just to dick around. I was never that into the league to put that much time into so I can do all that. Sure I like to fuck around but that’s like next level shit.

Offered to be people’s agent just to fuck teams

Truth: Partly true but I didn’t offer

One day many moons ago someone (I won’t say who) messaged me to see if I would be his players “agent” because he liked how I fucked around and hunted for money. I said I would do it just for the fuck around factor. I had no intention to negotiate in good faith. I was going to fuck certain teams and just have fun with it. I posted on the site offering my services after this one guy gave me the idea. I think I had maybe three, four clients. It came down crumbling when teams refused to negotiate with me and with directly to the player. My planned fuck around was foiled.

Short Bus was not the real end goal in NY

Truth: Partly true

While me building a team of the unwanted players was always the goal and I achieved it, the overall plan was to actually move the team (or attempt) to move it to bum fuck nowhere Idaho or whatever, trade my players and quit as GM. As on last symbolic fuck you. Like those suicide cults. Kinda glad I didn’t do this. Because the Americans have become the premiere franchise in the league. Not the Hamilton Canucks or the Idaho Potatoes (was gonna be the teams name)

VHL Armageddon Pact

Truth: Yes it happened, Hell I started it.

Most of you must be like WTF because I don’t think this was a well known thing. Hell not even sure if the rumors got out. But I do know at least two three ex blue crew that messaged me to stand down. Basically what happened was I gathered a bunch of people that agreed to start a massive thread. An argument thread in a massive attempt to get all banned. We had lots of people who agreed to do this. Pretty much it would have nuked the VHL because by banning all these people the league was killing itself. Why didn’t it happen? I think it was around the time just before my 3^rd disappearance. I just lost interest in coming on and I left for like a year. Right when we were planning a day when it would happen. When I returned the members that agreed to do it, either left the site or fell in love with it again. So the creator of the idea was also the killer of the idea. Sorry boys, was looking forward to it but then I got bored.

Other quik rumors

My attempt to buy the league was my attempt to gain power. Partly true. I wanted “ownership” so I can threaten to shut the site down then have people beg me not to shut it down. In the end I would have shut it down.

Agreed to take over for another GM. Yes this is true I agreed to GM yet again and it looked like it was going to happen till the league stepped in and said they didn’t want to have short bus 2.0 happen.

Plans for 2^nd GM reign was to destroy all. Yep. I was going to show everyone that I was a great GM and wanted to basically build what now would be known as the “Patriots” of the VHL. Sadly I was not allowed to take over and many seasons/years later I got my chance to do it in Vegas. I destroyed the league and people didn’t like it.

2^nd year Vegas plan was to shatter previous years records. Yep. Once again. While teams conspired to trade all their players to one team in effort to stop me in my record breaking season (A fact I found cute and was well aware of due to my moles in the league) I had deeper plans for my 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th season as GM. Where I had talks with GM’s where they would trade me their good players for high picks. They got high picks and I got players that would have helped me dominate. Simple as that. But I was fired because I was an asshole. Didn’t want to play my backup goalie and some other idiot because they sucked.  Cry me rivers boys.

I once felt bad for a member on the site. Partly true? I don’t know. I forget who it was but they posted some sob story of shit that they were going through and I thought to myself. Imma go in there and disturb shit. I went in read the og post and was like… damn if I do this… I will get perma banned. So I didn’t do it. See, I have morals. Well… partial morals because I didn’t want to get perma banned. I didn’t stop myself because the niceness of my heart. There is not nice in Robbie, only evil.

I’m actually a nice guy. Nope not true.

Hope you enjoyed this. Post anymore you want me to confirm or deny.

On 6/3/2019 at 9:46 AM, Sonnet said:

 

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending 6/9 (nice)

    

 

1) Be honest- Pepper or HSK G?

2) The end of the season is nigh, and playoffs are just around the corner. Are you more focused on the current games, or the ones to come in the postseason?

3) Right now, Borwinn leads the league in points (70) and Thompson leads the league in goals (35). What makes these guys so good at what they do?

4) Lately, the team has suffered some pretty close games/losses to teams they should be beating. Are you worried?

5) Which is more important - offense or defense - and why?

6) Who've you got- Bruins or Blues?

 

    

@BarzalGoat @Quik @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @Sohva @Galdoblame @Kuch9 @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @aleks @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Jables @jblock3 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Beketov

1. Pepper

2. Focused on the cup. Period. End of story.

3. Um. they produce?

4. A god never worries. We let the little mortals believe they have chance then you smite them

5. Offense. You score a ton of goals, the other team needs to match that just to tie. If you are more defense then you have to worry about scoring that 1-2 goals that it will take to win games.

6. Blues